#409: The Shirt

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle – Episode #409: The Shirt

Released: May 20, 2026 | Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the sometimes fraught, always hilarious world of fashion choices, the perils of wearing statement pieces around improvisers, and the universality of feeling out of place with what we wear. Erin’s saga with an especially bold shirt—white, long-sleeve, oxford-style, but with a striking silk rose sewn at the neck—becomes the centerpiece for self-deprecating stories, playful mockery, and larger discussions about personal style, confidence, and group dynamics among friends and improvisers. The group also veers into wedding music, children’s bewildering first experiences, and, of course, a healthy dose of riddles and scene work.

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In-Person Recording & Wedding Talk (00:51–06:46)

• The hosts celebrate being back in person, kicking off with an improvised arm wrestling contest and magic trick.
• Erin shares she's in Chicago for a friend’s wedding, sparking a conversation about the best and worst wedding songs:
  • Erin: “I love ABBA at a wedding. I love ‘Come On Eileen’ at a wedding.” (03:17)
  • Conversation continues on how wedding music sets the vibe, comparing it to summertime listening in cars (04:30).
• The chat veers to intentional music listening—pool floats, high-quality speakers, and nostalgia.

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Compliments, Dresses, and Chance Meetings (06:46–08:32)

• Erin recounts a rough pre-wedding morning: dress zipper fails, rushed backup shopping, but her mood flips after two strangers at Dunkin Donuts stop her to say, “You look gorgeous. We were talking about it inside. Incredible outfit.” (07:34)
• JPC relates a similar confidence-boosting moment with a stranger’s comment.
• The crew riffs on serendipitous compliments and the magic of not overanalyzing positive moments.

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Fashion Blunders and Group Dynamics (08:32–21:28)

Same Outfit Syndrome

• Erin celebrates running into others wearing the same dress as her: “It’s the best feeling… you do scream and start dancing with that woman.” (08:39)
• JPC and Adal consider how men’s fashion is more static and risk-averse, while women’s clothing can be a moving target of “correct” jeans, sneakers, and fit.

Dressing for Others or Yourself?

• JPC, married, says he’s content dressing to his wife’s tastes, not trends: “There is something nice about when you’re not trying to dress for society. You’re dressing for one person.” (11:18)
• Erin likes to keep clothing links handy to help friends shop, highlighting how challenging online shopping has become.

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The Shirt: Erin’s Fashion Crisis (12:03–25:49)

The Big Reveal

• Erin describes buying a dramatic Farm Rio white oxford shirt, with a “silk green stem and then a rose right at the top at the neck.” (13:12)
• Friends and boyfriend reacted with horror; the rose detail took everyone aback.
  • JPC: “It sounds like a shirt that’s holding you hostage.” (13:44)
• Erin admits the fantasy she was buying into: “I’m buying into a fantasy version of myself that doesn’t actually exist.” (14:13)
• Scene: Erin imagines owning the look with a high bun, red lipstick at a bar, saying clever things—but reality did not cooperate.

The Takedown

• Upon showing the shirt, the hosts riff mercilessly:
  • JPC: “If you walked up to our group in that shirt, I’d be like, ‘Oh, can we get more bread?…I truly thought you were here to bring me more bread.’” (17:39)
  • Adal: “You can’t show up…in a full bear costume and be like, ‘What’s the deal? Can we not just improv? Can we not be professionals?’” (20:36)

Support (Sort Of)

• The group encourages Erin’s fashion risks—kind of:
  • JPC: “There’s not a single listener who’s not going to…say, ‘You would look amazing in that.’ So take comfort in that.” (21:11)
  • Erin points out that around improvisers, “You cannot wear anything” without it becoming fodder for bits and jokes. (22:49)
  • Adal laments: “The minute you stop taking risks, you [die].” (18:52)

Vulnerable Moment

• Amid the roast, Erin tries to share “something vulnerable,” sidetracked by relentless teasing.
• She almost delivers a sneeze-related joke: “Sorry, I’m allergic to flowers,” but the moment (and the sneeze) passes. (27:05–28:14)

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Parenting, Music & Firsts (29:01–34:03)

• JPC shares the joys and hazards of introducing his toddler to music, including an incident where his kid threw up for the first time:
  • “As soon as they threw up…they looked at me and go, ‘What happened to me?’” (30:47)
  • Later, “They told our babysitter today, ‘I lost all my blueberries and grapes.’” (32:07)
• Erin recalls an old character: a woman who sneezes for the first time, with Adal contributing a poetic line: “It feels like my body’s trying to remember a name.” (32:18)

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Improv, Vulnerability, and Group Support (End of Shirt Segment)

• Ongoing: the group agrees that dressing “neutrally” is key for improv, lest your clothing dictate the entire show. (49:45)
  • Sharna’s advice famously quoted: “Look like you’re going on a first date, but the first date is bowling.” (49:57)
• Erin: “I do think I would have known to not wear that in front of you guys…because they’re gonna talk about it the whole time.” (19:17)

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Riddles, Scenes, and Listener Submissions (44:16–End)

Limerick & Wordplay Riddles

• Will’s limericks bring playful puzzles (“I am a beetle, but not Ringo or Paul…”), inspiring tangents on the Beatles and categorical oddities.
  • Adal: “No one in the history…has ever listed the Beatles: Ringo, Paul…” (50:36)

Notable Scenes & Improv Moments

• The group acts out:
  • A framed friend getting out of prison (46:25)
  • Atlas attending a performance review with his mythological boss (52:16)
  • The Joker’s rough first day as court jester (57:08)
  • The world’s slowest pitcher/mound conference (60:46)
• All scenes are riff-heavy, poking fun at tropes and each other in equal measure.

Callback Riddles & In-Jokes

• A riddle referencing the infamous “pig orgasm set to Clair de Lune” bit [a running inside joke]. (66:12+)
• “Howard Dean Scream” is named as the ultimate Hey Riddle Riddle sound effect—if the show had a grand finale, this would be its swan song. (68:55)
  • “I came unbidden, wild and loud. A burst of pride before the crowd… but once I rang, a dream turned hell.” (68:10–69:24)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On group style judgment:
  • Erin: “You cannot wear anything around Improvisers…” (22:49)
• On fashion risks:
  • Adal: “Because you’re so fashionable…I think it’s good that you’re taking risks—because the minute you stop taking risks, you (die).” (18:52)
• On the infamous shirt:
  • JPC: “It sounds like a shirt that’s holding you hostage.” (13:44)
  • Adal: “You show up to an improv show in a full bear costume and be like, ‘What’s the deal?’” (20:36)
• On surreal group synergy:
  • C: “No one in the history…has ever listed the Beatles: Ringo, Paul…It’s like shuffling a deck of cards into a sequence that’s never existed.” (50:36)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Arm Wrestling & In-Person Banter: 00:51–02:41
• Wedding DJ & Music Vibes: 02:41–06:46
• Dress Zipper Mishap / Compliments: 06:46–08:32
• Fashion/Friendship/Improv Fashion Criticism: 08:32–25:49
• Parenting Anecdote (Blueberries Incident): 29:01–32:15
• Pig Orgasm/Clair de Lune In-Joke: 66:12–67:21
• Howard Dean Scream as the Show's Legacy: 68:41–69:24
• Riddle and Improv Scene Play: Throughout

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Overall Tone

• Loose, unfiltered, and playful.
• Erin cheerfully receives a roasting about her “cursed” shirt, and the banter veers from fierce to affectionate.
• The hosts’ trademark absurdity and improvisational flair are present in every segment, particularly during scenes and listener riddles.

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Summary

“The Shirt” isn’t just about a questionable clothing choice—it’s about the risks of self-expression, how friendships become crucibles for self-esteem, and how comedy can turn embarrassment into community. For all the mockery, Erin’s willingness to share is met with—eventually—respect for taking bold swings, sartorial or otherwise. The group riffs and improvises through tangents about music, parenting, fashion, and, in true Hey Riddle Riddle fashion, the specifics of exactly when and why a shirt can become an everlasting inside joke.

Even if you haven’t heard the episode, you’ll come away understanding how a single rose-adorned blouse became legend, and you’ll likely rethink your next “statement” purchase—or, at the very least, prepare for the roasting that comes with it.

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[For More Riddles and Hot Takes, Listen at Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle]

Transcript

[A]

This is a headgun podcast. Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now? Really? I can get super specific with dealer listings and see cars based on my budget. You can really have it delivered or pick it up.

[B]

I think kid is walking up the slide.

[A]

Really? Autotrader, Buy your car online? Really?

[B]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. You dab him with an icicle and the horse's name. Right.

[A]

Okay, everybody, since we are recording in person, ADOL and JPC are doing an arm wrestling contest. They've been locked into place for four hours now. Not a lot of movement, not a lot of blinking.

[C]

Ross, how is he doing this?

[A]

I'm seeing now that GBC might be sound asleep.

[B]

I don't have my homework. Gbc, huh? Huh?

[A]

Oh, GBC won.

[C]

Oh, what the hell?

[B]

Can I be honest with you, Adel?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was using my leg.

[C]

Well, now I wondered why you had a shoe on your hand.

[A]

Redo. Rematch.

[C]

Redo. Couldn't get a good grip?

[B]

No.

[A]

I'm obviously by far the strongest. Then it's adol and then it's jpc. We're. Hey, Riddle, Riddle. We're in person.

[B]

Oh, yes, we're in person. Just like I was for that arm wrestling competition. I won by putting a shoe on my foot, on my hand. Wait, hold on.

[A]

On my head.

[B]

Put a shoe. I put a glove on my foot.

[C]

That's what socks are.

