Patreon Preview #360: Improv Starters

Summary

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Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #360: "Improv Starters"

Host: Headgum
Release Date: January 30, 2026
Featuring: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan ("JPC")
Summary by ChatGPT

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Episode Overview

In this Patreon preview, Adal, Erin, and JPC dive into the world of improv scene-starters, mining a book designed to give improvisers prompts and objectives. The trio riff on the structure and content of the book, poking fun at its ambitious promises ("1,000 scene starters") before launching into their own character-driven comedic scenes. The episode balances meta-commentary about improv, book publishing, and the art of scene work, all delivered with their signature irreverent and playful banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Improv Books & "1,000 Scene Starters" (00:02–01:56)

• The crew examines an improv exercise book, noting its division into 'chapters' on various sources for scene inspiration: character conflicts, contrasting situations, prompts, body language, and environments.
  • Adal: “The first half of the book is using character conflicts. … I’ve actually never cracked this book open, which is awesome fun.” (00:13)
• They riff on the idea of '1,000' scene starters:
  • JPC: “1,000 is such a terrible number. Why not go for a collection of 900?” (01:32)
  • The suggestion is that the last 100 of any such list are always filler.

2. Book Quality & Children’s Literature Tangent (01:56–03:39)

• JPC shares his frustration with a “100 Animals” book that pads its content by repeating animals, questioning author integrity.
  • JPC: “The fuckers behind the hundred animals book cheated. … Penguins is in there three times… Hundred animals grow the fuck up.” (02:15)
• Brief discussion comparing types of penguins and the laziness of just repeating prompts.

3. Setting Up the First Improv Scene: Teen-Parent Conflict (04:01–05:47)

• Deciding on a prompt: “A teenager is discussing with their father their intention to go to a party next week.” (04:59)
• The hosts agree to play with hidden objectives, texting secret motivations to Erin and JPC to heighten the improv.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On ambitious writing projects:
  • JPC: “If you promise 1,000 and you get to 900, you say… look, we all know the last hundred weren’t going to be fucking good.” (01:36)
• On repeat content:
  • JPC: “Frogs in there, like six times. Grow up. Hundred animals grow the fuck up.”
• On improviser integrity:
  • Adal: "I hope Philip, Mr. Philip Bernardi, has more integrity than the 100 animals people. It does not reuse goddamn suggestions." (03:13)

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[Improv Scene: Teen-Parent Party Negotiation]

Timestamps: 18:20–22:58

• Scene Setup: Erin plays the teen (Debbie); JPC plays the dad. Debbie requests to sleep over at a friend’s house (Heather's, whose father ran off with Debbie’s mom).
• Running Jokes:
  • Dad is distracted, watching baseball and initially unaware of details.
  • The family situation is gloriously convoluted (affairs, restraining orders).
  • The daughter keeps trying to manipulate the situation; the dad keeps missing the point or overcomplicating it.
• Memorable Exchanges:
  • Dad (JPC): “My God, Debbie, it looks fucking immaculate in here. Baked Mac and cheese.” (18:39)
  • Debbie (Erin): “Just kidding. You can do whatever you want.”
  • Dad (JPC): “You caught me—a quarter in the jar, for sure.” (18:51)
  • Dad (JPC): “Heather, Doug's daughter. … They're Catholics, right?” (19:23)
  • Debbie (Erin): “Big drinkers, the Catholics.”
  • Dad (JPC): “That might be a stereotype, right? … Yeah, for sure.”
  • Debbie (Erin): “I thought I would go over and sabotage Mom's relationship through Heather.” (19:39)
  • Dad (JPC): “You're such a— I didn’t know you got a car! ... Oh, you were gonna drive my car?” (21:39)
• Classic "Dad" logic:
  • Dad (JPC): “One thing about men is if we look each other in the eye and we shake hands, everything's fine.” (22:20)
  • Debbie (Erin): “Yeah, I'm sure they have drugs in their house. And alcohol.”
  • Dad (JPC): “You are not going—like, Tylenol? … The stuff that President Trump says gives you autism?” (22:51)
  • Debbie (Erin): “Oh, dad. You’re that kind of dad, huh?” (22:54)

