D (2:50)

We call it the bbl. And it's one of the more evasive cryptids you can find. The Everglades are a wonderful condition to hide in. You have marshy, swampy waters. You have tall grass. There's also. There's so many nooks and crannies.

B (3:06)

Hot, wet, above the water, under the water.

C (3:09)

Obviously, this is personal for me. My dad, Citizen Kane, died trying to find the bbl. Sort of his life's work.

B (3:19)

Hey, Nova. He didn't die trying to find the bbl. That's how he lived.

D (3:25)

Wow.

C (3:26)

Thank you. That means.

D (3:27)

But didn't he die looking for it?

B (3:29)

Yeah, sorry.

D (3:30)

Didn't he die?

C (3:31)

Yeah, I guess technically, yeah. But I think he was trying to. It's fine.

B (3:35)

What I was trying to do was frame it.

D (3:37)

Oh, yeah, yeah.

B (3:38)

So, like. Yeah. But no, he. Yeah, he did.

D (3:41)

His last word was rosebud, which he scrawled on a leaf.

B (3:46)

Yeah.

C (3:46)

Do you think that that's relevant? We're gonna keep that in mind when we're looking for the bbl. He sort of left behind some clues. And the last thing I said, I.

B (3:55)

Think it was probably because his name was Citizen Kane.

D (3:59)

Yeah. Probably just the tip of the hat to the movie.

C (4:02)

Yeah. I don't know. He. The last thing he said to me was, I think I'm going to find it today. I'm getting close. If I die, someone stopped me from finding it.

B (4:14)

So wait, he said, if I die, someone stopped me from finding it. Not somebody stopped me. I'll. The mask.

C (4:23)

He said it. He said it like Jim Carrey in.

D (4:25)

The Mask, but somebody stop me like that.

C (4:30)

Yeah, he said it just like that. Suspicious.

B (4:33)

Well, I mean, we're out here taking our life into our own hands, but we are trained, seasoned professionals. The bbl, it's venomous. It's also poisonous, so it ejects venom. And if you bite into it, there's poison in there.

D (4:48)

Two different things.

B (4:48)

So it's two different things. It's like magma and lava. It's one of the. And it's got magma and lava as well. I think it's one of the most dangerous apex predators in all of cryptozoology.

D (5:00)

Yeah. We know more about aliens than we do the bbo.

B (5:04)

It's crazy that as a species, humans, we know more about the humble alien than we do the bbl, which lives here on our planet in the Everglades.

D (5:15)

And ever since we found that humble alien at the crash site, I Feel like, what a sweetheart.

C (5:23)

Like, oh, my God, he was so sweet. He was like, oh, my God, no, my ship's not even that impressive. You guys, though, like, the stuff you've. The art you've made on Earth, like, that was so sweet.

B (5:33)

We were like, we found an alien and he was all, who, me?

C (5:37)

Yeah, he did sort of like the Shirley Temple. Like, who me? Little O me?

B (5:42)

He cleaned up the whole crash site.

D (5:44)

He cleaned up the whole crash site. And he goes, I don't want to be a problem. And he also, he brought. He brought a veggie tray from his home planet because he was like, I never come to another planet empty handed. That's just rude. So I feel like the humble alien. We thought about trying to catch him, but technically not a cryptid. Also just a sweetheart, so we're not going to trouble him.

B (6:04)

Yeah, a total sweetheart. Capable of speech.

C (6:07)

And Donkey, can you talk a little bit about.

B (6:10)

It's Donkey Fornia. Sorry, yeah, Just. Yeah, just use my whole cryptozoology name, like, because what we said was for branding. For branding.

C (6:19)

That was sort of like a fun nickname. What if I call you Donk?

B (6:24)

Well, it's Donkey Fornia.

D (6:26)

That's like calling Cryptid hunters cunts.

B (6:28)

Yeah, it's the place I was conceived, plus the first animal that bit me. It's like important for, like.

C (6:32)

All right, well, we're shooting this on film and we'll have to keep this in.

D (6:34)

So what ratio?

B (6:37)

What race am I?

C (6:38)

70?

B (6:39)

What?

C (6:41)

Donkey Fournia, can you talk a little bit about the history of the bbl? Like, obviously people for hundreds of years have claimed sightings and stuff, but, like, tell us a little bit about the background.

B (6:52)

The BBL goes back into the 15th century when I want to say Magellan or possibly Cortez, was in this part of the world searching for something called the Fountain of Youth. You see?

C (7:07)

Fountain of Youth.

D (7:08)

Fountain of Youth.

B (7:10)

Holy shit, that was cool. Keep. Yeah, do that. Definitely keep doing that. Locals had long held a legend that there was something in these swamps that gives eternal life, but it was protected by a creature that could bring eternal death.

C (7:25)

Eternal death.

B (7:26)

Now, yes, it's just regular death. Yeah, yeah. All death is all that is. Well, there is. But anyway, the creature was very, very deadly. Now, the BBL is, of course, a big bug lizard. Now, I know what you're thinking. How can a lizard be a bug? And how can a bug be a big donk?

C (7:49)

How can a lizard be a bug?

B (7:52)

A lizard can be a bug if it's both.

D (7:55)

Mmm, Fascinating.

B (7:57)

This thing has arms. This thing has wings.

D (8:03)

It has exoskeleton intro skeleton.

B (8:05)

Both Indochinos.

D (8:10)

It drinks Topo. Chico.

B (8:11)

Topo. Chico. This thing's got almost everything. Antennae, pincers, cold blood.

C (8:21)

A girlfriend, we assume.

B (8:24)

Unless this thing is eternal because there's no proof that it's reproducing. It could be the only one that actually exists out here in this swamp.

D (8:33)

The last of its kind.

C (8:34)

And that's pretty common in our field. We don't have a family of Bigfoot. Big feet, if you will. We have one Bigfoot. We don't have a family of Loch Ness monsters. We have a Loch Ness monster.

B (8:48)

Yeah.

D (8:48)

We thought there was, you know, a bevy of chupacabras, but it was just one Chupacabra.

B (8:55)

People ask, how could this be? Are these creatures, you know, unkillable? Do they live forever? That may be the case. The guess. It's anyone's guess. There's research, of course, in the field. The theory that most cryptozoologists work with is that these creatures have super traditional family structures in that the wife most often stays home, where the male would go out and forage and gather. So. So we'll never see like a female Chupacabra because they're at home.

C (9:34)

Well, unless you watch Sex and the City, in which case you'll see four.

D (9:41)

That's what HBO isn't telling you. Four women are chupacabras.

C (9:45)

Think back.

D (9:47)

Remember every time I was eating, that was a goat.

B (9:50)

Now, chupacabras are goat suckers. And I know one of them. That was definitely a goat sucker. Samantha.

D (9:57)

Samantha was the goat of suckers.

B (9:59)

Of sucker. Of suckers. Of suckers.

D (10:01)

Could have taught a class on it.

B (10:05)

1, 2, 3, 4. Hey, Riddle. Riddle's Clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle Riddle.

E (10:23)

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