[B]

Guy showing up with a winter glove on his foot, laying on the table for arm wrestling.

[C]

Wait a minute. Something's off, but I can't quite place my finger on it.

[B]

Ah, you mean my to. I mean by finger.

[C]

Now, Aaron, since we're live and in person.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Pick a card. Any card.

[A]

Three of diamonds.

[C]

Oh. Let me put this deck of cards away.

[A]

Okay. Great. That went so well, you guys. I love being in person.

[B]

Aaron, you're back in Chicago. You were here to celebrate the nuptials of a friend. And as it just so happened, Casey has a sweet little in person setup. We're like, let's get the fricking band back together and let's do like a little in person episode.

[A]

Why not take a crazy chance? Why not do a crazy dance?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And are you gonna do a crazy dance for us? Did you do any crazy dancing at the wedding?

[A]

I danced a little bit, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You got loose.

[A]

I got loose. I didn't do the worm. I didn't really go down too far to the Ground and mostly stayed kind of upright. I did miss a lot of really great songs because I was talking about comedy with people.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I mean, I was torn. How do you choose between talking about comedy?

[B]

Oh, you missed Torn. Love Torn.

[A]

I missed great abba, and I was like, unbelievable. But it was. I had a really good time at the wedding.

[B]

Do you have a favorite wedding song?

[A]

I love ABBA at a wedding. I love Come On Eileen at a wedding.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Spice Girls? I don't know. What about you guys?

[B]

I don't know that I have a favorite wedding song. I don't think I like the wedding songs that are like. That are like. What's it called? The standards? Yes. Well, no, I do like some standards. I don't like the one words like the jump or the shout or the.

[C]

Yeah, that's two words.

[B]

Or like the ones that like the electric slide.

[C]

Instructional.

[B]

There's an instructional component to them, you

[C]

know, Cha cha, real smooth.

[B]

My neck, my back, my pussy, my crack. It's like, we all know the dance, but what's the.

[C]

I'm flicking on the name of it. What's the Bruno Mars song?

[A]

Uptown Funk.

[C]

Uptown Funk. I feel like that's a song where I'm like. When it was on the radio, I'm like, ah, pretty good. And then I've been to, like, three or four weddings where they play that. And I'm like, fuck, yes.

[A]

Yeah, you're gonna get into that one. I feel that way about Shut up and Dance by Walk the Moon. I hear that at a wedding, I'm fucking dancing to that song.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's like, oh, yeah. That's a fun dancing star. I think I like that one a lot, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I think just the vibe of music at a wedding is like. It's like when I think of, like, the best place to listen to music. My buddy Johnny o', Meara, when we had a music review show together, he used to say, like, his ideal way to listen to music is like, summertime in a car with the windows down.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, oh, yeah. That's just like. That's cruisin music, baby. Like, you gotta love music.

[C]

But then, like, Carly Rae Jepsen albums were born.

[B]

But a wedding is also, like, what a great place to listen to music. You get to listen to music with, like, people that you know and love. And you're, like, celebrating. There's, like, a good vibe in the air.

[C]

Like, one of my favorite descriptions of listening to an album came from ujpc. Which is I can't remember if it was on the episode or private discussion. So sorry for putting you on blast. I feel like you once said that

[B]

you bathtub dead ass asleep.

[A]

You put a speaker up your butt so you can feel it in your mouth.

[C]

Open your mouth. It comes out of your mouth like a gramophone.

[B]

You said that choking yourself in a closet when you're just about to pass out, but you don't. You finish the song when you're just

[C]

about to pass out. Wink, wink. You mentioned because your dad's, like, a big audiophile, you mentioned, like, listening to.

[B]

Maybe it's the Moody Blues, Steely Dan.

[C]

Steely Dan lights off in your dad's living room with, like, high quality stereo equipment. I'm like, that sounds really fun.

[B]

Actually, there is something fun about listening to music intentionally, you know, like, in a way that you're experiencing it and not just having music on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Scroll on your phone.

[A]

I recently listened to music in a pool float when it's sunny, and I was like, this is hitting.

[B]

In a pool float. God, you're gonna hit me for this. That's a pool plus ice cream.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Chlorine.

[B]

I didn't know. I didn't know where to go with it. Should I have got a pool plus

[C]

root beer ice cream makes it a float.

[A]

Chlorine, Root beer of vanilla ice cream Hospital.

[B]

Yeah. I love a saltwater float. Just, like, no chemicals, just ice cream.

[C]

Get that on the boardwalk.

[B]

Just go in the pool.

[C]

Aaron, what were you listening to in the pool?

[A]

I listened to a full album and it's just the best.

[C]

Do you remember what it was?

[A]

Yeah. I've been listening to Paul Simon because I'm getting to see him live in a couple months, who's truly my dream person to see live. And I'm like, yeah, being in a pool float is a great way to experience music.

[C]

If he would tour with Ladysmith Black Menbasa, I would first in line for tickets.

[A]

I'm like, so, so, so excited to see him live because I thought he retired, but he's back yesterday when I was walking.

[B]

He has gambling debt.

[C]

Hughes the gambler not really knows.

[A]

Yesterday I was walking to the wedding from my Airbnb and I was feeling, like, really low because the dress that I had bought that I, like, loved, the zipper broke yesterday morning, and so I had to rush and buy a backup dress, and I was like, I don't like my outfit, and I didn't have time to do my hair, and I was feeling like kind of grumpy. And I walked by Dunkin Donuts, and I was like, maybe I'll get a little Dunkin Donuts to pick myself up. And I was like, alan, JBC will make fun of me if I stop to get a Cheer me up. Dunkin Donuts. But instead, I walked by and two girls walked out of the Dunkin Donuts. And they were like, you look gorgeous. We were talking about it inside. Incredible outfit. You look incredible. And I was like, thank you so much. And then I didn't go in because I was like, I got what I needed.

[B]

Dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

[A]

It giveth in many different ways.

[C]

That's laughing as soon as they got 10ft from you.

[A]

Yeah. They were like, it's the ugliest fucking dress I've ever seen.

[C]

I was like. I was walking here, and a girl pointed at me and to her friend goes, you're gonna marry him. And they both. And I was like, what? That feels really good.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, don't turn around, Aaron, because you're gonna turn around and they're not gonna be there. Don't ruin the magic. Those gorgeous. So if you were on the Clark Dunkin Donuts on a Sunday and you complimented a girl in a blue dress. That was me. And you were an angel.

[B]

Turns to noon and then turns into a pumpkin and a mouse.

[A]

They turned back into a colada. And on the ground.

[C]

Duncan. Rella dunk dun cinda. Duncan. Cinder Duncan. Is that something?

[A]

Cinder dunc. I'm gonna work on it, and I'm gonna make it my whole personality. Whatever it is, it's mine.

[B]

Aaron, have you ever worn the same dress as someone else to a wedding?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Multiple times.

[B]

That's so fun that's happened. I love when you see that.

[A]

It will. You do scream and, like, start dancing with that woman. It's the best feeling. It's not like I feel like that was a big thing with prom dresses. Is everyone, like, creating a Facebook group or whatever to prove that we didn't all buy the same dress? But besides that, I, like, love showing up somewhere and I'm wearing the same dress as someone. Doesn't happen often because I buy used and vintage a lot. But every once in a while, you'd be wearing the same dress as a lady.

[B]

I think it's always fun when you're wearing the same article of clothing as another person. Because it's also like, most clothes are not custom made. Right? We're all taking a shot.

[C]

Like, everybody's like, for men, that's Way more common than for women. Like.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[C]

I feel like we're all sharks circling the same three stores of blood.

[B]

And I know also like fashion changes, you know, and there's like, this is new thing for the season or like, and it wasn't in last season. But like this is a. I'm wearing like a green J Crew T shirt with like a pocket T shirt. And I have like 40 of these shirts just in different colors.

[A]

It's a great shirt.

[B]

And it's just never gonna like, if three years from now when I go to J Crew to buy this shirt, it will be the same shirt. They're not, they're not. They're like, we're done iterating on the plain green we. But I feel like if I cared more about fashion, there would be like a different cut shirt design thing that I would have to like deal with in a few years. But I do like that about a lot of men's clothing is they're like, yeah, it's utilitarian.

[C]

Like, we're like the tux where it's like, it's not going anywhere.

[B]

It'll get the job done.

[A]

The biggest riot with women's fashion that drives me insane is cut of jeans.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Change so quickly and you just feel this like self consciousness of like, oh my God, I can't wear skinny jeans. Like, but I, I don't think that like women in my mom's generation were caring about that in their 30s because they were just like with each other and it didn't matter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now I'm like, why am I trying to buy the same cut of jeans that a 19 year old is doing? Like, I'm chasing something wrong. In la, there's seemingly like a correct sneaker that women wear and I never know what sneaker I'm supposed to wear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, girls, is there a group chat? And I'm like, I don't. I just. Can someone email me, write on a

[C]

piece of paper and slip it under my door?

[B]

I think that there's something like a truism because like, you know, Adel and I are, are married. And it's not that I. It's not that like I.

[C]

Women to each other.

[B]

The, the when I buy clothes, it's not that I'm like, I don't have anyone to impress. It's like I still want to impress my wife, but I also know what she likes and it's like her taste changing all the time and it's just like she would be really Happy if it was no clothes.

[A]

Fur coat, nothing underneath.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure. Do you have those shirts that are just whipped cream or. You know what? I'll just buy the whipped cream. My wife elect to lick and her parents listen to the show. But I think that there's like Mr. Mrs. Mariah, there is something nice about when you're not trying to dress for society. You're trying to like if I am dressing, I'm dressing for one person, you know, And I'm like, oh yeah, this is something that she would like to see me in. So I know that that's what I have to buy. Yeah.

[A]

That's why I keep really good track of the links of things that I buy. Because it will happen that a friend will be like, oh my God, I'm looking for jeans just like that. I like to be able to immediately fire it off to them. I have a link in my Instagram bio of them because it's so helpful of like, this is exactly. Because online shopping is such a fucking nightmare.

[C]

It's a crapshoot. Aaron, does the company that made you're the sweater.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do they make wedding dresses?

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Wedding dresses or like dresses to wear to a wedding?

[C]

Well, it would be if they made one. It would be like Joseph's amazing Technicolor dreamcoat.

[A]

But I will, if I ever get married. I promise you the company is farm.

[B]

When you. If you ever get married.

[A]

When it. When, if. But if I ever never get married, I will wear something from that company. But I did recently buy a shirt from there. Tried it on for my friend Elizabeth, tried it on for my sweet boyfriend and they both went, oh no. It's like cute. And then I returned it and I went, I can't fucking catch a break shopping from this company. It was a. Let me walk you through it and then you guys tell me if you. I actually already know the answer to this. If I had worn it to this recording, if this entire episode would have become about this shirt. It's a long sleeve white.

[B]

It's an itty bitty, teeny, weedy yellow

[A]

polka dot whipped cream bikini from J. Crew.

[B]

I'm sorry. It's long sleeve, it's white.

[A]

It's like picture like a white oxford button down classic shirt.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Maybe a little bit more of like a slim cut of it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Sleeves that are very roll up able.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The one like thing to it is it has a silk green. Here we go. Stem and then a rose right at the top at the neck. So it's like, okay, everybody just sort of reacted with disgust. There was movement in my periphery from Casey.

[C]

Like a ventriloquist dummy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

The rose goes up to. It's like, oh, my God. The stem of a rose. And then pull it up.

[C]

Squirt water in your mouth.

[A]

Oh, I'm not even wearing it. I'm not even fucking wearing it.

[C]

It sounds like a shirt that's holding you hostage.

[B]

Aaron, before I make fun of you. And I will. Before I make fun of you for the shirt. When you saw the shirt, what was it? What happened in your mind that you thought, like, this would be good? Did you think, like, that would maybe

[A]

look beautiful in the shirt?

[B]

You thought you would look beautiful in the shirt?

[A]

I thought, here's what I pictured. But this never happens.

[B]

You're gonna look beautiful in anything that you wear.

[A]

You don't believe that. No one. No one does.

[B]

Wait, I don't have to believe it to say it. What the fuck are we talking about? What do you mean, believe it?

[A]

I'm immediately locked into this. Okay, so I. When you buy a piece of clothing, you're really. This is very Don Draper of me. I'm buying into a fantasy version of myself that doesn't actually exist.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

And I was picturing sort of like a high bun. I was picturing red lipstick. I was picturing, like, being at a bar with someone who thinks I'm very, very interesting and very, very smart.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm wearing, like, jeans, and I'm wearing, like, a red Shoes that curl at the end. Yeah. Shoes that curl at the end. Thank you. I tried to swing at Casey, but he's dodging my punches.

[C]

Finger.

[A]

Okay. And I'm like, oh, I'll wear, like, a little red bra underneath, and it'll be this whole little moment. I'll have, like, a martini, and I'll just say the most interesting stuff in the shirt.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[A]

And then no one was on board. I couldn't get anyone to be on my side. Okay, I'm pulling it up so you guys can see it. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. So one time. I mean, this was, like, years ago and relatively early in our relationship. Maybe, like, a few years in. I was saying something about, like, I didn't have clothes or something like that, or I needed a thing, but I hate shopping. And Mariah was like, oh, can I, like, buy you some stuff that I think that you would, like, look good in? And I was like, you're the one who has to look at me. Like, Mariah gave me a haircut. And I'm like, I love it because you love it. And it's. And I actually do like it. It's very easy to maintain. But if she wants to do that, I'm like, I'm all about it. Like, go for it. Like, you're the one who has to look at me. So she bought me this collection of, like, items to try on. And we did. We did a thing in our, like, dining room where I would, like, try something on. And like, everything that I put on, I was like, this is just for a different guy. Like, I'm like, I'm not promoting a nightclub. So, like, I can't wear like sharks.

[A]

Not with that attitude.

[B]

I don't have a nightclub to promote. Like, it's. But everything was like, trendy esque. And I was like, I just don't think I'm a trendy guy. I'm like a basics guy. Like, that's. That's what I.

[A]

You're a tank top with something weird on it.

[B]

Exactly. I feel. I feel like, comfortable and like a. I could like, buy anything that I need, I can buy at target for like, $10 and I'll be kind of okay with it. But anything that has like a fashion that might like, rotate out of fashion in a year or a season or something, I'm like, it doesn't really suit me.

[A]

So I argue that both of you are more fashionable because you have a signature style. I don't think you guys are being swayed. Like, Adel is so associated with like, flannels and great button downs and like, woodsy energy. And you have such a, like, villain in an 80s surfer movie.

[C]

I see you on the slopes, bitch.

[B]

Adol, you gave me a penguin. Is the company right?

[C]

Yeah. Original penguin.

[B]

Yeah. Like, it's like a. It's like a rain jacket, but like, not like a. It's not like super waterproof, but it's like water resistant or whatever. And I wore that and I was like, I love this.

[C]

Yeah, that's a cool piece.

[B]

Yeah. And I. And I never would have bought that. I just never would have considered myself, like, wearing something like that. But I was like, oh, this? I wear that all the time when I'm walking the dock. I'm like, this is like a great jack. Okay, can we see the.

[C]

What's funny is when I was getting rid of that, I was like, I bet GPC would look good in that. So.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh, that's. It's like a real. It's like a textured rose. Aaron, that's like a I loved it.

[C]

Is it detachable? Like, can someone yank? Would that get caught? If an elevator door closed, would that, like, pull you up and.

[A]

100%. I just flashed to every other timeline that I'm on. This is the only one where I'm still alive. The rest, I die. That. Exactly.

[C]

You think the doctor Strange.

[B]

My first impression is if you watch. Walked up to me, walked up to, like, us. You walked up to our group and you were wearing that shirt, I would be like, oh, can we get more bread? And. Oh, Aaron. Oh, my God. Aaron.

[C]

I thought you were a table setting.

[B]

This is. I'm not even at a restaurant. I thought. I truly thought you were here to bring me more bread.

[C]

I would just dump water down the front of your shirt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

To be like, it needed water.

[A]

You put, like, that glass thing that Beauty and the Beast is. Oh, this is a curse. Rose.

[B]

Aaron.

[A]

Put me in glass. I suffocate.

[B]

I, like, admire your courage because it's a big swing.

[A]

I've been shot. See, it seemed so wild, but, you

[B]

know, so many funny people. I just don't like.

[A]

Yeah. People would be like, they're just getting squirt out of me.

[B]

People are gonna. There's no one that really. I mean, your friends, it sounds like they did you a service by being kind of mild on it, because.

[A]

Yeah, they protected me.

[B]

They did. Yeah.

[A]

They didn't have faith in me.

[C]

Aaron, here's what I'll say.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Clearly, you're the most fashionable out of everyone at this table. Most people in Chicago. And I think because you're so fashionable, because you always look so well put together, I think it's good that you're taking risks, because the minute you stop taking risks, you.

[A]

If I stop swimming, I die. You're like, sure, I. I do. Obviously. I don't know when the sweater episode was, but it's been, like, four or five years since.

[C]

87.

[A]

87. I think I do have to consider before I see you guys in person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What I'm about to put on. Because it's always a risk. And obviously, I have it in my bones that. And I do think I would have known to not wear that in front of you guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I'd be like, well, they're gonna. They're gonna talk about it the whole time.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like I'm supportive of my friends, but in, like, very different ways. But, like, one thing I could never abide is someone wearing that shirt around me. Like, there'd be no way. There'd be no Way for me to.

[A]

If you had to stay true to

[B]

myself and support that choice.

[C]

If you wore that to the Met gala, I feel like people would be, like, praising you. But I think if you wore that to a podcast recording.

[A]

That's insane. That. That is. You feel like that is that big of a swing where people are wearing, like, literal.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Kim Kardashian is wearing complete black. Like, her whole. She's completely shrouded.

[A]

And then she's like, to that dress as a full chandelier. Do you think that makes sense? The shirt makes sense.

[B]

Yeah. I just. I'm such a. My environs are so casual that I just can't imagine a situation where I'd be like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna wear. Cause you. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't wear that to, like, perform, right?

[A]

Yeah, I think I, like, I would have worn that to an improv show with jeans and like a. In red lipstick.

[B]

That sucks.

[C]

But then every character you play has a rose creeping into their mouth.

[B]

It sucks to do that to other improvisers, to make them. To make them to like, to make that be the character that they imbue you with.

[C]

Every improviser's like, I'm tagging you out. Can the shirt stay?

[B]

You can't.

[A]

They're trying to tag me out, like, under my shirt at my neck, and I'm like, ugh. Ugh.

[B]

You can't show up to like an improv show in like a full bear costume and be like, what's the deal? Can we not just improv? Can we not be professionals?

[C]

I just had an idea for an improv show.

[A]

To me, this seemed like someone would be like, I just was expecting such mild responses. Like, this didn't seem like a huge swing to me. This seemed like a casual shirt to me. I'm like, it's a white button down case.

[C]

When it was open, it felt more.

[A]

More casual.

[C]

But when it's closed, the fact that it, like, takes up real estate, that your neck takes up, makes it feel like you have just like a prop stuffed down your collar.

