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Light Knight
Okay, setting up the camera here. Pressing play. Oh, it's already recording. Test, test. Hello, hello, hello. This is the superhero known as Light Knight. Light Knight. This is Light Knight. Okay. Wearing my full suit of armor, of course, produced the power of light. And today we are recording auditions. Auditions for other superheroes. First, I'm joined by my teammates, Madam Mind.
Madam Mind
Sorry, I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
Light Knight
Okay.
Madam Mind
I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
Light Knight
All right.
Madam Mind
Sorry, Madam Mind. Psychic ability. Can read mind. Just heard something that kind of hurt my feelings. Had to excuse myself one second. I'm actually okay. I'm actually okay.
Light Knight
Did someone say something or think someone.
Madam Mind
Said something in their mind about me? I'm actually okay. I'm here. I'm here. Yeah. Sort of witchy costume that doesn't look cheap. That actually looks nice.
Light Knight
I didn't say that.
Madam Mind
You did. You did. You did say it.
Big Boot
He didn't say it. He may have been thinking it, but he didn't say it.
Light Knight
Okay, and rounding out the trio, it is. Big Boot. Big Boot, please. Okay, just for audio sake, go ahead and say your name and what you're wearing, who you're.
Big Boot
Big Boot. Kind of wearing my standard hero costume. Plus my size 42 boots, which is my standard costume. I've got big boots.
Light Knight
Yeah.
Madam Mind
He wants us to know he has big boots. He's really. I can hear his mind. He's, like, kind of insecure.
Big Boot
Well, my name's Big Boot. I mean, of course I want people to know about Big. Hey, in Madam Mind.
Madam Mind
Yeah.
Big Boot
Can we agree not to do the mind reading thing on the two of us? I mean, we're on your team.
Madam Mind
You're sort of insecure about the size of stuff.
Big Boot
Well, I know I made you cry. I know I made you cry earlier.
Madam Mind
Okay. I guess everyone knows true things now. This is fine. We've audited these before. Guys, this is fine. We can all get along for an afternoon. I love it here.
Big Boot
We all get along for an afternoon.
Light Knight
We can all get along for an afternoon. We're going to have some people auditioning. Of course. We lost several members, so we're trying to bolster the ranks. Test, test, test, test. In my.
Big Boot
Wait, did you say killed or lost?
Light Knight
What did I say they died. Yeah, they died.
Big Boot
Okay. I just wanted to make sure that we all agreed. I thought we were all agreeing that we're gonna say lost. Right.
Light Knight
Lost.
Big Boot
Let me. I think you said lost, but I'm.
Madam Mind
Sorry to make sure we say it right.
Light Knight
Yeah, sorry, my helmet visor fell down. Let me. Okay. All right. So test, test, test. This is auditions for the super superhero group towel. Of course. TOWEL is an acronym for the. The order who eventually loses. We're a superhero team where prophecy was once told that we will lose and we have to just have it play out.
Madam Mind
Yeah. Light. Are you okay? You could take off your suit of armor if you want. You are sweating bullets under this Looks hot.
Light Knight
With. Especially with my light ability to. To combine light, the power of light, and night. Spelled with a K. It. My costume choice was so stupid.
Madam Mind
Why didn't you pick something else?
Light Knight
I don't know. Night. I just felt like it is the light.
Big Boot
Does the light generate heat? That's what I've never understood. It does.
Light Knight
All light does.
Big Boot
Interesting. Why can't I feel it?
Light Knight
Because my. Because it's all self contained.
Madam Mind
You know how when it's radiating in the suit.
Big Boot
Did you say self contained?
Light Knight
I thought it.
Madam Mind
You guys, let's just get to lunch. Okay?
Light Knight
Okay. Okay.
Madam Mind
Let's just get to lunch. Okay.
Light Knight
Okay.
Big Boot
I think we need to set some ground rules with the three of us. And I think that we need to agree that there's only three left. We're now kind of the de facto leaders of towel. We need to start working together a.
Madam Mind
Little better, especially if we're awkward. Threesome. 3. We have had a threesome. Sort of itch. And now I'm hearing you guys think about it, and it's worse than.
Big Boot
Well, can I just say. Then I'll just say. Then I'll just say, great. It wasn't supposed to be a threesome. It was just.
Madam Mind
You weren't supposed to be there.
Big Boot
Yeah, you got your foot in the door.
Light Knight
Which I know is your catchphrase. I got my foot in the door.
Madam Mind
But you were like, let's have.
Big Boot
Either one of you. Either one of you could have said, no, thank you. This doesn't mean you.
Madam Mind
I mean, I was interested. I was interested.
Big Boot
Well, I just didn't want to be rude because, you know, and I offered and it was half a joke.
Madam Mind
Okay. Okay. The three of us, we had a threesome. We slept in the next day, and we missed a battle. And everyone else died.
Light Knight
Everyone else died.
Big Boot
Was lost.
Madam Mind
Was lost. Everyone else was lost.
Light Knight
Everyone else was lost. In that in mind, I think it's so funny to say we folded you in. Like he was an ingredient in, you know, making a cake.
Madam Mind
Yeah, we folded in it. Okay. We folded in.
Light Knight
Okay, okay. Sorry. Sorry.
Madam Mind
Okay.
Light Knight
We lost our.
Madam Mind
And literally, we literally. He folded between the two of us? Yeah, we s'moreed. Wow.
Big Boot
Not really smored. I mean, you know what they say.
Madam Mind
About big boot, small penis.
Light Knight
Whoa.
Madam Mind
Well, you said it in your head. You finished it in your head.
Light Knight
Yeah. You left your shoes on. You left your boots on. I left on my suit of armor. It was a rough session of sex.
Big Boot
Yeah, it was a rough sesh.
Madam Mind
I, I, I read in your minds that you both faked it. No. Yes, I did, and it hurt my feelings. You both faked my finishing.
Big Boot
You know what? I wish goldeneye was still alive because he was the one that could stop you from reading our minds. I wish he lived.
Light Knight
Yes.
Big Boot
I'm sorry, goldeneye. I met Pierce Brosnan. I wish Pierce Brazen were still alive. I honestly wish he hadn't died in the big battle. Lost was Lost.
Madam Mind
Well, I think his son is coming in later today to audition, so you're very lucky.
Light Knight
Okay. And everyone's probably waiting in the wings. Silent Shadow, thank you for doing sort of a crossover. I know you're with a different team, Silent Shadow, but thank you for helping with auditions. Go ahead and bring in the first. Sorry, are you shushing me, Silent Shadow, or is that how you. That must be.
Madam Mind
That's how Silent Shadow communicates.
Light Knight
Okay.
Madam Mind
Is in shushes.
Light Knight
Go ahead and bring in the first auditioner for Towel.
Madam Mind
Okay, great. First up is Captain Obvious. Let's see. You want to come on in?
Light Knight
Just right up there on the stage.
Big Boot
Okay. Anywhere or any.
Light Knight
Find the light. Find your light.
Big Boot
That light.
Light Knight
Night is shining. Yep.
Madam Mind
I would say, like, middle of the stage.
Big Boot
Middle of the stage, sure.
Madam Mind
Yeah.
Big Boot
Middle of the stage. Okay. Well, let's just say I usually don't have any trouble finding what I'm looking for.
Madam Mind
Okay. You're sort of in the wings still.
Light Knight
Come on.
Big Boot
We can't see you. Do you understand, Captain Obvious, that we can't see you from where you're standing? You need to come into the middle of the stage where the light is.
Madam Mind
Yeah.
Light Knight
Okay. And just tell us. Yeah. Your superhero name, your real identity, and then your powers.
Madam Mind
And if you're willing to shave.
Big Boot
Well, my superhero name kind of goes without saying.
Madam Mind
Yeah. At first I thought it would be like, you're constantly pointing out the obvious, but it feels. I actually am pretty confused about what your thing is, Captain Obvious.
Big Boot
Oh.
Light Knight
Because it seems like the spotlight shining in the center of the stage. It seems like it would be common sense to just walk into that. Like it's directing you.
Big Boot
I mean, I want to say it seems like it would be obvious Right? Am I. Am I going crazy here?
Madam Mind
No, you're right. You're right, Big boot. You're big. You're right.
Big Boot
Well, let's just say that if I wanted to be in the center stage, I would be.
Light Knight
Okay. This feels like. Feels like he should be like Sergeant Sarcasm or something.
Big Boot
Yeah, it wasn't even sarcasm even.
Madam Mind
It's like, it's intentionally misleading. Right.
Big Boot
Does he think he's being obvious?
Madam Mind
Let's ask.
Big Boot
I don't.
Madam Mind
Hey, sir, do you think you're being obvious?
Big Boot
Captain Obvious, Big Wink. Okay.
Light Knight
Oh, send in Big Wink. Yeah, next, let's send in Big Wink.
Big Boot
Thank you.
Madam Mind
Hold on, hold on.
Big Boot
We'll be in touch.
Madam Mind
Captain Obvious. What's one plus one? What's one plus one?
Light Knight
Holy. Holy.
Big Boot
Can. Can you use it in a sentence?
Madam Mind
Okay, you guys, I'm actually seeing on his resume that his brain did get scrambled by the scrambler in the last battle. I think he did have a pretty down the middle superpower before. And this is just. Thank you so much for coming in, buddy. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Captain obviously.
Light Knight
And we'll call you. And that should be obvious that you're not cast.
Big Boot
Yeah, I mean, obviously, like if he's gonna get. If he's gonna get ruined by kind of like a low rent villain like the Scrambler. Like, come on, he just said yes.
Madam Mind
Like he got it.
Light Knight
The scrambler does. Doordash.
Madam Mind
I can see the Captain Obvious calling his mom from the wing saying that he got it. Yes.
Big Boot
I'm gonna be on towel.
Madam Mind
Uh oh. Uh oh.
Big Boot
Oh, boy, that's rough.
Light Knight
One, two, three, four.
Madam Mind
Hate riddle.
Big Boot
Riddles. Clue crew, listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle riddle.
Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #315: Calling All Heroes!
Release Date: March 21, 2025
Introduction
In the latest Patreon Preview episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, titled "Calling All Heroes!", hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan dive into a humorous and imaginative skit centered around superhero team dynamics and the audition process for new members. This episode offers listeners a blend of witty banter, character-driven comedy, and playful interactions that showcase the trio's improvisational prowess.
Team Dynamics and Past Events
The episode opens with Light Knight setting up a camera to record auditions for the superhero team TOWEL (The Order Who Eventually Loses). Joined by his teammates, Madam Mind and Big Boot, the conversation quickly reveals underlying tensions and past mishaps within the team.
Madam Mind expresses frustration over accidentally reading Light Knight's thoughts, saying, "I just heard something that kind of hurt my feelings" ([00:33]).
Big Boot attempts to ease the tension by introducing himself: "I'm Big Boot... I've got big boots" ([01:15]). However, Madam Mind picks up on his insecurities, noting, "He’s really... kind of insecure" ([01:29]).
A humorous backstory unfolds as Big Boot and Madam Mind reminisce about a past event where their personal entanglements led to missing a critical battle, resulting in the loss of team members:
Madam Mind explains, "We slept in the next day, and we missed a battle. And everyone else died" ([04:31]).
Light Knight confirms, "Everyone else was lost" ([04:37]).
This revelation sets the stage for their current mission to recruit new heroes to bolster their ranks.
Audition Process and Internal Struggles
As the team prepares for auditions, tensions remain high, and the trio discusses the need to set ground rules to function effectively:
Big Boot suggests, "We need to set some ground rules with the three of us" ([03:37]).
Madam Mind adds, "We need to start working together a little better" ([03:48]).
The conversation showcases the team's attempts to navigate their quirks and past mistakes while striving for cohesion.
Meanwhile, Light Knight humorously laments his costume choice under the heat of his light-based powers:
This lighthearted moment underscores the group's camaraderie and ability to laugh at themselves despite the challenges they face.
Audition Spotlight: Captain Obvious
The focal point of the episode revolves around the audition of a superhero named Captain Obvious. The team introduces him with anticipation, only for his performance to fall flat:
Captain Obvious struggles to present his abilities, stammering through his introduction: "What's one plus one?" ([08:18]).
Madam Mind remarks, "Your superhero name kind of goes without saying" ([07:13]), highlighting the redundancy of his persona.
Throughout the audition, the team employs their unique dynamic to critique and humorously dissect Captain Obvious's lackluster display:
Big Boot points out, "We can't see you from where you're standing" ([06:46]), poking fun at Captain Obvious's unclear positioning on stage.
Madam Mind sarcastically comments on his performance, "I actually am pretty confused about what your thing is, Captain Obvious" ([07:13]).
The episode culminates with the team deciding not to cast Captain Obvious, underscoring their high standards and the comedic portrayal of an underwhelming hero audition.
Humorous Interactions and Character Chemistry
The episode is rich with comedic exchanges that highlight the chemistry between the hosts:
Madam Mind teases Big Boot about his insecurities, saying, "About big boot, small penis" ([05:01]), eliciting laughter from the group.
The trio engages in playful banter about their past threesome, blending humor with character backstory: "We folded in it. ... We s'moreed" ([04:48]).
These interactions not only provide laughs but also deepen the listeners' connection to the characters, showcasing the hosts' improvisational talents.
Conclusion and Teasers for Future Episodes
As the audition segment wraps up, Madam Mind hints at future developments by mentioning that Goldeneye's son is auditioning later in the day, adding intrigue and setting up anticipation for upcoming episodes:
The episode concludes with the team addressing the audience directly, encouraging them to continue supporting the show:
Notable Quotes
Light Knight: "This is auditions for the super superhero group towel. Of course. TOWEL is an acronym for the Order Who Eventually Loses." ([02:29])
Madam Mind: "We slept in the next day, and we missed a battle. And everyone else died." ([04:31])
Big Boot: "I wish Goldeneye was still alive because he was the one that could stop you from reading our minds." ([05:28])
Madam Mind: "I am pretty confused about what your thing is, Captain Obvious." ([07:13])
Final Thoughts
"Calling All Heroes!" offers a delightful mix of humor, character development, and creative storytelling. Through the mock audition process and the dynamic interplay between Light Knight, Madam Mind, and Big Boot, Hey Riddle Riddle continues to entertain its audience with clever improvisation and relatable team dynamics. Fans can look forward to more engaging content and further adventures of the TOWEL team in upcoming episodes.
Enjoyed this summary? Support the Clue Crew and unlock weekly bonus episodes at Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle.