Patreon Preview #294: Let's Get Ready to MUMBLES! (Spooky House of Horrors pt. 4)

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle Podcast Summary Episode: Patreon Preview #294: Let's Get Ready to MUMBLES! (Spooky House of Horrors pt. 4)
Release Date: October 25, 2024
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan
Platform: Headgum

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Introduction

In this gripping fourth installment of the "Spooky House of Horrors" series, the Hey Riddle Riddle trio—Adal Rifai, John Patrick Coan (JPC), and Aaron—venture deeper into the enigmatic Uncle Mumble's haunted house. Tasked with spending the night to earn a million dollars, the hosts navigate through eerie corridors, puzzling challenges, and unexpected comedic encounters. This episode masterfully blends suspense with humor, characteristic of the show's unique style.

Entering Uncle Mumble's House

The episode kicks off with the hosts finally gaining entry into Uncle Mumble's abode. Adal sets the stage, expressing skepticism about the necessity of a four-episode arc for this haunted house adventure.

Adel (00:03): "Okay, we are finally inside Uncle Mumble's house."

JPC echoes this doubt, but the excitement of the potential million-dollar reward keeps the team motivated.

JPC (00:08): "Easier than I thought it would be to just kind of get inside, open the door. Yeah, yeah."

The Million-Dollar Challenge

Adal clarifies the stakes: enduring the night could earn each host a substantial monetary reward.

Adel (00:18): "Okay, it's 10:03pm right now and remember, we just have to stay the night. And if we stay the night, we get a million dollars."

A humorous moment arises when Aaron seeks clarification on the prize distribution.

Aaron (00:38): "I should have asked this earlier. Is it a million dollars each or a million dollars altogether?"

The playful banter continues, adding a light-hearted tone to the impending spooky exploration.

Exploring the Haunted House

Adal, having prior experience with the house, offers a brief tour, highlighting features like a fireplace with a secret entrance.

Adel (01:56): "I was here once and it was, I want to say, three months ago when Uncle Mumbles was getting really sick of my family. He said, come over one last time and kiss it all goodbye. So I know. Oh, there's a fireplace over here with like a secret entrance."

The hosts speculate about the mechanics of the house's supernatural elements, blending curiosity with caution.

Encounter with the Talking Sauce Packet

A standout moment occurs when Aaron humorously anthropomorphizes a Taco Bell sauce packet, leading to a comical exchange.

Aaron (02:50): "Hey, guys, what's up? I'm Fire."

The ensuing dialogue showcases the hosts' improvisational skills and their ability to infuse humor into tense situations.

JPC (03:02): "Fire."

Aaron (03:07): "Not too much."

JPC (03:09): "This must be from when Aaron doordashed Taco Bell in the middle of a thing trying to get a Baja Blast, but ended up only ordering a regular Mountain Dew. Hey, Fire. Was that a regular Mountain Dew that Aaron ended up drinking?"

The playful interaction continues as Aaron defends the sauce packet's "talking" behavior, leading to exaggerated ghostly threats and humorous retorts.

Supernatural Happenings and Paranoia

As the night progresses, the hosts experience unsettling occurrences—creaking floors, multiple doors opening simultaneously, and mysterious voices urging them to leave.

Adel (05:25): "Every time you open a door and go through it, JPC and I come through another door going the opposite way in sort of a Scooby Doo situation. So stop. Stop doing that."

Aaron (05:35): "Oh, like, what's going on?"

The tension mounts as they grapple with the possibility of genuine supernatural forces at play versus their own imaginations.

Strategies to Survive the Night

Faced with increasing unease, the hosts strategize to remain safe and maximize their chances of winning the prize.

JPC (06:55): "This is my house, and I have to flow out."

Adel (08:17): "I think the... the door that has WC on it, that's the bathroom."

They decide to split up temporarily to cover more ground, aiming to locate essential areas like the bathroom while keeping communication open.

Counting the Cost of Previous Mishaps

Aaron takes a moment to address past mistakes, humorously counting the times his actions have cost them the million dollars.

Aaron (08:30): "And before we all split up and go our separate ways in this house, I just need you both to look at me and I need you to both remember how many times the two of you have cost me a million dollars."

Adel (08:42): "1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 7, 8."

JPC (08:45): "20, 40, 60, 80, 100."

This segment underscores the playful self-awareness of the hosts regarding the series' ongoing escapades.

Final Preparations and Parting Ways

As the night deepens, urgency sets in. JPC expresses a desperate need to find a bathroom, leading to more light-hearted exchanges about personal hygiene amidst the chaos.

JPC (07:53): "Well, if we want to be chill, I need to find a bathroom immediately because I need to take a bath."

Adal recalls past visits to the house, pointing out crucial locations to aid their navigation.

Adel (08:17): "I think the... Oh, I just remembered. The last time I was here, Uncle Mumbles spent some time in England, I think. So the wc. The door that has WC on it, that's the bathroom."

Climactic Departure and Teasing Future Content

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts prepare to separate, establishing their individual plans to survive the night.

Aaron (10:00): "Hmm? I'm gonna stay right fucking here. Cause this is a spooky house. Yeah, and this is the kind of mistake people make in movies."

They agree to regroup and hint at future episodes that will delve into previous misadventures and potential resolutions.

Aaron (09:07): "We'll do another episode later where we'll show you all the times that you blew it for me."

Conclusion

The episode blends suspense with humor, showcasing the hosts' camaraderie and improvisational prowess. As they navigate the haunted house's challenges, their interactions provide both tension and levity, keeping listeners engaged and entertained. The episode concludes with a tease for upcoming content, promising more riddles, puzzles, and spooky adventures.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Adel (00:18): "Okay, it's 10:03pm right now and remember, we just have to stay the night. And if we stay the night, we get a million dollars."
• Aaron (02:50): "Hey, guys, what's up? I'm Fire."
• JPC (05:35): "Oh, like, what's going on?"
• Aaron (08:42): "And every time it's happened, I've said, this is the last time, and if it happens again, I'll never forgive you."
• JPC (09:17): "It's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting."

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Final Thoughts This episode of Hey Riddle Riddle encapsulates the perfect blend of mystery, humor, and camaraderie. The hosts' dynamic interactions and quick-witted banter not only drive the narrative forward but also provide a delightful listening experience. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the series, Patreon Preview #294: Let's Get Ready to MUMBLES! promises an engaging journey through Uncle Mumble's haunted house, leaving listeners eager for the next installment.

Transcript

[Adel]

Okay, we are finally inside Uncle Mumble's house.

[JPC]

Easier than I thought it would be to just kind of get inside, open the door. Yeah, yeah.

[Adel]

This was, I don't know if this needed to be four episodes.

[JPC]

Who could say?

[Aaron]

Who can say?

[Adel]

Who can say? Okay, it's 10:03pm right now and remember, we just have to stay the night. And if we stay the night, we get a million dollars.

[JPC]

Like eagle eyed cherry.

[Adel]

Stay tonight. Right.

[Aaron]

Can I ask a question?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

I should have asked this earlier. Is it a million dollars each or a million dollars altogether?

[Adel]

It's not about eagle eye cherry.

[JPC]

Is that a eagle eye?

[Aaron]

That's fine.

[Adel]

I'll ask that question later about eagle eyed cherry.

[JPC]

Yeah, the floor is open for eagle eye cherry related questions. Hey, what's you know, part of my Bill Clinton, Bill Gates here. But you know, what's the definition of the knight? You know what I'm saying? What actually qualifies as the knight?

[Adel]

Oh, so maybe there's like a suit of armor, like a knight's suit of armor. And we have to stay it, quote unquote, keep it sort of supported upright.

[JPC]

Yeah. Keep it held back basically.

[Aaron]

Or do we have to stay until the sun hits the house in the morning?

[Adel]

Ooh, yeah.

[JPC]

Oh yeah.

[Adel]

And then once up a full beam. Yeah. Kind of covers it. Or it could be like 6am Like I feel like 6am is like typical morning.

[JPC]

Yeah. But if I leave at 6am, I going to get. Are we going to get like penalized and is it like stay the night? But like, if I leave it like let's say 4am Am I still going to get like $800,000 or is it like full million, full night, like all or nothing?

[Adel]

I don't know. I mean, why don't we kind of just start exploring the house and maybe.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I mean, obviously you've been here a million times, Adel. I'm sure you probably were running around this place when you were a little kid. Get us a tour, Adel.

[Adel]

I was here once and it was, I want to say, three months ago when Uncle Mumbles was getting really sick of my family. He said, come over one last time and kiss it all goodbye. So I know. Oh, there's a fireplace over here with like a secret entrance.

[Aaron]

Oh, cool. Okay. So this kind of haunted house, a.

[JPC]

Secret entrance to the fireplace.

[Adel]

Mm.

[JPC]

Entrance to where? The fireplace.

[Adel]

So if you walk. So like, you see where the fire is going?

[JPC]

Do I see where the fire is going?

[Adel]

You see the fireplace where there's a fire going?

[JPC]

Fire roaring Fire going as an active. I thought it was gonna, like, travel to a place and I was like, oh, I don't. Yo, I don't know where it's going. Like, meet up with it later. No, it looks like it's fire staying, honestly.

[Adel]

Well, once you stand inside the fire, the fire's going, and it takes you to a secret room.

[Aaron]

Hey, guys, what's up? I'm Fire.

[Adel]

Ah, what the.

[Aaron]

Hey, guys.

[Adel]

Hey, Fire.

[JPC]

Oh, I'm sorry. One of my Taco Bell sauce packets is speaking. Not this one, not this one. Can't be.

[Adel]

Verdict.

[JPC]

Fire.

[Adel]

Fire.

[Aaron]

Hey, what's up?

[Adel]

Not too much.

[JPC]

This must be from when Aaron doordashed Taco Bell in the middle of a thing trying to get.

[Aaron]

I did do that.

[JPC]

A Baja Blast, but ended up only ordering a regular Mountain Dew. Hey, Fire. Was that a regular Mountain Dew that Aaron ended up drinking?

[Aaron]

Twas my guy. Twas.

[Adel]

Do all sauce packets talk at Taco Bell or just you?

[Aaron]

Well, it depends if we got something to say, and I certainly do.

[Adel]

Are you from Taco Bell or talking Bell.

[Aaron]

That's a funny joke, man. You should go into comedy.

[Adel]

Oh, I was being serious.

[JPC]

Telling a comedian to go into comedy is also kind of a shitty thing to say. Fire packet, you guys. What do you have to say? Fire packet?

[Aaron]

Well, I was sitting here in JPC's pocket, burning a hole in your pocket, not being used to go on a quesadilla or whatnot. And I was thinking, I think I.

[JPC]

Always cut holes in all of my pockets.

[Aaron]

I don't like you, man.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

And I'm sure you get that from a lot of Taco Bell sauce packets. I'm sure you're used to hearing that.

[JPC]

I'm more of a mild guy myself. I'm more of a m. Well, I actually cut the hole in my pocket so I could access my jib.

[Aaron]

Here we go again. You know what, man? I came out here to warn you that I was sensing some ghosts, but I think you were the bad energy that I felt. Good luck in the haunted house. You're not gonna hear a peep out of me anymore.

[JPC]

Yeah, cuz I'm throwing you in this fireplace. You're gonna die.

[Aaron]

You burnt from whence I came.

[Adel]

Oh. His last words for wait, he was born from fire.

[JPC]

No, I think he just wanted to say like a cool thing as he died, but I don't think he thought too much about it.

[Adel]

It kind of popped, but the packaging. Still there? Yeah.

[JPC]

Got sauce all over your uncle's fireplace.

[Aaron]

That was super upsetting. That Was really upsetting. I feel like that's a bad way to start the night.

[Adel]

It's just a sauce. I don't feel like PETA's gonna be on our ass.

[Aaron]

They. I don't know. They might be. They might be.

[Adel]

PETA's coming after people who tear open sauce packets at Taco Bell.

[Aaron]

Erin personified sauce packets that people get emotionally attached to.

[Adel]

Aaron, listen to yourself.

[JPC]

I think it's, like, more likely, like, the ACLU comes after us for, like. Because it was, like, you know, a person kind of.

[Adel]

Oh, maybe.

[Aaron]

You guys, I'm. Every time I open a door or step on a floorboard, it's making a crazy creaking sound. Listen. Oh, like, what's going on?

[Adel]

Yeah. And every time you open a door and go through it, JPC and I come through another door going the opposite way in sort of a Scooby Doo situation. So stop. Stop doing that.

[JPC]

Well, actually, don't stop doing it. Let's try to open as many doors as possible, because between you and me, I do need to find a bathroom, and it is kind of an emergency.

[Adel]

Took a big breath in the middle. Are you okay? Voice gpc. Aaron, did you hear that?

[JPC]

Yeah, I heard it. Was that helpful?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I heard it. I think they're probably okay.

[Adel]

Get out of my house.

[JPC]

What are the moments?

[Adel]

Are you winded?

[JPC]

Die of emphysema?

[Aaron]

Maybe that voice didn't take a big enough breath before the beginning of the sentence because I didn't realize how breathy it would feel. And maybe it started to feel lightheaded. A little lightheaded in the middle of the sentence and did what it had to do.

[Adel]

Oh, the voice possessed Aaron. She's defending it.