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Additional Highlights

The Nature of Improv Starters (Throughout)

• The hosts discuss how objectives in improvised scenes—when secret—heighten tension and comedy.
  • JPC: “I do like having a secret in a scene.” (04:35)

Meta Humour

• Repeated, deadpan asides about the convoluted family situation and JPC's “dad” missing his daughter’s manipulations.
• Layered meta-commentary on improv process: when to follow or ignore the supplied objectives; how conflict and secrets enhance scenes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Adal: “The first half of the book is using character conflicts. ... I’ve actually never cracked this book open, which is awesome fun.” (00:13)
• JPC: “1,000 is such a terrible number. Why not go for a collection of 900?” (01:32)
• JPC: “Hundred animals grow the fuck up.” (02:25)
• JPC: “I do like having a secret in a scene.” (04:35)
• Dad (JPC): “My God, Debbie, it looks fucking immaculate in here. Baked Mac and cheese.” (18:39)
• Dad (JPC): “One thing about men is if we look each other in the eye and we shake hands, everything’s fine.” (22:20)
• Debbie (Erin): “Oh, dad. You’re that kind of dad, huh?” (22:54)

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

• 00:02–04:00: Book structure, riffing on scene-starters and “1000” as a number.
• 04:01–05:55: Intro to improv objectives, setup for secret-objective roleplay.
• 18:20–22:58: Main improv scene: Teen-parent conflict (Debbie and her dad negotiate a party/sleepover with a tangle of family drama).

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Final Thoughts

This episode serves as both a tongue-in-cheek critique of improv education materials and a showcase of the trio’s chemistry, wit, and commitment to character work. Whether poking fun at publishing conventions, satirizing family dynamics, or demonstrating ‘objective-based’ scene building, Adal, Erin, and JPC create a hilarious and insightful improv tutorial that’s as much about the art of comedy as it is about solving riddles.

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Transcript

[A]

So here's some of the sort of chapters, or I don't know if we can call these chapters, but just sort of like the way the book is.

[B]

Organized is we can't be calling these chapters. Right.

[A]

The first half of the book is using character conflicts. So it's a bunch of scenarios with different types of conflicts. So there's teen parent conflicts. We have. Student. We have. And I'm just saying this now, I've actually never cracked this book open, which is awesome fun.

[B]

When you see teen parent conflicts, is that teen and parent in conflict, or is that conflicts that teen parents might find themselves in?

[A]

God, I hope it's both. There's also this, and this is very good student teacher conflicts, which maybe this just arose from something he did in class and the students bucked against.

[C]

There is a teacher insisting students do improv exercises.

[B]

Conflict number one, why are we doing this? Conflict number two, do you really have a wife? I don't see a ring. Don't most people have a wife, have a ring?

[A]

Didn't you run off with your brother? We have salesman, customer conflicts, et cetera. So a bunch of different sort of conflicts. And then as we go on, we have contrasts. We have using lines of dialogue to start the scene, using body language to start the scene, using the environment to start a scene. So maybe for now, this might be something we revisit. Maybe we start with some. Just some conflicts.

[B]

Conflicts are great. So this was billed as like, 1000. Is that what he said? It's like 1000 scene starters.

[A]

1000 is such a terrible number. Why not go for a collection of 900?

[B]

900. Way more manageable. You can cut out. Basically. It's like if you promise 1,000 and you get to 900, you say, like, look, we all know the last hundred weren't going to be fucking good.

[A]

My guess is he wrote the first 900, sat around for this, sat on his IBM computer for three years, and then you just said, I can't think of another hundred.

