#391: Kind of a Friendship Vibe Here

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle #391: Kind of a Friendship Vibe Here

Release Date: January 14, 2026
Podcast: Hey Riddle Riddle (Headgum)
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan

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Episode Overview

This episode kicks off with Hey Riddle Riddle’s signature blend of improv chaos, riddle solving, and punchy banter. The trio dives into inventive "Extreme Makeover" riddles (riffing on “move that bus”), explores the unintended consequences of home renovation TV, and playfully interrogates modern tipping culture. As always, riddles are both center stage and a backdrop for spontaneous comedic scenes, personal stories, and running gags about friendship—and questionable room renovations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Knighting Ceremony & Friendship Vibes (00:54–04:34)

• The hosts introduce a fantasy improv: Adal and JPC are knighted by Erin (“the Queen”) to protect the realm from riddles, which predictably devolves into backstabbing and Hamlet references.
  • [03:29] JP Coan: “Can I just say to the two of you, Adol, Erin? My friendship vibe people. Happy fucking Valentine’s Day in January.”
• “Kind of a friendship vibe” becomes a running meta-joke as an excuse for not murdering Erin.

2. Holiday Mashups & Show Traditions (04:35–05:50)

• They riff on creating new holidays (e.g., “January Valentine’s Day,” “Marchoween”).
• Recurring show trope: starting off traditions without much follow-through.

3. Tipping Culture & Social Anxiety (07:31–10:53)

• The trio debates the awkwardness of new-wave tipping prompts, with everyone admitting to tipping out of guilt more than conviction.
  • [08:50] Erin: “I’m never, I’m going to tip every time. I’m too anxious to not. … It’s a gift to myself. I can’t be a part of this discourse. I’m too sick.”
  • [10:07] JPC: "I carry cash now, which I hate ... so I can like put cash tips in. ... If there’s ever a study on this, we would quickly see that society is built on a big mass of lies.”
• Meta-discussion on where digital tips actually go.

4. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition—Cultural Deep Dive (11:10–18:15)

• “Extreme Makeover: Riddles Edition” features warmup riddles inspired by the show's catchphrase “move that bus.”
• Erin and the others fondly recall (& roast) the show’s bizarre kid bedroom makeovers—pirate ships, nightclub rooms, etc.—and the real-world fallout from home value increases.
  • [13:10] JPC: "The phenomenon was … if you’re a teen or younger, you cannot mention … anything you like because then your room is that forever."
  • [14:02] Erin: "The kids would be like, I went to the beach once … then their floor will be sand and their bed is a beach chair."

[14:14–16:57] Improv Scene – Kid Evading Makeover

• Erin roleplays a sly child giving non-answers to avoid a themed room—a highlight satirizing the format’s absurdity.

5. "Move That Bus" Riddle Game (18:20–27:03)

• Erin hosts a rapid-fire riddle round where answers rhyme with “bus”: e.g., “move that plus,” “move that fuss,” “move that sus,” etc.
  • The hosts riff and banter, mocking “blus” and inventing fake merch slogans like “bless this muss.”
  • The word-rhyme format gets increasingly strained (“move that cluck,” “move that muck,” “move that concuss…”).
  • [21:01] Adal: “Bless this muss!” (as a new catchphrase)
• Launches several comedic scenes, including percussion section shenanigans and a home makeover head injury as JP Riddles’ origin story.

6. Improv & Riddle Scenes Sprinkled Throughout

• Highly interactive—almost every riddle inspires a scene, such as a fraught debate where JPC’s feelings get hurt ([27:03]) or wizards fighting over their color designations ([56:03]).

7. The “Combine Two Famous Names” Riddle Segment (48:30–67:04)

• Listener-submitted riddles where the answer blends two celebrity/character names (e.g., “Dexter Morgan Freeman”).
• Examples covered:
  • [50:25] “The Bay Harbor Butcher who served his time in Shawshank Prison” → Dexter Morgan Freeman
  • [50:38] "The captain of the Millennium Falcon whose guitar gently weeps” → George Harrison Ford
  • [55:06] “The founding father who began wandering the severed floor after George Washington” → John Adams Scott
  • [63:17] “The Messiah quoted as saying, ‘I’m Duke of Arrakis, bitch’” → Aaron Paul Atreides

[52:00] Family Guy Improv

• JPC’s Stewie impression meets Erin’s “new, positive Family Guy dog” for a surreal reimagining of the series if it went PBS-friendly.

[64:03] Sandworm Gossip – Dune Parody

• Two sandworms dish about Paul Atreides, leading to a meta-reference about accidentally eating the story’s hero.

8. Riddle Solutions, Listener Voicemail, and Escape Room Chat (67:08–71:44)

• The group answers a listener question about beginner-friendly escape rooms in Chicago.
  • [69:43] Adal: Recommends the “Escape Room” chain, with “Cabin in the Woods” and “Museum Art Heist” for newbies.
  • Lighthearted tips about how escape room fun often depends on the group, and tales of props/tech breaking.

9. Closing Promo, Plugs & Upcoming Live Show (71:44–72:13)

• Plugs for other podcasts (Hello from the Magic Tavern, Gumshoes and Dragons, The Word Association).
• Announcement: Hey Riddle Riddle live at San Francisco Sketchfest (Jan 18).

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “Kind of a friendship vibe here.”—JPC ([02:18–02:34])

  • The episode theme, used as both punchline and reasoning to avoid violence, recurs as a meta-joke.

• Erin on Extreme Makeover: ([13:10])

  • “...if you’re on the show and you are a teen or younger, you cannot mention to any of these fuckers if you like or are interested in anything, because then your room is that forever.”

• JPC on Tipping Guilt: ([09:25])

  • “I only tip at places that have, that accept cash tips because I do not believe for a second that ... money that I tip on the iPad ... is always going to the people.”

• Riddle Rhyme Round ([19:46])

  • Erin: “Addition symbol.”
    Adal: “Move that plus!”
    JPC: “Display of unnecessary and excessive excitement.”
    Adal: “Move that fuss.”

• Meta Observations on Corporate “Student Driver” Stickers: ([28:52])

  • JPC: "I think people are putting student driver bumper stickers on their car so that when they drive like assholes, people ... get less mad ... because they have student driver [on there]."

• Color Wizard Improv ([56:03–59:58])

  • Aaron (High Council wizard): “The fate of the universe rests in our hands.”
    JPC (hopeful wizard): “I haven’t been assigned a color yet. … I am Landry the Lavender.”
    Aaron (deadpan): “I think the only color we have left is beige.”

• Listener Escape Room Advice ([69:43])

  • Adal: “For beginners—at the Escape Room ... the Cabin in the Woods and the Museum Art Heist would be two really good ones.”

• JPC, on not having a plug: ([71:24])

  • “Oh my God, you’re never going to believe this. I don’t either. ... Don’t read into the fact that I have nothing to plug or promote.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:54 — Fantasy knighting, “friendship vibe” banter
• 04:34 — Holiday mashup jokes & new traditions
• 07:31 — Tipping culture and iPad tip prompts
• 11:10 — Extreme Makeover: Home Edition deep dive & kid room makeover improv
• 18:20 — “Move That Bus” rhyming riddles & merch bits (“bless this muss”)
• 27:03 — Debate scene with JPC as sensitive candidate
• 48:30 — Celebrity name mashup riddles begin
• 52:00 — Family Guy/Stewie improv
• 56:03 — Wizards-from-every-color improv scene
• 64:03 — Dune/sandworm gossip scene
• 67:08 — Remaining riddles and segue to voicemail/escape room recs
• 69:43 — Chicago Escape Room advice/recommendation
• 71:44 — Podcast plugs and Sketchfest live show announcement

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Episode Tone & Style

• Language/Tone: Irreverent, riff-filled, self-referential, absurdist
• Comedy Style: Fast-paced improv, affectionate pop culture ribbing, and recurring inside jokes ("friendship vibe," "move that bus," etc.)
• Approach to Riddles: Playful; often used as a launch pad for tangents or comedic scenes.

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Great for Listeners Who…

• Enjoy improv comedy as much (if not more) than riddle-solving
• Appreciate nostalgic, irreverent takes on pop culture and TV
• Love recurring in-jokes and meta-humor
• Want witty banter about modern annoyances (tipping culture, customer service)

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Closing

An energetic, laugh-out-loud episode that balances goofy riddle riffs with sharp, off-the-cuff humor. If you’re new to Hey Riddle Riddle, this episode highlights both their playful approach to puzzles and their improv roots—plus, you’ll walk away with a new level of suspicion about “student driver” bumper stickers.

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For more episodes, bonus content, and live show news, check out patreon.com/heyriddleriddle and follow the hosts on social.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[John Patrick Cohen]

New year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps, plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8 for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery, the doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an AirPL.

[Aaron Keefe]

It is my honor to dub you, Adler, fai, and you, John Patrick Cohen, Knights of the Riddle Realm. Sword on one side of your head on shoulder, sword on the other. You should have worn shirts. You should have worn shirts if you didn't want this to hurt. Oh. It is your duty to protect beach casual the realm from riddles.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, protect the realm from riddles.

[Aaron Keefe]

What did I say?

[Adel Refive]

No, no, no. Your Majesty, this is very good.

[Aaron Keefe]

Protect the realm from riddles so no one has to do. Why are you guys looking to kill?

[Adel Refive]

We have to kill Erin Keefe.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why?

[Adel Refive]

She has a podcast about riddles that we went undercover into to try and bring down from within. Right. Gpc.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, right. I mean, that's another great reason to do it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let it be done. Let it be done. And if I find out that a riddle has been read, then it's off with both your heads.

[Adel Refive]

Okay. Aaron, come here. Hey, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is why you dressed in beach casual.

[Adel Refive]

Don't worry about it.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm in beach formal.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, it's a wetsuit.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's up, guys?

[John Patrick Cohen]

A wetsuit with a little bow tie.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Which, by the way, would love to see. Would love to see.

[Adel Refive]

Your Majesty, we've caught her, so let's go ahead and draw and quarter her.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What did you and your Majesty. I know that we're the knights and we protect the realm from myrtles and everything. Is it cool if Adol and I don't do the actual slicing of Arryn? Just because A, kind of like a friendship vibe there and B, truly kind.

[Aaron Keefe]

Of a friendship vibe there. Kind of a friendship vibe there. Kind of a friendship vibe there.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm talking to the Queen, okay? I don't need to explain the whole thing.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't need to explain the concept of frenemies to the Queen.

[Aaron Keefe]

The Queen does not get her hands dirty with the blood of a tired girl.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Adel Refive]

Don't call our friend tired. Only we can call her tired.

[Aaron Keefe]

I've been stabbed.

[Adel Refive]

Oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

The rest is silence.

[Adel Refive]

What does she mean by that?

[Aaron Keefe]

I get the fucking queen. That's the end of Hamlet.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I was trying to put my Sword in its scabbard thing. Did I get the queen?

[Adel Refive]

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, it started out as I didn't really want to be known as a woman killer, but I guess here we are.

[Adel Refive]

Well, the queen is dead and long live the queen. Queen Aaron, of course. Hope you forgive us for.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm queen, baby. Let's go.

[Adel Refive]

Gets on a horse, drives away.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can I just say to the two of you, Adol Aaron. My friendship vibe, people. Happy fucking Valentine's Day of January.

[Adel Refive]

Happy January Valentine's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Do you guys celebrate January Valentine's Day?

[Adel Refive]

I celebrate Valentine's every month.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I celebrate July 4th every month on the 4th of the month. I celebrate January 6th every month on the 6th of the month. And I celebrate. I was born in the December of Valentine's Days, so I celebrate the January Valentine's Days as well. And then next month, we got the real deal, baby. And I cannot wait for that. What's your favorite holiday on a different month?

[Aaron Keefe]

JPC On a first date when he's run out of things to say.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You already talked about myself for 45 minutes. I guess I gotta ask her a fucking question.

[Aaron Keefe]

I guess. I like February. Flag Day, which is Valentine's Day, technically.

[Adel Refive]

And I prefer Marchoween.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ah, Marchoween.

[Adel Refive]

Marchoween. Rarely celebrated. Underrated. It is Halloween in March.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But does that mean that February doesn't get a Halloween?

[Adel Refive]

Well, it does. Which is Dada.

[Aaron Keefe]

Papa. Papa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Does February get a Halloween pop up?

[Aaron Keefe]

No. And it's your fault. You're the reason I like January. April Fool's Day, I guess. New Year's Day.

[John Patrick Cohen]

New Year's Day, AKA January. April Fools. I like that, Aaron. That's fun.

[Adel Refive]

Very good.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hmm.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I feel like if we're starting traditions on the show, I think January April Fools is a fun tradition.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's better? Time to do a prank. Just start the year off completely fucking up a relationship with a prank.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So stick with us. January 2027, we're gonna be doing January. April fools. January 1, 2027.

[Aaron Keefe]

We'll do it maybe.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If it's a Wednesday. If it's a Wednesday. If it's not a Wednesday, all bets are off. And let me do a quick check here just to see. It is not a Wednesday.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold on, let me see if I'm going to just fill out some emergency paperwork. I'm trying to get out of being old man puzzles. So I'm just going to send this to.

[Adel Refive]

I'm also going to fill out some paperwork. Emergency contact.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, emergency contact.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't want to be Old man puzzles today because I just don't really wanna. If someone else can do it, that would be greatly appreciated. Love, light and laughter.

[Adel Refive]

Hey, GPC queen.

[Aaron Keefe]

Aaron.

[Adel Refive]

And send gpc.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We're.

[Adel Refive]

We're. I don't know, a couple minutes into the episode and we haven't done Riddles. I'm gonna give Erin a call to make sure she's coming into. To podcast today. Coming into Riddles today.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That makes sense. You should call her because she blocks my number.

[Adel Refive]

Okay. All right. That's me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hello?

[Adel Refive]

Oh, Aaron, are you. Are you coming into riddles today?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, that was today.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, you sound. You sound sick.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm really sick.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Never tell a woman she sounds sick.

[Aaron Keefe]

I got.

[Adel Refive]

You sounds so tired.

[Aaron Keefe]

I got that disease that you get from being so hot all the time.

[Adel Refive]

Jaundice.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, but I'm so sorry to do this, but I think I'm too sick to riddles today.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, no. Well, a lot of people were going to listen to this episode. Should we punt on this? Should we bring it?

[Aaron Keefe]

I know. I feel like you guys could probably figure something out.

[Adel Refive]

That's a lot of assuming.

[Aaron Keefe]

Send money.

[Adel Refive]

What was that last part? Hello? Hello?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Send money. That's how I'm ending all my phone calls for the new year. All right. All right. I love you too. Send money.

[Adel Refive]

Send money. In lieu of flowers. Send money. Okay, bye. Bye.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, take care now. Send money.

[Adel Refive]

All right. Send money now.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron, I'm not really gonna send you any money. You know what I'm saying? I just don't think. I just don't think you deserve it, you know, I don't think you paid for it. What do you mean? Okay, what about this? What about you do a couple of riddles, and then if I think that you did a really good job with those riddles, I'll send you some money.

[Aaron Keefe]

You are tricking me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's more like a tip, you know, like I believe fully that you're capable of dropping off a steaming hot plate of Reynolds right from the kitchen on the table, refilling my water a couple of times. But it's customary to give it at the end of the meal. You know, I'd love to just give the tip, and that's a fun thing you can do. Go in with a stack of ones, put it on the table, and then for every little infraction, just take a dollar away. What are the tips? Take a dollar away. That's a fun way to be an.

[Adel Refive]

Asshole while making unbreaking eye contact. Oh, please.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What do you guys think about the Phenomenon of people asking for tips in scenarios where you're like, I don't think any tip worthy work was done in this scenario. It's a lot of like, they spin the iPad back at you and there's the option for like a 20% tip. What are our thoughts on that?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm never, I'm gonna tip every time. I'm too anxious to not, I don't know, I think energetically, I just gotta do it or I'm gonna be overthinking it the rest of the day. It's a gift to myself. I can't be a part of this discourse. I'm too sick. Send money.

[Adel Refive]

I definitely, every time it happens, I always, like Aaron said, I just tip because I'm like caught off guard where I'm like, oh, I didn't think this is a tip scenario. And now I couldn't possibly not tip because I'm thrown. But then later as I walk away, I'm like, what the fuck was that? Like, that didn't deserve a tip.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'll tell you what, I only tip at places that have, that accept cash tips because I do not believe for a second that like that money that I tip on the iPad as just like part of my credit card. I just do not believe. I cannot believe it's always going to the people who I feel like. I feel like, is this just a way for like big Jimmy John's to like wring out another $3 from me? I'm like, if. And even if I ask them, like, this tip goes to you? They're like, yeah, I guess it does. But I'm like, well, how do you even know, right? Like, do you get like a printout at the end of your shift with like how much the tips were?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, it goes into Jimmy John's pocket himself in his big old tower with the white cat on his lap.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, the white cat is dead because he's a big game hunter, so he will unfortunately load his blunderbuss. So I've started carrying like, which I never did before, but I carry cash with me now, which I absolutely hate because I hate having things in my pocket. But I do that specifically so that I can like put cash tips in. Just so I know. Just so I know that a person is like actually getting the tip. I, I feel like if they, if there's ever like a study done on all of this, we would quickly see that, like society is built on a big mass of lies. Because I can see these corporations keep making money and they keep like firing Employees and shit. So I'm like, the money's going somewhere, but is it going where I think it's going? In fact, I think it's going. Not where I think it's going. Just be paranoid, everybody. That's all I'm saying.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that's all he's saying. These first set of riddles made me laugh out loud when I figured out what they were. And they are from Basel, I think is how you pronounce it. From Atlanta, Georgia, has it spelled B A S I L. And every time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I say A S, I L. Yeah. And you said Atlanta. I believe it's pronounced Basil.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, great. Perfect. He was at our Atlanta last year.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah, I remember. Yeah, it's basso.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, perfect. Okay. So, dearest Aaron Adel, jpc Kevin, Janet and Casey, Kevin, Susie's ridiots and future lizards, I've created some homebrew riddles that I think would be good warmup riddles. I have titled these riddles Extreme Makeover Riddles Edition. These are phrases that will move that bus. Exactly. Adol, you're ahead of it. These are phrases that will sort of rhyme with the phrase move that bus, which they shout before the reveal of folks. Extreme Home Makeovers in the ABC show.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait, what the fuck does that. In what context did they shout move that bus? What is happening? I've never seen the show.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my gosh. Jpc. A bit of culture that I miss with my whole heart. There was a show called Extreme Home Makeover.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, okay. Extreme Home Makeovers. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

And ty something.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Extreme Makeovers. I was like, how extreme are these makeovers?

