Patreon Preview #297: Animal Parade!

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: Patreon Preview #297: Animal Parade!
Release Date: November 15, 2024
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan
Platform: Headgum

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1. Introduction to the Animal Parade Segment

The episode kicks off with Aaron introducing the "Animal Parade" segment, a new feature where the hosts discuss amusing and quirky animal-related news stories. He references an old news article sourced from the Otago Daily Times titled "Taser Ends Wild Goat Chase," setting the stage for their humorous exploration of the event.

Aaron [00:02]: "This is gonna be our first Animal Parade article."

2. Breakdown of the "Taser Ends Wild Goat Chase" Article

The hosts delve into the details of the headline story. JPC humorously interprets the article's headline, expressing his amusement even before reading the full content.

JPC [00:36]: "I have everything I need from Taser. N's wild goat chase."

Casey shares her excitement upon hearing the headline, akin to the joy of breaking news that promises entertainment.

Casey [00:36]: "Just start going, huh? Huh?"

Aaron elaborates on the story, mentioning a peculiar incident where a gorilla was tased during a chase, highlighting the absurdity of using such measures on an animal.

Aaron [00:27]: "Headline reads, taser ends wild goat chase."

The conversation humorously critiques the media's choice of words, questioning the necessity of labeling the goat as a "renegade."

JPC [02:02]: "That goat was dating my daughter."

Aaron [02:20]: "Renegade goat would be a fantastic Marvel Edition."

3. Comedic Role-Play: Becoming the Renegade Goat

Embracing their comedic flair, Aaron, JPC, and Casey engage in a playful role-play scenario, transforming themselves into goats. This segment showcases their improvisational skills as they create a mock scene inspired by the article.

Aaron [03:25]: "Clearly, we need to give goats tasers. So it's a fair fight."

JPC [03:53]: "What's up, nerds? What's up, sheeple?"

The role-play includes humorous dialogues about goat life, tattoos, and unexpected behaviors, adding a layer of satire to the discussion.

4. Satirical Commentary on Media and Society

The hosts use satire to comment on the current state of news reporting, suggesting that stories like the wild goat chase exemplify the "downfall of news." They mock the sensationalism and triviality often found in modern media.

JPC [02:44]: "We're living through the downfall of news."

Aaron [02:44]: "This is not funny because a goat got tased. It's funny because an idiot human decided to tase a goat."

5. "Animal Parade" Game Segment

Transitioning from the main story, the hosts introduce a quick game segment called "Animal Parade." Each host takes turns describing or mimicking different animals in humorous scenarios.

Aaron [09:17]: "A rat with a hangover."

Casey [09:21]: "A mouse with a party attitude."

They continue with playful interactions, showcasing their chemistry and improvisational talents.

JPC [09:30]: "This is from Jen. Jen says seal breaks into a New Zealand home and lounges on the couch."

6. Closing Remarks and Audience Engagement

As the episode wraps up, the hosts encourage listeners to join their Patreon for more exclusive content and engage with the "Clue Crew" for bonus episodes.

JPC [10:07]: "Clue Crew, listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com/heyriddleriddle."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Aaron [02:20]: "Renegade goat would be a fantastic Marvel Edition."
• Casey [00:36]: "Just start going, huh? Huh?"
• JPC [02:44]: "We're living through the downfall of news."
• Aaron [02:44]: "This is not funny because a goat got tased. It's funny because an idiot human decided to tase a goat."
• JPC [03:53]: "What's up, nerds? What's up, sheeple?"
• Aaron [09:17]: "A rat with a hangover."

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Conclusion

In this entertaining episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, the hosts blend humor with insightful commentary, transforming a bizarre news story into a platform for improvisational comedy and satirical discussion. The "Animal Parade" segment adds a unique twist, allowing listeners to experience the hosts' creativity and camaraderie. Whether you're a fan of riddles or simply enjoy witty banter, this episode offers a delightful blend of both.

Transcript

[Aaron]

This is gonna be our first Animal Parade article.

[JPC]

Got it.

[Aaron]

This is from W. W says, hey team, I'm Only on episode 113. This is of the main feed. But I love Animal Parade. No idea if this still exists. Huh? But here's an old news story from my town.

[Casey]

Just start going, huh? Huh?

[JPC]

No idea of what still exists.

[Aaron]

So this is an old news story from their town.

[Casey]

The Internet.

[Aaron]

This is from the.

[JPC]

It's a news story.

[Aaron]

This is from the.

[JPC]

They sent a link to a dead website.

[Aaron]

This is from the Otago Daily Times. Headline reads, taser ends wild goat chase.

[Casey]

Okay, I am locked into whatever this is. God, that feels like. You know when you're doing world news and someone reads the headline of an article and your whole body is just filled with the joy of knowing, like how good it's about to get.

[JPC]

I don't even need to hear many of the sentences of this article. I have everything I need from Taser. N's wild goat chase.

[Aaron]

I'm on the sides of world news on the sideline of world news. And I'm like grabbing JPC by the shoulders to shift him so I can run out and play the goat. As soon as somebody's lips stop moving.

[JPC]

Reading the article, five people run on stage and I'll go, baa.

[Casey]

And then I come in and I go, anybody want to. Hey, police force, you guys ready to catch that goat? And the audience goes, yes, yes, yes.

[JPC]

I want to say that the show is social commentary, but it's just not.

[Aaron]

It's about that.

[Casey]

It's just not.

[JPC]

It's about that.

[Aaron]

And then I turn and look directly at the audience and I go, don't tase me, bro.

[JPC]

No, no, that one we don't do.

[Aaron]

And all the 17 year olds are like, what is he talking? What is he referencing? Taser ends wild goat chase when he was charged by a panicked renegade goat in Amaru.

[Casey]

Renegade goat. Renegade goat.

[Aaron]

Renegade goat.

[JPC]

I mean, that's renegade, by the way. Puts like. It's like when they use the word like thug. This is just putting like an unnecessary lay on on the goat. Like what about the goat was a renegade? Did he have like a cut off motorcycle jacket? Was he like a member of the Mayans?

[Aaron]

Like, no, he was dating my daughter.

[JPC]

Okay, so he flunked out of school. He's got a switchblade comb.

[Aaron]

Oh, where, oh where could my baby be? Isn't that song about a renegade?

[Casey]

A renegade goat?

[JPC]

I think it's a baby. Baby goat goes to heaven.

[Aaron]

Oh, same thing. Renegade rent a goat Renegade goat would be a fantastic Marvel Edition. Marvel. If you're listening, let us write that we're sorry. We should also say we do not condone animal violence. This is not funny because a goat got tased. It's funny because an idiot human decided to tase a goat.

[JPC]

Well, I also think it's. It's like this is a news article that someone wrote. Like, this is. This is. We're living through the downfall of news. And I got to say, this is why. This is one of the reasons why.

[Aaron]

I'm going to cherry pick some quotes here. It says the guy who tased the goat, it says he admitted his decision to use his taser might have been considered a bit drastic, but given the circumstances, he felt it was the best decision for all.

[Casey]

For all. Yeah, for the goat. That goat needed to learn some respect.

[JPC]

I was thinking about the peasants in China when I tased this goat. I was thinking about all the peoples of the world.

[Aaron]

Clearly, we need to give goats tasers. So it's a fair fight. It's a fair fight. I do want to see a scene. Let's say, jpc, you are a renegade goat, and, Aaron, you and I are just like regular goats. And JPC has come back from maybe like a ayahuasca trip or something, and that's why he's got this new renegade personality. Good grass today, huh?

[Casey]

Yeah. So good. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[JPC]

Is that Chester?

[Casey]

Is he wearing a leather coat?

[Aaron]

Whoa.

[JPC]

Chester kinda couldn't quite. Couldn't quite get it on. Then I'll make these for goats. What's up, nerds? What's up, sheeple?

[Aaron]

Not much, Lester.

[JPC]

What are you guys eating? Grass.

[Aaron]

Yeah, Hillside grass. Can you take off your sunglasses?

[JPC]

Yeah, I can choose not to. I'm having Takis. You guys ever had Takis?

[Aaron]

No. What's a Taki?

[JPC]

Dude, I can't even.

[Casey]

What are you talking about?

[JPC]

All right. What's up, Melissa? Kind of a new side to you I haven't ever seen before.

[Casey]

Oh, yeah. I'm just doing goat stuff this morning. Chester, what are you up to? Is that a little tattoo on your hoof?

[JPC]

Oh, is this a tattoo on my hoof? Oh, that's right. I got wasted last night and got a goat tattoo.

[Aaron]

What makes it a goat tattoo?

[JPC]

Tattoo that they give a goat. I got it on my hoof because that's the. I don't think we have, like, nerve index there. Also. It just. Yeah, it's like, black on black. So it's like, that really easy to show up, but you Know? Yeah.

[Casey]

You know, yesterday when you fainted in front of the whole herd, you seemed to kind of, like, run away, embarrassed, sort of crying like a goat.

[JPC]

Nah.

[Casey]

And then now you have a leather jacket and a tattoo.

[JPC]

Wasn't me, actually. Maybe. Actually, I fainted or, like, kind of fell down because of how fucked up I was on ayahuasca. Don't know if you guys have ever had ayahuasca before. Ever heard of that Before?

[Casey]

The drug.

[JPC]

Okay. What? You.

[Aaron]

Melissa. Damn it.

[JPC]

Cool.

[Casey]

I read a book. I know we're not supposed to.

[JPC]

Melissa.

[Casey]

I'm sorry.

[Aaron]

Hey. Hey, honey. Melissa, honey.

[Casey]

Yeah. What's up?

[Aaron]

We're happily married, right? I mean, every morning we graze on the hillside, and then we fall asleep, we wake up, we graze some more, we fall asleep. We graze some more, we fall asleep.

[Casey]

I haven't been sneaking into the house and reading.

[Aaron]

Oh.

[Casey]

Trying to get an exercise.

[JPC]

Go for Chester. Oh, yeah. Okay. What do they say?

[Casey]

Bluetooth headset?

[JPC]

No. If it's not points on the back end, I'm not interested. I'm not. I don't. I don't. I don't get out of bed for more than four points.

[Casey]

Points on the back end.

[Aaron]

Is he.

[JPC]

Tell Al. Patrick, my goat ass.

[Casey]

Does he have human money at his disposal?

[Aaron]

He's pacing back and forth on two hooves.

[JPC]

Why don't you just call me Jeff when you've got it done, okay. What do I pay you for? Sorry about that, guys. Fucking. That's my fucking agent.

[Casey]

What?

[Aaron]

Agent for what?

[JPC]

Oh, I mean, just, like, he technically does commercial stuff, but he's trying to, like, branch out, and now he's, like, doing movie, you know, whatever, but, like, he's solid on the commercial stuff. I'm gonna let him run with it because it's, like, you know, it's his bag, too.

[Casey]

But, Chester, you've changed. New job, new tattoo, new haircut. Short on the sides, long on the top.

[Aaron]

Well, you dropped these. Tickets. What is tickets? Amy Grant Christmas special, Grand Ole Opry. How are you affording Amy Grant tickets?

[Casey]

Well, one of these has my name on it. Chester.

[Aaron]

Melissa.

[JPC]

No. Well, it was supposed to be a Christmas surprise, but, Chaz, if you look at the other ticket, it's got your name on it.

[Aaron]

Oh, I can't read. So. I mean, I can't read either.

[JPC]

This is what the guy told me. Melissa could read. That seems like bigger news, right?

[Aaron]

Hey, real quick. These are Amy Grant tickets for the Grand Lapi, right?

[JPC]

Well, that's what they smell like.

[Casey]

Yes, but I don't know how. I know how to read.

[JPC]

We could smell.

[Aaron]

I can intuit scene.

[Casey]

That was a renegade goat, y'all.

[Aaron]

What a bad boy. What a bad boy.

[JPC]

What a bad boy. Is that sheep?

[Aaron]

I guess that's more sheep.

[JPC]

What do goats make? What sound do goats make? Daddy screams. I knew you were trouble.

[Aaron]

That's one of the funniest videos of all time from 12 years ago.

[Casey]

Trouble. Trouble.

[Aaron]

And also my favorite Taylor Swift song, Weezer.

[JPC]

When they perform not as Weezer, they perform as goat punishment.

[Aaron]

Wait, why would they ever not perform as Weezer?

[JPC]

I think when they want to do stuff that isn't like Weezer like songs or if they want to like, sometimes they do it for, like, the Die Hard fans. If they're like, hey, we want to do a small show, and we don't want people to find out it's a Weezer show.

[Casey]

Gotcha.

[Aaron]

They'll say, hey, no punishment if they wake up and they're like, let's play good music today.

[JPC]

What if we just do a hard reset and we only do Rush covers and Weezer fans?

[Aaron]

I joke. I like everything except for Maladroit.

[Casey]

I don't know how we're gonna. I don't know how we're gonna top a renegade goat. I'm starting to feel nervous.

[JPC]

Oh, Aaron, you can bottom if it's gonna be easier.

[Casey]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Casey, do something. I don. Tell nine one more.

[Aaron]

Aaron, real quickly. Just. Can you just take clean. Can you do a clean take and just say, I want to bottom a renegade goat?

[Casey]

Just you say it. You say it.

[JPC]

Casey, go ahead. Write that time stamp down for me.

[Casey]

Cowards. Casey, call 911. Tell them to send all three when they go. Police, ambulance, fire truck. Go all three.

[Aaron]

Okay, here's another Animal Parade article, but before we read it, let's do a real quick round of Animal Parade. Aaron starting. Oh, my God. Nope.

[Casey]

A rat with a hangover.

[JPC]

A mouse with a party attitude.

[Aaron]

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. Just a salamander. Animal prey.

[JPC]

Yay.

[Aaron]

Salamander had too many syllables and I panicked.

[Casey]

Yeah, I get that. Salamander. Salamander.

[Aaron]

Salamander, yeah.

[JPC]

Salamander 4.

[Aaron]

Salamander 4. This is from Jen. Jen says seal breaks into a New Zealand home and lounges on the couch.

[Casey]

Here we fucking go.

[Aaron]

I wonder what this article is about. Excuse me, I got tired from my concert. Could I just lay on your couch?

[Casey]

That's the most we've ever sung in unison over Zoom. BBC. That was actually impressive. Well done, us.

[JPC]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Casey]

Hate riddle.

[JPC]

Riddles. Clue Crew, listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.com hey, Riddle. Riddle.