Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #340: The Cryptid Hunters

Release Date: September 12, 2025
Hosts/Characters:

• Adal Rifai (as Chris "Donkey Fornia" Crumbs)
• Erin Keif (as Nova Kane)
• John Patrick Coan (as Tusk Rutger)

Overview

In this Patreon preview, the Hey Riddle Riddle crew dives deep into the world of cryptozoology, improv-style. The episode transforms the trio into "the legendary Cryptid Hunters" on assignment in the Everglades, seeking the elusive "BBL"—the Big Bug Lizard, an apex predator in their mythos. The gang's banter, character backstories, and playful skewering of cryptid lore sets the stage for a riddle-filled, comedic adventure, punctuated by riffs on classic legends, pop culture, and each other.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Character Introductions & Team Dynamics

• The group introduces themselves as a tongue-in-cheek, dysfunctional cryptid hunting crew:
  • Chris "Donkey Fornia" Crumbs (Adal): The confident leader and namesake (donkey + California), focused on branding.
  • Nova Kane (Erin): "The young gun," living in her cryptid-hunting father’s shadow, sporting a vest and many tattoos, emotionally invested due to her father's legacy.
  • Tusk Rutger (JPC): The supposed "grizzled vet" with a dubious military background—served one day in the National Guard but kicked out for taking flash photos; claims a "purple heart (condition)."

Memorable Quote:

"I was disgrace to military."
— Tusk Rutger (01:26)

Notable Banter:

• Ongoing riff regarding Tusk's supposed military accolades and the real meaning behind his "purple heart" (01:44–02:07).
• Nova’s dad, “Citizen Kane,” and the play on his death and mysterious final words, referencing the movie Citizen Kane ("His last word was rosebud, which he scrawled on a leaf." – 03:41).

2. Mission Brief: The Hunt for the BBL (Big Bug Lizard)

• The crew is in the Everglades searching for the legendary BBL, described with feverish detail—combining bug and lizard traits, highly venomous and poisonous, and shrouded in Everglades mystery.

Key Details:

• The BBL both injects venom and is poisonous if eaten (04:33–04:48).
• The BBL purportedly “has magma and lava as well,” spoofing science misunderstandings (04:48–05:00).
• Riff on cryptid knowledge vs. alien knowledge:

  "We know more about aliens than we do the BBL." — Tusk (05:00)

Comic Moment:

• Side tangent about meeting a polite, endearing alien who tidies up after himself and brings a veggie tray (05:15–06:04).

3. Backstory & Lore of the BBL

• Donkey Fornia narrates local and quasi-historical legends about the BBL, referencing explorers like Magellan and Cortez and the Fountain of Youth. The BBL is supposedly both a blessing (eternal life) and a curse (eternal death).

Notable Quotes:

"The locals had long held a legend that there was something in these swamps that gives eternal life, but it was protected by a creature that could bring eternal death."
— Donkey Fornia (07:07)

• Comedic confusion over what “eternal death” means, quickly realizing it’s just “regular death” (07:25–07:26).

Fun Character Play:

• Nova wonders if the BBL has a girlfriend; the team speculates if the BBL is the last of its kind, joking about how cryptids are always solitary—with a humorous aside about Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, and Chupacabra being lone anomalies (08:24–09:34).

4. Cryptid Gender, Family Structures & Pop Culture Tangent

• Donkey Fornia posits a (jokingly) academic theory that cryptid families follow “super traditional family structures,” with female cryptids staying home—leading to a Sex and the City riff.

• Joke highlight:

  “Well, unless you watch Sex and the City, in which case you'll see four.” — Nova Kane (09:34)
  “That's what HBO isn't telling you. Four women are chupacabras.” — Tusk Rutger (09:41)

• Samantha is described as the “goat of suckers”—more double entendre than zoological fact (09:57).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the BBL’s Biological Makeup:

  “This thing has arms. This thing has wings.” — Donkey Fornia (07:57)
  “It has exoskeleton, intro skeleton.” — Tusk Rutger (08:03)

• Running Gag:

  “It drinks Topo Chico.” — Both (08:10–08:11)

• Pop Culture Crossover:

  “Remember every time I was eating, that was a goat.” — Tusk Rutger, referring to Sex and the City (09:47)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:47 – Introduction of the Cryptid Hunters and the Everglades mission
• 01:26 – Tusk Rutger’s “military” background explained
• 02:22 – Setting up the quest for the BBL and Nova’s personal stake
• 03:41 – Citizen Kane “rosebud” joke and the theme of legacy
• 04:33–05:00 – BBL’s unique and dangerous biology
• 05:15–06:04 – The humble alien digression—good-natured extraterrestrial
• 06:41–07:55 – Lore and pseudo-history of the BBL
• 08:24–09:34 – On cryptids being unique, solitary creatures
• 09:34–09:59 – Sex and the City/Chupacabra crossover jokes

Episode Flow & Tone

• High-energy improv, blending absurd cryptid mythmaking with sharp, fast-paced banter.
• Playful deconstruction of cryptid tropes and conventions.
• Frequent pop culture references and running gags—Sex and the City, Citizen Kane, military faux pas.
• Characters frequently blur the line between genuine dedication and knowing mockery.

For the Uninitiated

This episode offers a zany, character-driven sendup of cryptid-hunting TV shows, peppered with whip-smart jokes and affectionate lampooning of myth, legend, and the team’s own fictional personas. If you’re looking for puzzles or riddles, it’s light here—but heavy on the laughs and absurd storytelling.