Hey Riddle Riddle #387: Lincoln's Lost the Sauce
Release Date: December 17, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Special Guest: Sandy Weisz
Main Theme
The episode blends riddle-solving, off-kilter improvisation, and playful banter. The group fields listener-submitted riddles, invents scenes based on mundane or absurd premises, and welcomes returning guest Sandy—who brings a lightning round of “dad joke” riddles. Themes span birthday confusion, “right-wing puppetry,” viral fast-food monstrosities, workplace bullying by onions, and the joy (and horror) of pun-based puzzles.
Opening Banter: Age Confusion and Streaming Woes
[02:00–06:20]
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Birthday Mix-Up:
JPC reveals he spent the year mistakenly thinking he was 37, only to realize (thanks to his wife Mariah) he just turned 37.
- “I have been working under maybe the incorrect assumption that I have been 37 all year…” - JPC, [04:21]
- The group riffs on the weirdness of December birthdays.
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Paramount Plus Debacle:
JPC complains about his Paramount+ app “being the worst streamer,” until Mariah points out they’re account sharing with six others.
- “I was like, we gotta stop paying for Paramount Plus. …We share it with six other people.” - JPC, [03:52]
Fast Food and Right-Wing Puppets
[06:09–11:57]
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Jeff Dunham Live Show:
JPC considered forcing the crew to see Jeff Dunham for “Review Crew,” discovered tickets are $140+, and bailed on the bit.
- Description of Dunham: “It’s like right-wing puppetry.” - JPC, [07:59]
- “Could you imagine having a 400 level seat for a puppet show?” - JPC, [09:41]
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Taco Bell Baja Blast Pie:
Adal shares a pic of the questionable, viral fast-food dessert. Reactions:
- Erin: “I’m literally going to throw up down my chest. It looks so gross.” [06:30]
- Group reads the New York Post’s “Chernobyl cheesecake” headline and laments food media echo chambers.
Listener Riddles and Improvised Scenes
[14:08–38:32]
Riddle From Ben in Warrnambool, Australia
[14:08–26:16]
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The trio marvels at the Australian town, mispronounces it several ways, discusses Red Rooster, and dreams up a tourism campaign.
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They solve the riddle:
“On Stanley, on were the last words of Babylon. If I were to stand in Stanley’s place, it would bring salty tears to people’s face.”
- Answer: Onion (swap “Stanley” for “I” – “onion on”)
- “This kind of rocks. That’s a good riddle, actually.” - JPC, [26:16]
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Memorable Scene: Workplace Bullying by an Onion
- Adal plays the HR rep while JPC complains about being bullied at work by an onion.
- Exchange:
- “She shoved me into the wall! …She has been harassing me physically, mentally.” - JPC, [29:03]
- “Penis breath, that is a very serious allegation.” - Adal, [29:13]
- Repeated “penis breath” references from E.T.
Riddle From Jess: Picking and Clicking
[31:22–33:07]
- “We pick but don’t choose. We don’t come in twos. Periodically smaller... The top of the tip, we scratch and we click.”
Review Crew & Patreon Plug
[35:11–36:22]
- $5 Clue Crew riddle (submitted a while back): What’s a fourth of a score and used by many?
- Answer: $5 bill
- The team lightly riffs on Abraham Lincoln and “four score and seven years ago.”
- “I feel like I lost the sauce on this one.” - Erin, [37:48]
Dad Joke Riddles with Sandy Weisz
[50:04–71:39]
Sandy Weisz—of The Mystery League and Raddle—returns to host a round of groaner puns, “joke riddles,” and wordplay challenges. The group collaborates, groans, and sometimes triumphs.
Notable Dad Joke Riddles & Answers:
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Q: What does a fireplace have in common with a party thrown by new neighbors?
A: Housewarming
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Q: What does a synchronized diver have in common with a billiards player?
A: They focus on pool cues
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Q: What does a clueless person have in common with a broken sword?
A: They’re both missing the point
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Q: Musically inclined philanthropist & consenting patient?
A: Organ donor
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Q: Menu and Bowdoin College?
A: Maine courses [main courses]
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Q: Pop star and quick seamstress?
A: Taylor Swift
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Q: Parcheesi & fatigued pheasants?
A: Board game [bored game]
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Q: Coronation of a new queen & a birth?
A: Crowning achievement
Sandy’s Endorsements & Plugs
[70:39–71:34]
- Daily word game: Raddle
- The Mystery League (Chicago): Team-building ARGs and puzzle hunts
Playful Digressions & Memorable Quotes
Episode Closing and Plugs
[71:49–73:30]
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Plugs:
- Gum, Shoes & Dragons podcast (all three hosts + Anthony Burch)
- Hello from the Magic Tavern (Adal)
- Raddle Quest, The Mystery League (Sandy)
- Listeners: “Drink a big glass of water right now.” - Erin
- End-of-year Best Of episodes announced for Patreon
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Reflection:
- JPC thanks listeners for supporting the show, calling recording “the highlight of my week every week.” [73:04]
Episode Highlights – Rapid Fire
- JPC’s “lost year” birthday confusion
- Mockery of streaming service passwords & failings
- The ethics of paying $140+ to see racist puppets
- Anatomy of viral food disgust: Baja Blast Pie
- Australia-hometown tourism ad-libs
- ER-style workplace onion bullying
- Meltdown over riddle answers involving wordplay
- Dad joke lightning round with loving groans and side banter
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Birthday revelation & streaming woes: [02:00–06:20]
- Jeff Dunham / Baja Blast Pie: [06:09–11:57]
- Australian riddle + scene: [14:08–26:16]
- Fingernails riddle: [31:22–33:07]
- $5 bill riddle / Lincoln banter: [35:11–37:48]
- Dad joke riddles w/ Sandy: [50:04–71:39]
- End plugs/reflections: [71:49–73:30]
Tone & Style Snapshot
Irreverent, quick-witted, and digressive:
- Riddle-solving is often the setup for improvisational comedy, tangents, and in-jokes.
- The group plays fast and loose with facts, pivots quickly from solution to spontaneous scenes (e.g., “penis breath” jokes or onion HR disaster).
- Guests (like Sandy) both torment and delight the hosts with puns and forced wordplay.
For New Listeners
This episode is classic “Hey Riddle Riddle”:
- Actual riddles and puzzles—some clever, some groan-worthy
- Goofball scenes and character bits spun from riddle premises
- Playful, sometimes layered references (expect to hear a lot of meta-commentary and callbacks!)
- If you don’t love puns or tangents, brace yourself—but if you do, you’re in for a treat.
Top Quote:
“I have dad energy coursing through my body and it’s connecting me to the dad god of the sky.” — JPC, [54:24]
Most Memorable Scene:
The Onion Bullying Workplace HR Complaint, complete with “penis breath” callbacks from E.T. [26:36–30:32]