[Aaron Keefe]

Ty Pennington. Ty Pennington hosted the show. And then over the course of a week, they would completely redo a family's home and they'd bring the family back from like Disneyland or whatever the fuck they shipped them off to. And then the family would stand in front of this huge bus and then.

[Adel Refive]

That was covering their new home.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was blocking their new home. And they go, are you ready to see your new home? And then everyone would go, move that bus. And it would drive away. And then they would be like, oh. And then commercial break would happen. We'd come back from commercial break and they'd be like, our house is amazing. This was such a fun part of culture because a lot of the people that they did the makeovers for, they ended up having to like, sell their homes because they couldn't play the pay the taxes of their new homes. Like, they just didn't do the full.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh. Because they would increase these Home values. They like gut them and like, do additions and stuff, increase the home values. The property taxes would get assessed at a higher rate and then these people would have to, oh, my God. And then I'm sure, I'm sure the neighbors love that too. It's like, yeah, this is a neighborhood of mostly $300,000 homes and now there's a $1.6 million home next to me and I'll never sell my house.

[Aaron Keefe]

Exactly. The phenomenon of the show and why I think people laughed about it so much is when you're on the show and you are a teen or younger, you cannot mention to any of these fuckers if you like or are interested in anything, because then your room is that forever.

[Adel Refive]

That is the amount of like 13 year olds that were like, oh, my room's a pirate ship now, and I'm about to hit puberty. And in six months this will be the thing I care the least about.

[Aaron Keefe]

The kids would be like, I went to the beach once and I had a really nice time. And then their floor will be sand and their bed is a beach chair.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I want to see scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

There's like a nightclub one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yep. A very quick scene. Aaron, you are a 12 year old and Adol and I are working for. What's the name of the show?

[Aaron Keefe]

Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Extreme Makeover. Extreme Makeover Home Edition. And we're kind of grilling you to try to figure out what you like. So we can change your room, but you're trying to give us absolutely nothing.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can I have a glass of water or no? Could I call my lawyer?

[Adel Refive]

She loves water.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no, no. Just feeling a little thirsty.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, so it's glass that you love?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, I love that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Interesting.

[Adel Refive]

Okay, so we'll build an aquarium that a young girl can.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I don't like fish. I don't like. Fish are the ocean.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, so you're more of a Grateful Dead person. Great.

[Adel Refive]

So we'll have a cemetery.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ambient guitar, rock. And dancing bears.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't like music. I don't like bears, and I don't like any sort of band or musical act.

[Adel Refive]

So you like silence. So it'll be a monastery. So we'll have monk robes in your closet.

[Aaron Keefe]

And a desk.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, just a pallet. A pallet of straw.

[Aaron Keefe]

A window that I can look outside. Bed.

[Adel Refive]

Angel flower.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A closet, maybe desk. And you said a faucet.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, a closet top. Right. I can see you writing down exclamation.

[Adel Refive]

You love Farrah faucet. Okay, so this will be a Charlie's Angels themed. You'll have a telephone with your. Okay, let's see.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Adel, what if the room is the closet and then you open the closet and the closet is the room.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whoa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What if the bed is the window? Bed on the wall, window on the floor.

[Aaron Keefe]

I want your standard run of the mill room. I know it might not make for good tv.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, a mill room. Okay great. So we have a donkey turning a big wheel and then lots of grain ground down.

[Aaron Keefe]

When does good cop get in here? Come on. Please, please. No ladders, no slides, no swings, no giant fixtures, no crazy lighting.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, kid, kid, please, please. Look, we want to do a good room for you. We don't want to do a bad room for you. We want to do something that you'll like. So instead of telling us what not to do, why don't you just tell us one thing that you like and we'll make a completely normal room out of it. Right? We promise. Right Adol?

[Adel Refive]

Yes, just. We promise to make a normal room, but accentuating maybe just one little thing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Little tiny tweaks to detail. Yeah, just what's something that you enjoy and something that's a classic that you think you'll enjoy for a while.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, well I have.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh well, perfect.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no. I want to be able to deep pit.

[Adel Refive]

No, please, there's a long haired Korean girl at the bottom.

[Aaron Keefe]

Please.

[Gary]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Drip, drip, drip, drip.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's a faucet.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, she's back to faucet.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay you guys, you gotta Google image these rooms that these kids had to endure. These poor kids.

[Adel Refive]

I most remember like pirate ship ones where there'd be like a rope. They have to like swing on a rope to their bed or something.

[Aaron Keefe]

Head to. Can you imagine having a bad day and having to do that?

[Adel Refive]

And I remember it always being a kid who was just about to enter puberty where I'm like, they truly, this room will be so embarrassing to them.

[Aaron Keefe]

In like eight months, in 14 minutes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

They're already embarrassed being 17 and your parents are going out of town on a trip and you're like, I guess I could throw a party in my house, but I don't think I could fuck in the pirate ship room. Oh, this is my parents room. Yeah, my parents room is a pirate ship room. This is my room. It's a normal, nice looking bedroom.

[Adel Refive]

Biggest room in the house. Of course.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm gonna sort of change the format of how he wrote these so they're more fun for you guys.

[Casey]

Okay.

[Adel Refive]

And Aaron, I'm so sorry you Said it. These are phrases that will rhyme with move that bus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, Will rhyme with bus with bus. Okay, so I'm gonna give you the thing and then you're gonna yell move that. And then the word okay that you think it is. Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Casey, by the way, in the chat said, I legitimately remember watching that show as a kid thinking when I'm on the show, I'm gonna tell them I'm into tasteful interior decorating.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's so funny.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Scandinavian minimalist design. That's.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, very quickly, I also want to mention, because I did, I did legit enjoy watching this show. I remember there being a lot of moments where one of the people, one of the designers or like main folks who works on the House would be like, I'm gonna. I have this amazing project where I'm gonna take all these geodes and I'm gonna make this entryway that's just like 400 geodes so that they're welcomed by the crystals when they walk in the door. And inevitably, every single episode, it'd get down to the last day and they're like, we're way behind on the geode entry. And like, we're really underwater. We're really fucked. And so it's always them scrambling to finish this like, amazing big project. And they'd always have to cut corners on that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I just don't believe. This show was started in 2004 and ran for 11 seasons.

[Adel Refive]

You should watch an episode. It's very entertaining.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You know what else was going on in 2004 that also went for like 11 seasons was House MD. So I think probably what I was doing was watching House MD at the time.

[Adel Refive]

Extreme Makeover, House Edition.

[John Patrick Cohen]

By the way, thought experiment. Do you think that the show House would be as popular if it was just called Greg? Do you think it would have went for 11 seasons?

[Adel Refive]

Is his name Greg House?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, his name is Greg.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think so.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Me neither. I think it had to be named House.

[Adel Refive]

Aaron, I'm ready for one of these riddles.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, here we go. Addition symbol.

[Adel Refive]

Move that. Plus That's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's nice. That's nice.

[Aaron Keefe]

Display of unnecessary and excessive excitement.

[Adel Refive]

Move that fuss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it fuss?

[Aaron Keefe]

Uh huh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Can we dead stop Adol.

[Aaron Keefe]

What? What did he say?

[John Patrick Cohen]

He said. I think he said Blus. I just kind of want to know. I just kind of want to know.

[Aaron Keefe]

If that's a spotlight on him.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I want to know what he said. And if it was Blus. I want to know what that is you guys.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know if we can dead stop anymore because we let a lot go now, and so now we asked if I could.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

So now when we do do a dead stop, you're like, I could have dead stopped you guys earlier. Right?

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, that's fair.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So we're just gonna let him slide on Blus?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know. Blus seems pretty harmless compared to some of the other shit we've said on the show.

[Adel Refive]

Spare the dead stop, spoil the host.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, I guess Blust does seem relatively harmless. I wonder if anyone. Hey, if you were offended by Blus, write into the show, let us know.

[Adel Refive]

Bless your heart, Bluskate. Bless this muss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Blust this muss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, now we have to settle. Is it bless this muss or bless your heart? Because we only can do one Blus merch this episode.

[Adel Refive]

What it tells us, I think. Bless this muss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Bless this muss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bless this muss.

[Adel Refive]

Sort of like a PO buddy's nerfic situation.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I had a shirt that I bought at Walgreens when I was in high school that said too blessed to be stressed. And I loved that shirt. It was a $5 shirt. It was one of the least. The worst fitting shirts I've ever owned. And I remember it was $5 or 3 for 10. And I said, I don't need three of these. So I bought the $5 one too. Blessed to be stressed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Blessed to be stressed. In the rhythm Untrustworthy character in among us.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, in Among Us.

[Adel Refive]

I don't know the names of characters among Us.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's like someone who's being like, a little like, oh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Move that sus that sus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yay. Infected wound substance.

[Adel Refive]

Move that puss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Foul language.

[Adel Refive]

Move that cuss cuss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Conjunctive adverb. Old timey language feeling.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Move that thus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. The sound a farm fowl makes. This one. Now these are starting to not rhyme as well.

[Adel Refive]

Move that that.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'll take it. It's cluck.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, that doesn't rhyme at all. But now. So now we're moving on to things that just don't rhyme.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Aaron, will the next one ride with cluck?

[Adel Refive]

Move that bus.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Male deer or dollar bill.

[Adel Refive]

Move that buck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Move that buck Work vehicle.

[Adel Refive]

Move that truck.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Move that truck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sediment at the bottom of a water feature.

[Adel Refive]

Move that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Move that shale.

[Aaron Keefe]

Move that Rhyme's a truck.

[Adel Refive]

Move that muck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, muck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sexual encounter.

[Adel Refive]

Move that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Move that Hand job.

[Aaron Keefe]

Way to drink.

[Adel Refive]

From a straw Move that suck suck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Action Causing a head Injury.

[Adel Refive]

Move that duck.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, I guess duck would be preventing that.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, we're getting further away. Maybe a little bit closer to bus. Again.

[Adel Refive]

Move that concuss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, concuss. I would like to see a scene.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gpc, you were building a house on a home makeover show and you hit your head really hard and adol. You are the doctor that is checking to see if he has a head injury.

[Adel Refive]

Okay, Just look into the flashlight here.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Yeah, I'm fine. I'll get back into work.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, I'm not liking what I'm seeing here. Your eyes are dilating, but in a way that's just kind of crazy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, no, no, no, no. I was to building the jungle themed bathroom, so I. And it's the shower pipes. Exposed shower pipes and it hit my head. But I'm going to go back to do the jungle bathroom because it did not Tiger leopard and his shower. Oh, boy.

[Adel Refive]

You are speaking in fits and starts. Okay, we do have a test here to.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think the test does doctor fits and doctor starts.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We can come and we can help.

[Aaron Keefe]

If we could help.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Fit starts. You want a fits and starts?

[Adel Refive]

Let me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm a neurologist.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm a neurologist. We're two neurologists. We're here to help.

[Adel Refive]

Fits and starts is filmed in front of a life studio audience.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is everybody seeing this or is this happening in my head?

[Adel Refive]

Seeing what?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Fits and starts is a Daniel Tiger.

[Adel Refive]

Who are fits and starts, huh?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm gonna go back to work. If any couldn't hand me the handle.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm a neurologist. I'm a neurologist. We like to fix the brain.

[Adel Refive]

Okay, you're tapping your toes like there's a song happening.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is not happening. I'm watching the fist of the stars. I wonder if fist and stars first names or is their last names probably named Greg?

[Adel Refive]

I'm gonna bring your wife in for a second.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, thank God. Oh, yeah, bring a white band because I am sweating.

[Adel Refive]

Mrs. Collamer.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. How is he? Is he gonna be okay?

[Adel Refive]

Very bad. I think he has minutes to jungle bathroom. Jungle bathroom live, but minutes to be coherent. He seems to be dipping into a madness jungle bathroom.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hmm.

[Adel Refive]

Do you want to say any last words to him?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Warthog's mouth.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is pretty well timed. I was gonna ask for a divorce.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ashante, my lady. It's pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

[Aaron Keefe]

You haven't talked to me like this in so long.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Mmm. So long. So long, sucker. Let's take you out to do Salsa dancing, ballet, ballroom.

[Adel Refive]

I'm afraid he's turning into JP Riddles.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is a origin story for me. Bona b. Argente.

[Aaron Keefe]

You didn't think today you'd get the origin story of JP Ridd, and yet we're here.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He was on a home makeover show.

[Adel Refive]

He was a man working on a home makeover show. He bonked his head, he turned Cajun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just a regular.

[John Patrick Cohen]

They went Gambit mode.

[Aaron Keefe]

He just was making a jungle bathroom, and he hit his head. Fits and starts were raccoons, by the way.

[Adel Refive]

Obviously, Obviously.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Obviously, mon ami.

[Aaron Keefe]

Action occurring in a debate.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Move.

[Adel Refive]

Move. That.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is actually very, like, prop. Like, this feels like it's not contentious. It seems like less of a debate word and more of like a. We're having an adult conversation about this move.

[Adel Refive]

That.

[John Patrick Cohen]

How dare you, you whore.

[Adel Refive]

Rebuttal move rhymes with rebut.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Rebut.

[Adel Refive]

Rebusle.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, that's. That makes more sense. It's dec. Discuss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, discuss.

[Adel Refive]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene. You guys are doing a presidential debate and gpc. Your feelings start getting hurt. Like, you don't like the conflict in this.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. No, I. I can do my health care plan. Hey, I'm sorry. Moderator. Can I ask.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Was his health care plan, like, super mean and, like, targeted? Like, what did he. What did he mean when he was like, let's take care of people who can't take care of themselves? And then he coughed and he winked at me and he drank a big glass of water, like, I think he would.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was a. Like, a pointed criticism about how your healthcare plan could be potentially seen as favorite.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It felt personal.

[Aaron Keefe]

It felt personal and not the people.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It felt personal, you know?

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, how about you just do your rebuttal? You can be aggressive back. This is. We want to see a show of strength here. I think I can speak for the audience when I say that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So I didn't. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go, you know, contentious in this debate, but I can open up my oppo research file.

[Aaron Keefe]

You have 30 more seconds, then it's back to your opponent.

[John Patrick Cohen]

My opponent's healthcare plan is an illegitimate son.

[Adel Refive]

What the fuck?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I didn't read it before. I just kind of started reading as I was speaking. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. His privacy. Privacy is a concern, especially if you have an illegitimate son with a foreign national. Oh, boy. I mean, this is. This is crazy.

[Adel Refive]

I'd like to get ahead of this. I have a illegitimate Son with a foreign national.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think he already kind of got ahead of it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No fear. No fear, seed.

[Adel Refive]

I love my illegitimate son.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Dude. Oh. Can I tell you guys a conspiracy theory I have?

[Adel Refive]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I've been noticing this more and more. People who have bumper stickers on their car that say student driver where they cannot possibly be student drivers. I think people are putting student driver bumper stickers on their car so that when they drive like assholes, people see it and get like less mad at them because they have student driver. I was, I was on the highway in Chicago the other day. It was like dead stop on the highway because there's tons of construction. And what happens a lot of times is people use like the shoulder and they just drive on the shoulder. Like they figured out a fifth lane that no one else knew about and they just drive on the shoulder. And I saw someone doing that and they had a student driver bumper sticker. And I was like, no way. You as a student driver are like, hey, I've only been driving for a week, but I think I'm going to just drive like a maniac on the shoulder of the highway. It felt very much like an advanced driver maneuver.

[Adel Refive]

I don't think I've ever seen a student driver bumper sticker. I've seen it on the back or sides of cars where it's like obviously like a driver's ed instructor.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, interesting.

[Adel Refive]

But I've never seen like a bumper sticker.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A lot of them are the magnet ones that you put on your car too. Like that just say student driver. But they're not like the big patches on the side of the car. They're just like, they're truly bumper stickers that people put on. So I think to calm people down when they're. It's the same thing when people have like baby on board signs on their car.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Which I'm like, I think the only reason that you have that is so that what, people don't hit you with their car as much. I guess.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't know. I don't know. This is my big conspiracy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. I actually. DPC approved by the conspiracy board.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Be on the lookout for it as you're driving around. People look and see if you see people with student driver stickers on their car when you don't think that they're actually student drivers.

[Aaron Keefe]

You just made the word 80% world. 80% more hostile to student drivers.

[Adel Refive]

I'd be curious to see the studies of does a car or a van with a baby on board sticker get Hit less or I'd be very interested in the actual studies on that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, they have way more car seats stolen out of them. I'm not sure if that is a direct corollary or not, but to me.

[Adel Refive]

It feels like when you leave the house and you're like, I'm going to go grab some groceries. And your spouse or whatever is like, be careful. And it's like, do you really, like buckle down and go, you know what? I am gonna be very careful.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'll be very careful.

[Adel Refive]

Or is it just like a platitude, you know?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and my one caveat is you cannot just look at a person and they're older and be like, that's not a student driver. I don't think that quite works. I think because older people learn to drive, like all the time. Like, that's more common. It's more about their attitude and like, the way they're driving. Cause I remember being 16 and driving a car and being like, terrified. If you don't see fear in that person's eyes, then they're probably not a student driver.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

When I went to the DMV a couple of years ago, I was in line next to a guy who had lived in New York his entire life, like full time New Yorker, and moved out here with his wife for her job and was getting his license for the first time. He had never driven. Like, yeah, he was like, it's so crazy to be in your late 40s and need to learn how to drive a car for the first time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Did I tell you that I had like a change of address that was happening since the last time that I applied? Chicago, you have to do this like city sticker thing for where you park your car. And I went online to submit a change of address. And you submit it and they say, hey, it can be like six weeks of processing time to submit this. You can just go in person and get it done day of. And my renewal was coming up in the month and I was like, motherfucker. So then I just went out to the, you know, not the dmv, but the Secretary of State office or whatever and I stood in line for like 30 minutes. And as I got to the very front of the line, I was next to be called. I got an email from my phone that was like, your change of address has gone through. You can. And this was the same day. They're like, you can do it online. So while I'm waiting for them to call me, I'm like, whoever gets There. First I apply online and then get it and, like, it goes through, but then I'm at the front of the line and I just left. I just, like, walked out because I didn't need to do it anymore, but I didn't. I felt like I should say something to the line because it looked crazy to wait in line for 30 minutes, get to the front, then be like, nah, not worth it. But I didn't say anything. And then I thought, nobody actually cares, but it would be better if I turned around and explained that I'm actually okay. Nothing's wrong. I'm just leaving the line because I'm done.

[Aaron Keefe]

There are a million of these, but I'm just going to do a couple more before we go on to our.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sharp tapping action.

[Adel Refive]

Sharp tapping action.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Tapping action. Sharp. Move that drum. No, it's bus. How close is this to bus?

[Adel Refive]

Move that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Percuss. Percuss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Percuss. Percuss. Yeah, I like to see a scene, actually.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

And then we'll go on break. You two are in the percussion section of a high school orchestra. And Adol. You are kind of bored and you're trying to be chatty with jpc, who's just trying to keep time.

[Adel Refive]

Man. Man, I hate drumming. Right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey. Hey, man, I'm sorry if I. If I miss another cymbal crash. It's like the most obvious and evident thing in the band, so I just. Don't talk to me because I can't miss another cymbal crush.

[Adel Refive]

Right, right, right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Don't sing a different beat. Hey, man. Don't sing a different beat because I. Two, three, four. Crash. Okay. Crash.

[Adel Refive]

It's just a little crash. Remember that song? No, it's just a little crush.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What era? Don't talk to me, man.

[Gary]

Come on, man.

[Adel Refive]

Sorry, sorry.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's awesome that you can drum and talk, but I. I'm.

[Adel Refive]

Two, four, six.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Don't count either.

[Adel Refive]

You're not even counting to the six, seven, eight.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, boy.

[Adel Refive]

Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah?

[Adel Refive]

Do you mind if I crash at your place tonight?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Don't say crash, okay?

[Adel Refive]

What? We could watch the cross symbol.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Dude, I only have one more crash in this song. Everyone will know if I miss it. So please don't talk about cymbals or crashing or. Okay.

[Adel Refive]

Sorry. Hey, do you think in college we're going to be Freemasons?

[John Patrick Cohen]

What?

[Adel Refive]

Freemasons.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't. Why would we.

[Aaron Keefe]

What is going on back there?

[Adel Refive]

Josh is talking and I'm trying. I'm trying to do my snare.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Josh, I was Only talking to respond to what Ed was saying to.

[Aaron Keefe]

I swear to God, I'll move you to the flute section. I swear to God.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, I don't know how to play a flute. It's a completely different skill set.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, you missed the crash.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, the band teacher was talking to me.

[Aaron Keefe]

The whole audience is booing.

[Adel Refive]

Wow, I've never heard this taste.

[Aaron Keefe]

Josh, wake up, wake up, wake up. You're having a nightmare.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, I had an accident about last night.

[Aaron Keefe]

Probably because you fucked up that band concert. Huh?

[John Patrick Cohen]

That happened?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that happened last night. You probably dreamed about it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I also peed the bed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, flute it is.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, man. And I'm sleeping with the band leader. And I'm still on flute.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait, no, no. You're not sleeping with the bandleader.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, you're not the. No, no.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who are you? I was gonna be like a mom or something, waking you up.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Why are you in bed with me?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm sitting on your bed, waking you up.

[Adel Refive]

Sir, can you look into my flashlight again? It feels like you think you're somewhere else.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, it's a stepmom in a band, so I can. Band leader with skin flute.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fits, fits, fits, fits. And start, Fitz.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And start. These raccoons looking good as hell.

[Aaron Keefe]

Shall they origin story.

[Adel Refive]

Two raccoons on cymbals.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, let's go to break. Adol. Aaron, I am in the dumps.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, why you sad? What's going on?

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, I was trying to buy a lemon, but it turns out I was haggling with this guy trying to buy this lemon. I wanted to, you know, make my water a little more refreshing. And eventually I got home with the thing, and the guy sold me a bad car.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, lemons can be bad cars.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, I didn't know that.

[Adel Refive]

Have you heard? Have you used car gurus?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, Cargurus. I know Cargurus. It's car shopping made for you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Mm. With Cargurus Discover, you can skip the filters and describe what you're looking for in your own words. Simply type what you want, and Cargurus Discover instantly services real listings and match you with your exact needs so you don't end up with a lemon.

[Adel Refive]

With more than 4 million listings, CarGurus has the biggest selection of cars, so it's easier than ever to find the right car and the right deal.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, let me just use it real quick. I'm going to type into yellow exterior, citrusy. Lots of seeds inside. Oh, okay. Well, this is great, because with Cargurus, you can compare cars side by side, check pricing, and estimate your Final cost so you can navigate the dealership with confidence.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's no wonder Cargurus is the number one most visited car shopping site according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data.

[Adel Refive]

But don't take it from them. Take it from me. Honk. Honk. A real car. Buy or sell your. Put the brakes on, sweetie.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry.

[Adel Refive]

Buy or sell your next car today with [e-mail] Go to CarGurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C A R G u r u s.com cargurus.com Hong Kong get in, everyone.

[Aaron Keefe]

Honk, honk.

[Adel Refive]

We're going to the moon.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, hey. Smells like lemon.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adel jpc. You may have noticed my new diamond and emerald necklace. I bought it with the money I saved using Rocket Money.

[Adel Refive]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keefe]

Mm. I realized I was spending like $800 a year on unwanted apps and subscriptions. And then turns out I don't need to do that. Rocket Money canceled them for me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, Aaron, but this. I mean, this necklace looks really expensive.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, I'm seeing a receipt handle in the trash. Can't hear. I don't think Eric wants grab your hand. She spent a lot. She spent a lot on this necklace.

[Aaron Keefe]

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give a user a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years, way before they were ever a sponsor of hey, Riddle. Riddle. And I love how clear their communication is. If there's a big spend on my card, it will let me know right away. And it will also let me know what upcoming bills I have to pay. And it'll even negotiate lower bills for you. What a dream.

[Adel Refive]

And for someone like me who hemorrhages money, Rocket Money can help set budgets and goals. I get personalized insights and regular reports. And I can receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. So I'm looking at Aaron's Rocket Money right now, and she has a goal for a new diamond necklace. Aaron, this is too many zeros. Aaron, this is too many zeros.

[Aaron Keefe]

Like 18 zeros. What's wrong?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com.

[Aaron Keefe]

Riddle I have to be honest with you guys. This is not A real diamond necklace. It's a bunch of bugs I convinced to be in a diamond formation. Still costs hundred thousand dollars.

[Adel Refive]

Pretty good.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Adol. I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult, right?

[Adel Refive]

Mm. I mean, I have cat pies, which is my food truck, where my cats make pies that I sell, and it can be a real headache to have a small business.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, and I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, we've had some. There's been some red tape with the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working on it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You got to juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be, you know, anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do something else, and.

[Adel Refive]

That could be about any podcast co host.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And, yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me. It's not like a cry for, you know, attention here, but it's just. It's just the reality of owning a small business. But Found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I gotta tell you, this bulldozer company, their app is trash.

[Adel Refive]

Ugh. Bleugh. Well, I know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles. And Found helps you find your buried co hosts.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses. Things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting. And they built an app that does it all directly from your business checking account so you have time to vet potential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co hosts at a big pile upstairs. One thing that I love about Found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases to make sure everything is accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of Bulldozers found. Makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand.

[Adel Refive]

Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took eight feet underground of Aaron saying this. Take back control of your business today. Open a found account for [e-mail]. that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with foundation. Thanks, Aaron.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That was her.

[Adel Refive]

That was definitely her. That's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, she said that.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, the electro. Electromagnet. That's how you get voices from underground is electromagnets.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Mm. Look it up.

[Adel Refive]

We're not lying.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Adel Refive]

Jpc. Hello. It's me, Father New Year.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, Father New Year. What big white beard you have and looks like. Looks like maybe was like a white rimmed red hat that has been hastily painted, like a different color.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this. Oh, oh, oh, hey, listen, just so you know, Aaron Keefe is off in Bermuda with Joshua Jackson. They got married.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him. Bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time.

[Adel Refive]

Uh huh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Not to say anything of what Aaron's had. Hey, hey. Oh, I'm sorry, Not Santa. Father New Year.

[Adel Refive]

Father New Year.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Lean in here, look.

[Casey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but if you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quint's?

[Adel Refive]

Oh, JPC brings down my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love quints. I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive. So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, see, I mean, I love quints because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Plus, by cutting out middlemen in traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quints away, but no one's. No one's kind of giving quints to you. And maybe this get up that you're wearing, that's you like asking for someone to maybe. You know what Santa I mean, not Santa, whatever your name is, it doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take off this cashmere sweater that I got at Quint's. I absolutely love this thing. It's so warm. It is so comfortable. And Santa or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh.

[Adel Refive]

Now the curse is lifted. And now you are Father New Year, AKA Santa. Thank you. Oh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this. I thought I was gonna have to Tim Allen you.

[Adel Refive]

Ooh. Oh, and. Oh, my normal voice is coming back. Oh, man. Hey, my name's Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell down a chimney. I don't wanna. Quince is amazing. Thank you, Quince, for turning me back into my normal self.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait, is my voice going to change? Oh, man. I'm getting Tim Allen. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Quince. Q U I n c e.com Riddle Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Riddle oh, and I lied.

[Adel Refive]

Aaron is buried alive.

[Aaron Keefe]

And we're back. Everybody just be cool about it.

[Adel Refive]

Everyone be cool.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We were counting. I was teaching my kid to play hide and seek the other day and I was like, okay, so they have a stuffed whale rocking chair thing. And I was like, hold onto your stuffed whale rocking chair, close your eyes and count to 10 and then come find me. But what they were doing was doing that touching the stuffed whale rocking chair, closing their eyes, going 1:10 and then turning around with their eyes closed and running through the house. And I was like, no, you have. I just thinking you have failed every part of this. Instead of playing hide and seek, I've taught you a horrible, dangerous game where you run with your eyes closed.

[Adel Refive]

You don't hide and seek. So closing their eyes, I assume they think they're hiding and then running around, they think they're seeking.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Exactly.

[Adel Refive]

Should be hide or seek.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I remember playing hide and seek and doing the old 1, 2, skip a few, 99, 100, you know, thing where you like, instead of counting down 100, you do the 1, 2, skip a few. But just going 1 10, I'm like, that is brilliant. Because I didn't say how to count to 10, I just said get there. I don't want. I don't want a Methodology. I want results. Dammit. Pictures of Spider Man.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, well, I haven't heard back from the committee about not having to do Reynolds.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, they haven't given you and you submitted a full dossier of pictures of Spider man, correct?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, full dossier.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Dossier, Dossier, mon ami.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, these next riddles are from Ross. And Ross said you can do whatever with my name.

[Adel Refive]

So what does that mean?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I am going to creditcards.com signing up for Ross themed credit cards, putting in my information.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is not okay, okay? We do whatever we want.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We were on a break.

[Adel Refive]

You know, we were on a break.

[Aaron Keefe]

These are quick riddles that describe a person whose name is made up of two names of famous people and or characters that blend together. So these are sandbox style warmup riddles.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay?

[Aaron Keefe]

For example, the Bay Harbor Butcher who served his time in Shawshank Prison would describe Dexter Morgan Freeman.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Dexter Morgan Freeman. Okay, gotcha.

[Aaron Keefe]

There's a mix of fictional and real people in here, so. And then Ross says, thanks for getting me through college. You guys rock. You're welcome, Ross. Thank you for paid for his college.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I do it. I pick a listener every four years and I kind of. It's called getting one of JPC's free rides and I have to put all every part of that quotes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Also, Russ says, P.S. please, please ask Adel and Aaron if they have seen the guy on TikTok who sing songs in the style of Hugh Jackman and Jean Valjean. They are genuinely hilarious and I think they would both appreciate it a lot. Thank you. Yes, I have and it's been sent to me. That guy is so fucking funny.

[Adel Refive]

Another day, another destiny. Is it that sort of like he goes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ah, he sings like that. Okay, here we go.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I found out about a guy on Reddit from a podcast from like five years ago that Chris Gethard was on who looks like Sebastian Stan but does porn. Oh, huh, I don't remember the username.

[Aaron Keefe]

Huh. The captain of the Millennium Falcon whose guitar gently weeps.

[Adel Refive]

Harrison Ford. Clapton Harrison. Han Solo. Hans Guitar Solo.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can also flip the order so it could be the.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it Hans? Harrison Ford.

[Adel Refive]

George Harrison Ford?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes, George Harrison Ford.

[Aaron Keefe]

How do you guys feel about that?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, great.

[Adel Refive]

Now knowing that I can flip the order makes me feel better.

[Aaron Keefe]

The dog from Family Guy who used to write for the Simpsons.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it Peter? No, that's the guy from Family Guy.

[Adel Refive]

Brian's the dog. Brian used to write for the Simpsons.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Conan o'. Brien.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Refive]

Ooh, nice one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Conan o'. Brien.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Griffin, the One guy who I know used to write for the Simpsons who's not like Matt Groening or whatever.

[Aaron Keefe]

And then this one. Keep in mind that, like, you could add an S or take away an S in some of these. That will become clear in a second.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

The foundation.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We can always buy a vowel, correct?

[Aaron Keefe]

Always. That's a consonant, though.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, yes. You said I get that for free. I don't have to pay money for a consonant.

[Aaron Keefe]

I wouldn't say that. Yeah, go ahead.

[Adel Refive]

Jpc. You are Peter Griffin. Would you rather be Peter or Stewie?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Stewie's easier for me.

[Adel Refive]

Let's do Stewie.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's right in my T zone.

[Adel Refive]

You're Stewie. And Aaron, you've just been cast. This is like season, I don't know, 20 of Family Guy. And you've been cast as the new dog in the family. And so this is the first episode with Stewie and the new dog voiced by Aaron.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You insufferable dog creature.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, we're actually not doing that anymore. We're actually going to try to keep it positive.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm sorry, I thought this was the live episode recording.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah, the writers, they said that the world is dark and cynical enough as it is that this is now going to be sort of a family friendly PBS style show.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Baby hating a dog is. That's where we're drawing the line.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's really dark. That's really.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's really dark.

[Aaron Keefe]

You have to do. You're gonna.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You should see my for you page.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, you're just gonna count to 10. You're gonna.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's beheading videos. Not the violent kind. It's. People be getting head.

[Aaron Keefe]

You just are gonna look.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's what I call glovejobs porn. I got blowjob porn. Beheading videos. That's fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're gonna say the number of the day today is 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10. That's all you have to say.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The number of the day today is. Silence, you stupid Burbank.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, no, see, that's played out. We're done with that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's play. D'oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's played out. Actually, can we get a new baby in here?

[John Patrick Cohen]

How do you beat a nude baby?

[Adel Refive]

Hold for new baby.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hold a nude baby. Skin to skin.

[Aaron Keefe]

Aren't you tired? Hey, look at me. Aren't you so tired? You've been doing this 25 years. You must be so tired.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes. I mean, it's been a long road and I guess I am sometimes somewhat tired. In what I have to do enough.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[Adel Refive]

Hi, I'm the new baby. I'm Lil. Kyle.

[Aaron Keefe]

Time to rest. Okay.

[Adel Refive]

Okay. All right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Yes. I guess. I guess it's time to rest. Are we still gonna let the white guy do the black guy's voice? Is that still something we're doing?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we don't draw the line at that same.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think that's not. They don't do that anymore, right? They stopped doing that at one point. They stopped doing that. Right? Probably for a long time it was that, but then they stopped doing that. Good, good.

[Adel Refive]

I do, I do enjoy the idea of a Family Guy episode where it's like, remember this is like that time where da, da, da, da. And then Aaron is the new dog. Is like, hey, hey, hey. We're not doing that anymore. No more flashbacks, no more. We're not doing that.

[Aaron Keefe]

We're done.

[Adel Refive]

We're done.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I did see it. I did see a thing the other day and it was like someone being like, was anyone really offended at the guy who played a poo on the Simpson? And a bunch of people were like, yes. Yeah, yeah. That's why they changed. Of course. Of course they were.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think no one was the Internet bowels from whence they came.

[Adel Refive]

Anyone really offended by a stereotype?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is anyone offended by not just a stereotype but like the wrong race of person doing that stereotype? Like it's like, yeah, that's one thing that offends people.

[Adel Refive]

Uh huh.

[Aaron Keefe]

Go ahead.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, I'm done.

[Aaron Keefe]

The founding father who began wandering the severed floor after George Washington.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The severed floor.

[Adel Refive]

Severed floor.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The fuck does that mean?

[Adel Refive]

Oh, so John Adams Scott.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, the show. Severance. Gotcha.

[Aaron Keefe]

The deep voiced white wizard who assassinated the 35th President of the USA.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's the voice.

[Adel Refive]

White Wizard, Gandalf the Gray.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's an actor who played this. Ian McKellen presidents deep voice White wizard, the white.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can I do the opposite of a dead stop for Ian McKillen presidents? Because that's.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's awesome.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's pretty good.

[Aaron Keefe]

That rocks.

[Adel Refive]

Gandalf Lundgren.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Not Gandalf, it's the white Wizard. So Saruman. Yeah, but it's the actor.

[Adel Refive]

Saruman.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, that's Christopher Lee. Yeah, Christopher Lee Lee for Lee Harvey Oswald.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well done everybody. Does anyone care?

[Adel Refive]

I would like to see a scene. Aaron, you are the High Council wizard.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adel Refive]

Jpc, You're a new wizard and you're trying to vie for your color.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

The fate of the universe rests in our hands.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes. Agreed.

[Aaron Keefe]

We must move forward with no doubt in our heart. Sorry, this is not a Q and A portion. Just everyone wants to put their hands down. It's more of a rousing speech. Call to arms. We normally work as individual. Sorry.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And will there be a Q and A at any point?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, this is just a rousing speech for us to fight evil. Get all the wizards together. We normally work as individuals, but today we bring our power. Sorry, what? You're looking at the program like you don't believe me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I just. I haven't been assigned a color yet, and so I can't believe that I'm going to go out to fight, you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Know, you assigned colors, like, three months ago. Did you not fill out the paperwork? Did you. Were you just not responding? What was going on three months ago?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, what I got in the mail was my color. That's okay. So. Yeah. So I would. So I. I am Landry the Lavender.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. So everyone has their sort of thing. I think the only color we have left is beige.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's not true. I am Binny the Beige.

[Aaron Keefe]

See, I still. I don't think we have any colors left. I don't think you can join us this time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, no, no, no, no. I've got a staff. I can. I can join.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, you gotta have a. See, this is. We talk about this all the time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Easy. Can I just do a shade? Can I just be, like, crimson? I know we got right on the red over there. Can I just be. Can I do crimson or.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can not.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. What is writing the red?

[Aaron Keefe]

Crimson.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What? You already have crimson?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we have, like. Look around, man. There's like, 2,000 colors in here.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's crimson.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're colorblind.

[Adel Refive]

Excuse me, Henri, the off white. I'd like to say something.

[Aaron Keefe]

Of course. Yeah. Henri, you're the best of us. Please.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, that's too kind. I simply must not accept that. But thank you for saying. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much, Henri, you're the best.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Are we sure we're not confusing Henri with me? Eric the eggshell.

[Aaron Keefe]

Boo.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We're so close.

[Adel Refive]

I'm getting cool. I think we may have a glut of wizards. It feels like if I'm looking around the room and doing some quick math, it seems like we have about 3,800 Wizards for every color of the bare paint system.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think we have too many. There can never be too many, right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Because, hey, here's an idea. Since I don't have a color, what if I'm the first wizard who does?

[Adel Refive]

Shape, Shape, shape, shape.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What if I'm like an octagon wizard, you know?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, that's confusing for sure.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Strike that.

[Adel Refive]

Larry the Lime Green here.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hi, Larry.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hi, Larry.

[Adel Refive]

Shapes might be fun. Maybe we.

[Aaron Keefe]

Larry, get the out of here.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

[Aaron Keefe]

Brat Summer, we care dark so much for you, and you know, you've sort of lost your luster.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Aaron Keefe]

It zooms in on his face. Like fall in love again and again. Larry the Lime Green, our new nemesis. Hey, guys, you know what? Let's just all go back to working alone. We tried to organize as wizards. I just don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, come on, Saruman. Like you. You care. You're still good at. You're still good at what you do.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I just. To be honest, I was gonna come here and sort of siphon off all your powers and sort of just like take over, but I just. I don't have it in me anymore.

[Adel Refive]

Aw.

[Aaron Keefe]

But it was nice seeing you guys.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, I guess as Saruman the White's taking off. Does that mean White is open? Like, could I. I think we should.

[Adel Refive]

Retire White like they do for like, NBA players. Like, retire a number. Let's retire White.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. We all agree. Retire. Retire.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He already retired. Jordan the 33, the greatest wizard of us all. 34, 23, 26. It doesn't matter.

[Aaron Keefe]

The sheriff of the small town of Twin Peaks who spends his free time working on his novella, Breakfast at Tiffany's.

[Adel Refive]

Kyle McLaughlin. So breakfast at Tiffany's is.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What's this guy's name?

[Adel Refive]

In Cold Blood, Trimming Capote.

[Aaron Keefe]

Uh huh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Adel Refive]

Truman.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Harry S. Truman Capote.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Harry Truman Capote.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What was the first part of that?

[Aaron Keefe]

The sheriff of a small town in Twin Peaks is that. I don't know.

[Adel Refive]

His name is Harry Truman.

[Aaron Keefe]

I didn't know that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I didn't know it either.

[Aaron Keefe]

The explorer who began the first circumnavigation of the globe shortly after he was assassinated.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is that Magellan?

[Adel Refive]

Franz Ferdinand Magellan?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Refive]

No, that can't be right.

[Aaron Keefe]

It is.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ferdinand Magellan, I think is the man's name.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you guys got it. Unbelievable. The lead singer of Blondie, who also released one of Aaron's favorite Christmas albums.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Seems like one that Aaron would know.

[Adel Refive]

Fat5 Freddy, the lead singer of Blondie. I can picture her rapping.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Her name is Blondie. Just Blondie, right? That's her name. Her name is Blondie.

[Adel Refive]

Her name is.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Let's work backwards from Aaron's favorite Christmas.

[Aaron Keefe]

He'S like a crooner.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He's a buble.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, he's not one of the most famous.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A crooner who's not famous.

[Aaron Keefe]

Remember, I saw him around Christmas a few years ago and bought.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, Harry Connick, Jr. Yeah. So Debbie Harry Connick, Jr. Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well done. Nice job. Good call.

[Aaron Keefe]

The man who genuinely prayed for God to kill Peter Parker and later became Princess of Monaco.

[John Patrick Cohen]

J. Jonah Jameson. Jenna Jameson.

[Aaron Keefe]

Uh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

You just sounded like a bouncy ball falling down the stairs.

[Adel Refive]

Jay. Jonah Jamison, Times.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's the actor who plays.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, it's from Whiplash. What's his name?

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[Adel Refive]

Oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

That 70s show prayed for God to kill Peter Parker.

[Adel Refive]

Oh, Toby. No, that seventies show.

[John Patrick Cohen]

James Franco.

[Adel Refive]

Is it the lead kid from that 70s show who played Venom?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. What's his name?

[Adel Refive]

Eddie Brock?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Christopher. No. Topher Grace.

[Adel Refive]

Topher Grace.

[Aaron Keefe]

Princess of Monaco.

[Adel Refive]

Topher Grace Kelly.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yay.

[Adel Refive]

Wow. Tough one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Tough one, but fair.

[Aaron Keefe]

The is Agent Toph.

[Adel Refive]

But fair.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whose mission is to write Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

[Adel Refive]

What was the first part you said?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Imf. Agent Impossible. Mission Force.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whose mission is to write Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hunter S. Is it Tom Cruise or is it Ethan Hunt? Hunter. S. Thompson. Ethan Hunter S. Thompson.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Refive]

Nice.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

The Messiah. Quoted as saying, I'm Duke of Arrakis, bitch.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm Duke of Arrakis.

[Adel Refive]

Jesse Pinkman. Jesse.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Who was the actor?

[Adel Refive]

Oh, God. Aaron Paul.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, not Aaron Paul.

[Adel Refive]

Aaron Paul. Is it Aaron Paul in Dune?

[Aaron Keefe]

It's Paul.

[Adel Refive]

Paul something, right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Paul Atreides. Aaron.

[Adel Refive]

Paul Atreides. Aaron Paul Atreides.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fun Atreides.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Honestly, I've known so much of Jake Paul and Logan Paul that I forgot that Aaron Paul was also, like, a person whose name is. He's not one of the Paul Protestants, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Thank God we haven't lost him.

[Adel Refive]

I do want to see a scene. Aaron and jpc. You're two sandworms and you're sort of just gossiping about. It's Paul Atres. But what's his like? Doesn't he also have, like, a mon ami gob? Or doesn't he have some sort of, like, nickname or something?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, well. So, yeah, he's the. Well, God damn it. His title. Yeah, Casey's typing Muabdib.

[Adel Refive]

Muabdib. So it's two sandworms gossiping about this new guy, this new kid who might be the muadib.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adel Refive]

Hey, it's Casey. I misunderstood what ADOL was asking for here. What he was really after was Obviously.

[Casey]

Listen, I gave. So, you know, that new. That new human, that new. What do they call him? Yeah, he's been kind of, like, running around, like, trying to, like. Oh, look, I'm. I joined the frame.

[Gary]

He's not that big of a deal, right? Like, if someone were to have eaten him by accident and now they have a tummy ache, like, it's not a huge deal that I ate him.

[Casey]

Dude. No, I was just gonna tell you. He tamed Shai Haloot. So he's like. He's, like, the real deal. He's, like King of the sandworms. Yeah.

[Gary]

He's the real deal.

[Casey]

What were you saying?

[Gary]

He's the. I was saying that we should probably. Let's, you know what? Let's double, triple, quadruple check on him being the real deal.

[Casey]

He's basically gonna be the catalyst for, like, a whole bunch of shit that's gonna happen. Like, basically on Dune. Like, we call it Dune.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Or.

[Gary]

He's sort of like a bad oyster, huh? Or just upsets the tummy for a little bit and then sort of forgotten to.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No.

[Casey]

Yeah. He slapped me hard in the face. I'm, like, a million times bigger than him. And I was like, damn, that's a slap. Like, whoa. Mubdiba's real deal.

[Gary]

Obviously, if, like, one of us was kind of, like, a little, like, a little drunk and a little hungry, right? And we just got a little snackish late at night.

[Casey]

Have you been getting back into the Water of life? Oh, my God, Gary, what have I always told you?

[Gary]

Don't drink the water of life.

[Casey]

Don't drink the water of Life. The spice must flow, Gary.

[Gary]

The spice must flow. Well, I can try throwing him up, but it was, like, 12 hours ago, so I just feel like it's too late.

[Casey]

12 hours ago, I ate it. Oh, my God. That's why the Harkonnens have been dropping nuclear weapons all over the place.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He's gone.

[Gary]

The little thing that he wears that turns his sweat into water hurts my belly.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Fuck.

[Casey]

Well, I don't know what we're gonna do. I mean, because that's the whole thing.

[Gary]

Please don't be mad at me.

[Adel Refive]

I'm not mad at you, but I'm, like, mad at, like, the situation.

[Casey]

I feel like I don't know what happens now.

[Gary]

I feel so uncomfortable when you're mad at me.

[Casey]

What happens now?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't know.

[Gary]

I'm sorry.

[Casey]

Okay, you know what? We can fix this. I know where Frank Herbert lives. Let's run our warm bodies over there. Let's check in with Frank Herbert. Let's just see if he has any other ideas because I think we kind of of fucked up, like a huge part of what he was planning. Let's just go over there and let's see what else he's got. Okay.

[Gary]

Okay. Knock, knock, knock, knock.

[Casey]

Knock, knock.

[Adel Refive]

Hello?

[Aaron Keefe]

Gulp.

[Casey]

My God.

[Gary]

I'm sorry.

[Casey]

You have fucked us.

[Gary]

I'm trying to get ahead of the problem scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm going to do two more really quick and then I want to hear a quick voicemail.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

The nervous friend, maybe boyfriend of Juno who is being pursued by the T800 Michael.

[Adel Refive]

Sarah Connor.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's so good.

[Aaron Keefe]

The Antarctic researcher who is searching for prisoner 24601 while being pursued by the thing.

[Adel Refive]

Kurt Russell.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Kurt Russell Crowe.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Kurt Russell Crowe.

[Aaron Keefe]

We have a voicemail theme.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, on a pretty little show where riddles roam, you can read reach our hosts with your mobile phone.

[Aaron Keefe]

So leave a message.

[John Patrick Cohen]

When you hear that tone, just call 805-Riddle-1.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ooh, cool.

[Adel Refive]

That was wonderful.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That was from Sophie. That one was titled Voicemails and Dragons. And if you've not listened to Gumshoes and dragons, that's a little homage to the theme song that Arnie Parrott wrote for Gumshoes and Dragons. Thank you so much, Sophie. Oh, and please, if you have a voicemail theme to submit, please do it, send it to us. You will probably hear it on the show because I think we only have a few more hrrpodcastmail.com 30seconds or less. Hey, this is Amanda.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thanks for being the go to Bisexual podcast. My husband and I have some friends who have never been into escape room.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We love escape rooms.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's a Go To Good Chicago area escape room to take some newbies to. Thanks a lot. Have a good day. Okay, honored. I had no idea. Did anyone go to the official bisexual podcast award ceremony? I didn't go.

[Adel Refive]

I did bipodal.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I was not invited.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would have looked so hot at that. I would have tried to look so hot at that.

[Adel Refive]

Aaron, you won best. I want to say.

[Aaron Keefe]

Careful.

[Adel Refive]

You won best.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Great period. Oh, you won best period. Jesus. What an award.

[Adel Refive]

I would say. And this is a chain, so I guess it depends on how you feel about chains, but there's a chain called the escape Room. They have a location in Chicago on, I want to say Ohio street, downtown, right across from Italy. And I feel like they have the best rooms in terms of, like, high quality sort of layout and mechanisms and everything works and everything looks really nice. And I feel like specifically at the escape room. The Cabin in the woods game and the museum art heist would be two really good ones, I think for like beginners or newer folk.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ooh, I love that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I also think that like and Adol, correct me if I'm wrong on this, but do you think you can kind of roll the dice on an escape room and like still have a pretty good experience or do you think that there's like a high ceiling, you know, and steep drop off for escape rooms?

[Adel Refive]

I feel like any. I think, I think you're right where it depends on your crew. Like, if you're having fun, the room will be fun. But I have been. There's been maybe like two or three I've experienced in Chicago where it's like they'll step in and be like, oh, this is. This remote thing is supposed to work, but it's broken right now. So just pretend that this dropped out of the wall and then they give you like a slip of paper and you're like, I wish I would have experienced it dropping out of the wall. So there is like a weird, you know, and it's. People are trying, so no, no fault to them, but sometimes it can ruin the magic of it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, that's. That's true. I do hate it when you like do a thing or get an experience and they're like, this part of it is broken and we'd have to close it down to fix it. And so we're not going to do that.

[Adel Refive]

Just pretend that a 10 foot robotic mouse came out of the sewer and handed it like, well, I'd rather see the 10 foot robotic mouse. I guess if I'm paying $45 a person.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adol. Anything to plug. Promote. Yes.

[Adel Refive]

What do I have to plug or promote? I would plug or promote. Hello from the Magic Tavern. Gumshoes and dragons and the word association. All podcasts, I think that you should check out. Aaron, do you have anything to plug or promote?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't. Jpc.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh my God, you're never going to believe this. I don't either. And this has nothing to do with us recording a little bit ahead so that we can get ahead for the new year. I know exactly what's going on. I know what I'm up to. I know what the world's up to. So don't read into the fact that I have nothing to plug or promote.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, one thing to actually plug in the new year. It's not too late. It is this weekend. We are going to be in San Francisco for San Francisco Sketchfest. We're gonna be at the Gateway Theater on Sunday the 18th at 4pm and you can still get tickets to that show. So we'd love to see some of you out there in San Francisco.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, please, oh please, oh please come say hi.

[Adel Refive]

Yeah, we'd love to see some of you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And bonus points if you dress up like a New Year's baby. Well, whatever that means to you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Dealer's choice. Well, Jupiter Said Money.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Created by Adel Refive, starring Aaron Keenan and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. Marty Parent in the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Deporos. Hey there beauties and beasts. If you like that, you are gonna love this week's episode. We are improvising from inside the castle. And who will be our guest but Janet Varney. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] Heyriddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was a headgum podcast.