#416: Misty Vistas, Whiskey Mixers, Mr. Whiskers

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle #416: Misty Vistas, Whiskey Mixers, Mr. Whiskers

Release Date: July 8, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Podcast Description: Three Chicago improv comedians romp through riddles, puzzles, tangents, and bizarre bits—riddles optional.

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Episode Overview

This episode spotlights the trio’s warm-up rituals, backstage improv lore, pre-show quirks, and life as perpetually side-tracked improvisers. There’s a recurring confusion over silly “passing games,” an extended riff on “the Nate rate,” and plenty of improv scenes—most notably, southern polar bears and body organs personified. The group works through inventive listener riddles (including car-themed puzzles and “hink pinks”), and they close with advice for life after the endorphin rush of performing.

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Key Discussions & Insights

Improv Rituals, Warm-Ups & Pre-Show Energy

00:37–13:00

• The episode opens mid-chaos, with JPC teaching Erin a convoluted improv passing game: “If you pass to the right, you say Whiskey Mixers. If you pass to the left, you say Misty Vistas. And if you pass across the circle, you say Mr. Whiskers.” (JPC, 01:14)
• The group discusses whether improv warmups really help, with Adal favoring just “shooting the shit” as a warm-up (05:04), and Erin defending the grapefruit as a mouth-waker.
• Anecdotes on bizarre pre-show rituals—balanced cocktails, throat punches (allegedly, Bret Lyons gets an uppercut), and “free” IO coffee that tasted questionable. “More like fludgers… That shit was nasty.” (Adol, 06:54)
• Discussion of the adrenaline of performing, especially when sick, tired, or even enduring food poisoning. Improv as a kind of “show must go on” culture.
• Feeling “off” before a show: head colds, running late, or worrying about castmates’ moods can knock a performer off their game. (JPC, 11:34; Adol, 12:17)
• Notable riff: What if horsepower was “bear power” or “gorilla power”? “We found more powerful animals, Eren... This should be bear power!” (Adol, 14:23)

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Improv Scenes & Tangents:

15:00–22:00

• The hosts play out an “AMC prestige TV drama” about two southern polar bears. It’s a gently absurd, meandering improv that escalates: “Are you a penguin? Then I simply must eat you.” (Adol, 15:20)
• JPC riffs on “the Nate rate”—a joke discount inspired by comedian Nate Bargatze and marketing stunts for his 2026 movie, "The Breadwinner." They mock the idea of showing up at venues and demanding the Nate rate and lampoon the broad promotion of “the Nate rate” for Patreon subs, groceries, and more (19:14–22:10).

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Film Tangents & Pop Culture (Disclosure Day, Breadwinner, Love Island)

18:00–22:00 / 53:54–57:47

• The Breadwinner’s marketing (and Bargatze’s career) draw much sarcastic commentary. “It looks like a series of Pine Sol ads.” (Adol, 19:01)
• Brief, spoiler-free breakdown of "Disclosure Day" and a riff on why characters should speak in their native accent, not forced American ones. (Aaron, 21:18)
• At the end, the hosts riff on "Love Island"—specifically the gap between what models think is weird (cartwheels on the beach) versus their own (pee drinking jokes). “Everyone has a different baseline for weird… We drink our own pee.” (JPC, 58:27)

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Listener Riddles: Car Models as Puns

24:20–32:00

• Listener Sean K. sends in “car make and model riddles”—puzzles where puns point to car names.
• Examples:
  • “A police horse goes wild and leaves the squad just to cross a river.” → Ford Mustang (25:26)
  • “The sports coat of a famously unlikable S and M alumni.” → Chevy Blazer (25:39)
  • “Gambit's love interest’s leg joint cut off by a Rosy-cheeked movie puppet.” → Nissan Rogue (25:55)
  • “Green Star Wars doll leaves things behind to build a life near Puget Sound.” → Toyota Tacoma ("Lego toy Yoda," 27:09)
  • “Identity of a famous missing airplane hijacker reveals he's a small little guy.” → Mini Cooper (27:36)
• Scenes erupt from these clues, including an Italian Job–style heist at an Italian restaurant with Adol as the crooked host (“What are you doing? We needed that $40!” 29:27).

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Hink Pink Riddles

39:35–63:20

• Hink Pinks: short rhyming word puzzles from Sean K. The answers are two one-syllable rhyming words.
  • “A cucumber preserved in brine that is always changing its mind.” → Fickle Pickle (40:56)
  • “Fifth month plus 24 hours equals a call for help.” → Mayday (41:04)
  • “Colorful latex coating has dulled over time.” → Faint Paint (43:39)
  • “The worst brother-in-law known for excessive whining.” → Bitch Mitch (49:44)
  • “Imaginary magical friend dizzy from spinning.” → Dizzy Wizzy (59:05)
  • Others: Handy Sandy (wise puzzle writer); Planet Janet (avatar-themed riddle)
• Many of these riddles spawn improv tangents; e.g. JPC plays “Wizzy,” Aaron’s imaginary wizard friend, giving an imaginary cocaine send-off before her wedding (59:37).
• Notable improv: The hosts play out organs as sentient characters inside a body (“I’m just totally, completely filled with pee, so I couldn’t make it.” – Aaron as the bladder, 46:03).

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Listener Mail: Post-Performance Letdown

65:06–67:55

• A listener asks: “How do you deal with the crash after the high of performing?” (65:14)
  • Erin suggests post-show socializing or comforting solo rituals (tea & TV), and warns against relying on substances.
  • “Try to socialize after. Not getting into a routine that requires any sort of substance is a gift you can give yourself.” (Aaron, 65:31)
  • Adol mock-advises you “pretend it never happened.”
  • JPC parodies the idea: “Life is just another stage; never turn it off, like a shark!” (67:14)
  • Everyone jokes: above all, “pay the Nate rate.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The bomb will explode in 27 seconds. If we could just complete one round, the bomb defuses.” (Adol, 01:43)
• “World News Tonight did a residency in Des Moines... Arnie Niekamp and I split a sauerkraut pizza. We got violently ill... But when they said ‘three minutes to the second act,’ we popped back up.” (Adol, 08:49)
• “We found more powerful animals, Eren. You should be saying, ‘This has bear power!’” (Adol, 14:23)
• “Remember the cup there was Swanell? ... The brand was Swanell.” (Adol, 07:01)
• “Are you a penguin? Well, then I simply must eat you. Delectable.” (Adol, 15:20)
• “You’re a white man, you’ve been paying the Nate rate your entire life.” (Aaron, 19:46)
• “I'm so weird, I do cartwheels on the beach.” (Love Island riff, 57:47)
• “Everyone has a different baseline for weird... we drink our own pee.” (JPC, 58:27)
• On the body-organs scene: “You know we're dying, right? If I'm filled with pee, that means you're fucked too.” (Aaron, 46:43)
• “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we didn’t force everyone to use American accents?” (Aaron, 21:18)
• “Try to socialize after [performances]… not getting into a routine that requires any sort of substance is a gift you can give yourself.” (Aaron, 65:31)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:37 – Improv warmup shenanigans and rituals
• 05:04 – Adol’s case for “just talking” as the best warm-up
• 14:23 – “Bear power” riff
• 15:00 – Southern polar bear improv scene
• 18:00 – “Nate rate” movie and discount jokes
• 24:20–32:00 – Listener car make/model riddles
• 39:35–63:20 – Hink pink riddles and associated improv tangents
• 65:06–67:55 – Listener mail: handling post-performance crash
• 68:04+ – Plugs, reviews, wrap-up

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Tone and Style

• Language: Irreverent, quick-witted, chaotic, and friendly.
• Vibe: Riff-heavy; riddles used as launching pads for bits more than their actual solutions.
• Humor: Self-aware, self-deprecating, with plenty of in-jokes and callbacks, e.g., the “Nate rate” and “drinking pee” running gags.

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Summary

This episode is a playful tangle of improv humor, backstage confessions, listener riddles, and extended riffs. Riddles serve as platforms for longer scene work, emerging bits (Nate rate, “bear power”), and affectionate jabbing. For improv and comedy fans, it’s quintessential Hey Riddle Riddle: more about the ride than the puzzles themselves.

Transcript

[Aaron]

This is a Headgun podcast. Grainger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail. Filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-Grainger click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[JPC]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice ray and the horse's name. Right. So, Aaron, the way that you play the game is if you pass to the right, you say Whiskey Mixers.

[Aaron]

Okay?

[JPC]

If you pass to the left, you say Misty Vistas. And if you pass across the circle, you say Mr. Whiskers.

[Aaron]

No, you hold on. Misty Vistas is to the right. Whiskey Mixers is to the left.

[JPC]

It's to the left.

[Adol]

Mr. Whiskers is across the circle.

[Aaron]

Did I start with Mr. Whiskers, though? What did I say first? I'm not doing a bit.

[JPC]

I think you also did. Left and right were different from what I said was left and right. But it actually doesn't matter which one is which. You just have to pick one and commit to it.

[Adol]

The bomb will explode in 27 seconds. If we could just complete one round, the bomb defuses.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Aaron]

Adol. That's basically 30 seconds. We got all the time in the world.

[Adol]

27 seconds is not basically 30 seconds.

[Aaron]

Do you know that 30 seconds is half of a minute now? Isn't that interesting?

[Adol]

Yes. No. No.

[JPC]

A minute isn't 60 seconds. It's 100. What are we talking about?

[Adol]

Eight seconds left.

[Aaron]

Okay. Whiskey miscarriage. Whiskey. See, I fell right into the flap.

[Adol]

No, it's not.

[Aaron]

I'm not in the out. I haven't even started.

[JPC]

You're out. You just said it wrong.

[Aaron]

No, you think you have a tennis ball.

[JPC]

Come on.

