Patreon Preview #309: W99.5 The Bog

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle Podcast Summary

Episode: Patreon Preview #309: W99.5 The Bog
Release Date: February 7, 2025
Hosts: Crawdad, Little Ralphie no Pants, Steven Tyler
Description:
In this Patreon preview episode of "Hey Riddle Riddle," the hosts Crawdad, Little Ralphie no Pants, and Steven Tyler dive into the quirky world of Orlando, Florida, blending trivia challenges with humorous banter. The episode offers listeners a behind-the-scenes look at their unique radio show, "W99.5 The Bog," featuring prize giveaways, Disney updates, and unexpected on-air antics.

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1. Introduction and Prize Package Overview (00:02 – 02:20)

The episode kicks off with the hosts re-establishing their presence on "W99.5 The Bog." Crawdad introduces himself as the primary host who calls listeners hourly with trivia questions for prizes.

• Crawdad ([00:12]): "You're here with the Crawdad. That's right. I'm every hour on the hour calling someone to see if they can answer a trivia question for a prize."

Little Ralphie no Pants adds his flair, highlighting his unique persona and hinting at behind-the-scenes dynamics.

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([00:24]): "Hosts, Little Ralphie no Pants over here. My dad owns the station."

Steven Tyler humorously clarifies his role and adds a touch of self-deprecation.

• Steven Tyler ([00:42]): "It's Steven Tyler. And I know what you're thinking. I'm not the lead singer for Aerosmith, but, God, I wish I was."

Prize Package Details: Crawdad unveils the day's enticing prize package designed to attract listeners.

• Crawdad ([01:21]): "The prize package includes two packages of Florida chips... a tour for five people through the Everglades on a fanboat."

Steven misinterprets the geographical location, leading to playful corrections.

• Steven Tyler ([02:10]): "And as we know, the Everglades is in Orlando."

The hosts humorously reveal an additional, bizarre prize—the chance to punch a Disney mascot's neck.

• Crawdad ([02:20]): "But that's not all... the opportunity to punch one Disney mascot in the neck."

2. Disney Updates Segment (02:43 – 03:54)

Crawdad transitions to the Disney updates, providing listeners with the latest (and odd) happenings at the parks.

• Crawdad ([03:18]): "That's right. And we wouldn't be W99.5 the bog unless we gave you Disney updates every 20 minutes."

Notable updates include exaggerated complaints about ride conditions and wait times.

• Steven Tyler ([03:35]): "The lines at for all the Star wars rides are over three hours."
• Little Ralphie no Pants ([03:51]): "There's vomit in the water at Splash Mountain."

The segment concludes with a humorous warning about not drinking the park's Orange Julius.

• Steven Tyler ([03:54]): "Don't drink the Orange Julius. They do use water for that."

3. Listener Call-In and Trivia Challenge (04:12 – 06:50)

Crawdad prepares to make a call to engage listeners in the trivia challenge, aiming to win the day's prizes.

• Crawdad ([04:16]): "Okay, let me just grab my fishing pole here to hook me a phone..."

The call connects unexpectedly to Crawdad's mother, resulting in a brief and awkward exchange.

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([04:55]): "Oh, my God. I'm on the bog. Oh, my God, my mom. Hi, Mom."

After the mix-up, Crawdad redirects to the intended contestant, Lisa, introducing the trivia question.

• Crawdad ([05:24]): "What is Orlando's biggest export?"

Lisa attempts to answer but gets confused by an unrelated emergency at Universal Studios, leading to a comedic dead end.

4. Traffic and Weather Updates (06:58 – 08:23)

The hosts segue into their routine traffic and weather updates, maintaining their signature humor.

Traffic Updates:

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([07:24]): "Route 66 is backed way, way up today."
• Steven Tyler ([07:55]): "Downtown Disney traffic is going as normal."

A playful acknowledgment of their own station experiencing traffic delays adds a meta-humor layer.

• Crawdad ([07:44]): "W 99.5 is backed up."

Weather Forecast:

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([08:13]): "It's gonna rain."
• Steven Tyler ([08:17]): "That can't be true."

The humor continues with a mock warning about not drinking the park's water during rain.

• Crawdad ([08:28]): "Well, when it rains, don't drink the water."

5. Top News Stories and Hosts' Antics (08:36 – 09:08)

Steven Tyler shares the top news stories, briefly mentioning the absence of key team members due to a fabricated "car jousting" accident.

• Steven Tyler ([08:36]): "Our meteorologist Jeff the Hammer Jefferson is still out... involved in a traffic accident where we were doing car jousting in the parking lot."

This segment blends absurdity with typical news reporting, maintaining the show's comedic tone.

6. Music Break and Personal Announcements (09:08 – 10:16)

The hosts play "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles, followed by a brief two-minute break marked by light-hearted conversation.

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([09:33]): "Can I tell you guys I got into grad school again."
• Steven Tyler ([09:37]): "Oh, that's awesome."

Little Ralphie no Pants shares his academic achievements humorously intertwined with his on-air persona.

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([09:36]): "Going for my fourth degree... Little Ralphie no Pants is about to have another degree holder."

Crawdad comments on his academic pursuits, adding to the hosts' playful banter.

• Crawdad ([09:43]): "That's huge. And especially since you're... another feather in the cap of your family line."

7. Conclusion and Teasers (10:16 – End)

As the episode wraps up, Steven Tyler reinforces the show's local flavor and teases the continuation of the episode on Patreon.

• Steven Tyler ([10:16]): "And we're back. 99.5 the Bog it is 6:59 in Orlando, Florida."

The hosts promote exclusive content available to Patreon supporters, encouraging listeners to engage further.

• Steven Tyler ([10:26]): "Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com/heyriddleriddle."

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Humorous Engagement: The hosts employ a blend of absurd humor and witty banter to engage listeners, making routine segments like trivia and updates entertaining.

• Character Dynamics: Each host brings a distinct personality, with Crawdad as the main orchestrator, Little Ralphie no Pants adding quirky charm, and Steven Tyler offering comedic relief.

• Local Flavor: Emphasizing Orlando, Florida, the show integrates local elements such as Disney updates and Everglades tours, catering to their regional audience.

• Interactive Elements: The trivia calls and prize packages are designed to involve listeners actively, fostering a sense of community and participation.

• Behind-the-Scenes Glimpses: Personal announcements and anecdotes (e.g., Little Ralphie no Pants' academic pursuits) provide depth to the hosts, building a connection with the audience.

Notable Quotes

• Crawdad ([02:20]): "But that's not all... the opportunity to punch one Disney mascot in the neck."

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([04:55]): "Oh, my God. I'm on the bog. Oh, my God, my mom. Hi, Mom."

• Steven Tyler ([03:54]): "Don't drink the Orange Julius. They do use water for that."

• Little Ralphie no Pants ([09:36]): "Going for my fourth degree... Little Ralphie no Pants is about to have another degree holder."

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Conclusion

This Patreon preview episode of "Hey Riddle Riddle" offers a humorous and engaging glimpse into the quirky world of "W99.5 The Bog." Through a mix of trivia challenges, local updates, and playful host interactions, listeners are entertained while gaining insight into the vibrant personalities behind the microphone. The episode effectively balances structured segments with spontaneous humor, making it a delightful listen for both regulars and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Crawdad]

The Bog.

[Steven Tyler]

And we're back. You're listening to W 99.5, the Bog. Coming out of Orlando, Florida.

[Crawdad]

You're here with the Crawdad. That's right. I'm every hour on the hour calling someone to see if they can answer a trivia question for a prize. But I'm not alone. I'm also doing it with my co.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Hosts, Little Ralphie no Pants over here. My dad owns the station.

[Crawdad]

LI Li. Little Ralphie no Pants.

[Steven Tyler]

No pants.

[Crawdad]

No pants, no gain.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

But our main guy and the host of this whole thing, introduce yourself, pal.

[Steven Tyler]

It's Steven Tyler. And I know what you're thinking. I'm not the lead singer for Aerosmith, but, God, I wish I was. La va da N elevator.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

He wishes he was.

[Steven Tyler]

All right, Crawdad, what do you have in the prize pack today? What are people going to be winning if they call in? No, I'm sorry. We call them and make them do a trivia question. What do they have to be winning today?

[Crawdad]

I'm glad you asked. Not live. Tyler's dad. We have a package bundle. This is everything you need to get started in Orlando, Florida. Not Kissimmee St. Cloud, not St. Petersburg, but Orlando.

[Steven Tyler]

Yeah. The one that we are broadcasting from. Orlando, Florida. And it is Again, it is 6:52 in the morning. Another hot Orlando morning.

[Crawdad]

The prize package includes two packages of Florida chips.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

One, two, two packages. Little Ralphie no Pants ain't one of the chips.

[Crawdad]

I guess it's gonna be one package. We also have a tour for five people. Not six, not four. Exactly. Five people through the Everglades on a fanboat. Everglades, Florida's biggest thing.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

No, I actually insist. Little Ralphie no Pants joins them. So for Little Ralphie no Pants.

[Steven Tyler]

And as we know, the Everglades is in Orlando.

[Crawdad]

Can't find an Everglades.

[Steven Tyler]

What else is there? So they're gonna win chips and a tour through the Everglades.

[Crawdad]

But that's not all, Steven Tyler. They're also going to win the opportunity to punch one Disney mascot in the neck.

[Steven Tyler]

What?

[Crawdad]

One Disney mascot.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Pick Aladdin.

[Steven Tyler]

Neck, neck, neck.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Too handsome.

[Crawdad]

Pick a mascot that's not wearing any protective costumes. You're just punching a pure human neck.

[Steven Tyler]

Now, Little Ralphie no Pan, Pick the.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Handler for Peter Pan. The guy who stands next to Peter Pan, to protect him, pick his handler and punch him in the neck.

[Steven Tyler]

Little Ralphy. Nope. No Pants. You won this contest and you punched the guy that was holding Aladdin's rope while he was doing all of his jumping Tricks. Right.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

I punched the guy who's holding Aladdin's rope. And I am not allowed back in any of the parks. Although I still sometimes sneak into Epcot and drink around the world. Little Ralphie no Pants drinks around the world.

[Crawdad]

That's right. And we wouldn't be W99.5 the bog unless we gave you Disney updates every 20 minutes. Here are today's Disney updates. Chip will be in the park, but not Dale. It's a Small World has vomit in the water.

[Steven Tyler]

The lines at for all the Star wars rides are over three hours.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

There's vomit in the water at Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Crawdad]

There's vomit in the waters of the Indiana Jones Spectacular.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

There's vomit in the water at Splash Mountain.

[Crawdad]

There's vomit in the water, period.

[Steven Tyler]

Don't drink the Orange Julius. They do use water for that. All right, that's your Disney update. All right, crawdad, are you ready to place your first call and get some unsuspecting Orlandite? The potential to win a bag of chips at a Swamp Boat tour six.

[Crawdad]

Hours south of here and a neck punch.

[Steven Tyler]

Neck, neck, neck punch.

[Crawdad]

Okay, let me just grab my fishing pole here to hook me a phone, and I'll call around Ka Rica.

[Steven Tyler]

Rika, Rika, Rika.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Thank you for calling Orlando Memorial Hospital. If you know your party's extension, please press 1 now and then the extension. Or if you want to talk to an Operator, press 0.

[Steven Tyler]

Are.

[Crawdad]

Are you a person? Is this a. Is this a yes? Is this a bot or.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Sorry, we can't afford the bot.

[Crawdad]

Oh, okay.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Just press 1 or 0 and I'll get you where you need to go.

[Crawdad]

Well, actually, this is the crawdad on W 99.5.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Am I on the bog? Oh, my God. I'm on the bog. Oh, my God, my mom. Hi, Mom.

[Crawdad]

Oh, hi, Mom. Sorry, one second. I didn't know that.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

My mom told me that if she ever died that she'd try to still listen to the bog.

[Crawdad]

Oh, yikes. I hit the wrong sound effect. I had a rooster crow when I said the crawdad. Let me find the crawdad sound here.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

That sounds like a baby crying.

[Crawdad]

I think that. I think that's a credit. That's what a credit sounds like, right? Okay.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Did I win tickets?

[Crawdad]

What is your name?

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

My name is Lisa.

[Crawdad]

Hi, Lisa. Lisa, you're gonna be asked one question, and if you get it right, you will win one bag of chips.

[Steven Tyler]

No chips.

[Crawdad]

You will win no chips.

[Steven Tyler]

Don't say that. Just don't even.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Sorry, I'm Getting a lot of calls in to the hospital. Well, they're all lighting up red.

[Crawdad]

Okay. But you have a prize package waiting for you. It's your call.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Ah, alright, I'll go for the trivia.

[Crawdad]

Okay. For a trip to the Florida Everglades on a fanboat, where you will be on a boat for five hours and see one alligator and almost see some more. But people are wrong. They're just pointing at sticks. And for a chance to punch one Disney character in the neck, Here is your 99.5. The bog question. What is Orlando's biggest export?

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Um, sorry, one second. What? What do you mean there was a huge accident at Universal Studios.

[Crawdad]

Five seconds left.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Oh my God. The Transformers Ride two. How many people are dead?

[Crawdad]

One.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

What? Oranges.

[Crawdad]

I am so sorry. It's not oranges. The biggest export, Orlando is the one on 45th and Vine. It's the export that has like the. The. It's got a parking garage next to it. So when you work out, you can go through the back or the side.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Oh my God. It's going to be a bloodbath today. Oh my God.

[Steven Tyler]

Hang up. Hang up.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Oh my God.

[Steven Tyler]

Sorry.

[Crawdad]

Can you say something funny to. Usually we like to end on like a joke or something.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Fart noise.

[Steven Tyler]

We appreciate that. We appreciate that.

[Crawdad]

All right, I hit the rooster button. Can you say fart noise again so I can hit fart noise?

[Steven Tyler]

They're gone. Little Ralphy no pants. It's 6:58am in the city of Orlando. Hit us with the traffic update.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

All right, coming in on the 108.

[Steven Tyler]

Hold on. Let's do ones that exist in Orlando. Ralphie.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Oh, okay. Route 66 is back way, way up today. All the way back up to Florida. Little Ruby no Pants. Yeah, he was a job this morning.

[Steven Tyler]

To the west of country, not really to the south.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

3A in Massachusetts is absolutely backed up.

[Steven Tyler]

Let's do local. Let's do local traffic. Little Ralphy no Pants. You know what?

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

W 99.5 is backed up.

[Steven Tyler]

Don't worry about it, Little Ralphie.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Downtown Disney traffic is going as normal.

[Steven Tyler]

Great. Why don't we hit him with. Why don't we hit him with the weather? Little Ralphie.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Okay. Little Ralphie no Pants does the weather. Little Ralphie no Pants has no experience. Really? Well, we don't.

[Crawdad]

We just got a cease and desist from the theme song to Inspector Gadget.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

It's gonna rain.

[Steven Tyler]

That can't be true.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Yeah, it rains all the time here in Florida.

[Steven Tyler]

Okay.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

I bet it rains again at some point. I bet it rains again at some point.

[Crawdad]

Well, when it rains, don't drink the water. Steven Tyler, we now go to you for our top news stories of the day. Florida man.

[Steven Tyler]

Top news story. Our meteorologist Jeff the Hammer Jefferson is still out. And our traffic reporter, Mike the Hammer Mikerson is also still out. Lil Rafi no Pants. Not usually behind the mic, but doing such an absolutely great job filling in as both of them were sadly involved in a traffic accident where we were doing car jousting in the parking lot. Car jousting. Not a real thing. For a reason. Wishing both of them a speedy recovery.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

And let's get back into that music. This is King of Anything by Sarah Bareilles.

[Steven Tyler]

Okay, guys, tight, tight show we have.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Oh my God. That was.

[Steven Tyler]

We have a two minute break. Yeah, two minutes.

[Crawdad]

Is that enough time for me to grab a lunchable or you can get.

[Steven Tyler]

A lunchable but you don't have time to start eating it. But I think you can be back.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

You could probably grab one.

[Steven Tyler]

Yeah, from the kitchenette with a lunchable in two minutes.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Can I tell you guys I got into grad school again.

[Steven Tyler]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Going for my fourth degree. It's crazy.

[Crawdad]

And this is in philosophy.

[Steven Tyler]

Please tell me it's for philosophy.

[Crawdad]

Is it philosophy?

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Yeah, I got my philosophy master's. You know, you know this about me three years ago. And then, yeah, I'm diving right back in.

[Crawdad]

Wow.

[Little Ralphie no Pants]

Can you believe little Ralphie no Pants is about to have another.

[Steven Tyler]

Well, yeah, I mean, Sarah, you're obviously, you're not getting the degree as Little Ralphie no Pants, the character you play on the show. Right, but, but yeah, but for all intents and purposes, Little Ralphie no Pants is going to be another degree holder.

[Crawdad]

That's huge. And especially since you're, you know, you're a Rockefeller. Like you come from pretty incredible lineage. So just another, just another feather in the cap of your family line.

[Steven Tyler]

And we're back. 99.5 the Bog it is 6:59 in Orlando, Florida. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hey, Riddle. Riddle's Clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle riddle.