Patreon Preview #348: The Comments Section

Summary

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Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #348: The Comments Section

Release Date: November 7, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai (A), Erin Keif (B), John Patrick Coan/JPC (C)
Theme: Improv Scenes Inspired by Internet Comments

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Episode Overview

This Patreon preview introduces a new mini-series concept: creating improv comedy scenes inspired by real internet comments. The hosts, Adal, Erin, and JPC, blend their trademark irreverence with meta-commentary about online culture and nostalgia. Rather than traditional riddles or puzzles, the trio uses bizarre and poignant user comments—starting with YouTube—to prompt spontaneous comedic sketches.

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Key Discussion Points & Improv Scene Breakdowns

Brainstorming and Bridging to the Theme

• [02:11-05:41]
  • Erin recalls suggesting improv based on internet comments, and Adal gave it a name ("The Comments Section").
  • The group riffs on what exactly counts as a "great comment"—from YouTube to Quora and beyond.
  • Adal clarifies: “We’re going to use these Internet comments as inspiration for improv scenes. Okay, so this is very loose. This is supposed to be fun.” ([03:28], Adal)
  • Notable quote:
    • “Who would win in a battle between an angel and a battleship?” – JPC, illustrating the bizarre edge of Quora ([05:25])

Example Comments as Prompts

• [05:41-06:52]
  • Adal introduces actual YouTube comments to inspire an improv.
    • “Nostalgia is the best and worst feeling at the same time.”
    • “Isn’t it funny? That day to day, nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.” – (C.S. Lewis, cited by a commenter)

Guess-the-Song Moment

• [06:26-07:12]
  • Before the improv, the group attempts to identify the Coldplay song based on the melancholy, nostalgic comments.
    • JPC: “The Scientist.”
    • Erin: “No.”
    • JPC (trying again): “Yellow?” Adal: “No.”
    • JPC: “Shit, Clocks?”
    • Adal: “Nope. Think more obvious.”
    • Answer: “Viva la Vida” ([07:10])

Improv Scene: Annoyingly Sentimental Early Thanksgiving

• [07:18-09:28]
  • JPC plays a host thankful for “all the kickballs I have, all my windows in my house.”
  • Erin and Adal join, each riffing on increasingly absurd gratitude (“Rocket Money” sponsorship bit; windows as a recurring gag).
  • Notable quote:
    • “That could buy me so many new windows.” – JPC ([08:16])
  • Scene blends a parody commercial with a Thanksgiving vibe.

Improv Scene: Lion-in-the-House Gift Exchange

• [09:28-11:23]
  • Erin gifts JPC a cashmere sweater, but it's inside a lion’s mouth.
  • JPC: “It’s covered in lion inside.”
  • Adal: “Yeah, but it’s $50 and it’s cashmere.”
  • Scene transitions into quick-fire commentary on quality lions vs. quality sweaters, and culminates in JPC being attacked and Erin admiring the sweater despite his peril.
  • “Now I will tame this lion. Oh. Oh, he’s got my leg. At least my cashmere jacket looks nice from Quince.” – JPC ([11:12])

Improv Scene: The “Aged Wine” Disaster

• [11:28-16:17]
  • A couple (JPC and Erin) opens a bottle of Barefoot Zinfandel from their wedding year (2010).
  • The wine is terrible: it smells off, has visible sediment, and even triggers the carbon monoxide alarm.
    • JPC: “Is there a gas leak? What does that smell? Oh, the carbon monoxide detectors are going off.” ([13:30])
  • They look up online whether 15-year-old Barefoot is drinkable:
    • JPC (Erin reading the website): “Hi. If anyone can read this, I gave Barefoot wine to my 21 year old… and everyone’s dead... Please, everyone’s dead.” ([14:33])
  • Closing the sketch with their demise as a news headline read dryly by Adal:
    • “Local couple super dead from drinking a bottle of wine. More at 11.” ([16:06])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Meta-commentary on improv process:
  • “You’re listening for funny scenes. I’m listening for... one weird thing someone says or, let’s be honest, a noise that someone makes. I think it would be impossible to do both our things at the same time.” – Erin ([02:41])
• JPC’s cold read of internet virality:
  • “Was this like going to a Coldplay song and seeing comments like, ‘still listening to this in 2014?’” ([03:44])
• Coldplay fan parody:
  • “CS stood for Coldplay Stand, right? Yeah, Coldplay stand. Louis.” – JPC ([06:17])
• Parodying YouTube and Reddit logic:
  • “Navy here. Battleship.” – JPC, as though replying to an absurd Quora thread ([05:36])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Setup and Concept Discussion: [02:11-05:41]
• YouTube Comments as Prompts: [05:41-06:52]
• Coldplay Guess-the-Song: [06:26-07:12]
• Early Thanksgiving/Financial App Improv: [07:18-09:28]
• Lion/Sweater Gift Scene: [09:28-11:23]
• “Aged” Wine Improv Scene: [11:28-16:17]
• Notable Quotes & Parody Moments: [entire ep; highlights above]

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Tone & Style

The banter is rapid-fire, self-deprecating, and referential; the hosts blur the line between main content and targeted parody ads, often mocking their own sponsorships and podcasting tropes. Scenes spiral unpredictably from wholesome to absurd, with recurring jokes about windows, lions, and internet logic. The episode is meta in its humor, frequently referencing previous episodes and the supposed “rules” of good improv—only to break them for comic effect.

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Wrap-Up

This Patreon preview introduces a unique twist for Hey Riddle Riddle: improvising from the wild, relatable, and often nonsensical world of internet comments. With pitch-perfect irreverence and the hosts’ deep camaraderie, the episode is a treat for long-time listeners and a friendly entry point for newcomers who love improv and internet culture.

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Note: Timestamps begin after ad reads and into main content. "A", "B", and "C" correspond to Adal, Erin, and JPC, matching their roles in each scene and quote. Ads and promo sections have been intentionally omitted for clarity per instructions.

Transcript

[A]

Whoa, guys, that recording was crazy. We played all sorts of characters and my brain's like, we. Whoa. We. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I need to find a way to unwind. What to do, what to do, what to do.

[B]

Aaron, you are not wrong. That last recording that we did for the podcast. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. Was a doozy.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I sort of. I sort of like tweaked my back playing Kung Fu Shrimp. Remember that character Kung Fu Shrimp? I threw my back out. So I'm looking for, like, a natural way to, like, relieve aches and discomfort. You know, I'm not as young as I once was, but yeah, maybe. Oh, maybe like cornbread hemp CBD gummies, right? Feel like that's been a huge piece of my wellness plan recently.

[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Just take it from us. Take it from. What is it? Kung Fu shrimp.

[C]

Hello, I'm Kung Fu Shrimp. Everyone, let's chop these boards.

[A]

Adel, you're gonna really hurt yourself.

[C]

The surfboards.

[B]

Dedede. There we go. Oh, his back.

[A]

Oh, his back.

[C]

Give me another gummy. Another gummy, please.

[B]

Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8 only at McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery.

[A]

Sometime. Earlier this year, I brought up a concept of something I wanted to do and adle, you gave it a name. So. Welcome to our first episode of first Improv based on Internet comments. How we feeling, boys?

[B]

I vaguely remember this. Yep, I vaguely remember what this is, so. Cause Aaron, you're doing your re. Listen.

[A]

Yeah, tell. I hate my own voice and I'm my least favorite comedian.

[B]

I'm also doing a re. Listen. We're doing These, like, re. Listens. We're, like, dancing around each other. But I think that we're listening for very different things. Because you're listening for funny scenes. I'm listening for how to strip context away from, like, one weird thing that someone says or, let's be honest, a noise that someone makes. I think it would be impossible to do both our things at the same time. So I don't think we're actually covering duplicate grounds.

[A]

Yeah, my brain is not thinking about weird noises that people are making. I'm just trying to find really funny short scenes to put in between the scenes that people have already suggested for the best.

[B]

All this to say, I think we probably both listened to the same episode recently where whatever the Germanness of this idea came from.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[C]

So this is taking Internet comments and doing what with them?

[A]

We're gonna do improv scenes based on. We're gonna use these Internet comments as inspiration for improv scenes. Okay, so this is very loose. This is supposed to be fun.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Everyone sort of looks.

[B]

Was this like having, like, going to a Coldplay song and having someone comment, like, still listening to this in 2014? Is that the kind of. Exactly. Okay, okay.

[A]

JPC. An uncanny guess for what I'm about to do first. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. That's spooky as. All right, I don't like that at all.

[B]

I think. I think, honestly, I might just be remembering me saying that or someone saying that on an episode like, a year ago. So.

[A]

Yes. So let's do it. Well, actually, drop down and give me 10 push ups.

[C]

No, you can't do that.

[B]

At my age. That could kill me.

[C]

What am I, Sylvester Stallone?

[A]

All right, fine. Then we'll do. What is this?

[B]

Rocky First Blood Part 2? So Crazy Name for a movie.

[A]

I kind of already gave it away because I was gonna have it be like, you can guess what the YouTube video was. Oh, today we're gonna start our comments with YouTube videos. But if people know of a really insane comment section somewhere on the Internet, like a Reddit or a fanfiction or Quora Korra, like a Yelp review of something like, let me know. But today is YouTube video comment.

[C]

What's Quora? Seems wild.

[B]

There's a. There's a podcast. I've never listened to it, but I've listened to them guest on other podcasts called the Quorators, I believe. And it's just, like, people that really dig down deep into the Quora comments. But Quora is, like, crazy because it is just people asking questions.

[C]

So it's like, my son is 5. Can he bounce if I like. It's just the wildest shit I've ever seen.

[B]

Or like, hypothetical questions like, who would win in the battle between an angel and a battleship? And then there's people who are genuinely trying to answer those questions.

[C]

Navy here. Battleship. It's like, what are we talking about.

[A]

For this first episode? I'd say these are all pretty mild. I didn't pull anything super cuckoo bananas. But just to get us into it, sure. Here are some comments. And then maybe you can guess what Coldplay music video these are for. Nostalgia is the best and worst feeling at the same time. And then someone commented, isn't it funny? That day to day, nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. C.S. lewis.

[B]

People are commenting C.S. lewis quotes in the comment section.

[A]

This song is wine. The older it gets, the better it sounds.

[C]

And CS stood for Coldplay Stand, right? Yeah, Coldplay stand.

[A]

Louis, I'd like to see a scene.

[B]

Wait, wait, can we guess?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Scientist.

[A]

No.

[B]

Or is that an album?

[C]

Show me your hands. That was off a rush of blood to the head.

[B]

Okay, okay. That's the only song. That's the only Coldplay title I think I could pull out of my ass. The Scientist or Yellow?

[A]

No.

[B]

Fuck.

[C]

Shit Clocks.

[A]

Nope. Think more obvious.

[C]

Yellow.

[B]

More obvious than yellow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think I've. I think I.

[A]

No, not fix you.

[C]

I just said they're his.

[B]

I'm just not a Coldplay fan. They have more songs than this that I've heard.

[C]

I don't know the name of that one.

[A]

I used to rule.

[C]

That's a later Coldplay. Right?

[A]

These would rise. Viva la vida.

[B]

Viva la vida. Casey. Got it.

[A]

Um, okay. I'd like to see a scene.

[C]

Hey, guys. Thanks for coming over. I thought I would host a early Thanksgiving dinner and just talk about all the things I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my. All the kickballs. I have all my windows in my house. And also, I'm thankful for Rocket Money. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I've been using Rocket Money for years, way before they were a sponsor, and I love it. To keep me financially organized.

[C]

And not just you, Aaron, or not just me. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion.

[A]

B, B, B billion.

[C]

$2.5 billion, Aaron.

[A]

That's a lot of money, including over.

[C]

$880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Doll that could buy me so many new windows.

[B]

If you've got a goal that you'd like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside. Plus, Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get better deals. They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to.

[A]

And you know what? It's so color coded and lovely and they make all these charts for you, so it's just intuitive. It's easy to use. And they will find those subscriptions that you forgot you signed up for, and they'll let you know. They'll keep you on top of it. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Riddle today. That's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle R I.

[C]

D D L E. I forgot to kill the turkey. Can someone kill that?

[A]

Oh, JBC would love to do that. Jvc.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Get over here, turkey.

[A]

That's a chicken. That's a chicken noise. What am I saying? Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. Put that in instead. Thank you. Okay. Gpc. Open it. Open it. Just as a heads up, it is a gift for me that I just want you to open for me.

[B]

And it's in this lion's mouth.

[A]

Yes. And.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Battle. Huh? Pretty good.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

Opening the jaws of the lion.

[A]

My sweater. It's my new quint sweater.

[B]

It's covered in lion inside.

[A]

Yeah, but it's $50 and it's cashmere.

[B]

Oh, wow. You actually got a pretty good price on the sweater.

[A]

I know. I love quints. I recently got some curtains and a rug from there. And I point to two other animals that have eaten my curtain and rugs that you need to fight to get them back. For me, I love quince.

[C]

Oh, and I love quince as well, because they partner directly with ethical factories and top artisans. They cut out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of other high end brands. So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag.

[B]

Is the lion something I can find on quince? Because this is a very good lion. I mean, like, I've had way worse Quality lions.

[A]

Maybe soon. Maybe soon.

[C]

No animals were harmed at Quints.

[A]

I love their holiday stuff, but I really love their home stuff. Incredible sheets, linens, like the most incredible basics for a price. It's not spooky at all. Give and get. Timeless holiday staples that last this season with quince. Go to quince.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Oh, Congratulations, Canada. That's quint.com Riddle Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Riddle Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com Riddle R I, D, D, L.

[C]

E. Now I will tame this lion. Oh. Oh, he's got my leg. At least my cashmere jacket looks nice from Quint's.

[A]

Give us a spin.

[B]

Oh, can you get that leg on Quint?

[A]

I'd like to see a scene. You are a couple celebrating your anniversary, and you are opening a bottle of wine from the year that you got married. And the wine is terrible.

[B]

I. I know it's been an amazing day, but I have something. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I have something a little special planned that I've been kind of planning toot, toot, toot for, well, let's just call it the last 15 years.

[C]

Carl, you scamp. What did you. Did you finally book us that resort in Owand?

[B]

Don't guess, don't guess, don't guess, don't guess.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yes. After our first date in 2010, I was so sure that you were going to be the man that I ended up with that I went to. Remember that little liquor store underneath the apartment that you used to rent?

[C]

Oh, Zack Smart.

[B]

Zack Smart. I went to Zack Smart and I bought a bottle of wine. A 2010 bottle of wine from that day.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And I've saved it these last 15 years.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

It is a 2010 Barefoot Zinfandel.

[C]

Ooh. Okay.

[B]

Oh. I thought I bought a nicer bottle, but we were. It was 2010. You know, we were not established in our, you know, fields at that point.

[C]

This represents a young, scrappier us. This represents the salad days. So let's crack this puppy open.

[B]

It's not a crack open. It's a twist open.

[C]

Oh. Huh. So a lot of sediment at the bottom.

[B]

That might be. Yeah, Maybe I should have got a darker. Yeah, you couldn't.

[C]

Really.

[B]

Why don't I just. Okay, that came right off. That's not good. Felt loose.

[C]

Oh. What is. Is there a gas leak? What does that smell? Oh, the carbon monoxide detectors are going off. What's.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, let's just rip that off the. Pop the batteries out.

[C]

Let me read the label here. We here at Barefoot love all our wines equally. This might be at the bottom of the list, but it's a list of wines we love equally. Please pair with gushers or broccoli. What the fuck is before?

[B]

Hey, you know what?

[A]

Before we drink this, there's a question mark at the end of that sentence.

[B]

Before we drink this, let me do. Let me pop online real quick and just do a quick search to make sure. I want to make sure that we can drink this. Yes, Because I thought the thing with wine was if you saved it in, like, a cool, dark, you know, space for, like, a long enough time, it would just get better or. Okay, so I'm on Barefoot's website.

[C]

Make sure there wasn't a recall or something.

[B]

No recall information. Okay. Their wine does say consume immediately best.

[A]

Hi. If anyone can read this. I gave Barefoot wine to my 21 year old. And. And for his birthday. My whole family was celebrating his birthday and everyone's dead playing on the website. Everyone's dead. Please, please, everyone's dead.

[C]

Help us.

[B]

I think that was a targeted ad. I don't think it's associated with the Barefoot website. I think it was like a. Because it popped up.

[C]

That felt so urgent and frantic. Also, the term I gave wine to my 21 year old made it sound like she injected wine into him. Maybe if you inject the wine, it's not for you.

[B]

We've talked about this. We're not gonna fall back down that rabbit hole.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Yeah, that was maybe.

[B]

You know what? Maybe this was a terrible idea. Maybe we. Maybe we dump this.

[C]

No, no, no, no. That would be dumping, you know, us. That would be dumping our fate to some extent. Let's hear. I have some shot glasses. Let's do a shot of wine.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Just pour me a little. Oh, here's a glass for you. Just do wine shots. Wine shots. Wine shots.

[B]

Oh, this is interesting. Look, I'm holding the bottle upside down, and it's like. It's like a slow drip. It's like when you turn the faucet on just a little bit. It's just a little drop.

[C]

When you go to Culver's or Dairy Queen and they turn the cone upside.

[A]

Down.

[C]

What are they trying to prove?

[B]

Should I shake it? Or maybe we get a butter knife and we try to, like.

[C]

Oh, scoop it out like jam.

[B]

I was thinking more just like loosen the seal.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Local couple super dead from drinking a bottle of wine. More at 11.

[B]

Karen, stop editorializing. Read the prompt. Karen.

[A]

Good scene. I hope we don't get sued.

[B]

Yeah, by barefoot wine. They don't have a legal team. 1, 2, 3, 4.

[A]

Hate riddle. Riddles.

[B]

Cl listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddleriddle.

[D]

What'S going on? It's Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone, and we host the Mess Around a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

[E]

That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

[D]

We're just two BFFs having a good old time. Okay? Sometimes we even talked to other co stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad. We talked to your dad on this show as well.

[E]

Make sure you subscribe to the Mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.