[Aaron]

No, you cannot. Kaboom. Kaboom.

[JPC]

That is how you play that game, right? You do get out, right? If you fuck up, you have to get out of the circle.

[Aaron]

You must.

[JPC]

Yes, you must get out of the circle.

[Aaron]

You must. All right, then. Let's do a different improv warmup.

[JPC]

Okay. What do you need? I got a big bag of improv warmups. Just tell me what you need and I'll give you the improv warmup that you need.

[Aaron]

Okay, this is a fun improv warmup. I'm going to tell you what I need and you're going to tell me the improv warmup that's going to fix this.

[JPC]

Got it.

[Aaron]

Okay. It feels like my brain is moving really slow and I'm gonna have a hard time pulling on specific, like, details or nouns.

[JPC]

Therapy, Zoloft.

[Aaron]

Come on. A popular improv warmup for a lot of improvisers.

[JPC]

As soon as zip zaps off, it's therapy, Zoloft, antipsychotic

[Aaron]

therapy, Zoloft, beer. Before a show.

[JPC]

I did, I knew improvisers that would, like, before they got on, they had like a, like a specific cocktail of, like, uppers and downers that they had to put into their body before they could. It was like, I need to do, like, I need to have a coffee 30 minutes before the show, and then before I go on stage, a shot and a beer. It's like, okay. Yeah.

[Adol]

Feels like those cancel each other out.

[JPC]

Well, you know, you don't get. It's all about the way that it hits your system. For when the improv show hits, I

[Aaron]

would have to professionals a highball energy drink and a half a grapefruit and then maybe a Tylenol.

[JPC]

Yep.

[Aaron]

Chug water, pee three to four times before the show.

[Adol]

Oh, my God, so much citric acid before a show.

[Aaron]

Is that a lot of grapefruit?

[Adol]

I mean, grapefruit destroys my stomach.

[Aaron]

Okay, well, you guys are the ones who had to do comedy with me in Chicago. So did. Did that show up, do you think? In my comment, how would I even.

[JPC]

I don't even know how I would go about eating a grapefruit. It's the thought. Yeah, I know. I mean, the thought of eating a grapefruit is so unappetizing to me. It's like someone being like, hey, would you eat three limes? I'm like, yeah, sure I could, but, like, I'm not gonna do that.

[Aaron]

Well, it would. Like, it wasn't like, I would have dinner before, like, I would go to three limes, three limes at Whole Foods. I'd go to Whole Foods and I would go and get. Make myself a perfect salad or I'd get tacos or whatever. But, like, if I'm in a green room at like the 30 minute mark, a grapefruit would, like, wake up my mouth and there's something bright, like, brightening about it, but also bitter. Like, I don't know, it just would make me feel more present and Alert. But I. I would. I don't know how successful that was. I was pretty tired all the time.

[JPC]

Adol, did you have a favorite pre show ritual?

[Adol]

My only thing is. Here's the thing. I don't know if improv warmups ever helped me. To me, my favorite thing was what World News Tonight did, which is you just shoot the shit and do bits for 30 minutes before the show. And that always made me feel so much more connected in terms of like, oh, I know what Aaron got up to this week. I know that JPC's watching this thing. So it felt like that inspired some parts of the show or at least personalized bits for people or specificity versus doing a warmup where it's like just running around screaming or something, which I never felt helped me.

[JPC]

What about a food routine? Like food or drink? Was there like a. Was there like a beverage combo that would kind of situate you into doing a show?

[Aaron]

I do remember Adol would have a shot of whiskey and punch Bret Lyons right in the throat before every show just to sort of get ready.

[JPC]

It was an uppercut and it would send Brett, like into a different level. Like suddenly they'd be like Shaolin Temple that he'd uppercut him and he'd be like the Ice Domain.

[Adol]

There'd be a raucous cr. Goro was there. I want to say Goro was there

[JPC]

more often than not.

[Aaron]

More often than not.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Then Goro got mainstage and we stopped seeing Goro. Goro stopped showing up for the show. It's like deservedly.

[Adol]

Deservedly.

[Aaron]

No, but like, they come back when they could, you know, we're not like, we're not doxxing them.

[Adol]

The bit where Gora puts on four puppets.

[JPC]

Oh, my God.

[Adol]

Is so. And it's almost like a who's on first? But with four puppets. It's unbelievable.

[Aaron]

So Adol, you'd have a coffee.

[Adol]

I'd have a hot coffee. With Gora,

[JPC]

I liked the hot coffee before show, but also if it was like a show at IO, part of it for me was that the hot coffee was always free. And I was like, oh, a free coffee is like a. Even if it's like, what do they use, like Folgers there? Even if it's just like bad coffee.

[Adol]

Fludgers. More like Fludgers. Remember the Coke?

[JPC]

And I know what that means.

[Adol]

The cup there was Swanell. So it'd be like, do you want Coke or Pepsi? And it was. The brand was Swannell.

[Aaron]

I didn't know that. Is that why the Coke And Diet Coke tasted so weird.

[Adol]

At IO it's clearly made in someone's bathtub. Like that. Is that. Oh, that shit was nasty.

[Aaron]

Also, their ginger ale had such a specific vibe zing to it. A zing. Zing is the only way to describe it, Erin.

[Adol]

It's because they dissolved spree inside of them.

[Aaron]

You know what? Sure.

[JPC]

And this is. Hey, riddle. Riddle.

[Aaron]

No, but what did you have before the show?

[Adol]

Yeah, what'd you have?

[JPC]

Coffee. I said a coffee. A free coffee.

[Aaron]

Is that it?

[JPC]

That's real?

[Aaron]

Yeah, but you didn't have to listen to a specific song or like touch your nose three times.

[JPC]

I listened to Walk Me Through It.

[Aaron]

So you'd sit up out of your coffin.

[JPC]

Yeah. I'd go, blah. I would listen to interesting. The goofy version of Evanescence is Wake me up and 100 times. And if I lost God, I had to start over. Yeah. And then I'd just jerk off and go out there and be the funniest guy anybody's ever seen. You know what I'm saying?

[Aaron]

Which is sort of a different kind of jerking off.

[JPC]

No, I remember. And I had been doing improv long enough that I was doing improv when I was like 14 years old. And I remember being in my friend Evan's car and after school we would all. Before, like a comedy sports match, we would go to Taco Bell and I would eat like four bean burritos and then I would just go and do a 90 minute improv show and be absolutely fine. It'd just be absolutely fine. And now like the thought, you know, if of eating like a little bit too much dinner two hours before an improv show. I'd be like, oh, I'm moving like, I'm moving like a. A slug just like all over the stage.

[Adol]

I think I've told you guys. But Worldness Tonight did a residency in Des moines for like 10 days or something. And Arnie Nikamp and I split a. I want to say it was a sauerkraut pizza. It was just we were the only two that ate it. We got violently ill to where we had to perform that night or the next day or something. Our stomachs were cramping. We were laying on the ground and like barfing and just really bad shape. But then when they said like three minutes till the second act, we popped back up. Performed as well. I mean as well as I guess I ever have flu, gang. And then got out of the show and immediately collapsed. So there's something about the adrenaline and the adrenaline.

[Aaron]

I was just about to say. And jpc. I am gonna do riddles. I have the eye on the ball, and I'm trying.

[JPC]

I have the eye on the ball.

[Aaron]

I have the eye of Sauron. Hold on. Glass eye.

[Adol]

Aaron's got a glass eye.

[Aaron]

I. And I'm not trying to blow smoke up your asses either.

[JPC]

Hey, if you wanted to blow a little, I wouldn't hate it.

[Aaron]

You would.

[JPC]

A thin stream of smoke on my ass. I'd hate that.

[Aaron]

Hot smoke.

[JPC]

Oh. Oh, yeah, Hot smoke. That's gonna be really uncomfortable for me. Yeah, right? You could have said cold smoke, and then maybe you have something there. He's getting really smoking hot smoke in my ass. A little bit of hot smoke in my ass. Aaron. I'm saying no to that. Do you want him into a crackers?

[Adol]

Do you guys take requests?

[Aaron]

Get out. Go spray him with a bottle. Go. Ah, ah, ah. Drop it. Go.

[JPC]

Drop it.

[Aaron]

I feel like I could wake you guys out of a deep slumber and drop you onto a improv stage and you would be fine. Like, I just. I was a very delicate person, and I needed the exact right circumstances and the exact. Oh, come on. I'm different this week.

[JPC]

Did something happen in the last hour that I don't know about? Aaron, your desk is in a different position. I should. I'm doing. You could be completely different.

[Aaron]

I feel great today. I did just swallow too much of my saliva just now, and now it's kind of stuck.

[JPC]

Yeah. Click, click, boom. Sorry. You said saliva. It's involuntary. It's involuntary. When someone says saliva, I have to say, click, click, boom.

[Aaron]

I'm thinking back in my time of Chicago with you guys, and maybe sometimes when you had, like, even if you guys had a really bad cold or were, like, hadn't slept because you had, like, a red eye or whatever, you guys could drop in and be, like, super high functioning. Do you feel like, is there anything that could. Like, what has ever taken you out? Because food poisoning couldn't take you down at all.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[JPC]

You know what fucks with me? And I just. First of all, I hate performing when I'm sick because. And I don't do this anymore. But when I was in my 20s, I would perform sometimes if I was like, oh, I'm, like, feeling a little sick. And then invariably I'd be sick for, like, way longer because I stressed myself out too much when I was sick. But performing with a head cold or when I'm on cold medicine, like, for a head cold, that is the worst. Because the brain. The brain fogginess of having, like, a sinus, you know, cold is not conducive to improvise. Like, people would say something, and it would be gone out of my head, like, one second after they said it. And I'm like, I'm still in this scene. I got no idea what the fuck is happening. Cause my brain is not working. Like, can't be doing that.

[Adol]

One thing that throws me off pretty hard is if I'm running late to something. So if I was to arrive at the theater two minutes before the show, and I'm scrambling to put on my suit or something and then rushing out on stage, I think the whole show in my head, I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm so sorry. Everyone's mad at me. Like, this sucks. This sucks. Like, why didn't I get here earlier? So I think that that really fucks with my sort of mindset. What about you, Erin?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I'd say similar to yours, obviously. Like, anytime you're, like, like, recovering from a sickness. I remember having several, like, being a nanny, you get some, like, little kid flus. And I remember, like, four or five days after the flu, and you still had that, like, muscle weakness. And doing a world news show that was, like, the most physical thing, where everyone was just being lifted in the air. And I was like, I'm gonna collapse. I'm gonna drop like a marionette doll. This is not gonna be good.

[Adol]

Erin. We each played a jump rope. It's your turn, sweetie. Why aren't you coming out?

[Aaron]

I'm just, like, sweating. I. Yeah. Also, I would have a hard time when there was any sort of personal thing happening. Like, if a friend who I'm on a team with came in and they seemed a little frazzled or sad or I know they're going through a hard time or whatever. And you're like, oh, we didn't have time to do a reset. And you're just kind of worried about people's feelings. That would throw me not knowing how everyone is on stage.

[JPC]

I was always so mad when people would come in and they would have, like. They'd be like, yeah, fucking horrible day. All right, let's get out there and do the show. I'm like, say horrible.

[Adol]

Just got divorced. Can we avoid scenes with couples?

[JPC]

Time to turn it on. Cause it's what the people demand. I'm like, nobody cares. Nobody cares if you're in this show. Absolutely nobody cares. Your parents aren't here. Go home.

[Aaron]

Go home. Your parents aren't here.

[Adol]

Go home. An IV cart, please. Sit this one out.

[Aaron]

We are all firing on all cylinders today. Even though, again, I don't feel warmed up.

[JPC]

Yeah. And I only have. It's a four cylinder, so it's not like a powerful. You know, they're working.

[Adol]

Hey, I got something to say. Oh, why are we still using horsepower? We found more powerful animals, Eren. We found more powerful animals.

[Aaron]

Looking behind me for another Eren that's in charge of anything.

[Adol]

Eren. You should be saying, this has bear power.

[JPC]

Gorilla power.

[Adol]

120. Gorilla power.

[Aaron]

Polar bear power.

[Adol]

Thank you. The only animal that likes hunting humans.

[Aaron]

I'm so glad you're on the branding team for polar bears.

[JPC]

Now, did you guys know that polar bear fur isn't white? It's white.

[Aaron]

Oh, come on. Shut up. And I hate to say shut up in an impromptu context.

[Adol]

Canonically speaking, all bears are from Charleston. Prove me wrong, Aaron. Prove me wrong.

[JPC]

I'm from so far south.

[Adol]

There's not a single.

[JPC]

This is how I speak. I'm a polar bear.

[Adol]

Excuse me. Excuse me. Are you a penguin? Are you a Pangon? Well, then I simply must eat you. Delectable. Delectable.

[JPC]

Oh, I couldn't eat another bite of penguin.

[Adol]

If I just had some sweet tea and some boiled peanuts, this would be a. This will be a smorgasbord in the gazebo.

[JPC]

Oh, a penguin etru fair.

[Adol]

Hey, Aaron.

[JPC]

Hey, Aaron.

[Aaron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adol]

Don't like art. Charles didn't draw polar bears.

[Aaron]

I'm not saying anything because I'm hoping they'll keep going. Did you see me step out of the way and say, the floor is yours, boys, please. Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[JPC]

Okay, I'd like to see. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, well, please. Yes.

[Aaron]

Okay, you guys are two polar bears from the south. This is a TV show that's coming to, like, AMC this fall, okay?

[Adol]

Oh, prestige.

[Aaron]

Yeah. And this is like sort of small town drama. Maybe there's something mysterious happening. But you guys are two southern polar bears, and the show's called Two Southern Polar Bears.

[Adol]

I woke up this morning to see a circle on the ceiling.

[JPC]

A circle on the ceiling.

[Adol]

The birds are back. Oh, Clive, the birds are back.

[JPC]

My good man, I apologize to you. That was a Coca Cola bottle that I had placed above the igloo that we live in. That was not a. That was not a boy's circle on the ceiling.

[Adol]

Okay, well, still doesn't explain the birds.

[JPC]

Oh, so there were birds.

[Adol]

Clive, the birds are back.

[JPC]

They're probably trying to get a drink of that sweet Coca Cola. That I had placed upon. Upon the ceiling of our igloo.

[Adol]

We swore ourselves to secrecy, that no one would learn about what we discovered in that cave.

[JPC]

Plus, we did a kind of like a Birk a bac Mountain situation as well. And that was also a sworn to secrecy.

[Adol]

Yes.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

Yes.

[Aaron]

Here are one of your wives.

[Adol]

Oh, how much did your heel picks up? A big blunt object.

[Aaron]

Can I smoke some of that as well?

[JPC]

Anne Hathaway, it is so good to see you here.

[Adol]

So good to see you.

[JPC]

Who was the other wife in Birkbeck Mountain? It was Anne Hathaway.

[Adol]

Michelle Williams.

[JPC]

Michelle Williams, Can I tell you something that I've been absolutely fucking obsessed with lately?

[Aaron]

But for the record, I tried to start riddles so I can you get points. Great.

[JPC]

I've been obsessed with this lately. Do you guys know who the comedian Nate Vargazzi is?

[Adol]

Yes.

[JPC]

So recently he's gotten a ton of flack because he's like a clean comedian, I guess. I don't know much about him, but I did know he went to the Trump UFC event. And then people are really mad at

[Aaron]

him for he did the classic I'm a widdle baby. And I didn't think it was political.

[JPC]

Yeah, not political. To go to the president, President Trump's birthday party. His, like, UFC birthday party.

[Adol]

It's a 50 celebration.

[Aaron]

In his defense, he is a widow baby. And how would he know he's a widdle baby.

[JPC]

But Adol we saw, I think, seeing maybe Mandalorian and Grogu in theaters, but all the previews for his movie, which has since come out and really flopped. The Breadwinner. But I didn't know that it was his studio produced that movie, which is why he's the star of it or whatever. But if you haven't people who haven't seen the breadwinner trailer, go and watch the breadwinner trailer. Cause it's like it feels like a Christian movie that should have been made like 25 years ago that happened to come out in 2026.

[Adol]

It looks like a series of Pine Sol ads. Yes. Or it's like, mom's gone. The house has gone to shit. Girls pick up a Pine Sol wipe.

[Aaron]

Pine sol ads from 2003. That's what it looks like.

[JPC]

He'd say the world has gone to crumbs or something like that. I think because he's family friendly. But before that movie even came out, they knew it was going to be such a flop that they started saying in the previews or in the trailer, ask about paying the Nate rate to see the movie, which is kind of the craziest concept I've ever heard, like the history of advertising. But I've been obsessed with the Nate rate. And I want to, like, I want to go everywhere I go. I want to ask if I could pay the Nate rate. I want to see how you do.

[Aaron]

You're a white man. You've been paying the Nate rate your entire life.

[JPC]

What if I could get an even deeper discount?

[Adol]

I want lap dance for $85, which is amazing.

[JPC]

They're like, your groceries come two minutes.

[Aaron]

She hates being there.

[JPC]

$116. And I'm like, yeah. Is there any way that I could pay the Nate rate on these groceries and just kind of skim, skim about

[Aaron]

8 bucks off course, sir.

[JPC]

Of course, sir.

[Aaron]

Here's the Nate rate. The Nate rate is so funny.

[Adol]

I am curious if you go to like an AMC ticket stall and you're like, can I have the Nathan rate? If they're like, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy.

[JPC]

You can't. No, no, no, no, no.

[Adol]

Say it.

[JPC]

Can I have the bar Gatsby bar discount? You have to call it the Nate rate. I also want to be like, hey, one for disclosure day. And can I get the Nate rate on that?

[Adol]

I get the Nate rate.

[JPC]

Feel, my God, I could have the Nate rate.

[Aaron]

Did you guys see Disclosure today?

[JPC]

No, I haven't seen it.

[Adol]

Oh, boy.

[JPC]

I won't go until I can pay the date rate.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I went alone and sat next to this like 23 year old guy next to me who had also gone alone. And we just were. I think we both were getting hit with the same moments of realization at the same time. And then we were laughing in unison for the rest of it. Cause I was like, what happened? What happened here?

[Adol]

Which sucks, because Arrival, I would say, is in my top 25 movies. And this felt like a kissing cousin to a rival.

[JPC]

Yeah, but a rival is Villeneur.

[Adol]

Villeneuve.

[JPC]

This is. This is Spielberg.

[Aaron]

You know the one thing that's not spoilery that I'll say, oh, my God, I can't believe we're this far. And I'm sorry. The one thing I will say is I think that people are so much more warm and earthy and charming when they get to speak in their true accent.

[Adol]

Aaron. I couldn't agree more.

[Aaron]

I know.

[JPC]

I definitely agree with that. Aaron. I definitely agree with that.

[Aaron]

Everyone go back to your normal voices. Because three of the leads of Disclosure day are doing American accents. When, like, one is Irish and two are British. And I'm like, I just think just let them talk in their regular voices. Anyways, we are going to do some riddles. We're going to do as many as we can before break. We have to. This is good. The blood will be on my hands.

[JPC]

I want to start, Aaron, but I agree that we've been fucking around way too much this episode. So can I just say to anyone who is listening to this episode and you are mad that we didn't get to things fast enough. You can pay the Nate rate for this one. This one is not gonna be a full price episode. You get the Nate rate on this, we give it to you.

