Patreon Preview #327: Three Funerals

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle: Patreon Preview #327 - "Three Funerals"

Release Date: June 13, 2025

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Introduction and Context

In this special Patreon preview episode titled "Three Funerals," the hosts of Hey Riddle Riddle—Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan—take a departure from their usual riddle-solving antics to navigate the somber yet humor-infused scenario of Aaron's funeral. The episode blends their characteristic wit with heartfelt moments, creating a unique listening experience that balances comedy with reflection.

Planning the Funeral

The episode opens with JPC (John Patrick Coan) and Aaron arriving at the funeral venue, immediately setting a heavy yet comedic tone.

• JPC (00:12): "This is a tough day. Aaron's funeral, that's. I mean, wow. Heavy, heavy stuff."
• Aaron (00:19): "Yeah, it's. It doesn't. I think it hasn't sunk in yet."

The hosts discuss the sensitive topic of Aaron's age at the time of his passing, debating whether to reveal his actual age or the age he preferred to present to others.

• JPC (00:30): "Are we committing to continuing the podcast?"
• Aaron (00:31): "Oh, well, no, I feel like we better talk about that later."
• JPC (00:45): "Are we telling people or are people kind of... Are we going with the age that she was or the age that she told people she was?"

They decide to "split the difference," settling on the age 47, highlighting their attempt to balance honesty with sensitivity.

Interactions with the Boston Relatives

As the hosts prepare for the service, they encounter Aaron's Boston relatives, portrayed humorously as a tailgating crowd grilling Dunkin' Donuts—a nod to Boston's infamous café culture.

• JPC (01:16): "We'll put the Boston relatives in the parking lot on the way in."
• Aaron (01:22): "Yeah, they're sort of a tailgating."

The conversation turns to the relatives' derogatory remarks, delivered in a thick Boston accent, leading to comedic discomfort.

• JPC (01:38): "It's the accent I can't quite get past because I was sure that what they were calling me were slurs, but they were words that I've never heard before."
• Aaron (01:43): "You know, I got called a tiddly dunk. I don't know what a tiddly dunk is, but it sounds."

Humorous Exchanges with Father Henry

Father Henry, the officiant, makes an appearance, prompting a series of lighthearted and irreverent exchanges that showcase the hosts' comedic chemistry.

• Father Henry (03:28): "Hey, guys. Wicked sad day, huh? I'm Father Henry. I'm gonna be doing the service this evening."
• JPC (03:34): "Oh, yeah. I genuflect. I kiss your rings."

The interaction escalates when Father Henry reprimands them for their irreverence:

• Father Henry (03:46): "You don't bite. What Catholic church are you biting a priest's fingers, you weirdo?"
• Aaron (03:52): "Yeah, there's those ones where they, like, handle snakes and shit."

Their banter continues as they discuss their unconventional plans for the funeral service:

• JPC (04:48): "We were going to sing mariachi band, which is Traditionally, pretty much just music, but we were going to kind of like, we're going to kind of like freestyle lyrics on top."
• Father Henry (05:01): "Not appropriate for a funeral, huh?"
• Aaron (05:03): "We're gonna freestyle. We're not gonna sing Mariachi songs. It's gonna be like Hamilton. It's gonna be like Hamilton."

The priest's skepticism leads to a humorous offer:

• Father Henry (05:10): "Oh, that's worse. I'm gonna give you guys these altar boy outfits. You're gonna have to wear them if you want to speak at the funeral."

Controversy Over Funeral Details

The hosts delve into the peculiarities of Aaron's will and funeral preferences, blending absurdity with dark humor.

• Father Henry (05:37): "Who's crying the most at the funeral, it's in her will that they get the sweater."
• JPC (05:43): "So."
• Aaron (05:44): "Off her corpse or."
• Father Henry (05:48): "No, she's not wearing it now. She's."

This segment underscores their ability to infuse humor into otherwise solemn topics, keeping the tone light despite the setting.

Final Remarks and Closure

As the service concludes, Father Henry delivers a traditional eulogy that starkly contrasts with the hosts' comedic undertones, bringing a semblance of closure to the episode.

• Father Henry (09:28): "Thank you all for gathering here today to celebrate the life and times of Erin Teresa Keefe, born in 1991, November 10th, in Boston, Massachusetts."
• JPC (09:50): "Big laugh from the crowd."
• Father Henry (09:54): "To a loving family."

The episode wraps up with a humorous note, encouraging listeners to continue their journey with the show.

• JPC (10:02): "Hate Riddle Riddle's clue crew listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com/heyriddleriddle."

Key Takeaways and Insights

• Balancing Humor and Sensitivity: The episode exemplifies how Hey Riddle Riddle navigates the fine line between comedy and respect, especially in sensitive contexts like a funeral.

• Character Dynamics: The playful interactions between JPC and Aaron highlight their strong comedic chemistry, while the interactions with Father Henry introduce a dynamic of authority versus irreverence.

• Cultural References: The hosts incorporate regional humor (e.g., Boston accents, Dunkin' Donuts) and pop culture (e.g., "Hamilton") to add layers to their jokes, making the content relatable and engaging.

• Audience Engagement: By blending narrative storytelling with their signature humor, the hosts create an immersive experience that captivates both regular listeners and newcomers.

Notable Quotes

• JPC (00:12): "This is a tough day. Aaron's funeral, that's. I mean, wow. Heavy, heavy stuff."

• Aaron (00:31): "Oh, well, no, I feel like we better talk about that later."

• JPC (01:38): "It's the accent I can't quite get past because I was sure that what they were calling me were slurs, but they were words that I've never heard before."

• Father Henry (03:46): "You don't bite. What Catholic church are you biting a priest's fingers, you weirdo?"

• JPC (04:48): "We were going to sing mariachi band, which is Traditionally, pretty much just music, but we were going to kind of like, we're going to kind of like freestyle lyrics on top."

• Father Henry (05:10): "Oh, that's worse. I'm gonna give you guys these altar boy outfits. You're gonna have to wear them if you want to speak at the funeral."

Conclusion

"Three Funerals" showcases Hey Riddle Riddle's unique ability to blend humor with unexpected scenarios, providing listeners with a refreshing twist on their typical content. Through witty dialogue, cultural humor, and a touch of irreverence, the hosts deliver an episode that is both entertaining and thought-provoking, demonstrating their versatility as comedians and storytellers.

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For more engaging episodes and exclusive content, join the Clue Crew at Patreon.com/HeyRiddleRiddle.

Transcript

[JPC]

Oh, man. Hey, it's good to see you.

[Aaron]

Good to see you. Jpc.

[JPC]

This is a tough day. Aaron's funeral, that's. I mean, wow. Heavy, heavy stuff.

[Aaron]

Yeah, it's. It doesn't. I think it hasn't sunk in yet.

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah. For me as well. Hey, I. I was thinking about this on the way over here. Are we committing.

[Aaron]

Continuing the podcast?

[JPC]

Oh, well, no, I feel like we better talk about that later. Sure. I was gonna ask, are we telling people or are people kind of. Are we going with the age that she was or the age that she told people she was?

[Aaron]

I think we split the difference, so. 47.

[JPC]

47. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That feels right. Maybe I just won't get too specific with it because that's even sadder. Right. To talk about the. The age.

[Aaron]

Yeah. And. Oh, sorry, let me. Pop test, test one, two. Pop test, test. Sorry. She said. She said everything's content, so I know she wanted to have.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

It'll be a podcast.

[JPC]

So we'll put the Boston relatives in the parking lot on the way in.

[Aaron]

Yeah, they're sort of a tailgating.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

They're grilling Dunkin Donuts, which, I don't know, it seems a little crude.

[JPC]

It's the accent I can't quite get past because I was sure that what they were calling me were slurs, but they were words that I've never heard before. Yeah, they definitely felt derogatory. And I got that, like, it hurt my soul to hear, but I just never heard the words before.

[Aaron]

You know, I got called a tiddly dunk. I don't know what a tiddly dunk is, but it sounds.

[JPC]

Yeah, it sounds hateful, right? Yeah.

[Aaron]

The way it sounds said, the way they.

[JPC]

The way that they say it.

[Aaron]

I also feel bad cuz I laughed because, you know, Aaron's family was like, no, don't put my daughter on the ground, or whatever the Boston accent sounds like.

[JPC]

And I was like, something like that. I was like, can't do it.

[Aaron]

It sounds so stupid when you like my baby girl to do it, you.

[JPC]

Know, it's like, oh, no, my. My baby girl.

[Aaron]

Yeah, park the casket at Hava Tamara or whatever. Like, it just sounds stupid.

[JPC]

By the way, we're kind of drawing a crowd and they're loving it. So, like, keep going, my man. We're like, definitely the funniest guys at this wedding or whatever this is.

[Aaron]

Should we start a weekend at Bernie's errand for some of these? Because I feel like, oh, I thought.

[JPC]

It was going to be a closed casket. I'll try to open it.

[Aaron]

I think closed within was in parentheses.

[JPC]

So it's like a. I couldn't tell because it was a voice memo if it was a closed casket or they were saying that she's wearing clothes in the casket. But either way, I'm opening the casket.

[Aaron]

I also feel like. Are you going to get up and speak at all? I just want to make sure we're not covering the same.

[JPC]

Yeah, I'm going to do a type 5. I'm going to do crowd work mostly, though.

[Aaron]

Are you going to bring up the fact that Aaron died by walking up to Joshua Jackson, slipping on a loose stick of butter, gliding for two miles on straight asphalt before being hit by a runaway horse, being ridden by a monkey?

[JPC]

Oh, my God. I wasn't really gonna mention that. The newspaper just said it was a funny death. I didn't actually hear about all the details.

[Aaron]

Yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

And the obituary just said funny. It was like when they typed out ha ha ha ha. I was like, wow, this must be really funny because the obit writer is like, ha ha ha. Laughing.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Father Henry]

Hey, guys. Wicked sad day, huh? I'm Father Henry. I'm gonna be doing the service this evening.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah. I genuflect. I kiss your rings.

[Father Henry]

Ouch.

[JPC]

Kiss your rings.

[Father Henry]

Ow.

[JPC]

Sorry. Kiss the rings. We're not Boston Catholics. I know, I know. So we don't understand kind of all the.

[Father Henry]

You don't bite. What Catholic church are you biting a priest's fingers, you weirdo?

[Aaron]

Yeah, there's those ones where they, like, handle snakes and shit.

[Father Henry]

So what?

[Aaron]

You know the churches where they, like, pull out snakes and they're like, look at this snake.

[JPC]

Yeah, Like Pentecostal Catholics.

[Father Henry]

Catholic church.

[JPC]

Pentecostal. It's all Christian. Right.

[Father Henry]

The family wants to know if you two plan on speaking.

[Aaron]

We're just gonna do, like, a Thai five.

[JPC]

Yeah. Which. Which family? Because I know that this is, like, Boston. We talking about, like.

[Aaron]

Yeah, we have. What was her.

[JPC]

The five families.

[Aaron]

What was the. What was the guy. The last.

[Father Henry]

Whitey Bulger.

[Aaron]

All the. He had all the different families.

[JPC]

We're talking about Smoots.

[Aaron]

The Smoots.

[JPC]

Smoots, that's right.

[Father Henry]

Yeah. The Smoots want to know if you are going to speak and if it's going to be appropriate because, you know, the funeral. We want to be appropriate. I'm only asking you guys that because of the way you dressed.

[Aaron]

It's not funeral mariachi band outfits.

[Father Henry]

Yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

We were going to sing mariachi band, which is Traditionally, pretty much just music, but we were going to kind of like. We're going to kind of like freestyle lyrics on top.

[Father Henry]

Yeah, but you guys are not from Mexico, so this feels a little culturally insensitive.

[JPC]

Oh, no.

[Father Henry]

Not appropriate for a funeral, huh?

[Aaron]

We're gonna free. We're not. We're not gonna sing Mary actually songs. It's gonna be like a freestyle like JPC said, but like Hamilton. It's gonna be like Hamilton.

[Father Henry]

Oh, that's worse. I'm gonna give you guys these altar boy outfits. You're gonna have to wear them if you want to speak at the funeral.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Father Henry]

Put these on, Father. Yep.

[Aaron]

We just want to make sure we couldn't get the casket open. We just want to make sure she was not open. Sweater. Was she buried in the sweater?

[Father Henry]

Actually, I'm not supposed to say anything, but whoever cries the most at the funeral, it's in her will that they get the sweater.

[JPC]

So.

[Aaron]

Off her corpse or.

[Father Henry]

No, she's not wearing it now. She's.

[Aaron]

That's what? Well, answer the first question.

[Father Henry]

Okay. Well, does she.

[Aaron]

Wait, you want prize hardest?

[Father Henry]

You weirdo. You pervert. You want a sweater that's just been on a dead body? I can get you one.

[Aaron]

I feel seen. Weirdo.

[JPC]

Pervert.

[Aaron]

Someone listens to the show.

[Father Henry]

Okay, okay. All right. That's just. I'm not going to tell you what else is in her will, but she has certain things that she wanted to happen at her funeral.

[JPC]

Hey, Father. And we didn't eat because we thought it said come having had. And we did the other thing.

[Father Henry]

You didn't eat?

[JPC]

No, we.

[Father Henry]

You didn't even have any of the grilled donuts in the parking lot? The tailgating out there?

[JPC]

We didn't trust those. Do you have any?

[Father Henry]

They're drinking gin and tonics and eating grilled fried frosting donuts.

[JPC]

Do you have any of those priests? Those thin little wafers?

[Father Henry]

The wafers. The body of Christ?

[Aaron]

No, no, we don't wafers.

[JPC]

What? That. We just want the thin crackers.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Pre body. Pre body.

[Father Henry]

I guess. I guess I can give you the wafers, but they're not blessed, so. They're not the body of Christ. They're just wafers.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Father Henry]

And they're not going to fill you up.

[Aaron]

It's like when it becomes the body of Christ, it's like eucalyptus or something. Yeah, eucalyptus.

[JPC]

The eucalyptus. It goes through the eucalyptus.

[Aaron]

The eucalyptus.

[Father Henry]

Eucharists.

[Aaron]

Yeah, same thing. Koalas.

[JPC]

Hey, your. Your party, not mine.

[Father Henry]

Okay, well. And you can't have any of the wine.

[Aaron]

Oh, come on.

[JPC]

Was this open to the public, or was this invite only? Because I'm not. I mean, I'm obviously seeing, like, Aaron's kind of, like, Boston family, but I'm not seeing, like, friends. Did she.

[Father Henry]

Did she have friends?

[JPC]

Well, she always said that she had competition. I don't necessarily.

[Father Henry]

Did she say that?

[JPC]

No. That. Yeah, she did. Yes. Yes, she did. Yes, Father, she did. I don't necessarily know that she ever called me.

[Father Henry]

Lying is a sin, friends.

[JPC]

Oh, well, then Aaron's going to hell. Father.

[Father Henry]

Hey.

[JPC]

Sorry to say.

[Father Henry]

Hey.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. That's your.

[Father Henry]

Wait, what'd she lie about?

[JPC]

Age.

[Father Henry]

Yeah, she died at a very young. 33.

[Aaron]

You took. You took money. You took money. You just lied, Father. You just lied.

[Father Henry]

No.

[JPC]

Yeah. And she stops 33, too. Father Wink. We all know he was.

[Father Henry]

He was sure.

[Aaron]

Wink.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah. 33. Yeah. Okay.

[Father Henry]

He was.

[JPC]

Yeah. And I'm 33. I'm 36. Father Wink.

[Father Henry]

All right, I don't know what you guys are on about, but the family wanted you to go first, so they seem sane.

[JPC]

Everybody wanted us to go first.

[Aaron]

I understand that her family wanted us to go first, but that's not how.

[JPC]

You don't get to pick, like, unless you're, like, an assassin, you know?

[Father Henry]

Right. You guys are not gonna continue the podcast without her. That would be insane. She's sort of the heart of the show.

[Aaron]

Oh.

[JPC]

Huh.

[Father Henry]

How could you think of anyone who's someone who could replace her brother?

[JPC]

Well, yeah, we could do.

[Father Henry]

Dang it.

[JPC]

Olivia Nielsen. Just anyone that Aaron considered competition, I think would be a good.

[Father Henry]

Okay, I guess everyone was on a team with Olivia Nielsen. Really good. Leila Gorstein would also probably be a good.

[JPC]

Leila Gorstein would be awesome.

[Aaron]

Father. I saw on the program that Mitch is going to carry the casket. He's the sole pallbearer. Is that. Can he.

[Father Henry]

Yar. Aaron thought it would be funny.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Father Henry]

She's gonna be really high up. Yeah, because he's six, seven. You know, I'm gonna get. I'm gonna just take your seats. You guys maybe sit in the front row. Don't bother the family, though. They're going through enough. So we don't have special seats. Yeah, yeah. You have to wear parka.

[JPC]

I thought we would at least make it to the de. Do we not get to be up on stage?

[Father Henry]

No, no. Unless you're talking. Okay, so here we go.

[Aaron]

I'll pop up. Oh, go ahead, Father.

[Father Henry]

Thank you all for gathering here today to celebrate the life and times of Erin Teresa Keefe, born in 1991, November 10th. Sure wink in Boston, Massachusetts.

[JPC]

Big laugh from the crowd.

[Aaron]

Everyone knows. Everyone.

[JPC]

Everyone knows. Everyone knows.

[Father Henry]

To a loving family.

[Aaron]

Big laugh from the crowd, mostly from her family.

[JPC]

1, 2, 3, 4 Hate Riddle Riddle's clue crew listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddleriddle.