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Aaron Sheenan
This is a headgun podcast.
JPC
The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. He was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an icicle and the horse's name. Right.
Aaron Sheenan
So I'm just filling out this survey. It'll only take a second of your time. On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied are you with. Hey, riddle. Riddle. One being, ugh, this place stinks. Ten being, oh, my gosh, I'm having the best time.
JPC
I'm sorry, I guess I'm not truly understanding the scale. Could you give me an example of what, like, a four would be?
Aaron Sheenan
A four would be like. I mean, we're recording today and, like, it should be pretty good. It should be. But no, no, I'm really not in the mood to do riddles.
JPC
Okay. Yeah, that's not my experience. What about a 7? Because maybe I'm like, splitting the difference on the wrong side of the scale.
Aaron Sheenan
Right, right. Of course. A seven is like, I bet, like, it looks like these guys have had their coffee today. I feel like we're gonna have an okay time. Ah, fuck, I forgot we have to do riddles.
JPC
Okay, yeah, I'm truly not getting it. Just give me 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, and 9, and then I'll be good.
Aaron Sheenan
How about just one syllable sounds? Does that work for both of you?
Adel Refai
Dad, is mom at the door? Is that Mom?
JPC
Maybe new Mom. I'm playing my cards exactly right. Uno, reverse.
Aaron Sheenan
Ow. He just threw a Uno card right between my eyes. That hurt.
JPC
Mo Cheri
Aaron Sheenan
Chew is.
JPC
Ugh.
Aaron Sheenan
Three is. Four is. Oh, no, I already did four. Five is huh. Six is. Eight is.
JPC
Oh, is nine is better than huh?
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, of course. Are you insane? First day on Earth.
JPC
I'm not insane. I'm. Uno gambit.
Aaron Sheenan
Nine is. Okay, what number Can I put down your phone number?
JPC
I guess I. Holy shit, son. She's hitting on me. It did work, mon am, mon ami.
Aaron Sheenan
Forget it, forget it, forget it, guys. Let's just. We're just gonna record an episode. I'm tired of knocking on doors.
JPC
Yeah, I'm tired of knocking on doors, too. And the person who said that is named jpc. Big trick out of Aaron.
Aaron Sheenan
Nope. The person who played the son in the scene. You're not going to believe this. It was a grown up. That's out of five.
JPC
Whoa.
Adel Refai
And then, of course, Una Gambit, adapted for the screen by Jay Bisley.
JPC
Adapted for the screen. And that's kind of what we're doing. We're adapting this for your Screen. I'm assuming that everybody's watching or listening to podcasts the way that I watch it on YouTube, even though it's not a video feed. So you're just watching like a blank YouTube screen while the podcast is playing?
Aaron Sheenan
Yes.
Adel Refai
Yeah.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah.
JPC
That's how our fans engage.
Aaron Sheenan
I wouldn't even know how to do that. I wouldn't even know.
JPC
I do think that they're. There's probably a way. Right, because YouTube has, like, YouTube music, right? Or something?
Adel Refai
Whoa, Are they. Did they dip their toes in the music game?
JPC
Look, I know that when I upload podcast feeds, sometimes I get things from YouTube that says, your podcast is successfully been uploaded to YouTube, even though I have never done a video podcast in my entire life. So somehow I think you can listen to this show on YouTube.
Adel Refai
So obviously podcasts started off as a audio medium. They are now very popular for them to be a visual medium.
JPC
I see. Now it's more like an audio small.
Adel Refai
Uh oh, Another episode of Audio Small Audio. What do we. Where do we think this is headed? Back to audio.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah. I mean, there's podcasts on Netflix now, so we've sort of. Podcasts are just TV again. Like, we keep doing, like, the evolution from radio to TV over and over again.
Adel Refai
Yeah. Yes. I feel like we should. Every medium shouldn't advance to tv because. Hey, some of those. What are those? The Fable games with the Wolf Detective. Oh, yeah, those popular games.
JPC
Yeah, Fable game. Yeah, I know it's the name of
Adel Refai
them, but there's a bunch. But it's like video games have now turned into tv, where it's like, all cut screens. The wolf among us. The wolf among us. Thank you, Casey.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, yes.
Adel Refai
Very fun game. But at the same time, you have very little autonomy. It's just become a TV episode. Everything's becoming tv. How do we.
JPC
I would love it if our show signed a deal with Netflix. Whatever. We go exclusive on Netflix and people are scrolling through Netflix and they find our show. They're like, what the fuck? Like, I agree.
Adel Refai
That's not Davidson.
JPC
We should be devaluing everything. We should be making everyone's experiences worse.
Aaron Sheenan
Specifically should be devaluing the medium. Okay.
JPC
The people who are scrolling through Netflix podcast to be like, I want to watch a podcast on Netflix. They. That cannot be the same person that would find our show and be like, oh, good.
Aaron Sheenan
Hubba hubba. Yeah, I like. I like getting to not look good. Like, it's a classic saying of like, you got a face for radio, Ed.
JPC
I'll say something. I think this is the part where we say something, right? We have to say something like nice or something.
Aaron Sheenan
The window is closing on them to
Adel Refai
say, when I get you a cat.
Aaron Sheenan
That's exactly what I was testing you
Adel Refai
for doing, and you passed the test.
Aaron Sheenan
Well, that is not a cat. That is a very six something. But not a cat.
Adel Refai
Well, possums are obviously.
JPC
I make myself pretty for you. Aaron, you're not.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, you look. I mean, you look gorgeous this morning.
JPC
That sounds pretty for me.
Aaron Sheenan
But like, video killed the radio star. In order to be a big podcaster, now you have to be hot again. Excuse me.
Adel Refai
I like this. I like the music days back where like, someone's like, hello, baby. And you're like, that guy could look like anything.
JPC
Sounds like one guy.
Adel Refai
Well, the Big Bopper, of course, sounds
JPC
like the Big Bopper.
Adel Refai
I forget his real name.
JPC
Chet Popper.
Adel Refai
Chet Bopper. Tom Hanks's son. Chet Bopper. But I like the days where you put on a song and you're like, I don't know what this person looks like. They could be anything. And now it's like I have to look at. I have to look at a guy eating hot wings for two hours.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, you have to.
JPC
And you were telling me you think we should all put on suits when we go on airplanes again too. Right?
Adel Refai
I feel like we've become real relaxed as a kind of put on your Sunday best. Can I fly? Act like you're going to church. Yeah, please.
JPC
We used to put on suits to fly on an airplane, and now we're all putting on suits to watch on an airplane. Now. This is a joke. This will only work seven years ago.
Aaron Sheenan
Okay, so.
JPC
But it's never seven years ago again.
Adel Refai
Time traveling stand up.
JPC
Okay. Okay, New character. All right, let's do it. Let's play time traveling stand up.
Aaron Sheenan
Okay, great.
Adel Refai
I like the idea of going further in time and trying to relate and failing. Okay, so we're doing time traveling stand up.
Aaron Sheenan
Okay.
JPC
Well, yeah, here's my thing with time traveling stand up.
Adel Refai
Yes.
JPC
Do you think Adol, you would be better as a forward time traveling stand up or a backward time traveling stand up?
Adel Refai
I think backward forward's a challenge, though. Forward's. Forward's a challenge. More of a challenge. But you could.
Aaron Sheenan
Or it's just how standups have to write their stand up right now. Like if they have a set tomorrow night, it's forward, isn't it?
Adel Refai
Aaron, all stand up is in the future.
Aaron Sheenan
That's what I'm saying.
Adel Refai
Holy shit. So, yeah, you walk on stage and you're like, can you believe Walmart? And people are like, walmart just went under. And we're like, oh, oh, shit, I'm ruined. Shuffles through my cards.
JPC
Oh, God. My whole standup bit was about how successful Walmart is. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Adel Refai
I'm a good stand up.
JPC
Okay, so time traveling stand up. Yeah. Let's see. Do you want send me two a year or Aaron?
Adel Refai
Aaron. We're going to send you two a year.
Aaron Sheenan
Great. I'm ready.
JPC
Okay. Aaron, time traveling standup. Let's send you to Summer of Love. What is that, 68?
Adel Refai
69, baby.
JPC
69 or 68? I can't remember which one it is, but either way, Aaron.
Adel Refai
68.
JPC
68. Summer of love.
Adel Refai
Okay, so let me just crack this possum in half and just drink from the bottom half. Arin. And this will send you back in time.
JPC
Oh, that's what you thought the bottom half of opossum was, huh? I would have said the other half.
Adel Refai
Interesting. Oh, Aaron's gone.
Aaron Sheenan
Hey, everybody, thanks so much for coming over here.
Adel Refai
Yeah, man, thanks for being here.
Aaron Sheenan
I got a couple questions for the group. These are just two things that are of equal importance in my mind right now. Number one, how many more Kennedys do you think we're gonna lose to assassination?
Adel Refai
What?
Aaron Sheenan
Number two, when do we think deodorant's gonna sort of have its big boom, huh? That's my time.
JPC
That's all our time.
Adel Refai
This is all our time.
Aaron Sheenan
Appreciate Diane Keaton while you've got her.
Adel Refai
That's my d. We probably got another 45 years.
Aaron Sheenan
That's what I'm saying. But appreciate it.
JPC
That's why not to go to the
Aaron Sheenan
Vietnam War, if you can. That sounds awful.
JPC
Are there any celebrities that are going to die earlier than Diane Keaton in 45 years?
Adel Refai
Don't tell me Woody Allen dies.
Aaron Sheenan
Man, you wish. I don't even think he's famous yet. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Adel Refai
The Beatles writer for Sid Caesar's. Your show of shows.
Aaron Sheenan
I didn't drink enough of the possum. I'm out of here. I was gonna tell you to maybe save the Beatles, but, oh, that's the worst part. Have you guys been to the moon yet?
JPC
Anyways, don't drink enough of the possum.
Aaron Sheenan
You guys. I'm back and I crushed. And there's no way for you to check.
Adel Refai
Whoa, Aaron. That's funny, because JVC had already. And I already went back in time and did ours.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, how'd it go?
JPC
Great.
Adel Refai
JPC was in the Wild west, he did get shot in the stomach. Cool.
JPC
Just the stomach, though. Missed everything important.
Adel Refai
And I went back to 2023.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, that doesn't feel like far enough.
JPC
If you ever go into. If you ever go into the wild, wild west, like, era and you're doing stand up, they really do not.
Adel Refai
Wicker, wicker.
Aaron Sheenan
And you know what?
JPC
Maybe it makes sense, but they really did not like, my white people drive like this. Black people drive like this because they were like horse rain. Well, I didn't. It would have been.
Aaron Sheenan
You just pretended to ride horses two different ways.
JPC
I had to explain cars to them. Which.
Aaron Sheenan
Did they get scared?
JPC
No. If I had Taylor made it to their thing that. Oh, God. Well, I'm not going back. It's just not worth it. Nope. Would you.
Aaron Sheenan
No. I'm going back. 2012, I got a Mitt Romney binders filled with women joke that I think is going to crash.
Adel Refai
For that to be a soundbite from not too long ago and then for all the soundbites we have now. Boy, oh, boy.
Aaron Sheenan
I know.
Adel Refai
What a world. But this is a world of riddles, which I love.
JPC
What a segue. A world of riddles.
Adel Refai
Can you imagine the Disney ride?
JPC
Can I ask you guys a question? Now, I don't even remember what it was that I saw, but sometimes I guess you'll just be watching TV or a movie or something and. And someone will bring up riddles. In the show or in the universe of the thing, do you ever get, like, a little. I don't know what it would be. Maybe like a spike of anxiety where it's like.
Aaron Sheenan
It's like seeing an X. Yeah.
JPC
It's like something. Exactly. Aaron. It's exactly like seeing an ex.
Adel Refai
That's how I feel like when I see a Sudoku because I'm like, I've. I haven't been touching crosswords or Sudoku.
Aaron Sheenan
Like, I've been clean.
Adel Refai
Yes. I've only been on lateral thinking puzzles
JPC
clean from Sudoku. It always, always tripped me up when that happens, where I'm like, oh, riddle. My work, my work life and my home life, they're blending.
Aaron Sheenan
You also, like, I feel an un. Like an intense pressure to get it right if I'm ever crossing a riddle or doing, like, a puzzle in real life. Because people are like, isn't that your whole brand? I'm like, no, no, no. If you listen to the show, you'd know that being bad at it is the brand. This past Saturday, I went to a birthday party and the birthday boy wanted, like, A riddle or a fun fact as a gift.
JPC
Okay.
Aaron Sheenan
And so I brought a riddle book.
Adel Refai
Who is this kid?
Aaron Sheenan
His name's John Marr. He's really nice. He's a good guy. Don't knock it till you try it. But I hung out with some people who were going to the party before, and so I was just reading them some of the riddles. And it was very validating how immediately they flipped into a rage.
JPC
Oh, okay.
Aaron Sheenan
And they were like, it's not. That's a joke. That's not a riddle. And I'm like, yeah, guys, this is what. Why do you think I'm so mad all the time?
JPC
That's my secret cap.
Adel Refai
I've done that before where people are like, well, give me a. Cause they hear what I do and they're like, give me a riddle. I'm like, I guess my favorite's like, it's the cabin in the woods thing.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah.
Adel Refai
Where it's like there's a. You know, and people are like, well, you didn't say there's a movie. You made it sound like an airplane.
JPC
But he didn't direct or sorry.
Adel Refai
It's a cabin of an airplane. And people are like, you made it sound like a cabin in the woods. And I'm like, oh, that's the thing.
Aaron Sheenan
That's what a riddle is.
Adel Refai
But they're like, you made us believe it was like a house and it's an airplane. And I'm like, well, that's.
Aaron Sheenan
I would start to choke that person.
Adel Refai
There's the rub.
JPC
The thing that you don't like is the thing that a riddle is. And I agree. I don't like it either, but that's what it. It's what it is.
Aaron Sheenan
You haven't seen what I see. You don't know pain. Like, I know pain.
JPC
It's like eating at a Boston market. You sit, you go, huh? So it's like a. It's like a Thanksgiving dinner as like a normal restaurant meal.
Adel Refai
And you're like, that's what Thanksgiving baked beans and Aaron is this like, was that like Liza Minnelli is like a Sith Lord? You don't know pain like I know pain. Uh huh.
Aaron Sheenan
Okay, hold on.
Adel Refai
I guess that's Seth O. Merman.
JPC
Which Mandalorian and Grogu. Huh? How do we feel, guys? Are we watching it? Is it out yet? It's probably out. By the time this comes out, it's probably out. Here's something I can.
Adel Refai
The one thing that I would see the movie for. I'll probably see it eventually, when it comes to streaming, the one thing I would see it in theaters for is the trailer made it seem like there is a whole community of Bubu Fricks. I thought Bubu Frick was one of a kind.
JPC
Is that what it's called? Like a murder of crows? A community of Bubba Frick.
Aaron Sheenan
Hold on.
JPC
I love that.
Adel Refai
It's a Chianti of Fricks. Cause Babu Frick's Italian, right? That's an Italian alien.
JPC
Yeah.
Aaron Sheenan
Well, okay, guys, I don't know.
JPC
No, let's do it. Let's do what the nationalities of all of the aliens from Star wars are. Let's start. Watto. Who wants to go? Who wants to do Watto?
Aaron Sheenan
Do you think Cassian and Andor is going to be in this new Star Wars TV show? If not, I'm not interested.
JPC
Is there a new Star Wars TV show? This is. I've only heard about Mandalorian and Grogrumps. That's the news I'm on. Is still like the current news. What's the future news with Star Wars?
Aaron Sheenan
Saying that the thing that you're talking
JPC
about, it's a movie.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, that movie. Do you think that Cassian Andor is in it?
Adel Refai
Yeah, but it'll be like he goes into a bar and somebody bumps him and he's like, oh, excuse me. And it'll be him. Like, it'll be that kind of like little Easter egg where people go eee versus a scene or anything.
Aaron Sheenan
Right.
JPC
But it's his character from Itu Mama 10 Bien.
Aaron Sheenan
It's even. It's his character from Dirty Dancing Havana Nights. I jpc. Can I say something? And you have to promise to not get mad.
JPC
Aaron, you have my solemn vow.
Aaron Sheenan
I'm looking at pictures of Babu Frick.
JPC
Okay? Hey, so far, not even close to mad. I ain't mad at that. I ain't mad at you looking at pictures of Babu Frick.
Aaron Sheenan
And I'm thinking that if Rule fool, if I were to cast you to voice a Star wars type alien, I think I would have it be one that looks like this.
JPC
But. Okay, that's eren. That's one of the more kind things that you've ever said to me, and I don't deserve that. The Babu Frik's voice, though, I just don't think is in my. You think that I don't know what
Aaron Sheenan
Babu Frik sounds like. So I'm coming in completely blind.
JPC
Aaron, is this possible? Did you never see Star Wars 9? Was it episode 9 where they introduced Babu Freak?
Adel Refai
Aaron, darling, One of the great joys in life. Chocolate. Chocolate cider. What other parts?
Aaron Sheenan
I think I saw that movie and I have no memory of what that voice is.
JPC
Should I look it up already? Chocolate's good.
Adel Refai
Chocolate cider too. Cider as well. Aaron, there's a little. I want to say a little mechanic who lives in. I want to say the walls and who sounds like.
JPC
I want to say Babu freak.
Adel Refai
I want to say Babu freak. It's the Babu freaking weekend. Aaron, you gotta listen to a little.
Aaron Sheenan
I'm looking it up.
JPC
Here we go. I can't believe, Eren, that you have no. Cause I don't remember anything from episode nine. Right. Was it episode nine that he was in?
Adel Refai
I believe so.
JPC
But the thing that I do remember is Babu Phrik. Like, that's the one thing I remember.
Aaron Sheenan
I remember seeing this character, but I don't remember the voice. I'm listening to it now.
JPC
Okay, okay. Aaron live listening to Babu Freak.
Adel Refai
He was in the one with the Casino planet, Right.
Aaron Sheenan
And the me and the Babu. And then the Babufik. Sounds like this with the booty boo. It does sound pretty Italian.
JPC
Let's see. Let me go on to Babu Frick's IMDb and see. Oh my God. Babu Frick does not have an IMDb. That means the only movie he was ever in was the Star wars movie. That's sad for him.
Adel Refai
Well, I mean, there's not a lot else you can't see him in like beef or something. Beef?
JPC
Why not?
Adel Refai
Frick Oscar Isaac. Why not opposite? Well, I guess Oscar Isaac was in Star Wars.
JPC
Babu Frick is on season five of the Bear. They're gonna do another like Thanksgiving episode or whatever.
Aaron Sheenan
Behind.
Adel Refai
Who voices Babu Freak? It's gotta be someone big.
JPC
It's played by Shirley Henderson in Star Rise of Skywalker, which I believe is the Last 1. Episode 9.
Adel Refai
Is that the lady who does the Minions?
JPC
Shirley Henderson is a Scottish actress.
Aaron Sheenan
She's Moaning Myrtle. She's in Bridget Sprinkler. That's a Bridget Jones diary. Yep.
Adel Refai
The lady who sounds 12.
Aaron Sheenan
Yep. That's awesome.
Adel Refai
That's her real voice, right? It's like a Yeardley Smith situation.
JPC
Yeah, I guess so.
Adel Refai
Situation makes it sound adol.
Aaron Sheenan
What Star wars alien would you want to voice?
Adel Refai
I think one of the jawas.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, that would be good.
Adel Refai
Yeah, because they're like. They always have very explosive one word responses where they're like wootini.
JPC
Oh, God, I would love a wootini right now.
Aaron Sheenan
I know it's been you two both being jawas. You Guys being jawas who are fighting and shoving each other would be very funny.
Adel Refai
Ooh, Timmy.
Aaron Sheenan
And I'm your little porg friend.
Adel Refai
Yeah. Eren, what alien would you be voicing?
Aaron Sheenan
I mean, I know that porgs don't talk, but the level of anxiety in their eyes is like. It speaks to me.
JPC
They might not talk, Eren, but one can imagine that they groan and grunt when they make love.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I hate you so much.
Adel Refai
Casey, can you hit play on that? Oh,
JPC
yeah, we don't listen to that audio.
Adel Refai
Claire de Lune while some Borgs. Some Borgs get down.
Aaron Sheenan
Adult or not adult. Jpc I think I'm jinxing this. I feel like I haven't been giving you much fodder for the end of year soundboard this year, and I'm really proud of that. I've been pretty careful. Oh, not that much.
JPC
You feel that's something that you think
Aaron Sheenan
that's something I believe.
Adel Refai
Aaron, do you mind voicing a Gungan just so we can hear what that would sound like? What?
Aaron Sheenan
Which one's a Gungan?
JPC
Oh, Aaron.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, yes.
JPC
Hold on, hold on.
Aaron Sheenan
I forgot that he was a Gungan.
JPC
Yeah, fucking right. Which one's a Gungan? Yeah, goddamn right.
Aaron Sheenan
How about a pasta?
Adel Refai
Ooh, pretty. Italian.
Aaron Sheenan
I can't believe they did that. Do you think that they. We've talked. We talked this to death. We don't need to talk about the voice.
JPC
What George Lucas did to those movies. Yeah, Okay. I know there's a lot of Star wars discourse, especially with Mandalorian popping off, but it is so funny to think that all Those prequel movies, 1, 2, and 3 came out and people were so disillusioned with, like, George Lucas's choices. And George Lucas was so disillusioned that he sold everything off to Disney. Disney made three worst movies. It was like. It's. It's such a crazy chain of events that were like, oh, yeah, these.
Adel Refai
It's like, give us the keys to the Cadillac, Grandpa. You can't drive anymore. And then they immediately ram me to the back of the semi Bang, bang, bang ban.
Aaron Sheenan
They pull out of the driveway and hit a tree.
JPC
It's so, so fucking funny to me.
Adel Refai
And then they're walking out dazed, and they're like, grandpa, please, please get back into the driver's car.
Aaron Sheenan
Grandpa, come back. The absolute arrogance that they. They revved the engine, they put on sunglasses. They put the top down on. See you. Fuck.
Adel Refai
I've been watching you drive this car since I was a kid. I think I Know how it handles.
JPC
Slam. I got it. You taking your grandpa's Cadillac and then three people tried to drive it in different directions at the same time.
Aaron Sheenan
J.J. abrams is like, I've been thinking about this for 20 years. I think I'm gonna nail it. Slam. Oh, my God, it hurts.
Adel Refai
Meanwhile, andor hums by in a electric version of a Cadillac.
JPC
Yeah.
Adel Refai
Being like, hey, suckers, they're driving one
JPC
of those Chinese electrics. And you're like, oh, man. I guess the future right go by.
Adel Refai
Losers.
JPC
$20,000, huh? Okay, cool. Well, fuck me. Let's do some riddles.
Aaron Sheenan
You know what? Gbc. I never thought of that. And that is so funny. Oh, man, that really tickled me. I'm ready for riddles. See, now I'm at. I'm going to answer my own survey. I am at a 9.
Adel Refai
Okay.
JPC
Only took 25 minutes to get you there, but hey, who.
Aaron Sheenan
It always takes me 25 minutes to get me there.
JPC
If we can go ahead and insert the porg fil.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, no.
Adel Refai
If we could just start every episode with a little bit of time travel and a little babu frick. And a little chocolate or cider with your hope.
JPC
And some babu frick.
Adel Refai
I want to talk about me. Want to talk about mine? Talk about babu frick. Oh, yo, my. Can you imagine Toby, Keith and Babu Frick just fishing?
Aaron Sheenan
Tobu, Keith and Keith Boufrick.
JPC
Can you imagine Tobu, Keith and Keith? Oh, God. Okay.
Adel Refai
A countryfied, deep fried baboo frick. Now I'm hungry.
JPC
People almost don't deserve how good this show is.
Aaron Sheenan
Now I'm hungry. This is a riddles and puzzles podcast.
JPC
Riddles and puzzles podcast.
Adel Refai
Babu Frick podcast. Here we go. What three letter word can you put every other letter into? What three letter word can you put every other letter into?
Aaron Sheenan
Envelope.
JPC
Oh, ass.
Adel Refai
Okay.
JPC
You can put anything up your ass if you practice.
Aaron Sheenan
If you live close enough to a hospital.
Adel Refai
How do you get to ask? Carnegie hall practice.
Aaron Sheenan
10,000 hours.
Adel Refai
10,000 hours. Malcolm Glydwell. What three letter word can you put every other letter into? Now, Aaron, you are on the right track with envelope in that. It's. Maybe we weren't talking about letters. We're not talking about the Alphabet. Maybe we're talking about physical mail.
Aaron Sheenan
Okay. Yeah.
Adel Refai
What three letter word can you put every other letter into?
JPC
I can't believe it's not ass.
Aaron Sheenan
I can't believe it's not butter.
Adel Refai
I want to see a commercial for JPC's version.
JPC
They had to cut most. Okay, so it's a Three letter word that you could put every other letter into. Oh, fuck me. ABC. Oh, right, the ABCs.
Adel Refai
No, I do like that, though.
JPC
That's pretty good though, right?
Adel Refai
That is pretty good. TFC can have a seat. You've.
Aaron Sheenan
What the.
JPC
Can I. Can I share a brief anecdote from my life? My kid recognizes letters and they recognize words as the ABCs, but they don't know which letters are which yet. They're two and a half. But the other day we were doing a puzzle. It was a stitch puzzle. And there was writing on the stitch puzzle. And my kids saw the writing on the puzzle and they were like, my name. And I was like, oh, no, no. Stitch does not know your name. Stitch.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, that's so cute.
JPC
This is not a custom puzzle. Your name is.
Aaron Sheenan
You could have let that one go. You could have let that one go.
Adel Refai
No, wait a minute. Is Babu Frick just Stitch
Aaron Sheenan
on the same planet?
JPC
Stitch walked so Babu Frik could run. And neither one of them can really do that so good. So Stitch could probably run.
Adel Refai
Stitch has six legs.
JPC
I think the thing about Stitch is he was never. He. They doesn't matter. They were never a puppet. But Babu Freak is a puppet, like, exclusively. And running as a puppet is, like, a much harder thing to do. Right? Like that's.
Adel Refai
Oh, yeah, Kermit. A bicycle.
JPC
Yeah. That's why, like, Jim Henson is a magician, because, like, Jim Henson could make the puppets run. I don't know anything, Aaron, is that correct? Is Jim Henson the man who can
Adel Refai
make the puppets run?
Aaron Sheenan
I'm checking my notes. And Jim Henson is the man that can make the puppets run.
Adel Refai
That makes it sound like he was keeping them in a warehouse and they had the pissing bottles and stuff.
JPC
Jim Hinson loading a crossbow. Fair shake here, tapping his watch.
Adel Refai
Guys, the comedy has to be done by midnight.
Aaron Sheenan
It's time to pay the piper.
Adel Refai
Back to work. Back to work, everyone. No breaks.
JPC
What three letter words can you, Piper,
Adel Refai
put into every other.
Aaron Sheenan
And this is about physical mail.
Adel Refai
Yes. This is along the lines of envelope or where physical mail would go. What three letter word can you put every other letter into? So even with the word mail, think of a three letter word that would pair. Be a nice pairing with mail.
JPC
Uh, okay. Fuck me. Letter. No, that's too many.
Adel Refai
It's not Ass.
JPC
Box. Box. Box.
Adel Refai
B, O M. Like a mailbox.
JPC
Mailbox. So wait, I said ass. And I was so close. Honestly, I was just a couple inches off nature's box.
Adel Refai
The ass.
Aaron Sheenan
I'd like to see a scene Adol you are a mailman, and you are about to deliver mail to JPC's house, and you're trying to do it quickly because he. He has something to complain to you about every day about his mail.
Adel Refai
Okay, Here you go, Todd. Just throw it on the porch. Let me just.
JPC
Excuse me, excuse me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't throw it on the porch. I checked with my city councilor. That is a regulation mailbox, okay? And there is no rules that says that you can't design your own real synthetic ass. You still have to open the door. It's all regulation. And you have to put the mail into the synthetic ass.
Adel Refai
Thank you for your comment. I am mail tron5000.
JPC
No way you got that? That technology is months away. Months away.
Adel Refai
6,000.
JPC
You should have said 6,000. Hey, I'm sorry. Do you have a problem with putting my mail that I, by the way, get legally? Okay, I'm not mailing letters to myself. Those are. You can check all the names on. Those are real names and real return addresses. With putting my mail in my fake rubber ass mailbox. It's anatomically correct.
Adel Refai
It's. It's. Listen, it's disgusting, okay? And also, all your mail. Let me go through your mail here.
JPC
I think your shorts and hats are disgusting.
Adel Refai
Excuse me? These are.
JPC
I think your shorts and hats are disgusting.
Adel Refai
Wow. Wow, that is unbelievable. These are our pride. These are our livelihood. These are customized with our safety in mind. Look, let me see. If I try and climb this fence, do my shorts get caught on this chain link? No, actually, hold on. Actually, hold on.
JPC
Help. Oh, okay. You want my help now? Well, he's. Psst.
Aaron Sheenan
Honey, do you think you're convincing him that this ass is a fake ass and not my ass? Is he buying it? Is he buying it?
JPC
Well, now he's not, Rebecca. Well, now he's not.
Aaron Sheenan
Do you think he.
JPC
Can you just have a blanket on the front of you? Of course he can hear through the blanket. Okay? It's not a sound blanket.
Adel Refai
A bee's going in your mailbox.
Aaron Sheenan
Let it.
JPC
Okay, One ticket to Panama, please. I'm out of here. See what's going in your mailbox.
Adel Refai
Wait. Your mailbox was your wife's ass, right?
Aaron Sheenan
Whoa.
Adel Refai
Am I crazy?
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, my God. You can't just say a mailbox is a wife's ass. Yeah, you know, you're not crazy. At what?
JPC
Yeah. Yeah, you're not crazy. The mailbox was my wife's ass.
Aaron Sheenan
Big time. Big time, big time.
JPC
The mailbox was my wife's Ass.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, that's.
Adel Refai
This is more of a pun than a riddle. What is the best day to move forward?
JPC
Best day to move forward. Okay, let's think about it. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. None of these are puns. Thursday, Friday, moving forward. No. Saturday, Sunday. No.
Aaron Sheenan
Are there any more days of the week besides that? Are we forgetting any?
JPC
Now that is the Roman days of the week. But we could do the. And just one other culture, jpc, in just one.
Aaron Sheenan
Any country.
JPC
The best day. Today. Today. Isn't that.
Adel Refai
I mean, that's almost like good therapy, right?
JPC
Yeah.
Adel Refai
Here's. What is it they say the best day to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best day is today. And I'm like, isn't the second best day 29 years, 363 days ago?
JPC
Wouldn't today be, like, the next to worst day? Right. Cause, like, tomorrow is obviously the worst. So today has to be, like, it can't be the best if 30 years ago is the best.
Adel Refai
I was always very confused by that adage.
JPC
Yeah. Whenever someone cracks that adage out, I get fucking furious. And people love that because basically what they're just saying is, like, plant a tree. It's good for the environment.
Adel Refai
Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. My wife's a vegetarian, and you can't
JPC
teach a wife anything. So I've been told.
Adel Refai
What is the best day to move forward? And take a page out of the Star wars book, the aforementioned Star wars
JPC
tome, may the 4th be with you. Okay.
Adel Refai
But it's not may the 4th that's taken.
JPC
Okay.
Adel Refai
So you want to move forward.
Aaron Sheenan
Spring.
Adel Refai
May 4th is taken.
JPC
May 4th. Okay. Okay.
Adel Refai
But there's other.
JPC
January 4th.
Adel Refai
It can't be done on the board.
Aaron Sheenan
March.
Adel Refai
March 4th. March 4th.
JPC
That one's pretty good.
Adel Refai
I do want to see one quick scene before we go to break.
JPC
Okay.
Adel Refai
Aaron, you are, I want to say, conductor who leads a band in, like, a marching band. Conductor.
JPC
Conductor, sure.
Adel Refai
But they have a baton instead of a little baton.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, you could have.
JPC
Aaron, you could have a little baton as a treat.
Aaron Sheenan
Thank you.
Adel Refai
Aaron, you're about to lead a parade for a city's bicentennial celebration.
Aaron Sheenan
Great.
Adel Refai
But as you sort of get excited and get ready to time the march, you turn around and realize it's just JPC in the print.
Aaron Sheenan
Whistle sound. Whistle sound. Whistle whistle. 1, 2, 3. And I'm hearing a sad tuba. What is that? Sad tuba. I'm turning around. I'm turning around and I'm sorry.
JPC
Would I miss. Did I miss my Did I miss my. I should have. Should I have. I'm so sorry. Should I have started or did I miss.
Aaron Sheenan
Where the hell is everybody?
JPC
I'm sorry.
Aaron Sheenan
Where is everybody?
JPC
It's just me.
Aaron Sheenan
What? Where? There's 80 people in this band. One tuba.
JPC
No. They reformed. Well, so I guess what happened was, like, the city. I don't understand how it works. Like, the city broke up. Up the band, and then they had to reform. But then they had, like, they could only. 79 people.
Aaron Sheenan
Where are they? Did they quit?
JPC
No, I swear to God. This is what they told me. They could only have 79 people in the new band, but then they had to start, like, a satellite band, and so they got a new band director. So it's just me now in this band.
Aaron Sheenan
And, like, you're a nice guy, and you're lying to me. I can tell you're trying not to hurt my feelings. They didn't want. They didn't think I was good enough to start the parade, and they quit.
JPC
They. They reformed another band, and I was the only one that said I wouldn't leave this band without you. And they said, that's fine. We don't like you enough, Mike, to put up with Rachel for another day. So they started another band. But I'm still here, and I. And I still think we could do, like, you know, great things together. I think we could. Yeah.
Aaron Sheenan
This is my dream. To open the parade. Absolutely. No problem. Here we go. I'm just gonna start over.
Adel Refai
Hey, sorry. We're. We're all just gonna start walking. You, you. You guys stay still.
Aaron Sheenan
We're ready. We're ready.
Adel Refai
We're just gonna inverse it. We're gonna invert it. You stay still, and we're gonna walk by.
Aaron Sheenan
You see, that doesn't make much sense. The whole. That actually is not how a parade works. That's a reverse parade, and we don't have the permits as a city to do that. Here we go. Whistle sound. Let's let him do whistle sound.
JPC
Let's just let him do the reverse parade thing.
Aaron Sheenan
Whistle sound.
Adel Refai
Please, please.
Aaron Sheenan
March with your big tuba. Come on, Mike. Do not abandon me. This is my dream. And, yes, I went on that crazy rant last night at rehearsal that everyone was a fucking loser and wasn't giving their best and that people are also letting themselves go physically. Everyone looks kind of ugly. I said, carrie, would it kill you to get Botox? Would it kill you to get Botox? And she went, actually, my mom got a botched Botox. That's how my mom died. And I go, well, yeah, if the shoe fits. So I get why people are annoyed, but come on, let's go.
JPC
And people. People didn't truly even really understand what it and the shoe fits means in that context.
Aaron Sheenan
That was an awesome comeback. It made a lot of sense in the context I march.
JPC
Oh, okay, look, I'll. I'll march. But just, well, just so you know, just so you know, this isn't a tuba. It's a cardboard tuba. They took the instruments as well. Tubas are like, super expensive.
Aaron Sheenan
That noise when we first were marching, I. I'm sorry.
JPC
I stepped on a bird.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, that bird is not even dead yet. Kill that bird.
JPC
It's an eo. It's an eo. So it's. It's fine.
Adel Refai
Any bird of nature sounds like it too, but it's an emu. Folks, we're going to march to break. And we'll be right back with candy next with.
JPC
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, it's JPC and I want to tell you that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. That is a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Which is why there is BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy that is easy for you. I love online therapy. This is my preferred way to go through therapy, especially post pandemic where I don't want to drive to someone's office. I get a lot out of being able to talk to my therapist on my terms at the times that I enjoy and BetterHelp offers that to you. They have quality therapists. They work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US plus they have this therapist match commitment. So better help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals? You take a short questionnaire. It helps identify your needs and preferences and then their 12 years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. Plus, if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored RECS. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. So remember this May during Mental Health Awareness Month, you don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com that's betterhelp H-E-L-P.com Riddle 999 A
Aaron Sheenan
thousand ready or not, here I come. Oh hey everybody. I'm just playing a quick game of hide and seek with Adel and JPC so you keep an eye out for them while I talk to you about Quints. This past weekend I was out and about with my new Italian suede slouchy midnight blue bag. And I kid you not, several of the most beautiful, cool looking women asked me where I got it and I got to go. Quince. It's super affordable. I want my everyday items to be classic and timeless and comfortable and easy and affordable. And that's why I shop at Quint's. Quince has all the wardrobe staples for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34. Lightweight, breathable and comfortable. But you're still going to look put together and clean. 100% prima cotton tees with a softness that has to be felt. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'll find at similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen so you're getting premium materials without the markup. I love everything I have from Quince. I recently got sandals from them. I'm obsessed with their home stuff. If you're looking for basics like rugs or curtains. Truly just the most timeless, classic, well made items are over there at Quint's. So check it out. Still not seeing Adler gpc. Starting to worry that they went to the movies or something. No, they're around. We'll find them. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quints.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince. Q-U-I-N C E.com riddle ridddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year. If it's a full year, you can decide if you like it. You're gonna like it. Quints.com Riddle I found you. Oh no, sorry. False alarm. Those are just two scarecrows eating dessert waffles. Onward and upward. Hello everybody, it's me, Erin Keefe, here to talk about my dog, Lou. I bet you've heard me talk about Lou hundreds if not thousands of times on the show because I am obsessed with her. Fun fact about Lou. This past weekend in Palm Springs, she ran face first into a cactus and I did not handle it well. And if anyone gets being dog obsessed, it's Ollie. I love Ollie's dog food. They're relentless about delivering the best food and experience to your dog. And they give you a way to check in on their health over and over and over again. Ollie's fresh recipes are developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. They're obsessed with making the best meals in the highest quality ingredients. From the moment you start your subscription, everything is tailored to your dog. The meals are perfectly portioned, and you get a puptainer cute and a scoop for easy storing and serving. With Ollie, you don't just get food through their app. You can actually check on your dog's health with real vets just by uploading a picture. Their teen can check in on your dog's weight, digestion, teeth and coat because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is as healthy as can be. Lou's getting old and I just want her to be healthy and have the best life she can. Since switching to Ollie, Lou gets even more excited to eat. She clearly loves the food. And also, I just noticed she's got a little bit more energy. She's acting like a puppy again. And she's running into cactuses. Cacti. And she's running into cacti full speed in the middle of the desert. Well, get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com riddle, tell them all about your dog and use code riddle to get 70% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee if you're not completely obsessed with, you'll get your money back. That's Ollie O L L I e.com riddle and enter code riddle R I D the ollie to get 70% off your first box. Isn't that right, Lou? I thought she would bark on cue. That would have been so awesome if she had barked. She didn't though. You didn't though, Lou.
JPC
Hey, everybody. JPC here and I want to talk to you about Rocket Money, but I couldn't do it without my two friends, Adel. What's up, adolescent? And Aaron. What's going on, Aaron?
Aaron Sheenan
Ew.
JPC
Classic. Classic, you guys. Anyway, Rocket Money, let's talk about it. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that is going to help you get your life together. Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with just a few taps, saving users over 880 million in canceled subscriptions. Aaron, how does that sound? You guys don't Speak Aaron's language, but to me, I know that means very good. Plus, they have automatic transaction categorization across accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns. If you are saving for something big, like a wedding, which I have saved for before, it can help set budgets and goals. Plus, you get personalized insights and regular reports and receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Plus, users who create a financial goal with Rocket money save over $70 on average within the first 30 days. Wow. Adel. $70. That sounds like a lot of money, huh? Wow. Well, you can also use their automated savings features that grow towards goals with adjustable amounts and frequencies. It's a set it and forget it approach, but don't take my word for it. You gotta try it out yourself. Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle Yes.
Adel Refai
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And we're back. And let's get right into another riddle here. I can charge, but I don't need a power cord. I have horns, but they don't honk. You can drive me, but I don't have wheels. Cattle.
JPC
Yeah, like a bull, right?
Adel Refai
Yeah, it says here a bull. Cattle.
Aaron Sheenan
I'd like to see a scene. Gpc, you're an Australian shepherd and you are trying to herd me and adolescent and we're not totally a huge fan of what you're trying to do.
JPC
Lies applied. Lies are blind. Lies applied.
Aaron Sheenan
So I was like saying that like, yeah, it is so frustrating to communicate as well as communicating and then to have someone like, no, you're the right energy. Thank you so much for saying that.
Adel Refai
Honestly, she is lucky to have you in her life and if she doesn't, she doesn't realize that then I think you need to set boundaries and just kind of walk away.
Aaron Sheenan
I really appreciate you saying that because I feel like your relationship's so healthy and we all like, like, I obviously don't want to put your relationship on a pedestal, but you've been married like 10 years.
Adel Refai
Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.
Aaron Sheenan
And so it just means a lot hearing that company so crazy.
JPC
That's not crazy. That's not a crazy.
Adel Refai
What the.
JPC
Sorry, I was. Sorry, I was waiting for one of you to say knife or something like it. So I Could say it.
Adel Refai
Knife.
JPC
This is a crazy. Sorry. I work for the festival and I. But you're not allowed to be where you are, so.
Adel Refai
Okay.
JPC
Yeah, you have to.
Aaron Sheenan
We made a reservation to eat this grass, and we're actually not even done eating the grass, so.
Adel Refai
Yeah, we have this field until 5:45.
JPC
Oh, my mistake. Keep. You know, keep on doing what. What you do. I'm sorry, my boss is. He's really pointing at the two of you and says, God? Yes, the shepherd. Todd. I work for him. Todd.
Adel Refai
Yeah. Where are you from?
Aaron Sheenan
So, anyways, it's non.
JPC
Clear.
Aaron Sheenan
Like, obviously you give a lot of advice to other people and I don't.
JPC
That's not advice. No, that's not advice.
Aaron Sheenan
Sorry, I'm really trying to talk to this advice.
Adel Refai
It's not advice. You know what?
JPC
That one actually worked a little bit. Right?
Adel Refai
You. Hey, you take this acre. We're gonna. We'll move over to the next plot. Okay. We'll go this way.
JPC
That one's long, fellow. So I can't let you. Unfortunately. No, Stop.
Aaron Sheenan
Stop blocking us.
JPC
Stop.
Adel Refai
Can you.
Aaron Sheenan
Hello?
JPC
I'm gonna raise him. No, please. Hey. Don't. Please don't run me.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, he's biting my ankle. Ow. Don't. Don't bite in my ankles.
JPC
Hey. Hey, Stone. Know what else?
Adel Refai
Leave her alone.
JPC
I'd love to leave her alone, but I won't do that.
Adel Refai
Okay, I'm taking out my sheep phone. Do it and I'm recording you.
Aaron Sheenan
Do it.
Adel Refai
All right, bitch.
Aaron Sheenan
You're being recorded, bitch. What now, bitch?
Adel Refai
You're being recorded, bitch. What now?
Aaron Sheenan
What now, bitch? Wow. Say what you were saying right before we started recording you.
Adel Refai
This is going every corner of sheep Internet.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah. Just Sheepbook is gonna love this.
JPC
That's okay.
Aaron Sheenan
You're gonna be on the news. I hope you like it.
Adel Refai
You're gonna be on Sheepbook. You're gonna be on Tweep. You're gonna be on.
JPC
That's okay. Yeah.
Adel Refai
Hologram.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah. Instagram.
JPC
I heard you.
Adel Refai
One
Aaron Sheenan
tick tock. But it's ticks. Because sometimes sheep get
JPC
sheer.
Adel Refai
Wait, sheer?
JPC
But you're. You're sheep, so why would it matter? It doesn't matter.
Aaron Sheenan
Sheepden.
JPC
Sheep in.
Adel Refai
That's where we all connect. Glass sheep. That's where we see how much everybody eats sheep.
JPC
But it's Yelp. What are we doing? Seed, I guess. Wait, what would that be called? That'd be called, like, bleat. No, bleating is more like goats.
Adel Refai
We all bleat. Every man bleats. Every man Bleets.
Aaron Sheenan
Has anyone ever made a video of a sheep singing bleeding love? And I just keep going, I keep bleeding. I keep, keep bleeding in love. Aaron, has anyone ever made that video?
JPC
Looking through my phone. Don't believe that video's been made.
Adel Refai
What's funny is, as you started to sing that, I was like, oh, no. Aaron's singing I Keep Falling in and out of Love,
JPC
which I think starts
Adel Refai
with the exact same help.
Aaron Sheenan
Jpc. You weren't actually looking at your phone. You sent me therapist recommendations. Okay, heard, heard, heard, heard.
JPC
Ah, Those are just recommendations, Aaron. You could go to any therapist you like, within reason.
Aaron Sheenan
Okay, all of these are you in different wigs and mustaches. Never mind. Everyone back to riddles. I'm ready.
JPC
It's expensive.
Adel Refai
That's professional wigs.
JPC
Expensive to buy all those professional wigs.
Aaron Sheenan
I'd actually like to see a scene.
Adel Refai
Uh oh.
Aaron Sheenan
Jpc, I'm me and you are my therapist, and I want you to just try to fix me. Let's see if this works. Let's see if you can do this.
JPC
Oh, I'm sorry. Therapy is not like a massage. You do not need a disrobe and get under a blanket, fuck you scene.
Adel Refai
Well, hold on. Let's see.
JPC
Well, I mean, Aaron, in my defense, why did you do that?
Aaron Sheenan
I didn't do that. You just used the power of improv to say that I did that. You can't be using improv powers for bad, Aaron. It's not nice.
Adel Refai
Hot stone therapy. Swedish therapy is so good.
JPC
So in right now, they walk on your back.
Adel Refai
I'm a type of plant, but I don't need water. I can hurt people, but I'm not poisonous. I'm almost always found on the ground when you least expect it.
Aaron Sheenan
What am I, a spy?
JPC
Acorn,
Adel Refai
Spine. Acorn. No.
JPC
I'm almost always found on the ground.
Adel Refai
Although I do like the idea of that spy being a type of plant. I think that's along the right lines of thinking.
JPC
Okay, so you liked my screenplay, so just say that. I don't understand.
Aaron Sheenan
He read it. He read it.
JPC
Why it has to be.
Adel Refai
I do want to see a scene. Jpc, you are a spy. You're an undercover agent, Aaron. You and I are house plants and GPC's trying to infiltrate us. So I was talking to Dave and he was saying that you.
Aaron Sheenan
What?
Adel Refai
That you told him just to. To break up with Margaret. Which I think is. I feel like you have really healthy relationships and I feel like you give really good advice.
Aaron Sheenan
That is like, I like, wasn't Saying to break up, but I was, like, saying.
JPC
Pardon. Does anyone know what the good light is?
Adel Refai
Whoa.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, you look sick.
JPC
No, just another plant here. No, I'm not a. No, just another plant trying to find the good light.
Aaron Sheenan
Hey, man, I really can't get sick. I was sick last week. I got kind of brought back to life after a vacation. I don't know if I can stand.
Adel Refai
Yeah, you've got bags under your buds. Listen, you're. Something's wrong. Your stems.
JPC
You know, I think maybe I'm just a different type of plant.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, you look bad.
Adel Refai
You look bad. Your soil is rotten.
Aaron Sheenan
Any plant standards, you're, like, wilty, but also kind of stiff.
JPC
The soil can be changed, Right? And soil's not an inherent part of the plant.
Adel Refai
Will taste stiff.
JPC
Just give me some of your soil, water or.
Aaron Sheenan
No, Whatever you have cannot be fixed.
Adel Refai
Yeah, no, thanks. Hard pass. Anyway, so. Yes, and, well, what we consider dogs. Wait, what's the.
Aaron Sheenan
Of the. Hey, man, you're standing in my sunlight. Can you give us some space, please?
JPC
Well, it's just. It's. It's the sun, it's the sunlight. It's not really yours.
Adel Refai
It goes everywhere, so you don't need to be right here, buddy. Okay, move along.
JPC
Well, by the window. It doesn't go through walls.
Adel Refai
Okay, I'm taking out my plant foam, recording this all.
JPC
No, please.
Aaron Sheenan
Wow. Get em.
JPC
Get em.
Aaron Sheenan
This is going on plant Facebook and everyone's gonna see. And now I'm gonna think of more puns for other.
Adel Refai
It's going on Plitter. It's going on.
JPC
Do as videos you can.
Adel Refai
Instagrow.
Aaron Sheenan
Instagrow. It's going on Instagram.
JPC
Three more. I'm leaving length trim. I'll leave on that one, Steve. I can't think of any plants and social media.
Adel Refai
Actually, that might be the answer. I'm a type of plant, but I don't need water. I can hurt people, but I'm not poisonous. I'm almost always found on the ground when you least expect it. So think about plants and social media, but drop the the.
JPC
Okay. It's a type of plant that is part of the media.
Adel Refai
Well, part of the. Just trying to get you to the word. Okay, so more of a breadcrumb trail than, like a literal thing.
JPC
A book. Face.
Adel Refai
Book.
JPC
No face. A face.
Adel Refai
Yeah. And then add the one word that you mentioned earlier.
JPC
A book. No, no. Face plant.
Adel Refai
Yes, it's a face plant.
JPC
A face plant.
Adel Refai
It's a type of plant that doesn't need water. It can hurt People, but not poisonous and almost always found can hurt people.
Aaron Sheenan
Since when has anyone faceplanted and it didn't hurt? That sounds like something a kid would say after they faceplanted in front of their whole soccer team.
Adel Refai
I do wanna see a scene.
JPC
I'm okay.
Aaron Sheenan
Okay.
Adel Refai
Aaron, you're at a new high school. This is the first day of for you at the school of class. And JPC and I are talking in the hall and you come in and have a little bit of a slipsie.
JPC
Yeah. So I don't know. I mean, like, it's just like they're always on my case.
Adel Refai
Yeah.
JPC
I don't think my homework is any worse than anyone else's homework.
Adel Refai
No, no, no, no. I feel like. You study. You study.
Aaron Sheenan
Hiya, fellas. I just moved here from Florida. My dad got a job. He also. I'm burying the lead. My parents got a divorce. They. He encouraged me to come up to the two coolest guys I could find on the hallway and.
JPC
Whoa.
Adel Refai
Holy shit.
JPC
Shit.
Adel Refai
Oh, she's dead.
JPC
That chick started talking to us from down the hallway and was walking over and took a locker directly to the face. I mean, that was. That locker was open the whole time.
Adel Refai
She was walking locker to the face. She did a backwards, I want to say a 980 and landed on her feet. But then another locker opened.
Aaron Sheenan
Dad, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.
Adel Refai
Oh, she's calling someone.
Aaron Sheenan
Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.
Adel Refai
Hey, go for Dan. Just kidding. I'm at work right now. Leave a message after the beep.
Aaron Sheenan
Dad, please quit your job. We have to move again.
JPC
Beep.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, God. Dad, please quit your job. We gotta move again. I'm gonna call your boss. If we get you fired, we're gonna move. Oh, God. I blew it. I happened again. Third school in a row. It happened again.
Adel Refai
We get to the principal's office. Madeline, I feel like you're not making friends fast in school. It seems like already I've had to take you out of three classes for bullying.
Aaron Sheenan
Why is the locker here in the meeting with me?
Adel Refai
Well, the locker says that you ran into it.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, the locker said I ran into it. Great.
Adel Refai
You've been saying that we sent the locker home because you said the locker slammed into you. Yeah, and the locker's status here, actually. And we tried to call your dad, but we got a very funny answering machine. So the locker's dad is just gonna dress you down for a minute.
Aaron Sheenan
Um, sir, I did not run into you.
Adel Refai
Combination. Combination,
JPC
please. And wash your hands before you start typing in with your little dirty kid fingers all over my digits.
Aaron Sheenan
I don't have dirty kid fingers. Your kid's dirty.
JPC
I was at the fucking plant, minding my own business, doing my job, when I got a call to come pick up my son, who was heartbroken because this is the first school he's ever been in that he fit in to the space where they put the lockers. And I had to come all the way down here because you lied?
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, I was. Being a single parent is hard. My dad goes through some of the same struggles.
JPC
Oh, yeah.
Aaron Sheenan
Maybe you guys should get a drink or something.
JPC
I'd love to. I'd love to.
Adel Refai
Okay. We also found drugs in your son, so we do have to.
Aaron Sheenan
Me or him? Only in my ass. I live close to a hospital and I practice. I got my 10,000 hours only in my ass.
Adel Refai
The flag was up.
JPC
And Aaron, you were just saying that you haven't given me any sound bites this year. Right? That's something you said. Whoa, Aaron, you can put only in my ass. Right next to you saying that you've been so good all year long. In the face.
Aaron Sheenan
I knew I was jinxing it. I knew.
JPC
We gotta move to video. We gotta move to videos that people can see. The face that Aaron makes when she
Adel Refai
realizes she said 28, 36, 24. Only if it's in my ass.
JPC
Wow, Aaron. We're talking about acid. Aaron's talking about worn out spaces.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, God.
JPC
Get a clue, get a clue.
Aaron Sheenan
Here's some sound bites for you. My ass is a worn out space. Are you happy? Merry Christmas, everyone. Christmas is coming up because it's the end of the year. Soundboard episode. Fuck this. Don't sing the chicks. Wide open spaces. You can't use this clip now. It's too long. You'll never use it because then we'll have to hear it a bunch. And then Adam will pick this clip. Adam will pick this clip that we have to listen to this 16 times at the end of the episode. And it won't be funny. So that is how I'm buffering it, as I'm making this clip too long. So you won't use it.
JPC
That's just simple, my darling. It's simply not how clips work.
Aaron Sheenan
Yes, it is, bitch.
Adel Refai
Aaron, speaking of, how did your audition go to join the chicks?
Aaron Sheenan
They said I was too interested in George Bush and I was too pro George Bush to join Aaron.
Adel Refai
You just think he's funny though, right?
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah. Adel and I have been sending each other whimsical George Bush clips back and forth. And Adel, I've been finding it quite soothing.
JPC
Is it clips of him being whimsical or you being whimsical about George Bush clips?
Aaron Sheenan
Clips of him being whimsical because he's such a joke.
JPC
Yeah.
Aaron Sheenan
And I don't know, I just. Some of these clips of him, it makes me think of Adol because I just feel like he'll think they're funny.
Adel Refai
Very funny. Also, I've been thoroughly enjoying Widow's Bay.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, my God.
JPC
Good.
Adel Refai
That's something also that you guys talked about.
Aaron Sheenan
It's so scary.
Adel Refai
It's incredible.
Aaron Sheenan
They mentioned Hingham in the most recent episode.
Adel Refai
I heard.
Aaron Sheenan
I was so excited. And then that episode, I went in alone for that one. I watched it alone and I got so scared in that episode and couldn't find my remote and was just screaming no. While I was digging through my couch. I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
Adel Refai
The reveal is bonkers.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, so scary.
Adel Refai
Let's do dee dee Dee Dee. Let's do another riddle here.
JPC
I love another riddle.
Aaron Sheenan
I'm scared. I'm scared for another riddle.
Adel Refai
I open and close, but I don't have a lid. You can see me and hear me, but you can never taste me.
Aaron Sheenan
My butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt and my butt. It's my butt. It's a butt.
Adel Refai
Okay, Casey, clip that gift.
JPC
The gift. The gift that keeps on giving.
Aaron Sheenan
You're not going to use this.
JPC
A national treasure. You're not going to for whatever nation you happen to live in.
Adel Refai
Aaron, I love your gift of the Magi, which is I sold my watch to buy you a comb and you're like, my butt, my butt, my butt,
JPC
my butt, my butt.
Adel Refai
The gift of the Magi.
JPC
So was there more to the riddle?
Adel Refai
Yes. I open and close, but I don't have a lid. You can see me and hear me, but you can never taste me. I'm something you can feel, but I can't be touched. I'm long, but cannot be measured in inches. I'm really light. What am I?
JPC
Okay, so this is like a stand up comedian set. It's gotta be like a really long set, but also light. So it's like a Jerry Seinfeld. Although he never opens. Who would Seinfeld open for?
Adel Refai
Here's the thing.
Aaron Sheenan
Larry David.
JPC
Larry David.
Adel Refai
I don't have this on full authority, but I Think Seinfeld actually opens quite a bit, which frustrates a lot of standups, because he'll pop into, like, the Comedy Cellar. They'll be like, jerry's doing a pop in. And they're like, that's amazing. So I'll get seen. And they're like, well, hold on. He's opening. Because then he can leave.
JPC
So does that cherry.
Adel Refai
Oh, oh.
JPC
Get seen by Seinfeld? I'm so stupid. I couldn't. I was like, you'll still get to go. But no, that's not what that means either. So never mind.
Adel Refai
Yeah, I open and close, but I don't have a lid. You can see me and hear me, but you can never taste me. I'm something you can feel, but I can't be touched. I'm long but cannot be measured in inches. I'm really light. And I'm really light. Has a double entendre.
Aaron Sheenan
It's like stars or like. It's like. It's something that emits light.
Adel Refai
Aaron. It involves stars and jpc. Stand upset was actually adjacent.
Aaron Sheenan
It's adjacent.
Adel Refai
Or Seinfeld, that you're in the right. You're walking in the right pasture.
JPC
Movie stars, Movie theater or. Okay, what the fuck noise was that? Aaron, have you ever heard my butt?
Aaron Sheenan
My butt. My butt. My butt. My butt. My butt, My butt, my butt. And back to you.
Adel Refai
I mean, you basically got it.
JPC
Okay. Camera or a camera or light flash from a camera?
Aaron Sheenan
No, projector.
Adel Refai
Yes. But a projector plays.
Aaron Sheenan
Movies.
Adel Refai
Yeah, film, movies. I open and close, but I don't have a lid. You can see me and hear me, but you can never taste me. I'm something you can feel, but I can't be touched.
Aaron Sheenan
Well, if it works.
Adel Refai
And yes, measured in inches. And I'm really light, I think is, you know, both. A real film is gonna be lighter on a flash drive, and the projector, it's just light.
JPC
A movie can be, like, light. Like, light fare, you know, like.
Adel Refai
Yeah. Some Like It Hot.
JPC
Some Like It Hot.
Aaron Sheenan
End of list.
Adel Refai
Apartment. Just casual comedies about infidelity.
Aaron Sheenan
Adol. That actually is a pretty good riddle.
Adel Refai
Yeah, I like that one.
JPC
I like it. It doesn't work for 40x, which is the only way that I see movies. Because with 40x, you can taste the movies we come to the theater to taste.
Adel Refai
I do want to see a suit.
JPC
Some people do hot dogs.
Adel Refai
Hot dogs.
JPC
The episode's not over. No, the episode's not over.
Aaron Sheenan
Come on.
JPC
No, no, no.
Adel Refai
I do want to see a scene very quickly also. Can I Aaron, can I just say yes?
Aaron Sheenan
Hi, Adam.
Adel Refai
One of the worst. Hello.
Aaron Sheenan
Hi. How are you?
Adel Refai
I'm good. I wish this episode was more about Babu Frick.
Aaron Sheenan
Me too.
Adel Refai
But Aaron, I was going to say something. I miss not having you at 40x is a stupid thing that I do. Among the many stupid things I do is a lot of times when I go to see 40x, I get the hot pretzel with scalding cheese. And then the minute I sit down, and then I meet Casey and JPC in the 40x theater. And the minute I sit down I go, oh, no, because the seats. The seats are a bucking bronco. And now I have to eat. I have to lean forward and try and scarf down a piping hot pretzel that's 350 degrees as fast as possible before this seat kills me and before
Aaron Sheenan
you get like third degree burns from the hot cheese. That is cartoonish. You're setting yourself up for a cartoon accident.
Adel Refai
It's pretty rough.
Aaron Sheenan
Also, you shouldn't be allowed to eat in 40x. People are choking to death. I'm sure at 40x all the time. Pretzels going down their air pipe.
JPC
Speaking of guys, I just had a cartoon accident. I inked my pants.
Adel Refai
Oh, no, no.
JPC
That is so sweet. If you guys responded that way. That's. That's a friend who genuinely.
Aaron Sheenan
You've ruined me.
Adel Refai
I do want to see a quick scene. This will be our final scene, Aaron.
JPC
Or let's of the day.
Adel Refai
Of the day, jbc. You are in a theater about to watch a film.
JPC
Okay.
Adel Refai
You think you're the only other person in the theater, so you're pretty happy about that. But then, Aaron, you are actually a few rows behind jpc. And you are Jerry Seinfeld.
JPC
Oh, this is pretty nice. God.
Adel Refai
We now present our feature presentation.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, my God.
JPC
There's no one else in here.
Aaron Sheenan
They just did. They just said you don't make noise. They did a whole little movie at the beginning of the movie about not making noise. Now what are you doing? You're making noise.
JPC
Meet me. Oh, my. I thought that was the movie for a second. Is it cartoon squirrel talking to me? Hello? Who's. Who's there?
Aaron Sheenan
I'm back here. You think you're alone in the movies and you talk and you talk and you talk.
JPC
Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't. I did not realize there was a human man in here. I thought. I thought, I'm a human man. I thought maybe a cartoon bee was in the theater. I did not I did not realize.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, is that a job? I can't even believe it. Really?
JPC
What would the joke be?
Aaron Sheenan
You're making fun of my B movie. Larry David won't return my phone calls.
JPC
Oh, Larry David. Oh, my God. Are you.
Aaron Sheenan
No, no, no.
JPC
Are you Larry David? No, I've only ever heard of the show.
Adel Refai
I can't believe we fell in love
Aaron Sheenan
trying to hear the movie.
Adel Refai
Mia Mama Tambienne and you and ET ET Mama Tambien.
Aaron Sheenan
It's ours. It's ours.
JPC
They can't make it work. I hope Babu Frick has said this,
Aaron Sheenan
but see, that is not a Jerry Seinfeld impression. That was not sitting right in my body.
Adel Refai
Well, it was Jerry Seinfeld in a K hole.
Aaron Sheenan
You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do him in a movie theater. Show me that.
Adel Refai
Hey, who's. Someone left goobers on the floor. Those are supposed to go in your mouth. These are floor goobers.
JPC
There's a little bit of bane in there, which I don't hate.
Adel Refai
Yeah, I was born in the darkness.
JPC
Got him.
Adel Refai
Hey, you heard this. Now I'm turning you into jail right now.
Aaron Sheenan
All the same to me, Aaron.
Adel Refai
My apologies. Tougher than I thought. Jpc. Jpc. You do one.
JPC
You do Seinfeld in a movie theater?
Aaron Sheenan
Yes, please.
JPC
Why are the floors always so sticky? Oh, that's right. I'm jerking off in here.
Adel Refai
Okay, a little bit of the look like the count.
JPC
Yeah.
Adel Refai
What? Yeah. One, two, three.
JPC
One, two.
Adel Refai
And that almost sounded like James Brown.
JPC
Like.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, fuck Jerry Seinfeld. Anyways, Hot dogs.
Adel Refai
Hold on, hold on.
Aaron Sheenan
Can't I. Aaron, we're. What?
Adel Refai
We're about to bite into a hot dog. But before we do that, Aaron, do you have anything to plug or promote?
JPC
What if you had something to plug or promote, Aaron, and you had just hot dogged out of here and you had forgotten to plug or promote something?
Aaron Sheenan
Great point.
Adel Refai
Someone please think of the plugs.
Aaron Sheenan
Quality time. My LA show that I'm very proud of. I love it. It's a variety show. I'm also on the most recent season of Rotating Heroes with some of my favorite guys. Other than you guys, of course. And we're having a lot of fun. Okay. You are demons. And I think I would also like to plug hello. For the Magic Tavern. Not just because I've been recording stuff over there lately, but. But it's also a great show. Hot dogs.
JPC
No, no, hold on, hold on now. Aaron, just do your plush.
Aaron Sheenan
Yeah, just my plush.
JPC
Okay.
Adel Refai
I want to plug and promote Gumshoes and Dragons, a podcast the three of us do with our friend Anthony Birch. It's a rollicking good time. Had some very fun episodes recently on there. And also Widow's Bay. Check out Widow's Bay. It's so dark and weird and funny and well done and well written and acted. It's incredible. Jpc, anything to plug or promote or.
JPC
I'll just add that if you're ever at Red Lobs, check out their crossover promotion, the Widow's Bay biscuits. They are to die for. I love those biscuits. And it's endless shrimp going on at Red Lobster and I don't know, English shrimp. I don't know. It could very well be. Well, one thing that I will actually plug this weekend. This Saturday night is the last World News tonight show at IO. That is at 7:30 on Saturday. And if there's no tickets left, you should get a ticket and go see that show. It's very fun. It's at IO Saturday at 7:30. I also want to read a review. This is a five star review submitted by Dust Mote. Dust Mote writes. Five stars really helps. I was recovering from a Mumford and Sons overdose and this really helped, huh? Wow. So hey, it doesn't matter. We help somebody and that is special. Thank you, Dustmoat.
Aaron Sheenan
Oh, that does make sense. I remember that joke. It took me a second, but now I remember.
JPC
Okay, so one of us and hot dogs. Created by Adol Refai. Starring Aaron Sheenan and John Patrick Cullen. Casey. Tony did the editing and Marty parented the music. Created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris.
Aaron Sheenan
I feel like I haven't been giving you much fodder for the end of year soundboard this year and I'm really proud of that. My butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt and my butt. It's my butt. It's a butt. My butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt, my butt. And back to you.
JPC
Hey there tsnas. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's scenes from an airport. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog@patreon.com heyvertovertle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.
Aaron Sheenan
That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Adel Refai
Sterling K. Brown and I'M Chris Sullivan, and we host the podcast that was Us now on Headgum.
Aaron Sheenan
Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.
Adel Refai
That's right.
Aaron Sheenan
We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Adel Refai
Gonna cry. Yes. A little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?
JPC
A whole lot.
Adel Refai
That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Podcast Network: Headgum
This episode of Hey Riddle Riddle features the classic interplay of riddles, offbeat improvisational scenes, and comedic banter between hosts Adal, Erin, and JPC. While nominally a show about riddles and puzzles, the trio frequently veers off into discussions about pop culture, the evolution of media, and absurdist scenarios (with today's title nodding to Star Wars' Babu Frik). The conversation weaves through topics from podcasting trends and Star Wars alien impressions to time-traveling stand-up comedians and social media for sheep, all bookended by riotous improv and comedic asides.
Meta Comedy on the Show’s Format
On Riddle Frustrations
On Star Wars Aliens
On Disney Owning Star Wars
Ass-Based Mailbox Scene
On Therapy and Soundbites
On Riddle/Plant Puns
Closing Theater Scene
This episode encapsulates the spirit of Hey Riddle Riddle: it's nominally about riddles, but truly about the unpredictable comedic chemistry between Adal, Erin, and JPC. Riddles trigger skits, digressions, and recurring bits—expect more improv and laughter than straight-laced puzzle solving.
Notable Quote for the Episode:
"If you don't like riddles, don't worry! This podcast is barely about them!" — Show Description
[End of Summary]