[B]

There's a prop. I mean, it's a shirt with a prop.

[C]

Aaron, here's the thing. We can post this in the. Where do you clean that shirt Description? Soil. But here's the thing. Take comfort. Take comfort, Aaron. Take comfort. There's not a single listener who's not going to message and say, you would look amazing in that. So take comfort into that.

[A]

I know all the gals are going to show up for me on there's

[C]

not a single listener who's not going to gas you up and say, you would you, Aaron. You could look amazing in anything.

[A]

And I bought it when it was on sale, and now it's not on sale anymore. So.

[B]

Do they let you return it on sale?

[A]

No. Yeah, well, they do. They let me return. I got to return it.

[B]

I also buy a lot of stuff on final sale, so if there's ever an issue where I'm like, they fuck. This isn't the size that I thought it was. I'm, like, absolutely screwed.

[A]

I also thought. I was like, I have some weddings coming up. And I was like, oh, this might be cool. I was thinking about doing, like, a red suit jacket and suit pants.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And I was like, this being the shirt. Cause, like, I was like, I don't wanna wear a tie, but I want something there.

[B]

If you were to wear that to a wedding, Erin, I would definitely recommend having a basket of bread with you as well, because you are going to be asked multiple times if I'm a waiter. If you are a waiter.

[A]

Well, that's what happened at Adam's wedding. I was a groomsman. I was thrilled. I'm wearing a suit, and everyone keeps coming up to me with trays. And they were like, where do you want the hors d', oeuvres? The shrimp? This side or the side? And I was like, I'm actually a beloved friend of mine.

[B]

If I saw you wearing that shirt at a wedding, I might just ask for the check. Instinctively being like, because I see the way you're dressed, I know that I don't want to be at this restaurant any longer. And so I'd be like, can I get a check? Oh, it's Aaron. I'm definitely gonna want to check.

[A]

You cannot wear anything around Improvisers the show in 2018. I showed up to my Harold Team show wearing a white shirt and black pants. And immediately everyone was like, I will take a water with lemon. And do you have any great fish specials today? And I'm like, I fucking hate you guys. Can't wear anything.

[C]

I wore a black I wore my World News Tonight suit to a summer wedding and sat next to Conor o'. Malley. And the whole time he was like, what are you doing? My taxes. What are you selling? The. Like, I was just like. Immediately, I'm like, I'm in for the longest night of my life.

[A]

Yeah. Because what have I done to myself?

[C]

Everyone else is wearing, like, breezy linen blues and all this stuff. It was. And I was just like, I Am in hell.

[A]

Gbc?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hypothetically.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I walk into a recording wearing that shirt I just showed you, and you know I'm going through like a really hard time or whatever, and you go, I can't say anything about the shirt. How long into it do you get a nosebleed from not saying anything, Aaron?

[B]

First of all, I say stuff immediately. Yeah. There's never been a time where I'm like, oh, Aaron's not going through a hard time. Aaron's got it all together.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's never any different to you.

[A]

Is some horrible injury where you couldn't speak for a week. I came to visit you. I brought you up.

[C]

Type it out on one of those. Speak.

[A]

No, not. But that would take a minute. I could run before he got it out.

[C]

He'd have it loaded. He'd have a soundboard.

[B]

If I suffered a horrible injury and I couldn't speak and you're in there in my room, coming to visit you, I'm going, and you're not putting a pillow over my face. I don't know what the fuck you're doing in there. If you're not in there to take your shot, you're missing your shot. And that is weakness.

[A]

No, it won't be sort of a

[C]

spy versus spy energy going on.

[A]

You have an understanding with many people that they'll be the one to kill you. And I'm not going to get in the way of that.

[B]

Can I say this, Aaron? I truly, honestly meant that. I think that. I think that you could pull that off. It's just like the.

[A]

It's just that it's ugly and I think you would look terrible at it.

[B]

No, the situation where you're pulling that off is not a situation where I'm also there because I just don't. I can't see a situation where, like, we're.

[A]

You don't sabotage it.

[B]

Well, no. We're both at the same event that warrants you wearing that shirt that I'm also attending.

[A]

What about a birthday party?

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[C]

A savage, A magician, A clown's birthday party or something.

[B]

What is it? Is it a birthday party for Mother Earth? Like, who's the who's now?

[C]

Aaron, What I'll say is if that was an embroidered. Like, if that was stitched into the shirt, I would be like, aaron, that's one of my favorite shirts you've ever worn. The fact that it's a physical rose poking out under your chin. One, that has to be wildly uncomfortable.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And two, it just feels like if

[B]

there Was a trunk of things that they use on like Whose Line is It Anyway? And they pull that out. I'd be like, that's the perfect thing for an improv short form improv game.

[A]

You know, this feels as unfair as getting attacked by a shark in like a mall.

[C]

Careful.

[B]

Oh, oh.

[A]

I'm not in the water. I'm not wearing the shirt. Fellas, how is it that you can smell the blood from that far away? You look like three sharks. It's a looked at each other. Started walking out of the water being like, we can't resist. Let the killing the crowd.

[C]

Let's go. Aaron, it's your episode. You can start riddles at any time. I forgot if I may reframe this.

[B]

I was having too much fun.

[C]

Aaron, this is like you walking to the ocean, to a beach, and holding up a picture of blood to two sharks in the water.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

That's what this is.

[A]

But it's still very unnatural for the sharks to go. Here we go out of the water to kill this woman.

[B]

I also think, Aaron, the shirt that you first described before I saw a picture of it, I was kind of like quasi on board with. But the fact that it's ruffly, that the red part of the rose is like ruffly and it's right by your neck. Like, I don't even like wearing a necklace a lot of the times because I'm like, I just. I don't. I'm not an accessories guy. You know, it just feels like an accessory on a shirt. And I'm also like, truly the part that bothers me the most is I see someone wearing that and I'm like, how are you cleaning that?

[A]

It's taking you dry clean it.

[B]

Ugh, that sucks. Like whenever I buy something that accidentally is like, the worst is when you buy something that they're like hand wash only.

[A]

I'm like, oh, no. No way.

[B]

You mean no wash only? You mean never wash only?

[A]

You mean throw in with everything else.

[B]

You mean ruin it.

[C]

I'll put in the freezer for you.

[B]

I'll be ruining it.

[A]

Can I just tell you something that's really vulnerable before I start reading these riddles?

[B]

Of course. Aaron says,

[C]

Wild to say that. Wild. That is bonker. It's like a bully.

[A]

It's a tend to get through that.

[C]

It's a bully kicking the shit out of a kid for 10 minutes. And then the kid stands up and he's like, Can I tell you about my dad? My sick dad? Yeah, go ahead, buddy.

[B]

Say while you were punching me. I shit my pants. Would you be able to help me with that? Yeah, go ahead.

[C]

Go ahead, buddy. But please still do, by the way.

[A]

You could not even. You couldn't even begin to get that out. Oh, my God. I'm crying.

[B]

No. What is it?

[A]

Oh, God. Well, now, I don't want to say, but.

[C]

No, no, no, no. You bought the shirt.

[A]

Yeah, No, I bought the shirt just now. Again. No, I paid full price. I. When you were talking just a second ago, I realized I was about to sneeze. And then I was like, oh, well, I'm going to sneeze. And then I have to say something funny after. And I was going to go, sorry, I'm allergic to flowers. And then I thought I was like, they're going to like that one. And then it kind of got rid of the sneeze. Oh, no. And I was like that. That. It felt. That felt like, really vulnerable.

[B]

I would have liked that.

[A]

I would have liked that. But I didn't sneeze.

[B]

We've been trying to. My kid is a toddler, and we've been trying to get them to sneeze and cough into their elbow, like, cover their mouth, basically, when they do it. And they'll always sneeze, and then they'll do the elbow and do a fake. Another little fake sneeze into their elbow. And this is like. It's just something that I say. And there's so many things that you say, but when someone sneezes, I say, God bless you. But now my kid says, God bless me when they sneeze. They say it themselves. And I thought I was thinking about that, and I was like, I say, God bless you unconsciously. And now my kid says, God bless me when they sneeze. And it's very funny, but how hard would it be to get them to say something like brutally funny when they sneeze as well? Like, sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit. Because I would love to see a toddler sneeze and be like, I'm allergic to bullshit.

[A]

I mean, that would make your entire year. How's your. The plan that you had to make them think that ketchup was mustard and mustard was ketchup?

[B]

The problem is that they don't like dipping. The only sauce that they like is ranch. And even that they don't love too much. They just don't love dipping at all. So it's like, I can't even get them interested in ketchup or mustard to begin with. I'm gonna have to wait A few years. I'm gonna have to wait a few years. Can I tell a brief story? Because it kind of circles back to what we were talking about. Before we get into riddles, but we're talking about music. And I've been introducing my kid to more and more music lately. I've been letting them listen to a lot of Fall Out Boy. And now they're like, ask to listen to Fall Out Boy. And it's always very funny. They'll be like, I want Fall Out Boy. And it's always. They always go up and go, like, fall Out Boy. And I go like, yeah, we'll listen to Fall Out Boy. But I was. The other day, they weren't feeling well. Their stomach was hurting, and I was like, oh, if you're not feeling well, I should introduce you to sad girl music. Because I love sad girl music. And so we were playing St. Vincent and soccer Mommy, and we weren't playing Mitsuki, but we were doing Boy Genius. Oh, God. Me, Lucy Dakus.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yes. And we're, like, listening to a lot of that music. And they were like, I like this one. I like this one. They like everything. So it's like. It's not. It's. I actually have no idea if they like it, but they say that they were liking it, but they. They also. There's. I was telling Adel on the way over here that they were having, like, a stomachache. And my kids, two and a half, they never really were big pukers. They never, like, threw up. A lot. That. And so much so that I, like, was not expecting them to. But then as we were listening to this music, they, like, sat up and threw up.

[C]

That's how sad they were. Were you in the car? Were you in the car?

[B]

No, we were just, like. We were. We were in this rental thing because we were on vacation for my wife's mom's retirement, and we had this, like, place by the beach in Florida, and we were on, like, this daybed. But they also. They. My. My kid can speak now. And they are not familiar with throwing up up. So as soon as they. And they. All they had were, like, blueberries and grapes in their stomach because they had a stomachache. So they threw up. And their first thing, they looked at me and they go, what happened to me? And I was like, you threw up? It's like, totally. It's totally normal.

[C]

Like, you should have said, I've never seen that before. We need to get you to the hospital now.

[A]

You should have all started screaming.

[B]

I was internally Freaking out.

[C]

That's ketchup. Barf is ketchup, and mustard is.

[B]

It was like. It was like blueberries and grapes. It was like red liquid, you know? And I was like, oh, no. But it was because they had, you know, blueberries and grapes. But the second thing that they. When we got them cleaned up, they got them in the bathtub and got them cleaned up. The second thing they said, they go, what happened? My blueberries, like, they're like, do blueberries do that? I'm like, no, those are. Don't worry about those blueberries. Those blueberries are like, bad blueberries. It doesn't.

[C]

And I said, I think it would be fun if, like, a universal term for barfing is like, lose your blueberries. If you're like, oh, I'm gonna lose my blueberries. I think that's such a fun phrase to say.

[B]

They told. They told. They told our babysitter today when we got back into town, they were like, I lost all my blueberries and grapes.

[A]

That's so.

[C]

That's so fucking funny.

[A]

I did a character for a showcase in Chicago, like, eight years ago that Adol pitched one of my favorite jokes you've ever said for that I ended up using. And the character was a woman who hasn't sneezed before. Just now, like, she's experiencing that for the first time. And I was talking to Adel about it, and you pitched the joke. I feel like my body's trying to remember a name, and I think about that every time I sneeze. I was like, that is poetry to me. That is, like, you manage to communicate something about the human experience that. I had never heard anyone say that before. But not knowing what. What throw up is and what that experience is about to be, that 30 seconds before must have felt terrifying. Nuts.

[B]

Doing it at an. When you're like. Because, again, they just never did it when they were like, a baby. But, like, doing it when you are very young, before you have the capability of speech, but to do something for the first time, that is crazy. But you also have the ability to, like, convey it in a basic term. Like, to be like, what happened to me? Like, what. What is happening?

[C]

Did you. Do you do that?

[B]

I'm not crazy. That's not normal, right? Have we ever. Has anyone. Am I the first guy to ever do that?

[C]

Should we call the priest?

[B]

What do we do? Is it a priest? Do we call the Pentagon? Like, who do we call? Am I a superhero? Am I. Am I that? Do we call Professor X? Can I go to that school. Am I too young?

[C]

Am I on his radar?

[B]

Do they let babies into that school? Like, what do I do? Like, what do I do? Do I. Can I do this on command? Just like so. So many questions.

[A]

What should we call a priest? I'm dying now.

[C]

You have to write a children's book called Babies for Spark.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

And this all has to be in it.

[A]

Sweet, sweet kid. Oh, brother.

[C]

I saw you pick up your phone to do riddles.

[A]

I don't want to.

[C]

One last thing I want to say.

[A]

Any excuse to.

[C]

One last thing I want to say I love you. But the funniest way you could die. Okay, is if you wore that shirt at an outdoor wedding and you got carried away by bees. Now.

[B]

Yes. Stung to death with bees.

[C]

I'm not saying I want that to happen.

[A]

I'm saying hummingbird impales me through the

[C]

neck, and then the hummingbird's like. I thought. We all thought. Come on.

[B]

If you showed up to my house wearing that shirt, Eren, and it wasn't a singing telegram situation, I would be.

[C]

Well, roses are.

[B]

And violets are blue. Jennifer has a crush on you.

[A]

Jennifer can't afford.

[C]

Mariah's behind you. Who's Jennifer?

[B]

Who's Jennifer? Baby, I don't know.

[C]

Baby, look at her shirt. Baby, look at her shirt.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

That's what the focus should be.

[B]

Okay, we got to take a break. We got to take a break.

[A]

We haven't done a single riddle.

[B]

We're coming back with riddle strong.

[A]

No, but one riddle before break. No. Never mind. I don't care. Sorry, guys.

[B]

Foreign. This podcast is sponsored to you by Squarespace. Hey, everybody, if you're hearing this, it's jpc. I have done a little bit of a whoopsie. I have trapped myself once again in the computer. It's okay. I've made my way to heyriddle. Riddle.com. it's a Squarespace website. We use Squarespace to build it, the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. So whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. The one thing that they do not give you default is a way to get out of your own website if you've been sucked inside of it. So I've been kind of playing around in here looking for exits. I found a bunch of SEO tools. You can get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Have not found like a trap door to get out of the website. I know that Squarespace also gives you videos. They make it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. You can upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. But none of that has again helped me find a way to get sucked out of the computer. Actually doesn't even need to be sucked out. I got sucked in, but I could just walk out if that were an option for me. But if you know any of my options, head to squarespace.com riddle for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use Offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain and tell him JPC sent you and that he's also trapped in a Squarespace website. Okay, bye.

[A]

999 1000. Ready or not, here I come. Oh hey everybody. I'm just playing a quick game of hide and seek with Adel and JPC so you keep an eye out for them while I talk to you about Quints. This past weekend I was out and about with my new Italian suede slouchy midnight blue bag and and I kid you not, several of the most beautiful cool looking women asked me where I got it and I got to go. Quince. It's super affordable. I want my everyday items to be classic and timeless and comfortable and easy and affordable. And that's why I shop at Quint's. Quint's has all the wardrobe staples for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34, lightweight, breathable and comfortable. But they're still going to look put together and clean. 100% prima cotton tees with a softness that has to be felt. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'll find at similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen so you're getting premium materials without the markup. I love everything I have from Quince. I recently got sandals from them. I'm obsessed with their home stuff. If you're looking for basics like rugs or curtains, truly just the most timeless, classic, well made items are over there at Quint's so check it out. Still not seeing Adler gpc. Starting to worry that they went to the movies or something? No, they're around. We'll find them. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quints.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Quince. Q-U-I-N C E.com riddle ridddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year. It is a full year. You can decide if you like it. You're gonna like it. Quince.com Riddle I found you. Oh, no. Sorry. False alarm. Those are just two scarecrows eating dessert waffles. Onward and upward. Hello everybody, it's me, Erin Keefe, here to talk about my dog, Lou. I bet you've heard me talk about Lou hundreds, if not thousands of times on the show because I am obsessed with her. Fun fact about Lou. This past weekend in Palm Springs, she ran face first into a cactus and I did not handle it well. And if anyone gets being dog obsessed, it's Ollie. I love Ollie's dog food. They're relentless about delivering the best food and experience to your dog and they give you a way to check in on their health over and over and over again. Ollie's fresh recipes are developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. They're obsessed with making the best meals in the highest quality ingredients. From the moment you start your subscription, everything is tailored to your dog. The meals are perfectly portioned and you get a puptainer cute and a scoop for easy storing and serving. With Ollie, you don't just get food through their app. You can actually check on your dog's health with real vets just by uploading a picture. Their team can check in on your dog's weight, digestion, teeth and coat because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is as healthy as can be. Lou's getting old and I just want her to be healthy and have the best life she can. Since switching to Ollie, Lou gets even more excited to eat. She clearly loves the food and also, I just noticed she's got a little bit more energy. She's acting like a puppy again and she's running into cactuses, cacti. And she's running into cacti full speed in the middle of the desert. Well, get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com Riddle tell them all about your dog and use code RIDDLE to get 70% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an Obsession guarantee if you're not completely obsessed with, you'll get your money back. That's Ollie o l l I e.com riddle and enter code RIDDLE R I D Neely to get 70% off your first box. Isn't that right, Lou? I thought she would bark on cue. That would have been so awesome if she had barked. She didn't, though. You didn't though, Lou.

[B]

Okay. Adel. Aaron. I. I've. I've seen the movie. I've read the book. I'm all about project Hail Mary nowadays. And I don't want to brag, but I have actually built something that is pretty cool and kind of relates to a sponsor of the show, if you know where I'm going. So this is Adol. This is Rockette. Rockette Money. This is Rockette Money.

[A]

He is a. Oh, like the app that I love.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[C]

Yeah, I had a subscription. Speak of the devil. I had a subscription to the Rockettes at Radio City Music hall and I was losing money hand over legs. And thank God Rocket Money caught it.

[B]

Don't mention hands and legs around rock at money because he doesn't have kind of. Don't worry about it, buddy. Look, all you need to know is that you didn't get your name from the app. You're your own guy. I love you. I found you in space. And Rocket Money has automatic transaction categorization across accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns. You can save for, like, a big event, like it helped me save for my wedding celebration. Or you can use it to set budgets and goals, which is something that I love setting, and I use it daily, weekly, monthly for that as well.

[A]

It has canceled so many unwanted subscriptions, it has saved users over 880 million in canceled subscriptions. I know we're always signing up for free trials for things and forgetting it, and they're hoping that you're not going to notice. But you know who notices? Rocket Money. And they go, not on our watch.

[C]

Rocket Money is like a good wingman at a bar who's like, whoa, you're not buying two old fashions. You're buying one.

[B]

And don't worry, buddy. I'm not going to forget about you when this ad's over, we're going to be really good friends from space because we were in space together. So it's not going to be a situation where I'm not going to forget about you.

[C]

Hey, Aaron, that's just a rock with eyes drawn on. Right, Right.

[A]

Yeah, I see the same thing you see.

[B]

Plus, you can set automated savings goals in Rocket Money. So you can grow towards goals with adjustable amounts and frequencies. You can set it and forget it with Rocket Money.

[C]

Whoa, guys, look. That rock is starting to float in the air. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com/Riddle.

[A]

It's. It's real.

[C]

I love you, Daddy. Oh, GPC, guys.

[B]

I was doing that. I was doing that with my. With my mouth. I'm just. I'm holding it.

[C]

Oh. Oh, yeah. There's a hand on the rock. Well, well, well.

[A]

Welcome back to hey. Erin wore a weird shirt. We are no longer a riddle podcast. We are in the middle of changing our names on every platform. Sorry, everybody, but the no riddles. I'm going to make up for it starting seeing if they have any more jokes about the shirts.

[B]

Now I'm ready for a riddle. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. These are from Will, and they're limerick riddles. Thank you, Will.

[B]

Thank you, Will.

[C]

Roses are red. And on my shirt,

[A]

roses are red. As you can see,

[B]

there once was a woman so wild.

[A]

I'm wearing the shirt of me.

[B]

A sense of style.

[A]

Your.

[B]

She bought the worst shirt. Her podcast has been going on for a while.

[A]

Oh, what do I call this episode? The shirt? Your memories. I didn't. I didn't even. I don't even own it anymore, and I'm not even wearing it right now.

[B]

Yeah. They protected you. They did. They did a good. They did a good job. Elizabeth and Riley looking out for you?

[A]

Yeah. They've been working together lately, and it's. It's. It's hard. I'm. I'm. They're making me better, but they're a good team.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, does that come in other. Like, is there one where it's like a carrot facing up to your mouth?

[A]

I want that one.

[C]

Ooh, the. What's up, da.

[B]

Yeah, you know what?

[A]

I'm gonna start making these. I was like. Also, when I returned it, I was like, I could DIY this.

[B]

What would be your.

[C]

What would you want facing up towards your mouth?

[A]

A knife.

[B]

When you. When you were. When you were.

[A]

Oh, another shirt.

[B]

When you returned that shirt. Did they say we can't accept shirts that have been altered? If you've modified.

[C]

Sell a rose onto a shirt.

[B]

If you've modified A shirt we can't accept, weirdo.

[A]

Your memories, I help you recall in a book, on a desk or a wall journal if you did the crime but don't want the time set up another to take your fall.

[B]

Look at my mental situation.

[A]

Yep. Nope. Your memories I help you recall in a book, on a desk or a wall if you don't. If you did a crime. Yes, a frame.

[B]

Yes, a frame.

[A]

I would like to see a scene.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Adol. You framed JPC for a crime maybe like 10 years ago. And JPC, you're just now getting out of prison and you're running into adol.

[B]

Got it. It. Oh.

[C]

Oh. Pardon me. I'm just trying to get to the.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Oh. Don't hit me. Don't hit me.

[B]

What?

[C]

I said Derek. Whoa. Derek.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

Greg. Yeah. Derek. It's. Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

You framed me for.

[C]

You got out. I mean, where have you been?

[B]

You framed me for a crime.

[C]

What?

[B]

I'm. I'm not mad. Oh, my God, Greg. I'm not mad. Truly. That was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

[C]

Oh, you wrote like a comedy special off of it or something?

[B]

No, it was inherently pretty tragic.

[C]

Yeah, I guess. You were never a stand up.

[B]

Yeah, no, I don't. I don't really know. I don't know what the. I actually don't know what the comedy behind, like, killing someone else's mom would be, but. But no, no, it.

[C]

Chappelle would find a way.

[B]

Chappelle would find the way. God, he's so funny.

[C]

He's so funny.

[B]

Especially lately.

[C]

And I like that he vacillates between.

[B]

He's so much different from when I went in, but now that I'm out, he's so much better.

[C]

I like that he vacillates between, like, hard jokes and then just like,

[B]

what else? I was in such a bad place 10 years ago, but then when you framed me for the murder of your mom, and then I was in. In Sarasota, which is where mom's going to die, let's be honest. But when I got out, out, like, I felt so much better. Like I changed my life. I'm like, I turned over, I went. I went to college. I got my degree while I was a Joe Pesci.

[C]

What was that movie?

[B]

My Cousin Vinnie.

[C]

Yeah. Doesn't he go back to college or something? Stealing Harvard?

[B]

No, my cousin Vinnie. We talk about my cousin Vinnie. Yeah, he doesn't go back to college. He is a lawyer already. Already in that. He does go to jail.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

For three nights. I was there for 10 years.

[C]

Can I get something off my shoulders? I feel like every time, and this has been really tough over the past 10 years, every time I watch, like a CSI or law and Order, I think of you. And it's been really hard on me of, like. It's just so rough to see, like, people being put in jail or. The word jail. The word jail, monopoly. Like, it's been. It's just really. It's been painful.

[B]

It's truly. It is no sweat off my back. It is not a big deal. It is. I. There's. It's water under the bridge.

[A]

Here's your Lamborghini Geeser. That was fun to drive. We don't get to drive a lot of great cars like that. You're. You're incredible.

[C]

You're welcome. Oh, this is mine or.

[A]

Yeah, this is your. Well, you must have so many cars. You must be rich. Rich. If you didn't even recognize.

[B]

You can't tell that this person's a valet. Yeah, they're wearing the uniform. White shirt, shirt, big red flower.

[A]

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[B]

The rose.

[C]

The rose is shooting her.

[A]

Shut up. I killed my friend.

[B]

The self. Insert character yelling at you to shut up.

[A]

Shut up. And scene.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

And scene.

[B]

Scene. Very funny, Aaron. I would have done that to you at an improv show. If you were wearing that shirt for the improv show, every character you would be would be about a.

[A]

Then I would have taken off the shirt. It would have been naked, and everyone would have felt horrible. It would have been an absolute public meltdown.

[C]

It does feel like in improv, they say if you're doing a live show, to dress fairly neutral so that you can play anything, portray anything.

[B]

What's the rules? Like, don't be the worst dressed. Don't be the best dressed. You want to aim for somewhere in the middle.

[A]

Sharna used to say, look like you're going on a first date, but the first date is bowling.

[C]

Big top hat.

[B]

Big top hat, jean shorts, tons of fucking rings.

[A]

I am a beetle. These are more of Will's limericks. I am a beetle.

[B]

Bring it.

[A]

Paul, but not Ringo or Paul. No rivers and mountains. I've seen them all.

[B]

Aaron, does it really say I'm a Beatle, but not Ringo or Paul?

[A]

I am a Beetle, but not Ringo or Paul.

[C]

George Harrison.

[B]

Was that. Did I say Ringo and Paul? Was that the order that I said it in?

[A]

That's the order you said it. That is the spookiest.

[B]

That's fucking.

[C]

And Can I just say, besides this moment right here, no one has ever listed the Beatles in that order.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I know.

[C]

No one goes, let me list the Beatles, Ringo, Paul.

[B]

Right.

[C]

No one in the history. You know how they say if you shuffle a deck of cards, that sequence has never existed in the entire existence of humanity? That's what that was.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

I always say Ringo, George, John, and. What's the other one? That's how I say it.

[B]

Can I be honest with you guys? These riddles are not from Will. I wrote these.

[C]

Is that real?

[A]

No, I. You've done that before. Can I be vulnerable again? I hate it here. Is this a safe place to say this?

[B]

Just making fake.

[A]

And it's not as a case.

[B]

Fake. Gmail.

[A]

I won't say who it's about. Oh, God.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What the fuck am I doing? I'm a beetle, but not Ringo or Paul. Rivers and mountains, I've seen them all in arm and in page I held the world for an age Then Google did usher my fall.

[C]

Usher Pete best.

[B]

No, Google ushered your fall. Ask Jeeves.

[A]

No rivers. And since I've seen them all in Armin and Paige I held the world for an age.

[C]

Atlas Dictionary.

[A]

Yes. An atlas.

[C]

How is it a beetle?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, an Atlas beetle. Oh, Atlas beetle.

[B]

Wait, is that a type of beetle?

[C]

I guess so. Sounds right.

[B]

Wait, everybody wait. Oh, and then when I was like, what is that? People?

[C]

Like, I was one of the beetles that like rolls up a big ball of shit and then. But then it lifts it up, like, Atlas holds up the world.

[B]

An Atlas beetle is like one of the Volkswagen's, like bigger model Beetles. Like, if Shaq wanted to drive a beetle, he could drive an Atlas beetle. It's like the size of a semi cab.

[C]

They make one a year.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Adol. You are Atlas, and you've been carrying the world on your shoulders. Jpc, you are his boss. Doing his, like, quarterly performance review.

[B]

Got it. Actually, not even necessary. Atlas, you can leave the world right out there. Come on into the office.

[C]

Is someone taking over?

[B]

Yeah, Pete. Pete's gonna take over.

[C]

Pete. Pete.

[B]

Pete's gonna do it.

[A]

I gotcha.

[C]

Okay, hand off in three, two.

[A]

Wait on go after three or. Doesn't matter.

[C]

Three, two, one, go. Ready?

[B]

Pete's got it. He's got. He's got the uniform for it.

[C]

Oh, God, that feels amazing.

[B]

Well, don't get too used to it because you're going right back out. Just wanted. Hey. It's been a year. I know. Because of the Way that you've rotated or whatever.

[C]

Are my wife and kids here to see me or.

[B]

Oh, no. Conjugal visits are only for prisoners. So, like, you know the people. That guy's getting his liver eaten out and the boulder up a hill guy.

[C]

Sisyphus.

[B]

Sisyphus. He gets conjugals.

[C]

His real name is Tom.

[A]

Are my ears burning?

[C]

Sisyphus.

[B]

Hey, it's actually time for your. It's time, Sisyphus, for your conjugal if you want to.

[A]

Oh, hell, yeah. I already had a boner on my way.

[C]

What sucks is he fucks until he's just about to come, and then he has to start over for sure.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Having to start over.

[A]

Wait, so are you guys talking about me?

[C]

No, Sting. We're talking about Sting.

[B]

We're talking about Sting.

[C]

Hello?

[A]

All right, see you guys later.

[B]

Just wanted to do your performance review real quick. We'd love to give you a promotion. There's just nothing available. Kind of at the next level. Sure, kind of. Every other planet is already being, like, held. Yeah. In the sky.

[C]

I could be, like, the God of war or.

[B]

Yeah, the problem with that is the old God of war would have to die.

[C]

Oh, I could be. I took in college. I took one year of nautical studies. So I could be the guy who takes the boat. The ferry across into hell.

[B]

Oh, okay. Karen.

[C]

Karen.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, her. I'm so sorry. I could be the woman who.

[B]

You know what? I've never asked. They just said Karen, and I said Karen. Welcome.

[A]

I'm sorry to interrupt. Line three. He seems pretty upset.

[B]

Who's on line three?

[A]

Icarus.

[B]

Icarus.

[A]

He seems pretty upset.

[B]

He seemed. Did okay.

[A]

You asked him to fly into the sun.

[B]

Something must have happened when you took the call. Did it sound like he was plummeting?

[A]

Sounded like a whooshing and like a scream. Great.

[B]

Keep him on hold for, like, 30 more seconds.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it'll kind of resolve it. Thank you. Thank you.

[A]

Oh, hi, Atlas.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

All right, I am going back up there.

[B]

You know what, Atlas? This is crazy. I think I'm going to. We've been wanting to let go Hermes, the messenger God, because they don't really get screening calls, you know? And it's like, just because you can move fast and deliver the message.

[A]

Boss, your mother is on line one. Whenever you're ready. I told her you're excited to talk to her.

[C]

Wings on the shoes. What does that do for you?

[A]

You're not flying cool style. Also, my shirt has a rose. I said it first, bitch. Can't can't catch me.

[C]

Beep beep, roadrunner.

[A]

Nice try, asshole.

[C]

Paints a big tunnel runs through it.

[A]

Either I'm wild or left in my place Olivia. Come on. Maybe Maurice. Or a cowboy from space dressed in a colorful.

[C]

Where the Olivia wild things are. We're the Olivia wild Maurice Sendak. Isn't that the guy who wrote.

[A]

Yeah, this is your word associating in your head Inspiring in all sailors. Let's come safely back to one. JBC started the poison train and everyone jumped on either I'm wild all over

[B]

the world get poisoned.

[A]

Either I'm wild or left of my place. Maybe Maurice. Or a cowboy from space dressed in a colorful hat.

[C]

Oh, this is obsessed. I'm alert.

[A]

Oh, no. Sorry. Steve dressed in a colorful hat. Steve Billerband oppose to a bat. Jared did me a disgrace subway.

[C]

We both joker.

[A]

I'm wild. Yeah. Joker.

[B]

Is it joker.

[C]

I'm a joker.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay.

[C]

I do want to see a scene.

[B]

Jared Harris played the Joker.

[C]

Wait, what? Who's Jared Harris?

[B]

Jared Harris is a.

[A]

Let's go on a break.

[B]

Different. I'm trying to think of another famous Jared. Jared Harris is a character actor.

[C]

I do want to see a scene. Jpc. You are a king of some far off land. Aaron, you are the new. The Joker was killed by the king, and you're the new joker. This is your first day on the job,

[B]

So I think a big part of learning how to please me and learning how to know what I like and what. What makes me laugh is like getting to know me. So don't expect to be the funniest joker that you could be today. Okay. You have. There's like a. You get like a whole week to kind of ease into being a joker.

[A]

Great. A whole week. I got a whole week.

[B]

So just like, you know, maybe just like.

[A]

Knock, knock.

[B]

We don't. What? Not. You're already inside.

[A]

Who? Okay, well, can't do that.

[C]

My Lee. Should I behead the jester?

[B]

Okay, this is funny. This is like an Adam Sandler thing. We have Adam Sandler here.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. Habadoobi.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. You like that kind of thing. Who am I? I am the. I am the king. And we have. Who am I?

[B]

Is it Borat? Are you doing Borat? My wife, Sasha Baron Cohen is no Adam Sandler.

[A]

Fart.

[B]

Sharpen the sword or whatever. Just get it on.

[A]

You said I had a wiener.

[B]

Normally people get a weak. Here, here's just. Why don't you riff for a little while? Do I Crowd work, crowd work. Yes, do crowd work, Jokery. Crowd, crowd work.

[A]

Hey, everybody, welcome to this room. When I do a cart, and when I do a cartwheel, it makes a little bell sound. That's a fun fact about me. Now hold on, hold on.

[B]

Okay, now I'm. Now I'm on board. Yay. More Sandler's.

[A]

Okay, okay, let me start over. Sure. Hey, everybody, thanks for coming out to this big hall that has candles on the side. Anyone first here? Time here tonight. Anyone here on a date?

[C]

I'm here on a date.

[B]

This is Mark. He's also new Executioner.

[A]

Oh, great. What do you do for a living, Mark?

[C]

Execute.

[A]

You're an executioner. 101 executioners.

[C]

That's how I met my wife.

[A]

Oh. Oh.

[C]

But then I killed her. Now I'm on a first date.

[A]

All right, execute. 101 executioners roll into a bar. Bartender says I can't serve executioners here.

[B]

Alcohol is illegal in this kingdom.

[A]

Okay. Sex with me is like sex with an executioner. I'll give you head. What? What? I'll give you head. And everyone will gasp.

[B]

Okay, you're staying. I like what I like.

[A]

And I'm wearing a white shirt with a rose on it. Scene, scene.

[B]

Oh, Aaron. Sex with me, like an executioner. I give you head and everything.

[C]

Pretty good if you're heading a basket.

[B]

Mm. Mm.

[A]

What was I talking about? I was doing riddles.

[C]

We solved that one. JPC solved it, right, Joker.

[B]

Joker. Yeah.

[A]

You might see me on a mound or perhaps in a fridge. I am found.

[B]

Jesus. Pitcher, pitcher, pitcher, pitcher, pitcher.

[A]

If you speak with a twang, I'm a thing you could hang called a ball. If I aim toward the ground.

[C]

Can you adjust that?

[B]

Pitch two. You got a one line in. You got a one line in.

[C]

Found on a mound. I mean, what's found on a mound?

[A]

I'd like to see a scene, a sermon in the picture.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

Jbc, you're a catcher. Adel, you are a pitcher. And you guys are doing that little convo that they have on the mound.

[C]

Hey, can you be honest?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Are my pitches slow?

[B]

They're so slow. They're so slow. You've actually gotten a few strikes outs. Because I think they're anticipating them being, like, way faster. Yeah. Something going on?

[C]

Yeah. I just feel I. I took one of those personality. One of those Buzzfeed tests.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I got. It was the Sopranos one.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[C]

And I got that I'm a Janice.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And I feel like Janice is kind of a Mess.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I thought I'd get, like, a Furio or something.

[B]

Sure. No. But that's why I don't even. I won't even take those. Do you.

[C]

You've never taken a Buzzfeed test that. Honestly, that is such a Charlotte thing to do.

[B]

I honestly. I took the. Which Smurf RU1, and I. I don't even remember which Smurf I got. I'm not familiar.

[C]

There's only two. There's.

[B]

What do you mean, there's only two?

[C]

Well, I'm. There's only two in the Zeitgeist. Papa Smurf and Smurfette, which I think Smurfette was created just for the Smurfs. I don't want to get into this. I think she's like, do you want

[B]

me to see if they will take you out? Do you want me to see if they'll take you out?

[C]

Let's keep stalling and see if they'll call. Just call.

[B]

Just call the game.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I tell you, I am also.

[C]

Yeah. How are you?

[B]

Well, I'm not, like, catching a lot of the balls. I mean, you're pitching, and I'm just,

[C]

like, kind of letting a lot of home runs kind of, like, hit it.

[B]

Hit me or fall to the ground.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I'm so nervous that I'm gonna repeat what happened yesterday. I think, as far as I know, I'm the only catcher to ever catch a live bird.

[C]

That's not your fault.

[B]

It is my fault. Well, I. I felt like I reached so far.

[C]

You did.

[B]

It's my walk.

[C]

Did they say it's dead?

[B]

Yeah, I just got. No, I just got an email.

[C]

Were the.

[B]

It's definitely dead.

[C]

Were the Cardinals. Were the St. Louis Cardinal.

[A]

The birds. Families in the front row, and they're wearing, like, little baseball hats, and they're, like, looking, and they're really nervous.

[C]

They give them free tickets and swag. Hey, go talk. Go give them, like, an autograph.

[B]

I can't walk over there, because I think I'm gonna grab another one of them. Yeah, it's involuntary, you know, it's like, you see something out of the corner of your eyes, you grab it. You're a catcher. I'm a catcher.

[C]

You are better at catching things than 99.9% of the population. How can they be surprised?

[B]

What are you doing Thursday? Because I'm gonna need you at the trial.

[A]

Hey, guys, I'm the umpires checking in. I'm also wearing a white shirt with bread. Yeah. Yeah. I was faster than You. Casey. Run the tape. Run the tape back. I was faster. Okay, thank you. To Will. Yes, Will. He gave me permission for his few name. Will Parsons. Thank you, Will Parsons. These are from. We have time for a couple more.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

I think so. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

These are from Greg Burns.

[B]

Let's do two of Greg's. Thank you, Greg.

[A]

And Greg is a big Casey fan.

[B]

How tall?

[A]

Ha ha ha. A big fan of your work on Neo Scum and Gutter.

[C]

Thank you, Greg.

[B]

Very cool, Greg.

[A]

Here we go. I exist in only one place. The overlap. Remove the French. I am just livestock. Remove the livestock. I am just a nocturne Together. I am something no one has commissioned, no one has requested, and no one can quite explain why they now know the word for. And this is something from our show. It is a. Hey, riddle, riddle.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Remove the French from our episodes. You're getting 20 minutes of content.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe remove the Italian. We have 30 seconds of plugs.

[B]

Now, I want to, like, guess things that are, like, unique to our show, but I don't.

[A]

So let me give you an outside hint. This is, I would say, if. When we are put in front of our peers in our trial against humanity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I guarantee you this will be one of their first examples of the harm we've done to the world.

[C]

So, Aaron, what you're describing is the Seinfeld finale. So you think that this podcast ends with the four of us going to jail.

[A]

Yeah. And then Casey's spin off, like the thing he does later. Well, that will be the finale of his Curb youb Enthusiasm type thing is an echo of that.

[C]

I made a deal with the district attorney.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I fucking knew it. This is one of the worst things we've ever done.

[B]

This is one of the worst things we've ever done.

[A]

For sure. Not even. Yeah, like, really inarguably. I exist in only one place. The overlap. Remove the French. I am just livestock. That's probably the most helpful part.

[B]

Remove the. Okay, let's focus on that. Remove the French. I am just livestock.

[A]

It is a French thing. It is a French abattoir.

[B]

Freedom fries. French fries. Fries.

[A]

Something that is. It's like a proper noun.

[B]

Croissant. Croissant.

[C]

Pierre.

[A]

It is Pierre.

[C]

One imports.

[A]

Pierre. No, it is a Eiffel Tower.

[C]

Jean Luc.

[A]

If you're thinking to something you can hold in your hand rather than maybe a piece of art or work. Renoir can't hold it in your hand.

[B]

It's a piece of art that you can't hold in your hand.

[C]

Renaissance. French.

[A]

Yeah. So what's something that's artistic that you can't hold in your hands, but it's a different sense, imagination.

[B]

Come with me and you'll see and

[A]

you can hear it.

[B]

It's French art that you can hear, but you can't pull.

[A]

Yeah, you can play. Oh, oh, oh.

[B]

Les Mis.

[A]

No, not Les Mis.

[B]

That was great.

[A]

It's a. I actually don't even know if this is written by a French person, but the title is French and it's a piece of music.

[C]

Clair de Lune. Yes, with the pig orgasms.

[A]

Yes, it is a pig orgasm set to Clair de Lune. Casey, hit it. No, no, no.

[B]

Just kidding.

[A]

I'm kidding.

[B]

No. Can you read that riddle one more time? I want to think about the pig orgasm the whole time you're reading it.

[A]

I exist only. I exist in only one place. The overlap. Remove the French, I am just livestock. Remove the livestock. I am just a nocturne. Together I am something no one has commissioned, no one has requested, and no one can quite explain why they now know the word for.

[C]

Do you think if we dug up Debussy.

[A]

Okay, hold on.

[C]

And put headphones on him, and then once he stops screaming because of technology and played him Clerdalune with the pig orgasms, do you think he'd be like, that's awesome that I'm still relevant, or would he be like, this is. I did nothing.

[B]

What if we go back in time, we get him before he writes Clair de Lune and we give him Clair de Lune with the pig orgasm, and he goes, I have a great idea that he comes back with a symphony.

[A]

What if we already did that?

[B]

Just the pig orgasm.

[A]

What if we already did that match? And that's what Claire de Lune.

[B]

I cut out the.

[C]

Can you mention the one guy in the orchestra back then playing the Pig Orgasm, where he's like, can I get two minutes for him to reload?

[B]

He's standing up on the stage, hands up, Little conductor thing in his hand.

[A]

This is the butterfly effect, but this is pretty heavy handed.

[B]

Okay, can we get one more riddle from Gregy, baby?

[A]

I came unbidden, wild and loud A burst of pride before the crowd. A single beat. Then silence fell not from a bell, but just as well. I am no word you'd write or spell but once I rang a dream turned hell. What am I truly? One of my favorite riddles we've ever had on the show.

[C]

Beautifully written.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I came unbidden, wild and loud. A burst of pride before the craft. A single beat Then silence fell. Not from a bell, but just as well. I am no word you'd write or spell, but once I rang, a dream turned hell. What am I?

[B]

So is this. Aaron, is this like one of your sound effects that you've done on the show?

[A]

This is a sound effect.

[B]

It's a sound effect. Is it the.

[A]

This would be if we had a finale. Speaking of a Harry Little Riddle finale, this would be. Oh, here we go. Episode's ending. Adol.

[C]

Is it?

[B]

Is it? Is it when Adol stepped on the rat when he was wearing flip flops.

[A]

But that's if we do have a

[B]

finale that sounds like sounds, that exists.

[A]

I would say that this is probably our number one most associated sound with the show. And if we had to read a last riddle on the show, I'd probably have a video.

[B]

Howard Dean's cream.

[A]

The Howard Dean.

[B]

Casey had it too. I could see it in Casey's eyes. He knew it was happening.

[C]

I wish I could play it.

[A]

I know. The one time, the one time we're

[B]

in person, we can't play Howard Dean's green screen.

[C]

Will you read it one more time with that in mind?

[A]

Yeah. I came unbidden, wild and loud. A burst of pride before the crowd, a single beat. Then silence fell.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Not from a bell, but just as well. I am no word you'd write or spell. Yeah, I was, but once I rang, a dream turned hell.

[C]

If us talking about the Howard Dean scream led to that poetry, then let it be. It will have all been worth it. Casey, can you also make the song hey Ya, but replace the yah with the Howard Dean scream? Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[A]

Can you play Clair de Lune? Pig orgasm and Howard Dean scream at the same time?

[C]

Yeah. Should you end humanity, this is the horn blow that ends all of existence.

[B]

This is like a psychopath test. Like to see if Casey will do it so that we could have him officially committed. Okay. Well, thank you. Thank you so much, Greg, for Simmons. That was truly beautiful. Was it Greg? It was Greg, right? I've been calling you Greg. So if it's not. That's what it is now, Greg.

[A]

Thank you, Greg.

[B]

What do we have to plug? Does anyone have anything?

[C]

Aaron, do you want to plug whoever made that? What company makes that shirt?

[A]

Farmrio. Oh, it's Farm Rio.

[B]

Farmrio.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know if I can ever give them my business again because it will fully take up a complete real estate of time in Haverhill backfiring.

[B]

Every time you give them business, they lose business. So it's like. It's not. It's not good for them. Yeah.

[A]

So you can check out Quality Time, which is a show I host in LA that I'm really proud of and love. It's once a month and you can follow us on Instagram to see our lineup in the channel dates. Adam, anything to plug.

[C]

I want to plug Kasey's podcast, the aforementioned gutter and neosgum.

[B]

Yeah. When this comes out. World News Tonight is ending their run at IO, but we have one. Technically we have two more shows for when this comes out, but I'm only going to be in the last one. So if you want to see me in the final World News tonight show at IO, it'll be on May 30th, 7:30 or. I'm sorry. Yeah, 7:30 at IO. So you can find out how to get tickets. You go to the website or whatever and buy them. They're there. But come and see the World News.

[A]

Definitely go see that. I love World News.

[B]

Yeah. One of the final ones at IO. We might take the show somewhere else, but not at I. Okay, that's all. I think that's all I have to plug. And since we're in person, I just don't have a review to read.

[C]

Aaron. Atlas, of course, holds up Earth, but there's a certain God named, I want to say Gooey Tony.

[B]

Gooey Tony.

[C]

Who holds up another planet. Aaron, do you know what planet that is?

[A]

Jupiter Hot dog. White shirt with a rose on.

[B]

Gooey Tony would hold up, play that hot dog. I think that's cool.

[A]

What if the shirt was a hot dog instead of a rose? Are you on board with that?

[C]

Honestly?

[A]

Yeah, shut up.

[C]

Honestly. Yeah, honestly. Honestly. Number one seller. We all wear that constantly.

[B]

If I saw you. If I saw you showing up wearing a shirt that had a hot dog on the collar, I. You are now known for hot dogs. So, like, that would make so much sense to me. I'll buy you a hot dog shirt, baby.

[A]

I'll buy you something nice, baby. I'll buy you a hot dog shirt

[C]

and cover it with ketchup.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And mustard.

[B]

And John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing and Marty Perrin did the music created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there, Hots and takes. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's episode. We bring you more listener submitted hot takes. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] Heyriddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[A]

That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[C]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan.

[B]

And we host the podcast that was

[C]

Us now on Headgum.

[A]

Each episode we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[B]

Are we gonna cry?

[C]

Yes. Little bit. Are we gonna laugh A lot.

[B]

A lot. A whole lot.

[C]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to.

[B]

That was us on your favorite podcast app.

[C]

Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify.

[B]

New episodes every Tuesday.