Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #355: The Week After Christmas

Release Date: December 26, 2025
Hosts/Improv Cast: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan
Podcast Description: Chicago’s most overrated improvisers tackle riddles, puzzles, and absurd scenarios, mostly abandoning any sincere attempt at solving anything.

Episode Overview

This holiday Patreon preview episode is a whirlwind of post-Christmas absurdity, where the hosts embody a string of improvised characters to explore the peculiar dynamics of “the week after Christmas.” Through a blend of parody, office satire, and fantastical scenarios, the episode lampoons everything from post-holiday workplace etiquette to the imagined social lives of holiday mascots. As always, riddles take a back seat to playful banter and wild comedic sketches.

Key Discussion Points & Sketches

1. Post-Holiday Office Satire: The Folgers Scandal

Timestamp: 00:32 – 05:54

• Setup: Greg, the disgraced former CEO of Folgers (now an awkward new VP elsewhere), Slack-messages Pete on December 26th — a cardinal post-holiday sin. Pete and his “wife/sister” berate him for breaching sacred family downtime.
• Running Gags:
  • “Folgers Incest Ad” – Referencing the notorious online theory about sibling overtones in a holiday coffee commercial.
  • Office hierarchy and absurd “no work between Christmas and New Year’s” customs.
• Highlight: The increasingly convoluted relationship between Pete and his wife/sister/mother/best friend is played for maximum awkwardness.
• Memorable Quote:

  “The best part of waking up is seeing your sibling in the bed. They wouldn’t use that song.” — Greg (New VP), (03:33)

• Tone & Energy: Deadpan parody mixed with high-energy farce, satirizing both holiday advertising and HR nightmares.

2. Fake Commercials & Meta-Banter

Timestamp: 05:00 – 07:57

• Coffee Mate Spoof:
  • A faux ad mocks the confusion between Coffee Mate and Folgers, culminating in a send-up of suggestive slogans.

    “Coffee Mate. Have coffee, then fuck your mate.” — Greg (New VP), (05:54)

• “Squarespace” and “Cornbread Hemp” Segues:
  • Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney (in character) pitch fake podcast episodes and a website, riffing on ad-read clichés and veering into cringeworthy territory.
  • Running joke about “widgets” and “hippo video,” poking fun at tech-sponsored podcast content.
• CBD Gummies Parody: The hosts hilariously spiral while discussing “Cornbread Hemp CBD gummies,” with lines blurring between sincerity and self-aware ad satire.

3. Santa, Easter Bunny, & Domestic Squabbles

Timestamp: 09:33 – 13:48

• Fantastical Family Drama:
  • Santa and Mrs. Claus (Penelope) are interrupted while putting away decorations before an awkward dinner with the Easter Bunny.
  • The Easter Bunny complains about the creative trials of egg-painting and riddle-writing, while Santa tries to drink in peace.
  • Nostalgic rivalry, ex-dating history (“mythical creature school”), and competitive griping erupt.
• Memorable Moments:
  • The bunnies’ arrival through a window at the North Pole (“I just crawled through. The window was open…” — Greg, 10:49)
  • Showdowns about “working one day a year” and who has the real burden during the holidays.
• Quote:

  “You married to the Easter Bunny? What a fucking loser. He’s a loser, he wears a bow tie and I hate him.” — Penelope, (13:30)

• Tone: Absurdist, blending holiday folklore with sitcom-style interpersonal chaos.

4. Holiday Mascots, Jealousy, & Meltdowns

Timestamp: 13:04 – 14:12

• Melodrama Escalates:
  • Characters hurl increasingly personal insults and exaggerate mythical beefs (“I can hear all the porn you’re watching!” – Penelope to Greg, 13:16).
  • The much-maligned Easter Bunny’s bow tie and Santa’s “working one day” become running jabs.
• Meta-Commentary:
  • The cast pokes fun at the recurring chaos with asides and break-character laughter, demonstrating their signature “barely about riddles” ethos.

5. Brief Riddle Nod and Final Promo

Timestamp: 14:15 – End

• In the last minute, the hosts finally reference riddles (“Hey, Riddle. Riddle’s Clue crew.”), before pushing the Patreon and handing off to other Headgum promos.
• Note: The actual riddle content is virtually non-existent in this episode’s preview, staying on-brand for Hey Riddle Riddle’s style.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Workplace Boundaries:

  “We do not circle back during this time. By December 26th.” — Pete’s Wife/Sister (04:44)

• On Coffee-Related Scandals:

  “I suggested a hornet coffee, which they poo-pooed. …You also suggested a poo-poo coffee, too.” — Greg & Pete, (03:49-03:56)

• On Post-Christmas Ennui:

  “This is a time where time slows down and speeds up, where nothing quite makes sense and the laws of physics do not apply.” — Pete’s Wife/Sister, (04:17)

Episode Structure & Tone

• Improvised Character Scenes: Featuring elaborate, criss-crossing relationships and inside jokes (especially about holiday mascots and viral ads).
• Meta & Parodic Commercials: The cast lampoons podcast sponsorships and product placements, inventing increasingly bizarre plugs.
• Signature Absurdity: No real riddles are solved; instead, the comic payoff comes from the hosts riffing as oddball characters and escalating each bit to farce.

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:32–05:54 | Pete, Greg, and “wife/sister” lampoon office culture | | 05:00–07:57 | Coffee Mate/Folgers ad parody & Beck/Kyle ad riffs | | 09:33–13:48 | Santa, Mrs. Claus, Easter Bunny & holiday folk domestic | | 13:04–14:12 | Mascot meltdown, insults, meta-commentary | | 14:15–end | Brief riddle reference & Patreon plug |

For New Listeners

If you've never heard Hey Riddle Riddle before, this episode perfectly encapsulates the show's chaotic energy: expect more off-the-rails character comedy and parody than actual riddles or puzzle-solving. It’s hilarious, self-aware, and gleefully irreverent about both holidays and podcasting tropes.