Hey Riddle Riddle #387: Lincoln's Lost the Sauce

Release Date: December 17, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Special Guest: Sandy Weisz

Main Theme

The episode blends riddle-solving, off-kilter improvisation, and playful banter. The group fields listener-submitted riddles, invents scenes based on mundane or absurd premises, and welcomes returning guest Sandy—who brings a lightning round of “dad joke” riddles. Themes span birthday confusion, “right-wing puppetry,” viral fast-food monstrosities, workplace bullying by onions, and the joy (and horror) of pun-based puzzles.

Opening Banter: Age Confusion and Streaming Woes

[02:00–06:20]

• Birthday Mix-Up:
  JPC reveals he spent the year mistakenly thinking he was 37, only to realize (thanks to his wife Mariah) he just turned 37.

  • “I have been working under maybe the incorrect assumption that I have been 37 all year…” - JPC, [04:21]
  • The group riffs on the weirdness of December birthdays.

• Paramount Plus Debacle:
  JPC complains about his Paramount+ app “being the worst streamer,” until Mariah points out they’re account sharing with six others.

  • “I was like, we gotta stop paying for Paramount Plus. …We share it with six other people.” - JPC, [03:52]

Fast Food and Right-Wing Puppets

[06:09–11:57]

• Jeff Dunham Live Show:
  JPC considered forcing the crew to see Jeff Dunham for “Review Crew,” discovered tickets are $140+, and bailed on the bit.

  • Description of Dunham: “It’s like right-wing puppetry.” - JPC, [07:59]
  • “Could you imagine having a 400 level seat for a puppet show?” - JPC, [09:41]

• Taco Bell Baja Blast Pie:
  Adal shares a pic of the questionable, viral fast-food dessert. Reactions:

  • Erin: “I’m literally going to throw up down my chest. It looks so gross.” [06:30]
  • Group reads the New York Post’s “Chernobyl cheesecake” headline and laments food media echo chambers.

Listener Riddles and Improvised Scenes

[14:08–38:32]

Riddle From Ben in Warrnambool, Australia

[14:08–26:16]

• The trio marvels at the Australian town, mispronounces it several ways, discusses Red Rooster, and dreams up a tourism campaign.

• They solve the riddle:
  “On Stanley, on were the last words of Babylon. If I were to stand in Stanley’s place, it would bring salty tears to people’s face.”

  • Answer: Onion (swap “Stanley” for “I” – “onion on”)
  • “This kind of rocks. That’s a good riddle, actually.” - JPC, [26:16]

• Memorable Scene: Workplace Bullying by an Onion

  • Adal plays the HR rep while JPC complains about being bullied at work by an onion.
  • Exchange:
    • “She shoved me into the wall! …She has been harassing me physically, mentally.” - JPC, [29:03]
    • “Penis breath, that is a very serious allegation.” - Adal, [29:13]
    • Repeated “penis breath” references from E.T.

Riddle From Jess: Picking and Clicking

[31:22–33:07]

• “We pick but don’t choose. We don’t come in twos. Periodically smaller... The top of the tip, we scratch and we click.”
  • Answer: Fingernails

Review Crew & Patreon Plug

[35:11–36:22]

• $5 Clue Crew riddle (submitted a while back): What’s a fourth of a score and used by many?
  • Answer: $5 bill
  • The team lightly riffs on Abraham Lincoln and “four score and seven years ago.”
  • “I feel like I lost the sauce on this one.” - Erin, [37:48]

Dad Joke Riddles with Sandy Weisz

[50:04–71:39]

Sandy Weisz—of The Mystery League and Raddle—returns to host a round of groaner puns, “joke riddles,” and wordplay challenges. The group collaborates, groans, and sometimes triumphs.

Notable Dad Joke Riddles & Answers:

• Q: What does a fireplace have in common with a party thrown by new neighbors?
  A: Housewarming

  • [54:18]

• Q: What does a synchronized diver have in common with a billiards player?
  A: They focus on pool cues

  • [55:11]

• Q: What does a clueless person have in common with a broken sword?
  A: They’re both missing the point

  • [56:50]

• Q: Musically inclined philanthropist & consenting patient?
  A: Organ donor

  • [62:14]

• Q: Menu and Bowdoin College?
  A: Maine courses [main courses]

  • [64:04]

• Q: Pop star and quick seamstress?
  A: Taylor Swift

  • [64:30]

• Q: Parcheesi & fatigued pheasants?
  A: Board game [bored game]

  • [65:14]

• Q: Coronation of a new queen & a birth?
  A: Crowning achievement

  • [66:42]

Sandy’s Endorsements & Plugs

[70:39–71:34]

• Daily word game: Raddle
• The Mystery League (Chicago): Team-building ARGs and puzzle hunts

Playful Digressions & Memorable Quotes

• On Dad Joke Energy:

  • “I have dad energy coursing through my body and it’s connecting me to the dad god of the sky.” - JPC, [54:24]

• On Eating Baja Blast Pie:

  • “Erin thinks Baja Blast Pie is so disgusting because she’s putting it in her breathing hole.” - JPC, [34:35]

• On ‘Shoot the Breeze’ (and Coco rules):

  • “I think that one may have been on its way to extinction…like, it’s Coco rules.” - JPC, [58:45]

Episode Closing and Plugs

[71:49–73:30]

• Plugs:

  • Gum, Shoes & Dragons podcast (all three hosts + Anthony Burch)
  • Hello from the Magic Tavern (Adal)
  • Raddle Quest, The Mystery League (Sandy)
  • Listeners: “Drink a big glass of water right now.” - Erin
  • End-of-year Best Of episodes announced for Patreon

• Reflection:

  • JPC thanks listeners for supporting the show, calling recording “the highlight of my week every week.” [73:04]

Episode Highlights – Rapid Fire

• JPC’s “lost year” birthday confusion
• Mockery of streaming service passwords & failings
• The ethics of paying $140+ to see racist puppets
• Anatomy of viral food disgust: Baja Blast Pie
• Australia-hometown tourism ad-libs
• ER-style workplace onion bullying
• Meltdown over riddle answers involving wordplay
• Dad joke lightning round with loving groans and side banter

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Birthday revelation & streaming woes: [02:00–06:20]
• Jeff Dunham / Baja Blast Pie: [06:09–11:57]
• Australian riddle + scene: [14:08–26:16]
• Fingernails riddle: [31:22–33:07]
• $5 bill riddle / Lincoln banter: [35:11–37:48]
• Dad joke riddles w/ Sandy: [50:04–71:39]
• End plugs/reflections: [71:49–73:30]

Tone & Style Snapshot

Irreverent, quick-witted, and digressive:

• Riddle-solving is often the setup for improvisational comedy, tangents, and in-jokes.
• The group plays fast and loose with facts, pivots quickly from solution to spontaneous scenes (e.g., “penis breath” jokes or onion HR disaster).
• Guests (like Sandy) both torment and delight the hosts with puns and forced wordplay.

For New Listeners

This episode is classic “Hey Riddle Riddle”:

• Actual riddles and puzzles—some clever, some groan-worthy
• Goofball scenes and character bits spun from riddle premises
• Playful, sometimes layered references (expect to hear a lot of meta-commentary and callbacks!)
• If you don’t love puns or tangents, brace yourself—but if you do, you’re in for a treat.

Top Quote:
“I have dad energy coursing through my body and it’s connecting me to the dad god of the sky.” — JPC, [54:24]

Most Memorable Scene:
The Onion Bullying Workplace HR Complaint, complete with “penis breath” callbacks from E.T. [26:36–30:32]