[B]

This is a lesson to any parent out there. Definitely, definitely. Or anyone who's giving, like, a children's book as a gift. Always, always, always read the book before you give it as a gift or before you purchase it. Because kids are going to read that book 1100 times. So you want to make sure it's not a piece of shit. Otherwise you have to do what I have to do, where someone gives you, like, a bad book and you go, oh, yeah, we ran out of that book. And it's just in one of the little library Somewhere in my neighborhood because I had to get rid of it. But I bought a book for my kid and it was like, 100 animals. And I was like, oh, great. Pictures of animals. The names of the animals. They're going to learn. A hundred animals. This is going to be awesome. They're going to love this book. They did love the book, but Dada did not love the book because the fuckers behind the hundred animals book cheated. Because it's all broken into sections of, like, where on the planet the animals might exist. And like, penguins is in there three times. And I'm like, look, I know that penguins exist in other places, but you as the person who made the fucking book, you gotta be like, guys, we've already used penguins twice. It's only 100 animals. We get three of the hundred animals. Can't just be regular penguin. Like, we gotta. We gotta do something different. Frogs in there, like six times. Grow up. Hundred animals grow the fuck up. So I hope Philip, Mr. Philip Bernardi has more integrity than the 100 animals people. It does not reuse goddamn suggestions.

[A]

Now, are they saying, like, Emperor penguins versus Mr. Popper's penguins are Peruvian?

[B]

I would forgive it if it was like, subsets of penguins. Now, one picture might be an emperor penguin, and one picture might be whatever another type of penguin is. But no, it just says penguin for both. And it's like, come on, man.

[A]

Isn't it funny? We do a thing called penguin baseball, and none of us can name anything.

[B]

Besides emperor penguin, but we do know that there are more types. And we know about puffins.

[C]

Emperor penguin. Dang it.

[A]

Damn it.

[B]

And the noble puffin.

[C]

And the noble emperor. It's happening again.

[B]

Emperor penguin. Reverse emperor penguin, of course.

[A]

So let's do some of these character conflicts. So the first one we're going to do is teen parent conflicts.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

So JPC and Aaron, you two will do this scene. And so each entry here has the scene which is obviously the sort of premise or setup. And then it also has the teen's objective and the father's objective. Now, do we want to play with just the premise or do we want to play with the objectives? What do you think for the first one? Let's play with the objectives.

[C]

Great.

[A]

And then we can maybe drop them from there or see how it goes.

[B]

I think it'll take a little longer, but also I think let's do objective. I do want to do at least one of these where, like, you text Aaron her objective and text me my objective, and then we might have to like try to guess what the objectives were at the end because I do like having a secret in a scene.

[A]

So actually let's do that with this first one maybe.

[C]

Great.

[B]

Okay, sure, let's do it.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

Okay, so let me give you both the scene and then we'll do the objectives.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The scene is, a teenager is discussing with their father their intention to go to a party next week. A teenager is discussing with their father their intention to go to a party next week. Let's say, jpc, you'll be the father. Aaron, you'll be the teen. Jpc, do you mind taking off your headphones and look for a thumbs up?

[B]

Great, I will.

[A]

Aaron, your teen's objective is the party promises to be especially wild because adults will not be present. Get your father's permission to go.

[C]

Great.

[A]

Jpc, your father's objective. You're very reluctant to allow your teen to go to any unsupervised party. Since you're concerned about the presence of drugs or alcohol at such parties, refuse to let them go.

[B]

These objectives are so long. But okay, okay, okay.

[A]

Okay. And we will start the scene now.

[B]

Hey, Aaron Adol, lovely. Good to see you guys. Actually really do not even have time right now. I got a jet, I have to go. I don't have time to kind of small talk or any of that. I'm going to live underwater for a week.

[C]

What?

[A]

Huh? We all assumed this was coming.

[B]

I guess I'm just kind of non stop back to back this entire week. So I'm going to live underwater. It's just going to save me a lot of time because I'll be underwater instead of on land. So I'll be breathing the water instead of the air.

[C]

Okay, well, there's better ways to sort of save time. I feel like you're like eating a ton, like cooking so much for dinner and going grocery shopping and doing this whole rigmarole. Like we could cut that out for you. You could use Tempo.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta use Tempo. Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted dietitian approved meals right to your door. Jpc.

[B]

Okay, but let me guess. These meals are gonna be stopping wet because I am living in the water. Or that's probably more of a me living on the water issue than the meals issue, right?

[C]

No, they're dry. And each meal is perfectly proportioned for lunch, dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food, real fast. It's not like a sad desk lunch or drive through or stuff that you're throwing together from your sad refrigerator.

[B]

Okay, well can it beat the variety that I'm going to get under the sea? Because I'll be eating sand Barnacles. Mostly just sand and barnacles. Does Tempo have those kinds of options?

[C]

Yeah, they got 20 new recipes each week made from nutrient rich ingredients. Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits so you don't have to eat sand and jpc.

[A]

If I may, some of my recent favorites from Tempo. Italian sausage Bolognese cavatappe with peas and zucchini. Okay, my mouth is watering. And I've also very much enjoyed their spicy buffalo chicken pasta with roasted cauliflower and sweet potatoes.

[B]

Wow, that sounds pretty good. But the other day, I almost ate a crab. He actually ate more of me than I ate of him. Anyway, for a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to tempomeals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box. Tempomeals.com riddle rules and restrictions may apply.

[A]

But don't take it from us. Take it from Knifey the Knife, who's a chef.

[C]

Bonjour. It's too late to introduce Knifey. That's too late. Maybe next time.

[B]

Maybe next time for Knifey Adol. Aaron. I am in the dumps.

[A]

Oh, why you sad? What's going on?

[B]

No, I was trying to buy a lemon, but it turns out I was haggling with this guy trying to buy this lemon. I wanted to, you know, make my water a little more refreshing. And eventually I got home with the thing and the guy sold me a bad car.

[A]

Yeah, lemons can be bad cars.

[B]

Well, I didn't know that.

[A]

Have you heard? Have you used car gurus?

[B]

Oh, Cargurus. I know Cargurus. It's car shopping made for you.

[C]

Mm. With Cargurus Discover, you can skip the filters and describe what you're looking for in your own words. Simply type what you want, and Cargurus Discover instantly surfaces real listings and match you with your exact needs so you don't end up with a lemon.

[A]

With more than 4 million listings, CarGurus has the biggest selection of cars. So it's easier than ever to find the right car and the right deal.

[B]

Okay, let me just use it real quick. I'm going to type into yellow exterior, citrusy, lots of seeds inside. Oh, okay. Well, this is great because with Cargurus, you can compare cars side by side, check pricing, and estimate your final cost so you can navigate the dealership with confidence.

[C]

It's no wonder cargurus is the number one most visited car shopping site according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data.

[A]

But don't take it from them. Take it from me.

[B]

Honk.

[A]

Honk. A real car. Buy or sell your. Put the brakes on, sweetie.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

Buy or sell your next car today with [e-mail]. go to cargurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A-R-G-U-R U S.com CarGurus.com Hong Kong. Get in, everyone.

[C]

Honk, honk.

[A]

We're going to the moon.

[B]

Hey. Smells like lemon.

[C]

Adel jpc. You may have noticed my new diamond and emerald necklace. I bought it with the money I saved using rocket money.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

Mm. I realized I was spending like $800 a year on unwanted apps and subscriptions, and then turns out I don't need to do that. Rocket Money canceled them for me.

[B]

Okay, Aaron, but this. I mean, this necklace looks really expensive.

[C]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[B]

Okay, I'm seeing a receipt adult in the trash can here. I don't think Eric wants grab your hand. She spent a lot. She spent a lot on this necklace.

[C]

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give a user a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years, way before they were ever a sponsor of hey Riddle Riddle. And I love how clear their communication is. If there's a big spend on my card, it will let me know right away. And it will also let me know what upcoming bills I have to pay. And it'll even negotiate lower bills for you. What a dream.

[A]

And for someone like me who hemorrhages money, Rocket Money can help set budgets and goals. I get personalized insights and regular reports. And I can receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances.

[B]

Yes, I'm looking at Erin's Rocket Money right now, and she has a goal for a new diamond necklace. Aaron, this is too many zeros. Aaron, this is too many zeros.

[C]

It's like 18 zeros. What's wrong?

[B]

Well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com.

[C]

Riddle I have to be honest with you guys. This is not a real diamond necklace. It's a bunch of bugs I convinced to Be in a diamond formation. Still cost $100,000.

[A]

Pretty good.

[B]

ADOL. I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult, right?

[A]

Mm.

[B]

I mean, it's.

[A]

Yes, I have. Yeah, I have cat pies, which is my food truck where my cats make pies that I sell. And it can be a real headache to have a small business.

[B]

Yeah. And I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant.

[A]

Yeah, we've had some. There's been some red tape with the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working on it.

[B]

Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You gotta juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do something else, and.

[A]

That could be about any podcast co host.

[B]

And yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me. It's not going to cry for attention here, but it's just the reality of owning a small business. But Found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I gotta tell you, this bulldozer company, their app is trash.

[A]

Well, I know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles. And Found helps you find your buried co hosts.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses. Things like categorizing a expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting. And they built an app that does it all directly from your business checking account so you have time to vet prudential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co hosts at a big pile upstairs. One thing that I love about Found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases to make sure everything is accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bulldozers. Found makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand.

[A]

Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took eight feet underground of Aaron saying this. Take back control of your business today. Open a Found account for [e-mail]. that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with found. Thanks, Aaron.

[B]

That was her.

[A]

That was definitely her. That's.

[B]

Yeah, she said that.

[A]

Yeah. The electro. Electromagnet. That's how you get voices from underground is electromagnets.

[B]

Look it up.

[A]

We're not lying.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[A]

Jpc. Hello. It's me. Father New Year.

[B]

Oh, Father New Year. What big white beard you have and looks like. Looks like maybe was like a white rimmed red hat that has been hastily painted, like a different color.

[A]

Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[A]

Hey, listen, just so you know, Aaron Keefe is off in Bermuda with Joshua Jackson. They got married.

[B]

Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him. Bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time not to say anything of what Aaron's had. Hey, hey. Oh, I'm sorry. Not Santa. Father New Year.

[A]

Father New Year.

[B]

Lean in here, look.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but if you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quint's?

[A]

Oh, jpc. A Bright brings down my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love quince. I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive. So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world.

[B]

Yeah, see, I mean, I love quints because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Plus, by cutting out middlemen in traditional markups, quints delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quints away, but no one's kind of giving quints to you. And maybe this get up that you're wearing, that's you like asking for someone to maybe. You know what? Santa, I mean, not Santa, whatever your name is. It doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you? I'm going to take off this cashmere sweater that I got at Quint's. I. I absolutely love this thing. It's so warm. It is so comfortable. And Santa or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Now the curse is lifted. And now you are Father New Year, AKA Santa. Thank you. Oh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you.

[B]

Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this. I thought I was gonna have to Tim Allen you. Oh.

[A]

And. Oh, my normal voice is coming back. Oh, man. Hey, my name's Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell down a chimney. I don't want to. Quince is am. Thank you, Quince, for turning me back into my normal self.

[B]

Wait, is my voice going to change? Oh, man. I'm getting Tim Allen. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince Q U I n c e.com Riddle Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Riddle oh, and I lied.

[A]

Aaron is buried alive.

[C]

Dad, I hope you don't mind. I cleaned the kitchen, did the laundry, and.

[B]

Hold on for one second. It's the bottom of the ninth here. Okay, it's commercial. Go ahead.

[C]

I just. I cleaned the whole house and I made some baked Mac and cheese for dinner.

[B]

My God, Debbie, it looks fucking immaculate in here. Baked Mac and cheese.

[C]

Yes. Up. You swore. Put a. Put a quarter in the swear jar. Just kidding. You can do whatever you want.

[B]

You caught me a quarter in the jar for sure. Wow. Debbie, I just have to say, I am so thankful that you really stepped up after your mom ran off with Doug.

[C]

Yeah, I. Well, honestly, I feel much more grown up now. Much more responsible. You are very.

[B]

You're very responsible.

[C]

I was just talking to my friend Heather. You remember Heather.

[B]

Heather, Doug's daughter. Oh, yeah. Heather. Yeah. They're Catholics, right?

[C]

Yeah, they're Catholics. Heather and I were talking about drinkers.

[B]

Big drinkers, the Catholics.

[C]

I think that might be a stereotype, Right?

[B]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

[C]

But I thought. I was thinking I would go over to their house and sort of, like, try to sabotage Mom's relationship through Heather. Right. And so I was like, what if I went over and I slept over at that house and like, maybe had a couple friends over?

[B]

You want to sleep over at Heather's house?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Let me just find the Yellow Pages. Just gonna give Parents a call.

[C]

You know what, though? But don't you want to go on this?

[B]

Catholics.

[C]

Don't we want to do, like a secret mission where I go over there and, like, Doug doesn't even know that I'm your daughter. Right. And so I sort of.

[B]

That would be petty.

[C]

Yeah, wouldn't it be? No.

[B]

I'm a lot of things, Debbie, but I'm not a petty man. Let's call Heather's parents. What was her. What's her father's name?

[C]

Doug. He's the one that ran off with Mom. Mmm.

[B]

Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug. Not ringing.

[C]

Oh, your baseball game's back on. You know what? I'm just gonna pack a bag, go to Heather's. I hope the bottom of the ninth is as exciting as you hope. I hope your team goes all the way.

[B]

You're in for the evening. I'd say it's almost seven. So you're in for the evening.

[C]

Remember the sleepover you agreed to?

[B]

No, I did not agree to that.

[C]

You said, yeah, you want to sleep over Heather's.

[B]

I want to sleep over at Heather's.

[C]

I'm gonna sleep over at Heather.

[B]

Well, I guess if dads are invited, then I can keep an eye on you, so I actually don't mind that.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[B]

What's the bed situation over there?

[C]

I'm calling. I'm gonna go over to Heather's. I'm gonna ask all these questions, and I'll call you from there.

[B]

Yes, that sounds good. We'll go to Heather's together.

[C]

I'm gonna go. You. You're gonna miss your baseball game.

[B]

It's okay. They play 254 of these every year.

[C]

No, no, no. But it's bad luck. Didn't you know? Don't you know?

[B]

You're not gonna walk over to Heather's, are you?

[C]

Oh, I was gonna drive there.

[B]

Oh, you were gonna drive with my license?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't.

[C]

I wouldn't want to make you go all that way.

[B]

You're such a. I didn't know you got a car. Oh, you were gonna drive my car?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry. I guess we missed the part where we ask. Here's the thing. You don't need to drive. It's so late. It's dark out. I'll drive you over to Heather's. We'll talk with Heather's. What was it, Doug? You said, we'll talk with Doug. We'll just.

[C]

I think mom was threatening. This is what's so stressful about it. Mom and Doug are threatening to put a restraining order out on you if you get within 50ft of their property. So, like, let's not just do that whole headache.

[B]

Oh, well, for sure. Well, a threat is not a restraining order. That's.

[C]

How about you drop me off there and then I'll have Doug wave for you at the window and give you a big thumbs up about how it's all set.

[B]

As soon as I look him in the eye, shake his hand as a man, everything's gonna be fine. That's Debbie. I hope you never need to know about this, but one thing about men is if we look each other in the eye and we shake hands, everything's fine. Provided we do that, there's not gonna be any drugs over at Heather. Will there be?

[C]

Yeah, I'm sure they have drugs in their house. And alcohol.

[B]

You're sure they have drugs in their house?

[C]

You are not going like, Tylenol. And they have time.

[B]

The stuff that President Trump says gives you autism.

[C]

Oh, dad. You're that kind of dad, huh?

[B]

He's we. Hey, I didn't vote for him, but he's the president.

[C]

All of a sudden, Doug is seeming Pretty cool.

[B]

1, 2, 3, 4. Hey, Riddle. Riddle's Clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddleriddle.