#415: New Voice, Who Dis? w/ Jon Mackey

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle #415 – "New Voice, Who Dis?"

Release Date: July 1, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Guest: John Mackey

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Hey Riddle Riddle brings back comedian and musician John Mackey for a high-energy, joke-laden ride through riddles, music, band stories, funny wordplay, and classic improv. The main focus is an exploration of formative band experiences, musical tastes, how names and nicknames take root (and get weird), and, as always, a series of riddles and comedic improv. The hosts riff heavily on summer woes, guitar solos, and getting old—before challenging John to redeem his self-professed riddle ineptitude.

---

Key Discussion Points & Segment Guide

Annual Summer Check-in & John Mackey’s Voice

Timestamps: 01:31–3:55

• The hosts catch up on their less-than-ideal summers: car accidents, bruised ribs, newborns.
• Mackey joins with a notably deep, raspy (and “sexy”) voice, enthusiastic about being complimented for it.
  • “You could tell me I’m sexy all day. I haven’t got all that. Okay, just for a second, for me.” – John Mackey (03:29)
• Playful riffing about Siri recognizing his “new” voice, which quickly descends into flirty AI jokes.

---

John’s Musical Past: Embarrassing Band Names & Ska Memories

Timestamps: 06:03–10:55

• Adal asks about Mackey’s many visible guitars; John recounts being in several college and high school bands:
  • Notable Band Names: Sweater Weather (“before the song!”), the 16-piece Auxiliary House, and “Patterns of Age” (one person from each grade—website still up).
  • “My high school band probably had the best name... Patterns of Age, because there was one person from each grade in it.” – John Mackey (06:57)
• Wild stories: three-and-a-half hour sets mostly for neighbors, ska-reggae interpretations of “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” and ska band influences like Real Big Fish, Less Than Jake.
• Improv scene: Creating a setlist as an age-spanning high school band on the verge of “breaking up forever.” (10:35–16:20)
  • Hilarious, self-referential moments about graduation, band continuity, covering Vitamin C & bizarre Chumbawamba rip-offs.

---

Small Talk Turns Musical: Best Guitar Solos, Band Encounters

Timestamps: 16:28–24:14

• Favorite guitar solos debated:
  • Adal: Prince’s legendary “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” solo at the George Harrison Tribute (17:01)
  • John: Metallica’s “One” (“It’s the one that makes you... bite your bounds.” – 17:59)
  • JPC: The “Buddy Holly” solo by Weezer—“I’m not a size queen when it comes to solos.”
  • Erin: Beirut’s “Postcards from Italy” horn solo.
• Anecdotes about celebrity run-ins (Jay Mascis on a plane), rating lists, and the emotional reach of horn music (the Westerlies’ “Saro” recommended by Mackey).

---

Riddles Begin: “I Snap Without Breaking...”

Timestamps: 24:15–28:59

• Adal introduces the first riddle: “I snap without breaking and can capture moments. What am I?”\
• John nails the answer quickly (“Camera”), then follows up with prompt solves on “I’m a pair, but not a fruit…” (Shoes).
  • “I told you guys, I’m so good at this now. I’ve been practicing. ...like a high school test where I’ve been cheating by reading all. Somebody gave me a study guide.” – John Mackey (24:52)
• Improvised scene: Shoes reunited at a bar after hanging on a powerline.

---

The Great Name/Nickname Debate

Timestamps: 28:28–33:55

• Tangent on common made-up names in improv scenes (Tina & Trina), discuss bizarre nickname derivations.
  • “How do we get Dick from Richard?” – John Mackey (30:10)
  • “Buy him a couple of drinks, tell him he looks nice.” – JPC (30:23)
• Why some nickname forms sound childish; professional use of names like Robbie, etc.

---

Riddle: “I'm Where You Go To Curl Up and Die (Dye)…”

Timestamps: 50:11–53:50

• The answer is “Hair Salon,” prompting another lively improv scene:
  • John: a brutally honest stylist, Erin: habitual hair dyer, JPC: salon manager.
  • Scene escalates: stand-up club, wedding, and curtain call scenarios—all witnessing John’s “no laughter ever again” vow.

---

John’s Riddle Hot Streak and Childhood Trauma

Timestamps: 54:26–61:11

• More riddles (“baseball”—John’s confidence soars), and the hosts tease his “asshole” riddle persona.
• John shares a real story about being hit in the elbow by a pitch after a hazing incident on his high school baseball team.
  • “Every person who participated [in the hazing] got suspended and therefore had to sit out like three games. ...Chase Spruill...threw absolutely as hard as he could directly at me, and it hit me right on the point of my left elbow.” – John Mackey (57:12)
• JPC’s faux-investigation into whether “Chase Spruill” is still alive adds an absurd true-crime spin: “All we want is a fucking apology.”

---

More Riddles & Game Shows: The Twisted Mind

Timestamps: 61:45–68:50

• Riddle: “I can be open or closed, but I’m not a door…” (Answer: Mind)
• Silly game show improv: “Twisted Minds” hosted by Erin—awkward questions, bread puns, and cancellation chaos.

---

Closing—Reflections & Plugs

Timestamps: 68:50–72:43

• Hosts praise John’s riddle performance.
• Big takeaways:
  • “A name can be anything. Let the riddle slide off your back. And your guitar solo can be any size.” – JPC (69:23)
• John plugs:
  • Big Grande live UK tour dates in July (Dublin, Edinburgh, London, pending Glasgow details).
  • New show: “Main Street Sounds” (Big Grande podcast).
  • His own podcast: The Breathtamont Show with Buddy.
• Hosts throw support behind Big Grande’s live show and Teacher’s Lounge, urge listeners to harass Chase Spruill for an apology (“We are not looking for violence!” — JPC).

---

Notable Quotes & Highlights

• John on his transformed voice:
  “My wave, it’s looking, like, shy. ...The wave doesn’t really know how to form.” (04:02)
• Aaron on music taste:
  “I’m more of a horn solo girl myself.” (20:43)
• Adal’s social commentary:
  “Not everyone uses their mind. Is this just like social commentary?” (64:51)
• John on self-doubt and riddles:
  “I wouldn’t say it’s changed. I’ve consciously avoided exposure because I think I’m too stupid for this stuff.” (05:20)
• JPC on improviser branding:
  “You mean the guy who wears bandanas, drinks Shirley Temples after shows and posts spaghetti every day? Yeah, I remember him.” (48:23)
• John on unresolved high school drama:
  “I’ll say this, and this is going to sound terrible. I wouldn’t care if he was dead.” (59:47)

---

Episode Themes & Tone

• Loose, fast-paced banter: Host chemistry is as chaotic and comfortable as ever.
• Music & nostalgia: Childhood bands, favorite guitar solos, cringe band stories.
• Absurdism: Scenes spiral quickly from plausible to bizarre (AI crushes, “Chambawamba” for kids).
• Name games and language: Explores etymology, social perceptions, and improv crutches.
• Riddle redemption: John rises to the riddle challenge, defying his own low expectations with a run of quick solves.
• Pathos beneath the jokes: Acknowledgment of school hazing, growing up, and changing relationships with one’s past.

---

Summary for New Listeners

Even if you’ve never heard Hey Riddle Riddle, this episode is a showcase for the hosts’ playful, empathetic, and quick-witted improv. John Mackey’s participation adds another layer—his self-deprecation, musicality, and storytelling complement the hosts’ comedic sensibilities. You’ll leave with a smile, maybe a new band name idea, and a renewed commitment to never shorten your name to “Dick.”

---

Note:
This summary omits ad reads, intro/outro segments, and sponsor material. For more info about shows mentioned, visit BigGrandeWebsite.com or the Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a headgun podcast.

[Adel]

Truckers aren't just moving goods, they're making sure bakers get their chocolate chips and hotels get their tiny soaps. But truckers can't do this if they're not on the road. That's why Progressive has over 360 heavy truck employees to help truckers stay on time and on track. Quote Truck Insurance today in as little as eight minutes at progressivecommercial.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates.

[John Mackey]

MeTV is America's number one classic TV entertainment network, airing over 60 of the greatest TV series every week. Now METV presents the Golden Girls of Summer, showcasing the best of the Golden Girls. Watch Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia weeknights on MeTV at 10pm 9 Central. Log on to metv.com now to find out where to watch MeTV free over the air and on cable, satellite and select streaming services. METV is memorable entertainment Television.

[JPC]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice and the horses made.

[Adel]

Just a quick annual summer check in. Aaron Keefe Yes. How's your summer, baby?

[Aaron Keefe]

Pretty good. Got into a car accident. It's not sunny at all outside and I haven't been to the beach or pool yet. Gpc how was your summer?

[JPC]

Great summer going? Really fantastic. Two nights ago I was getting my kid out of the bath, slipped, railed myself in the ribs with the bathtub tub. Immediately said this is going to be the next four weeks of my life. So just walking around with a bruised rib, but it only hurts when I laugh and I sneeze.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adel, how about you? How's your summer?

[Adel]

Haven't been outside almost at all. Trying to raise a baby and eating food when I can.

[Aaron Keefe]

A little bit of a bummer. Let's try to bring someone else into the mix. John Mackey, how's your summer going?

[John Mackey]

Hi. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great. Nevermind.

[John Mackey]

That's the best.

[JPC]

No way.

[John Mackey]

That's the best.

[JPC]

Anyone? Summer's gone.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, that's the best.

[JPC]

Anyone? Summer's gone.

[John Mackey]

So far, summer's been fine.

[Aaron Keefe]

John Mackey oh my God.

[John Mackey]

Yay.

[Adel]

John Mackey.

[John Mackey]

What's up? It's me. I'm here now.

[Adel]

John, and I have to stress I'm not saying this. A lot of people this morning have been saying your usual sort of jubilant flowing cadence and tone has been replaced with almost a Dan Lippert esque dulcet tone.

[John Mackey]

Are you speaking about the low rasp that we're dealing with right now.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel]

I hadn't put a name to it, but I am still no rasp.

[JPC]

Do, do, do, do, do.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Take

[Aaron Keefe]

it easy.

[John Mackey]

Take it easy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

So, John, since the last time you were on the show, you've gotten sexy.

[John Mackey]

Thank you so much. Thank you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we can't be saying that to our guests anymore. Dude, we're gonna get in so much trouble.

[John Mackey]

No, I, I, I approve. I consent. You could tell me I'm sexy all day. I haven't got all that. Okay, just for a second, you could just, for me. Just for a moment. Just one moment, you can tell me I'm sexy. Yeah. My voice sounds crazy on my microphone. It's, I, it's even impressing me. Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Mackey]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Does your wave, like, does it look different on your recording?

[John Mackey]

My wave, it's looking, like, shy. It's like the wave, the wave doesn't really know how to form. Right on.

[JPC]

When you, I wonder if you, when you throw your voice out, does, like, is like Siri affected by that? Like, can you not activate your voice assistants and stuff?

[John Mackey]

Let's see. Hey, Siri. She heard me.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keefe]

She's like, hey, you've changed.

[John Mackey]

Calm down.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[John Mackey]

Siri just sent me a bikini pic.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Whoa.

[Adel]

Deleting all female contacts.

[JPC]

We ditched the dead weight. Who are you? Sexy. Let's get it.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Siri.

[John Mackey]

I didn't realize you had such strong opinions about me,

[Aaron Keefe]

John. Yes, you, I think came. Hi. I think you came on the show for the first time seven years ago.

[John Mackey]

That's stupid.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know.

[John Mackey]

Seven years.

[Aaron Keefe]

2019, I think was your first time. JPC is going to fact check me. JPC, we got you on the fact check board. Am I right? No.

[Adel]

Close.

[JPC]

Not even close to fact check board. Not touching anything. It's. I don't care about this fact. This is a you fact. You could do the fact I keep

[Aaron Keefe]

throwing to you guys. None of you are doing anything. Has your opinion about riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems changed over the last seven years?

[John Mackey]

I wouldn't say it's changed. I've consciously avoided exposure because. Yeah, I think I'm too stupid for this stuff.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, don't talk about Siri's boyfriend like that.

[John Mackey]

Oh, whoa. Siri's freaking out over. She's like, oh, no, she agrees. Oh, Siri. Siri thinks I'm stupid. Whoa. Chill out. I'm just talking to my friends about you. She's just like, she's doing that thing where she just, like, vibrates and, and, and an aura around my screen freaks out.

[JPC]

Yeah, women.

[Aaron Keefe]

Women.

[John Mackey]

Exactly. Wow.

[Adel]

And John, I have to ask because this is something, this is new to me that I, I did not know this about you. You are sitting in a room with seemingly just a cavalcade, a whole parade of guitars behind you.

[John Mackey]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Were you in a band? What's going on?

[John Mackey]

Yeah, I was in bands all the time. In college. All the time.

[Adel]

Can we hear some of the names? Because that's one of my favorite things is high school and college band names.

[John Mackey]

Well, my college band names, one of them had an okay name. One of them had. And the rest of them had pretty bad names. I was in one band called Sweater Weather. I was before the song.

[JPC]

This is before the song, right?

[John Mackey]

Long before jpc.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[John Mackey]

We. Some said we introduced the idea of sweater weather into the zeitgeist.

[Adel]

Who said that?

[JPC]

If you had also told me the song Sweater Weather was like Peter, Paul and Mary, you know, from like that was just like a cover from. Of a song from the 60s. I'd be like, okay, that's fine.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. But then I, I. The one band I was in that had a decent name was called Auxiliary House. And that was a, that was a big band. We had like 16 people in the band and we. It was like a. Whoa. Like a folk orchestra kind of thing. But then my high school band. My high school band probably had the best name and I mean best in the. In as. As like funniest. And we were called Patterns of Age because there was. There was one person from each grade

[Adel]

in it that rules.

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

We were bad.

[John Mackey]

Our website still exists.

[Aaron Keefe]

We were bad.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. Www.angelfire.com band poa. The website still exists.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can listen, you can email John there.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, you can. The contact still works. It goes straight.

[JPC]

Paying the debate on that bad boy. Who's paying the domain.

[John Mackey]

I have no clue. I literally don't. I literally don't know why this website still exists. It's been up since 2002.

[Adel]

And John, we are going to get to riddles, but I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you what. So let's say Patterns of Age gets hired for a bat mitzvah. What's the song we're all clamoring for?

[John Mackey]

That's a really tough question, Adel. I would say behind the Lines was probably a hot one. Yeah, I would. I would say where's your Tomorrow is a hot one. There you go. We also did a. We also did a like sort of sca reggae cover of the Battle Ham of the Republic.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, pick it up.

[Adel]

Pick it up.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[John Mackey]

I don't know why we did that. Our music was very, like, Metallica influenced. And then we just did a sca. Like a SCA song in the middle.

[Adel]

Maybe the Snatch soundtrack came out and you guys were like, wait a minute. The special sound great.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. I don't know. And. And definitely not. Definitely. The specials were not on our radar when we were thinking about Scott. We're thinking about Real Big Fish. Yeah. And. And of course, the Less Than Jake, you know? Um. Yeah, it was crazy. We played three shows in our whole life as a band. The first one was three and a half hours long.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you talking about?

[John Mackey]

We played five cover songs. Basically just my neighbors. Yeah, they stayed the whole time.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's really sweet.

[John Mackey]

Yeah.

[JPC]

35 cover songs. What's the. What was the meeting like to play the set list for that? You're like, no, we need. We need to learn more cover songs.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, there was never a. No, it was. It was just.

[JPC]

Yep.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, let's do that one, too. Yeah. Yeah, we can. Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, we'll do that. It was literally basically just like, what are all the songs we know?

[JPC]

Let's play no bad ideas and brainstorming.

[Adel]

Did anyone.

[John Mackey]

No eye for, like, ordering or anything. It was just kind of like, play them all. Who cares?

[Adel]

In the order we think of them. Was there any moment at all where anyone was brave enough to say, should we be like Metalliska, where it's like ska versions of write that down. Unforgiven2?

[John Mackey]

I wish, in hindsight, I wish that we had had that level of outside the box thinking.

[Adel]

Yeah. Enter Sandman with horns. Actually, enter ska, man.

[JPC]

All right, I want to see a scene. We're going to do a scene. We are all in a high school band. We're using Josh, where each one of us is a different grade level in high school. We have a gig to play a backyard barbecue. It's our first gig this weekend, and we are trying to settle on our set list.

[Aaron Keefe]

Guys, I don't want to pull seniority, like, all the time, but also, I am going to. But Greg, I am going to. Like, I'm graduating, right? And so, like, I want an opportunity to play all these songs that I love.

[JPC]

Did you almost say Greg Uate?

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, it's something I'm working on. I'm thinking about Greg graduating. It's not done yet.

[Adel]

Greg's never gonna graduate the vitamin C song. Oh, also put on the Baz Luhrmann song. That's Mostly talking. You know what I'm talking about? Sunscreen. Sunscreen. One.

[JPC]

I'll do that.

[Adel]

I'll sing that one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll do something, maybe you won't. Isn't that the one that you're talking about?

[Adel]

That's the one.

[JPC]

I just assumed that whoever's pitching the song is gonna sing for that song. Cause I know we all wanna be lead singer. And so this is probably a great opportunity to figure out Happy birthday.

[John Mackey]

I'm. Oh, come on, Greg.

[Aaron Keefe]

Greg, you're a freshman. You don't even know what that song means yet. You haven't really lived it.

[JPC]

You haven't lived it.

[John Mackey]

You haven't lived it, Greg.

[Adel]

Full version. Do you know the unedited version?

[John Mackey]

Yeah, the one with the cuss words in it?

[JPC]

Yeah, it's really sad. The full title of it is Happy Birthday in parentheses. Suicide is paidless.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. Fuck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Fuck. And then it says and many more at the end. You don't get it. You don't get it, Greg.

[John Mackey]

But I. I feel like the only way that you do get it is experience. Right? That's why I joined this band. I want to play as many shows as possible. I want to play as many songs as possible.

[Adel]

Yes.

[John Mackey]

So that as I get older, I have the experience. You know, my next band. My next band.

[Aaron Keefe]

Next band.

[JPC]

Next band. The.

[John Mackey]

Well, like this band not going to last forever, you guys.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you talking about?

[John Mackey]

Let's be honest. This band's not going to last forever.

[Aaron Keefe]

What? We all promised to be together forever.

[John Mackey]

Well, you're going to college in Saskatchewan.

[Aaron Keefe]

You don't remember what it is?

[John Mackey]

Of course.

[Aaron Keefe]

University of Saskatchewan. It's so easy to remember.

[John Mackey]

It's so easy to remember it.

[JPC]

Craig. Stephanie might be leaving the band, but the band continues on.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm leaving the band. I cycle out.

[Adel]

Well, you're going college in Seceshuan.

[JPC]

You join a college. You join a college band as the

[Adel]

freshman University of Seceshuan.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm not even saying Saskatchewan. I'm not even saying it right anymore. You know what? Forget it. I'm not. I was.

[JPC]

You told me you were going to University of Szechua.

[Adel]

Great. Now I want Chinese food. Awesome, guys.

[John Mackey]

Oh, great.

[Aaron Keefe]

My guess is not my fault.

[John Mackey]

Hey, listen. Waiting again. Stop it, you guys. This is our last show before Stephanie leaves. This is why I hated the idea of this band. We're just in a band together for a year and then one of us leaves and then we replace you with a younger person and this band exists forever, perpetually, until the end of time. It's a cool idea and concept, but do you require. It requires so many beginnings and endings, you guys.

[Adel]

Well, just know that if we do break up, which it sounds like Greg is suggesting, our GeoCities Flash website will stay forever because I swallowed the password.

[Aaron Keefe]

How is that possible? Mike?

[John Mackey]

Yeah, I think you're confused about how passwords work.

[JPC]

Guys, I don't give a. I literally don't give a fuck about this. I just want to play all the Chambawamba B sides. Classic sophomore thinking, okay?

[Aaron Keefe]

Classic thing for a sophomore to say.

[JPC]

Yeah, I'm a sophomore with taste.

[Adel]

Typical second year.

[Aaron Keefe]

What Chumbawamba B side do you want us to play?

[John Mackey]

He wants to play Chambawamba. Not Chumbawamba.

[JPC]

Not Chumbawamba. Not. Not the British band. I want Chombawamba.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's Chambawamba?

[Adel]

The band's like.

[JPC]

It's like Wiggles. They're like kids. It's like kids. Chumbawamba.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are their songs?

[JPC]

If you have to ask, honey, you can't afford it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, whatever. Okay, Greg, you'll sing Happy Birthday. It will be the only song we do, and then we'll go our separate ways the full.

[John Mackey]

Oh, wait.

[Adel]

Can we end? Never mind.

[Aaron Keefe]

What? Mike, say it.

[Adel]

Can we end on I hope you dance. And don't forget. Don't forget, like the fourth time when we sing. I hope you dance. Everyone else comes in quicker than normal with dance. I hope you dance. You can't leave too much of a pause.

[John Mackey]

It's such a good song.

[JPC]

It's such a good song. It's actually one of the only good songs.

[Adel]

Can we just play that like, 10, 12 times?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Because I do hope you guys still feel tall when you stand beside the ocean. And I do hope that whenever. One door. I'm trying to do a thing. Sophomore, please. What?

[JPC]

When you leave for that university in Sessastuan that you're going to. Jesus, none of us can remember exactly. Okay, I think we should all go. I think we should not break up the band. I think we should all go to Skywind.

[Adel]

Oh, I have to talk to the guidance counselor. If I can get out early.

[John Mackey]

Get out of high school early?

[Aaron Keefe]

I think you'll have to drop out. You can't just go to a university you didn't get into. Right?

[JPC]

Well, that's what you're doing.

[John Mackey]

I said it.

[JPC]

I said it.

[Adel]

We saw the.

[JPC]

I saw your letter. You didn't get into Saskatchewan.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow. Okay, fine. I didn't get in. I was going to go and try to beg, but you're right. Maybe I'll just stay here and I'll be in this band forever.

[John Mackey]

See, I like that scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

Before we do riddles, I had this thought right when I saw your guitars when you logged on. What is the. Your favorite? I guess. Guys, guitar solo of all time.

[Adel]

Oh, my God.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whoa.

[JPC]

This is easy for me.

[Adel]

Not even close off the top of my head. And it might just be because I watch it like every two or three weeks. Well, the Clapton solo from While My Guitar Gently Weeps, but as done by

[Aaron Keefe]

Prince during the whole George Harrison tribute thing.

[Adel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's pretty incredible.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's a great answer.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Wow.

[Adel]

And everyone else, like Tom Petty and everyone's kind of looking at him like in Danny Harrison. They're looking at him like, he didn't tell us he was going to do this.

[Aaron Keefe]

This was not on the running order backstage.

[JPC]

He didn't clear this with us, guys. Actually, we're all really upset about it.

[Adel]

This is a spit in the face of George Harris.

[John Mackey]

What if I was like, my favorite guitar solo is. Good King Wentces Lost by that Trans Siberian Orchestra.

[Aaron Keefe]

If that's your true answer, then you're my hero. All of a sud.

[JPC]

Real, John. Then that's good.

[John Mackey]

I'm goofing around. It's not real. My favorite guitar solo is pretty. It's pretty hack. I. I almost even hate to admit it, but it's the guitar solo in one by Metallica.

[Adel]

It's okay.

[John Mackey]

It's a real good one. It's a really good.

[JPC]

It's a real good one.

[John Mackey]

It's like. It's the one that makes you kind of go like. Like bite your bounds.

[Adel]

Kind of biting us. Yeah.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. John.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know if that's hack because I'm looking at Rolling Stones rating and it's not even in the top 20. So I think that is probably Zeppelin.

[Adel]

There's probably a lot.

[John Mackey]

So that's kind of a backhanded.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no. I just think I'm like.

[John Mackey]

I think that's not even anywhere close to the top 20 in rolling stuff.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, it's kind of like a terrible opinion, I guess. No, I think it.

[John Mackey]

You like it?

[Aaron Keefe]

Underrated.

[John Mackey]

No. Yeah, I think it's. It's specifically for me because my brother used to play.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[John Mackey]

I would hear him playing it in his bedroom without any other music. And it just has emotional stuff.

[JPC]

Mine is from Weezer's Buddy Holly after they say that's for all Time. And he goes, me nee nee neo

[Aaron Keefe]

meen o nee nooo vlog.

[John Mackey]

But here's a question. Is that. I mean, I guess it is technically, by definition, a guitar solo.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[John Mackey]

But it's more like just a little. Like a little he.

[JPC]

I'm not one of these guys. I'm not a size queen. I'm not a size queen when it comes to solos. I think, like, a solo can be,

[John Mackey]

you know, any kind of, like, featured moment.

[JPC]

You got a small solo out there. No shame. Don't be a Paris Devin. Don't hide your light under a bushel basket. You got a. You got a beautiful solo. And JPC sees it, I think also

[Adel]

Dinosaur junior Not alone. There's a part. Where is it? Jay Masis J. Macias.

[John Mackey]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Has, like, a really nice, fun, flirty, quick guitar solo. A guy I once saw on an airplane. And I go. I was walking past him. He was just sitting on an exit row. And I was like, do I say something to him? And I was like, I don't think he cares.

[JPC]

You saw the guy from the band, Jay Massis?

[Adel]

Yeah.

[JPC]

You don't think he cares? What? You don't think he cares about who he is? I was.

[Adel]

Well, I was going to say just something like, I'm a big fan.

[John Mackey]

Care about me. Yeah.

[Adel]

I was going to say something like, hey, I'm a big fan, etc. And. And I. He struck me as someone who just be like, okay, okay, okay.

[John Mackey]

Which would be the most demoralizing reaction from, like, a celebrity of just when

[Adel]

people behind me probably don't recognize him and are like, can you go to your seat, dude?

[John Mackey]

He's just like, yeah, sure, man. Thanks.

[Adel]

Mask.

[Aaron Keefe]

Back on the Prince While my guitar gently weeps is at 15, which I feel like is also low.

[Adel]

Does it specifically say the Prince one?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And then the Beatles one is in 10, five spots ahead.

[JPC]

You're just kind of calling everybody out on their picks. That's kind of what your whole thing seems to be.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm kind of roasting people on their picks because I'm more of a horn solo girl myself.

[John Mackey]

What's your favorite horn solo of all time then?

[JPC]

Huh? Oh, yeah. Name 12. Oh, you like horn solos? Name 15.

[Aaron Keefe]

I probably could. My music taste is bad. I like. I like any Paul McCartney horn solo. I love, like, I love the. For no one horn solo. But I think my favorite one of all time is in the Beirut song, Postcards From Italy,

[John Mackey]

the unsung hero of horn music.

[Aaron Keefe]

I saw them live, and There was like 12 trumpet players. Evening. Let's go, boys.

[John Mackey]

I just wanted to. Just because you like horns. Look up, look up this song. Everybody out there. If you're. Listen, if you're a music person, there's this song by this band called the Westerlies. And it's called Sorrow S A R O. And it is one of the most emotional horn songs I've ever heard in my life. It's just. They're just like a horn quartet. And it is like the way that I. I don't even want to burn this joke, but Big Grande had this idea for a long time of doing a sketch that was this song being played at a funeral. And just the people listening to it get too invested in the song because it's a song that just like slowly builds its like emotional, like emotionality for four and a half minutes or three. Like three minutes. And it is so good. One, it's the best song in the world. But just imagine you're at like an old, like Revolutionary War funeral while you're listening to it and imagine everybody just

[Aaron Keefe]

like getting some afternoon plans.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, it's one of the funniest things you'll ever experience, I hear.

[JPC]

Thinking about that Revolutionary War

[Adel]

gone too soon.

[JPC]

Gone too soon.

[Adel]

Well, John, legally, we do have to get through some riddles.

[JPC]

Yeah. Does that piss you off, John?

[John Mackey]

I wouldn't say it pisses me off. It's just kind of like what the. The point. You know what I mean?

[Aaron Keefe]

He said it, not us. He said it, not us. And we agree with him.

[John Mackey]

I'm excited, cuz I think that I'm going to do good today. I've decided. Oh, I'm going to try really hard. I'm not going to be embarrassed by how dumb I am or anything like that. I'm just going to try really hard is kind of where I'm at with it.

[JPC]

Love that for you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Love the attitude. Siri's going to be really proud of you.

[John Mackey]

She's slipping out over here.

[Adel]

I was going to say just very quickly. I was listening to an album and I completely forgot their name. I want to say Dexie's Midnight Runners, but that is 100% not true. Who sings Money for Nothing in Sultan's the Swing?

[John Mackey]

Dire Straits.

[Adel]

Dire Straits. Yeah. I listened to a Dire Straits album and. And that guy is unbelievable on guitar, whoever that guy, the lead singer is or whatever.

[John Mackey]

Also, I. I would say you're one of the only people in our general age range who's ever uttered the sentence. I was listening to a Dire Straits album.

[Adel]

Yeah.

[John Mackey]

Nobody's. Everybody's listening to the hits. Nobody's listening to the full albums with Dire Straits.

[Adel]

Well, that's the thing is I've been trying to go back and I'm like, who do I. I'm like. I love the song. Werewolves of London has my favorite lyric of all time. So I sat down the other day and I'm like, I want to listen to a full Warren Zevon album. Incredible, phenomenal stuff. So I've been trying to, like, expand my knowledge of some musicians that I have. I have appreciation for. For just one song. Here's a riddle. I snap without breaking and can capture moments. What am I?

[JPC]

Stick.

[John Mackey]

I mean, camera.

[Adel]

It's a camera.

[John Mackey]

See, I told you guys. I'm so good at this now. I'm so good at it now.

[Adel]

John just grew three inches.

[John Mackey]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Feels pretty good. He feels pretty good. Here's another one here. I'm a pear, but I'm not a fruit. Sometimes you can find me on power lines, but usually I'm on the ground. What am I?

[Aaron Keefe]

I was going to say a bird, but they're not usually on the ground.

[John Mackey]

Pear.

[Adel]

I'm a pear, but I'm not a fruit. Sometimes you can find me on Powerline.

[John Mackey]

Shoes.

[Adel]

But usually it's shoes.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

John.

[John Mackey]

I told you guys, I'm getting so good at this. I've been practicing. I needed to let you guys know, ever since. Ever since I was on, I've looked at every riddle that's ever been wrote. Holy crap. I've been studying like, it's like this is like a high school test where I've been cheating by reading all. Somebody gave me a study guide.

[Aaron Keefe]

We'll find who that person is and we will fire them for sure. Could I see a scene? Jpc. And John, you're gonna be a pair of shoes that were on a power line for a long time. And you're running into an old friend. Adol. At a bar and sort of talking about your time.

[John Mackey]

Oh, man, I've needed this drink. Hey, man, chill out. Be normal, man.

[Adel]

Lawrence. Tony.

[John Mackey]

Oh, my

[Adel]

close. Greg.

[John Mackey]

Greg. It's so good to see you. Sorry, Lawrence. Lawrence and I have been out of the public eye for a while.

[Adel]

Oh, no.

[JPC]

And he's dibble, slip, dibble, slipping. Covered.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, he kind of forgotten how to speak.

[Adel]

I heard you guys. Let me lower my foot. I heard you guys went to Turkey and got your tread redone.

[John Mackey]

We had to. We had to. Yeah. And his is not healing well. He's having some issues.

[Aaron Keefe]

We cut to a bunch of Shoes on a plane with all their treads redone. And then we cut back.

[John Mackey]

How are you, man? How are you?

[JPC]

It was tip.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Good, good.

[Adel]

Gloria just got vp.

[John Mackey]

No kidding?

[Adel]

Yeah. What'd you say, Capitan? You don't say that anymore. Well, she's a. She's my wife, so we don't say that.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, you can't say that. His wife is banging

[Adel]

boys.

[John Mackey]

We're not high school now. He said. He says. I'm only saying that because she is really, really beautiful. I'm not mean or gross.

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you tongue burning? Are you talking about me, sweetie?

[Adel]

Hey, you remember Gloria. These two goofs. Tony, Lawrence.

[Aaron Keefe]

I heard a rumor that you guys were dead. Oh, my God. Hi. How are you? Oh, God, what happened to you?

[John Mackey]

Do you want me to tell him the whole story or I assume I'm gonna bet he says, yeah, you have to tell him.

[Adel]

Oh, wait, guys.

[Aaron Keefe]

Right.

[Adel]

Right behind you. Is that Adam Sandler?

[John Mackey]

Come on, guys. I don't.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm just saying.

[JPC]

Am I crazy? Did you say that those shoes were on a power line?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Okay, great. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

You played an electrocuted shoe. You did it.

[JPC]

I just wanted to make sure when I was playing an electrocuted shoe, I wasn't missing something.

[Adel]

I did the classic thing where it's like. Because I just woke up right before this episode, it's like trying to think of a character name. And I'm like, oh, Greg's at the front of my head for some reason. And then I'm like, yeah, it was John's character from 10 minutes ago.

[John Mackey]

I think that happens so, like, so often. Like on my podcasts. Dave, my co host, every time he makes up a name for a woman, her name is either Tina or Trina. And I'm like, have you ever met anybody? I've never met in real life? Atina? I've never met anyone named Tina or Trina.

[JPC]

I've met at Tina. I've never met at Trina. I'll tell you that. I've never met at Trina.

[Adel]

I do love. He uses Tina and Trina. And I gotta say, I have never met a Tina.

[John Mackey]

I was not expecting that, but I haven't. It's just that's never the name that would come to my mind.

[Adel]

Well, John, have you met a Christina?

[John Mackey]

Okay. At all?

[JPC]

You're his whole up right now.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. What the hell, dude? Is that what is.

[Adel]

Or Chrissy or Chris. Some. Some women go by Chris.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just hitting our guest at all.

[John Mackey]

No, no, I'm not upset. I'm not upset at All. I'm upset myself. I've never even thought about this. I've never thought about Tina as a shortening.

[Adel]

Okay, John's taking a little notepad out. He's picking up a guitar. He's starting to noodle. He's writing a song, he's.

[John Mackey]

Tina gently weeps.

[JPC]

John, can I blow your mind? Trina. Trina is short for Trina. T from the Matrix.

[Aaron Keefe]

Shut up. Shut up.

[John Mackey]

It's short for Katrina the hurricane.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Or Cat. Cat is short for Cat. Yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

Or Catherine sometimes. Yeah.

[Adel]

What I don't get is when people are like Jack is short for John or for Jonathan, and I'm like, what

[John Mackey]

the fuck are you talking about? How do we get Jim from James?

[Adel]

No.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adel]

That's unacceptable. Unacceptable.

[John Mackey]

Or Dick from Richard.

[Adel]

That.

[Aaron Keefe]

What did we do? What did we do? We didn't have to do that. We did that. We didn't have to do that and we did that.

[JPC]

Can you believe I have a joke for that? Can you ask that question again, John?

[John Mackey]

How do we get dick from Richard?

[JPC]

Buy him a couple of drinks, tell

[John Mackey]

him he looks nice.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is my dad. So if we can pivot 10,000 hours.

[John Mackey]

Dad's name is Dick?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, it's Richard. Oh, thank God.

[John Mackey]

So Dick is his profession?

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[Adel]

Did he ever go by like Richie or any of that?

[Aaron Keefe]

No. I think maybe sometimes people call him Rich. I've heard people call him Rich.

[John Mackey]

Here's a question I have. When is it appropriate to transition to no longer using your like shortened nickname? Because I feel like for people like shortened nicknames are like, like my brother, his name's Robbie, but his like real name is Robert, but some people call him Rob. And he still, he's 44, still goes professionally by Robbie, which to me a 44 year old Robbie feels wrong. Yeah, I call him Rob.

[Adel]

To me this is just my, my take on it. If someone has come before you, if someone famous or of note has set precedent. So to me, lead singer, the band Canadian group Robbie Robertson, to me it's like that's fair game.

[John Mackey]

He'll be Robbie until he's dead. Which might be.

[Adel]

But if there's no. If there's no sort of like in the cultural zeitgeist, if there's no one to one, you can't do it. Although I have a.

[John Mackey]

You can't do it.

[Adel]

I have a stepfather in law whose name is Willie and that is his name. And before I'm like, should I call him like Will or William? And my wife is like, no. His birth certificate is Willy. It's not a shortening. So sometimes it's confusing because you're like, oh, that's surely short for William. But no, that is his Christian name.

[Aaron Keefe]

The way I think about it is names, because names are popular at the same time that they grow with the people. For 100 years ago, Edith, people were like, well, that's a little girl's name. No one. And now it's like, that's such an old lady name. And when I was younger, I had so much anxiety because I had never met a grown up Aaron before. I was like, that's a kid's name. Am I gonna have to change my name? And then my mom, we were at a bakery and the woman's name was Erin. She was like, see, grownups can have the name Aaron. And I was like, oh, thank God. I did not want to have to change my name. But I think Robbie, now kids will associate Robbie with like a grown man name. It just changes.

[JPC]

That's interesting. I think the short answer is a name can be anything you want it to be. Anybody can have. Anybody can have any name. You can do it.

[John Mackey]

Thank you for saying it.

[JPC]

But I do think that if you have a Y or an ie at the end of your name, you're like a little bitch.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, that is a hot choice.

[JPC]

Personally, what I think that's not the opinion of anyone on the podcast, but

[John Mackey]

no, that is kind of how I feel like it does. I wouldn't go as far as to say little bitch. I would say there's just a young energy to any name that kind of has like a E sound at the end or where you sound like you're making that person into a little baby.

[Adel]

There's no Google meeting that's kicking off with Bobby. Your presentation, right?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel]

No, that's not happening.

[John Mackey]

Bob or Robert, does this translate to

[Aaron Keefe]

female names for you? I. I like you would take a Molly seriously.

[JPC]

True.

[John Mackey]

No. Yeah, I guess it doesn't. It doesn't translate to female names like traditional female names.

[Aaron Keefe]

And that's something to explore.

[JPC]

Wow. The.

[John Mackey]

The ones listed all women as adult mature.

[JPC]

That's a horrible thing.

[Adel]

John's sweating so much.

[John Mackey]

I hate that I said that. That sounds.

[JPC]

No, technically, that's right.

[John Mackey]

Yes.

[JPC]

Because you did say women and all women are adults. Yeah.

[John Mackey]

It just sounded crazy. When you really start to pull.

[JPC]

Let's all take five minutes and say the most problematic thing that is actually correct that we could think of. I would save my white guitar in a fire. Something real. John said before we begin recording.

[John Mackey]

Hold on no time.

[Adel]

We do have to take a break. We'll be right back.

[JPC]

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Hey everybody, it's jpc and I want to tell you about Squarespace. It's the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. We use squarespace for heyriddleriddle.com It's a great website. You can go on there and find a whole bunch of stuff that I haven't updated in a while. You can find, you know, the episodes of the show. Yeah, you don't need to find those. You're already listening to the show. Man. Reading all the cool things that Squarespace has really makes me think I should add some stuff to our website. I mean, Squarespace has cutting edge design. With Squarespace's collection of cutting edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful website, professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. You can choose from a library of professionally designed, award winning templates. And no matter where you start, your website is flexible to what you need. With intuitive drag and drop editing, beautiful styling options, unrivaled visual design effects. Oh, man, I could be doing this. No experience required. That's me. That's me to a T. Oh. Plus, Squarespace has SEO tools. You can get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap, and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. What do I get if I search for Riddle podcast? Good. Hey, first result. So be like me and get your own Squarespace website. Head to squarespace.com riddle for a free trial when you're ready to launch. Use offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, guys. Can't talk long. A very crazy week. I've got about 60 seconds to hang out with you guys. I'm really on the go this time of the year.

[JPC]

Okay, we don't have to talk. I just want to kind of spend our minute hanging out, cuddling if everyone's cool with that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'll be the big spoon. As per usual. You know what's been helping me so much this week, guys? Having my Tempo meal. Tempo delivers fresh chef created dietitian approved meals right to your door.

[Adel]

Well, Aaron, sweetie, that's and let me just snuggle in between here. That's the thing is with Tempo, each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast without, you know, like sad podcast studio lunch or like drive through regret.

[John Mackey]

Mm plus.

[JPC]

With 20 new recipes every week made from nutrient rich ingredients, Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits. Hey, speaking of keeping things exciting, why don't I be the tiny sharp fork?

[Adel]

Ow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh. Okay, we'll try it. No matter what your goals, there's a Tempo meal for you. Protein packed meals with up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious and even GLP1 based meals. I love the filet mignon with creamy mushroom sauce. 30 grams of protein. Gorgeous. Makes your home smell nice. Cozy, cozy meal in your belly. Ugh. The best.

[JPC]

Let me get my tiny fork and that.

[Adel]

Speaking of the best, even busy athletes like Maria Sharapova.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow.

[Adel]

Don't say a word, Maria. But thanks for coming. Dynamite smile even she swears by Tempo for balanced meals that help them stay on top of their wellness goals. Bye Maria. Thanks for stopping by.

[JPC]

And for a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to Tempo meals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box. Tempomeals.com riddle rules and restrictions may apply.

[Adel]

Sharapova, you're snuggling us too. Don't say a word.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't say a word. It's really nice to see you.

[Adel]

Don't say anything.

[JPC]

Hey everybody, JPC here. You know, one thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels. The days are a little more relaxed and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again. That is why I Love Quince. Quince's 100% European linen pants and shirts are breathable, easy to throw on, and the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just $34. I absolutely love their linen shirts. I wear my Quince linen shirts all summer long. They're light, they're breezy. It's the best feeling in the summertime. Plus, their tees are soft enough to live in all day. And the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when the summer nights cool down. Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quint's has Home goods. They have sheets. They became a trusted favorite from everything from home to travel to everyday essentials. Plus, I played Peter Quince in Midsummer Night's Dream when I was in high school. And maybe one time after that. I think I've been in it twice. So make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to Quince.com Riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Riddle actually, guys, I've said Quince so much, I'm now remembering I played bottom of the Weaver. I did not play Peter Quince and Midsummer Night's Dream in high school. And one other time after that, played Bottom the Weaver twice. Yeah, so anyway, I'm at the restaurant, I'm having a nice meal, and then the guy comes up and he taps me. The mater d or whatever. He taps me on the shoulder and he says, you have to leave the restaurant. I know that. Those aren't real hands. You can't wear fake hands at the restaurant. I know you're the guy who's been coming into the restaurant to steal salt and ketchup in your fake hands and filling your fake prosthetic hands up with salt and ketchup. So I make a big scene. He's roughing me up. Basically, my hand starts leaking salt and ketchup all over the place.

[Adel]

Oh, sorry. I'm getting a call from Rocket Money.

[JPC]

Yeah, take it. Yeah, take it, take it.

[Adel]

Unless. Did you.

[JPC]

No, no, no. Sounds like an important call.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God, guys, I just got the best follow up from Rocket Money. They just canceled one of my subscriptions, and I didn't even have to do it. They did it for me.

[JPC]

You guys talked about Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Right? Yeah.

[Adel]

Yes.

[JPC]

I wish I was using Rocke Money. Wouldn't have to still sell ketchup from restaurants.

[Adel]

Oh, that's. Oh, I'm. I didn't realize. I can lend you money.

[JPC]

Yeah, no, I mean, you don't have to do that.

[John Mackey]

I would appreciate it.

[JPC]

I mean, it's been tough times.

[Adel]

Yeah, I'm just a little flush right now. Because Rocket Money, like we said, can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app. With a few taps, saving users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions.

[JPC]

That's a lot.

[Adel]

Not that I have 880 million, but let's just say I'm doing pretty well.

[Aaron Keefe]

I've been using Rocket Money way before they were even a sponsor of the show. It is so good for my brain. If you're like me and you're a little disorganized, it's all color coded. You can set up budgets for yourself. You can consolidate checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give yourself a clear view of your financial picture so you don't get surprised by anything. There's no little dark corners in your bank account anymore. You know exactly what's going on and exactly where your money's to going.

[JPC]

Well, Rocket Money also lets you use automated savings that grow towards goals with adjustable amounts and frequencies for a set it and forget it approach. So if I wanted 100 pounds of ketchup and 100 pounds of salt by tomorrow, all I have to do is, oh, save that much salt and ketchup.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Adel]

Excuse me. It's me, the maitre d. I just wanted to confront you and say, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle

[Aaron Keefe]

JBC stole all this ketchup.

[JPC]

Rocket Money, leave your prosthetic hands at home, because you won't. You're gonna have enough salt and ketchup at home that you don't need prosthetic hands at a restaurant. Rocket Money.

[Adel]

Goodness, that is better. Myself, John, do you ever go. Do you ever tinker with going by Nathan? Wait, are you a Jonathan?

[John Mackey]

I am. Is Nathan a shortening of Jonathan?

[JPC]

Sometimes, not always, but, yeah, it can be. It can be.

[Aaron Keefe]

I actually didn't know.

[John Mackey]

I've never thought about it. This is blowing my mind.

[Adel]

Here's like, eight years ago, I discovered that Topher Grace, his first name is Christopher, and instead of Chris, he went by Topher. And it blew my mind to where I did, like, a research on, like, not research I just googled, but, like, name shortenings. And there were so many where I was like, I never piece that together. So now it's like a fun little.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, that's the first I've ever thought about Topher. Yes, My world is being exploded today.

[Adel]

But I think. I think with. And I'm sure you know this, but I think with, like, saga, there's a lot of, like, oh, there's already Chris Grace. So it's like, I'll go. And there's already Christopher Grace. I'll go Topher Grace or whatever that is. Like, Emma Stone is Emily. And then there's already an Emily Stone. So she goes, I'm just gonna change it to Emma Stone.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow.

[John Mackey]

Folks, you have control over everything in your life. You don't have to accept anything.

[JPC]

That's.

[John Mackey]

That's the moral of this story. You can change everything about everything, and that's okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can do a 20 minute guitar solo that no one asked you to do and then have it be in the top 15 of all time.

[JPC]

Have. Have either of you or any of you ever done something like that? Like, I know people that did that when they, like, went to high school, did, like, a personality reset where they were like, oh, I'm going to, like, change. I'm going to just be this different person now. Like, I'm going to change this aspect of myself because I'm in a new situation. Any of you ever done that?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I've never done a rebrand. I do change my hair color every 15 minutes, but I'll clip that whole thing.

[JPC]

I've never done a rebrand. I do change my hair color, but

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm still the same. I would say aggressively, violently so. My personality and everything else has changed exactly the same.

[John Mackey]

Describing yourself as violently so. Yeah, I don't change anything about myself.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's just the hair.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, I kind of had like a. I. I was many things at the same time in high school where I was like. I was like kind of a chameleon in, like, moment to moment, where, like, actually in my real life I was into, like, punk and ska.

[Adel]

Why just swallow the word scuff?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. What was that? What was that last.

[JPC]

Oh, we didn't. I don't think we got that one clear.

[John Mackey]

You want me to pick it up?

[JPC]

Pick it up.

[John Mackey]

Should I pick it up? But no, like, I was, like, really into, like, like, like that kind of music. But then, like, everyone I went to school with was like, super into, like, country music. And, like, if I wanted to have friends, I had to, like, kind of, like, like things I didn't really care about. So there was not, like, it wasn't like I was completely changing everything about myself, but I was definitely performing a version of myself that was not authentic sometimes. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But not after high school. I never did that shit again. I found myself, and I've been that guy ever since. And this is who that guy is. We'll be right back.

[JPC]

For a while in Chicago, when I was doing improv, I decided that I was going to buy a bunch of bandanas and color coordinates bandanas to shirts that I was wearing. So I would have like, green shirt, green bandana, black shirt, black bandana.

[Aaron Keefe]

We were just talking about. Harrison and I were talking about the other day that in my head, you were wearing bandanas for way more years than you ended up actually wearing them. Because I just so associated them with you.

[JPC]

It was probably a few years. And I still do wear bandanas every once in a while because I have them all and I still have, like a drawer full of color coordinated bandanas. It's not like I got rid of them, but I just don't wear them as much. I used to have really long hair, and it was like one of those things where I didn't want to do ponytails for shows, but I didn't want to have my hair in my face. And the bandana became, like, a very good way to keep hair out of my face for when I was doing improv shows.

[John Mackey]

Do you do coverage or do you just do, like a wraparound band? How did you tie just a wraparound band?

[JPC]

I didn't do, like, motorcycle club. Like, you could have pulled out of the back.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. You could have done that.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Wild West Robbery.

[JPC]

Yeah, I did bandanas over my mouth and nose. Yeah. I'm here for Shauna's money, not your money.

[Adel]

I was going in my phone, I have like a hundred thousand photos just because I never. I'm kind of a big deal. I just never get rid of anything. And I never, like, sort through my. I'm always like, I'll get to it later. But I was going through photos the other day to try and, like, organize them. And I started from the beginning, and I saw so many pictures, japes of you in your bandanas, and I'm like, totally forgot that period. And then I also saw a bunch of photos that you sent of one specific plate of spaghetti.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah.

[Adel]

And I was like, I totally forgot. You used to send that or post that or something where it's like every once in a while in a text message or something, you would send a plate of spaghetti. And it was just a little statement piece.

[JPC]

I did that on Facebook every day for two years. I would post the exact same photo of spaghetti. And I would say for two years. And the caption was. It was always like, I changed the captions a little bit. It was always like, having a great Wednesday. And it was the same. And I'd been having a great Thursday, something like that. I can't remember the exact Caption was. But it was fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

I will say gpc. It worked. There was several thousand people in Chicago doing improv and comedy. And you were very memorable. I was like, you mean the guy who wears bandanas, drinks Shirley Temples after shows and posts spaghetti every day? Yeah, I remember him.

[JPC]

Spaghetti every day. That's my whole thing.

[Adel]

Baby, we gotta take her for a walk.

[John Mackey]

I. For two weeks on Facebook. Back when I was active on Facebook when I was younger, I changed my birthday to every day for two weeks. And one person said, happy birthday twice. Sincerely, not as a joke. He was not joking. This was like a guy I went to high school with who was not a jokester.

[Adel]

Every day again, time flies, John.

[JPC]

I also did that every day for years on Facebook. And the funniest part about that bit was that, like, seven months would go by and then where every day was my birthday. And then one person would be like, hey, happy birthday. And I'm like, today. Today's the day you chose to wish me happy birthday. It's so strange.

[John Mackey]

Hey. But it still feels good every time. You know what I mean? Even if it's a lot.

[JPC]

Fantastic.

[John Mackey]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Ye.

[Aaron Keefe]

If I were a therapist, I'd be like, so every day's your birthday, huh? Let's talk about that.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Why?

[Aaron Keefe]

Why are we doing that? Is it just a bit, or do you kind of want people to care about you every day?

[John Mackey]

I kind of want people to care about me. I wanted people to have a easy excuse to reach out. That's it.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's interesting. We are coming to the end of our session, though, so we will have to pick this up.

[John Mackey]

Three minutes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, but I'm not. I'm hungry.

[JPC]

I'm always coming at the end of every session that I do, baby. Yeah, that's therapy for. Oh, come on, Grow up, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, this is sounds of me enjoying it.

[JPC]

That's not unfamiliar to me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gross.

[JPC]

Adol. Do we have another riddle?

[Adel]

I'm where you go to curl up and die. But when you leave, you feel more alive.

[Aaron Keefe]

Denny's Sea Theater. Big seats.

[Adel]

I love Denny's. Just rebranding. We're where you go to curl up and die.

[JPC]

Denny's curl up and die.

[John Mackey]

I'm where you go to curl up and die.

[Adel]

I'm where you go to curl up and dye. But when you leave.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hair salon.

[JPC]

Hair salon it is.

[Adel]

Hair salon.

[JPC]

Hair salon.

[Adel]

I do want to see a scene.

[JPC]

Yep.

[Adel]

Mackie, you are a stylist at a hair salon. Aaron Keefe has just walked in and plopped down, and she would like to get her hair color changed.

[John Mackey]

Great. Yes. What are you looking for today? You know, you've. You've obviously done some. You've done this before. You've just done this before. I could tell.

[Aaron Keefe]

What does that mean?

[John Mackey]

His hair is obviously just fried. Absolutely fried.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is crazy. Okay.

[John Mackey]

Sorry, I just. I'm just going straight.

[JPC]

Hey, John. Hey, John. Can we talk real quick?

[John Mackey]

What's up? Hey, you've been warned about this before.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[JPC]

You treat the customers with respect and dignity.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[John Mackey]

And I think respect and dignity means full, transparent honesty. You know, we can't lie to these people.

[JPC]

What was, what was the little laugh about?

[John Mackey]

I just try to do better. I shouldn't laugh at my clients. That's the part of this that I will take. I shouldn't laugh at my clients. But everything else, I think. I think it's okay to tell them how they. Their hair is being damaged by the procedures.

[JPC]

I literally just have a problem with the laugh. That's the problem.

[John Mackey]

I'll never laugh again. I swear. Scout's honor. I'll never laugh again in my life. Jon.

[JPC]

I'm not asking for that. I'm not asking you to swear off laughing.

[John Mackey]

Well, that's what's gonna happen.

[Adel]

We cut to a stand up show where John's front row. And so I was telling my wife, you fix the car. Okay. We got a tough guy in the front row, huh?

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Won't laugh.

[John Mackey]

No, that was funny.

[Adel]

You won't fucking laugh at me?

[John Mackey]

No, but that was funny.

[Adel]

You better fucking laugh.

[John Mackey]

No, I'm telling you it was funny. And I know it sounds sarcastic, but it's just the way that I talk. I thought it was very funny. You've obviously put a lot of work into these jokes. And I do want to let you know, you should stop dyeing your hair.

[Adel]

Wait, what?

[John Mackey]

You should stop dyeing your hair. It's the only thing I can pay attention to and I'm pretty far away. So the fact that I can notice that says a lot about how damaged your hair is.

[Adel]

So I just, what, changed my name to Top Drop the carrot?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. And we cut to his wedding. John. I never thought we would be standing here today. I thought we would be in the emergency room with our hamster. Classic couple inside joke. Why aren't you laughing?

[JPC]

The hell's wrong with that boy? He's not laughing at all. At the classic inside joke.

[Adel]

Why don't you laugh? That's a good joke.

[Aaron Keefe]

These are my vows. You're gonna laugh.

[John Mackey]

I know.

[Adel]

Hey, I'm.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's A classic inside joke because we have to go to the emergency room with our hamster, like, all the time.

[John Mackey]

The hamster thing is. I love that we say that to

[Aaron Keefe]

each other, then laugh.

[John Mackey]

I don't want to. I don't want to do this in front of everybody, but.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you about to say?

[John Mackey]

I can't laugh.

[Aaron Keefe]

How do you move? Why are you looking at my hair?

[John Mackey]

Have you. I just. It's. It's distracting. I don't want to say anything.

[Aaron Keefe]

Say it.

[Adel]

We cut to the curtain bow of a Book of Mormon reunion, and Josh Gad is stepping forward to address John James. You got it?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Let's think.

[John Mackey]

Can I. Gad. Gad.

[JPC]

Gad. Yeah, I got it.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

I got it.

[JPC]

Oh, my God. Oh, thank you so much for coming to the show. I'm so honored.

[John Mackey]

I'm honored. And let me tell you something, Mr. Gad, your hair is disgusting.

[Aaron Keefe]

Scene.

[JPC]

He left. He finally left. He finally left.

[Aaron Keefe]

We got him, boys.

[JPC]

He's fixed. We got him. We got him. Move in. We.

[John Mackey]

We got him.

[Adel]

I have multiple stitches, but I've never been to a hospital. I've been hit thousands of times, but it doesn't hurt. That's a baseball. What the fuck?

[John Mackey]

I'm a genius.

[Aaron Keefe]

Holy shit.

[John Mackey]

Things have changed in my world, guys. I'm an asshole now.

[Adel]

You have three riddles, right? And you have the total ability to just turn into an asshole. Have. Did you. You're six. Eight.

[John Mackey]

Six, nine. I wish. Six, Four.

[Adel]

Six, four. You feel like a six, eight after those riddles. Did you ever play baseball and basketball?

[John Mackey]

I played baseball as a first baseman. Terrified of hitting, though, for my whole. My whole career. Really scared of being at bat. The ball terrified me because, folks, the baseball's hard. I don't know if people realize it's a baseball. It's hard. It's hard. It hurts hard sport. If it hits you, it hurts. And when people are throwing it at you, it's scary. It's really scary. I almost had a broke my elbow by getting hit by a baseball.

[JPC]

Whoa, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Almost broke my elbow is not a story. Nobody. Nobody go, whoa. For an almost broke my elbow.

[Aaron Keefe]

But it sounds like you got hit really hard by a baseball in the elbow.

[JPC]

No, that's not what it sounds like. It sounds like nothing. So far, all I know is nothing happened.

[John Mackey]

I know.

[JPC]

I'll save my gasp for when he tells me he got hit with a baseball, which he has not said yet.

[John Mackey]

No, it did hit me. It hit me. Okay.

[JPC]

And then I'll go.

[John Mackey]

And I lost feeling in my forearm and hand for, like, 10 minutes.

[JPC]

You only have two arms. So now I know he's lying.

[John Mackey]

Wait, how does that. What do you mean? How does that make me lying?

[JPC]

You got. This guy has four arms. Somehow in this baseball ball hitting him story.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, right. Okay, okay.

[JPC]

Hey, John, I got a bridge to sell and I'll buy me.

[John Mackey]

I buy your bridge. How much?

[JPC]

John, I gotta tell you, this thing's an absolute fucking stinker. You don't have to do it, but you'd be doing a huge favor.

[John Mackey]

No, I'll buy your bridge. How much?

[JPC]

Oh, my God.

[John Mackey]

A hundred thousand?

[JPC]

Is that too little.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thousand?

[John Mackey]

If you have it, it's yours. I mean, it's mine. It's mine.

[JPC]

What?

[John Mackey]

He's. He's taking my bridge? Yeah. I've always wanted a bridge, actually.

[JPC]

Okay, so you got hit. Was it. Was this in, like, a Little League game?

[John Mackey]

No, it was in a high school prac. Baseball practice, actually. But it's. It's related to. There was, like, very bad hazing on my baseball team.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no.

[John Mackey]

And I got beat to hell one year, one time. And I didn't tell anybody, but my brother went and reported it to, like, the administrators. And every person who participated got suspended and therefore had to, like, sit out, like, three games. And then the first practice that they were back, this one kid, Chase Spruill, who was like.

[Adel]

Chase Spruill?

[John Mackey]

Yeah, Chase Spruill.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

He.

[John Mackey]

We were doing batting practice, and he was pitching. Batting practice. It's. It's real. Let me tell you, it's real.

[Adel]

My heckles. Like, the minute you said that name, I was like, fucking Chase?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. That's insane.

[JPC]

That name is so mean.

[John Mackey]

He's mean. He's terrible. He. But he was pitching for batting practice, which it's not normally how we did things. Normally, a coach would do it, and they would do it real, like, sort of, like, easy. And he was throwing to me, and he threw absolutely as hard as he could directly at me. And it hit me right on the point of my left elbow. And, like, the sound people. My friend Matt was, like, just outside, not even near the field. He wasn't on the team. He was just outside. And he heard the sound that the ball made when it hit my elbow. And then I lost feeling in my hand and forearm for a long time. And it was like. I thought it was, like, fucked. And my elbow swelled to, like, the size of, like, a grapefruit. And, like, there's.

[Aaron Keefe]

This wasn't a story. This isn't a story. Is that your still your reaction to this?

[JPC]

Are you the kind of guy who wants to. I have the information. Do you want to hear the information? I have googled Chase Spruel obituary. Now would you like to know or would you not like to know the.

[Aaron Keefe]

All of a sudden you're the research guy. All of a sudden when something like this tops. You're willing to.

[JPC]

It's important to me. It's. Aaron, it's important to me. This guy's dead.

[John Mackey]

Okay? John, I'm not.

[JPC]

Don't.

[John Mackey]

This is not a call to violence.

[JPC]

It's important to me that Chase Brule is in the ground. Okay.

[John Mackey]

It might be the same Chase Brule, jpc.

[JPC]

It's a session rap on Chase Sproul. That's what separate. Coming out of the GPC camp.

[Adel]

Keep in mind he could have died and just nobody wrote an obituary for him.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's right.

[Adel]

Because he's such a piece of shit.

[JPC]

They could have said dust to dust, dirt to dirt. Chase Spruill, you're down.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do we want to do this to John? That he's someone who said this is a terrible person who did terrible things and he's talking ill of the dead. Are we going to do that to our friend John Mackey?

[John Mackey]

I'll say this, and this is going to sound terrible. I wouldn't care if he was dead.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[John Mackey]

Okay.

[Adel]

And this is into a microphone at Chase's funeral.

[Aaron Keefe]

And this is. And I will say Chase's cousin is our number one biggest fan and supporter. So we're kind of rules.

[John Mackey]

Do you guys have in your list of mostly Spruels?

[JPC]

How big's our Spruels? All the way down.

[John Mackey]

Never mind then.

[JPC]

No, I. I couldn't. I don't know how to spell his last name, but I. I didn't find any Chase Bruls who had died.

[John Mackey]

So here in the clear. Yeah, I don't think. I don't think he's dead.

[Adel]

So your elbow swelled up to the size of a grapefruit?

[John Mackey]

Yeah, it was really bad. I was terrified. I thought I was going to lose my arm. Even though that's crazy to think. But it was so scary. It hurts so bad too.

[Adel]

Now, Robbie. I assume it was your brother Robbie aforementioned. Wait, he's the one. Thank you so much. Greg and Robbie are at the forefront of my brain. He's the one who told the school about you being hazed after that thing. Did Robbie visit the school again? Did Robbie give a little visit to Chase Sproul?

[John Mackey]

No.

[Adel]

No, he dropped It.

[JPC]

Robbie was done fighting your battles at that point.

[John Mackey]

It seemed at that point, he was over it. He had done his job and he had walked away. Yeah.

[Adel]

He made you a bigger target, and then he retired.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[John Mackey]

I don't know what happened then. Spruill did that.

[JPC]

Fuck me.

[John Mackey]

I am not getting involved. Yeah, good luck, Johnny boy. I'm staying in college.

[Adel]

Is Robbie as tall as you?

[John Mackey]

He's not. He's only 6ft. He's only 6ft. So he's a little tall.

[Aaron Keefe]

Better luck next time, Robbie.

[John Mackey]

Yeah, exactly. Next time through, you might get a couple more inches, buddy. But he owns a house and has a beautiful family, so he's beating me in a lot of other ways. Okay, yeah,

[Adel]

let's do another riddle here. I can be open or closed, but I'm not a door. I can be empty and I can be full. I can be twisted and I can be dirty. Everyone has one, but not everyone uses it. What am I?

[John Mackey]

Trash bag.

[Adel]

I'm a trash bag.

[JPC]

The part about being twisted?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that's.

[Adel]

I can be twisted and I can be dirty.

[JPC]

Oh, tea.

[John Mackey]

Low T. Give me empty and full tea.

[Adel]

I can be open.

[JPC]

I'd say your tea's not a door.

[Adel]

I can be empty, I can be full. I can be twisted and I can be dirty. Everyone has one, but not everyone uses it. And that's probably the biggest clue is everyone has one, but not everyone uses it. And that's the last part. Not everyone uses it. That's not necessarily true, but it's something we might say in terms of

[JPC]

our

[Adel]

affiliations or whatever that might be.

[JPC]

Is it a cock?

[Adel]

It's a cock,

[JPC]

yeah.

[Adel]

You've ever heard of a twisted cock or dirty cock?

[JPC]

Yeah, I'd love to give a Chase Spruill a twisted cock, if you know what I'm saying.

[Aaron Keefe]

What does that mean?

[JPC]

Line up on top and twist. You know what I'm saying? Really? Really. Fuck him up.

[Adel]

You're riding him.

[Aaron Keefe]

Habern Oliver is so good at making me the opposite of horn. You got. Every time I come here, it just completely.

[JPC]

Aaron. I pretend like I'm gonna fuck him. I lull him into a sense of security. He thinks he's taking a ride of his life. I'm like, John.

[Adel]

It's like a BugsBuddy. You know, when Bugs Bunny puts on a dress, lures Elmer Fudd to him and then cuts his head off?

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Fine.

[Aaron Keefe]

I will seduce Chase Sproul, but I can't promise that he won't fall in love with me and I won't ruin his life, which I guess is why I'm doing it in the first place.

[John Mackey]

I would love that. Also,

[JPC]

Aaron's been fucking chased Brul for four days, and she's like, why am I doing this again? I totally have lost the plot.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's kind of boring. What is that? Oh, right. I'm supposed to destroy him. Got it, got it, got it.

[JPC]

I got to cut his head off. Oh, yeah.

[Adel]

Four years later, Aaron's holding two babies and she's like, what am I doing again? Oh, yeah. At some point, I have to leave. Chase rule. I can be open or closed, but I'm not a door. I can be empty, I can be full. I can be twisted and I can be dirty. Aaron, you're thinking along the right lines. A little higher.

[Aaron Keefe]

Teeth.

[JPC]

What's high? What's your goddamn teeth?

[Adel]

Nose a little higher. Eyes, little higher. A little further back A little lower.

[JPC]

Between nose and eyes.

[Adel]

Bridge of nose higher than. Higher or behind? Lower than hair.

[Aaron Keefe]

Brain.

[John Mackey]

The way that we do riddles now is that we do, like, hot and cold. Yeah, we play hot or cold.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was the most confus moment of life. What's there? I don't think I have whatever body

[Adel]

part you're describing, Aaron, It's a mind.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, it's a mind.

[Adel]

A mind can be open or closed, but it's not a door. It can be empty or full. It can be twisted. It can be dirty. Everyone has one, but not everyone uses it.

[JPC]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Adel]

Mind.

[JPC]

Not everyone uses their mind. Is this just like social commentary?

[Adel]

That's what I'm saying. It's like.

[JPC]

Yeah, they're talking about.

[Adel]

You're talking.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, they're talking about.

[Adel]

You been talking about it. I do want to see a scene. Aaron, you are the host of a brand new British game show or quiz show called Twisted Minds. Jpc. And John, you are the first two contestants on Twisted Minds. And Aaron, clearly this was rushed through BBC2 and they didn't really have a full sort of plan in place.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great. Hello and welcome back to Twisted Minds. Hi, I'm Patricia Crumpet, your host. I'm here with two new contestants today. Please introduce yourselves and tell us one fun fact.

[John Mackey]

I'm Jamie. I like bread.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you, Jamie. I'm thrilled to have you here. And who's this?

[JPC]

Hi, I am Chase Sproule. I'm on vacation from America. I was found on the street and they asked me if I wanted to be on a British game show.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wonderful as always. The first round of Twisted Minds is a Question that I'm gonna ask. Let's see. First question is, would you kill a kid? Would you? Could you stomach. Oh, yes, Jamie.

[John Mackey]

My answer is generally no. Did that kid steal my sourdough? And if so, yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ah, yes. The ambiguous sort of playing both sides. And you could still have a twisted mind. What is this? I'm reading these cards and yes, Chase.

[JPC]

Yes, I would. And I don't know if it's too much to say. I have many times before. I am a goat butcher.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

I'm a goat butcher from America. So I have.

[Aaron Keefe]

And you've killed also human children.

[JPC]

No.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ah, you may not be a twisted mind.

[JPC]

What is this game?

[Aaron Keefe]

How many times have you thought about boobs today?

[John Mackey]

Yes, Jamie, at least 400. As long as those boobs are bun shaped. I love bread.

[Aaron Keefe]

And nothing from Chase. Oh, yes, Chase.

[JPC]

Yeah, 400 sounds about right for me as well.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I'm looking at my cameraman. I'm looking at my producer. What is the show shrugging? I'm not sure I'm asking.

[Adel]

Cameramen are making a sign across their neck. We're canceled.

[John Mackey]

We're canceled.

[Adel]

Why? The show's keep going, but we didn't get picked up.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, what's. What's. Yes.

[John Mackey]

Are you okay?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no. It's hard to think of questions this twisted. Ah. What's the most twisted question you could ask someone? That's round three. Yes, Jamie.

[John Mackey]

I would say pretzels.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right. That's all the time we have. It looks like nobody won anything and nothing has happen. Come back never to watch.

[John Mackey]

We had so much fun today. I did anyway. Me, Jamie, and if anyone would like, they could come to my Brad store.

[JPC]

Oh, my God. Someone just cut that guy's head off.

[Adel]

Morrissey comes out to sing the closing song. Twisted minds. These twisted minds.

[Aaron Keefe]

I snap his neck.

[Adel]

See, finally someone.

[JPC]

Finally, someone snapped. More as he snapped.

[Adel]

John Mackey, thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you so much for rocking these riddles.

[John Mackey]

Thank you so much for having me. You guys are such a delight.

[Adel]

One of the best efforts a guest has put forward. I think you got the first three or four. It was incredible.

[John Mackey]

I think. Yeah, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I started to think about how I didn't get a couple, and it made me sad.

[Adel]

You got most of it.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, you got to let it slide off your back because, you know it's just a riddle and they're meant to be annoying, but you got a lot.

[John Mackey]

Yeah. Thank you, Aaron.

[JPC]

A name can be anything. Let the riddle slide off your back. And your guitar solo can be any size. I think these are the big takeaways today, guys.

[Adel]

When you guys were buzzing in for the game show, it did sound exactly like the Sports Center. The old Sports Center. John Mackey. Anything you'd like to plug or promote upcoming?

[John Mackey]

I would like to promote a couple things. One, you can go to Big Grande website and get bunch of podcast stuff. We released a new thing a couple weeks ago. It's called Main Street Sounds. It's a bunch of fun little improv scenes set in and around the world of Hamilton, which is where our podcast the Teachers Lounge is set. And also for anybody who's in the uk, big news. Big Grande is coming to the uk. We're doing shows in Dublin, in Edinburgh, in London, potentially Glasgow. It's not fully locked yet. Yet, but we're going to be. We're going to be there in July. We'll be in Dublin on the 3rd, Edinburgh on the 10th, London on the 17th and 18th, and then Glasgow, some somewhere in between there. But you can go to biggroundywebs.com tour dates and you can see those dates and get tickets to those shows. We're very, very excited. I've never been here before. Yeah. So please come if you live there or if you don't and you want to just like go on vacation, come by. It'd be very, very fun.

[JPC]

And then you can also on vacation in Europe. I mean, this is a great. You can do all the things that Americans do in Europe. Like you can try to eat American fast food and be like, it's different here. And you can go see a Big Grande show.

[John Mackey]

You can go to McDonald's, get a big. A Big Mac and they call it

[JPC]

a Big Grande there, which is funny.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's funny.

[John Mackey]

That's what they call. It's interesting. But yeah, no, please come to those shows. And also you can listen to my. My other podcast, the Breathtamont show with Buddy, wherever you get podcasts. It's very fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

The most fun.

[John Mackey]

Yeah.

[Adel]

So good.

[John Mackey]

We love it. And I love this. I love you guys. You guys are so fun. Thank you for letting you come in and goof around.

[Aaron Keefe]

Please.

[Adel]

Anytime you'd like to plug or promote.

[JPC]

Wait, what?

[Adel]

Aaron, anything you'd like to plug or promote?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, just check out Teacher's Lounge if you haven't listened to it. One of the best comedy podcasts of all time. So that's my plug Plug Adel. Anything to plug.

[Adel]

Same Big Grande, one of my favorite improv groups of all time. And I will Say to our folks across the pond, having loved their podcasts and then seeing them live when they came to Chicago a few years ago. So high energy, so playful. You can't help but like smile and laugh the whole way through. So just. Just to see their onstage physicality and dynamic is really impressive. Could not recommend it more highly if you have a chance to go see them when they're on their tour. Jpc. Anything to plug or promote or review to read.

[JPC]

I'll say it if you know where Chase Sproul is or if you know him in life, we're not looking for violence. All we are looking for is. All we are looking for is an apology. He knows he did wrong. He's an adult now. He should own up to his mistakes. He should apologize to John Mackey. Let's get Jack Squirrel. Apologize to John Mackey. Trending on all the social media apps. I like that. All we again, all we want is a fucking apology.

[Adel]

Chase.

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like Chase is over there. I just know he's over there.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's it for me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hot dogs. Is that how we end the show now? Unless you want to play it.

[John Mackey]

I thought you were just plugging hot dogs, which, yeah, I love hot dogs.

[Aaron Keefe]

Have a hot dog at a baseball game this summer. Guys.

[John Mackey]

Guys. Summer.

[JPC]

Created by emily cardamus and emily nap. Hey there. Names and that tunes. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of the game that's not quite named that tune. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] heyriddlevirtle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was a Hitgum podcast.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Adel]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Welcome to Jackass the podcast, a new show. Coming to.

[JPC]

Coming to.

[Adel]

That's what it is.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Adel]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Welcome to Jackass the podcast, a new show now on Headgum.

[Adel]

I've learned a Jackass movie has to

[John Mackey]

be really 90 minutes.

[Adel]

Every minute over is a minute.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Apparently there's only so much butthole you can take. We're gonna take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits back. Bad behavior and even worse decisions.

[John Mackey]

All of it.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Sometimes we don't make the right decisions. Jeff.

[John Mackey]

I've noticed that every every so often

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

with guests like Spike Jones, I think

[Adel]

let's commit to Jackass the Podcast.

[JPC]

What was it gonna be called?

[John Mackey]

The Jackass Podcast Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Steve O.

[John Mackey]

There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup right this morning.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Chris Pontius, that shot of your butt

[John Mackey]

just cruising up, I'm like, yeah, I

[Adel]

got that on tv.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

God bless Dave England.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[John Mackey]

When you come in and you're being

[Adel]

really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's gonna happen to me.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Wee Man Jeff grabbed me from the

[John Mackey]

back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

to kill me and some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

[Adel]

I had to share a room with this guy, and I left a nice

[JPC]

surprise in the toilet for him every time.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.

[Adel]

Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

[Guest or Sponsor Voice]

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on on Instagram and TikTok@jackassthepodcast. What were we just talking about?

[John Mackey]

Probably buttholes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Adel]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan.

[John Mackey]

And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[Aaron Keefe]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us. That's right. We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Adel]

Yeah. Are we gonna cry?

[John Mackey]

Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[JPC]

A whole lot.

[Adel]

That's what I'm hoping, man.

[John Mackey]

Listen to.

[Adel]

That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.

[John Mackey]

Ahora mascolos. Ye vacada projekto alciente. Ahora quince porciento nuna selection de puertas entradas interiores Personalisation.