Patreon Preview #303: Y2K New Year's Eve

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #303: Y2K New Year's Eve

Release Date: December 27, 2024
Host/Authors: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan
Description:
In this special Patreon preview episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, the trio delves into a fictionalized Y2K New Year's Eve scenario centered around the iconic music-sharing platform, Napster. Through improvised dialogue, the hosts explore themes of corporate dissolution, artist grievances, and personal relationships within the tech and music industries.

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1. The Napster New Year's Eve Speech

Melissa kicks off the episode with a dramatic rendition of a resignation speech at the Napster New Year's Eve party:

"I just want to make a quick speech here at the Napster New Year's Eve party. I know tensions are a little high because we're scared we might all lose our jobs if all the computers stop. But I just want to say how proud I am of our company. And I know, and I know that we will be around for the next 25 plus years being at the top of our game, rolling in dough. So to us, Napster, may we live forever."
[00:04] Melissa

Her colleagues, Sean and an Unnamed Speaker, respond with enthusiasm and support, praising her delivery and commitment:

"You crushed it. You killed it."
[00:49] Sean

2. Unraveling Napster's Financial Woes

The conversation takes a serious turn as the team discusses the looming financial instability of Napster. Melissa expresses her frustration and desperation:

"Is there any way we can make any money? Our whole thing is sort of just ripping off."
[01:12] Melissa

The Unnamed Speaker clarifies ongoing asset liquidation efforts, albeit with a dismissive stance toward the term “ripping off”:

"We're paying homage... We've been liquidating all of the company's assets, so that process is almost complete."
[01:20] Unnamed Speaker

This exchange highlights the company's struggle to generate revenue amid accusations of unethical practices.

3. The Barenaked Ladies' Angry Letter

A humorous yet critical discussion arises around an angry letter from the Barenaked Ladies, accusing Napster of financial exploitation:

"It was so album sales cut in half."
[02:35] Melissa

They find amusement in specific parts of the letter, particularly the casual demand for repayment:

"You owe us a million dollars. And then parenthetical, you owe us a million dollars."
[03:09] Unnamed Speaker

Melissa divulges a personal connection to the band, adding a layer of embarrassment and speculation about personal vendettas:

"Did you think there was going to be some sort of forgiveness or... Lover's Revenge?"
[04:32] Melissa

4. Reflections on the Music Industry and Corporate Responsibility

The hosts delve into the ethical implications of Napster's business model, debating the fairness of profiting at the expense of artists:

"I'm making it so all these musicians will never get paid again. I'm sort of changing the landscape of music, and that's unfair."
[05:14] Unnamed Speaker

Melissa counters, emphasizing the personal benefits over corporate failings:

"You're not doing that to them, you're doing something for you, and that's completely different."
[05:23] Sean

This segment underscores the tension between technological innovation and traditional music industry practices.

5. Light-Hearted New Year's Eve Plans and Relationships

Shifting the tone, the conversation becomes more playful as they discuss personal plans for New Year's Eve and past relationships:

"Who are you guys gonna kiss tonight?"
[06:23] Unnamed Speaker

Melissa shares her awkward hopes for reconciliation with Steven Page from the Barenaked Ladies:

"I was hoping that Steven Page from the Bare Naked Ladies would show up."
[07:01] Melissa

The banter continues with jokes about aspiring music projects and the remnants of Napster:

"That's it, Melissa. That's it. That's our new idea. We take the money from liquidating Napster and we put it into a website where you sing songs."
[08:09] Sean

6. Episode Wrap-Up and Patreon Tease

As the preview concludes, the hosts tease the continuation of the story and invite listeners to access the full episode through Patreon:

"Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day [e-mail]"
[09:42] Unnamed Speaker

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Corporate Challenges: The dramatized scenario highlights the precarious nature of tech companies like Napster during pivotal moments like Y2K.

• Artist Relations: The episode underscores the ongoing tension between music platforms and artists, reflecting real-world issues of royalties and intellectual property.

• Personal Dynamics: Through humor and personal anecdotes, the hosts explore how personal relationships intersect with professional conflicts.

• Humor in Crisis: Despite the serious themes, the episode maintains a light-hearted tone, showcasing the hosts' improvisational talents in navigating complex topics.

