#401: Goodfella's But They're In Love

Summary

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Hey Riddle Riddle #401: Goodfella’s But They’re In Love

Date: March 25, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Guest: Sandy Weisz

Episode Overview

In this rollicking episode, the Hey Riddle Riddle crew (Adal, Erin, JPC) is joined by puzzle-maker Sandy Weisz for a characteristically chaotic blend of riddles, pun games, improvisational scenes, and pop culture tangents. The gang waxes nostalgic about 1980s porn parodies, dives into a riddle-themed wordplay game created by Sandy, riffs on movies and hats, and debates Spider-Man villains and puzzling traditions. As always, the laughs and digressions come fast and hilariously furious.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fake Review Crew Prank & 1980s Porn Parodies

• (00:01–03:10)
  JPC tricks the others into thinking they're doing a Patreon review crew episode reviewing the 1981 porno Sherlock Bones and the Adventure of the Engineer's Cock.
• The crew rattles off a rapid-fire list of imagined and real 80s porn parodies, including “Robocock,” “Missionary Impossible,” “Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dance Cock,” “Rear Window.”
  • Memorable quote:
    “I love the smell of nips in the morning.” – Adal (02:22)
• They keep spiraling off into pun games, eventually landing at: “Doggy Style Day Afternoon,” “12 Anal Men,” and “Taxi Driver – oh, I don't know Taxi Driver…”

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2. Romantic Goodfellas Improv Scene

• (06:00–08:54)
• Erin pitches a scene: What if characters in Goodfellas were in love?
• Adal and JPC play mobsters on a job, gradually revealing affection for each other amid the typical mobster banter.
  • Memorable quote:
    “Maybe. Depends on if you— We could clean up, but hey, listen, hey Johnny, I've been wanting to tell you something. I've been thinking about it since the last 12 holes I had people dig…” – Adal (07:45)
  • They finish each other's sentences, jokes, and “murders.”

---

3. Transition to Riddles & Crab/Snail Tangent

• (09:40–12:35)
• Finally turned to riddles. First up:
  Riddle: "I am constantly on the move and yet always at home. What am I?"
  Answer: Snail
• Leads to a hilarious tangent about crabs, hermit crabs, lobsters, and mermaids changing shells/clothing.

---

4. Improv: Junk Mail and Mailman Scene

• (12:08–15:30)
• Adal sets up an improv where JPC is a mailman delivering nothing but junk mail and Aaron the disgruntled recipient:
  • “Nowadays it's all junk mail. I want to have a conversation with my mailman about not wanting what he's giving out.”
• Tangents abound: text spam, side gigs converting texts into mail, chip bags large enough for both hands, and a brief Shark Tank gag.
• Memorable quote:
  “My side hustle is taking people's text messages and turning them into mail... helps my main hustle, too.” – JPC (14:33)

---

5. Zoo Tangent & Na’vi Conservation

• (16:21–18:43)
• A quick-fire ranking of best zoos and the suggestion that all zoos should have an Avatar Na’vi conservation exhibit.
  • “We don’t have a live Na’vi here because it would be unethical, but we’re gonna convince an entire generation that the Na’vi are real.” – JPC (17:51)

---

6. Long Tangent on Spider (Avatar), Bad Characters, and Letterboxd

• (18:34–22:27)
• The group (especially Adal and Erin) vent their dislike for Spider, the white boy with dreads from Avatar 2. Spider becomes a running punchline for “worst character of the last 600 years.”
• They riff on how Sideways' stars (Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church) both became Spider-Man villains.

---

7. Riddle Run: Rapid-Fire Riddles & Scenes

• (22:28–32:07)
• Return to riddles with a pun-laced improv tangent about hats (Erin describes a guy “peacocking” with a huge hat at a bar).
• Memorable quote:
  "It's as if Jamiroquai was dipped in Limp Bizkit." – Adal, on Mystery’s peacock-hat look (26:08)
• Dialogue spins out on the book The Game and pickup artist culture.

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8. Main Game: Sandy’s “Hey, Rattle Rattle” Word Ladder Game

• (44:21–66:00)
• Sandy reintroduces a custom game where you change one letter in a word (sometimes inserting a new mini-word) using clues to form a new word.
  • i.e., “Take ‘armor,’ replace a letter with a drink to get a place to sit.” (Answer: armchair → armchair)
  • Memorable multi-step puzzles:
    • “Jury” + currency = “Century”
    • “Peace” + grain = “Peacoat”
    • “Word ‘sofa’ replaced with an African country gives you another African country.” (“Mali” + “Sofa” = “Somalia”)
  • Memorable quote:
    "Casey posted a picture of Mystery in the chat... it's as if Jamiroquai was dipped in Limp Bizkit. Does that make sense?" – Adal (26:08)

---

9. Improv Tangents: Nude Spider-Man, Batman, and More

• (40:07–44:00)
• A running improv about nude versions of Spider-Man/Batman villains, with pun names and escalating absurdity (“Doc Cocktopus,” “Octopussy,” “Fetus Quinn," and "Pussy Woman").
• Memorable dialogue about how they'd adapt the characters and the absurdity of the endeavor.

---

10. Letterboxd, Crossword Puzzles & Meta-commentary

• (52:02–62:45)
• Erin reads and praises Sandy's Letterboxd reviews live.
• Discussion about the anxiety and logistics of Jeopardy taping (75 stories for Ken Jennings).
• Sandy describes competing in Midwestern crossword tournaments, making mistakes live on stage, and the supportive/fun community atmosphere.

---

11. Voicemail Listener Question

• (67:52–69:07)
• Listener Katie, a law student, asks which laws the hosts would like repealed.
  • Adal: “Murphy’s Law.”
  • Erin: “Law of Gravity. It’s weighing me down.”
  • JPC: Suggests seriously repealing the 22nd Amendment (not limiting presidential terms), then quickly jokes it's only in jest.

---

12. Patreon & Listener Review

• (70:00–71:37)
• Plug for Penguin Baseball League (PBL) on Patreon, hinting at big surprises.
• JPC reads a 5-star review that jokes about the hosts being force-fed riddles like geese being prepared for foie gras:
  • "If you get the Patreon, the level of torture ups with forced feedings and more control over their days and removal of their freedom. Are they okay? Are we okay? THIS IS FINE. Five stars." – Angry Pig

---

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• (02:22) Adal: “I love the smell of nips in the morning.”
• (07:45) Adal (mobster improv): “Hey, Johnny. I've been wanting to tell you something. I've been thinking about it since the last 12 holes I had people dig.”
• (14:33) JPC (junk mail improv): “My side hustle is taking people's text messages and turning them into mail... helps my main hustle, too.”
• (17:51) JPC: “We don’t have a live Na’vi here because it would be unethical, but we’re gonna convince an entire generation that the Na’vi are real.”
• (26:08) Adal: “It's as if Jamiroquai was dipped in Limp Bizkit. Does that make sense?”
• (40:36) Adal: “Green Lantern. Of course. Nude. Let’s see. Doc Cocktopus. That’s easy.”
• (44:00) Sandy: “This turned into a Thomas Haden Church Stan podcast.”
• (67:58) Katie (listener): “In the margins of one of my notebooks, I've written ‘free enforcement—judicial review can still get you pregnant,’ which none of my friends found as funny as I did.”
• (68:46) Adal: “I've had it with Murphy's Law. I've had it. Anything that possibly could go wrong, will go wrong—I'm done with Murphy's Law.”
• (71:46) JPC: “Except instead of goose meat, we are hot dogs.”

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Important Timestamps

• 00:01–03:10 | Porno parody poll/bit
• 06:00–08:54 | Goodfellas-in-love improv scene
• 09:40–12:35 | First riddles begin; snail/crab tangent
• 12:08–15:30 | Junk mail improv scene
• 16:21–18:43 | Zoo rankings, Avatar Na’vi bit
• 22:28–32:07 | Hats & peacocking/“The Game” tangent
• 44:21–66:00 | Sandy’s “Hey, Rattle Rattle” riddle/word game
• 67:52–69:07 | Listener voicemail re: repealing laws
• 70:00–71:37 | Patreon PBL plug & review reading

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Tone and Style

• The episode is quintessentially loose, fast-paced, and teeming with dry self-deprecation, absurd improv, playful digs, and layered puns.
• The guest (Sandy) matches the hosts in quick-witted irreverence and brings meticulously crafted, but gleefully silly, wordplay puzzles.
• Listeners expecting structure will find the order in chaos; fans will relish the comic back-and-forth and meta-commentary on podcasting itself.

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Conclusion

This episode encapsulates the spirit of Hey Riddle Riddle: part riddle-solving, part improv chaos, part pop culture dissection, and all comedy. With Sandy’s inventive word puzzles, marauding tangents about hats and zoo exhibits, and giddy movie riffing, #401 is jam-packed with laughs and linguistic gymnastics—a can’t-miss for regular “Clue Crew” fans and a wild introduction for newcomers.

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Transcript

[JPC]

This is a headgun podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice ray. And the horse is being Friday. Hey, everybody, and welcome back to the $8 tier review crew. That is right. Based on your votes this month, we reviewed the 1981 porno Sherlock Bones and the Adventure of the Engineer's Cock. So Adol.

[Aaron Keefe]

Some of us reviewed it several times.

[JPC]

I gotta say, I. You know, the 80s, that was the time for porn parodies. I mean, tell me why.

[Adorfai]

Tell me why.

[JPC]

I think it was the lighting. It was before the hulification came along and turned all of the color of the world down, you know, to the level that we're at now. But the 80s, man. Oh, they knew how to light a porno.

[Adorfai]

Um, let's list some more that we. We didn't review.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Oh, so the other options on the poll. Well, there. Okay, yeah, yeah, we didn't review robocock. We all watched it and we thought, there's not enough here. People hate when we review something so good that there's just not enough there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Missionary. Impossible.

