#400: A Most Puzzling Season

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle #400: A Most Puzzling Season

Podcast: Hey Riddle Riddle by Headgum
Release Date: March 18, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai (A), Erin Keif (B), John Patrick Coan (C)
Theme: Bridgerton-Inspired Regency Riddle Competition

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Episode Overview

To celebrate their 400th episode, Adal, Erin, and JPC stage an elaborate Regency-era parody heavily inspired by Bridgerton. The trio embraces characters straight out of high-society London: an imperious Queen, two absurdly exaggerated suitors (Lord Percival Thistlewick and Viscount Barnaby Shifty-Thorp), and the elusive diamond of the season, Ms. Arabella Riddleslark. The courtship battle is settled not by dance or duel, but by riddles and wordplay—embroidered with improv, comedic repartee, and relentless innuendo.

Listeners experience a blend of competitive puzzling, raunchy banter, and meta-commentary on the podcast's longevity, all given a tongue-in-cheek period drama patina.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Grand Regency-Style Introduction (00:01)

• The episode opens with a Bridgerton-esque narration ("I am your narrator, the anonymous lady Puzzledown…").
• The Queen explains the rules: Suitors win favor with Ms. Riddleslark and the Queen by solving riddles and exhibiting "showmanship, wit, and manners."
• The court’s most dazzling debutante, Ms. Arabella Riddleslark, is at the center of the competition.

2. Meet the Suitors: Outlandish Character Work (03:44)

• Lord Percival Thistlewick (Erin/ B): Earnest, devastatingly handsome, Colin Firth lookalike, with manufactured humility and exaggerated romantic gestures.
  • Quote: “I apologize for being soaking wet. I stepped off the carriage. I saw a young child… unstuck them and gave them a fortune…” (05:05)
• Viscount Barnaby Shifty-Thorp (JPC/ C): The rakish, darkly charming Clive Owen "bad boy" archetype.
  • Quote: “I was hunting the most dangerous game... Years ago, I taught a deer how to duel with a blade...” (08:08)

3. Banter, Insults, and the Scoring System (11:00)

• The hosts mix Regency etiquette with aggressively modern slang and wordplay.
• Points for correct answers, showmanship, witty reasoning; points removed for scandalous comments.
• “Cunting in the huntrysid’ is the new merch” is coined after a particularly egregious pun. (12:42)

4. Regency Riddles Round One

(Sample riddles and solutions with comedic asides)

• Rainbow: “My first wet and wild to create new life… My hole can lead to pots of gold." (14:07)
  • Solved quickly; points awarded
• Friendship: “My first I would venture…” (16:02-17:39)
• Lemonade: “My first is somewhat soft and yellow…” (18:17-19:38)
  • Quote: “A horse that fucks your mom?” – C, lampooning Regency literalism (18:45)
• Nameless: A difficult one with a French frog named “Franck” making an appearance (21:03)

5. Rapid-Fire Wordplay & Scandal

Abundant puns, innuendos, and Regency-breakdowns:

• Handsome: “My first is what a clock eternally shows. My second is less than many…” (41:27)
• The hosts continually crack up about fingering in carriages and Bridgerton plot points.
  • Quote: "Fingers don't have faces is the funniest thing you’ve said on the episode." – A (46:40)

6. Competitive Humming (“Bridgerton Strings” Song Challenge) (45:24)

• Each suitor hums a “period string quartet” version of a contemporary song for the Queen to guess.
  • Songs include “Zombie Nation” (B: 48:28), which the Queen struggles to identify.
  • The bit highlights comedic musicality, “Beastie Boys” style battle bars, and further improv.

7. Letter-Deduction Riddles (Exhaustion Sets In) (52:09)

• The group attempts more complex riddles where clues point to letters in words:
  • February: (53:22) — "My first is in flour but not in rye..."
  • Ballroom: (54:41) — "My first is in bloom but not in moth..."
  • Chaperone: (56:49)
• The hosts complain about the complexity and time these riddles take, to comedic effect.

8. Regency Trivia Lightning Round (58:50)

• Multiple choice questions about Regency society customs, with jokes about historical contraception, “high waisted dresses for pregnancy,” and the popularity of tea.
  • Notable moment: “Cherry Pepsi. The only beverage to ever become wild.” – C, lampooning historical inaccuracy (62:19)

9. Finale: Rap Battles & Winner’s Debate (63:09)

• Both suitors plead their cases with period-rap battles, escalating into more rhyming and wordplay.
  • Quote: “My name is Percival Thistle Rick, you can probably see my dick, or at least the outline of my balls.” – B (63:49)
• The final decision is left to Ms. Arabella Riddleslark:
  • She chooses Lord Percival for being “four-fingering” (i.e., best at innuendo and presumably, fingering).

10. Reflection and Thank Yous (67:00–68:49)

• The Queen reflects on 400 episodes and offers gratitude, with heavy Bridgerton references and continued playful debate over who’s most deserving.
• In-jokes about the show's long-standing traditions and quirks close out the content.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• A (Queen), on point systems: “I can award one for favor for manners or minus one for scandal if you are out of line or say anything disgusting." (11:25)
• B, punning: “Cunting in the hunt side is the new merch.” (12:42)
• A: “My first is wet and wild to create new life…” (14:07)
• C, on roleplay: “Normally for a glove smack like that, I’d have to pay two pittance down at the local dock. But Lord Thistlewick, from you, I’ll take it for free.” (13:53)
• A, metacommentary: “When I play heads up at any sort of family gathering or party, I’m good at the hum ons… I can do the humming.” (44:49)
• C, recognizing Bridgerton's raciness: “Why so much fingering on this show?... Eventually you gotta grow up sometime.” (58:02)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 00:01–03:41: Dramatic Regency setup and character introductions
• 03:41–13:00: Meet the suitors & rules explanation, banter
• 14:07–16:00: First riddles (rainbow, friendship)
• 18:17–20:01: Lemonade riddle and related asides
• 23:36–24:29: “Conundrum” riddle, pun cascades
• 41:00–43:00: “Handsome” riddle, war rumors amidst riddles
• 45:24–47:11: Humming competition (“Bridgerton Strings”)
• 52:09–57:19: Exhaustive letter riddles (Feb, Ballroom, Chaperone)
• 58:50–62:56: Regency trivia round
• 63:09–65:35: Battle-rap style appeals, musical finale
• 67:12–68:49: Reflection, final speech, winner chosen

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Tone and Style

The language throughout is equal parts elaborate Regency cosplay and lowbrow, contemporary comedy. Host improvisation, flirtation, and competitive mischief are at an all-time high, reflecting both affection for the Bridgerton parody and for their own enduring show.

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For New Listeners

• The riddles are only half the fun: much of the episode’s joy is in wild improvisation, recurring in-jokes (“fingering,” “cunting in the countryside”), and affectionate self-mockery.
• It’s a showcase for the chemistry among Adal, Erin, and JPC: part puzzle-solving, part lovingly-chaotic group mind.
• Deep cut references to both Bridgerton and Hey Riddle Riddle’s own history abound, but the humor stands strong even for the uninitiated.

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Summary

Episode #400 is a jubilant, lascivious romp through Regency England via the lens of three unhinged improvisers—celebrating the podcast’s longevity and signature blend of riddles and ridiculousness. It’s both an homage and a roast: of period drama, of riddle contests, of each other, and of the show’s own history. Whether you love riddles, wordplay, or just delightfully over-the-top comedy, this is a landmark episode worth a listen.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgun podcast. Dearest gentle listener, welcome back to the ton for the 400th time. A place where wealth is inherited, feelings are repressed, and silence is often mistaken for yearning. I am your narrator, the anonymous lady puzzledown. This is a world governed not by laws, but by glances. Not by justice, but by reputation, not by love, but by the simmering horniness that can occasionally turn into marriages. Each year, society gathers for the season, A months long ritual in which young eligible singles are presented like decorative desserts while their elders watch closely, judging posture, prowess, prospects, and how well you're pulling off an unbuttoned, ruffled shirt. At the center of this ritual sits the queen, watchful, amused, and devastatingly honest. In a world built entirely on polite lies, it is she who names the seasoned diamond the debutante judged most dazzling, most admired, and most likely to get the most airtime. This year's diamond is Ms. Arabella Riddleslark, beloved for her wit, love of games, and classically beautiful face. Suitors have arrived, as they always do. All noble, all wealthy, and all eager to win her hand. Ordinarily, these gentlemen would compete through waltzes, duels, and boring conversations about the weather on the promenade. But this season, dear listener, the queen has grown bored. The courtship shall be decided not by dancing, by dowries, but by parlour, games, riddles, conundrums and mischief. Two gentlemen will compete for Ms. Riddlelock's hand. One shall reveal himself a hero, the other, something else entirely. Let the season begin. Everyone, please rise for your queen. My ton. It is ball season, which means it is once again time for ambition to masquerade as romance. Tonight, we'll do things differently. Two gentlemen will compete for the favor of our diamond. I will be watching. I will be judging. And I will be merciless. Ms. Riddlelock, please observe closely. And gentlemen, do try not to embarrass yourselves.

[B]

Now, you're the one who said it's boy all season.

[A]

Oh my gosh, did I? Oh, no. Oh, that. No problem. I can recover from that. People might forget Mr. Bimble's bum. Please introduce our two suitors. Now presenting, Lord Percival Thistlewick. Tall, earnest, clever, arrogant, with the looks to back it up. And the heartthrob of the ton. Not my type, but I totally get it. I mean, look at him. Wowy. Zowie. Now that I'm getting a better look, he's not. Not my type. He's from a rich family too. Colin Firth's looking motherfucker. Wait. Yup. Yes, he is my type. He's Gorgeous. Oh, man. Please give me a short speech. Lord Percival Thistlewick,

[B]

You're too kind. Thank you for the introduction. And, my queen, thank you for having me in the court.

[A]

Fourteen women faint, and a bird flies into the window trying to get closer to him.

[B]

I apologize for being soaking wet. I stepped off the carriage. I saw a young child who was in the mud, stuck. And I unstuck them and gave them a fortune so they could start their own. Their own sort of lineage in the countryside.

[A]

But that does not explain why you are soaking wet to the bone. Can see through your white ruffled shirt.

[B]

Oh, the rain.

[C]

That would be my fault, your queenship. I was going to unstick the boy with a jug of water.

[A]

It's actually too hard to look at him and then at you. The juxtaposition is.

[C]

Some say the contrast actually helps me.

[A]

Lord, it hurts. It hurts. The rain. You were saying something. You were saying something about the raid.

[B]

Yes. Me.

[C]

No, I was it.

[A]

Can someone kill him? Yes. Thank you. Someone's gonna be here in one second. Just hold tight. Someone's here.

[B]

My queen, if I may, please, just wait here.

[C]

Just right here.

[B]

Would it not be more merciful, instead of killing him, to just chop off his arms and legs?

[A]

Ah.

[B]

That way he's punished, but has a second chance at life.

[A]

Lord Percival Thistlewick, you are the light of the ton. Yes, of course. Your mercy knows no bounds.

[C]

So I'm not killing him. I'm chopping off his ar. In his legs?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, it's okay with me. Care. I have to look at less barrels.

[A]

How did people this poor get in here? I'm going to have to check on security. Thank you so much for being here, Lord Percival.

[C]

Off you go to chop off your arms and your legs.

[B]

Make sure to cauterize the wounds.

[A]

Percival Thistlewick. Lord Thistlewick, thank you so much for joining us. You can sit right here as we await your competition. Although who could compete with you?

[B]

Very good.

[A]

Smell like oranges.

[B]

I ate an orange.

[A]

Ahem. Ahem. Now, introducing your competition, the dark horse of the season. Who rode up on a dark horse? Tricky, conniving, oily, grandiose, cunning. Not my type at all. Kind of a bad boy that you want to see if he'll change for you and sort of your love will soften him. Would probably look really roguish in the rain. Sort of reminds me of Clive Owen, actually. Now that I'm getting a better look at him, I can see him up close. I totally get it, and I'm totally into it. Oh, I'm now smelling him. And he smells like pine and like a musk. Wow. We are rich and hot guys here. Viscount Barnaby Shifty3 Thorp Viscount. Please give a short speech.

[C]

Hello, you, Majesty. It's an absolute pleasure to be here. I'm sorry for my lateness. I was supposed to arrive yesterday evening, but I was delayed hunting in the countryside. You see, I was hunting the most dangerous game.

[A]

Nothing. The most dangerous game.

[B]

Dangerous game. Bears? Bears?

[C]

No, not bears. No, not bears. Something much more dangerous. Dogs?

[A]

Cats?

[C]

Years ago, I found a deer in the forest. And instead of killing the deer, I taught the deer how to duel with a blade.

[B]

Tooling, dear.

[A]

Not a much tool blade.

[C]

It just so happened that this was one of the most virile deer in the entire forest. So it did what virile deer do best and spawned an entire lineage of deer. All of them born of the sword. Now, every year on my birthday under 30. Hold for applause. Hold for applause. Kill that man.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

I go out into the forest with nothing but my bare buttocks and exposed blade.

[A]

Two women. Fate.

[C]

And do kill those women. And do battle. And do battle with every deer that dare stand before me. Your Majesty, I present to you enough deer to feast for the entire celebration.

[B]

Oh. Ah.

[A]

Is that why you're covered in blood?

[C]

And why I smell like pine? I motion to my left and like a baggage train of deer with impaled by various swords is like dragged into the hall.

[A]

Wow. You brought a gift. I am most impressed. Bon appetit to whomever wishes to partake.

[C]

And speaking of bone appetite, I hope that my bone appetite will be quenched later this very evening.

[A]

And I the Queen slides off her chair.

[C]

I go and kiss the Queen's hand.

[A]

All right, gentlemen, please introduce yourselves to each other and do a gentlemanshake. Gentleman agreement. This will be all above board.

[B]

Viscount Barnaby, Your reputation precedes you. You might know my uncle, Charles Danube.

[C]

Ah, Charles Danube. Yes, I do believe I've made your uncle's acquaintance. But it's what a pleasure it is to make your acquaintance, Lord.

[B]

He was hunting on your grounds disguised as a deer when he met his ill timed death.

[C]

Well, everyone must go at a certain time, Lord Whistledick.

[B]

It's Thistlewick.

[C]

Oh, not the way I heard it, it's not.

[B]

Oh, you were hunting in the countryside. I've heard you were cunting in the huntry side.

[A]

Silence. No one's going to do better than that. The game shall work as follows. Each round you can earn up to two points. You will earn those two points. If you nail the answer, you use witty reasoning and show good showmanship, you get the answer quickly. Two points. You get one point if you get it with a hint or several hints, you get zero points if you simply fail to get it right. However, I can award one for favor for manners or minus one for scandal if you are out of line or say anything disgusting. Is that clear?

[C]

Well, it's clear to me. And the only thing that is going to be disgusting is the wind from Lord Thistlewick's mouth. It'll be gusting through here.

[B]

My queen, I don't know if you heard earlier, but in sort of a soft spoken voice directly to Barnaby, I said hunting in the countryside. More like hunting in the hunter.

[A]

I would like for you to give yourself a point for that.

[C]

We're not gonna be.

[A]

Thank you for reminding me.

[B]

Very good, my queen. If you deem it so.

[A]

Yeah, you will start with one point. Cunting in the huntside is the new merch. Look for it on the tea public shop.

[B]

Very good, my queen.

[C]

Very good, very good. We'll sell zero of them, my queen. Very good.

[A]

In the Regency era, there were riddles of refinement. Each word broken into parts, each part offering a clue until it revealed the whole. Special thank you to my friend Michael, who submitted a lot of these to me in 2024 and was the inspiration behind this ESS episode.

[B]

My queen, when you said reveal the hole, just know I gave a wink.

[A]

Ah, A hwink. W h I n K. Very good, my lord.

[C]

I hope the riddles aren't the only thing revealing the hole this week.

[B]

How dare you, sir. Takes off glove, smacks you in the face. I will not have such language in front of the Queen and sweet Arabelle.

[A]

Viscount, a rebuttal?

[C]

Well, normally for a glove smack like that, I'd have to pay 2 pittance down at the local dock. But Lord Thistlewick, from you, I'll take it for free.

[B]

Queen. He's getting off on it.

[A]

Please, Queen, we all are. It would be a glass houses situation if I were to take a point away. My first wet' n the wild to create new life. My second adorns a young girl's hair until she becomes a wife. My hole can lead to pots of gold, ending years of strife.

[B]

Rainbow.

[C]

Yes, yes, it's a rainbow. I was going to say leprechaun.

[A]

Two points to you, my lord.

[B]

I would like to donate my points to charity, my queen.

[A]

Charity. Do you want those points? No, I'm good. I don't need them. I'm all set. I'm eating the deer like it's caught on the cob.

[B]

Sorry, my queen. I have only thus seen Charity. Never heard her spoke. I feel like I'm gonna take a big step away from Charity with a

[A]

beautiful face and a voice that doesn't match. Beautiful face. And they do, like, a four minute musical break that everyone knows all the lyrics to. And the.

[B]

It's like if Kate Upton spoke. Like Vinnie Jones.

[A]

Silence. Two points to you, my lord.

[B]

Very good, my queen.

[A]

My first, I would venture. For my second, I would venture in my whole. Is more talked of than practiced.

[B]

Wink.

[C]

Mm. More talked of than practiced. Venture. Inn.

[A]

Yes. What's something in the 1800s that you would use to get around, perhaps on a longer journey?

[C]

Oh, reputation.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh. A long horse.

[A]

No.

[B]

A U horse.

[A]

No, not a horse at all.

[C]

Not a horse at all.

[A]

A mode of transportation.

[C]

Train.

[A]

No.

[B]

Big train.

[A]

Do we have a train to the. Do we have those United States.

[C]

Ah, no. Yes. A boat.

[A]

A ship. Yes. So now you know the second part of the word. A ship.

[B]

Relationship.

[A]

Mmm. Close. What kind of relationship?

[C]

Ship. Courtship. A courtship.

[A]

Not a courtship.

[C]

Fuck my ass.

[A]

Who's someone you would venture for? Someone you would do something nice for? Someone you'd like to hang out with. Aha. Thank you, my love.

[B]

I feel like I could really grab an ale with you, my queen.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

You've got a Jo the Plumber vibe.

[A]

Um, my queen, I'm sort of a hockey mom. Someone you had, do you remember? Sarah Palin?

[C]

Yes, I do remember. Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Someone you would want to hang out with, you said. Can you repeat the riddle one more time, my queen?

[B]

Whistleship.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

What are you.

[A]

Thistlewick is your name. Are you unwell?

[C]

Are you saying that your name is Lord Whistleship, my queen. Would you repeat the riddle, please? Just. I don't remember.

[B]

My queen. Is this a hint or is this sort of a Jeopardy style?

[C]

Is this a theme song?

[A]

Can't just be both.

[C]

Is this a theme song to something in me

[A]

friendship? Ah, well, I think the Viscount said it first, so you can give yourself one point, Viscount.

[C]

Yes. Because I needed a lot of help.

[A]

You did. You did indeed. My first is somewhat soft in yellow, especially in the spring. My next. Oh, you think he's just gonna suggest bloodletting again? My next are busy melding fellows forever in service.

[B]

Butter. Something with butter. No, you said soft and yellow, like

[C]

a marigold or flower.

[A]

Soft and yellow. I don't. Especially in the spring is not entirely helpful.

[C]

I don't think gold is soft and Yellow.

[B]

It's malleable in yellow. I wouldn't say soft.

[A]

I think we're more looking for edible in yellow.

[B]

Butter.

[C]

Oedipal?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, a horse.

[C]

A horse.

[B]

A horse that fucks your mom?

[A]

No.

[C]

A horse that fucks like your dad?

[A]

No, not this time. What is edible and yellow fruit?

[C]

Honey.

[A]

Ah, yes. Which kind?

[B]

Honeydew, pineapple, Cantaloupe?

[A]

I would say perhaps the most or second most.

[C]

Lemon.

[A]

Yes, a lemon.

[C]

Oh, my queen.

[B]

But pineapples are rentable for 5,000 gold

[C]

per day, my queen. Would this be a pineapple?

[A]

How do you know what a pineapple is? Even with your wealth, you should shouldn't know.

[C]

Would this be a living party, my queen?

[B]

No.

[A]

Minus one point for being.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Forever.

[C]

If we don't know what pineapples are, we don't know what lemon parties are.

[A]

Rush to help someone. You are giving them aid.

[B]

Lemon aid.

[A]

Yes. One point for you, Lord Percival Thistlewick.

[B]

When life hands you lemon. What?

[A]

What?

[B]

When life hands you lemons or you inherit them. Might I suggest adding sugar?

[A]

Several women start taking off their clothes. Ladies, ladies, please relax.

[C]

It'll be a while. We have a. We have quite a while.

[A]

My first is nothing but. This one kind of stinks. But we're doing it anyway. My first is nothing but a name. My second still more small. My whole of so much smaller frame. It has no name at all. This one's very confusing.

[C]

Yes, the hole has.

[A]

It kind of gives you the answer, innit? My first is nothing but a name. My second still more small. My hole of so much smaller fame. It has no name at all.

[C]

This is like a surname or like a nickname.

[B]

Surname.

[C]

No name at all.

[A]

A name is in it. Name. Name is the first half of the word. The second still more small. Name.

[C]

I like name tag. Name tag is funny. Walking around court wearing a name tag.

[A]

Not as much as it could be. It has.

[B]

Speaking of name tags, I do want to point out to the court that there is someone here with a name tag that says Franck.

[A]

What's Eh? Oui, Louise. Monsieur. I am here for both season. Urban. Dimitri. Wife.

[C]

Wait. We killed the other guy. But we're not killing this guy.

[A]

Franc the frog. Eh? Frog and fool. Black and white cocktails. I escaped France so I would not be eaten for my legs.

[B]

Ten lady frogs faint.

[A]

Eh. Bonjour. Bonjour. Champagne. Bonjour. Frog.

[C]

Is this.

[A]

Is it.

[C]

Is it nameless?

[A]

Yes. Ah.

[C]

The frog said yes.

[A]

One point. My first is a contraction for company. My second denotes a rec.

[C]

Compass.

[A]

My Third forms part of the ear. My hole is but a quibble.

[C]

Ah, a quibble. Quick bibble. That's what we call short Bible stories that you can watch on your.

[A]

Oh, the timing of those short Bible stories was so bad, though. It's because, remember, it was during that plague.

[C]

That plague that happened for a year. And I almost said that you could watch on your. And I was trying to pull a one for one. I almost said goblin phone. Different doing here.

[A]

Gumshoes and dragons wherever you find podcasts. Can you believe that 2B and Quibi were both existed on the same timeline but were different companies?

[C]

Ah, I just saw that Shakespeare play, Tubi Quibi.

[A]

A point for each of you. A bonus point, please.

[C]

Well, that's the same as having no point at all.

[B]

A point for each is a point for none, my queen. And you mentioned if the whole is but a quibble. And my queen, I would pay a king's ransom to see your hole. Your butthole quibble.

[A]

Oh, that wasn't even subtle, my lord.

[C]

Your butthole quibble. I'll give him a point for that. I love that, my queen.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Your butthole quibble.

[A]

Search term unlocked. My first is a contraction for company. My second denotes a recluse. My third forms part of the ear. That's probably the most helpful part of the hint. My whole is but a quibble.

[B]

Okay. C O R P Corp.

[C]

Com.

[A]

Hermit, Inc. Co is right first and then what's part of the ear?

[B]

Colob.

[C]

Cochlea.

[A]

Oh, it's three parts of the word. Yes.

[B]

Is it kolob? No, the idiot farmer who races the horses. Oh, are you calling an idiot farmer kolob? I didn't see you there, Kolob.

[C]

It's a. I feel like everyone's saying kolobe, but it's Caleb.

[B]

Your name tag says Kolob folk. It do indeed.

[A]

What name? Different parts of the ear. Remember, this has three. This word has three sounds. Three syllables.

[B]

Stirrup, Inner. Outer. Drum.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Codrum. Conundrum.

[A]

Con.

[B]

Drum. Conundrum.

[A]

Conundrum. Thank you.

[C]

A nun is a recluse.

[B]

Is there a nun in the court? No, no nuns.

[A]

Yes. Just a woman singing. Carry on. What is the condition of life from which if you take all trouble, there will yet remain some

[B]

troublesome.

[A]

Yes. Two points, my lord.

[C]

Interesting. Yes, troublesome.

[A]

Oh, and please give yourself one point for getting conundrum with a hint.

[C]

My friend, every. Every time I, to use a polite term for court, hook up with someone, it's technically having a troublesome.

[A]

You should not be hooking up with anyone outside of marriage. Oh, you are a man of society. You are saving yourself for your wife. As she is for you. I am sure. Of.

[C]

Of course. Of course, my queen. I'm talking about blowjobs and rim stuff.

[A]

Oh, yes. And gentlemen, play. Yes. Quibbles. Small bits. In all this old world's days and years. My first, how bad it is. My last, how sad it is. Yet my whole. The heart endears.

[C]

Oh, let's see. The first is how bad it is. And the last is how sad it is.

[A]

Mm.

[C]

Um,

[A]

this one's a little confusing, but it's from the 1800s. So what are you going to do?

[C]

It's the time we're.

[B]

Now you can just say our time.

[C]

Our time.

[A]

From today, Our Town is a play that doesn't exist yet. But look forward to it.

[B]

But there is a young boy named

[A]

Thornton Wilder, I believe, who's kill that boy?

[B]

Oh, never mind.

[A]

Save us from the trouble. I don't want to watch two people fall in love on a ladder or whatever the fuck happens in our town.

[C]

Okay. Like malady? Would it be like a malady?

[A]

Or bad? No, something. What is when you do something bad.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

You would be disciplined.

[A]

If you forgive me, Father, for I have sin.

[B]

Yes, Sinbad. Oh, is it the comedian? Sinbad the jester?

[A]

No.

[B]

Sinbad, come in here and do your full voice.

[C]

I've often found that. I've often found that I was much less funny when I was riding my carriage. But back when I used to take the communal horse, I found I was much funnier.

[B]

Did you ever notice how nobles ride horses like this? Whereas peasants tend to ride horses like this?

[A]

That is true truth in comedy. Yes. Writing that down.

[C]

Off with his head.

[A]

That's something.

[C]

A sin. The second half is. What's the second clue?

[A]

How sad it is. The second half is not gonna be helpful. My whole. The heart endears. So, like, endears.

[B]

Just like my uncle.

[A]

What's something that is like earnest, Sincere, Sincere, sincere, sincere. Please give yourself One point, Mr. Viacount.

[C]

Mm. Yes.

[A]

My first Rules the day and banishes night. My second measures worth, favor or praise. My whole warms the heart and reveals what was hidden.

[B]

Sunlight.

[A]

The second. You're so close. But the second half is a different word for moonlight.

[B]

Sunshine.

[A]

Yes. Sunshine.

[C]

Sunshine.

[A]

Please. Give you. I'll give you two points for that.

[B]

My queen is speaking in tongues. She's a witch.

[A]

She's a witch. Sorry, sorry, sorry. How about one?

[C]

Should I dose her with this big jug of water? Is She a witch?

[A]

No. Thank you. Still the queen.

[C]

I don't have arms and legs, so it would have been hard.

[A]

All right, well, I have arms and legs. Are we just saying stuff?

[B]

I have one arm and one leg.

[A]

All right. This is not a show and tell. That wasn't an invitation, but I brought them. Everyone has their little trinkets that they love that they're holding.

[B]

My queen, for the last. For sunshine. How many points did I receive?

[A]

You got two points.

[B]

And, my queen, since we are in the presence of a viscount, could we. Viscount up our points?

[A]

Yes, we're in the middle of a round, but if you want to.

[B]

Oh, my queen, I apologize. In the middle of a round?

[C]

Row, row, row your boat Row gently down the street Gently down the street. All right, I have three points.

[A]

Now that we're all caught up, I'm going to do two more. And then we are going to take a quick break for little sandwiches with cream cheese and cucumber and very, very mild tea. Here we go.

[C]

I hope that's not the only cheese getting creamed this night, my queen.

[A]

Minus one point.

[C]

That one's gross. Eh? They're all going to be gross.

[A]

Is a place of judgment, gossip and law. My second sets sail with hope and risk. My whole begins with glances and ends with vows.

[C]

Courtship.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

A bow to each other. We solved it. What a team.

[C]

What a team.

[B]

In fact, now that I see your eyes. You are beautiful. Your eyes are like chipped sapphires.

[A]

Sprays with water. Sprays with water. You cannot start fucking each other.

[C]

But, my queen, we were going to Eiffel Tower.

[A]

Fair enough.

[C]

If they have that here, when we

[A]

go on a break, you can do a quickie in the name of heated rivalry.

[B]

Very good, my queen.

[A]

To honor it.

[C]

I'm more of a challengers man myself.

[A]

Mmm. One is kind of queer baiting. And one is.

[C]

Well, the Eiffel Tower, my queen, involves a third person. The heated rivalry thing.

[A]

This it does well. Let's go on break. Faster than I previously wanted to say.

[C]

She's a witch. She's a witch.

[A]

First keeps you alive Though you rarely thank it My second snaps what once was whole My whole teaches poets their trade. Air.

[C]

Yes. Breath. Breathless Breathbud.

[B]

Breathbut there's nothing in the rules that says breathbud can't play basketball.

[A]

There's nothing in the rules that says a queen can't be a part of the Eiffel Tower. Not in the spot that you think.

[B]

Mirror.

[C]

Any spot's good. Can you read the second part again? My Queen.

[A]

My first keeps you alive, though you rarely thank it. My second snaps what once was whole. My whole teaches poets their trade. What keeps you alive inside of your body?

[C]

Heart.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Heartache.

[A]

Heart break break. Yes. Unfortunately, the Lord did steal that from you, Mr. Viscount.

[C]

And my queen, may I say that heartbreak somehow feels good in a place like this.

[A]

All right, we're going to take a quick 10. The three of us will Eiffel Tower, and we will be back moving terra.

[B]

Franck, can you help direct us for this Eiffel Tower?

[A]

Get consent first. Cause it's essential. Number two, put your arms up.

[C]

Finally, I've crossed through fields and I have climbed through mountains. And here I am at the great temple to ask the master. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, how do I. How do I what? Am I gonna buy a car? How do I buy a car?

[B]

Ah, you've come to the right place. For we are the car gurus.

[C]

Yeah, and I kind of came all this way, but then I heard that actually it's a website. And I could just go to the website.

[A]

Yeah. JPC. With CarGurus Discover, you can skip the filter to describe what you're looking for in your own words. Simply type what you want and Cargurus Discover instantly search purposes. Real listings that match your exact needs. It's so easy. You don't have to go on this long journey while you're buying a new car.

[C]

Yeah, and honestly, I could have used, like, the car to go on the journey because I walked most of this way and it was like, yikes on roads. So it's like roads where, you know, I should have had car.

[A]

Scary.

[B]

It's no wonder Cargurus is the number one most visited car shopping site according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data. Have you brought a offering?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I have an offering and I'm also looking. That dealership mode on Cargurus app puts you in control. You can compare side by side, check pricing, and estimate your final cost so you can navigate the dealership with confidence. And with more than 4 million listings, CarGurus has the biggest selection of cars. So it's easier than ever to find the right car and the right deal. Honestly, I feel like walking all this way was kind of a waste. Mama.

[B]

No, mama. Not a waste. Mama. Buy or sell your next car today with [e-mail]. go to cargurus gurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A R G U R U S dot com. Cargurus.com Mama and Casey, I know I

[C]

never do this, but I'm gonna need a clip of Adel saying no mama. Carguru Mama.

[A]

Yeah, I would like one too, for personal use.

[B]

Mamas for all. Hey, Aaron. Hey, gpc. Can you guys help me figure something out?

[C]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Always.

[B]

I have this charge. I pull up my bank account here. I have this charge that says JPC tax $5,000. It's like a monthly deduction.

[A]

Oh, I. Yes. No, no. I go to your Rocket Money app and have them cancel that for you.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

We signed up for the free trial, like, three months ago, and then we forgot about it. And I noticed it. I got like, a ping from Rocket Money in my email and they let me know that I had been paying for.

[C]

Lost another one to Rocket Money. Oh, man. Yeah. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Unless you're me with the GPC tax, and then your savings are dwindling. With Rocket Money, you can do automatic transaction categorization across your accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns and add context. Also, if you have, like, a big event coming up, like something that. Like a wedding or some monumental expense, it helps you plan and save for something like that.

[A]

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years and years, way before they were ever a sponsor. And I love how easy it is to read and how intuitive it is.

[B]

Yeah, I love Rocket Money, but, Aaron, I do hate that voice. Was that gpc? It sounded like a Rumpelstiltskin type voice. Did you hear that?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No. So that's just like. That's a voice alert I have on my phone every time someone unsubscribes to the JPC tax. I don't know where it's from or how to turn it off.

[A]

Oh, that's kind of scary. We'll deal with that later.

[B]

Yeah, well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle

[C]

lost another one to Rocket Money.

[A]

Yeah, that's not even coming from your phone.

[C]

Yeah. Is that coming from inside of our heads?

[B]

Maybe.

[C]

Yeah, like heaven, maybe.

[A]

Yoicks Blake's JPC it's that time of the year where all of my goals have kind of gone out the window because I am busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. And it is hard to figure out like when to cook and when to go grocery shopping and meal planning. I'm exhausted.

[C]

Aaron, my friend, you look it. But have I told you about Tempo? Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted, dietitian proof meals right to your door. Plus each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast without the sad desk lunch or drive through regret. Adel, I know you love Tempo.

[B]

Oh yes. I don't often. I love the word scrumptious. I don't get to use it often. These options are scrumptious and healthy. I've been enjoying the five spice glazed chicken thighs, the chili shrimp rice bowl and one of my favorites, the picante carnitas pork rice bowl. Nom nom, nom, nom nom nom.

[A]

And no matter what your goals, there's a Tempo meal for you. Protein packed meals with up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious and even GLP1 balanced meals. It's convenient but also flexible enough to fit the way you want to eat. I look it. I look tired.

[C]

Look Aaron, for a limited time and that might be all you have, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to tempomeals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box. Temple meals.com riddle rules and restrictions may apply.

[A]

I look it. I look it.

[B]

You're standing in front of a mirror.

[A]

I look it.

[C]

They do exist. Okay, well let me just do my final measurements here. Seems everything seems even. Check the doors. Adel. Aaron, I have using my skills as a woodworker have crafted a well built wardrobe.

[A]

A magical one where you can go into a magical world.

[C]

No, I tried it. It's just wood but it's well built.

[B]

Gpc. When we said every adult should have sort of a well built wardrobe, we didn't mean like the actual frame, like an actual wooden wardrobe. We went like in a Quince way. Like you know, like having a lot of adult well made, like quality clothing that lasts, quality pieces that work together. They hold up over time. You know that's what Quince does best. We told you that.

[A]

Organic cotton sweaters, Polos for every occasion. Lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season. I have a raincoat from them that I love.

[B]

Jvc. I held you down sort of clockwork orange style and held open your eyes while I showed you that Quince's premium materials thoughtful Design and everyday staples feel easy to wear and they're easy to rely on even as the weather shifts in Chicago.

[C]

This is making sense now because I was like you were talking about how quints works directly with top factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. That's what you said. That's what you were doing with my eyes. And can I be honest with you? I did not build that well of a wardrobe. I mean, this thing is pretty loose. No? It's pretty loose. You can knock it over with a feather.

[B]

Oh, a nail just went right through my thumb.

[C]

That's the best case scenario.

[A]

They only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I love their home stuff. I love their clothes. I can always count on them for the best quality.

[C]

So don't be like that. Absolute fool. JPC. Refresh your wardrobe with Quints.

[A]

Don't be foolish like JPC. Right now. Go to quints.com riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling. For clothes that don't last. Go to quince Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Riddle R I D D L E Quince. Quince. Quince.

[B]

My name is Mr. Tumnus. Please come with me.

[A]

I'm going.

[C]

He's. He came with the thing. I. I found him on Fiverr.

[A]

Right. Where were we?

[B]

Oh, that was quite exquisite.

[C]

I don't know what I was fingering you or the sandwiches. Licks his fingers. Wear gloves.

[A]

Oh, God. My first is what a clock eternally shows. My second is less than many. My whole is praised far more than it deserves.

[B]

Time. Few.

[C]

FaceTime.

[A]

What is something that is always on a clock?

[C]

A face. And all over a hand.

[B]

Hands all over your body.

[A]

My second is less than many.

[C]

A few.

[B]

Hand few. Bless you.

[C]

Handsome. Handsome type.

[A]

Yes. You guys. Has anyone ever told you you guys are hand few? My God.

[B]

One woman who was having a stroke.

[A]

Ah, yes, yes, yes, Viscount. You can award yourself one point for that.

[C]

Ah, good.

[A]

My first.

[B]

She's a witch.

[C]

She's being a witch a lot.

[B]

My queen.

[A]

Yes?

[B]

I do have news from the east. A war has started.

[A]

Excuse me. Put it on my desk for Monday.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We are in the middle of something. We're trying to get one woman. One. And that's Sort of seemingly my focus.

[B]

It's after noon on Friday. This can wait till Monday.

[A]

This can wait till Monday, right? It's 4pm On a Friday. If they're going to wage war, they're not expecting us to respond till Monday. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Of course, m'. Lady.

[C]

I mean, technically, m'. Lady. That's when they would attack, knowing that they've got a 4.48hour.

[A]

But they're not gonna do. They're not going to give up their weekend. The weekend.

[B]

Oh, my Queen, A flaming arrow just entered my thigh.

[A]

Alright then, just take it. Take as many as it takes. All right. It's a Friday, my Queen. It's ball season.

[C]

This is my favorite time of the year, My Queen. I've got a flaming arrow near my thigh as well. And I simply must finish this game so that I can expose the prick of the arrow. If you know what I'm saying, My Queen.

[B]

Oh, you've been hit. Let me suck out the poison.

[A]

Oh, yes. Wait. Take another 10. Do do do do do do do do do do. Those noises are unrelated. All right, last one of this round. Let's keep it moving, shall we?

[C]

Yes, let's do it.

[A]

My first follows night whether invited or not. My second wanders without feet. My whole steals time while pretending

[B]

Day

[C]

de

[B]

Daywalker Blade Blade has my Queen.

[C]

Hunter of vampires.

[B]

My Queen, Wesley Snipes is a daywalker. He is part human and part vampire. He can walk during the day when most vampires.

[A]

Spoiler alert. That is your last warning, My lord.

[C]

My Queen, have you seen Blade Trinity? I think you'd really like one particular frame from that movie.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Oh, he's holding up a poster board.

[A]

Day what? My hole steals time while pretending to give hope.

[C]

Daylight day Thief

[B]

Daybreak Day Song day

[C]

Man, the musical clues are so.

[B]

Daydreamer.

[A]

Daydream Daydream. Thank you, my lord. They are not confusing if you know the songs.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

When I play heads up at any sort of family gathering or party, I'm good at the humons. Hum ones. I can do the humming. I'm good at humming to get people to guess a song.

[C]

My Queen, I never doubted for a minute that you would be the best in the kingdom at doing a hummer.

[A]

Hum break. Thank you. One point for you. Hum break.

[C]

Hold on. What's the rules? Because that was also pretty nasty. I feel like I keep.

[A]

I don't know. At least it was more subtle than the others. You're right. Minus one for that point I just gave you. You if you fight the points, then you won't get the points.

[C]

Now, I don't remember every point.

[A]

I would like each of you to pick a song, hum it for me. And whoever does a better job will be rewarded 2 points. Who would like to go first?

[B]

I insist that the Viscount goes first.

[C]

Are we picking? We're picking any song or a song that we think you will know.

[A]

Yes. And then you will hum it. Vi count. And then I will guess what it is. It is in the spirit of the show because I don't think either of you have watched a lick of it. But they put today's hits and they hand it to an orchestra and then the orchestra will play like, thank you next or something. And you're like, is that thank you next? During this ball scene, they played put Pitbull season three in a where a woman's getting fingered in a carriage. Excuse me. They play an orchestral version of a woman was fingered in a carriage. Penelope Featherington was fingered in a carriage by Colin Bridgerton.

[B]

Is this, like, clue the least.

[A]

Yes. The least attractive of the Bridgerton brothers

[C]

to the song Fingers don't have Faces.

[B]

My queen, Penelope Featherington in a carriage with her fingers.

[A]

Fingers don't have Faces is the funniest thing you've said on episode one point for you hum a song and I'm going to guess what again.

[C]

I've been nasty all episodes. Sometimes I get points away.

[A]

Don't give yourself the point. I'm trying to give you a point for saying something funny. You know what? A point to you, my lord, for showing decorum, indecency. Two points to Lord Whistleship.

[C]

It's my lady. I'm ready. I'm ready to do my hummer to you as well.

[A]

All right, Viscount, you're up. We are not on our 400th episode. Bringing up five for fighting again. 15. There's still time for you. All right. Not great. You weren't going the right tempo. Lord, this is.

[C]

Wait, I thought the whole point was to do it in the style of, like, the strings and all of that.

[A]

No, I did say that. You're right. I'll reward points at the end and you'll see if you'll get them.

[C]

My queen, I just have to say I did watch. How do I say this? Not my wife. Watch some of Bridgerton. So I do know a little bit about who. It's not just the Pitbull song. They do it Bridgerton style.

[A]

Yes, they do.

[C]

Okay. Yes.

[A]

And Fingers don't have faces. Thistlewick, whenever you're ready okay,

[B]

I'm up here.

[A]

Why do I feel like I'm at some sort of sporting event? I feel like someone's about to spill a beer on me. What is it? What is the name of that song?

[B]

It's from another nation, my queen.

[A]

I thought that was

[B]

that Seven Nation Army. This is Zombie Nation.

[C]

They're here. They're getting closer. The Seven Nation Army.

[B]

There's several nations, my queen. In fact, I believe one of them

[A]

is at war with us again on Monday. If the war is that important, it will be there on Monday.

[C]

I thought you were going to go. Something tells me my queen would know that one. Every

[B]

left be roses by the stairs. Let me know she cares.

[C]

Cheetah, Cheetah.

[A]

No. No, it's not.

[B]

So.

[A]

You know what? I'm going to give one point to you, my lord, because you did pick a song that didn't have lyrics, so that does make it easier. And then, Viscount, I will give you two points. Ah. For bringing up a song that we've brought up 400 times in as many episodes.

[C]

I don't know. Whatever you mean.

[A]

I don't either. Let's do a quick score check. Everybody give me an update on where you are at.

[B]

My queen. In Lus, I've miscounted, which could be a reasonable concern, because obviously I failed school because all my teachers slept with me. Of course I have nine points, my queen.

[A]

Ah. Ooh, Ah. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

[C]

My queen. Unless I've viscounted just a little joke on the way viscount is spelled, I believe I have.

[A]

Hold on. You can have a point.

[C]

Okay, I believe now I have six points, but I'll say I have been losing and gaining a lot of points and doing it to myself. So if you're listening and you know how many points I have, and that's a little bit off, I. Hey, guys, I really apologize. I was legitimately trying.

[A]

This time, it sounds like Lord Thistlewick is in the lead. Congratulations, sir.

[B]

My queen, it's only at your behest and due to your grace that I have any points at all.

[A]

Very good. Very good. Tuck it up to me. Love it.

[C]

A strategy that I learned from Sir Bradley of Pitt from the F1 region is that sometimes it's better to draft behind your opponents so that you may overtake them.

[B]

Ah. Draft behind. I'd like to F1.

[A]

How do I feel about that joke? Calculating, calculating, calculating.

[C]

I like to F1. Are you saying you'd like to. You know what?

[A]

I'm not gonna take points away But I'm also not going to award them.

[C]

I was honestly having trouble. I like it. I'm trying to unpack it now.

[A]

We're going to do two of these because I think these next type are quite exhausting. Your next round is letter deduction. You'll be trying to put together a complete word. Each line is a different letter. You are trying to deduce.

[C]

Ah, yes.

[A]

The way that this game, I think, is meant to be played is, as it goes. If you can guess the final word, we will stop it there and you will get the points.

[C]

Gotcha.

[A]

Two points if it's sort of in the middle of the word. One point if you get it at the end.

[C]

Ah, yes.

[A]

All right, Good.

[B]

Could we have an example, my queen?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

An example will do me. Right.

[A]

My first is in flour, but not in rye. My second is in wet, but not in dry. My third is in below, but not in cry. My fourth is in rod, but never in whip. My fifth is running, but never is in running, but never in skip. My six is in yawl, but never in ship. My seventh is in error, but not in miss.

[B]

My queen was right. This is exhausting.

[A]

It is. I know. We're only going to do two.

[B]

I don't know how to keep track.

[C]

My queen is.

[A]

My first is in flour, but not in rye. Let's go one line at a time. F. Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

My second is in wet, but not in dry.

[C]

E. Yeah, it's got to be E because it wouldn't be W. Yes.

[A]

My third is in below, but not in cry. B. Yes.

[B]

February.

[A]

Yes, my lord. Points awarded to you, my lord.

[B]

And thank God

[A]

my heart. Alas for its cold, cold kiss. It was February.

[C]

You get two points, my queen. Did you read the part about the cold kiss?

[A]

No. I went back because I didn't get to the end, but I just skipped to the end.

[C]

And are they all gonna be long words like February? Oh, boy. Okay.

[A]

I sourced real ones, so this is what you're going to get.

[C]

Yes. Okay.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

My first is in dinosaur, but not in motorcycle. Well, that could be a lot of letters.

[C]

My Queen.

[A]

Are you pushing back against riddles written 200 years ago? Are you complaining they didn't have TV or Internet? They had to have these be so exhausting that it'd take longer in your

[C]

day to stand up for Lord Thistlewick? Sometimes if you push back a little, it can be rather pleasant.

[A]

I'll sit down for Lord Thistlewick and I'll stand up for him.

[C]

Yes. And stand up. Yes.

[A]

These are getting exhausting We've done one. My first is in bloom, but not in moth.

[C]

Okay, I gotta assume it's B.

[A]

My second is in apple, but not in rose.

[B]

I guess like a P. Yeah, no,

[C]

I'm thinking A, because so far they. Yes, so far they've all just been the first letter of the thing. I don't know if.

[A]

My third is in lily, but not in crowd.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Balloon. No, my queen. Is it balloon? Please let it be balloon.

[C]

Is it ballroom?

[A]

It is ballroom. Two points to the My counter. Isn't it better when you get these early and I don't have to read all of them? My hole. Where romance is performed.

[B]

My queen. Can we go Performed?

[C]

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, wait, wait, wait. My queen. Did you just say my hall where romance is performed?

[A]

I know, and there was a mad dash to this, but technically, Lord Thistlewick got there first, and you cut him off to make the exact same joke. So one point to you. Me Whistle ship. Yes, whistlechip if I count. What did you like about the sentence I just said? Or did you have umbrage with it? Were you upset by it?

[C]

No, I just. I just wanted you to know that I heard it and I didn't say anything about it.

[A]

You did, though. You did say something about it.

[C]

No, no, I just said. Did you just say.

[A]

But that is saying something about it. If you acknowledge it at all, you're saying something about it, even if just to say that I said it.

[C]

I guess in a way, then saying nothing is the same as saying something you just.

[A]

No, it's not. They're completely different. One, you keep your mouth shut and you hold your tongue. The second, you're saying something out loud, calling attention to it and giving more time to it than it deserves.

[C]

I'd be willing to leave my mouth shut and hold your tongue, my queen.

[A]

That sounds awful. Hold my tongue with what? Your mouth shut?

[C]

Uh huh. My mouth shut. What do you think is holding your tongue, my queen?

[A]

Oh, mine is a point.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

All right. Actually, we're gonna do one more of these. How about that?

[C]

Yes. First. Yes, of course, My queen.

[B]

My queen.

[A]

My first is in candle, but not in silk.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Probably C. My second is in harp, but not in tiara. H. Yes. My third is in waltz, but not in rose.

[C]

A.

[B]

Is it a charm? Is it A?

[A]

My charizard. Fourth is an opera, but not in waltz.

[C]

Chaos. Chancellor.

[A]

No. My fifth is in feather. Yes.

[C]

P. Chaperone. Chaperone.

[A]

Chaperone. Chaperone, Chaperone.

[B]

Ah, Pink Pony Club.

[A]

Two points to you by the way

[C]

that would be perfect for an episode

[A]

of Bridgerton, I think. Well, there was one in the most recent season at the four episode Mark Benedict Bridgerton falls in love with a maid. And she's running up the stairs and he's running down the stairs. They meet in the middle. He fingers her, which always get it

[B]

hot like Papa Johns.

[A]

And I think that they did. Was it hot to go. Let me google this. What song plays while Lord. Why so much Sophie?

[C]

Why so much fingering on this show?

[A]

It's mostly that.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

It's actually. No, never mind. It's an Olivia Rodrigo song. It's bad idea.

[C]

Yes. Is everyone in this show 17? Because that's the only reason that anyone should be like fingering this much. Eventually you gotta grow up sometime.

[A]

Don't knock it till you try it. Fingers don't have faces.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, I couldn't agree more, my queen.

[A]

All right, final round, final round, final round. In this next round, I'm going to give you multiple choice questions for something that Adel stated. I don't know who that is. Just a man that he did not like in an early episode of. Hey, Riddle, riddle. What is it that he said he did not like?

[C]

Aaron Keefe.

[A]

Yes. But that was under his breath. And to the side. JPC 400 episodes. ADOL likes puzzles, riddles, lateral thinking problems. ADOL does not like trivia. Trivia, Trivia. Things that you either know or don't know.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Figuring since you are in the lead. Lord Whistleship Thistle.

[B]

You made up these names, my queen.

[A]

I know, and I'm doing a callback.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait. Is he in the lead?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I have 12 points.

[C]

Whoa. Where? He got 12 points?

[B]

I think.

[C]

Yes, but I got all the answers right in that last round.

[A]

You got two of them right. He got one right.

[C]

Oh, the first one was a warm up. I thought.

[A]

No, it wasn't. I ended up. I gave him two points for it. You.

[C]

It ended up not being a warm up.

[A]

So we declared.

[C]

He said, could we have a practice

[A]

warm up for an example? That doesn't mean I wasn't burning through a real one.

[C]

Okay, okay, I understand.

[A]

If you want, you can make up your points here in this multiple choice.

[C]

I guess I want.

[A]

You're gonna have to buzz in quickly because this is gonna come at you fast. During the Regency era, why did fashionable women often wear high waisted gowns?

[C]

Oh, Buzz.

[A]

All right,

[C]

who got it?

[A]

I think I heard.

[C]

Remember, you have to say our names.

[A]

I think I. Lord Percival. Lord Percival Thistlewick first.

[B]

My Queen, they wore high waisted gowns because twas easier for them to say, my eyes are up here.

[A]

That is a great guess, but you did buzz in before I gave you the multiple choice.

[C]

Fuck.

[B]

Say the word and I shall end my life. My Queen.

[C]

My Queen, mine was also going to be a joke here, so I could burn mine as well.

[A]

Oh, yes, of course, please.

[C]

Easier access for fingering on stairways or carriages.

[A]

Mostly that. A, to make it easier to dance all night. B, to echo the styles of ancient Greece and Rome. C, to hide forbidden pregnancies. Pregnancies more easily. D, because I, the Queen, communicated my distaste for traditional corsets.

[B]

My Queen, may I ask what constitutes a forbidden pregnancy?

[A]

One that happens outside of marriage, of course.

[C]

How high would the waist have to be to hide a pregnancy?

[A]

They're really high.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It would be like they're right under the bus.

[C]

Right under the bus, Right, yes. That's exactly where they're cutting, I'd say. The pregnancy one, I guess.

[B]

Has my Queen seen the room?

[A]

I'm looking at it right now.

[B]

Oh, hi, Mark.

[A]

Is that your official guess?

[C]

Yes, that's my official guess. It's the pregnancy one.

[A]

You did not get it right. It was to echo the styles of ancient Greece and Rome.

[C]

How's foolish of me? You can't get pregnant by constantly getting fingered.

[A]

What is the purpose of a calling card in Regency society? A, to propose marriage discreetly. To prove one can read or write. To announce a social visit or request a meeting. Or to challenge someone to a duel. Viscount, I heard your buzz.

[C]

I. I have to think it's. C. My.

[A]

Yes. To announce a social visit. Very good.

[C]

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

[A]

My Queen, a point for you. Which beverage became wildly popular in Regency England?

[C]

Cherry Pepsi. The only beverage to ever become wild.

[A]

This one I don't think you need a multiple choice for.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

What was the most popular drink in Regency England? Not Mountain Dew. Baja Blast. Yes, Lord Percival.

[B]

Champagne?

[A]

No, Viscount. For the steel.

[C]

It's just the most popular beverage in Regency times.

[A]

Pretty obvious.

[C]

Is it wine?

[A]

No.

[B]

Is it water?

[C]

Tea.

[A]

Tea.

[B]

Ah, tea.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

Yes, of course.

[A]

Tea.

[C]

The thing that you can drink way more often than wine. That's why when I say wine, you know what? Big cup of wine at breakfast.

[A]

Our game. Please do a breakdown of your point.

[B]

Oh, break down.

[C]

My name is Barnaby. Shifty thought better. Here's the points.

[A]

I got no rap at the same time. You had the right idea. And 5, 6, 7, 8.

[C]

Is it gonna be music? Do we have a court Casey, is there a court? Casey. There it is.

[A]

Whenever you're ready. Both at the same time. Make your case of why you should win.

[C]

Well, my name is Barnaby Shifty Thorpe and I'm the handsomest man of court. I got 10 points. That's a hell of a lot. And I got three fingered I'm hot to trot. If you catch me in the castle know that I want my tongue in my hoop.

[B]

Uh, my name is Percival Thistle Rick, you can probably see my dick or at least the outline of my balls. Hey everybody climb the walls. There's a war going on. It starts Monday. Today is not going to be mundane. Flames arrow through the neck. Hey everybody hit the deck. There's a cannonball coming from a cannon. I love wine. I love the tannins. Taste the grass. Taste the air, my queen. Derriere love that asshole of my queen. Wouldn't equival her butthole like the queen.

[C]

My queen. My queen. My queen.

[B]

My queen. My queen.

[C]

Would it please you if we did some Beastie Boy style setup for each other?

[A]

Yes, it would please the queen. For the hundredth episode. Do it again, Casey. Do it again. It would please the queen.

[C]

I don't mean to give a flex, but I am the best at sex.

[B]

I thought.

[C]

That's it. That's it. No, that's it. That's it. Just that. Just that.

[A]

Sex.

[C]

Sex.

[A]

I'm telling you right now. Just making the best of.

[C]

Do it again.

[B]

Same setup. Same setup.

[C]

Same setup. I don't mean to make a flex, but I am the best at fucking.

[A]

Fucking.

[B]

I know I'm good. I know I'm right. I can fuck all day.

[C]

I can fuck all fucking day, baby.

[A]

All right. Enough. Enough, enough, enough. Enough is enough. That concludes our game. You ended up with 10 points. You ended up with Lord Percival. How much did you have, my queen?

[B]

What are points? What are points but tally marks in the air?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Shouldn't it be connection and charisma and pure physical looks? Shouldn't your genes dictate what your score is? Shouldn't my mother and father and their status and the fact that they came together and fingered each other all night long which led to me being born? Shouldn't that be the score?

[A]

Ah. It's almost as if you read ahead on my script. Lord Percival Thistlewick.

[C]

He can read the score.

[A]

Doesn't matter. I'm going to let Ms. Riddlelock decide who she chooses.

[C]

Who's that?

[B]

Oh, fuck, she's. She has like a sheet over her. I forgot. She's here.

[A]

Yes, she's here. And she's very mysterious.

[C]

Oh, mate. I thought we were going for the queen. I've been doing nothing but innuendo to the queen. Shit.

[B]

Wait. Is mysterious.

[A]

Here she goes.

[B]

Shh.

[A]

And she winks.

[C]

Oh, yes, that's her with the big hat, a bunch of rings, and, like an interesting bird.

[A]

Ms. Riddlelock. Casey, if you want to do this, feel free.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

You have seen these men think, falter, boast, and reveal themselves instead of whoever won, deciding who you end up with, I will let you choose, and you may factor in whatever you please.

[B]

My queen, I never accept a man until he's fingered me on a set of stairs.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Yes, well, only one of these men was against the concept of fingering, so I suppose I'll have to pick the one who wasn't. Lord Percival Thistlewig.

[A]

Ah, a winner speech.

[B]

Wait, I'm. I'm four fingering.

[C]

That's what he is. No, no, no.

[B]

That's what.

[C]

What I mean. Oh, wait, you. You've been four fingering? Okay. Hey, props to you, brother.

[B]

Well, the thumb simply won't fit.

[C]

I've been maxing out at three. I've been maxing out at three. Two in the pink, one in the stink. Of course.

[A]

All right, I was going to say if anyone wants to say something about 400 episodes, but I think you've said enough.

[B]

400 episodes that we've done. Full of riddles.

[A]

400 episodes with stupid jokes.

[C]

We'll open up a podcast. Dance Santa Fe. I had nothing for that.

[A]

Dear listener, may your riddles be sharp, your dances brief, and. And your courtships be. Season 2 of Bridgerton levels hot. Don't come for me. That's the best season. Season four is also pretty good so far. I mean, they're all good, but Colin Bridgerton's not the best. Thank you so much, Casey. Auntie parrot to adult JPC and every listener for 400 episodes don't come for me.

[C]

Sounds like a servant on the stairs.

[A]

Ah, no point. Points. Take all of his points.

[C]

Take a bar. Give him freely. Milady. Milady. Now that we are done with the riddle portion of the show, should we retire maybe to your chambers and have some hot dogs?

[B]

Ah.

[A]

Ah, yes.

[B]

I'd like to see a scene.

[C]

See you in episode 401,

[B]

Sam.

[C]

Hey there, docents and owls. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's a museum. Lock in. You can listen to that, plus our entire back [e-mail] heyridleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[A]

That was a headgum podcast. Hey everyone, this is Natalie and this is Charlie. We're from the podcast Exploration Live. It's really funny. It's really good. It's really, really very good. And now we have a YouTube channel to go with it.

[C]

That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast exploration [e-mail]t. that means that in addition to the audio component, you're also getting a video component component. Exactly where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing, you know, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video.

[A]

Body language experts to the front.

[C]

Exactly. So come check out Xperson Live, either audio or video Score.

[A]

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