Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #359: Welcome to New Hampshire 🥾
Release Date: January 23, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai (A), Erin Keif (B), John Patrick Coan (JPC/C)
Episode Overview
In this lively Patreon bonus episode, the Hey Riddle Riddle Clue Crew dives into all things New Hampshire—its quirks, laws, geography, and of course, plenty of tangents. True to the show’s reputation, the riddles and puzzles become jumping-off points for improvisation, riffing on state mottos, bizarre laws, and zany hypothetical scenes. Fans of the show’s playful banter, state-based shenanigans, and comedic sketches will find this episode a lighthearted exploration of both real and absolutely implausible New Hampshire trivia.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Kicking Off: The "Live Free or Die" State
- Erin opens the episode with, “Live Free or die, New Hampshire. Yes, bitch, we're doing New Hampshire. Get in the car.” (00:17)
- The group riff on New Hampshire’s famously dramatic state motto, laughing about its libertarian underpinnings.
- Adal: “It’s such a wild libertarian motto.” (00:36)
- JPC: “All mottos, all state mottos should be as bombastic as Live Free or Die.” (03:10)
- Comparisons to other state mottos lead to musings such as:
- JPC: “Missouri missed the fucking mark.” (03:44)
- Adal jokes about Indiana: “You crossing the state and then me crossing out your I's, crossing your mom, crossing your mom cross. Jesus is crossing.” (04:41)
2. Personal Experiences with New Hampshire & New England
- JPC shares that he’s passed through New Hampshire traveling to Vermont and recalls scenery and ski slopes (00:54).
- Adal reminisces about a great vegan meal in Portsmouth, describing New Hampshire’s border “as so close to not being New Hampshire… you’re five minutes from a better state.” (01:21)
- Erin lays out the debate around the “gem of New England,” arguing for Maine, but acknowledging Massachusetts and Vermont’s pull.
- “Vermont is hard to beat beauty wise. You know what I think people are not saying a lot of is Connecticut. And I love Connecticut, but… I don’t know.” (02:08)
3. Regional & State Identity Riffs
- Erin reads from a tourist guide, jokingly claiming: “The gem of New England is Planet Fitness, is that—what do we say?” (02:47)
- They riff about alternative bombastic state mottos (04:41–05:19):
- JPC: “Oregon: If you can’t get laid here, you can’t get laid anywhere.”
- Erin: “New Jersey, welcoming you with open legs.”
- Adal: “Washington State and it’s just like, damn, something stinks down there. And it’s just pointing to Oregon.”
4. Improvised Segments & Sketches
- A quick, surreal sketch about Adal living underwater for a week (05:25–05:51).
- Playful, improvised ads and sponsor reads for fake or exaggerated products—(skipped for relevance).
5. Game: “Is This a Real New Hampshire Law?”
Erin introduces a quiz of real and fake New Hampshire laws (14:51+):
Law 1: “You may not collect seaweed at night.”
- JPC: “That’s real.” (15:19)
- Correct. It is a real law.
Law 2: “It is illegal to sell clothes you are wearing to pay off a debt.”
- JPC: “I think that’s legal everywhere.” (15:38)
- Erin confirms it’s fake, but Adal speculates that such laws can have sinister origins.
Law 3: “You cannot ride a bicycle on the sidewalk in any downtown areas.”
- JPC: “I thought that was universal.” (16:28)
- True law.
Law 4: “You are not allowed to tap your feet too loudly while listening to music in public.”
- JPC: “Seems bonkers to be like, ‘live free or die,’ and then be like, ‘don’t tap your toes too loud.’ So I’m gonna say fake.” (17:59)
- Erin reveals it’s fake, but inspired by a century-old story of someone being thrown out of a bar for excessive tapping.
6. Improvised Law-Related Scene: Bicycle Genie
(18:37+)
- The hosts act out a sketch with Adal as a bicyclist (and accidental genie), JPC confronting him, and Erin as a local kid.
- Chaos, magical consequences, and lamp banishment ensue.
- Adal: “If I break a bug because I’m walking on the grass, I go to hell.” (19:04)
- JPC: “Is that like a specific religion…?”
- Erin (as a kid): “I wish that genie never ended up in this town in the first place. Both my parents are dead now because of the chaos he caused.” (20:48)
- Adal: “I can’t bring people back from the dead. Alright, Adol, you hit like two of the three big genie no-nos.” (21:19)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Erin: “Live Free or die, New Hampshire. Yes, bitch, we're doing New Hampshire. Get in the car.” (00:17)
- Adal: “It’s such a wild libertarian motto.” (00:36)
- JPC: “Missouri missed the fucking mark.” (03:44)
- Adal: “You’re five minutes from, like, a better state.” (01:21)
- Erin: “The gem of New England is Planet Fitness—is that, what do we say?” (02:47)
- Adal (riffing): “Washington State and it’s just like, damn, something stinks down there. And it’s just pointing to Oregon.” (05:14)
On legal oddities:
- JPC: “Seems bonkers to be like, ‘live free or die,’ and then be like, ‘don’t tap your toes too loud.’” (17:59)
Scene Excerpt:
- Adal: “If I break a bug because I’m walking on the grass, I go to hell.” (19:04)
- Erin: “I wish that genie never ended up in this town in the first place. Both my parents are dead now because of the chaos he caused.” (20:48)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:17 — New Hampshire episode kickoff, state motto jokes
- 00:54 — Personal travel stories about New Hampshire
- 02:08 — The “gem of New England” debate
- 04:41–05:19 — Bombastic state mottos riff
- 14:51 — "Is This a Real New Hampshire Law?" quiz begins
- 18:37 — Improvised genie/bicycle/sidewalk scene
Episode Tone & Style
- Fast, playful, and irreverent — Most “riddle” content is an excuse for riffing and improv.
- Spontaneous banter rules — Tangents and sketches abound, but they always circle back to the theme or each other’s bits.
- Fan-friendly — Listeners who know the hosts’ chemistry will enjoy the in-jokes and their penchant for 180-degree comedy turns.
In Summary
This episode is classic Hey Riddle Riddle: a comedic, chaotic, and only somewhat topical journey into the spirit of New Hampshire. Expect laws both real and imagined, mottos reimagined, and a signature improvised scene that collides state trivia and magical chaos. Recommended for anyone seeking laughs, New England curiosity, and the unique flavor the Clue Crew brings—even if you haven't listened before.