#394: Jokes We Don't Get

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle Ep. 394: "Jokes We Don't Get"

Podcast: Hey Riddle Riddle (Headgum)
Date: February 4, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan ("JPC")

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Overview

This episode continues the Hey Riddle Riddle tradition of goofing on classic (and baffling) riddles, groaner puns, and dubious jokes—with the added twist that a good portion of them just do not make sense to the hosts. Expect the usual blend of loose improv, meta-commentary on the nature of wordplay humor, personal anecdotes, and ace riffing when riddles turn out to be weird, poorly written, or from another century.
Throughout, the crew leans into their confusion and mutual disbelief—delivering a very "if you don't like riddles, don't worry, this podcast is barely about them" kind of energy.

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Main Discussion Points

1. Movie and Lunchbox Banter (00:05-05:18)

• JPC raves about the new mockumentary "Nirvana, the Band, the Show, the Movie," claiming it’s "fucking excellent" and features wild twists. (00:13)
• The trio riff on theatrical comedy movies, name-checking reviews with increasingly absurd taglines.
• Nostalgic improv ensues around school lunches and "rich kid" tropes, including Lunchables and trading checks for money.
  • Notable quote:
    • JPC (as a kid): “My dad packed me a check for $11.50.” (03:53)
    • Adal: “That’s like three lunches.” (04:04)

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2. The “Host Eating on Mic” Running Gag (05:03-07:18)

• Erin tries to covertly eat gluten-free bread before recording. Banter turns to awkwardly timed snacks and height competitions.
  • JPC: “So I can always say ‘That’s Adal up there’ and it’s never wrong.” (06:00)
• Erin’s breakfast is a recurring punchline, likened to “the days of our lives.”

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3. Small Talk, Wilt Chamberlain, and “Casey, Clip That” (07:22-09:25)

• The crew discusses making dad jokes and groaners to service industry workers, likening it to fans pestering Wilt Chamberlain.
  • Exchange about “that’s what she said” morphing culturally into “Casey, clip that.”
• Erin laments the podcast’s eternal push-pull between goofing off and actually getting to riddles.

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4. Riddle and Joke Segment 1: “Jokes We Don’t Get” Begins (11:05-36:37)

Key Features:

• Erin introduces “The Everything Kid’s Giant Book of Jokes, Riddles, and Brain Teasers,” and notes that some jokes may be impossible to "get."
• Each riddle is met with wild guesses, detours, and often concludes with:
  • An improv scene about the riddle’s premise.
  • A meta-analysis of why the punchline does or doesn’t work.

Highlights:

• Glassblower Riddle

  • “Did you hear about the glassblower who inhaled?”
  • Erin: “He got a pain in his glass.” (12:44)
  • Leads to an improv scene with a glassblower-family car ride, milk burgers, and a rapidly escalating Arby’s order. (13:05-16:19)

• Cub Scout Horn Joke

  • “What did the Cub Scout say when he fixed the horn on his bike?”
  • Answer eventually: “Be prepared.” (17:52)
  • Scene follows—Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote at dinner, dealing with dyn-o-mite wine and bolognese. (19:19-21:25)

• Southern California Smog

  • “What do you see when the smog clears in Southern California?”
  • Adal: “UCLA.”
  • JPC: “Wow. A college in a town.” (22:09–22:11)

• Silkworms Race

  • “Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race?”
  • After much guessing: “They ended in a tie.” (23:44)
  • Leads to deep cut meta discussion on Diamond and Silk, plus politics and Trump eulogies.

• Lighthouse Keepers' Marriage

  • “I feel sorry for the two lighthouse keepers who are in love—their marriage is on the rocks.” (28:38)
  • Improv: Two lighthouse keepers in a failing marriage, peppered with threats and anniversary reveals. (28:48-30:15)
  • Banter about actually visiting lighthouses and Michigan’s surprise status for most lighthouses.

• Lobster Buys a Car

  • “Did you hear about the lobster who bought a new car?”
  • Punchline: “Crustacean wagon.” (32:54)
  • Scene: Crabby crab dad takes family on a road trip, tackles driving side to side, cannibalism, and sandwich choices. (33:03-34:53)

• Eye Check Joke

  • Doctor: “Have your eyes ever been checked?”
  • Answer: “No, they’ve always been blue.” (37:25)
  • The hosts are deeply unimpressed by the logic.

• Burping Amy

  • Teacher: “My goodness, Amy, you’ve been burping all morning.”
  • Answer: “Belgian waffles.” (53:24)
  • Improv: Amy turns out to be a Jim Carrey clone. (54:02–57:17)

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5. The Absurd, Ancient Riddles Segment (61:34–68:04)

• Listener Milo submits riddles from "old ass books" of puns and riddles from 1870.
  • “What musical instrument invites you to fish?”
    • A: “Castanets” (“cast a net”) (63:20)
  • “What’s the difference between a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy?”
    • A: “One baits his hook, the other hates his book.” (64:07)
  • “How do we know that the dove is a very cautious little deer?”
    • A: “Because he minds his own business.”
  • Erin’s Favourite Riddle, Ever:
    • “What’s the difference between a mouse and a young lady?”
    • A: “One wishes to harm the cheese, the other wishes to charm the he’s.” (68:04)
    • Prompts the episode's biggest collective disbelief and laughter.

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6. Audience & Personal Anecdotes (vignettes, 71:02–end)

• Voicemail question about handling family group chats—should you respond to a morality rant or just comment on flower photos?

  • JPC: “I would go chaos option…I’m putting: ‘These flowers suck, dumbass.’” (71:58)
  • Erin: “Respond to the flowers honestly…emojis.”
  • Adal: “Throw your phone into the river.” (72:30)
  • Extended riff on trolling, GroupMe etiquette, and the philosophy of not engaging in bad faith debates.

• Thanksgiving prep and traditions:

  • Hosting, Friendsgiving dishes, and the horrors of deviled eggs.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On jokes that make no sense:

  • Erin: “Some of these jokes…don’t make any sense. And some of them are crazy.” (51:01)

• Meta-commentary on podcast rhythm:

  • Erin: “I bullshit for 30 minutes to avoid riddles, everyone hates that. Then if I get right into riddles, people don’t like how curt that seems.” (09:44)

• On puns that push logic:

  • Adal: “One wishes to harm the cheese, the other wishes to charm the he’s.” (68:04)
  • C (JPC): “That is such a stretch. Harm the cheese…”

• On listener’s family drama:

  • JPC: "That's wild to demand that your family debate you on morality." (72:08)
  • Erin: "Throw your phone in a river." (72:30)

• On randomly assigned responsibility:

  • JPC: “If you don’t tell [sponsors] Hey Riddle Riddle sent you, we basically didn’t do anything.” (47:03)

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Noteworthy Improv Scenes (with Timestamps)

• Glassblower’s hospital trip / Milk Burger drive-thru: [13:03–16:19]
• Roadrunner & Wile E. Coyote at dinner: [19:08–21:25]
• Silkworms at a wedding; awkward political convo: [24:01–25:50]
• Crab family on vacation, learning about cannibalism: [33:03–34:53]
• Amy, the burping Jim Carrey clone: [54:02–57:17]
• Worm (on a fishing hook) and a fish discuss existential death: [58:27–60:19]
• Mouse disguised as a young lady flirts with Victorian boys: [68:08–70:11]

---

Episode Vibe and Tone

• Highly playful and irreverent. The hosts lean into confusion and share their genuine frustrations/laughter at the logic (or lack thereof) in classic joke books.
• Improvisational. Segments frequently veer into character-driven scenes.
• Meta-humor and awareness that their show is as much about goofing around as it is about solving riddles.

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Final Takeaways

• The episode is a masterclass in comedic riffing on truly baffling material—if you love puns, word games, and comedy that makes fun of itself, this installment delivers.
• Erin’s “favorite riddle ever” (“harm the cheese, charm the he’s”) is a particular highlight, met with the hosts’ mixture of exasperation and delight.
• As always, the riddles are just a jumping off point for jokes, scenes, and oddball tangents.

---

[Notable Quotes At-a-Glance]

• Erin (on ancient riddles): “This might be the only time I’ve ever laughed out loud [at a riddle].” (65:37)
• JPC: "That's wild to demand that your family debate you on morality." (72:08)
• Adal (summarizing the show): “If that philosophy of you, when you die, you have to live through all the suffering you cause…then we have to listen to probably every episode of Hey Riddle Riddle hundreds of thousands of times.” (61:00)

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Key Segments (Timestamps)

• Opening movie/lunch jokes: 00:05–05:18
• "Casey, clip that" & small talk: 07:22–11:05
• Riddle/Joke Segment 1: 11:05–36:37
• Improv scenes & ancient riddles: 36:37–68:04
• Listener voicemail & advice: 71:02–76:00

---

This episode is recommended for fans who are in it for the chaotic fun as much (or more) than for tidy riddle solutions.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[B]

Adol Aaron. I know that the two of you have been so mad that they are not putting comedy movies in theaters anymore. Well, do I have a shocking declaration for the two of you?

[C]

Shock me.

[A]

Shock.

[B]

Okay, shock you. Let me rub my socks on the carpet. I just saw Nirvana, the Band, the show, the Movie and it is fucking excellent.

[A]

Hum, in a what?

[B]

Okay, this movie is so funny. It's the first like mockumentary style film that I have seen in a while that was making me laugh out loud. Plus it's. I will not get into it, but when the twists come in this movie, your jaw will hit the floor in a good way. In a way that makes you say I have to clean up my jaw now. But I do like that it touched the ground.

[C]

Now wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is this the movie that Variety called? It's insane that it exists. And fandom said gives no fucks. A movie you absolutely must see to believe.

[B]

Yes, you have to see this.

[A]

A comedic miracle says Sunshine State Complex. A comedic miracle. Jpc.

[B]

Yes. So the plot of the movie is they have a plan to book a show at the Rivoli, but something goes horribly wrong. And then Matt and Jay accidentally travel back to the year 2008. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. You have to watch this movie. It is only in theaters starting February 13th. Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie. It is so fucking good.

[C]

I'm there. I'm there again.

[B]

Run, do not walk to the theaters February 13th to see Nirvana, the Band, the show, the Movie. You do not have to be familiar with the show. Just go see Nirvana, the Band, the show, the Movie. You'll get it. It's fucking great.

[A]

You know what they say. Early bird gets the ultimate vacation home. Book early and save over 530dol on a week long stay with Vrbo because early gets you closer to the action. Whether it's waves lapping at the shore or snoozing in a hammock that overlooks. Well, whatever you want it to. So you can all enjoy the payoff come summer with VRBO's early booking deals. Rise and shine. Average savings $550. Select homes only minimum 7 day stay required.

[B]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice and the horses ain't Friday.

[A]

All right, what do you guys have to trade? I have goldfish and peanut butter sandwich and a Capri Sun.

[C]

I have a Star crunch. I have a green. Squeeze it. And I have some gummy sharks. What were those called? Gummy sharks.

[B]

I was at my dad's last night. It was his day, so my dad packed my lunch.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

This is about to be incredible.

[C]

Screwdriver. What else?

[B]

No, no, it's nothing. Cool. I know Rick's got divorced parents and his dad always packs Lunchables. He's the only one that gets lunchables.

[C]

But pizza Lunchables at that.

[B]

I know.

[A]

He trades it for real money. He's rich.

[C]

He's insanely rich.

[B]

Wait, does he really trade it for real money?

[A]

Yeah, of course. Why do you think he's wearing that fur coat? Gestures over to Rick wearing a fur coat.

[C]

And airwalks. Gestures over to Philip wearing airwalk.

[B]

Uh, okay. Well, that's perfect, because my dad packed me a check for $11.50.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

Maybe I could, like, sign this over to Rick, you know, and.

[A]

$11.50. That's like three lunches.

[C]

Let's go buy a house. Should we?

[A]

You're rich.

[B]

Hold on, hold on. Don't all crowd me at once. Don't crowd me at once.

[A]

Punches you in the stomach, takes the.

[C]

Check, Gestures to fill up. Pushes you down.

[B]

It's made out to me. You can't cash it. What brings you children to the bank today?

[A]

We would like to exchange this check for cold hard cash.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And we've done this before.

[B]

$11.50. Which one of you is Randolph Cole?

[C]

All of us.

[A]

That's his full name. Ugh.

[C]

Randy Cole is Randolph Cole. Wait, does that mean Dolph Lundgren is Randolph Lundgren.

[B]

So none of you are Randolph Cole?

[A]

No.

[C]

Gestures to Philip, punches banker through the glass.

[B]

That kid's strong. Scene. What scene? I mean, no scene. Welcome to Hayward a Vernal. A show where Aaron puts something in her mouth as soon as the show starts. Aaron, what are we eating?

[A]

Nothing.

[C]

Swallowed a gob stopper.

[A]

I mistimed it. Well. Adult. Oh, it's stuck in my throat.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

I didn't fully chew it enough.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Aaron, stop talking. Breathe through your nose.

[A]

We'll be okay.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

I just watched my co host die on Zoom.

[A]

No one here to save me, huh?

[B]

No, no. We'll be okay. We'll all be okay. That's Adel Refi up there. And I'm jpc. What's going on up there?

[A]

Up there. You're driving.

[C]

You guys are messing. I'm in the balcony.

[B]

You're taller than me. Adol. So I can always say there's Adelver Fai up there. And it's never wrong.

[A]

Adol. What are you, 626 1? 626 3. 6 1.

[C]

I'm 6 1.

[A]

Okay. That means he's 626 2.

[B]

People who are people who say that they're 511 or 510 and people who say that they're 61 or 6 2.

[C]

I always try and go under with my height because inevitably someone is like, no, you're not. And I'm like, I. I don't really care. I don't. I don't need to be tall. I don't want to be. I'm not that tall. I just don't care. It's not worth it.

[B]

Well, that's shallow. Refy up there. That's Aaron Keith down there. That's technically accurate. Aaron, what are you eating down there?

[A]

I'm not eating anything.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Was this something super embarrassing that you were eating?

[A]

No, I was just eating a piece of gluten free bread. I didn't have breakfast because I felt nauseous when I woke up this morning. And then I felt kind of ravenous.

[C]

Yeah, from nauseous to ravenous. What's going on, Erin?

[A]

So I don't know. These are the days of our lives, Adam.

[C]

The opposite of my sexual grindess. These are the days of our lives.

[A]

Let's stop bullshitting, shall we, and get into some riddles real quick.

[C]

Speaking of up there, did you guys ever hear the story of you both know who Wilt Chamberlain is?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

People would always inevitably say, how's the weather up there? And at some point he got so tired of fans saying that to him. That one time a guy was in an elevator with him and recognized him, obviously, because he's like 7:3 and goes, how's the weather up there? And Wilt Chamberlain spit on him as hard as he could and said, it's raining. And then just started to do that to anyone who asked him. And he could get away with it because he was 7 3.

[B]

That's, I gotta say, pretty funny.

[A]

Yeah, I don't really want to be spit on, though, just for committing a social faux pas.

[B]

Casey clipped that.

[C]

Oh, please.

[B]

Here's the thing. The person who says, how's the weather up to Wilt Chamberlain? Have you ever found yourself, let's call it like in a small talk, like a cashier or you're checking out for your groceries or something? Have you ever found yourself making a joke that you're like, God damn it, this person has heard that joke 10 million times. Because I certainly have Done that. And I always want to be like, hey, I'm sorry. I'm a professional comedian. You deserve better.

[A]

Not just in general, because there's a hole inside me. Not because from me.

[B]

You deserve better. You deserve way clever.

[C]

I was just at the coroner and I said, do you have a coroner's office? And I was like, I'm so sorry. Just let me know how they died.

[B]

Yes, this is my father lifts up. She Howard Deed Casey. That's probably the perfect button to my father has died.

[A]

Gpc. Do you realize that your Casey clipped. That is sort of another version of. That's what she said. Someone said something dirty. So now take that in your pipe and smoke it. Jpc. How does that feel?

[B]

I. It feels pretty good. Do you guys remember when the office was big and that's what she said had like, made a full comeback because of Michael Scott saying it ironically?

[A]

Yeah. Well, now. Now it's new. The new one is Casey clip that.

[B]

This is the world that we live in, you know?

[A]

These are the days of our lives. So I have an issue.

[B]

Why are you so eager to get into riddles, Aaron? What's going on? Do we need to examine this?

[A]

I don't know, man.

[C]

Why so unserious?

[A]

It's never gonna be good enough for you guys, is it? I go, I bullshit for 30 minutes and to avoid riddles. Everyone hates that. Everyone gets mad at me. I get right into riddles. People don't like how curt that seems. How?

[C]

Try 15 minutes.

[A]

15 minutes.

[B]

Maybe it's a sweet spot.

[A]

Okay, fine. Go ahead, guys. Seven minutes of free play.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Go ahead, guys, go ahead.

[C]

Okay. Oh, seven minutes of free play. Should we go in the closet and make out? Should we kind of spitball More about Mr. Mouse Bones?

[B]

What else are we going to do for the other 6 minutes and 30 seconds? Yeah, I can make out fast.

[A]

Ew.

[B]

I could get. Aaron, I could get seven minutes of making out down to 30 seconds. So what does that do? Awful.

[A]

That sounds like a century nightmare. That sounds like a nightmare. Oh, I just got so grossed out by kissing. Did that ever happen to you?

[C]

Only when it's called snogging.

[B]

Yeah, snogging's gross. Do you remember. Do you remember your first kiss? Do you remember how bad you were at kissing? Does that. Do you ever. Do you think there was ever one person who like, absolutely nailed it on the first kiss? They were like, first kiss. Fucking fantastic at kissing.

[C]

I'm sure. Probably some French kid.

[A]

Nice. Here's my issue with this riddle book. I Don't know if it was given to me, handed to me at our first Boston live show, or our second one. Okay. All of my books are all discombobulated, but these are from Ari.

[B]

My books are discompulated in Boston.

[A]

So, Ari, thank you so much.

[B]

People.

[A]

The everything kids, giant book of jokes, riddles, and brain teasers. What's going on, guys? There's giggling in the background.

[C]

Nothing, teacher. Nothing. 48 is the answer.

[B]

48. I think my new thing on the podcast is going to be. I'm just going to talk really softly, but I'm going to have Kasey bring it up in post so you guys don't get to hear all the episodes. Erin, I'm excited about some of these Boston riddles.

[A]

They have nothing to do with Boston, so some of these are jokes, and. And you kind of have to, like, complete the joke.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

If that makes sense.

[B]

This is me and the cashier all over again.

[C]

That was actually pretty good. But don't listen.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[A]

All right, are we ready?

[B]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[A]

I guess I'll start with this one. You heard about the glassblower who inhaled?

[C]

No.

[B]

Aaron, excellent delivery.

[C]

You heard about the glassblower who inhaled? Yeah, it was a pain in the ass. He got a pain in his glass.

[B]

Pain in my glass.

[A]

He's got a pain in his throat.

[C]

Stomach.

[A]

Yeah. That's great. You got it.

[B]

Pain. Pain of glass.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene. Jpc, you are Adol's father, and you are a glassblower, and you just inhaled a bunch of glass, and you're driving yourself to the hospital, and Adol is in, riding shotgun. And Adol, you're really scared, and jpc, you're trying to comfort him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[B]

It's okay.

[C]

I'm sorry, dad. I'm so sorry. I wish I could drive. I'm just. I can't. I'm. I don't know what's wrong. I'm just freezing.

[B]

It's fine. We're just gonna sneak on into the hospital. Quick drop in. Why don't we go get a milk burger?

[C]

A milk burger, Dad, I. Something's wrong. I think something's wrong.

[B]

I've never had Arby's.

[A]

Hi, can I. What can I get you? What can I get you?

[B]

Milk burger, son. For one for my son, one for me. Yeah.

[C]

Two milk burgers.

[A]

Two milk burgers.

[B]

Does that usually come with water? I don't need water. Nothing in my throat.

[A]

You want The. You want the burger meal, and you want it with your drink as milk.

[C]

No, please, just make us smoked burgers. Ma', am, we have to get to the hospital. My dad swallowed a glass. So just make whatever milk burgers are and make it real very quick, please.

[A]

Finally, an opportunity to get creative in the kitchen.

[B]

What are steak nuggets?

[A]

Sorry, what?

[B]

Oh, steak nugget.

[C]

Oh, my God. My dad's doing that thing that parents do where they order and then they ask about an item on the menu that they're never going to order.

[A]

Well, I mean, they're just what they sound like, sir. They're like nuggets, but they're made of steak instead of chicken.

[B]

I guess I'll try some.

[A]

Okay. Adding that to the order. Is there anything else? Any dessert today?

[C]

Chicken fries, please.

[A]

Chicken fries.

[C]

Is that you guys? What are the options?

[B]

Chicken fries, Cold beer. On a Friday night.

[A]

There's a long line behind you if you want to just pull up to the. The first window to buy.

[C]

That wasn't my question.

[B]

I'll do that thing. I'll do that thing where I pay for the guy behind this order that.

[A]

Looks like Gary's behind you. You don't want to pay for that. It's going to be at least $200. Huh? He orders for his whole office.

[B]

He ordered. I will do. I will do it. I'll pay for Gary. Did the guy in front of me pay for me?

[A]

No.

[C]

What would you tell if. If he had. Or do you just pocket that?

[A]

Yeah, we. I would tell you what he didn't pay for.

[B]

I paid for a guy behind me.

[A]

All right, your total is gonna be $21,683. Pull up to the first window, please.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna. Just drive. I'm gonna keep driving. I'm just gonna drive. Are you okay? Buckle up, buckle up.

[C]

Yeah. Go, dad.

[B]

Floor.

[C]

Oh, the windshield went right in your mouth.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh, the windshield went in my mouth. Oh, I think it. I think it did. I think it.

[A]

We hard cut to his funeral.

[C]

We are gathered here today to bury my dad. Actually, I never confirmed the. Can I just open the casket real quick? Just.

[A]

Sir, Sir.

[C]

Just a crack. I just need to confirm it's.

[A]

Sir, Sir. Sir, you can't. I never confirmed it.

[C]

I never confirmed it was my.

[B]

Sir, please, please. He's grieving. He's grieving.

[A]

Except that your father is dead.

[B]

Connor. My brother. Your father is dead. Just. It's okay. Go sit. Go sit. I'll deal with the priest. I'd like to Pay for the funeral after this funeral as well. Is that something I talked to you about or.

[A]

It was a whole busload of. It was a family reunion on a bus. So that's going to be about like.

[B]

So the next funeral is a mass. It's a mass funeral.

[A]

Yeah, it's 120.

[C]

We cut to the next funeral. My name's Rick. I run the funeral home. There's nobody here.

[B]

See?

[C]

Seems like anybody would have showed up. Is dead.

[B]

Is dead.

[A]

Are you guys having fun?

[B]

Oh, yes, I am. Yeah.

[A]

What did the Cub Scout say when he fixed the horn on his bike?

[B]

We blow the horn.

[C]

We below yes.

[B]

We below the horn.

[A]

We below the horn we below wobbles but they don't fall down. These are the days of our lives.

[B]

We bellow to the night we bellow to the H. We've done that on the show before.

[C]

What did the Boy Scout say when he honked his horn? What was it?

[A]

What did the Cub Scout say when he fixed the horn on his bike?

[B]

When he fixed the horn on his bike?

[A]

What is their motto?

[C]

I guess never tell a lie. No, that's George Washington.

[B]

He said to the horn, now you can get blown. Which is Cub scum? I don't know.

[C]

Oh, don't they hold up two fingers.

[B]

And say like, scout's honor.

[C]

We'll never kill. What is their thing?

[B]

I kill for the flag. I'll die for this country.

[A]

Be prepared.

[C]

Be. Wait, what would you change that? Doesn't somebody sing that song? Beep beep Prepared Beep Prepared.

[A]

Yeah. Be prepared.

[B]

Do Does a bike horn repaired?

[C]

Oh, that's incredible.

[B]

I feel like. Bikehorns HONK and Well, no, I guess they would beep.

[C]

I'd like to see a scene and I think, honestly, this might be the most perfect gas tick I've ever done in my fucking life. Aaron. Or the Roadrunner. JBC or Wile E Coyote. And we've done this before. Are you serious?

[A]

Yeah, I love it.

[C]

Never mind.

[A]

No, no, I want to do it again. I'm just saying that's amazing that we've played those parts before.

[B]

We don't know that we've played these exact parts. Maybe I was the Roadrunner at one point.

[A]

Okay, good point. No, I want to see it Adol. Come on.

[B]

Come on, Adoles there being like, I got a stroke of genius. Okay, jpc, you're going to be playing this character who is like a wily old mate, but he does JPC's wild.

[C]

Coyote, Aaron, your roadrunner. And the two of you are having A dinner to see if you can't talk through everything and put an end to this war.

[B]

I hope it's okay that I ordered a bottle. I'll pay for it. And if you don't like it, you don't have to.

[A]

That's really nice. I was thinking more of, like, a cocktail, but if you ordered a bottle of red wine, then I'm in.

[B]

I'm. It's a.

[A]

At an Italian restaurant.

[B]

Yeah, it's like a. It's like an aperit.

[A]

Like a daytime wine having Bolognese.

[C]

This is a 1987 Acme Rose.

[A]

What?

[C]

Go ahead and uncork it.

[B]

Here.

[A]

Sorry. Wait, before you uncork it, do you have anything that's maybe a better bottle, a better match for the meal that we're having? We're not having, like, oysters on the beach. We're having, like, kind of a heavy Italian meal, I guess.

[B]

I guess we're both having Bolognese as well. I. I know. We have an order.

[A]

It's what they do best. Why would you not get it when I told you it's what they're known for?

[B]

Is that what you're known for? You're known for Bolognese?

[C]

We are known for our bolognese.

[B]

Great. In our. But I don't even know why they have a rose on the menu if it's all Bolognese here, if that's the only thing that they do here.

[A]

Well, they have other things here. I'm just saying that's what they're known for. Why would you not get their famous dish?

[B]

Why don't you bring us whatever you bring the most people? Because we're gonna just have the standard experience. Is that something I can order?

[C]

Two bolognese with water.

[A]

You're being really hostile to the waiter.

[B]

Oh, oh, I'm being hostile to the waiter. Okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I guess we could just forget about you spitting in the nice 1987 Acme rose that I ordered for the table.

[A]

I didn't spit in it. I didn't even let the bottle be open. You didn't pay for it. There was no harm, no foul. Speaking of no foul. Stands up, brushes off legs. I think. I think that we tried, and I think it didn't work. And it's either. It's either we're. Or we're chasing each other, isn't it? Okay. And we're not anymore, so. Beep, beep.

[B]

Well, the bottle had dynamite in it.

[A]

Oh, of course it did.

[B]

So I was gonna kill Giant expl.

[C]

Explosion in the back room.

[A]

Of course it did.

[B]

Okay, check please.

[A]

Check, please. No. Check please.

[B]

Check please. It's on me.

[A]

It's on me.

[B]

I blew up the kitchen. I insist. Me meep essene.

[A]

Huzzah, huzoo.

[B]

Azza huzoo.

[A]

What do you see when the smog clears in Southern California? The desolation of Smaug.

[B]

Smaug.

[A]

What do you see when the smog clears in Southern California?

[B]

Nothing. That never clears.

[A]

Adel. What did you say?

[C]

Southern California.

[A]

No. That's a great answer. It's kind of Southern California. It's kind of like that.

[C]

What do you see in Southern California when the smog clears?

[B]

Do you see the sea?

[A]

No. Uc.

[C]

Ucla.

[A]

Yep. Ucla.

[C]

Wow. A college in a town.

[B]

Wow. A college in a town.

[C]

U, C, L, A. Bruins.

[B]

That's Boston.

[A]

Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race?

[B]

No. End of question. End of discussion.

[C]

Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race?

[B]

Is it something like it was inch. An inch or something or.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Two silkworms. It was unbelievable.

[A]

That's awesome. I wish it was unbelievable.

[C]

It was.

[B]

Synthetic smooth. It was a smooth finish. It was silkworms.

[C]

Silk.

[B]

What about silk?

[C]

Silk. The shock.

[A]

Something that you make.

[C]

Silk pajamas. Silk stockings.

[B]

Stockings make out of silk worn on.

[A]

Special occasions or business ventures.

[B]

Oh, they were going so hard that they were pantying.

[A]

Oh, they tied business ventures. Yes. Adol. Yours made sense. Excuse me. Spotlight on jpc. That's gonna be a dead stop.

[B]

Oh, Aaron doesn't think that sex could be a business. Huh. I guess sex work isn't work to Aaron. Oh, I guess I'm not putting in eight hour days.

[A]

It closes. JPC behind the door, locks the door. Toggle, toggle, toggle, toggle, toggle.

[B]

Oh, you closed it on me.

[C]

Ooh, A.D. will do. Holds up a sign that says yikes. Falls down a canyon.

[A]

They ended in a tie.

[B]

They ended in a tie.

[A]

I would like to see a scene. You guys are two silkworms and you are at like the cocktail hour at a wedding, and one of you made your own outfit and you're kind of bragging about it to your friend.

[C]

Wowee.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that genuine?

[B]

Yeah, genuine's here. He requested. He requested that they don't play pony, which I'm like, yeah, I mean, normally you would play it at a wedding, but. But yeah, I guess Alicia knows him.

[C]

That's wild.

[B]

College or something.

[C]

Also, is that real silk?

[B]

No, I believe silk passed away. That's diamond. You're Talking about the two conservative fire brands.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Diamond and silk. Yeah, that's. I think that's. Were they twins? Whichever one it is, don't say anything to her about the other one just because obviously it could be misconstrued if you approach her at all. I'm not going to talk to her because we have different politics, but I guess she knows Alicia. Like they went to college with Ginuwine or something. I don't. I don't know how it.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

How it. Yeah. How it all shakes out.

[C]

Well, I made my own suit.

[B]

Hey, look at that. Diamond and silk. Is that. And one of them did pass away, right?

[C]

I don't know who that is. They're a. What are they? They're a duo.

[B]

They were, like, conservative, like, not politicians, talking head, like, pundit type people. And I remember that whichever one, they were both like big Trump people. Like, big MAGA people. And whichever one died, Trump went to the funeral and was like, yeah, I didn't really know who this person was. Like, did that thing where that Trump does where he goes to someone's funeral. I don't know. I think he's done multiple times to multiple people who love him.

[A]

Classic.

[B]

Classic.

[A]

Some of these jokes or riddles are like mini scenes. So this one, the teacher says, alex, why are you brushing your teeth during class? And then Alex says.

[C]

Because I'm about to fall asleep on your ass. Because.

[A]

Okay, expelled.

[C]

Because.

[B]

Because the way you teach stinks. Like, my breath or something.

[C]

Or.

[A]

Okay, self burn.

[B]

He's brushing his teeth during class. Okay, normally you would brush your teeth, what, like before. Oh, because. He says, oh, because, teacher, you really made a meal of that last lesson.

[A]

He says, I want to be ready for the prom.

[C]

I want to be ready for the test.

[B]

Quiz. Test.

[C]

The pop quiz.

[B]

The pop test. The final.

[A]

No, you don't need a pen for it.

[C]

The exam.

[B]

The oral exam.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

Next riddle. I feel sorry for the two lighthouse keepers.

[C]

Oh, they went crazy.

[B]

Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson.

[C]

They went nuts.

[A]

This one, I feel like, doesn't give enough info, so I'm gonna add it.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

They're both out to sea.

[A]

I feel sorry for the two lighthouse keepers who are in love.

[C]

They both shine their light on one another. They both.

[A]

Beautiful poem. Not the answer, but beautiful poem.

[C]

Two lighthouses and a path diverged, and I took.

[B]

Adel, if you're ever at the wedding of two lighthouse keepers, read it.

[C]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, sorry, a boat's coming in. Everyone hold.

[B]

Smash. Okay, so they're two Lighthouse keepers and they're in love.

[C]

The lighthouse keepers are in love or the lighthouses are in love?

[A]

Lighthouse keepers.

[C]

Keepers.

[B]

Does this have a twinge of tragedy to it, Eren? Is there some sadness behind this one?

[A]

Yeah, there's something wrong about their. They're husband and wife.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And there's something wrong.

[B]

And you think that's wrong.

[C]

The light's gone out in their love life?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, you're on the right track. They can't keep the flame ignited or something like that.

[A]

It's not to do with the.

[B]

They lost the spark. Okay.

[A]

It's not light related.

[B]

They were both hung up on an old flame.

[A]

I wish.

[C]

It's not light related. What else?

[B]

It's not light related.

[C]

Is it about boats? Is it about shore water? Is it about spiral staircases?

[B]

Well, Aaron added the part where they're in love, so the part that's important is that they're in love, but it doesn't have anything to do with lighthouses.

[A]

Well, they're married.

[C]

They're married.

[B]

They're married.

[A]

You can see they're husband and wife.

[B]

Rings, is it Rings, is it crashing? The ships.

[C]

Oh, they're in a relationship.

[A]

No. What is their.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

What do the ships crash into if the lighthouse light is off shore?

[C]

Rocks.

[B]

Shore.

[A]

Land.

[C]

If they have a rocky. They're on the rocks.

[A]

Yes. Their marriage is on the rocks.

[B]

Literally, their marriage is on the rocks.

[A]

I would like to see a scene. You guys are two lighthouse keepers and your marriage is on the rocks.

[C]

Is that a boat? I can't tell. Roger, is that a boat?

[B]

I don't know, Doug. Why don't you either wait till it gets closer or use the binoculars.

[C]

I don't want to use the binoculars. They hurt my eyes.

[B]

Okay, well, then I guess I'll just sacrifice my eyesight to use the binoculars. Doug. Is that what you want? Yes. It's a fucking boat. Nowhere near us, okay? And the lighthouse is on, so it knows that we're near.

[C]

Should I shove you down the stairs?

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

I should have shoved you down the stairs.

[B]

Well, thank you for saying it with your whole fucking chest, Doug. The first time that you've said something with your whole chest in a year.

[C]

The minute you go to sleep, the second you fall asleep, I'm gonna fucking smother you.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Smother you.

[B]

You have for a full marriage.

[C]

Happy anniversary.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

This was all a routine.

[B]

I completely forgot our anniversary. Oh, God. God does.

[C]

I love you so much.

[A]

Boat smashes into the rocks.

[C]

Help us I love when that happens.

[B]

I guess that's the foundation of our relationship.

[A]

We're dying.

[B]

It's so.

[C]

And we're psychos.

[B]

We killed the people who were supposed to be up here.

[A]

See, see, I knew it. I knew it.

[C]

Oh yeah, I knew it.

[B]

Lighthouse keeper seems like one of those old timey jobs that the only reason that you get it is because something like horrible happened in your life. Like either you did something or something was done to you. Where now you just have to be like, I'm the lighthouse guy. Like no one bothered me. I'm a hermit, basically.

[A]

I think that that kind of isolation would suit me.

[C]

Eren. Or have either of you been inside a lighthouse?

[A]

Yeah, a couple times.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. It's very fun.

[C]

I want to go.

[B]

I should have invited you. I don't know what. I don't. I did a lighthouse tour in Maine, I believe, or at least on the east Coast.

[C]

There's something crazy about. I think Michigan has the most lighthouses in the US or something. Some crazy thing where it's like you wouldn't think that, but it does.

[B]

That's interesting.

[A]

That's interesting.

[B]

I guess a large body of water, like Michigan's huge.

[C]

So Aaron, where have you been in a lighthouse. Is there some in several Massachusetts?

[A]

Yeah, Several in New England. There's one I went into. It must have been, I don't know, maybe Cape Cod. But I was in a lighthouse once, but it was very small. And so when you were climbing up it, like you're spinning so much, like it's like a spiral staircase. I remember being like genuinely a little motion sick and nauseous. When I got to the top, I.

[B]

Was like, it's crazy how small and tight and compact they build them. But when you get to the top you realize it's because the guys making cookies up there do not need a lot of space.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

Where did I go?

[A]

Where is it?

[C]

Went to an open house.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

Where are you now?

[C]

You went to a Keebler tree.

[B]

Aaron. Lighthouse though. It's an interesting job. Maybe not so much anymore, but like because it's equal parts like hermit but also huge responsibility. So it's like most of the time when you have like a away from society job, it's like a no responsibility. Like you're not just on your own, but this is like your important critical function to society. Plus no one to talk to.

[A]

Yeah, and that is one of those things I'd be good at. Did you hear about the lobster that bought a new car?

[B]

What kind of car?

[A]

Was it?

[B]

Oh, he got a lemon with a little bit of butter. And those types of cars.

[A]

That is an awesome answer.

[B]

Jpc.

[A]

I will point on the board for JPC what we're looking for. It's a specific car. Car.

[B]

And it was a lobster.

[C]

Lobster. Who bought a car? It's a mustard Crustacean wagon.

[A]

Yes. Adolf, that was amazing.

[C]

Beep beep beep. Punk Honk.

[A]

What a get.

[B]

You got that so quickly.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene.

[B]

Crustacean wagon.

[A]

Adol, you are our crab. Crabby crab dad. And we're going on a beach vacation. And we're driving you insane while you're driving your little crab kids around.

[C]

Okay, settle down back there. Settle down.

[B]

Are we there yet?

[A]

He touched my claw.

[C]

Let me switch.

[A]

He keeps bumping it when you're looking. Dad. He keeps bumping it when you're look. Not looking.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

Because your car is too small. And also, dad, you just keep switching lanes. You're just going from side to side.

[C]

Switch lanes.

[B]

You need to turn the car the other way.

[C]

Switch lanes. Switch lanes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is scary. All the other cars are human size. We're gonna get crushed.

[B]

Dad, I want to. I want a burger. Can we stop at Sandcastle? White Castle? Can we stop at sand? White Castle?

[C]

Okay, but one burger each. That's it. What do you want? Kids? Speak up.

[B]

Milk burger.

[C]

Milk burger. Let me get two milk burgers. Actually, make that three milk burgers.

[A]

And can I have the crab cakes with Aoli?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What's.

[C]

Hey, what's a crab cake? Lump crab meat. What is lump crab meat?

[A]

Dad, I want it.

[B]

I don't think either. I don't think we should be eating crab meat.

[A]

Why? It's so good.

[B]

Isn't that?

[A]

It's a summer.

[C]

All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna teach you a valuable lesson. There you go. Here's your crab cakes. And I want to.

[A]

Yum yum, yum.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

Haha. That was crab.

[A]

That was what?

[C]

That's crab. That's us.

[A]

You're the grown up here. You just let me eat.

[C]

Okay? I was just trying to. Did you listen?

[A]

You let me be a cannibal.

[C]

Hold on. I heard that humans will be like, don't barf in the car. Don't barf in the car.

[A]

Side to side. Moving side to side. Barfing.

[B]

I guess I don't. I guess I do. Do you like crabs barf? I don't like crabs barf. They must, right? Like every animal that has a digestive system must Occasionally get sick and barf. Right? That has.

[C]

I don't think anything that lives in the water barfs.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. And I have to think that.

[C]

I think that God had a plan.

[A]

Oh, Casey's typing.

[B]

This is the new do shark's fart. Maybe it wouldn't be as funny as I think it would be, but I do think, like, a compilation of animals. Barfing would be a pretty funny video.

[C]

All right, I am going to write a screenplay called Barf Shark, and we'll do a table read for my next patreon.

[A]

Okay, Great.

[B]

Perfect. Perfect.

[A]

Here's another one of those scene jokes. The doctor says, have your eyes ever been checked? And then Kyle says no. And then what's his explanation? No, what's he saying next?

[B]

This is the doctor's next line or Kyle's next line.

[C]

Kyle, have your eyes ever been checked? No.

[B]

But they've been in checkmate. Chest. They've been checked.

[C]

Going in blind? No. I'm a terrible pupil.

[B]

No.

[C]

Iris? No.

[A]

Not this time. Great answer, though. You guys are as good as this book.

[B]

My eyes have never been checked, but I fold. I fold my eyelids. I fold my eyelids.

[C]

I don't blink, so.

[B]

I don't blink, so. Sounds pretty good, dude.

[A]

Checked is an important word in this.

[C]

Checked.

[B]

Slovakia. Slovakia.

[C]

Boom shaboom. Boom shaboom. Have your eyes ever been checked?

[B]

You check someone in hockey, right? Isn't that like, pushing someone?

[A]

Checked is another. It's kind of a pattern.

[C]

Argyle R. Plaid, plaid, plaid.

[A]

Have your eyes ever been checked?

[C]

No.

[B]

No. He says, no.

[C]

Thank you for asking.

[B]

And then it's another pattern, Aaron, that we're.

[A]

No.

[B]

No.

[A]

This one I'll just tell you. Have your eyes ever been checked? No, they've always been blue. I didn't.

[B]

Kyle, you're at a doctor, Madam.

[A]

Ta da. You better shut up, okay?

[B]

If your mom hears that you've been acting this way at the doctor's office, she's gonna be fucking livid. Kyle. You know what? I'm so goddamn mad at Kyle, I think I need to take a little break to cool off.

[C]

B R E A K. No, but close. Aaron, jpc Good morning to you.

[B]

Good morning to you. Adol, my dear.

[C]

You know how I used to give my money to the squirrel in my backyard to tuck away for a winter's night?

[B]

Mm. Yeah.

[C]

Well, that squirrel ate all my money, so I've decided to use something a little more clever. Found.

[A]

Oh, thank goodness. Oh, my gosh, it was so stressful. When you're giving all your Money to that squirrel. This is so much better.

[B]

Yeah. Because that squirrel eats money. And Found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. No more trusting a squirrel who's a wild animal, who lives in a tree, who likes to eat money.

[A]

Yes. And it makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, getting revenge on that squirrel.

[C]

And unlike the squirrel, Found has automated things like tracking expenses, finding write offs, and budgeting for tax time. That squirrel last year cost me so much money during tax time.

[A]

Yeah, I know. That's a headache time of year. The tax time. Just go to one place that is going to have it completely under control, where all of your stuff is in one safe space.

[B]

And as a small business owner, AKA Tyrant, I love Found because it allows me to put all of those administrative tasks in one platform. I can get in, I can get out. Saves me time, helps me streamline things. It's a really great platform if you are running a business.

[C]

But don't take it from them. Take it from me.

[A]

This is nuts.

[C]

No, take back control of your business. Today, open a Found account for [e-mail] that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with Found.

[B]

Aaron, that is not a squirrel. That is Richard Kind in a squirrel costume. He is eating Adel's money.

[C]

I used to live with George Clooney.

[B]

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[A]

All right, guys, today's the day I'm going to launch my Aaron can do a backflip website. I'm very excited to debut it. Tattoo the world. I know I'm putting the horse before the cart a little bit, but I think the website's going to look so professional and I'm going to rise to the occasion.

[B]

Well, Aaron, it's going to look professional because you use Squarespace, which is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed. Online won't really help you succeed with a backflip, but you can succeed, succeed online for sure. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with the professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place.

[C]

And Aaron, I'm excited. Twofold. One, because People love watching other people get hurt. And two they can watch you get hurt. Aaron, with videos, Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos.

[B]

Create.

[C]

Create stunning video libraries of you falling and hurting yourself while trying to do a backflip.

[A]

Doing a perfect backflip on the first try.

[C]

And even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and Aaron hurting herself or doing a backflip.

[A]

Perfect on the first try. You know what guys? I'm going to get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Which is people who want to see me do a perfect backflip on the first try.

[B]

And Aaron, with Squarespace you even have the ability to use their donations feature. You can fundraise directly on your website and grow your impact with built in donation tools. Say you really, really really hurt yourself and you have to raise a lot of money for medical bills to get like a new back. On several knees you can create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time or recurring contributions and engage supporters. With built in email campaigns and marketing tools you can connect community and inspire more people to support your cause. Which I assume is recovery from a life and career ending.

[A]

Beginning starting launching Backfliiii.

[B]

So head to squarespace.com riddle for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[C]

Whoa. She did it. She actually did it.

[A]

I made a Squarespace website. Guys, I bet you've noticed that I'm super confident now. It's all kind of turned around for me. I keep getting compliments on my cashmere oversized V neck sweater.

[C]

Whoa. Aaron. Yeah? Did you get taller?

[A]

No, I'm just wearing my favorite brown Mongolian cashmere oversized V neck wear I got from Quince. I get. No, no, no.

[B]

What the heck?

[A]

I bet you thought this cost an arm and a leg. It did not. It did not.

[B]

Oh, you got turned inside out?

[A]

No, I'm wearing a really cute sweater from Quints.

[C]

Oh, we can see your bones.

[A]

Huh? That's a different thing. We'll talk about that after. Quince has the everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season. The list goes on.

[B]

Yeah. And plus, doesn't quints only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production? I think I remember knowing that about Quint.

[A]

Yeah, Just quality clothing. I also have a raincoat from them that is so good. It's the type of piece that you're gonna keep for years and years and years.

[B]

I got a cable knit sweater from Quince and I kid you not, it is the only thing that I have ever followed the directions on to hand wash everything else that I own. I'm like, it says hand wash, but I'm not hand washing this. This is. It's so nice that I'm like, I must hand wash this. This is a nice sweater.

[C]

What I've discovered is since buying items from Quince, I just collect a few very nice items. And it's about quality over quantity. I used to have like 40 different types of jackets and I would just have two nice ones from quints.

[B]

And.

[C]

And they pair well with everything.

[B]

Okay, so here's the deal.

[A]

I also love their home stuff.

[B]

Their home stuff is amazing. If you don't want to get your bones turned absolutely inside out, like was, I assume is what happens to Aaron.

[C]

We'll talk about that later.

[A]

I think that's just my body.

[B]

Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.comriddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. A that's quint.com riddle free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com riddle this one's on me, guys.

[A]

I did break my arm and didn't notice. No problem at all.

[C]

But you look good doing it.

[A]

I know. Give me a high five. Heel. Heel. I hit my protein goals for the day. Can you believe it?

[B]

Yeah, I don't believe it. How did you do it?

[A]

Well, we're one month into 2026. I know what you're thinking, Erin. You're abandoning all your goals. No, I'm not. I'm drinking Huel.

[B]

Can she read my mind? How did she know I was thinking that about her goals? Wait, Aaron, you're using Huel? Are you using the black edition? Ready to drink?

[A]

You better believe it. 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins, plus minerals. No artificial sweeteners, colors, or flavors. Gluten free beer. Ne. Thank you. Add on the electric guitar for me. Oh, I guess you're. Oh, it gets so expensive. So no under $5 per meal. A complete meal you can literally grab and go. Makes it easy to keep My goals going and a huh, high five for you.

[B]

And these things are truly ready to drink. I keep them in my downstairs fridge. So right after I'm done with a workout I can get a little like protein power in me. And it's, it's quick, it's easy. And then I can like go upstairs and be back to being a dad. It's so exhausting. It's so exhausting at all times. It's so, it's so tiring.

[C]

And I'll say as someone who typically wakes up at 3pm A lot of times breakfast isn't an option for me. A lot of places say, my dude, it's almost dinner time. So if I'm at home I can just make myself some Huel and I get energized for the rest of my day. Which of course my day goes from 3pm till 6am and the ready to.

[B]

Drink stuff is great. But also I love the black edition powder. It is so much more customizable. You can add it to like even water if you want to add it to water, shake it up, drink it, it's great on the go.

[A]

It's great. Fruit, nut butter, make a smoothie, do a backflip. Yeah, he'll Aaron.

[B]

No.

[C]

But don't take it from them, take it from me. Huel Brenner limited time offer. Get Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15 off online with my code [e-mail] Riddle 15 new customers only. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show.

[B]

And guys, make sure you do the post checkout survey and tell them, hey Riddle, Riddle sent you. Because if you don't tell them that we sent you, we basically didn't do anything.

[A]

I did a backflip.

[B]

No you didn't.

[A]

And I landed it because I can and you didn't.

[B]

Hey Aaron Adol. Lovely. Good to see you. Guys actually really do not even have time right now. I got a jet. I have to, I have to go. I don't have time to kind of small talk or any of that. I'm gonna live underwater for a week.

[A]

What?

[C]

Huh? We all assumed this was coming.

[B]

I guess I'm just kind of non stop back to back this entire week. So I'm going to live underwater. It's just gonna save me a lot of time because I'll be underwater instead of on land. So I'll be breathing the water instead of the air.

[A]

Okay, well there's better ways to sort of save time. I feel like you're like eating a ton like Cooking so much for dinner and going grocery shopping and doing this whole rigmarole. We could cut that out for you. You could use Tempo.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta use Tempo. Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted, dietitian approved meals right to your door. Jpc.

[B]

Okay, but let me guess. These meals are gonna be sopping wet because I am living in the water or that's probably more of me living in the water issue than the meals issue, right?

[A]

No, they're dry. And each meal is perfectly proportioned for lunch, dinner, and ready in just two minutes. That means real food, real fast. It's not like a sad desk lunch or drive through or stuff that you're throwing together from your sad refrigerator.

[B]

Okay, well, can it beat the variety that I'm going to get under the sea? Because I'll be eating sand. Barnacles. Mostly just sand and barnacles. Does Tempo have those kinds of options?

[A]

Yeah, they got 20 new recipes each week made from nutrient rich ingredients. Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits so you don't have to eat sand and jpc.

[C]

If I may, some of my recent favorites from Tempo. Italian sausage bolognese, cavatapi with peas and zucchini. Okay, my mouth is watering. And I've also very much enjoyed their spicy buffalo chicken pasta with roasted cauliflower and sweet potatoes.

[B]

Wow, that sounds pretty good. But the other day I almost ate a crab. He actually ate more of me than I ate of him. Anyway, for a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to Tempo meals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box. Tempomeals.com riddle rules and restrictions may apply.

[C]

But don't take it from us. Take it from Knifey the Knife, who's a chef.

[A]

Bonjour. It's too late to introduce Knifey. That's too late. Maybe next time.

[B]

Maybe next time for Knifey. Do you guys ever get the intrusive thought when you're at an eye doctor's office when they're like, read out these letters to just, just read out random letters. Just do confidently and just go like, yeah, OXP1, Z3, just. And just look at the document.

[A]

It's like the picture of the red house.

[C]

Whenever they do the number one or number two, one or two crazy. I always try and go, whatever makes sense.

[A]

Whatever works for you.

[B]

I did that once with a hearing test when I was in like grade school because they were like, raise your hand when you hear the tone. And I remember Sitting there with the ear things on and the tone going. I could hear it. Didn't raise my hand. They make the tone louder. Don't raise my hand. I remember the tone being so loud that it was, like, audible outside of the headphones. Like, I could not only hear it in the headphones, I could hear it outside the headphones as well. I'm still, like, looking at him and I was like, is the tone. Are we still doing the test? Are we still doing the test?

[C]

I'm sorry to say your son is mega deaf.

[B]

The band.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. And just to be a little stinker.

[C]

Classic bugs. Buddy move.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You guys, some of these jokes.

[B]

Aaron's putting that in quotes.

[A]

Don't make any sense. And some of them are crazy.

[B]

Let's. Aaron, let's. Maybe at first glance, you don't, like, get the joke, but maybe we can help do one of the ones that doesn't make any sense.

[A]

Help me with this one.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

What's the best way to avoid falling hair?

[C]

To pay the toll.

[B]

Yes, to pay.

[C]

What's the best way to avoid falling hair?

[A]

See, that makes sense.

[C]

Follicle fall.

[B]

Oh, fall a coal. Where have all the cowboys gone?

[A]

I think my brain is just not working.

[B]

What's. What is. Did Adol get it? Is it follicle related?

[A]

No.

[C]

Can you read it one more time?

[A]

What's the best way to avoid falling hair?

[B]

Don't be under it. Sweep it up. Wisp hair.

[C]

Best way to avoid falling hair. An umbrel hair.

[B]

An umbrell hair.

[A]

It's jump out of the way.

[B]

That kind of. That kind of. Well, I think it's probably like, don't be under it. Like, it's the same thing. It's like you think it's the subversion of. You think it's going to be a pun, but really it's just like, move. Like, the best way to avoid it is to get out of the way.

[C]

A man walks into a bar. The second man ducks or whatever his hair spelled. H A, I, R. Yeah. Okay, well.

[A]

Okay, here's another one. Teacher. My goodness, Amy, you've been burping all morning.

[B]

So inappropriate.

[A]

And then Amy says, which is for sure, a teacher bullying poor Amy.

[B]

Also, the teacher's not offering any help or advice. It's not like, you know, drink some water with your, like, pinch your nose shut or something. It's just like, amy, you seem to be a disgusting little bitch. That teacher should be fired.

[A]

All right, I'll make a note.

[C]

Amy, Teacher. Amy, you seem to be burping all morning. Is that what it was?

[A]

Burping all morning? It's because Amy ate a specific breakfast food. That is a pun.

[C]

Belch.

[B]

Belgian waffles.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Belgium. You ate some Belgium waffles?

[A]

I'd like to see a scene. Jesus Adol. You are Amy's teacher in gpc. You are Amy's dad, who set up a meeting to complain.

[B]

It seems like you've been. Look, I don't want to accuse you. I know your job is hard, but from what Amy has told me, she's been singled out in class.

[C]

Yes, but for good reason.

[B]

Oh, okay. Well, I didn't expect that. What's the reason?

[C]

She's been burping and farting like a nasty little monster. Like non stop. Like it's sort of. Even when she's talking, she's burping while talking, which is sort of. Sort of impressive, but also heinous. And then as she kind of walks throughout the hall, she farts so much that she gets sort of little boosts. You know, in Mario Kart, when you press gas at the right time when the countdown's going to. Yeah, you get sort of like that where she just kind of like she farts in a way that propels her forward. It's really disgusting.

[B]

Well, okay, I know Amy's new to this, you know, to your classroom, to this school. I thought that, you know, when I notified the school that the front office would. Would notify you, but Amy has a. Yes, that's a reason why she's doing all of these things. Amy is not my blood daughter. About 12 years ago, I guess, Jim Carrey was in a really dark place and he thought he.

[C]

Oh, 13 or whatever.

[B]

The number. Yeah, the number. 23.

[C]

23. Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, he thought he was losing it. He thought he didn't have what it took anymore, so he engaged in a very expensive cloning procedure to make perfect clones of himself. Amy is. Oh, my God, one of those clones.

[C]

This makes so much sense because anytime she comes out of a room, she waves her arm emphatically behind her and says, do not go in there.

[B]

Do not go in there. Yes. That is why Amy is burping and farting. And it's actually quite funny if you think about it in terms of who her father is. It's actually quite funny.

[C]

I think it's funny if I'm watching it on a screen, but.

[A]

Alrighty then. Are we good to go, dad?

[C]

Oh, hey. Hey, kiddo.

[B]

Hey, Amy. Yep, we're almost ready to go. We are almost ready.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna go back to waiting in the car.

[C]

It's not a Jim Carrey line.

[B]

Amy. Amy. Amy, come back in. Amy. Do you want to try that one more time? What are you gonna be going to do?

[C]

Are you going?

[A]

I'm going. I'm just gonna go sit in the car.

[C]

Dad, it's not a Jim Carrey quote. I don't believe that's.

[B]

Remember who you are and say one more time something that you're going. Just a line for exiting the room. Amy, please, I beg of you.

[C]

If she can do it, I'll give her A's for the rest of the semester.

[A]

Good after. Good morning, good afternoon, and if I don't see ya.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

My life is a prison. My body is a prison. I'm exhausted. I don't have the calories to act like this every day.

[B]

Don't do stuff from number 23, Amy. No one knows that movie.

[A]

I was from the Truman show, dad. I'm a part of every part of him.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Even his dramatic words I said already then when I came in.

[C]

Sure you did, Amy. Sure you did. Oh, is that the most annoying sound in the world?

[A]

Kill me. I can't lie. My heart's so super strong because of the Grinch.

[B]

That's not even a line for the movie. You could say the pit is blue or something. That classic line from liar, Liar. I can't lie.

[C]

I can't lie.

[A]

All right, first fisherman says, is this a good lake for a fish? And the second fisherman says.

[B]

Yes. Is this a good lake? Is this a good lake for a fish?

[C]

No, because we're here catching.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Not if we're here catching.

[A]

Yeah, it's basically that. It must be. I can't get any of them to come out.

[B]

Oh. It feels kind of like the opposite. Like it's a good lake for a fish because if there is a fish in there, it's not being caught.

[A]

Exactly. I'd like to see a scene.

[B]

It was like one step further than I would have gone with that joke.

[A]

Oh, okay. That's a compliment to the good people over here at Riddle.

[C]

Cool. Can I call for a scene?

[A]

Yeah, of course. There's four people who wrote this book.

[C]

Aaron, I'd like you to be a worm on a hook.

[A]

Great.

[C]

And jpc, you're a fish who has caught sight of this worm and is figuring out what to do.

[B]

Oh, my. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Hey, do you need help? Holy shit.

[A]

Don't pull it out because I'm gonna bleed out. Pull it up.

[B]

I. I Wouldn't be able to anyway. I don't, I, I'm not, I can't. You're.

[A]

Call the worm doctor. Call the worm doctor.

[B]

I, I, I, I'm so sorry. I don't know if you don't, if you don't know where you are, but this is the water. There's no, there's no worm doctors in the water.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Do you have any fish doctors? Anyone? Really?

[B]

Yeah, we, we do, but I just, I just don't think a fish doctor will be able to. You're really pierced on that thing.

[A]

Wow. Good thing I'm with someone with a terrible attitude when I'm going through a medical emergency. Great. Someone who's just throwing in the towel on me.

[C]

How?

[B]

Hey, I'm trying to be a realist here, but I have to tell you, this does not look survivable for you.

[A]

You think I don't know that?

[B]

Is there someone, Is there a message I can send out? Is there someone that I could please.

[A]

Tell my wife I didn't love her at all?

[B]

I, I'm sorry, man. I'm not gonna do that.

[A]

Will you tell her that I actually loved Emily the whole time? She was right. She was right that I did love Emily the whole time.

[B]

It's. I'm a fish from the water, you're an earth from the land. It's just such a big imposition for me.

[A]

Emily's my ex. Emily's my ex. She's the one that got away.

[B]

Just to go all the way to your wife to tell her that feels, like, so fucking fun. It just feels cruel, but, like, you'll be dead and it would be, like, a huge hassle for me.

[A]

Tell my wife.

[C]

Oh, my God. How did he die?

[B]

Water. Water.

[A]

Man. God.

[B]

Yeah, because I don't think worms can't breathe in the water, so. Man, that's the torture of, like, being drawn and quartered. Yeah.

[C]

Being put on the thing and drowned.

[A]

If that philosophy of you, when you die, you have to live through all the suffering you cause. Yeah, but poor fishermen are about to have a horrible post death experience.

[B]

Guys, we only do this to the worst of the worst. Worms. This isn't one of those things where we just say it's only to get the worst of the ones out of here. And then we just go after all the worms.

[A]

Yeah, they say, not that thing.

[B]

They say, no, no, no.

[A]

And then you run out of bad worms.

[B]

These are bad worms, you guys.

[A]

I just realized that if that's true, then we have to listen to probably every episode of hay. Riddle, riddle. Hundreds of thousands of times. Get to, get to, get to. Okay, okay. All right. Let's actually be serious, you guys.

[B]

Let's really get our head in the game here.

[C]

Let's buckle down.

[A]

Oh, I was going to do a listener submitted riddle, but I don't know. Will I have time to do this?

[B]

Ah, figure it out on the show. Oh, that's what you're doing?

[A]

Yes, yes. Okay, great. Yeah, we got time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

These are from Milo. They them. And we can use their name. Hey.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Clue crew. Probably Aaron. I work at the Huntington Library, and we have several old ass books of puns and riddles in our collection. And so these riddles are from 1870, if you can believe it.

[C]

Ooh, I remember those riddles like yesterday.

[A]

Ooh. Old man puzzles. The original old man puzzles. He's here. He came.

[B]

Aaron, I'm sorry. 1870 is. Is military time. It just means 7:10pm oh, okay. Yeah.

[A]

Well, great. What musical instrument invites you to fish?

[C]

Whoa. Back to back fishing riddles.

[A]

That's amazing.

[C]

What musical instrument invites you to fish?

[B]

A tray. Anastasio invites the type of fish. Fish.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The percussive.

[C]

It's percussive. The drum. Fish. The timp. The timpani.

[B]

The timpani.

[C]

The cymbal.

[B]

Timpani. Haddish.

[C]

The snare.

[B]

It's a percussion instrument that invites you to fish. Something with a line.

[C]

The maracas.

[A]

No, it's a Spanish. They're used in Spanish, Greek, Italian, Mexican, Portuguese, Brazilian culture.

[B]

Marimba.

[C]

Marimba. My roomba.

[A]

They're a little clicky. I love the sound of these. They're super satisfying. Clicky little.

[C]

Clicky little.

[B]

The steel drums.

[C]

Oh, the. Yeah. Castanets.

[A]

Castanet. You cast.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Isn't that great?

[C]

Oh, my gosh. You. Castanet. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

Castanets. Okay.

[A]

What's the difference between a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy?

[C]

There's a lot. There's a lot that's different.

[B]

One's. A fisherman and a lazy schoolboy.

[C]

One does an audition for a theater and one simply does not cast. Get cast.

[B]

Yeah, get cast. Something about getting cast. No, no.

[A]

They're like switching sounds at the beginning of words.

[B]

Oh, okay. Is cast close.

[A]

Baits his hook and the other hooks his bait.

[C]

One baits his hook and the other one hates his book.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

How do we know that the dove is a very cautious little deer.

[B]

That the dove is a very cautious little deer?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doe eyed. Doe eyed.

[C]

A dove is a cautious little deer.

[A]

This one's impossible to Get.

[C]

Because if you remove the V, it's a doe.

[A]

No, it has nothing to do with like. I think they just mean, like, deer is not literal. It's like, oh, a sweet little O.

[C]

D E, A, R. Yeah. How do we know the dove is a cautious little deer?

[A]

Or at least binding his business?

[C]

Peace of mind. Peace of mind.

[B]

Jesus. That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Because he minds his own business.

[B]

Ps and q's.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Ps and. But it's a dove.

[B]

Coos, Coos Ooh.

[A]

Adel. Good dove sound.

[C]

I didn't make a dove sound. What are you talking about?

[A]

There's a dove on our zoom.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

And guys, this next riddle. And I'm gonna do the rest of these later, Milo, thank you so much. But this next riddle is. Am I willing to say this? Yes. This is my fingers.

[B]

Ready?

[A]

This is, I think, my favorite riddle we've ever had on the shelf.

[C]

Oh, holy shit. Aaron. Is this. Are you being for real?

[A]

I'm being for real. This might be the only time I've ever laughed out loud.

[C]

Holy shit. Okay, then you have to let us get this. You can't give us the answer.

[A]

Adol. I'm telling you, if with a thousand years this would be impossible to get because it's very bizarre. It's an insane answer.

[B]

Is this a riddle or is this a skateboard fail compilation? Because those are the only two things in this world that I know could make Aaron laugh out loud.

[A]

Buddy. You'll see. What's the difference between a mouse and a young lady?

[B]

And these are still from 7:10pm yes.

[A]

You guys, this is what's the difference.

[C]

Between a mouse and a young lady. Is this another one where we switch from the 1870s?

[A]

This is important.

[C]

I think you'll never find a mouse in a barn with a boy.

[A]

Kind of. Kind of. Honestly.

[B]

The difference between a mouse and a young lady.

[C]

A young lady always something somethings.

[A]

Yeah. One wishes to blank the other one.

[C]

Wishes to chit ease and the other one wishes to eat cheese.

[B]

One wishes to be wed and the other one makes me wet my bed.

[C]

One wants to make life better and the other one wants his wife to be cheddar.

[A]

Keep going, guys, you're on roll.

[C]

One of them find a cheddar man.

[B]

One of them you catch in a trap and the other one traps you for life.

[A]

You guys are basically getting it.

[C]

Give us a hint, Aaron. Give us a hint.

[A]

No, you're basically.

[B]

Okay, hold on. We can get this. We can get this.

[A]

Cheese is 1/2 of it. You guys literally cannot get this. I'm so sorry, but you can't get this.

[C]

Is it like an old timey term of some sort of weird 23 skidoo shit?

[A]

No. Kind of. I mean, I guess, kind of.

[B]

One of them eats your cheese and the other one spins your cheddar.

[A]

One of them. They use the word harm.

[B]

What?

[A]

So I'll give you the mouse side of it. One wishes to harm the cheese. The mouse. The other wishes.

[B]

Mouse wishes to harm the cheese, the.

[C]

Other one wishes to charm.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

The he's.

[A]

The he's.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Okay, you want to see a suit?

[A]

Hold on, let me read it all the way through. One wishes to harm the cheese, the other wishes to charm the he's.

[B]

That is such a stretch. Harm the cheese.

[C]

I do want to see a scene.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Aaron, you're a young mouse in the 1870s and you are trying to pass as a young lady charming some schoolboys.

[A]

Yoo hoo. Boys, boys, boys. Throw handkerchief.

[C]

Oh, that knocked in the head.

[B]

Edward, Edward, I think she's talking to us.

[A]

Oh, boys, boys. Would any of you like to give me a spin around town? Perhaps walk me around the Riviera with my parasol?

[C]

Whoa. That's the tiniest little lady I've ever seen.

[A]

Maybe perhaps kiss my hand and then introduce me to your father.

[B]

We wouldn't because we're normal sized young men. But we have a friend that might be interested in it.

[A]

Ooh, is he rich? I swear I'm worth more than my dowry implies.

[C]

He's rich in personality.

[B]

He's not rich per se, but he drives a brand new red sports car.

[A]

Are you trying to set me up with Stuart Little? I don't want to be with him enough.

[B]

Why not? He's your son. Get in, bitch.

[A]

I'm not falling for this again, Stuart. Fuck you. Stuart, get in. No. You're a whore.

[B]

What time.

[A]

You're a whore.

[C]

Whore pushes up sunglasses. Oh yeah.

[A]

You doing little donuts.

[C]

Doing little donuts.

[A]

You love bomb me. You tell me you love me and then you drop me like it's nothing and the next thing I know, you're on a date.

[B]

Ooh, is that Stuart Little? I'll get in your car, big boy.

[A]

Full sized woman gets into a little.

[C]

Oh, you're crushing the car.

[B]

You're crushing the car.

[A]

Get out.

[C]

Get out.

[A]

Get out.

[B]

Get out. Drive me St.

[A]

Casey. Do we have any voicemail? Names attend the tale of Sho.

[B]

She'll steal your wife that mad at you. She first appeared on a Joe Cruise Went after Mariah with nothing to lose. Did Beverly shoo bedoo now leave your message for jpc.

[A]

Swing your razor. I literally got goosebumps.

[B]

Unbelievable. That was a some sort of sweetie Todd parody from Julia Megan Sullivan. If you want to submit a voicemail theme, make it 30 seconds or less and send it to hrrpodcastmail.com thank you Julia for submitting.

[A]

I loved that. Thank you so much. Hey clue crew. I'm hoping to get your perspectives on a situation with my relatives. I'm on a family group chat with an aunt and uncle and a few days ago my aunt posted pictures of some flowers in her garden. Right after my uncle posted a multi paragraph rant on morality and asked people to debate him. No one has responded. So my questions are one, how would you respond? And two, how does your family get ready for Thanksgiving? Love the show. Thanks, bye. Incredible dude, you know, oh, that uncle is having an existential crisis. He is spiraling the response.

[B]

I would go chaos option. Okay, I'm not responding to the uncle, obviously I'm responding to the aunt. Like I'm hitting reply on the aunt's message which is just a nice picture of flowers and and I'm putting these flowers suck, dumbass.

[A]

Yeah, with outright hostility you start debating the flowers.

[B]

Outright hostility towards the aunt's flower picture? Nothing. Towards the uncle's morality rant.

[C]

That is wild to demand that your family debate you on morality.

[B]

Here's the thing. This person, I don't think that this person said. They said it was an uncle and an aunt, Right? Did they say that they were a married couple? No. So this could be an uncle and a different aunt, right? Like not yet. That's awesome.

[C]

Mom's brother, sister.

[A]

Oh, I don't know what I'd do. Throw your phone into a river. I don't know. I would respond to the flowers honestly. Yeah, I'd at least heart the pictures of the flowers. Heart em all, emphasize the message and don't respond or emojis.

[B]

Just throw a heart react on every one of the messages. That's so confusing because you're like I love it all. I love the crazy shit my uncle said. I love the beautiful pictures my aunt sent.

[A]

Oh, what about the gif of the monkey? That monkey puppet? That's like side eyeing. That's like awkward side eyeing. I think that'll work in my family. My arm of the family does hors d' oeuvres for Thanksgiving so we help my mom with that. That's how we prepare adol.

[C]

What I do to prepare For Thanksgiving. I don't really see family during Thanksgiving, so I don't do anything to prepare.

[B]

I do friendsgiving so we usually make a dish. I think what did I do this year? This year? Oh, this year we made deviled eggs. Or I guess last year, last Thanksgiving we made deviled eggs. But I also think that in terms of the what's going on in your specific family, I don't think you ever need to engage anyone in debate if they are not presenting good faith arguments. And I do think if people are presenting bad faith arguments, you can respond in kind with bad faith arguments. So I would say if your uncle is one of these people who like doesn't really understand what trolling is, you could just troll him for as long as possible with bad faith responses to his argument. And I think that that would be very funny to watch but also it would ruin, you know, ruin the piece of the group chat. So maybe it's funnier to post an out of context gif like don't do one that's like, don't do like Michael Jackson eating the popcorn or whatever. Just like post a GIF of like Captain Planet, like coming up with some sludge or something. Like something that's like a total non sequitur.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

Hey, but good luck to you and if you have a question or a comment or some sort of voicemail that you want to leave for us, what is it? 805 Riddle 1 I think is the number. Make it 30 seconds or less. You could get it featured on the show. Adol, do you have anything that you would like to plug?

[C]

I don't think so. Aaron, do you have anything?

[A]

Check out Gumshoes and Dragons over on our Patreon. Anthony and I might be rewatching Once Upon a Time on ABC if anyone remembers that show and talking about it. So if you want to check that out, that is maybe over there. Jpc, anything to plug or review to read?

[B]

We cannot say for sure. Yeah, let's read a review. You want to get a five star review featured on the show? Just write one, send it to wherever you leave reviews and I might read it Today I'm reading Not for human consumption by Mach24. Would not recommend this product to anyone. It upset my stomach and gave me the same effect as I would have prepped for a colonoscopy. I've used the bathroom about 20 times over the past four hours. Every time I think I'm done, I get the call. I have used a legit full roll of TP with no signs of stopping anytime soon. Also, I tested my blood sugar after eating the gummies and it did spike me. Save your money and your b hole. Do not ingest these gummies unless you need an alternative to traditional laxatives. And then it just says, hey, we're in a vertical question mark. Love it. I think that is, I think that is one of those reviews for those like Haribou gummies.

[C]

I want to go back slightly and say send that word for word to your uncle.

[A]

Yeah, there we go. Adol, you're genius.

[B]

Send the Amazon review for the gummies that people think are laxatives to your uncle.

[A]

Well, guys, I'm on my way to harm some cheese or charm some he's so I'll catch you on the inside. Get in, bitch.

[B]

Stewart.

[A]

You wanna ride Stewart?

[B]

Created by Adol Refy starring Aaron Keenan and John. I'm Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing and Marty Parent did the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there Jims and Le. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's a deep dive into the author of the Reacher books, Lee Child. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] HaveriteElvertel by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[A]

That was a Headgum Podcast. Hi, I'm Drew Afualo. And I'm Dason Afualo. And we host the Headgum podcast two Idiot Girls. Each episode we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating stories, maybe a really bad wedgie you had once, or even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.