Patreon Preview #300: Chatterbox 23 w/ Janet Varney

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle Podcast Summary Episode: Patreon Preview #300: Chatterbox 23 with Janet Varney
Release Date: December 6, 2024
Host/Author: Headgum

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Introduction: Celebrating Patreon Milestone

The episode kicks off with a cheerful acknowledgment of the podcast's Patreon tricentennial, humorously referencing the number "300 years" to mark their 300th Patreon episode. Hosts Erin, Aaron, and Heather engage in playful banter, highlighting the longevity and dedication of their Patreon community.

• Erin: “It feels like we've been... 300 years. Of course, we do one episode a year, so carry the one. This must be episode 300.” [00:32]

Welcome Guest: Janet Varney

Janet Varney joins as the fourth and "most important" host for this special Patreon preview. Her presence adds a fresh dynamic to the discussion.

• Aaron: “And we are joined by our fourth host, our most important host, Janet Varney. Hello, Janet.” [00:46]
• Janet Varney: “Hello. Happy 300th, everyone.” [00:51]

Janet's Eye Trouble: A Humorous Interlude

Janet shares a light-hearted yet concerning update about waking up with blood in her eye, attributing it to either sneezing, scratching, or rubbing her eye too vigorously. The hosts react with a mix of concern and humor, turning the situation into playful commentary.

• Janet Varney: “Guys, I have a cold. I'm not exactly sure what foul deed caused this... the entire inner half of my right eye is full of blood.” [02:27]
• Janet Varney: “It really is like a sea dividing two people. Or like, on the other side of the river, they believe something different.” [03:22]

Health and Conventions: Janet's Preventative Measures

The conversation shifts to discussions about staying healthy while attending conventions—something Janet frequents. She details her routine, which includes wearing masks, using hand sanitizer, and taking daily immunity supplements. Her pragmatic approach to health becomes a point of admiration among the hosts.

• Janet Varney: “I very often wear a mask on a plane. Sure. I copiously use hand sanitizer. I try to wash my hands all the time.” [04:15]
• Aaron: “I was panicked that I would do that. I'm glad that she's doing it.” [04:45]

Holiday Preparations: Early Christmas Decorations

Aaron humorously admits to decorating for Christmas unusually early on November 6th. The hosts relate this behavior to seeking comfort and joy during the colder months, reflecting on personal traditions and favorite holiday movies.

• Aaron: “I decorated for Christmas on November 6th. It's the earliest I've ever decorated for Christmas.” [06:37]
• Janet Varney: “I’ll watch it [Klaus] when it's reasonable, closer to Christmas.” [08:36]

Favorite Christmas Movies: Muppets vs. Klaus

A lively debate ensues about favorite Christmas films, with Aaron championing "A Muppet Christmas Carol" as his top choice, while Janet expresses her fondness for the newer Netflix film "Klaus." The discussion includes playful skepticism about rumors concerning the fidelity of various adaptations to the original Dickens work.

• Aaron: “A Muppet Christmas Carol is still my favorite Christmas movie of all time, but I think this is my second favorite.” [08:21]
• Erin: “Erin, I've heard this little rumor... the one with the most actual text from the source material is Muppets Christmas Gift.” [08:56]

Rumors and Truths: Muppets' Adaptation Authenticity

The hosts delve into a humorous speculation about the Muppets' version of "A Christmas Carol," questioning the accuracy and faithfulness to Dickens' original text. Janet's skepticism leads to amusing exchanges, emphasizing the blend of fact and fiction in their discussions.

• Janet Varney: “If that's a rumor you heard, it must be true.” [09:07]
• Erin: “Let's go around the horse. So, of course, as it gets into winter... our teeth are chattering. And while our teeth are chattering, we might as well something, something Boxing Day. Chatter. It's a chatterbox.” [09:08]

Closing Remarks: Embracing the Chatterbox Theme

The episode wraps up with the hosts embracing the "Chatterbox" theme, tying it back to the winter season and the sensation of chattering teeth. They invite listeners to continue engaging with the podcast through Patreon, signaling the end of this milestone preview.

• Heather: “Chatterboxing day. Chatterboxing day. 1, 2, 3, 4.” [09:30]
• Heather: “Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day [e-mail]” [09:30]

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Notable Quotes

• Erin: “Unless I misheard you, did you ask Janet to tell us something? To share something with us?” [02:15]
• Janet Varney: “I have a cold... the entire inner half of my right eye is full of blood.” [02:32]
• Janet Varney: “I felt like your voice a little bit when you said it, and that made me distrust that.” [09:08]
• Aaron: “I'm trying to live that life. I'm two and a half years away from that being me, pal.” [07:50]

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Conclusion

This special Patreon Preview episode of Hey Riddle Riddle offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the hosts' lives, blending humor with personal anecdotes. Janet Varney's guest appearance adds depth to the conversation, while discussions about health, holiday traditions, and favorite movies provide relatable content for the audience. Celebrating their 300th Patreon episode, the hosts maintain their signature playful and engaging style, ensuring that both long-time fans and new listeners find value and entertainment in their content.

Transcript

[Erin]

Happy birthday to you Ba ba da ba Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Erin. You're looking at me expectingly.

[Aaron]

I thought maybe it could be for me, but maybe it's. Hey, Riddle. Riddle's Clue Crew.

[Erin]

Erin. It's actually. Hey, Riddle. Riddle's Patreon tricentennial.

[Aaron]

300.

[Janet Varney]

300 years.

[Aaron]

300 years, right.

[Erin]

It feels like we've been. Am I Wrong? Is it 285? 290? No. We've been doing this Patreon for 300 years.

[Aaron]

Feels like it.

[Erin]

300 years. Of course, we do one episode a year, so carry the one. This must be episode 300.

[Aaron]

And we are joined by our fourth host, our most important host, Janet Varney. Hello, Janet.

[Janet Varney]

Hello. Happy 300th, everyone.

[Aaron]

Tell the people what you're eyeing.

[Erin]

Doctor who blanket.

[Heather]

As Jenna was talking, she did take a blanket off of the chair behind her, and I truly thought there was going to be, like. It felt like there was a magician's reveal.

[Janet Varney]

It looked like she was about to reveal that I was sitting on a statue of the three of you.

[Heather]

What?

[Janet Varney]

Yeah. No, I just realized that this blanket is hanging here because it is very cold in the room that I'm in right now, and I didn't think to do anything to heat it up, so I'm gonna shiver like a little grandma.

[Heather]

Does that mean it's cold in la, or do you just happen to be cold in this room?

[Janet Varney]

I don't think it's particularly cold outside. I think it just is. We're getting into the nights where it goes down into, like, the 40s, so. And then this room just sort of traps that and keeps it.

[Erin]

Ooh, the 40s. Louisiana's winter time is upon us.

[Aaron]

I know.

[Heather]

Go down to the 40s. I was thinking, sir, hand me the Tommy gun.

[Erin]

Tommy gun? What invention is this?

[Aaron]

Hold on.

[Heather]

Knights from the 40s. Like, I'm a knight, but I'm in the 40s. But the Tommy gun's not the 40s. Right? The 40s.

[Aaron]

That's like you're scribbling this down in a notebook. What is this for?

[Heather]

I can get this.

[Erin]

I don't know.

[Aaron]

What is this for?

[Heather]

Give me another shot. Take me back, Heather.

[Erin]

Now. Aaron.

[Aaron]

Yes?

[Erin]

Unless I misheard you, did you ask Janet to tell us something? To share something with us?

[Aaron]

I just thought I really called out the elephant in the room. I can't not talk about it.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Janet, something happened.

[Erin]

What?

[Janet Varney]

You're talking about my zombie ghoul eye?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah. Guys, I have a cold. I'm not exactly sure what foul deed caused this. I certainly must have done it to myself, whether it was sneezing or scratching my. Rubbing my eye too hard when I was half asleep. But I definitely woke up with, like. I guess it feels like it must be more than one broken blood vessel in my eye, because the entire inner half of my right eye is full of blood.

[Aaron]

Shocked.

[Janet Varney]

Now, this isn't blood that's going anywhere. It has to be. And I looked this up on the Internet, so it has to be true. Reabsorbed into my eye. Reabsorbed. I'm not going to be crying tears of blood, which would be super cool.

[Heather]

Yes.

[Janet Varney]

I'm not in any case like a religious statue, but like a religious statue in a Madonna video. I have blood in my eye.

[Heather]

Is it possible, Janet, that one of your blood vessels broke? And then the other ones that were, like, next to it were like, oh, I guess, are we all supposed to be doing this? And, like, some of them did, and the other ones were like, I don't think we are. And then they're like, well, now we're broke. So maybe you're asking.

[Janet Varney]

It's just on this side of my iris. So it really is like a sea dividing two people. Or like, on the other side of the river, they believe something different.

[Heather]

I have a question for you, Janet, because occasionally you will send us pictures of you at, like, a convention with someone who is a Hayward over listener or wearing Hayward over merch or something like that. And you go to a lot of conventions. Do you have a thing that you do when you're going to conventions to, like, not get sick? Because anytime I travel to anywhere for anything, I get sick. I think that's kind of the. That's kind of the thing that happens with travel. But, like, do you have, like, a precautionary routine that you do or anything?

[Janet Varney]

Well, great question. I mean, I would say I very often wear a mask on a plane. Sure. I copiously use hand sanitizer. I try to wash my hands all the time. As far as, like, trying to build up some sort of immunity or something like that, I mean, I just have, like, a regular kind of immunity supplement that I take every day anyway. And I think I slipped into that.

[Heather]

Is Janet salt on sense of a lot. Janet's saying, like, I more than.

[Erin]

She's really drawing attention.

[Aaron]

I was panicked that I would do that. I'm glad that she's doing it.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

And so. And of course, I like to think of the people who attend the conventions as my pupils So I like to teach them a little something every time.

[Erin]

And your favorite Third Eye Biden song is a kid.

[Heather]

That's a Goo Goo Doll song. It's just Goo Goo Doll song.

[Erin]

Oh, I know. I know. Who sings? Iris, I'm asking your who her favorite Goo Goo Goo third ey Blood song.

[Heather]

Third Eye Blood song is. Yeah, okay.

[Janet Varney]

It's a different joke, you see. It's a different, equally important joke.

[Heather]

Probably jumper.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah. But I had Covid, like, a couple months ago, and I think I fell into that. Like, I'm impervious to everything for a few months.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

And then it turns out, reminder. I've also had the flu and strep throat this year, having not had either of those things since I was a child. So I think that's just the post Covid. Like, our immune systems are still bananas.

[Aaron]

In your defense, every single person I know in LA right now has a cold. Thank you, everyone.

[Janet Varney]

And I didn't feel attacked until you said in my defense. And now I feel.

[Heather]

Yeah, that's kind of a weak. There's a thing in LA where if the weather dips below 70 degrees, everyone's like, oh, I have a cold.

[Janet Varney]

Hold on, hold on.

[Heather]

The perfect weather is gone.

[Janet Varney]

We'll turn this into. There's plenty of hale and hearty people. Some say too many in Los Angeles. They can fight, but, yeah, we all. And I'm sorry that you're sick, Erin, and I very much hope that you don't have a blood eye the next time I see you.

[Aaron]

I hope I do, because I'm trying to be just like my hero, Janet Varney.

[Heather]

No. Now kids out there are going to watch Korra and give themselves a blood eye. Don't do it. Don't do it, kids.

[Janet Varney]

A blood eye.

[Aaron]

Well, brother, I'm sorry that that happened.

[Janet Varney]

Thanks. I mean, again, can hardly see it. What happened to my friend?

[Erin]

No, it's like when a pirate lifts up their eye patch in the movie and it's just like an empty socket.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, God. It's just like that.

[Aaron]

You guys, I'll be honest with you. I decorated for Christmas on November 6th.

[Erin]

Wow.

[Aaron]

It's the earliest I've ever decorated for Christmas.

[Heather]

It was in reaction to whatever three weeks before Thanksgiving.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

I mean, I don't want to say something happened in our country that inspired me to just fucking try to feel some sort of sense of comfort and joy.

[Heather]

The woman who's claimed it's Christmas for the past four years. That's right, Dan. I'm coming to you live from Somewhere in around Los Angeles, California, in the.

[Erin]

Years connected to nothing.

[Aaron]

Microphones connected to nothing. Beast of Ste.

[Janet Varney]

This will be my last day as a reporter as I don't know where I am and I'd say not that interesting of a story. So it's been great serving you community.

[Erin]

The people who spoke it in. A local interest piece is no longer necessary.

[Heather]

If there was a person from 2024 to, like, 2028, I guess it would be like January of 2029, who just woke up every day and was like, today is Christmas. Going about my day making Christmas cookies. It's Christmas. I think that'd be newsworthy.

[Aaron]

I'm trying to live that life. I'm two and a half years away from that being me, pal. Yeah, but I watched because my place feels like Christmas, and now I'm just leaning in. On Saturday, I watched Klaus, the Netflix.

[Erin]

Oh, great.

[Heather]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Jason Schwartzman, I think I watch it every year. And again I watched it and again I sobbed. So if anyone's looking for. Oh, my gosh, Danielle, it's like the.

[Erin]

Post office one, right?

[Janet Varney]

I thought you were gonna say it was new, but then you said, I watch it every year.

[Aaron]

It's like maybe four years old. Maybe older than that. Wow.

[Erin]

Very, very good.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I'm writing it down. Obviously, you guys know how I feel about the Muppets. So A Muppet Christmas Carol is still my favorite Christmas movie of all time, but I think this is my second favorite.

[Erin]

Wow.

[Janet Varney]

Okay, I'm getting right on this. I mean, I'll watch it when it's reasonable, closer to Christmas.

[Erin]

I'm not crazy.

[Janet Varney]

I'll watch it right away.

[Erin]

Erin, I've heard this little rumor, and I don't know if this is true, that out of all the Dickens adaptations of A Christmas Carol, sure. The one with the most, like, actual text from the source material is Muppets Christmas Gift.

[Aaron]

You're kidding.

[Erin]

Is that true? That's a rumor I've heard. I don't know if it's correct, but.

[Aaron]

You can't ask it.

[Heather]

He said it was a rumor.

[Janet Varney]

Is it a true rumor?

[Aaron]

But is it true?

[Janet Varney]

I felt like your voice a little bit when you said it, and that made me distrust that. I thought you were going to turn out to be kidding, but if that's a rumor you heard, it must be true.

[Erin]

Let's go around the horse. So, of course, as it gets into winter, especially in la, and it gets a little colder, our teeth are chattering. And while our teeth are chattering, we might as well something, something Boxing Day. Chatter. It's a chatterbox.

[Heather]

Chatterboxing day. Chatterboxing day. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hate Riddle. Riddle's clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day [e-mail]. hey, Riddle. Riddle.