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Notable Quotes:

• "Happy New Year's Eve, everybody. How'd I do?"
  [00:56] Melissa

• "Never apologize for doing something for yourself."
  [05:26] Sean

• "I've never done a New Year's where I haven't got kissed."
  [06:42] Unnamed Speaker

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For a deeper dive into this imaginative portrayal of Napster's twilight and the comedic interplay between the hosts, support the creators on Patreon and enjoy exclusive content tailored for Hey Riddle Riddle enthusiasts.

Transcript

[Melissa]

Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. I just want to make a quick speech here at the Napster New Year's Eve party. I know tensions are a little high because we're scared we might all lose our jobs if all the computers stop. But I just want to say how proud I am of our company. And I know, and I know that we will be around for the next 25 plus years being at the top of our game, rolling in dough. So to us, Napster, may we live forever.

[Sean]

To us. To us. To us. Yes, to us.

[Melissa]

Happy New Year's Eve, everybody. How'd I do?

[Sean]

You crushed it. You killed it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You were so convincing.

[Sean]

That was amazing.

[Melissa]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Sean]

And Melissa, like you asked, I fed your Tamagotchi while you were giving that speech. So here you go.

[Melissa]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

So we've also been liquidating all of the company's assets, so that process is almost complete.

[Melissa]

You guys just. I'm going to ask this one more time. Is there any way we can make any money? Our whole thing is sort of just ripping off.

[Sean]

Well, we don't use that term.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, we don't.

[Melissa]

I'm sorry.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Use that term.

[Sean]

We're paying homage.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I know that we haven't found made a single dollar because it's all.

[Unnamed Speaker]

About company is worth money. Is that what you're asking? Okay, yeah, we've been. We have been liquidating, you know, assets and getting as much out of the company as possible as per your orders. But I don't understand what you're asking about making. We're making. I mean, you're making money. You're going to be making a lot of money.

[Melissa]

Right, but like, how do we make money when all we do is, I think we steal stuff and then let other people steal stuff. You know, let's just be quiet because I just don't want any of the employees.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Melissa]

Bye, bye, bye.

[Sean]

Happy New Year.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna throw this out.

[Sean]

Is it. Yeah, yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Is it advertisements? Could that be something? Is that some way that we could be. Are we doing. There is money, you know.

[Sean]

Yeah, right.

[Melissa]

There's money somewhere. Right.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I'm selling printers, I'm selling computers. I'm selling stuff.

[Sean]

Yeah, right.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's getting. You know, there's money being generated from liquidating the company.

[Melissa]

Right, Right. And I know that this, the beginning of the end, we'll call it started when the Barenaked Ladies wrote us A super angry letter saying, you're taking money from us. Yeah, fuck you, guys. Yeah, fuck you. But it was so album sales cut in half. Yeah.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And it was funny. Am I wrong? Because it's like, I know they're a band, but the letter was actually pretty funny.

[Sean]

It was very fun. Yeah.

[Melissa]

What part did you laugh? The Hardest day.

[Sean]

Oh, yeah. Sean, what was your favorite part?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, I think it was when they said in the letter, and this is how I read it, but it was like, you owe us a million dollars. And then parenthetical, you owe us a million dollars. Yeah, that part, to me, because I was like cracking up at that.

[Sean]

Yeah. My favorite was probably Up Top, where they're like. And it was written. But I read it as. It's been one year since we asked you to. So I thought that was.

[Melissa]

It's been.

[Sean]

It's been.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. And this could just be the way that I read it in the letter because I'm not necessarily sure what the tone of the letter was, but I liked how they said, when they were talking about how they wanted, you know, their assets back, that they said, put it in a shoebox.

[Sean]

Shoebox.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Put it in a shoebox of our files. That's how kind of. And that's. To me, that's funny.

[Sean]

Didn't you, Melissa?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Didn't you date one of the Bare Naked Ladies? Isn't that the line? Watching X Files with no lights on. Isn't that about you?

[Melissa]

Yes. Okay, that's embarrassing. Do you think that's why they're coming after us? Some sort of Lover's Revenge?

[Sean]

In the letter, it says at the end, it says lover's Revenge.

[Melissa]

How does it's all been done go? It's all been done that I remembered. It's all been done.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. You had it. Yeah.

[Sean]

You asked it. Then you immediately launched into the correct.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Way because you knew it. You knew it.

[Sean]

That song's about you as well.

[Melissa]

I've been ruminating the last two minutes, right. To try to think about, like, what are some of the lyrics? That it's all been done.

[Unnamed Speaker]

The speech was wonderful. And then you came off of it and you immediately asked us, like, is it good? Was it good? It's like, you know, it's good. You know?

[Melissa]

I know. Guys, I'm sorry. You know, it's Happening Person. I'm the CEO of Napster. I'm making it so all these musicians will never get paid again. I'm sort of changing the landscape of.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Music, and that's unfair. You're not doing that to them, you're doing something for you, and that's completely different.

[Sean]

Yeah. Never apologize for doing something for yourself.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's what the Bare Naked Ladies don't understand.

[Melissa]

That's what Chumbawamba doesn't understand.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I was going to say his name, but let's just say that's what Chumbawamba doesn't understand. Charles Woomba.

[Melissa]

I'm so tired of Chumbawamba going, I'm the best. I'm the best. I write all the hits.

[Sean]

I mean, I'll say right now, they're going to be around for 20 years, 30 years. I think they are the Pink Floyd of our day. I think we're going to see.

[Melissa]

Here we go again.

[Sean]

I mean, I put money on it in Vegas.

[Melissa]

He takes a vodka drink. He takes a lot of drink. He takes a cider drink. Sorry, sorry. Sean, you were saying something?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. Who he is. This is not. I mean, this is. This is neither here nor.

[Melissa]

Hey. Happy New Year. Hope you're having a good time. Happy New Year.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Who are you guys gonna. Who are you guys planning on kissing tonight?

[Melissa]

Well.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Because I'm doing the math, and three of us, it's like, obviously.

[Melissa]

You.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Know, three of us.

[Sean]

Maybe two of us pair off and.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Two of us pair off.

[Sean]

One gets lost or.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, it's like. I'll just say it right now. I don't want to be the one who doesn't. Isn't kissing anyone. Well, if I. I've never done a New Year's where I haven't got kissed. And I don't want tonight to be because of poor planning to be a New Year's where I don't get kissed.

[Sean]

Wow. Never not been kissed.

[Melissa]

I was sort of hoping a movie.

[Sean]

That'S out now, and I.

[Melissa]

This is embarrassing, guys. And I know. I know it's stupid to wish and hope for this, but I was hoping that Steven Page from the Bare Naked Ladies would show up.

[Sean]

Oh, Melissa kissed me. Your ex.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I do think Stephen Page from the Barenaked Ladies is still pretty mad at you. Did you think there was going to be some sort of forgiveness or.

[Melissa]

Love and hate are very closely tied together. Yeah, it's all been done.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I think Stephen Page is more firmly on the hate side.

[Sean]

Yeah, if you name an album stunt, you're mad.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And we've. Instant is out.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yes.

[Sean]

I at least have a preview.

[Melissa]

Probably out. Well, you're never gonna get it. Who needs sleep? Tell me, what's that for? Who needs sleep, baby. Haven't been getting the guysman awakes at the Second World War, who needs sleep? Well, you're never gonna get it, Melissa.

[Sean]

That's it, Melissa. That's it. That's. That's our new idea. We take the money from liquidating Napster and we put it into a website where you sing songs.

[Melissa]

No. No one would pay for that. What if we called it Kaza?

[Sean]

Did you mean to say huzzah?

[Unnamed Speaker]

No, Huzzah's a thing. Kaza is nothing.

[Melissa]

And that's why. But can't shant it be something? Can't it be Limewire?

[Sean]

Is that something?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Kaza. Shant Shack.

[Melissa]

Limewire. Limewire. Did you mean to say.

[Sean]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Hold on, everyone.

[Sean]

Happy New Year. Another speech, Another speech. Melissa.

[Melissa]

Oh, well, it's almost New Year's. Everybody get your Stephen pages. Why did I say that?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Limelight.

[Melissa]

Get ready to kiss. Livewire. Did you mean to say.

[Sean]

Finish that thought.

[Melissa]

Did you mean to say. Slime.

[Sean]

Squire.

[Melissa]

Squire.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Two, one.

[Melissa]

He came. Steven, you're here.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Kiss me. Somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me. Kiss. Oh.

[Sean]

Oh, no.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day [e-mail]. hey, Riddle. Riddle.