Patreon Preview #314: We Broke the Internet

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #314: We Broke the Internet

Release Date: March 14, 2025

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Introduction

In the Patreon Preview episode titled "We Broke the Internet," hosts Adal Rifai (Adol), Erin Keif (Casey), and John Patrick Coan (JPC) navigate unexpected technical difficulties that catapult them into a surreal adventure within the digital realm. This episode showcases the trio's improvisational skills as they transform a technical glitch into an imaginative journey through the "Internet."

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Technical Difficulties and the Unexpected Journey (00:02 - 03:14)

The episode begins with the hosts preparing to launch a new state series. However, Aaron (presumably a guest or co-host) encounters severe internet issues:

• At 00:14, Aaron mentions, "My Internet is acting a little strange." The team observes visual distortions on Aaron's screen, likened to a "whirlpool" (02:14).

• Adol humorously remarks at 00:25, "Whoa. Damn," capturing the group's surprise at the escalating technical problems.

• Casey jests at 00:16, "So it's acting completely normal, like Internet is supposed to act," adding levity to the situation.

As Aaron's screen warps and spins (02:14), the team speculates on the nature of the malfunction. JPC notices Aaron's cursor being "sucked into the hole" (01:38), leading to the realization that Aaron is metaphorically "getting sucked into the Internet" (01:54).

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Embarking on the Digital Rescue Mission (02:05 - 03:14)

Faced with the predicament, the hosts devise a plan to rescue Aaron:

• Casey declares at 02:05, "There's only one thing we have to do. We have to go in after us." This sets the stage for their adventurous quest within the digital landscape.

• Adol enthusiastically states at 02:05, "Yeah." signifying agreement and readiness.

• JPC contributes at 02:12, "All right. Tie this rope around your waist," initiating the practical steps of their rescue operation.

The team's camaraderie and quick-thinking are evident as they humorously equip themselves for the journey, with references to "Tron motorcycle" and playful banter about preserving expensive equipment (02:19 - 03:14).

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Exploring the Digital Domain and Zillow House Mystery (03:35 - 08:48)

Upon entering the internet, the hosts find themselves navigating through various digital interfaces:

• Adol muses at 04:04, "GPC is floating down to the Google logo on an umbrella," illustrating the whimsical nature of their virtual surroundings.

• At 05:39, Aaron takes charge, guiding the team into the "Zillow website," where they begin exploring virtual properties.

• The group examines a suspiciously cheap old high school listed at "$119,000 in Munster, Indiana," raising red flags about potential hidden issues (05:54 - 06:13).

• At 06:50, Aaron discovers "blood on the wall" within a virtual mansion listed at "$300,000," suggesting a possible dark history: "Something bad happened here, you guys," (07:00 - 07:04).

• Casey humorously questions the authenticity of online listings, highlighting the gap between digital representations and reality (06:26 - 06:50).

• Adol attempts to make sense of unusual listings, pondering over terms like "guts rehab" (07:59 - 08:10), further adding to the mysterious atmosphere.

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Encounter with Aggro Crag and Interactive Chaos (08:48 - 10:12)

The adventure takes a turn when the hosts encounter a character named Aggro Crag:

• At 08:48, Casey warns, "I believe that is the Aggro Crag," introducing a new dynamic to their quest.

• Adol expresses excitement, "I want a piece of it. I want a piece of Aggro Crag," indicating a confrontational yet playful interaction.

• Aggro Crag responds ambiguously, leading to confusion and humor among the hosts (09:07 - 09:22).

• Casey notes the complexity of the situation, "We're deeply sorry about what? We're deeply in love," highlighting the tangled relationships within the digital encounter (09:53 - 09:56).

• The interaction escalates comically as the hosts contemplate the possibility of explaining real-world events like "9/11" to Aggro Crag, only to dismiss the idea quickly (09:57 - 10:06).

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Conclusion and Teaser for Full Episode

As the preview wraps up, the hosts hint at more adventures and challenges awaiting them in their full Patreon episode. The blend of humor, improvisation, and digital fantasy promises an engaging listen for fans eager to delve deeper into the "We Broke the Internet" storyline.

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Notable Quotes:

• Casey at 00:16: "So it's acting completely normal, like Internet is supposed to act."

• Aaron at 02:14: "It started as this little, like, sort of whirlpool in the middle of my screen, and it's getting bigger."

• Adol at 02:05: "Yeah, I think we're absolutely here to save you."

• Aaron at 05:54: "Guys, I'm in the house and there's blood on the wall."

• Casey at 07:35: "Where's the hill? I guess my first question's gotta be, where's the hill?"

• Adol at 09:08: "We could buy you on eBay. I know you don't know what that is."

• Aggro Crag at 09:22: "Oh, shit."

• Casey at 10:07: "Hey, Riddle Riddle's clue crew."

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Final Thoughts

"We Broke the Internet" showcases the hosts' ability to turn technical hiccups into entertaining narratives, blending humor with imaginative storytelling. Through their virtual escapades, Adol, Casey, and JPC engage listeners in a unique adventure that blurs the lines between reality and the digital frontier.

For the full experience and more behind-the-scenes fun, listeners are encouraged to join the Clue Crew on Patreon here.

Transcript

[Adol]

Is this a main feed?

[Aaron]

It's Patreon.

[Adol]

Patreon.

[Aaron]

We're gonna do a State series, if that's okay. But hold on. My Internet is acting a little strange.

[Adol]

Okay, just let us know when you have it.

[Casey]

Wait. Oh, your Internet's acting strange? So it's acting completely normal, like Internet is supposed to act.

[Adol]

Whoa. Damn.

[Aaron]

All right, well, actually, Casey, can you.

[JPC]

Aaron, your recording's still fine though, right?

[Aaron]

Yeah, my recording's still fine. Can I screen share with you? Cause my screen is starting to do this warped thing.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Yeah, it's starting to spin. Yeah, warped.

[Adol]

Good Charlotte, Nine Inch Nails, The Misfits.

[Casey]

The Used Andrew wk.

[JPC]

That's weird.

[Aaron]

What?

[JPC]

No, I just. I've never seen that before.

[Casey]

What Al and I were saying.

[JPC]

No, what you guys are saying was actually awesome and cool.

[Adol]

Well, you love Silverchair. Casey.

[JPC]

Aaron, are you sure your computer is behaving all right?

[Aaron]

Yeah, it was acting normal like, a minute ago, and then I logged on and then normal.

[Casey]

So normal for Aaron. So it was fucked up and crazy.

[Aaron]

You already made this joke, jpc.

[Casey]

Did I?

[Aaron]

So it will be like. It started as this little, like, sort of whirlpool in the middle of my screen, and it's getting bigger. So I just don't know, should I restart or.

[Adol]

You said a whirlpool.

[Aaron]

I don't know what I said.

[Casey]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol]

Are you feeling like any sort of. And I'm not trying to do a bit. Are you feeling like a gravitational pull from the whirlpool?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I feel like sort of I'm falling forward into it. It's like.

[JPC]

Okay, I just saw your mouse cursor. Got sucked into the hole.

[Aaron]

That's not good.

[JPC]

In the center of your screen.

[Casey]

What? Wait, wait, hold on. What the fuck is happening?

[Aaron]

Whoa.

[Casey]

What is this? Is this a premise?

[JPC]

I mean, look at the screen. Share KBC World.

[Adol]

Oh. Oh. Oh.

[Casey]

Whoa. Holy shit.

[Adol]

Aaron just got sucked into the Internet.

[Casey]

Aaron just got sucked into her Internet.

[JPC]

Convenient Excuse.

[Casey]

Adol.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Casey]

There's only one thing we have to do. We have to go in after us. Casey, you're our lifeline. When we hit, I don't know, 50 minutes, pull us out.

[JPC]

All right. Tie this rope around your waist.

[Adol]

All right. And Jabba, I forgot to tether it to something else.

[Casey]

Okay, Casey, So now it's a Duper's rescue mission. Adult. I gotta get Adol out. And I also have to get that rope, because that's an expensive rope. I guess three person. I'll do Aaron. Aaron will be the Third, if I have time. All right, Casey, I'm going in Internet helmet goggles on Tron motorcycle. Casey, don't touch my Tron motorcycle while I'm gone. I know you want to ride that thing. I know you want to ride that thing, motherfucker. I'm going after my friends. Pull us out when we get. What do we think, 48ish minutes from now?

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, 45.

[Casey]

And it might be one of those things where it's like 45 for you, but like, for us it like, feels like.

[JPC]

Yeah, sure.

[Casey]

You know, way longer.

[JPC]

Long time. One. Yeah. Okay. And do you check the odometer on your motorcycle, by the way? Your Tron motorcycle?

[Casey]

Yeah, yeah, it's like one of the only things I do check. And tire pressure.

[JPC]

Okay, cool. Yeah, I have to do a Ferris wheeler.

[Aaron]

All right, bye.

[Casey]

All right, see you, man.

[Adol]

Welcome.

[Aaron]

Ooh, I just hit the G on the Google so hard in my head.

[Casey]

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Oh, oh, oh.

[Adol]

Aaron, I landed right on you. Ow, ow. Oh, sorry. I'll move, I'll move.

[Aaron]

Oh, you brought the rope. The super expensive rope.

[Adol]

Yeah. And it's gonna save us. Are we on top of the Google?

[Casey]

Raindrops on kittens and puppies and prizes.

[Aggro Crag]

Mm hmm.

[Casey]

Drifting down on an umbrella.

[Aaron]

GPC is floating down to the Google logo on an umbrella. Oh, he landed so hard though. Why float down on an umbrella if you're gonna land so hard on your ankles?

[Casey]

That's fun. It's just me having fun. Me being a goof.

[Aaron]

You guys, we just got sucked into the Internet, I think.

[Adol]

Whoa.

[Casey]

Oh, boy.

[Aaron]

Wait, did I get sucked in and you guys came down to save me? Blink, blink, blink, blink.

[Casey]

Yes. Rope. I mean, Aaron.

[Aaron]

Okay, that's really sweet, guys. That actually means a lot to me that you came down here.

[Adol]

Yeah, I think we're absolutely here to save you. But I've never been sucked into the Internet before. So maybe we just go into this Google search bar, which is a little below us here. Let me just get down to the box and maybe I'll just type in home H O M E and I hit enter and. Whoa. Okay, a lot of results flying by us here.

[Aaron]

Zillow, Ooh, wizard of Oz.

[Casey]

You have to type AI or you're just going to get all the AI spam edit as well. Okay, I actually don't think that works anymore. I also saw that if you put fucking in every search result, they won't put AI in there because the AI can't fuck.

[Aaron]

Oh, great tips.

[Casey]

Scared? I don't know if it's true. I haven't googled something since I heard that. It's been a couple of days.

[Aaron]

Okay. Actually, let me just sort of slip into this Zillow website.

[Casey]

Welcome, you guys.

[Aaron]

Come here.

[Adol]

Okay. Oh. Hey. Ooh. Whoa, whoa.

[Casey]

What the hell?

[Adol]

This is gorgeous property.

[Aggro Crag]

This.

[Adol]

Is this an old high school?

[Aaron]

Yeah, this is an old high school. What if we turned it into, like, a cool millennial apartment?

[Adol]

Yeah. $119,000, Munster, Indiana. What could go wrong? I'm guessing the electric and the water and the location all up to all of the snuff.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I'm sure it's fine.

[Casey]

Yeah, the location is just. The location is just listed as wrong.

[Aaron]

What about this house? This place is a big mansion on a hill. $300,000 for this? I mean, that's still pricey, but pretty reasonable for five bedrooms.

[Casey]

Wait.

[Adol]

Yeah, I guess.

[Casey]

A hill.

[Adol]

It's hard to get up and down.

[Casey]

Yes. Is it a paved hill?

[Aaron]

No.

[Casey]

Where's the hill? I guess my first question's gotta be, where's the hill? This is what they don't tell you when you're on these home search websites. Is. Is that a lot of times they'll put a home on here and be like, oh, home on a hill. That's fine. And then you'll, like, look, and you'll be like, okay, that's not a hill. That's a mountain. That is at least a mountain.

[Aaron]

Guys, I'm in the house and there's blood on the wall.

[Adol]

Oh, that's why it's so cheap. Murder. A murder happened.

[Aaron]

Well, we don't know if it's a murder. The house could bleed. No, that's not good. That's not better.

[Adol]

Favorite, Dean Koontz.

[Casey]

It's not better. It's not worse.

[Adol]

Gbc.

[Aaron]

Read me the stats. Read me the stats of the house.

[Casey]

Okay, it said. Well, this is interesting. And this, you said that this was a five bedroom.

[Aaron]

Five bedroom.

[Casey]

Oh, you know what, Aaron? I think what you were reading was bathroom. It's a five bathroom.

[Aaron]

No bedroom.

[Casey]

No, it says it's got a half bed. I've never seen a half bedroom. I don't know what.

[Adol]

Oh, like a Murphy bed. Is it a half bed or half bedroom? Because a Murphy bed's like a half bed.

[Casey]

It says five bathrooms, half bedroom.

[Aaron]

Okay, I'm seeing it. And it seems like a monster sort of tore one of the bedrooms apart.

[Casey]

Got it.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Something bad happened here, you guys.

[Casey]

Okay. And I've never seen this listed, but. And maybe this is A typo, but it says it's a guts rehab.

[Aaron]

I don't know.

[Casey]

Usually they say gut. They say gut, like to gut out, but like guts makes me think.

[Adol]

Okay, let me type in back to the search bar. URL here. Put in guts. Enter. Ho.

[Aaron]

Ho.

[Adol]

Whoa.

[Casey]

Welcome.

[Adol]

Holy shit. The three of us are on nickelodeon. Guts. The 1990s game show.

[Casey]

Adol. Wait, you're using the Wayback Machine? This is. This is. This is a archived webpage. This isn't even a current webpage.

[Adol]

Whoa. At some point, I need to Visit my old GeoCities webpage from when I was a freshman in high school.

[Aaron]

Can we just skip my live journal? If we find it, can we just sort of skip over it?

[Casey]

We're going to have to figure out how to get into those things. Those things sound fun to be in.

[Aaron]

Oh, this website kind of makes me feel nauseous. It's like so archaic and rudimentary. Like, it's sort of like glitching a lot. I think we got to crawl out of here.

[Casey]

Well, no, no, no. Guys, guys, guys, don't. Don't look now. Don't make any sudden moves, but I believe. I believe that is the Aggro Crag.

[Adol]

I want a piece of it. I want a piece of Aggro Crag.

[Casey]

The Aggro Crag coming over to us.

[Aaron]

Okay, be cool. Be cool.

[Adol]

When I was a kid, all I wanted was a piece of echo. Craig. Hey, Crack.

[Aaron]

Hey.

[Adol]

Hi. Hi.

[Aggro Crag]

Hey, what's up?

[Adol]

Not much. How are. How are you, sir?

[Aggro Crag]

Sir? Come on. Sir's my dad's name.

[Aaron]

I never had cable, but my friends know who you are, and that's cool.

[Adol]

We're from the future and.

[Aggro Crag]

Oh, shit.

[Adol]

We could buy you on ebay. I know you don't know what that is. We can buy you on ebay for probably 50 bucks nowadays. I think.

[Aggro Crag]

50 bucks? That's like 200 bucks.

[Adol]

Well, the. Yeah, I guess now it is, but.

[Aggro Crag]

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what now is. I'm the aggro Crack.

[Adol]

How is the British lady who is kind of a referee or something?

[Casey]

Oh, Adol. Don't ask the Aggro Crag about that. I think that they had a pretty nasty breakup. Whoa.

[Aaron]

But maybe not yet, right?

[Aggro Crag]

No, we're still good.

[Aaron]

Oh. Acro Crag.

[Casey]

We're sorry about that.

[Aggro Crag]

Yeah, we're deeply sorry about what? We're deeply in love.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Well, guys, should we tell him about 9 11? No. Right? No. Should he be able to do anything about it?

[Casey]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Aggro Crag]

Hey, Riddle Riddle's clue crew.

[Casey]

Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle riddle.