[JPC]

Yeah, from 81.

[Aaron Keefe]

Shut up. Shut up. I did it, didn't I? Followed the rules. I did it, didn't I?

[Adorfai]

Taryn is so young, so young. She can't possibly fathom a time before. Mission Impossible 1 with Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour.

[Aaron Keefe]

Apocalypse Now.

[JPC]

Apocalypse Now.

[Sandy]

Apocalypse.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was out by 1980.

[Sandy]

Yes, right, yeah, sure.

[JPC]

Apocalypse Now.

[Adorfai]

I love the smell of nips in the morning.

[JPC]

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance cock. Oh, no

[Adorfai]

butch cockity in this cock, Cassidy.

[JPC]

We gotta do it a bunch. Oh, you know what Casey says, Aaron. Mission Impossible. The show was in the 60s, so

[Aaron Keefe]

everybody shut up for a couple of weeks.

[Adorfai]

Oh, we were talking about the 80s, so that worked out.

[JPC]

That was great.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rear Window.

[JPC]

Okay. What would that be? Yeah, Rear Window. That works.

[Sandy]

You're right.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's fine.

[Adorfai]

It's just a one and done.

[JPC]

I have something to say. This is actually a. A big joke on you guys because this isn't even a review crew episode. I made you guys watch those 80s pornos for absolutely nothing. Well, not for nothing.

[Aaron Keefe]

Not for nothing.

[Adorfai]

The bass guitar was incredible.

[Aaron Keefe]

I learned so much about the bass guitar.

[JPC]

About the bass guitar. This is just an episode of. Hey, Riddle Riddle, the podcast. I'm jpc.

[Adorfai]

I'm Adorfai.

[Aaron Keefe]

And I'm Sherlock Bones himself, Aaron Keefe. I'm going to solve all the riddles and puzzles today.

[JPC]

Is there a better one than Sherlock Bones for a porn parody of Sherlock Holmes. I don't know. Sherlock Bones and wet and Watch some. Watch some.

[Adorfai]

Probably Shercock.

[JPC]

Could it be like Shercock. Watch some.

[Aaron Keefe]

You know, I studied pink. What else?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

The House of Buttserville, Sherhot, Wife Homes.

[Adorfai]

The Hounds of Butserville.

[Aaron Keefe]

That is. It's one of my worst ever.

[Adorfai]

Pretty incredible.

[JPC]

Have you guys ever read a Sherlock Holmes book?

[Adorfai]

I read the Hounds of Baskerville in 8th grade.

[Aaron Keefe]

I remember having to read a section of it for school, but I've never read a book.

[JPC]

I don't think I ever read any Sherlock Holmes because they're from the early 19th century. Right. Or I guess late 19th century, I think.

[Adorfai]

Yeah. Early 1900s, maybe.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

I remember reading in the same school year we read Hounds of Baskerville and I was like, this is fine. And then we read Mask of the Red Death, I think, which is by Edgar Grand Poe. And I thought that was incredible. And I thought Hounds of Baskerville was fine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Doggy Style Day afternoon. 12 anal men.

[JPC]

Doggy Style Day afternoon Delight. We play that game where we just keep adding to it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. I don't know Taxi Driver.

[JPC]

I haven't investigated it, but I don't know if the Sherlock Holmes books are books where you as the reader can get the mystery or if Sherlock Holmes is like, I know the mystery because of secret information that, you know, I haven't given you yet, type of thing where he's like, I intuited this, but you, the humble reader, did not.

[Adorfai]

Yeah, I feel like there is. It is a little tricky in terms of like, they hold their cards close to the chest from what I remember. But this is eighth grade, so.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

Hey, it's a crapshoot.

[JPC]

You remember the title from eighth grade? Hey, to me that's still pretty impressive.

[Adorfai]

Well, I think Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman.

[JPC]

Oh, that's right.

[Adorfai]

Gave a little bit of a help.

[JPC]

They kind of gave you the bump set on that one for later in life. Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm trying to think of one for Jaws.

[Adorfai]

Hey, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep, what's up?

[Adorfai]

Hey, Adam, sweetie, what's going on?

[Aaron Keefe]

To Kiss a Mockingbird. And it's sort of like, right,

[Adorfai]

yeah, let's make it more romantic and less horny.

[JPC]

More romantic and less horny.

[Adorfai]

12 kissing men kissing impossible.

[JPC]

12 angry kisses.

[Adorfai]

Talk to hate After Kiss. Kiss fellas. God kisser.

[Aaron Keefe]

What if God kiss her.

[JPC]

What if you watched a porn parody called Kiss Fellas? It's like, I would like to Steps below softcore.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys are sort of like henchmen in Godfellas. You're in that universe, and you guys are in a car on a job. You're about to, like, show someone why they messed with the wrong guys. And one of you is gonna admit that you're in love with the other one.

[Adorfai]

I called Joe Pesci one. I called Joe Pesci one.

[JPC]

Okay, but are we in the movie Godfellas?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, you're in Goodfellas. We'll have you be in Goodfellas. And you?

[JPC]

We're in Goodfellas. We're just in love. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

So I took him to the desert and I said, start digging.

[JPC]

Classic. Classic move.

[Adorfai]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

Did he. Did he do it?

[Adorfai]

He did it. They're never gonna find him. Oh, I got so many holes in the desert. No one's gonna find them.

[JPC]

I can never get them to dig in the desert. Cause they know, you know?

[Adorfai]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah. They're like. I don't think.

[Adorfai]

I'm like, if you're gonna kill me

[JPC]

doing sewer pipes out here, I think I'll probably dig in my own grave. Right?

[Adorfai]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fellas, if you're gonna kill me, just kill me.

[Adorfai]

Oh, yeah. Start digging.

[JPC]

No. Yeah, well, not in the car. Hold on. Not in the car.

[Adorfai]

The floorboards.

[JPC]

I just had this Cadillac detailed.

[Adorfai]

Ah, dang. And we gotta clean out brain. Maybe.

[JPC]

Maybe.

[Adorfai]

Depends on if you.

[JPC]

We could clean up. But,

[Adorfai]

hey, listen. Hey, Johnny. I've been wanting to tell you something. I've been thinking about it since the last 12 holes I had people dig.

[JPC]

Sit tight back there. Sit tight back there. We're having an adult conversation.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think your smile guy shot me in the chest.

[Sandy]

Huh?

[Aaron Keefe]

You shot me in the chest. And it didn't kill me, dad. Oh, my God.

[Adorfai]

They always say aim for center mass. And I'm from center mass.

[JPC]

Oh, I'm from cinemass. We've got so much in common. It's like we finish each other's Gobagool Seed. Seed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, brother.

[JPC]

We finish each other's sopresot. We finish each other's.

[Aaron Keefe]

Finish each other's Peshes Sandwiches.

[Adorfai]

Pesci's murders.

[Aaron Keefe]

We finish each other's murders. Aw.

[JPC]

Mm. Stand by, cock.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stand by. Second person I'm about to sleep with.

[Adorfai]

Hey, let's do riddles.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why?

[JPC]

Yeah, I guess we can do riddles. It's probably better than what we were planning on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pulp friction.

[Adorfai]

Okay.

[JPC]

Pulp friction sounds good.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's not good.

[Adorfai]

All right.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gone with the Winded. After sex.

[Adorfai]

Aaron, get on top, sweetie.

[JPC]

This is just lower than Spinal Tap,

[Adorfai]

Right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. We really ran out. All right, now I'm convinced. We ran out. Let's do riddles.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

All right.

[Adorfai]

Let's do some riddles here.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adorfai]

How is everyone? We doing good?

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[Adorfai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't. GPZ just came up with the best one, and now we're done with them. And he did the best one. I'm miserable over here.

[JPC]

Asking how is everyone? 10 minutes into a group conversation in 2026, in late March of 2020 is a horror crime. That is a war crime to do to people.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep.

[Adorfai]

Okay, here's a riddle. I am constantly on the move and yet always at home. What am I?

[JPC]

It's a snail. Snail. Crab. Crab.

[Adorfai]

It's a snail.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, that makes more sense than what I said. Mute. What I said Enter.

[Adorfai]

And I do have to have a quick side conversation with gpc.

[Aaron Keefe]

Of course. I'll see you guys later.

[Adorfai]

Gpc. Do you think crabs are kind of like snails where they can get out of their shells? I mean, we can take them out of our shells.

[JPC]

Of course. I think.

[Aaron Keefe]

I bet they're talking about me. I bet my ears are burning.

[JPC]

Hold on now. I really do think that they are. Do hermit crabs find different shells now?

[Adorfai]

Okay, now hermit crabs can find different shells.

[JPC]

Oh, okay, now I get what you were saying, and I do sound insane.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm starting to think that they're not talking about me because they're smiling.

[Adorfai]

That's like saying, like, a lobster takes off a shell and changes little. Like, what do mermaids do? They put little starfish pasties or clamshell pasties.

[JPC]

That's like saying, like, as dogs grow older, they, like, crawl into different dog hair.

[Adorfai]

They, like, sort of Ed Geen their way in. Yes, it is a snail, and I would like to see a scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, guys.

[Adorfai]

Oh, Aaron, I'm so sorry. I forgot to. Let me open the door. Sorry about that. You were trying to squeeze through the mail slot.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, that's fine. I got. I'm fine. I peed outside. I did my business. I'm ready to come back in.

[Adorfai]

You seem stuck in the mail slot.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can I. Can someone just either pull me from the front or push me from the back?

[JPC]

Casey, clip it. Clip it all night long. Casey, go ahead and clip that all. Yeah, for me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pvc. Aren't you numb? Aren't you numb? At this point, it's actually.

[JPC]

Aaron, it's like. It's like stabbing myself with a little needle. It's the only thing I don't love the way it makes me feel, but just a feel.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just feel at all. Anything, you know, I'm ready for my scene.

[Adorfai]

Snail makes me think, of course, of snail mail. Not the artist, but the post person. So I do want to see a scene where JPC will have you be a post postman. Aaron, you are someone who owns a home. And jpc, you're dropping off the mail. And Aaron, nowadays it's just all junk mail. So you're having sort of a hard conversation with your mailman about not wanting what he's giving out.

[JPC]

Here's what I won't do. Adol. I won't play Post Malone, but only because I don't know how to do it. I don't know what he sounds like, but it was all I was thinking about. But I will instead do the scene that you describe.

[Adorfai]

I want to say a song is like, I know.

[JPC]

Sunflower, you're my sunflower. I know that the spider man one, but I think he's done, like, a bunch of countries. That's the same one I was thinking about. All right, so instead I'll be a post man who is delivering the mail to Aaron. And then the layout is what?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. He truly wasn't listening.

[JPC]

No, I was, but then I talked about Post Malone too much.

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like you're bringing me mail that I don't want.

[Adorfai]

I feel like nowadays all mail is junk mail. So it's just Aaron kind of trying to shut this down.

[JPC]

Unfortunately, this is the only thing keeping the postal industry alive, because the only people that send things is junk mail.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nailing my mail slot shut.

[JPC]

Oh, federal crime. No, now it's a federal crime. Do you live here?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, this is my house.

[JPC]

Never mind.

[Aaron Keefe]

Turn around.

[JPC]

Technically, turn around. I hate to be this guy, but that is property of the federal government. That's actually not. That's not your property. Even though it's on your house, it

[Aaron Keefe]

kind of belongs my door. You're addicted to giving me nonsense mail. You have a problem, man.

[JPC]

You can turn around, walk away the companies and request that they stop sending you the mail. But I, I. If it comes, I have to deliver it.

[Aaron Keefe]

I've tried that, and now they send me text blasts. Every day I wake up in the morning and I think I've gotten a text from the love a loved one. I get zero text from loved ones. And it's like, hey, have you tried this coupon code? For some.

[JPC]

There's a service that you can get that will remove all of those texts from Your phone. And instead, what they'll do is they'll put it all in a letter and then they'll mail you that letter every day.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

So it's like instead of getting the text, you can just get it all via the mail if you want that service.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't want that service.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's.

[JPC]

I'm trying to start. I have a side gig. It's like everybody has to have a side hustle. My side hustle is taking people's text messages and turning them into mail.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

Kind of helps my main hustle, too. I'm not going to lie. You know, one hand feeding the other hand.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, brother, I'm trying to.

[JPC]

One hand feeding both hands feeding my mouth. Chips. Are you familiar? Have you ever eaten chips with both hands?

[Aaron Keefe]

Please don't tell me on something. I'm trying to have a human moment with you.

[JPC]

Please stop giving me. Now I'm thinking about a product that's a bag big enough that when you open it, you can get both hands inside and eat chips with both hands. Hey, wide chip bags. You know, chip bags are longer than they're, like, taller than. They all are wide. What if instead it was a chip bag on its side with, like a Ziploc thing?

[Aaron Keefe]

Brother, I got good news. It fresh for you.

[JPC]

What's that?

[Aaron Keefe]

My name is Mr. Wonderful. I'm from Shark Tank. Would you like to come on the show so we can hunt you for sport?

[JPC]

Oh, my God. I would love to sell you a shark tank. I have an idea for a seed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Although. Wait, jpc How? Sell me a shark tank.

[JPC]

Sell me a shark tank. I truly don't want to sell you a shark tank. But why?

[Aaron Keefe]

Because you don't have access to one.

[JPC]

I know a zoo in Brookfield, Illinois, that has an excellent shark tank.

[Adorfai]

Now, Lincoln Park Zoo.

[JPC]

Well, it's the Brookfield Zoo in Lincoln Park. Yes. What's funny is the Lincoln Park Zoo is the free zoo in Chicago. And the Lincoln Park Zoo is a pretty good zoo. It's like a pretty good free zoo. Brookfield is better. But I've been to Brookfield way more than I've been to the free one in Lincoln Park. I did the thing where I got myself a yearly membership to the zoo.

[Adorfai]

Okay.

[JPC]

And then every time I'm not going to the zoo, I'm losing money. Basically.

[Adorfai]

I would say San Diego, Columbus and St. Louis have the three best zoos I've ever been.

[JPC]

Oh, I've been to San Diego. I've been to Columbus. What was the third one? St. Louis no, never been to St. Louis.

[Aaron Keefe]

I've never been to Columbus. What's going on over there in Columbus?

[Adorfai]

I think Jack Hannah just set up a really nice foundation there.

[JPC]

That makes sense. That makes sense.

[Adorfai]

He came out of the Columbus Zoo, I believe. And so I think he just really. It drew a lot of people, which boosted revenues, which allowed them to sort of expand and have just really nice programs and everything. So, yeah, that's very nice to see us. Aaron, have you ever been to a zoo?

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like I'm in one right now.

[Adorfai]

Jbc, what were you gonna say?

[JPC]

I would say that I don't think it's like a zoo, but there's that park in Disney, that Animal Kingdom is what it's called, the Disney park, where I think they also have animals, but

[Aaron Keefe]

I also can't see the safari thing.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah. But they also have Avatar World. But I think. I think that all zoos should also have to include, like, some portion that's devoted to the navi. Like, if you're like a little zoo,

[Aaron Keefe]

any fantasy ip, I would like it if it was.

[JPC]

If it was exclusively the Na'.

[Adorfai]

Vi.

[JPC]

Like, it was like, hey, like, we also believe in the conservation of the Na' Vi people. We. We don't have a live navi here because it would be unethical, but we're

[Aaron Keefe]

going to convince an entire generation that the Na' Vi are real.

[JPC]

I think it would be okay to do.

[Adorfai]

It would be. I remember going on maybe five, six years ago, we went on the. On the safari. Animal Planet, Animal Planet, Animal Kingdom. And it was like, Animal Planet is

[JPC]

Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone's failed restaurant. Right.

[Sandy]

Where they.

[Adorfai]

It's a bunch of animals for movies.

[JPC]

Gorilla serving you martinis.

[Adorfai]

But I remember being on the safari, I was like, oh, this is. This feels dangerous. Like, it feels like too open air or something for Disney. Disneyland feels way safe. And it felt like this was, like, a bit of a risk. But it would be funny to see, like, hippos and rhinos, whatever. And then they're like. And here's a white boy with dreads, and no one. No one looked them in the eyes.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love spider.

[JPC]

Aaron loves spider.

[Adorfai]

Spider, by far the worst character of the last, I want to say, since the beginning of cinema.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I would say last 600 years.

[Adorfai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm thinking back to some, like, Shakespeare.

[Adorfai]

Thinking back to, like, Moliere.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm thinking back to Tartuffe.

[Adorfai]

I'm thinking we're back. Tartufe.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

I think we're back to Tartuffe. John Wick. John Wick talking theater.

[JPC]

Tartuffe pulling his collar, looking at Spider.

[Adorfai]

Yeesh. You guys, what character have we here? Pirandello's like six characters in search of an author. But not this guy. Right.

[Aaron Keefe]

Spider was the lead of the newest Avatar.

[JPC]

The lead, Dante, making a new circle outside of all those other circles, being like, I got a new one for you.

[Adorfai]

Brecht. Bertolt Brecht. Also making a circle.

[JPC]

Yeah. The funniest part about Spider being the lead of that Avatar movie is that he was a big part of the first one. And everyone was like, okay. James Cameron was like, no, I'm gonna make you love Spider.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm doubling the fuck down. I went to the bathroom to get a hot dog. When I was watching the new Avatar, and I came back to.

[JPC]

You went to the bathroom to get a hot dog?

[Aaron Keefe]

I went to the bathroom and to get a hot dog, and I was gone so long, and I came back to my seat, and Rylan leaned over to tell me what I had missed, and I went, I don't care. Hot dogs.

[JPC]

Did Erin. Did Erin say that she went to the bathroom to get a hot dog?

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't answer that question.

[Adorfai]

Let's check the tape.

[Aaron Keefe]

You don't have to answer a question without your lawyer present.

[JPC]

If it's on the tape, I want a clip of it because I'll need it for later, Obviously.

[Adorfai]

I do like that our podcast is slowly becoming the NFL. We got to review it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep.

[Adorfai]

We got to review.

[JPC]

It's fucking boring to watch. And it's people just hurting themselves.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep.

[Adorfai]

I do feel like that kid who

[JPC]

plays the commercials suck.

[Adorfai]

I feel like the kid who played Spider probably went to, like, an acting coach. And they're like, oh, dear boy, what brings you into acting school? And he's like, well, I just wrapped three Avatar movies. And he's like, oh, dear boy, you should have come before the movies not to get.

[Aaron Keefe]

James Cameron told me not to too

[JPC]

far into the Spider of it all. But it's one of the situations. It's actually a hard situation because a lot of times when I see an actor in a movie who's absolutely whiffed, I'm like, that's partially on the actor. But that one. It's pretty easy to imagine that that guy. It's not really his fault because they're like, what are you acting against? You're acting against, like, a person covered in, like, tennis balls.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think they're covered in tennis ball.

[Adorfai]

Hoskins did it. If Bob Hoskins can do it, but

[JPC]

Bob Hoskins was an adult. He wasn't a child. Right.

[Adorfai]

I think James Cameron's. I think he saw into the Spider verse and he was like, that gives me an idea.

[JPC]

Yes, yes.

[Adorfai]

And I think he wanted to call Avatar 3. Avatar 3 into the spider verse.

[JPC]

Beyond the spider verse. Avatar 3 beyond the spider verse.

[Adorfai]

What if Miles Morales and Spider from Avatar did a buddy cop movie?

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold on, I can talk slower. I'm writing this down.

[JPC]

Beyond the Spider verse is coming out in 2027, which means it hasn't finished, like principal animation, I imagine. Which means that they still have a chance to put Spider in as a came from an alternate universe where he is the Spider man of that universe.

[Adorfai]

It's like in the. In across the Spider Verse, where Miles Morales is on whatever planet or dimension, and there's just. It's all animated Spider man, and then there's just actual Donald Glover in the flesh in a. In a cage.

[JPC]

Donald Glover's been in so many goddamn Spider man movies. It's crazy.

[Adorfai]

But it's funny. It's not even. He's just. Yeah, it's just him with real flesh. Like, it's very funny. All right, let's do another riddle here.

[Sandy]

Yes.

[Adorfai]

What has a stem but no roots?

[JPC]

Um.

[Aaron Keefe]

A brain.

[JPC]

Okay. Wow.

[Adorfai]

Yes, a brain.

[JPC]

Would it be like a dame? Don't you call a dame's getaway sticks stims?

[Adorfai]

Look at those getaway sticks. Look at this.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, if you want to slap in

[Adorfai]

the mouth from Judi Dench.

[JPC]

Well, obviously, yes, I want to slap in the mouth. That's why I wore this big hat, this trench coat.

[Adorfai]

Step on my neck, Maggie Smith.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, I went to a bachelorette party.

[JPC]

Congratulations.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, thanks. For my sweet friend and very talented comedian George Elrod. And there was a moment where I was sitting at a bar with Elizabeth Andrews and Shelby Plummer, my friend, and they started giggling, and I was like, what are you guys giggling about? And they're like, there is a man with the craziest hat in our eyesight. Like, Erin, you have to look. And I have my back to this man, and I look behind me to my left, and I immediately see the craziest, biggest hat I've ever seen on a man. And then I came back to center and I looked over my right, and they were dying. And they were like, did you think you were going to see a crazier hat on the other side? Like, I had hope in my heart that maybe it wasn't him.

[JPC]

That wasn't that guy. It was. That just happens to be a different crazy. Was he with anyone, Aaron?

[Aaron Keefe]

He was talking to a woman at a woman.

[Adorfai]

So I need you to describe this hat. Is this, like, a Pharrell Elmer Franklin situation?

[Aaron Keefe]

You know what? Like, you just know that guy, like, was in Austin or something shopping for hats.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

And he was like, do you think I can pull off a hat? And the person at the haberdashery was like, you look awesome in this. And he was, like, going for a whole new vibe. It felt like early 2000s indie singer, like, Jason Mraz.

[JPC]

Where was this? Aaron, where was it?

[Aaron Keefe]

This was in San Francisco.

[JPC]

San Francisco.

[Aaron Keefe]

I was gonna say I was there again. Huge hat. So disproportionate to be wearing it inside this tiny, like, white man with this huge hat.

[JPC]

Are you familiar with. And I can't remember if the name of the book is, like the game, but it's about the pickup artist mystery. Are you familiar with the pickup artist mystery? No.

[Aaron Keefe]

So this is not even ringing about.

[Adorfai]

So that's where negging comes from, right?

[JPC]

Nagging and peacocking.

[Adorfai]

What's peacocking?

[JPC]

Well, peacocking is $6.99 a month. No peacocking. It's more expensive than that is when you wear a big, bold hat, like, a crazy choice hat, so that people will have a reaction to the hat, and then you can, like, start a conversation because you're wearing a big crate.

[Aaron Keefe]

He read that book.

[JPC]

I have never in my life encountered a person doing that because I feel like this was, like, in the early two, that this was, like, a thing. But this is. That's crazy. That's you. You. And dare I say, I don't know where the man mystery is still operating, but you may have run into Mystery in the wild.

[Aaron Keefe]

Now that you're saying this, I had this exact thing happen that was 100% what it was. The fact that I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I was, like, expecting a crazy, like, chef's hat behind my right shoulder or something.

[Adorfai]

Unrete situation.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know. Yeah.

[JPC]

Casey posted a picture of Mystery in the chat. That's. Yeah, it's not even just the hat. It's like his whole wardrobe. The jacket, the eyeliner, the fingernails, the rings. Like, it's the peacocking. Yeah.

[Adorfai]

To describe this picture of Mystery that Casey sent, it's as if Jamiroquai was dipped in Limp Bizkit. Does that make sense?

[Aaron Keefe]

That's poetry.

[JPC]

It's hard to dip something in Limp Bizkit, but it Works. It works. Yeah. If any. There is. There's a podcast I really enjoy called if Books Could Kill. Or if Books Can. If Books Could Kill. But they review, like Airport Best Help or bestsellers. Like Airport Bestsellers. A lot of them are self help, but they reviewed that. There's an episode that they did where they reviewed whatever that book is called. I think it's the Pickup Artist or something like that. It's by the one that Mystery's in. And it's about a guy who, like, embedded himself in this, like, pickup culture. And like, it's. It's fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. It's a terrible, terrible thing, but absolutely fascinating nonetheless.

[Adorfai]

What a weird time the early 2000s were.

[JPC]

And it seems like some people out there still doing it. The fact that he was talking at a woman, like, seals the deal for me, like that says everything that I need to know about that.

[Adorfai]

Do you think. Do you think 90s musician Seal ever used that pickup line, let's seal the Deal? And they kind of winks.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would if I were him.

[JPC]

If I'm being honest, I don't even know that he would need the wink. Honestly, I think if he says that steals.

[Adorfai]

Handsome man. Great voice. What has a stem but no roots?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. We were in the middle of a riddle.

[JPC]

Is it like a rose? Roses have stems. Eren was great with Brains have stems.

[Adorfai]

That's steel talking right now.

[JPC]

Okay. That a rose stem.

[Adorfai]

What has a stem but no.

[JPC]

What is it? Doesn't stem stand for, like, science, technology, engineering, and math or something like that?

[Aaron Keefe]

It does.

[JPC]

Okay, so is it that.

[Adorfai]

So is it that you guys are on the right track with, like, brain and rose?

[JPC]

A stem. The vase has a stem or wine glass that's.

[Adorfai]

Oh, it's a wine glass.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my goodness. I would like to see a scene.

[JPC]

Okay,

[Aaron Keefe]

jpc, you and I will be a couple at a fancy, like, Napa Valley wine tasting, and we don't. We have umbrage with the glasses. So we're gonna complain to ADOL about the type of glasses our wine has been served in.

[JPC]

Oh, excuse me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Excuse me.

[JPC]

Before you pour. Excuse me. Because I could see you're already reaching for the bottle for the next pour. I believe that my partner and I maybe received the. This is awkward to say the incorrect wine glasses for the tasting event.

[Adorfai]

Oh, no. We've hand selected these glasses to accentuate and bring out the fruits and flavors of our wines.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a good cup. Bad cup situation. You don't want me to start complaining. These look like Olive Garden glasses.

[Adorfai]

Did you say good cup, bad cup?

[Aaron Keefe]

Did I?

[JPC]

These are. And my wife is correct. These are more in the bad cup varietal. And when she says olive Garden glasses. These are plastic Olive Garden kids cups with. It looks like kind of projections of maps of Italy on them and like breadsticks, and they're plastic. But we see other people. People have elegant stemmed wine glasses.

[Adorfai]

I see what you're accusing me of, which is going to a Salvation army last night to scramble for the opening of this vineyard. But I assure you, these were handcrafted by a master. I want to say Blowman, you want

[Aaron Keefe]

to say

[Adorfai]

who tasted our wines for. For months and months and decided that this vessel is the perfect. Well, vessel for our wine. Now sip it from the sippy cups. Look at the map of Italy and know that these grapes came nowhere from here, but actually from right here in Sonoma. Well, we're not in Sonoma. This is more. I'd say East Oakland, but Sonoma is a whisper away.

[Aaron Keefe]

You really fumbled the ball at the last minute here. You should have thought ahead. This is the most important part of the presentation. Honey, am I wrong?

[JPC]

Break all of the wine glasses last night. Were you having, like, a.

[Adorfai]

Who said I broke all the wine glasses? Who said I got drunk and fell backwards into a large shelf that I stupidly put all the glasses, noticing that

[Aaron Keefe]

his entire back is bleeding.

[JPC]

Look, we want to help you out, but we paid 85 for this tasting. And just give us our money back. We'll go on our way.

[Adorfai]

We'll.

[JPC]

We'll leave a three star review. That's fair. Three stars is fair.

[Adorfai]

Deal. Deal.

[JPC]

We'll take the cops because they're awesome,

[Adorfai]

but you have to yelp. It was nice. You have to yelp that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can we put nice in quotation marks?

[Adorfai]

Deal.

[JPC]

This guy's terrible at deals. What are the worst at deals?

[Adorfai]

See? What are the worst at deals? Well, here's the deal is we need to take a break. So let's all swirl our glasses and let these brittles. Let these brittles breathe.

[JPC]

I broke mine. I swirled it and it broke.

[Aaron Keefe]

Mine broke.

[Adorfai]

All right, give me the glasses. We'll be right back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, gpc. Can you guys help me figure something out?

[JPC]

Oh, sure.

[Aaron Keefe]

Always.

[Adorfai]

I have this charge. I pull up my bank account here. I have this charge that says JPC tax, $5,000. It's like a monthly deduction.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I. Yes. No, no. I go to your Rocket Money app and have them cancel that. Thank God we signed up for the free trial, like, three months ago and then we forgot about it and I noticed it. I got like a ping from Rocket Money in my email and they let me know that I had been paying for.

[JPC]

Lost another one to Rocket Money. Oh, man. Yeah. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Unless you're me with the GPC tax and then your savings are dwindling. With Rocket Money, you can do automatic transaction categorization across your accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns and add context. Also, if you have like in a big event coming up, like something that, like a wedding or some monumental expense, it helps you plan and save for something like that.

[Aaron Keefe]

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years and years, way before they were ever a sponsor. And I love how easy it is to read and how intuitive it is.

[Adorfai]

Yeah, I love Rocket Money. But Aaron, I do hate that voice. Was that jpc? It sounded like a Rumpelstiltskin type voice. Did you hear that?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

No. So that's just like. That's a voice alert I have on my phone every time someone unsubscribes to the JPC tax. I don't know where it's from or how to turn it off.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, that's kind of scary. We'll deal with that later.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

Well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle

[JPC]

lost another one to Rocket Money.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that's not even coming from your phone.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

Is that coming from inside of our heads? Maybe.

[JPC]

Yeah, like heaven maybe.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yoiks Blake's JPC it's that time of the year where all of my goals have kind of gone out the window because I am busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. And it is hard to figure out like when to cook and when to go grocery shopping and meal planning. I'm exhausted.

[JPC]

Aaron, my friend, you look it. But have I told you about Tempo? Tempo delivers fresh chef crafted dietitian proof meals right to your door. Plus each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast without the sad desk lunch or drive through regret at all. I know you love Tempo.

[Adorfai]

Oh yes, I don't often. I love the word scrumptious. I don't get to Use it often. These options are scrumptious and healthy. I've been enjoying the five spice glazed chicken thighs, the Chili shrimp rice bowl, and one of my favorites, the Picante Carnitas pork rice bowl. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

[Aaron Keefe]

And no matter what your goals, there's a Tempo meal for you. Protein packed meals with up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious and even GLP1 balanced meals. It's convenient, but also flexible enough to fit the way you want to eat. I look it. I look tired.

[JPC]

Look, Aaron, for a limited time and that might be all you have, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to Tempo meals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle R I D D L E for 60% off your first box. Tempo meals.com riddle Rules and restrictions may apply.

[Aaron Keefe]

I look it. I look it.

[Adorfai]

You're standing in front of a mirror.

[Aaron Keefe]

I look it.

[Adorfai]

They do exist.

[JPC]

Finally. I've crossed through fields and I have climbed through mountains. And here I am at the great temple to ask the master. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Adorfai]

Yes.

[JPC]

Oh, how do I. What do I. How do I. Where do I go to buy a car? How do I buy a car?

[Adorfai]

Ah, you've come to the right place for we are the car gurus.

[JPC]

Yeah. And I kind of came all this way, but then I heard that actually it, it's a website and I could just go to the website.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. JPC. With CarGurus Discover, you can skip the filter to describe what you're looking for in your own words. Simply type what you want and Cargurus Discover instantly surfaces real listings that match your exact needs. It's so easy. You don't have to go on this long journey while you're buying a new car.

[JPC]

Yeah. And honestly, I could have used the car to go on the journey because I walked most of this way and

[Sandy]

it was like, yikes on roads.

[JPC]

So it's like roads were, you know, I should have had car.

[Aaron Keefe]

Scary.

[Adorfai]

It's no wonder. Cargurus is the number one most visited car shopping site according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data. Have you brought a offering?

[JPC]

Yeah, I mean, I have an offering and I'm also looking. That dealership mode on Cargurus app puts you in control. You can compare side by side, check pricing and estimate your final cost so you can navigate the dealership with confidence. And with more than 4 million listings, CarGurus has the biggest selection of cars, so it's easier than ever. To find the right car and the right deal. I honestly, I feel like walking all this way was kind of a waste. Mama.

[Sandy]

No, mama.

[Adorfai]

Not a waste.

[Sandy]

Mama.

[Adorfai]

Buy or sell your next car today with [e-mail]. go to cargurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C A R G u r u s.com cargurus.com Mama and Casey, I

[JPC]

know I never do this, but I'm gonna need a clip of Adol saying no mama. Carguru Mama.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I would like one too for personal use.

[Adorfai]

Mamas for all.

[JPC]

Okay, well, let me just do my final measurements here. Seems everything seems even. Check the doors. Adel. Aaron. I have, using my skills as a woodworker, have crafted a well built wardrobe.

[Aaron Keefe]

A magical one where you can go into a magical world.

[JPC]

No, I tried it. It's just wood, but it's well built.

[Adorfai]

Gpc. When we said every adult should have sort of a well built wardrobe, we didn't mean like the actual frame, like an actual wooden wardrobe. We went like in a quince way. Like, you know, like having a lot of adult well made, like quality clothing that lasts, quality pieces that work together, they hold up over time. You know, that's what Quince does best. We told you that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, Lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season. I have a raincoat from them that I love, jvc.

[Adorfai]

I held you down sort of Clockwork orange style and held open your eyes while I showed you that quince's premium materials, thoughtful design and everyday staples feel easy to wear and they're easy to rely on even as the weather shifts in Chicago.

[JPC]

This is making sense now because I was like you were talking about how quints works directly with top factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. That's what you said and that's what you were doing with my eyes. And can I be honest with you? I did not build that well of a wardrobe. I mean, this thing is pretty loose.

[Adorfai]

No, it's pretty loose.

[JPC]

You can knock it over with a feather.

[Adorfai]

Oh, a nail just went right through my thumb.

[JPC]

That's the best case scenario.

[Aaron Keefe]

They only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I love their home stuff. I love their clothes. I can always count on them for the best quality.

[JPC]

So don't be like that. Absolute fool. JPC. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't be foolish. Like JPC right now go to quint.comriddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling. For clothes that don't last, go to Quince. Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Riddle R I D D L E Quince. Quince. Quince.

[Adorfai]

My name is Mr. Tumnus. Please come with me.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm going.

[JPC]

He's. He came with the thing. I. I found him on Fiverr.

[Adorfai]

Aaron. Jpc. Pretty big news. I just got cast as the director of a new Spider Man. Yes, they're casting directors now.

[JPC]

Oh, an all nude Spider Man.

[Adorfai]

Yes, it's an all nude Spider Man. I'm just going to take some risks and that's all we can ask. Of course, I have to bring back some of the old faves. We're talking Electro. We're talking Doc. Doctopos.

[Aaron Keefe]

Doc. Oct, Green Lantern.

[JPC]

Doc. Hold on.

[Adorfai]

Green Lantern.

[JPC]

Of course. Nude. Let's see. Doc Cocktopus. That's easy.

[Adorfai]

Doc Cocktopus.

[JPC]

Alec. Octro. Easy.

[Adorfai]

Yep, yep.

[Aaron Keefe]

I meant Green Goblin.

[JPC]

I think you know what this game advice like doing a nude version of Spider man villains. It reminds me of like doing like one of Sandy's like sandbox games.

[Aaron Keefe]

You could have let Adol cook. He was gonna get there.

[Adorfai]

Get where?

[JPC]

What do you mean? What do you mean?

[Adorfai]

Oh, Sandman. Sandman will never be in my Spider Man.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, of course.

[Adorfai]

But Sandy can be on. Hey, Riddle.

[Aaron Keefe]

Riddle.

[JPC]

Thomas Hayden. Cock.

[Sandy]

If there was a new Batman you could have, the Scarecrow would just be a pile of straw.

[Aaron Keefe]

Love that. Oh, someone get DC on the phone. Quick, quick, quick. Call him.

[Sandy]

Call. Use the Bat phone.

[Aaron Keefe]

A Bat signal on the side.

[Sandy]

I don't think I want to see Superman nude though.

[JPC]

Yeah, you wouldn't do the Joker. You would do Joe Cocker. Wait, that's another guy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold on, Pussy woman. We're working on it. We're working on it. We're not working hard on it, but we're working on it.

[Sandy]

Well, you have Doc Ock and Catwoman together.

[Adorfai]

You get Octopussy the Penis. Quinn,

[Aaron Keefe]

again. We have all of our best guys on it.

[Adorfai]

I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of Fetus. Quinn. Stacy. Sandy. Thank you so much for coming on. It's always a lightning treat.

[Sandy]

And were you going to go down a road to the Sandman villain? Is that where you're going with that?

[Adorfai]

No, I was just bringing up Spider Man.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adorfai]

Does Spider man have a sand villain?

[Sandy]

Oh, I don't know. I've heard rumors. I've only been called Sandman a few times in my life. What's that?

[JPC]

Were you on a pickup basketball team? Who called you Sandman?

[Sandy]

Oh, lots of people over the years. Because Spider man and his villains occupy such a dominant place in our pop culture, Especially Thomas Hayden Church's Sandman. He's referenced at the Oscars every year. Right. He's. He's in a meme culture, isn't there?

[JPC]

Every year.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. The lifeblood of the zeitgeist, for sure.

[Sandy]

Thomas Hayden Church is in the new Knives out movie. He plays a character in Wake Up, Dead Man. And his name. The movie has a lot to say about religion and the church. It takes place in a church and his name is Thomas Hayden Church and. Exactly. My letterboxd review was like, thomas Hayden Church. More like Thomas Hayton Church. So many likes. Like two at least.

[Aaron Keefe]

Follow you on letterbox. Now, before I forget, everyone go do that.

[Adorfai]

It is wild that the two leads of Sideways are canonically Spider man villains.

[JPC]

That's right. Oh, Paul Giamatti was the Rhino.

[Sandy]

Yeah, the rhino.

[Adorfai]

Watching Sideways. I would not be like, these two. Gotta get in these schlubs super suits

[JPC]

in one of the. Andrew. Well, first of all, Thomas Hayden Church is not a schlub.

[Sandy]

Thomas Hayden Church is kind of schlubby in movie, though.

[JPC]

In Sideways.

[Sandy]

In Sideways, isn't he?

[JPC]

No, no. In Sideways, he's like. He's like, handsome and stupid. He's not really schlubby. He's like, right handsome and stupid. Yeah, dopey.

[Adorfai]

Dopey.

[Sandy]

Yeah, he's more dopey. Okay, that's a nuance.

[Adorfai]

The other five.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, there we go.

[Adorfai]

Doc Ock, Schlubby.

[JPC]

This is.

[Sandy]

This turned into a Thomas Hayden Church Stan podcast.

[JPC]

Which we do.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't mind if I do. Don't mind if I do.

[Adorfai]

Take me to Thomas Hayden Church.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adam, Just a couple extra syllables. Adam. There's a couple not so he's noticed.

[Adorfai]

Oh, you think Weird Al gets it in one?

[JPC]

Sandy, besides this fun Spider man game that you've brought for us, what else have you brought for us in your sandbox segment today?

[Sandy]

Oh, yeah, I have some stuff for you. This is a reprise of something I did a few months ago, which I called hey, Rattle. Rattle, based on the hit online daily word game called Rattle that I make. I have a series of I'm Going to give you a word and a clue, and in this game, you're going to change one word into a new word. And the way that works is I'm going to give you a starting word and then I'm going to give you a clue for a word that you have to replace one letter in the original word with this new word to get an entirely longer new word. So, for example, I didn't explain that very well, so I'm just going to give you an example. This is an example from the last big word.

[JPC]

Yep.

[Sandy]

Yeah. Insert a small word into a big small into another word to get a bigger word, all of which will be clued. So last time I said. Here's an example from last time I said, take the word row, replace one letter with a state to get a part of a salad, and in that case, you eventually figured out you had to get rid of the W in row, replace it with the state main, and you get romaine, which is a part of a salad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Got it.

[JPC]

Got it.

[Sandy]

Make sense.

[Adorfai]

Got it. We should also say raddle R a dash dash L E dot com.

[Sandy]

Part of my don't go there quest.

[Adorfai]

So sorry.

[Sandy]

Yeah, I didn't have enough money to afford the dot com.

[Adorfai]

This, this, this.

[Sandy]

You can go to rattle. I'll tell you what, you can go to rattlerattle.com. i did register that and that forwards to the right place.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Sounds fun. Rattle, rattle. Sounds like you're.

[Adorfai]

That the Hamburglar. Did you guys have that commercial that was rattle, rattle, thunderclatter, boom, boom, boom.

[JPC]

Oh, what is that for? For that sounds so familiar.

[Adorfai]

Don't worry. Because of Car Express.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Sandy]

Car Express, man.

[Adorfai]

Might be a local commercial.

[JPC]

And you can all also, if you go to my website, Amazon Quest. I am trying my best to get you guys the stuff that you're ordering, but I just don't know where a lot of it is. And it is tougher than I have.

[Aaron Keefe]

You don't have any of it and

[JPC]

I don't have a lot of it. I got some of it. Bezos makes it look easy, but I tell you it is not.

[Sandy]

They did not nab that Quest domain. You got that? Good job. All right, so wait, hold on.

[JPC]

While we're talking about rattle, are you open to a little rattle feedback? Sure.

[Sandy]

Let's do a feature request on the air. Let's see how I respond to it.

[JPC]

I. I just think there should be a place on the website somewhere where if you do the rattle and you get 10 out of 10 and you've got it Correct. And you didn't use any hints. You should be able to message the creator, and within a couple of days, he should be able to say, I'm very proud of you, jbz. You did a very good job with this rattle I do give you because I have your email. Sounds very subscribe, but I don't want to use the email because I'm like that. And I actually have your phone number as well. I don't want to use these casual methods. I want a more official channel for you to say, what about a formal

[Aaron Keefe]

letter every time you complete it?

[Sandy]

Here's the trick. Here's the secret. Here's the secret. Every person who writes me, I write them back, even about complaints. If they give me a little spleen about it, something they didn't like because it's too American, I get feedback that it is too American, which it is true. But there's only so much I can think about.

[Adorfai]

It's Charles Schulz of our time.

[JPC]

Yeah. This is why Noam Chomsky was all over the Epstein emails.

[Aaron Keefe]

Shit.

[Sandy]

If you write me and your name's Epstein, you're not getting a response.

[JPC]

If you have a letter, letter, vacation, email address. Not getting a response from Sandy. Fool me once.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sandy, what if we took up correspondence where I argued with you about your letterboxd reviews?

[Sandy]

Oh, and then we published that at a blog.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

So just years of angry letters of me being like, what do you mean you didn't like the Day After Tomorrow?

[Sandy]

My takes on letterboxd are so mild.

[JPC]

If he doesn't have a pun, he doesn't even do it.

[Sandy]

That's right. No, you're right. I spent half the movie thinking about what pun I can insert into my letterbox review. And then I. Then I have to turn to my wife and be like, sorry, what happened? I was busy in my head thinking of bad jokes.

[JPC]

Paul Giannati. Paul Giannati. Paul Gianna. Fuck it. Forget it. Fuck it. Zero stars. Fuck it. Holdover sucks.

[Adorfai]

Ungbak. More like too long. Blah. Guys, watch Tony Jaws. Ung Bak.

[JPC]

Rrr. More like zzz. A long movie.

[Sandy]

Fuck, that's so good. I gotta go back. Gotta watch that whole movie again just

[Adorfai]

so I can write that review. Sandy, next time you got to bring in a game that's. It's letterboxd review. We have to guess what movie you're. What movie you're reviewing.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, fun.

[JPC]

And also, Sandy, I'll also say for next time, get to the game faster, okay.

[Sandy]

Oh, no.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would kill us if I were Sandy, I would just kill us and kill nothing.

[Adorfai]

Have you even explained how ruddle works? Jesus Christ, man.

[Aaron Keefe]

So brutal.

[Sandy]

Sorry.

[JPC]

I'm sorry. Sandy, please, please.

[Sandy]

What if the game was I bring you a premise, but I don't actually write any clues. Let me see if I can get through the who episode without getting to the puzzle.

[JPC]

Sandy, you would. You would. I'm not kidding. You would win that game without even trying, like it's. You would. You have to actively try to lose that game. That's the only way you lose.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sandy, I'm loving your taste. I'm on letterboxd. That's the last thing I'll say. And I'm loving your taste. I'm agreeing with a lot of what you're doing.

[Sandy]

Thank you. I had some hot ratings this year. We went a little against the grain on some beloved hit films. But. But we won't get into that. We'll save it for the game.

[JPC]

Yeah, save it for the game.

[Sandy]

All right, so. But remember, do you remember how this puzzle works?

[JPC]

Kinda.

[Sandy]

All right, I'm gonna. Let's just start and see how it goes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Kinda.

[Adorfai]

You're gonna start the romaine example?

[Sandy]

Yeah, yeah, the romaine example. Just keep romain in your head.

[Adorfai]

All right.

[Sandy]

We're gonna start with the word armor. You're gonna replace a letter with a drink to get a place to sit.

[Adorfai]

Armoire.

[Sandy]

I would not sit on an armoire.

[Adorfai]

Well, then you're not enough on a shelf.

[JPC]

Don't bring your personal hangups into this. Give Adel the point for armoire and move the fuck on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you read it again?

[Sandy]

You start with the word armor. Replace a letter with a drink, which is four letters.

[JPC]

Chai. Armchair.

[Sandy]

It is armchair.

[JPC]

Good job.

[Adorfai]

Ooh, nice one.

[Sandy]

Jpc.

[JPC]

Chai. I wasn't thinking about chai as a drink.

[Sandy]

What were you thinking of it as? A life force.

[JPC]

You know, I just watched into the spider verse. No, beyond Return to the Splitter version. The second one. I watched that second one and there's a section in it where he's like, I hate people who say chai tea, because chai means tea, so chai is tea. But I always. I still do think of chai as, like, a thing that you add to tea. Which is wrong. It's tea.

[Sandy]

Correct. Yeah, well, it's a thing you add to milk.

[JPC]

Thank you. Yes.

[Adorfai]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

All right. Start with the word jury. Replace a letter with a unit of currency and you get a span of time.

[Adorfai]

A century.

[JPC]

Century.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow.

[Sandy]

Good job.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Sandy]

Start with the word pity. Change a Letter to a transportation company and you get a stage of life.

[Adorfai]

Okay, now, Aaron, this is on you.

[Sandy]

Puberty.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why? Because I'm going through puberty currently. It hurts.

[Sandy]

I'm going through uberty.

[Adorfai]

Just yelling it hurts.

[JPC]

Puberty hurts so fucking much. It hurts so bad. I still do. Remember, speaking of puberty, the pain when you're like, bones are growing, like, when you're getting taller, that is. That sucks. Like, I'm so glad as an adult, I'm the. I'm the height that I'm going to be and I don't have to deal with, like, the pain of my bones growing.

[Sandy]

They made a whole TV show about that growing pain and bones and family ties.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sandy, I was reading through some of your reviews and I will. I'm gonna tell you that your review of Hamnet made tears rush to my eyes. Oh, you guys, I'm telling you, we're gonna follow him on letterbox. You can laugh. You can cry at these reviews.

[JPC]

Aaron, Aaron, have you stumbled across any other pun ones like Thomas Hayton Church?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm looking, I'm looking.

[JPC]

If you find another one like that, I would love to be featured on the show in some way.

[Sandy]

Why do I mention this? These are for me and my three followers.

[Aaron Keefe]

We can cut it out. We can cut it out.

[JPC]

All hate stuff. There's no such thing as bad press. Ok. People are gonna love your letterbox.

[Sandy]

That's right. Okay, next one. The word vice. Not my last name. The word vice. Change one letter to a God and you'll get a painkiller.

[Adorfai]

Vice ad.

[Sandy]

Okay, some people might say the face collar is God to a God. It's not. It is Vicodin. Change the E to Odin.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm surprised I got one.

[Sandy]

Especially because you're focused on another activity.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm reading your review of Barbie, which is funny. I'm having a great time.

[Adorfai]

It would be funny if Erin's reading the review of, like, Thor, Love and Thunder, and she's reading out random words.

[JPC]

Odin.

[Sandy]

Odin.

[Adorfai]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

I don't remember writing about Vicodin, but maybe I did. Who knows? All right, change. This is a bigger one. Change the word Judean to a letter in Judean to a Midwestern city to get a 20th century actor.

[JPC]

Oh, Judea, Cincinnati.

[Adorfai]

Judah Law.

[JPC]

Judah Law. I love that.

[Adorfai]

Excuse me, sir. Are you Judah Law?

[Aaron Keefe]

Judi Dench.

[JPC]

Oh, Aaron. That seems like it could be correct.

[Sandy]

It's not Judi Dench. I may have heard someone say the right answer, but there was Judy Greer. No, no, It's Judean change one letter to a Midwestern city to get a 20th century actor. It's not a super big Midwestern city, but it shows up in crosswords a lot because it's got some common letters. There's a university there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jude. Cincinnati.

[Sandy]

Jude is four letters.

[Adorfai]

Jude Valparaiso.

[Sandy]

The city is four letters.

[Adorfai]

So he's four letters. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's the vibe with the city?

[JPC]

Can we get the state? It's Midwest.

[Sandy]

Iowa.

[Aaron Keefe]

Midwest.

[JPC]

Iowa. Also Iowa. June.

[Sandy]

It's easier to go with the 20th century actor. He's very popular. He was very popular.

[Adorfai]

He was very popular.

[JPC]

So 20th century. Did he die in the 20th century?

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Sandy]

He died. I don't know when, but mid century. He's very, very popular. As long as he's around.

[Aaron Keefe]

James Dean.

[Sandy]

James Dean. What's the city?

[JPC]

Ames.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ames, Iowa.

[Sandy]

Ames.

[JPC]

Ames, Iowa. Oh, man, that's tough.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was really good.

[Sandy]

Thank you. Here's a. A fun fact I've heard about Ames. I have not confirmed this. The high school in Ames has a sign that says Ames High, Ames High.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I love it.

[Sandy]

I love it too.

[Adorfai]

That rules.

[Aaron Keefe]

I like when people are having fun. Where and when they can. Like on letterboxd.

[JPC]

Can a high school get bullied?

[Adorfai]

Sure.

[JPC]

Could, like a whole high school be bullied?

[Sandy]

Yeah. I think Iowa City High School comes into town and bullies them.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

How about change a letter in the word peace, as in P, E, A C, E to a grain to get a piece of outerwear.

[Aaron Keefe]

Peacoat.

[JPC]

Parka.

[Sandy]

You got it, Aaron. Peacoat.

[Adorfai]

Nice.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

[JPC]

The letter boxes made eren strong. Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Woo.

[Sandy]

The word typist. Change one letter to a goddess to get a health professional therapist.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

And what's the goddess?

[Adorfai]

Hera.

[Sandy]

Hera is correct.

[JPC]

Odin's wife.

[Adorfai]

I'm a bit of a Hera.

[Sandy]

Well, she was Zeus wife.

[JPC]

Zeus's wife. Ah, yes.

[Adorfai]

But I turned to be at a

[JPC]

dinner party, sloshing my wine all over the fucking place, tornadoing it out of the glass.

[Sandy]

Who was Hera's wife? Hera's wife was played by. Was it Michelle?

[JPC]

Kara's wife. Now we're talking. Let's talk.

[Aaron Keefe]

Now I'm talking.

[JPC]

I gotta go to a dinner party. I'd kill.

[Adorfai]

No free guys. No, it's Michelle. Her name was Michelle. She went to Sarah Lawrence. Very nice lady.

[JPC]

Yes, yes.

[Sandy]

Here's a fun fact about Odin's wife. Her name was Frigga. That is where we get the name. Friday, Odin is Wednesday, Thor is Thursday, Frigga is Friday.

[Adorfai]

Is that why we say it's the frigging weekend?

[Sandy]

Also, she founded tgif.

[Adorfai]

Whoa.

[Sandy]

It was defunct for a thousand.

[Aaron Keefe]

I went to TGIF on a Monday around Christmas. And I gotta tell you, it was the highlight of my holidays. I stayed till 2am I felt I was in the. I was in Washington, D.C. at a TGI Friday and I was having the time of my life. I can't recommend enough.

[Sandy]

That's. By the way, Aaron's just reading out one of my letterbox reviews right now.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. From Marty Supreme.

[Sandy]

That's me talking. That was my review of Marty Supreme. How about the word banned? Change one letter to a symbol to get an insulting term to a symbol

[JPC]

to get an insulting term

[Adorfai]

banned. Insulting symbol.

[JPC]

When you say symbol, let's see.

[Sandy]

Symbol.

[JPC]

Okay. S, Y. So it's not.

[Sandy]

You could say shape.

[Adorfai]

So an insulting symbol would be like the middle finger. No, no.

[Sandy]

The symbol is not insulting on its own.

[Aaron Keefe]

Like a pound sign.

[Sandy]

The replaced the fuller word is an insulting term.

[JPC]

An insulting term. Symbol.

[Sandy]

It has. Change one letter to a four letter symbol and your result is an insulting.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it a symbol that's on a keyboard?

[JPC]

Icon?

[Sandy]

Yeah, it's. Say, you might call this star.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, that's five.

[Sandy]

Yes, yes, yes.

[JPC]

Star is symbol.

[Sandy]

Star is the symbol. Replace one letter with star.

[Aaron Keefe]

I forget the original word. I forget the original word.

[Sandy]

Band. Band.

[JPC]

Star. And it's four shots.

[Sandy]

There's only four letters to a place. You'll get there.

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[JPC]

Bastard.

[Aaron Keefe]

B, A, S. Bandstar.

[JPC]

Bandstar.

[Sandy]

Take the N out. JPC and you have it. Not with Bandstar. The one you said before.

[Aaron Keefe]

That B, A, S. Bastard.

[Sandy]

Bastard.

[Adorfai]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow, that hurt. That one hurt to do.

[Sandy]

Yeah, it hurt.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah. So sorry.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ow.

[JPC]

My brain would have taken the in out. Bastard.

[Sandy]

Never would have taken that in out. That name belongs there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sandy, I have to be honest with you. It is very intimidating to see you before 3pm My brain is not on. And I'm like, oh, he's gonna ask me real riddles. Uh.

[Sandy]

Oh, it's very early for you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Sandy]

It's earlier than it is.

[Adorfai]

It's like Ken Jennings making you breakfast. And you're like, oh, no. Oh, no, he's gonna ask something.

[Aaron Keefe]

I hate when I come downstairs and Ken Jennings is making breakfast. I hate that feeling.

[Adorfai]

He's like his body where the juice was. And it's like, oh, no, no.

[JPC]

You're like Ken Jennings. You stayed over, you have a wife.

[Aaron Keefe]

We're not gonna be a thing. Ken Jennings.

[Sandy]

He's lonely. I think his family lives in Seattle. If he comes down to LA every few weeks to film, man, it's lonely time.

[Adorfai]

They should've all go back to your wife.

[Sandy]

He could probably do a two weeks worth of Jeopardy. In one day.

[JPC]

I think I probably. Yeah, probably.

[Sandy]

I had somebody who went on Jeopardy. And they said. She said that they did at least. I think they do the whole week in one day. They may do two weeks in one day. But it's crazy. Cause they'll finish an episode and then you have a minute. I don't know, maybe a few minutes. So, like, if you are the champion, to like, rest and then come back and do the next episode.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oof. That's crazy.

[JPC]

Because of how, like a contestant on Jeopardy. You have to be. It has to be. You have to be, like, so anxious and nervous and, you know, have all this energy to be on Jeopardy. But everybody else who's like, just has to do 30 jeopardies that day. It's just like, okay, one more Jeopardy. Like, I guess I gotta, you know, hold the mic or make sure the camera angle hits. It's like just a technical job where it's. It's so anxiety inducing for the people that are on it.

[Sandy]

Super anxiety inducing. That's why I'll never apply to go on.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think you would do great. It might also.

[Sandy]

I think I would fall apart and then I would be very embarrassed.

[JPC]

I could go on Jeopardy. With no anxiety and have the time of my life getting every answer wrong and being like. And calling Ken Jennings the wrong name. I'd call Kevin. I'd call Kyle.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd call him Alex.

[Sandy]

When Ken was doing his run of, like, as a contestant, he had to, you know, they do the interview that he had to tell a story every time. 75 times he had to tell a story. And so he just started making stories up. Like, I don't have an example, but I remember him talking about this later. Like, he said, I just had to come up with stories like how I love an egg salad sandwich for lunch every day.

[Adorfai]

I do think that's very funny to say. He had to tell 75 stories. He started to just make them up. I don't have an exam.

[JPC]

I know. I'm sorry.

[Adorfai]

No, it's truly perfect. That's such a perfect joke.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sandy. What you need to do is either become a celebrity and go on celebrity Jeopardy. So it's a little bit easier.

[Sandy]

That would be great.

[Aaron Keefe]

Or go to college and go to college Jeopardy. Cause that's also a little bit easier.

[Sandy]

I don't Know if that plan would work.

[JPC]

Hello, fellow students.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you can figure it out.

[Sandy]

There's a Midwestern crossroad tournament that I've been a part of for the last couple years. It's in October, and I put on a busy day. Sure, I put on. I've helped run it and in the way that I've. Like, I put on a game on stage for everyone to play between rounds. But this year, my friend asked me to compete with him in the pairs tourney, which is you do a crossword together, you both have a pencil, you both fill it out together. And I have never been that fast of a crossword solver, so that's why I've never entered. But on a lark, I was like, sure. And that's sort of the equivalent of. Of doing the. The celebrity jeopardy. Because it's like you get the competition is way, way, way less. You have like a fraction of the number of people solving. So it's much easier to kind of like get two really fast solvers together and get into the leaderboard. So we ended up getting third place.

[Adorfai]

Nice.

[JPC]

Which was.

[Sandy]

Which was wild. Which means we had to get up on stage and compete in front of everyone. It would fill the crossword out on stage, which is nerve wracking, especially when you make a massive mistake like I did. Okay, that was dark.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, I get it.

[JPC]

Do they have a toilet on stage? Because how else are you supposed to do the crossword?

[Aaron Keefe]

That's pretty good.

[Sandy]

I get the joke. I don't actually ever do the crossword on the toilet. I always do it about what you do.

[JPC]

It's about getting the joke. So thank you for the first part and no, thank you for all the rest.

[Sandy]

I was about to go into all the things I do do on the toilet, but. Okay, we'll skip it. That's fine.

[JPC]

Doo, doo, doo, doo on the toilet. Doo on the toilet.

[Adorfai]

He said it on the toilet.

[JPC]

He said it. All right, that's all the time we have for today. Sandy said, doo doo on the toilet. We got him. Sandy said, do you have anything that you would like to. For our listeners to use?

[Sandy]

Oh, I didn't even get to my capper.

[Adorfai]

Let me do one more.

[JPC]

Do one more. Do one more.

[Sandy]

All right, all right. Take the word sofa, replace it with an African country, and you'll get another African country.

[JPC]

South Africa. It's like, it's got to be so. So South Africa. South Africa.

[Sandy]

There is a country in Africa that is within another country in Africa. And that's what's going on here. But you can figure it out because one of the countries is the letters in sofa minus a letter.

[Adorfai]

My name is Chad Sofa.

[JPC]

Chad Sofa. Sounds like a horror character for sure. Senegal.

[Sandy]

Sofa. Sofa. Take the F out.

[JPC]

Okay. S O, blank A.

[Adorfai]

And what's the word we're adding in another. Africa.

[Sandy]

An African country to get another African country?

[Adorfai]

Somalia.

[Sandy]

Yeah. And what's the country you're in?

[Adorfai]

Mali.

[Sandy]

Mali.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow.

[Sandy]

Of course. Speaking of Mali, I'm gonna go take some.

[Aaron Keefe]

Perfect.

[Adorfai]

On the toilet.

[JPC]

So smart. Sandy. I almost called you Santhony. Which is. Sandy is short for Santhony, right?

[Sandy]

It is now. Yeah.

[JPC]

Santhony wise. Where can people find you? What do you got going on?

[Sandy]

They find me on letterboxd and everything stems from there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep.

[Sandy]

You know what I am. You can find me on letterboxd. I'm not gonna tell you my username, but it's easy to find. But no, you can play my rattle game at rattle quest or rattleraddle.com, whichever is easier for you to remember. I also run a company called. My day job is running this company I own called the Mystery League out of Chicago, where I put on team building games. I've actually had several requests lately of people who've heard me on this dang podcast and has led to business, which is cool. It's including a really, really cool project that I can't talk about.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, incredible. Thank God. I'm so glad you get something out of this, because, Jesus, we're relentless.

[Sandy]

So if you're like, I've heard this guy on this podcast, but I don't know if I can take this podcast seriously enough to treat it as a recommendation. You absolutely can. Other people have done it. Yeah. So. Mysteryleague.com.

[JPC]

okay, that's great news, Sandy. Now let's bite you with this radioactive spider and just kind of see what happens.

[Sandy]

Bye. Bye.

[JPC]

He's dead.

[Adorfai]

Ooh, he's dead.

[JPC]

He's dead. Yikes.

[Adorfai]

Let's push him into the ocean. We're in Chicago. Ocean's about. Let's see. Man, Anytime Sandy's here, I feel like I have to take a shower because I just feel like I have. You get little bits of, you know, riddles and all the nooks and crannies,

[JPC]

and I'm, like, covered in pineapple juice.

[Adorfai]

I don't know what that is.

[JPC]

Pineapple juice, probably.

[Adorfai]

You have ants all over you, Aaron. Covered in hot dogs or.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, but this is sort of my natural state. Covered in hot dogs. You can play it. JBC hot dogs.

[JPC]

Thank you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

Feels better with permission, I'll tell you that much. Feels much better with permission.

[Adorfai]

Well, let's.

[JPC]

Speaking of things that we can play on the show, why don't we play a voicemail theme?

[Adorfai]

Hell, yeah.

[JPC]

You can leave a smile at the stone through another just to have a breathing. You can say something, like a comment on the show or ask a question. Leave a voice, man. You have to leave a message

[Adorfai]

that I would listen to an album of that. Whatever that is. That sort of like New Order esque. I would listen to an album of that.

[JPC]

Well, you could pick up a Chapel Roan album because that was a cover of Good Luck Babe by Davey Paul. Unbelievable. Or Davey Paul, I guess you could just do a whole cover album, you know, 30 second covers of Chapel Road songs in the style of whatever that was, to the tune of hey, riddle, riddle.

[Adorfai]

That absolutely ruled. Well, let's play a voicemail casing.

[Sandy]

Hey, Clue crew. My name is Katie, longtime listener, first time caller. I'm a law student, so I'm studying for finals right now.

[Aaron Keefe]

And in the margins of one of

[Sandy]

my notebooks, I've written free enforcement. Judicial review can still get you pregnant, which none of my friends found as funny as I did. That's funny. To prepare for my future legal career,

[JPC]

I was curious if there's any law

[Aaron Keefe]

you guys would like me to get

[JPC]

rid of in the future.

[Sandy]

Love the show. Thanks. Bye.

[Adorfai]

Whoa, Katie, thank you so much for the voicemail.

[Aaron Keefe]

How much time do you have?

[Adorfai]

And either best of luck or great job, depending on when you sent that in. That's very exciting. And also very funny that you wrote that in the margins. A law we want to get rid of. Is that what they said?

[JPC]

Right? Isn't that. That was.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Three. Three laws.

[Adorfai]

Three laws. So we each do one.

[Sandy]

Maybe.

[JPC]

Okay. Yeah, we could each.

[Adorfai]

I would say. I. You know what? I'll say it.

[JPC]

Uh.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh.

[Adorfai]

I've had it with Murphy's Law. I've had it. Anything that possibly could go wrong will go wrong. I'm done with Murphy's Law.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm done with the Law of gravity. Yeah, it's weighing me down. I don't feel great. If Adam gets to get rid of Murphy's Law, I feel like I'm not stepping totally out of line here.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Adorfai]

I'm sorry. I want to get rid of the TV show.

[JPC]

The tv.

[Adorfai]

Murphy's Law with Candace Bergen.

[JPC]

What? Why? Um, it's not. I. Okay. If this. If you guys deem that this is not one that I can do, I will pick a different one. But I think I would get rid of the 22nd Amendment. I just don't think we need to be limiting how many terms a president can serve at this age in our, you know, history. I think if, and it doesn't matter who, but if a president wanted to do a third term or kind of a fourth term, that to me, I think would be fine. But if you're listening to this in

[Adorfai]

2028, please know that JPC was joking. JPC was only joking. We all support donuts.

[JPC]

Anything. Anyone have anything to plug? Anything that we're plugging now days?

[Aaron Keefe]

I got nothing.

[Adorfai]

I got a big thing to plug. Oh, pbl. Love pbl. Pbl. Isn't that a song? BBL lover or something? Hey.

[JPC]

Oh, yes, it is. Okay, got it.

[Adorfai]

Oh, but it's unfortunately a Drake song.

[JPC]

It's a Drake song. Yeah, it's a Drake song. I don't know the song, but I know that it is a song.

[Adorfai]

Yeah. Same, same, same, same. And I forgot who sang it. PBL Penguin baseball league is coming up as part of our April of the Penguins. And this year things are gonna be a little bit crazy because we have something fun going on. I'm not gonna spill the whole beans.

[JPC]

Look, you' it out on the Patreon. Patreon.com haveronovertel if you want to see what's going on with PBL this month. And I will say, if you were ready to get the whole league turned upside down on its head, we probably do that. Yeah, we probably do that this year. So check it out.

[Adorfai]

I would say this is going to be our most fun season yet. So check out PBL Japes. Do you have a review to read?

[JPC]

I do have a review to read. This review comes to us from Angry Pig. So angry with with no A. And it's five stars. It's titled Torture. We trap these podcast hosts in a financial dependent prison where they have to answer riddles to get or get an office job. They're really making the most of it and taking advantage of the space. If you get the Patreon, the level of torture ups with forced feedings and more control over their days and removal of their freedom. Are they okay? Are we okay? This is fine. Five stars. Yeah, that is fine. Five stars.

[Adorfai]

I didn't ever think about it, but we are like geese who get fattened up for foie gras. Like we are force red riddles until we explode.

[JPC]

Except instead of goose meat, we are hot dogs. No reaction from Aaron whatsoever.

[Adorfai]

Aaron, you're muted.

[JPC]

You're muted. Aaron

[Adorfai]

well, Jupiter

[JPC]

created by Adol Refy, starring Aaron Keenan and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. Emory Parent in the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there. And if you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of who Wants to be a JP Cillionaire? You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] heyridobertle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was a Headgum podcast.