[Adol]

Go to google.com, type in Nate rate parentheses.

[Aaron]

Hey, Riddle.

[Adol]

Riddle plus Nate rate is so plus Southern polar bears. When you.

[JPC]

Anybody who subs to the Patreon. Anyone who subs to our Patreon in the next week gets the Bargazi discount and the date rate. You get both. I'm gonna stack both of them. So that'll be. So it'll total. It'll be $5 a month.

[Aaron]

Adel, can you remind people what that is? Is it that you get to learn that women are people by the end of the movie and that moms work hard?

[Adol]

That's exactly right. And one special person will get a. What we call a golden ticket, which is. They will see that for bargazi. Bar Grazzi.

[JPC]

Of course.

[Adol]

Grazzi. Italian for free.

[JPC]

Free. Hey. Hey, guys. I think we should. I think we should do the breadwinner for review crew. I really. I really think that we should. I think we should do it.

[Aaron]

I know that being a mom is hard.

[JPC]

I think it's too hot.

[Aaron]

Aaron, What I believe.

[Adol]

Aaron, what aren't you telling us?

[Aaron]

I get it.

[JPC]

It's not about. It's not that being a mom is hard. Aaron. That's not what the movie's about.

[Aaron]

Being a parent is hard.

[JPC]

No, it's about how being a dad is hard. Specifically because mobs are like taught all that stuff.

[Aaron]

Dear Clue crew at the 2025 Denver Live Show, I told JPC I wrote a bunch of riddles for you guys. He said you desperately need them. So obviously I sat on these for several months before sending them to you.

[JPC]

Nice.

[Aaron]

Also, shout out to his friend Connor for getting him into the show. Connor with two n's, by the way.

[JPC]

What do you mean getting him in? He bought a ticket, right? Yeah, I think he bought a fucking ticket, right?

[Aaron]

He got the. It's saying here he got the nate rate in 2025.

[Adol]

He got the Nate coat, big old basketball on top of a stroller.

[Aaron]

Okay. He says, thanks for the laughs. Sean K. From Fort Collins, Colorado. And he is a patron. So he's not paying the Nate rate. He's paying the real. The real deal.

[JPC]

Nothing wrong with paying the Nate rate

[Adol]

if it's offered the Aaron Farren.

[Aaron]

The Aaron Farron. Okay, so we are gonna do, I think some of Sean's riddles this time and we'll come back to more later

[JPC]

because there's at only 5% off.

[Adol]

I like it.

[JPC]

Yeah. Kind of hard. Yeah.

[Aaron]

In this game, I will JP Free.

[Adol]

Jp.

[JPC]

Oh, hold on. No, hold on now.

[Adol]

JP Coupon.

[JPC]

There we go.

[Aaron]

In this game, I'll give you a weird sentence that should clue you into a car make and model. Okay. I know Aaron and Adel aren't experts on car names, so I hope they're easy enough that you can get them by free. Get them by free associating and using your mad gab skills.

[JPC]

Wait, did Sean say that? You guys.

[Adol]

I got my GED in gmc.

[JPC]

You guys weren't good at car names, but I was left out of that.

[Adol]

What the fuck?

[Aaron]

As I think he assumed that you would be the one rating that I've earned.

[Adol]

You're an Indianapolis boy, so you know all the cars.

[JPC]

Motorsports.

[Adol]

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.

[Aaron]

No, but I think Adol and I have also declared that we don't know much about cars on the show.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

A police horse goes wild and leaves the squad just to cross a river.

[Adol]

Mustang. Mustang Bridge.

[JPC]

Ford Mustang.

[Aaron]

Yep. The sports coat of a famously unlikable S and M alumni.

[JPC]

Chevy Chase. Chevy Blazer. Blazer.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Gambit's love interests her leg. Gets her leg joint cut off by a spooky rosy cheeked movie puppet.

[Adol]

Rose is rogue saw, isn't it?

[JPC]

Nissan Rogue.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Nissa. Nissa. Nissa. Nissa. Rogue. I'm like, where does Nissan fit in?

[Adol]

I truly was like, I know it's a Nissan, but this is something completely different.

[JPC]

Nissan. I got it.

[Aaron]

An incident at an Australian pub leads to a jumping marsupial filing a lawsuit.

[Adol]

The Subaru Brawl. The Subaru bar brawl.

[Aaron]

Subaru Outback. Yes.

[JPC]

Subaru Outback.

[Aaron]

Taking a page out of Frasier. A green Star wars doll leaves things behind to build a life near Puget Sound.

[JPC]

This is a ninjut Grogu.

[Aaron]

Come on.

[Adol]

Can you read again?

[Aaron]

Yes. Taking a page out of Frasier.

[JPC]

Frasier.

[Adol]

The Volkswagen Scrambled eggs.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God. A green Star wars doll leaves things behind to build a life near Puget Sound.

[JPC]

What is the taking A Pidge out of Frasier.

[Adol]

Tacoma. Who makes Tacoma? That's.

[JPC]

What.

[Aaron]

Is a dollar a doll or, like a car or, like, blocks?

[JPC]

Lego toy. Yoda.

[Adol]

Toyota Tacoma. Wow. These are fun.

[JPC]

Okay, so Tacoma. Is that where Frasier is from?

[Aaron]

Yep.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Or I guess just in that area.

[JPC]

Just Washington or he's from SeaTac.

[Aaron]

Yeah. The identity of a famous missing airplane hijacker reveals he's a small little guy.

[Adol]

The DB Cooper.

[Aaron]

You got part of it.

[JPC]

All right.

[Adol]

The Volkswagen DB Cooper.

[Aaron]

The Cooper's, right.

[JPC]

Mini Cooper.

[Adol]

Mini Cooper from that movie with Jason Statham or something?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Adol]

Italian Job.

[JPC]

Italian Job. That's the one where. Oh, God. Who's the nerd in that movie who has the stereo that can blow women's clothes off?

[Adol]

Seth Green.

[JPC]

Seth Green. That's right. Seth Green.

[Adol]

I feel like after that movie, everyone was like, I gotta get my nasty little fingers on a Mini Cooper. I do wanna see.

[JPC]

People love that. Yeah.

[Adol]

Aaron and jpc, you are two well lauded and regarded crooks, and you have concocted an Italian Job in which you will infiltrate and rob an Italian restaurant. And this is you two entering the restaurant doors.

[Aaron]

All right. Is the plan clear to you?

[JPC]

Absolutely. Are you ready to do this?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[JPC]

Puts on mask all right, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, please.

[Aaron]

Table for two, please. Okay, we're not on the same page.

[JPC]

I'm sorry, what?

[Adol]

Okay, hold on.

[JPC]

Shoot oh, Shoot a.

[Aaron]

Shoot a. Shoot oh.

[Adol]

H o t e. No. Yes.

[JPC]

H o a s. H o o

[Aaron]

t. We're sort of in between plans here.

[Adol]

Okay. We have you by the window. Is that okay?

[Aaron]

It's you by the window. Can you put us by the kitchen

[JPC]

as close to the kitchen as possible or.

[Adol]

Absolutely. I'll be way in the back here. Let's make our bed.

[Aaron]

You're just gonna keep your mask on.

[Adol]

I guess you wanna hear about our specials.

[JPC]

Not from you. From a waiter. I won't hear from a host about specials

[Aaron]

by. Hey, thanks for your help. Hand to $40.

[Adol]

Oh, $40.

[JPC]

What are you doing? What are you doing? We needed that.

[Aaron]

We got to remember to steal that back on our way out.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's the. That's. That's our driver's cut.

[Aaron]

I know, but she seemed. We hurt her feelings.

[JPC]

I know, but our driver's not gonna drive us if we don't have $40. It's a cash Uber. Okay. Okay, okay, Okay.

[Aaron]

I feel like we're not on the same page. Let's stick to the plan.

[JPC]

The plan that we rehearsed. Okay.

[Aaron]

No, I thought we Were gonna go with the plan that we talked about in the car.

[Adol]

Wow.

[JPC]

Wait, wait, which time? In the car?

[Aaron]

On the way he. Oh, okay.

[JPC]

That. On the way here was the plan. I thought you were telling me about a dream you had.

[Aaron]

No, I said let's go in, let's sit, let's have a nice meal.

[JPC]

Yeah, but you said that it was. Was like. It was. Looked like the restaurant but not the restaurant.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I figured because we hadn't been here in a while.

[JPC]

Because we hadn't been here in a while.

[Aaron]

Okay. Oh, what was it? Okay, let's do it. Let's get up. We're gonna. All right, we're gonna stand up from our seats. All right, fine. I just wanted to have a little bit of a bread basket. We'll go to the front. Hey everybody, we're about to rob you.

[JPC]

We're here for the restaurant's meatballs, not your meatballs.

[Adol]

Woo.

[Aaron]

Okay. They think we're performing.

[JPC]

Oh man. Okay. Yeah. It looks like at 6:15 there's a. There's a timer. It says we're on a stage. It looks like at 6:15 somebody comes out and does an act of some sort. This is not part of tonight's entertainment. I think it's great. I think that we have real hand saws. Okay. We're dangerous people.

[Aaron]

Handsaw. I thought you see. No.

[JPC]

Oh, you. You wanted me to. You wanted me to bring sawed off shotguns. I just brought the saw part. I thought we were going to make our own shotguns here from at the restaurant.

[Aaron]

This has been so expensive.

[JPC]

This is so expensive.

[Aaron]

We're bleeding money. Italian restaurants don't. They're not like cash rich. What do we think we're going to get out of here?

[JPC]

Meatballs. That's the whole thing.

[Aaron]

I thought that was another way of saying money. I thought that's how Italian people said money.

[JPC]

Oh, wow. When I get home, I'm gonna look up if I'm Italian. I'm gonna look up if I'm Italian.

[Aaron]

It's not offensive.

[JPC]

And it might be really offensive to you.

[Aaron]

No, that's probably a common colloquialism.

[Adol]

See? Ooh, our mail. Our inbox is gonna get flooded.

[Aaron]

Sorry.

[JPC]

Do not mail us meatballs. Do not mail us meatballs.

[Aaron]

Let's go on a break. We'll be back in a couple minutes.

[Adol]

Scoozy in episode 415 Erin Nakiv Run.

[Aaron]

Run. Run.

[JPC]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, you know me. It's Aaron Keefe. Cousin Marvin. Marvin Keefe here to tell you about BetterHelp. That's right, BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based on 1.7 million client reviews. We all know that every once in a while we could use some help with our mental health. So why not talk to a licensed professional therapist. Plus, with BetterHelp, they do the initial matching work for you so you can just focus on your therapy goals. You just do a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences. And then their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time they and if you're not happy with your match, just switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored Rex. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Riddle that's BetterHelp. H E L P.com Riddle hey guys.

[Aaron]

Can't talk long. A very crazy week. I've got about 60 seconds to hang out with you guys. I'm really on the go this time of the year.

[JPC]

Okay, we don't have to talk. I just want to kind of spend our minute hanging out cuddling if everyone's cool with that.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I'll be the big spoon. As per usual. You know what's been helping me so much this week, guys? Having my Tempo meals. Tempo delivers fresh chef created dietitian approved meals right to your door.

[Adol]

Well, Aaron, sweetie, that's. And let me just snuggle in between here. That's the thing is with Tempo, each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food, real fast without you know, like sad podcast studio lunch or like drive through regret plus.

[JPC]

With 20 new recipes every week made from nutrient rich ingredients, Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits. Hey, speaking of keeping things exciting, why don't I be the tiny sharp fork?

[Adol]

Ow.

[Aaron]

Ugh. Okay, we'll try it. No matter what your goals, there's a Tempo meal for you. Protein packed meals with up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious and even GLP1 based meals. I love the filet mignon with creamy mushroom sauce. 30 grams of protein. Gorgeous. Makes your home smell nice. Cozy, cozy meal in your belly. Ugh. The best.

[JPC]

Let me get my tiny fork and that.

[Adol]

Speaking of the best even busy athletes like Maria Sharapova.

[Aaron]

Wow.

[Adol]

Don't say a word Maria. But thanks for coming.

[JPC]

Dynamite smile.

[Adol]

Even she swears by Tempo for balanced meals that help them stay on top of their wellness goals. Bye Maria. Thanks for stopping by.

[JPC]

And for a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to tempomeals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box. Tempomeals.com riddle rules and restrictions may apply.

[Adol]

Sharapova, you're snuggling us too. Don't say a word.

[Aaron]

Don't say a word. It's really nice to see you.

[Adol]

Don't say anything.

[JPC]

Hey everybody, JPC here. You know, one thing I love about summer is how easy everything feels. The days are a little more relaxed and I find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere pieces again and again. That is why I Love Quince. Quince's 100% European linen pants and shirts are breathable, easy to throw on, and the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just $34. I absolutely love their linen shirts. I wear my Quince linen shirts all summer long. They're light, they're breezy. It's the best feeling in the summertime. Plus, their tees are soft enough to live in all day and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when the summer nights cool down. Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, and they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quint's has home goods. They have sheets. They became a trusted favorite from everything from from home to travel to everyday essentials. Plus, I played Peter Quince in Midsummer Night's Dream when I was in high school and maybe one time after that. I think I've been in it twice. So make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to Quince.com Riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Riddle actually guys, I've said Quince so much I'm now remembering I played Bottom the Weaver. I did not play Peter Quince in Midsummer Night's Dream in high school and one other time after that played Bottom the Weaver twice. Yeah, so anyway, I'm at the restaurant. I'm having a Nice meal. And then the guy comes up and he taps me. The mater d or whatever, taps me on the shoulder, and he says, you have to leave the restaurant. I know that. Those aren't real hands. You can't wear fake hands at the restaurant. I know you're the guy who's been coming into the restaurant to steal salt and ketchup in your fake hands and filling your fake prosthetic hands up with salt and ketchup. So I make a big scene, you know, he's roughing me up. He's basically, my hand starts leaking salt and ketchup all over the place.

[Adol]

Oh, sorry. I'm getting a call from Rocket Money.

[JPC]

Yeah, no, take it. Yeah, take it, take it.

[Adol]

Unless. Did you.

[JPC]

No, no. Sounds like an important call.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God, guys, I just got the best follow up from Rocket Money. They just canceled one of my subscriptions, and I didn't even have to do. Did it for me.

[JPC]

You guys talk about Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings, right? Yeah.

[Adol]

Yes.

[JPC]

I wish I was using Rocket Money. Wouldn't have to steal southern ketchup from restaurants.

[Adol]

Oh, that's. Oh, I didn't realize. I can lend you money.

[JPC]

Yeah, no, I mean, you don't have to do that. I would appreciate it. I mean, it's been tough times.

[Adol]

Yeah, I'm just a little flush right now. Because Rocket Money, like we said, can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app. With a few taps, saving users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions.

[JPC]

That's a lot.

[Adol]

Not that I have 880 million, but let's just say I'm doing pretty well.

[Aaron]

I've been using Rocket Money way before they were even a sponsor of the show. It is so good for my brain. If you're like me and you're a little disorganized, it's all color coded. You can set up budgets for yourself. You can consolidate checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give yourself a clear view of your financial picture so you don't get surprised by anything. There's no little dark corners in your bank account anymore. You know exactly what's going on and exactly where your money's going.

[JPC]

Well, Rocket Money also lets you use automated savings that grow towards goals with adjustable amounts and frequencies for a set it and forget it approach. So if I wanted 100 pounds of ketchup and 100 pounds of salt by tomorrow, all I have to do is. Oh, save that much salt and ketchup. Okay.

[Adol]

Excuse me. It's me, the maitre Daddy.

[Aaron]

Uh.

[JPC]

Oh.

[Adol]

I just wanted to confront you and say, let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle

[Aaron]

JVC stole all this ketchup.

[JPC]

Rocket money. Leave your prosthetic hands at home, because you won't. You're going to have enough salt and ketchup at home that you don't need prosthetic hands at a restaurant. Rocket money. Goodness.

[Adol]

That is better. Myself.

[Aaron]

Hello and welcome back from the break. We have some more riddles from Sean K. And these are Hank Pinks.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Okay. These are the best.

[Aaron]

Do that Hank Pinks jingle.

[Adol]

Hank Pinks. Hank Pinks. Did you know that Nate rates a Hank Pink? Hank Pink. Hank Pink. Everyone get Nate's ray.

[JPC]

Nate Ray is a hick Pink.

[Adol]

I would love it. I don't know if you guys are too young to remember, but there used to be a game show, reality show where it was like Lorenzo Lamas and someone else and they just have laser pointers and people would get on stage in like, a bikini or like, underwear, and they'd take their lasers and be like, this sucks. This part of your body sucks. And they just do that. I feel like Nate rate could be something similar where Nate Bargazzi rates your body. Yeah.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I would really love to hear his feedback on my body. When I think about people who I want to hear from, it's kind of him.

[JPC]

Gotta be family friendly, though. Cause this whole thing is family friendly. So it's like family friendly body rating.

[Adol]

Yeah. He laser circles my tummy and says, like, looks like someone's the bread eater.

[JPC]

Okay. This is actually breadwinner in theaters.

[Aaron]

You're giving him way too much credit. Okay. A cucumber preserved in brine. That's always changing its mind.

[Adol]

A fickle pickle.

[Aaron]

Yes. The fifth month plus 24 hours equals a call for help.

[Adol]

Mayday.

[Aaron]

Mm. I would like to see a scene.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Jt, the fifth month is love.

[JPC]

I just watched that movie.

[Adol]

What'd you say?

[JPC]

The fifth month is love.

[Adol]

Aw.

[Aaron]

Jpc. You okay? Stop. And I hate to say this again on an improv podcast, but shut up. No, but, guys, seriously, don't say shut up in an improv context. It really stops the action.

[JPC]

Yeah, unless you're going to say shut up and dance with me. You're totally allowed to say that in an improv concept.

[Aaron]

Yeah, but it has to. There has to be a really good reason why you're singing Walk the Moon. Yeah. You're at a wedding gpc. You are in a submarine and something is going horribly wrong, and you are trying to communicate with someone, like, on a. Like a Navy ship or something. And adol. You keep getting sidetracked when he's trying to call for help.

[JPC]

This is the USS Cephalopod. Again, I'm putting out a description stress signal. Our. Our systems are. Are compromised. We are. We are swimming blind down here. Does it. Does anyone come in?

[Adol]

This is San Antonio. Copy, paste and click. Sorry, I'm just finishing up. Hold on one second.

[JPC]

I'm sorry. San Antonio? The. Oh, the USS San Antonio. The.

[Aaron]

The.

[JPC]

The naval cruiser.

[Adol]

That's right.

[JPC]

Oh, okay. Thank God. Again, this is the USS Cephalopod. We are 40,000 leagues under right now. And we.

[Aaron]

All.

[JPC]

Our sonar is out. We're flying blind down here. We have no idea where we are.

[Adol]

Okay, let me grab the manual. Really? Jules Vernon. Over there. Okay. Page one.

[Aaron]

Did you read me a manual? Did you say my name? I was thinking about going to get lunch. Do you want me to grab you something?

[Adol]

Ooh, how. Cephalopod. How. How much time do you think you have?

[JPC]

Do you think you have 45. Very little. Very little time. I don't. We could. We could. We could bang into something. We're at risk of dying down here,

[Aaron]

and I haven't picked a spot yet, so if you're craving anything, I can.

[Adol]

Maybe we do vending machine lunch Again.

[JPC]

Vending machine lunch.

[Aaron]

It's my birthday.

[Adol]

Say hi, Manuel.

[Aaron]

Aren't you guys on a. Hi, Emmanuel.

[JPC]

A naval cruiser? There shouldn't be very many lunch options on a naval cruiser, right?

[Aaron]

We're docking. We're docking today, so I was thinking about getting a Chipotle or something.

[JPC]

You're docking. But no, please, this is a distress call. You have to find us. Some of the crew is dead.

[Adol]

Well, any calls a distress call with that attitude? Listen, you signed up for this. You know how to swim, right?

[JPC]

I. It wouldn't matter. The pressure would kill me if I got into the water.

[Aaron]

It's your birthday today.

[JPC]

How?

[Aaron]

Happy birthday.

[JPC]

Oh, please, don't make a big deal.

[Aaron]

No, not you. Who's on the phone?

[JPC]

This is. I'm the captain of the usocephalopod.

[Aaron]

Who?

[JPC]

I'm a secret submarine captain. It's my birthday today. I'm 41. Whoa.

[Adol]

What's that? No, nothing. I just saw a spider See, that's a spider response. 41. Well, thank you for calling, and I

[JPC]

hope you'll leave me a good review. The. The ship is making horrible sounds. The pressure is building. I think we're. I think we're all gonna die down here, and I don't want to die before I've had sex.

[Adol]

41.

[JPC]

You said so.

[Adol]

These sound like a sequel.

[Aaron]

Stress you out. Dude, you don't have to pick up the phone if you get.

[JPC]

It's 2026, and there's a male loneliness epidemic. Okay, it's not weird that I haven't had sex.

[Adol]

Hang up.

[Aaron]

Hang up. Hang up.

[JPC]

Hang up.

[Aaron]

Okay, one of the four chambers that makes up this beating organ part. I'd like to see another scene. Sorry. The three of us are three organs that you would find in someone's body. No one be funny and be a piano. Sorry to cut you off at the legs there. Sorry. Sorry to be such a jerk. Everyone can decide what they are. You can be whatever organ you want to be.

[JPC]

Got it?

[Adol]

Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump. Pumping blood.

[Aaron]

Oh, hey, heart.

[Adol]

Hey.

[Aaron]

How's it going? Good. You were so good in your performance last night. I'm sorry. None of us have asked about it yet.

[JPC]

Oh, that was last night. Oh, how was it?

[Adol]

I've been told it was good. And. Sorry, I have my back turned.

[Aaron]

Sorry. I was totally, completely, completely filled with pee, so I couldn't make it.

[Adol]

Lungs.

[Aaron]

Come on. I knew. I knew you were gonna do this to me. I knew you were gonna do this to me. I knew you were gonna do this to me.

[JPC]

What were you doing? Lungs. Were you removing carbon dioxide from the pee so that you could turn it into.

[Aaron]

Shut up.

[JPC]

Oxygen?

[Adol]

Come on.

[Aaron]

You talk about your thing. I'm trying to be nice to heart. They were sh. Lungs.

[Adol]

Shut up.

[JPC]

Lungs.

[Adol]

Shut up.

[JPC]

Next time, send it my way. I'm the bladder. I can handle all that.

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah, you're the bladder. Oh, you're the bladder. You can handle all that stuff.

[Adol]

More like the bladder. Shut up.

[JPC]

What?

[Adol]

And dance.

[Aaron]

You know we're dying, right? You know we're dying. If I'm filled with pee, that means you're fucked too. Do you know what I mean?

[JPC]

Everybody's dying, okay? That's what living is. Lungs. We're dying every day. We die a little bit more every day, okay, but seriously, lungs don't. You don't have to handle the pee, okay? Tap me next time. Give me a tap and let me know. Hey, handle the pee. I'll do it.

[Aaron]

Yeah, you were Pretty drunk. And you were passed out, so.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's fucking liver's fault. Oh, my God. Liver and I went out last night.

[Aaron]

Did you go say something about me?

[JPC]

Hey, liver.

[Adol]

Ooh, you look rough.

[JPC]

I heard you so rough.

[Aaron]

Gorgeous Phantom of the Opera last night. Sorry, I couldn't make a. I had a family function.

[Adol]

Oh, she's got cirrhosis under her eyes.

[Aaron]

Do I? Thank you. I. I love to be complimented. I love to be complimented. It builds up my confidence and I love it. Thank you.

[JPC]

Hey, liver, why don't you take a night off? You know, why don't. Why don't. Why don't you maybe take it easy for a spell?

[Aaron]

No, no. I told intestines that. And kidneys. Large, small, small intestines and kidneys and appendix, obviously, that I was gonna go out for appendix. Going away party.

[JPC]

Look. Look at Lux. Lungs. Lux is drinking more pee.

[Aaron]

Why?

[JPC]

Why does Lux do this?

[Adol]

Hey, everyone. Brain here. Can whoever's drinking pee please stop?

[Aaron]

Nobody move. Please, if we're very still, don't make

[Adol]

me come down there.

[Aaron]

He doesn't notice anything.

[JPC]

Grab a broom down here. But he will. He'll send skin. He'll send skin. I know he'll send skin down here.

[Aaron]

He'll send nervous system. Hey, guys. Actually, yeah, I am down here. I just want to make sure everyone's okay. Just coming down through the spinal fluid, and I'm just sort of everywhere. Is lungs drinking pee?

[JPC]

Lungs is. Yeah, lungs is drinking pee again.

[Aaron]

And whose fault is that?

[Adol]

Lungs, brain.

[JPC]

What do you think? What should I say?

[Aaron]

Sounds like bladder is really dropping the ball.

[Adol]

And we pull out, and we pull out and see Aaron playing this person whose organs we've been viewing.

[Aaron]

I'm drunk on the couch, booing a video of a squirrel trying to get a nut that it buried a while ago.

[Adol]

Dog standing on two legs on the arm of the couch, pissing into your mouth.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Scene. Scene.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[JPC]

Don't put that on Lou. It would be Lou doing it, and we don't want Lou doing it.

[Aaron]

No, it wouldn't.

[Adol]

I said Aaron was playing a character. I didn't say it was Aaron.

[Aaron]

Lou is sound asleep.

[JPC]

Aaron wears her character. It's like a thin veil.

[Aaron]

Over time, this colorful latex coating has dulled paint.

[JPC]

Faint paint. Faint paint.

[Aaron]

The worst brother in law known for excessive whining.

[Adol]

Mitch. Bitch.

[Aaron]

Yes, bitch. Mitch. Wow. Can I tell you in the family group chat last night, my sister and brother in law, Mitch.

[JPC]

Kidding me in there. Why am I not in there?

[Adol]

Aaron, knock, knock. Let us in. What's the name of the group chat? Let us in.

[Aaron]

No way are you allowed in there.

[JPC]

Who's in there?

[Aaron]

Well, okay. It is my mother and father.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Kathleen and Mitch.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Molly and Jimmy.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Aaron]

And then me. I'm so far protecting myself.

[JPC]

So you have a plus one?

[Aaron]

I do technically have a plus one. It's called Jimmy and Friends.

[JPC]

Me. Get me in there.

[Aaron]

And it is a photo of Jimmy at the Haverto Riddle Live show is the group photo. We're called Jimmy and Friends right now.

[JPC]

What can I do to get in there? Is there some sort of, like, charity auction where I can be there for 20, 24 hours, Aaron? Like, how am I. How can I get in there for one day? I just need to. What do I pay? Who do I write a check to?

[Aaron]

If you donate a hundred dollars to the charity of my choice.

[JPC]

Done.

[Aaron]

Let's say, like, let's do another.

[JPC]

Another hundred enambla, Aaron. Done.

[Aaron]

And you can be in there for 24 hours and. But I, I, I. What is your plan? Are you planning on stirring the pot or upsetting the ecosystem? Or are you just there to observe, like a zoo?

[JPC]

Oh, interesting. So you think that my hundred dollars to your fake charity gets you access to my plan as well?

[Aaron]

Fake charity. Okay, so yeah, then I don't get to know your plan. Okay, $125 if I don't get to know your plan.

[JPC]

Okay, yeah, that's fine. I'll do it. I'll do that every day. I'll budget that shit. So I'll pay it. I'll give it, you know. What's the $125 a day? 365. Doesn't matter. I'll pay it, man. I'll pay whatever I need to pay.

[Aaron]

You can get in. You can get in for one day, but you gotta. You gotta pay.

[JPC]

Is it cheaper to break up Molly and Jimmy and insert myself in there just to get in? But then I lose Jimmy. Don't want to do that.

[Aaron]

Jimmy's a very fun part of the group chat. And Jimmy is the only one that listens to Hay Roddle.

[Adol]

Whoa. Sucks to find out like this.

[Aaron]

I know. Well, my mom will drop in at the most inopportune times.

[JPC]

Jimmy's the only one. What are we doing this fucking show for? It's just Jimmy listening to it. You mean we have one listener. It's fucking Jimmy.

[Aaron]

He's come on up to. I bet, like, we'll hear about this within a couple weeks of it coming out that he'll.

[JPC]

No, no, no, no, we all. It's. There's more than one listener because it's my cousin Lindy and some. Some of Mariah's coworkers, so.

[Aaron]

Oh, hello, Mariah's coworkers. Oh, my God. I would have worn a better shirt if I'd known they were here. How do you do?

[JPC]

What. What shirts do you have that are better? Aaron White with one rose.

[Aaron]

Hey.

[JPC]

At the neck.

[Adol]

And listeners, I'm talking to you when I say it's time to propose to Molly.

[Aaron]

I know.

[Adol]

And that's for Mariah's co workers.

[Aaron]

And it's a reminder. You have to come on the show and ask for all three of our permissions. You promised.

[JPC]

So you're in real form. I'll give my permission to the group

[Aaron]

chat directly to Jimmy in front of everybody.

[JPC]

Yep.

[Aaron]

So in the group chat, Mitch and Kathleen expressed that they loved the finale of Widow's Bay. And I was watching it by myself, and so I said, hey, can we do a separate little chat, just the three of us and you can let me know moments that maybe I can close my eyes. Scary moments. And they said, you're good. Nothing at all. And then the number one thing that I was scared of seeing happens in that last episode. And I went, why didn't you mention that? And I woke up to a text this morning from my sister going, ha, ha, sorry, I closed my eyes for that part.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

And I went, then say, you're not qualified to give me a warning.

[JPC]

But here's the thing, Aaron. You know that you don't like scary things, but you're watching a scary show. So, like, you're already. You're already in pretty deep water here, right?

[Aaron]

Exactly. And that's why I go, hey, beloved brother in law, beloved sister, can you guys give me a quick heads up? You don't have to find me the exact minute mark. Just go, hey, when you see something like this, something like this is about to happen, maybe close your eyes. And that's all I needed.

[Adol]

We can beep this part, but I'm assuming a lot of people have seen the finale already. The part Aaron's talking about is Chris Elliott shows up. And I know that's Erin's number one, number one thing that she doesn't like to see in movies.

[Aaron]

Tell me to close my eyes when Chris Elliot shows up. I say all the time, we know

[JPC]

when Chris Elliott is about to show up. And that's what she was saying. When this happens, tell me. Because the temperature in the room drops

[Adol]

10 degrees, my knee swells A little bit.

[JPC]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Adol]

A lot.

[JPC]

Mr. Modesty.

[Aaron]

JPC. There's really only, like.

[JPC]

That's as big as a summer pumpkin.

[Aaron]

There's really only a summer pumpkin. Summer.

[JPC]

Yeah, they're smaller.

[Aaron]

There's really only, like, one disagreement or argument or fight over on that group chat, like, once a year. And it's mostly like, pictures and videos of my nieces being funny and sweet. And then yesterday we're talking about Widow's Bay. And then I said, just finished. Let's see if those sluts over on Love island can cheer me up. And they could not, because it's also a bloodbath over there.

[JPC]

I want to change my request, Aaron.

[Aaron]

Sure.

[JPC]

The one time a year where there's any sort of strife or disagreement or something happening in the group chat that is maybe causing some antagonistic, you know, feelings or behavior, I want you to do this. I want you to change my contact in your phone. Actually, I don't think you actually even need to do that. I want you to say, guys, I've hired a professional mediator to help us sort through this. And then I want you to add me to the group chat. Now, I will never reveal. I will never reveal that I am me. I will.

[Aaron]

Well, now Jimmy's gonna know, though.

[JPC]

Jimmy, you keep this to your fucking self. You take this to your goddamn grave, Jimmy. And then I go in. I pretend to be a professional doctor who is a mediator. I mediate the situation, and then I leave. I promise. I walk. I walk away. You never.

[Aaron]

That's actually so funny, jpc. I actually will take you up on that because nothing would make me laugh harder. I fight with my family in individual texts for the most part. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not the one. So I'm just saying, like, I'm happy to bring you in to. To mediate.

[JPC]

Sure. Back in the day, I had a friend who would find two people with the same first name on Facebook, but this is back when people used Facebook and he would start a group chat, because you could do this on Facebook with, like, two people named Kevin in it. And he goes, hey, you're both named Kevin. Join. And then he would leave the group chat. So he would just leave you in a group chat with a stranger.

[Aaron]

I hope that's plain Cupid. Kevin's are married, Aaron.

[Adol]

You saying those little sluts on Love island or whatever makes me think, should we do a Patreon? That's like Slut Cove or like Slut Peninsula. That's like A parody of. Yeah, okay.

[Aaron]

Whenever you want. I'm ready to go. God, that show stresses me out. I think that they should have one normal person on there or two, like one normal couple. Just to keep you grounded and tethered to Earth. Because it is. You're just watching hours and hours of it and you're like, this cannot be what I am too. Like, I'm not the same species as

[JPC]

these people I watched. I've watched Love island before because my wife loves Love Island. But the guy who does the announcing for Love island, you never see him in the show, but he's just like the voice of Love Island.

[Adol]

That's the best part. Yeah.

[JPC]

And he's so good that he's also the voice, I think, of the us Love. I think they tried like a different voice, but they're like, no, this guy's got the best. We just got to use this guy. One time my wife showed me, like, what that guy looked like and I was like, oh, that guy's like a young looking guy. In my mind. He was like one of those, like, Greg Proops level, like, zany comedians, like in his, like, 50s or whatever. But I was like, no, this is just like a normal looking guy.

[Aaron]

He's like a handsome Brit.

[JPC]

He could be on Love Island.

[Aaron]

Comedian who I think was on a season of Taskmaster.

[JPC]

Well, he should be on Love Island.

[Adol]

Please, please put him on Love island and still let him narrate.

[JPC]

Let him do his thing as a contestant on Love Island. That would be so good.

[Adol]

I saw one season of Love island, the UK version, which was stellar. It was so good and weird and fucked up. But the host was pretty good. But there's a moment where she was talking about how she's such a nerd or something. She's like, I'm such a nerd. I do cartwheels on the beach. And then she goes, I'm so weird. And I'm like. And she. And she was gorgeous.

[Aaron]

And I'm like, I'm a monster to you guys that if that's weird, I

[Adol]

feel like very attractive people are like, I'm such a weirdo. I do cartwheels on the beach. And I'm like, that's like a. That's like what you do in a photo shoot or something. Like, what are you talking about? But I just love that. That's like their.

[JPC]

But you know what I'm saying? Everyone has a different baseline for weird. Like, we drink our own pee and stuff like that. So we can't. We don't know what weird is. Huh? But for them, for like a model who's like a professional model, they're like, oh, none of my other model friends are doing cartwheels on the beach. So maybe I am weird to my model crowd.

[Adol]

I leave the fridge door open until it beeps. I'm such a freak. Like, okay,

[Aaron]

um, okay, we're gonna do. We're gonna finish up these hink pinks from Sean K. After spinning around and around, this imaginary magical friend should take a seat before he pukes.

[Adol]

Dizzy Wizzy.

[JPC]

Yes, Dizzy Wizzy.

[Adol]

I do what it's using.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Adol]

Jpc. You are Wizzy. The Aaron's imaginary wizard from her childhood. Aaron. You are Aaron.

[Aaron]

And this is the drinking pee Aaron or the Aaron Aaron. Ah, doesn't matter. Those are the same thing.

[Adol]

And this is the day of your wedding. Aaron. And this is Wizzy. Just having a talk to you to say goodbye.

[Aaron]

I'm so sorry. You get killed after this.

[JPC]

No, you know, miss, it's goes with the territory. God, I can't believe you're all grown up. I mean, look. Look at you.

[Aaron]

You look beaut.

[JPC]

You look beautiful.

[Adol]

A.

[Aaron]

Thanks. Can I pour you a drink or something?

[JPC]

You know, you could imagine me like a Jim Beam. Wouldn't be bad if you ice. Yeah. Oh, and if you. While we're imagining things, if you wouldn't imagine me a little. Couple bumps of cocaine. Yeah, yeah, because it's my last day, you know? Of course. Yeah, yeah, it's my last day, kid. And we had some good times together. Chasing around a little tree and casting magic spells. So a little imagination. Cocaine. Hey, here's a crazy question. You're about to get married. This is your wedding day. You're gonna have a day. You're gonna, you know, making memories.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Could you imagine Wizzy some hookers?

[Aaron]

I'm way ahead of you. Yeah, I'm imagining a. A couple. Exactly your type.

[JPC]

Who are these guys?

[Aaron]

Yeah, Guy.

[Adol]

Oh, hey, buddy. How's it going?

[JPC]

Okay, so when you said my type. You bet. Like me or images of me. That's not necessarily what I'm attracted to.

[Aaron]

Hey, come on. Don't you masturbate in the mirror?

[JPC]

First of all, I stopped masturbation. That's how I cast spells, okay?

[Aaron]

That's by the way, in the mirror. Eye contact with yourself.

[JPC]

Hey, guy, that's your imagination, okay?

[Adol]

Me?

[Aaron]

No, me.

[JPC]

Not this guy. I don't know this guy. Who. What are you. What's your guy.

[Adol]

What's your name?

[JPC]

Guy.

[Aaron]

You know what, Wizzy? I got your name is Jizzy. Yeah.

[JPC]

Okay. Actually, I like this guy.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Give him a shot. I think you're gonna have a really nice time.

[JPC]

Give him a shot. Okay. Here's some Jim Beam. Here's a little cocaine. Oh, yes.

[Adol]

Oh, I snorted a Jim Beam, and I drink the cocaine. Why do birds sadly appear?

[JPC]

Jizzy. I love this guy. All right. Make it. Hey, hey.

[Aaron]

And you guys have a domino. I'm going. I'm going. You guys have domino.

[JPC]

You ordered us dominoes.

[Aaron]

That's coming after you guys come. What's up?

[Adol]

Can you imagine us? Some swords.

[Aaron]

Some swords.

[JPC]

Aaron, please. Some swords. Oh, that's how I want to go out. I want to go out in a duel against Jizzy.

[Aaron]

I need to. I need to find a better therapist. This is me. This is coming from my brain, and something's going on. If this is what's rattling around myself.

[Adol]

You're an a coma, sweetheart.

[Aaron]

Good and good.

[JPC]

But you're also getting married. It's like while you were sleeping situation.

[Adol]

But he's also in a coma.

[JPC]

But he's in a coma.

[Adol]

The hospital thought it'd be cute.

[JPC]

And, honey, you are no Sandy Bullock, all right? You are no Sandy Bullock.

[Aaron]

All right?

[Adol]

Who is? Who is?

[JPC]

Who is? Who is?

[Aaron]

All right, you two crazy kids, you have fun.

[JPC]

Who is.

[Adol]

Love you.

[JPC]

Love you. I love you.

[Aaron]

I can't get out. I can't get out of the room. See?

[Adol]

Wand me, Daddy.

[Aaron]

Coming in clutch. And lending assistance to the podcast. Even Travolta would call this wise puzzle writer.

[JPC]

Wickedly talented Travolta Revolta a Sandy Dandy. Handy Sandy.

[Aaron]

Handy Sandy. Yep.

[JPC]

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[Adol]

Please, can you wash your hands?

[Aaron]

Endorsed by all your favorite 90s celebrities, a new themed restaurant chain celebrates fourth host avatar in the worlds they live

[Adol]

on Hard Rock, Planet Hollywood.

[Aaron]

Fourth hosts Avatar in the world they

[JPC]

live on Varney, Cora Cafe, Korrabora, Akora Bora, Alice.

[Aaron]

You're close because it's Janet Planet. Yeah, Planet Janet.

[JPC]

Koroboros is a Avatar that eats its own Avatar.

[Aaron]

And we don't have a voicemail or theme. Right?

[JPC]

Why not? You have called.

[Aaron]

Hey, Riddle.

[Adol]

Riddle.

[JPC]

At their voicemail line, we're sure your messages will be sublime. We cannot wait to hear your thoughts. But 30 seconds. All you've got. And if somehow you dialed wrong, your chance to bail is almost gone. You have called 8:05. Riddle one. What did it do?

[Aaron]

Oh, my God.

[Adol]

Is that Ben Platt?

[Aaron]

Genuinely, one of my favorite ones we've ever gotten.

[JPC]

That was Ben Platt. Ben Platt didn't leave their name. So I can't give them credit, but thank you so much for submitting. Also, they had a line in that about how long you have to bail. People always assume when they leave a voicemail that there will be an end to it where they can delete the message, but there is not. So sometimes people will call, they'll be like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Okay, okay, how do I delete it? How do I delete it? Okay, just delete. Just wait. I'll just wait to delete the message and then I just get a two minute message of someone freaking out.

[Adol]

Now we have to do an episode. That's just all that, all the overtime, voicemails.

[JPC]

I feel like it's. It's one of these things where it's like too mean for like. If it was Aaron leaving the voicemail, I would play it every day on my birthday. But since it's like a. Just a listener, I'm like, this is too mean to. This is just a person having the ultimate embarrassing experience. I can't put this out there.

[Aaron]

I don't think it's embarrassing. I like it. Well, Erin, I'm ready for the voicemail.

[JPC]

Would you do it to me? I'm going to do it every year on my birthday.

[Aaron]

Good. Hey, guys. Big fan. I need your help. I'm taking a stand up class right now and while I'm really loving it,

[JPC]

when the performance endorphins wear off, I feel so shitty. So I need to know, how do

[Aaron]

you guys take care of yourselves after a performance? Thank you.

[Adol]

Love you.

[Aaron]

That's a great question.

[JPC]

Was that Nate Bargazzi?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I got the Nate rate on that. Yeah, that happens. I didn't know about that. And it happens all the time. And I think it happens a lot after we record remotely because you kind of turn off your computer and all of a sudden you're alone in your apartment. It's like, ugh. If you can try to socialize as a little cap on that experience, if you can chat with people after and get the dopamine of connecting with people and being in community, that's really nice. I think not getting into a routine that requires any sort of substance is a gift that you can give to yourself. I like to, when I get home from a show, drink tea and watch something comforting. But I don't know how much good advice.

[JPC]

I'm sorry. Air likes to watch Mr. T and drink Southern Comfort.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Until I pass out, I like to drink pee Whiskey mixers.

[JPC]

Casey Clippet. Ow. That Hurt her physically. Standup is hard. Cause standup, I feel like, is also in addition to. It's like a very lonely thing to do as well. Right. It's like Aaron mentioned that thing about finding community. But I know a lot of times people do stand up shows and they leave before to go do their next set somewhere else. It's not as easy, I think, to hang out when you're doing stand up. So that could be rough.

[Adol]

I'd say just get glued to your phone as soon as possible. Walk out of the theater, head down, go get some food, try and get to bed as soon as possible. Wake up, pretend that never happened.

[JPC]

Yeah, get to bed early. I also think that if you like you're getting this endorphin crash cause you're getting off the stage. But when you get off the stage, just think as life as another stage for you and never turn off whatever it is. Like be on all the time. So in social situations, you're still cracking jokes, you're still looking for material. Everything is a riff. Everything is on. Never turn it off. Because when you turn, it's like a shark. When you stop swimming, you die. So the only reason that you're feeling bad is because quitting too early. You want to keep this going 40, 50 years. Pay the Nate rate.

[Aaron]

Pay the Nate rate. Pay the Nate rate.

[JPC]

Yeah. I think the biggest takeaway there is just make sure you're paying the Nate rate. What do we have to plug Aaron? Anything you got going on.

[Aaron]

Check out quality time. If you live in Los Angeles, it's been very, very fun recently. It's always fun, but I think we're in especially fun time. And check out Gumshoes and dragons that we do with Anthony Burch, who is the best. I'm having a lot of fun on that. Our recent one shot that we did for our Patreon, I laughed so hard and then laughed for several hours after we recorded it because the three guys were so funny in it. So check that out. If you want adol anything to plug,

[Adol]

now is a great time to catch up on. Hello from the Magic Tavern. Also, we have a Patreon where we just started our new season of offices and bosses, so you can check that out. And also if you're looking for something to listen to on a summer walk, check out the word association where recently I yelled at Brett because he said that fruit is the fingers of trees.

[JPC]

Okay, that's not that wrong. That's pretty close to being right. That's wrong. That's wrong. That's Pretty close to being right.

[Adol]

Fruit is the acne or the goiters of trees. Jpc, anything to plug or promote or review to read.

[JPC]

Yeah, I mean, obviously always pay the Nate rate on our Patreon. $5 a month gets you access to an episode every week. And I do have a review to read. Let's see. This is a 5 star review from Bon Bon Angles. Bon Bon says this is a merch request. I don't know how else to reach you. I had twins in December. Can you guys please sell onesies that say little monkey bones? Thanks. Also, deep cover should have starred you three. I forgot all about that movie. I never saw that movie. That was the movie about the people that were improvisers with Orlando Bloom. And it's like undercover improviser View crew after Breadwinner. After the breadwinner.

[Aaron]

We're not watching breadwinner. I cannot do it. It's like Bryce Dallas Howard, Orlando Bloom and then what's his name from.

[JPC]

Oh, the guy from Ted Lasso. Yeah, yeah, the Jason Sudeikis. It's not that guy from Ted Lasso. You know what I'm thinking though? What's the thing from Game of Thrones? Like you have to pay the iron. Is it Iron Price? I only watched the first season.

[Aaron]

The Nate rate.

[JPC]

The Nate rate. I think they should change it. I think they should replace it. I think Theon Greyjoy should have to pay the Nate rate.

[Adol]

Cersei. It was Nate.

[Aaron]

All right, well, hot dogs, I think. And we'll see you guys later.

[JPC]

Created by Adult Refine. Starring Aaron Keenan and John Patrick Cohen.

[Adol]

Casey.

[JPC]

Tony did the editing and Marty parented the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. One, two, three, four. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. Hey there. Hoovers and Tahoes. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of our STA State series. This week we're going to Nevada. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] Heyreddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron]

That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[JPC]

Sterling K. Brown.

[Adol]

And I'm Chris Sullivan.

[JPC]

And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum.

[Aaron]

Each episode we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us. That's right.

[JPC]

We're gonna go episode by episode.

[Aaron]

We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[JPC]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot. A whole lot.

[Adol]

That's what I'm hoping, man.

[JPC]

Listen to that. Was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Adol]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[JPC]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show. Coming to. Coming to.

[Adol]

That's what it is.

[JPC]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Adol]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[JPC]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show now on Headgum.

[Adol]

Woo hoo.

[JPC]

Woo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to

[Adol]

be really 90 minutes.

[JPC]

Every minute over is a minute to go. Apparently there's only so much butthole you can take. We're gonna take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits. Bad, bad behavior and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions. Jeff. I noticed that every. Every so often with guests like Spike Jones. I think let's commit to Jackass the Podcast. What was it going to be called? The Jackass Podcast. Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup right this. Chris Pontius.

[Adol]

That shot of your butt just cruising up, I'm like, yeah, I got that on tv.

[JPC]

God bless us, Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's gonna happen to me. Wee Man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted

[Adol]

to kill me, like.

[JPC]

And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy and I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.

[Adol]

Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

[JPC]

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram, Instagram and TikTok. Ackassthepodcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.

[Adol]

Ever wonder who's out there making the world go round? It's truckers. Who unites baristas with coffee beans? Truckers.

[JPC]

Who unites dogs with their favorite chew toy?

[Adol]

Truckers. That's why Progressive offers truckers even more

[JPC]

protection with cargo, plus coverage to keep

[Adol]

truckers moving right along.

[JPC]

Quote Truck insurance today in as little as 8 [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates coverage subject to policy terms,

[Adol]

limits and conditions not yet available in

[JPC]

California, New York and Virginia.