[Aaron]

No, I'm just defending you guys. I'm just saying let's not. A million dollars is a million dollars. Let's not, like, sort of stir the pot here. Let's just be cool.

[JPC]

What I think may have happened is I think the voice may have been trying to just say, get out, but then. Well, I mean, we're all looking at it. It's a DVD copy of get out on the mantle. And I think that the voice may be, like, pivoted because they were like, don't. I'm not telling you to watch get out. I'm trying to tell you get out of my house. So they kind of out of the. Of my house, even though they didn't have the breath for. Of my house.

[Aaron]

This is my house, and I have to flow out.

[Adel]

Oof. Not great. Amateur. From the voice in the house?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

I heard my house is my house, and then I kind of lost the rest of it.

[Adel]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Is it speakers? Is it speakers or house?

[Adel]

I feel like maybe walking 20 minutes a day.

[JPC]

Or was Uncle Mumbles kind of sedentary? Was he not? Like, did he not have an active lifestyle or.

[Aaron]

It's dusty in here.

[JPC]

It's your house. It's your house. You can't say it's dusty like it's a defense. It's dust, Aaron. Am I wrong? It's the voice's house, right?

[Adel]

Yeah. Aaron, you're on our side, right?

[Aaron]

Aaron, I don't know whose side I'm on. All I'm saying is, you guys, I would say let's just be careful. Let's tread lightly. Let's not make any house or sauce packet angry, okay?

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Chill.

[JPC]

Well, if we want to be chill, I need to find a bathroom immediately because I need to take a bath.

[Aaron]

What? Why? What'd you do? Do you get sprayed by a skunk? Don't lie.

[JPC]

It's not. It's. Well, I would not lie about that and I prefer not to answer.

[Aaron]

Why are you using air quotes and everything you're saying?

[JPC]

It's not what I did, it's who I am. Okay, it's 10 o'clock at night. I can't take a. I can't not. I can't go to bed dirty. I need to take a bath. I need to get clean.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Adel]

I think the. Oh, I just remembered. The last time I was here, Uncle Mumbles spent some time in England, I think. So the wc. The door that has WC on it, that's the bathroom.

[Aaron]

And before we all split up and go our separate ways in this house, I just need you both to look at me and I need you to both remember how many times the two of you have cost me a million dollars.

[Adel]

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 7, 8.

[JPC]

20, 40, 60, 80, 100.

[Aaron]

You're counting by 20s?

[Adel]

I want to say 27,000, 268.

[JPC]

I was getting there.

[Aaron]

Yes. And every time it's happened, I've said, this is the last time, and if it happens again, I'll never forgive you. So don't mess this up. Don't blow this money for us. Okay?

[Adel]

Sure.

[Aaron]

Okay. And we'll do another episode later where we'll show you all the times that you blew it for me.

[JPC]

Aaron, do you by any chance happen to know the definition of insanity?

[Aaron]

It's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting.

[JPC]

Hold on. Too fast. I'm locked out of my phone. I need to. It's. What I know.

[Aaron]

Is your phone password the definition of insanity at all?

[JPC]

That's what the clue says. I don't know if that's. Because sometimes the clue isn't exactly buddy.

[Aaron]

The definition. Okay, try.

[JPC]

We should put our phones in the middle of the table. Honestly. And then whoever touches their phone first loses their share of the million dollars.

[Aaron]

Oh, that's fun. I love that.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Okay. Good luck with your bath.

[Adel]

Good luck with your bath. Jpc.

[JPC]

Why is everybody saying, good luck with my bath? Is it? It feels like no one else picks the thing that they're gonna do in the house.

[Adel]

Well, I'm gonna head to the library. Aaron, what are you gonna get up to?

[Aaron]

Hmm? I'm gonna stay right fucking here. Cause this is a spooky house. Yeah, and this is the kind of mistake people make in movies.

[Adel]

You're so right. I don't know why we're running off trying to find trouble. We should just literally sleep next to the door.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Put with our backs against the door. And then.

[JPC]

That's the smart move. I have to take the bath, though. Eren, you stay here and. Okay, so just so we can all remember, if we get split up, Erin is here. She's standing directly underneath this huge chandelier that looks. I don't know, would you use the word precarious?

[Adel]

Yeah. The rope is sort of fraying.

[JPC]

Fraying? Yeah, it's like frayed. Yes.

[Aaron]

I think I'll go to the basement.

[JPC]

That's smart. That's smart. All right. See you guys.

[Aaron]

Bye.

[JPC]

Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day [e-mail].

[Aaron]

Hey, Riddle.

[JPC]

Riddle.