Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #364: Public Access 15
Date: February 27, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan
Theme: Improvised public access-style shows, weird dinner parties, and family drama—with trademark absurdity and riffing.
Episode Overview
In this Patreon preview episode, the trio parodies public access TV, presenting two improvised segments: one on awkward dinner parties (“Keeping Company”) and another on a lonely mother’s birthday (“Back in Time for Dinner”). True to Hey Riddle Riddle form, the focus is on playful character work, comedic tangents, and riffing rather than actual riddles.
Segment 1: Mockumentary Movie Plug & Banter
[00:00–01:42]
- The episode opens with Adal (A) raving about the movie Nirvana the Band the Show the Movie.
- “It is so fucking good.” (A, 01:28)
- JPC (B) and Erin (C) join in with faux-critical praise, lampooning movie marketing hype.
- Playful exchange about plot: “Matt and Jay accidentally travel back to the year 2008. Blah, blah, blah... your jaw will hit the floor in a good way.” (A, 00:30)
Segment 2: Keeping Company – Socially Awkward Dinner Parties
[02:40–09:12]
Premise
A fictional public access show with host Glenn Livner, coaching people on how to keep company and maintain successful dinner parties.
Key Characters:
- Glenn Livner (A): Host, earnestly guiding guests to act “normal.”
- Paul Calhoun (B): Socially awkward, prayer-obsessed, slightly delusional.
- Linda Messers (C): Over-shares bizarre animal facts at inappropriate times.
Highlights & Memorable Moments:
- Linda’s facts derail conversation repeatedly:
- “Did you know that horses can’t throw up? And when they have to throw up, they die?” (C, 04:22)
- “Butterflies are attracted to blood." (C, 06:05)
- Glenn’s exasperation at the guests’ inability to hold basic conversation.
- “Linda, do you think the animal facts that you’re choosing to share… are appropriate for casual dinner conversation?” (A, 06:08)
- Paul brings up leprosy/Bible references and prayer compulsively.
- “[...] global warming is a hoax, but Noah did have an ark, and he did take two of every animal. That is true, and that is a fact.” (B, 06:40)
- “When Abraham met the Gesundheit, he had to remove his cloak to show fealty to the Government. Let us pray.” (B, 08:27)
- A failed empathy/swap exercise, where each guest tries (and fails) to act like the other:
- “Hi, I’m Paul. Do you know that Air Bud died of cancer in 1998?” (C as Paul, 07:27)
- “Yes, but Air Bud went up to heaven. Let us pray. I’m Linda.” (B as Linda, 07:33)
- Glenn reveals he’s court-ordered to host the show after repeatedly ending up naked at dinner parties due to “snags” on his clothes.
- “I keep throwing dinner parties where my clothes accidentally fall off.” (A, 08:07)
- The entire bit devolves with the characters bickering, culminating with Glenn’s clothes “falling off” again as the episode ends.
- “Oh, my Lord. It looks like the bottom of the chair was on my pants and all my clothes have fallen off. Yet again.” (A, 09:12)
Segment 3: Silly Banter & Fake Ad Reads
[09:19–14:01]
- Banter about car shopping, bananas, and the Cargurus app (fictionalized ad).
- Adal: “I’ll get my fruit at the fruit store and my cars… with Cargurus.”
- Quick riff: The “Riddle Mobile” only runs when they solve riddles. “Let’s just leave it.” (C, 11:47)
- They muse about the night sky, throw in bits about UFOs and the Pleiadians, launching into a faux ad for Rocket Money.
- “With the upcoming war with the Pleiadians on our doorstep...” (A, 12:40)
- “Now the Pleiadians are paladin aliens, of course, and they come here wanting our—I want to say oxygen.” (B, 12:48)
- Extended bit about secret bank accounts and financial dashboards set up to fight these aliens.
Segment 4: Back in Time for Dinner – A Mother's Lonely Birthday
[14:16–17:55]
Premise
“Back in Time for Dinner,” another public access-style show featuring Donna Jensen, a mother waiting in vain for her children to arrive for her 60th birthday dinner.
Key Characters:
- Donna Jensen (C): Host, surrounded by empty chairs.
- Waitstaff/Restaurant Personnel (A, B): Impatient, uncomprehending, mostly annoyed.
Highlights & Memorable Moments:
- Donna is exasperated that her children are over an hour late.
- “It is currently 7:08. They are an hour and eight minutes late for this dinner.” (C, 14:38)
- Repeated requests for “house chardonnay but I want it to taste good,” and confusion about Chardonnay being “famously a red wine.”
- “[...] but I want [the house chardonnay] to taste good. Also, Chardonnay is supposed to be red. It’s famously a red wine.” (C, 16:26)
- Donna defensively engages with others at the restaurant, insisting her family is coming; ultimately, she confesses:
- “All right, fine. I'll admit it. I don't have kids. Okay, fine, I'll admit it.” (C, 17:44)
- General tone is deadpan, awkward, and a little achingly sad—underscored by absurd asides from patrons/staff.
Notable Quotes
- “Did you know that horses can’t throw up? And when they have to throw up, they die?” – Linda (C), 04:22
- “If you’re gonna say it, know it.” – Glenn (A), recurring line
- “I keep throwing dinner parties where my clothes accidentally fall off.” – Glenn (A), 08:07
- “With the upcoming war with the Pleiadians on our doorstep…” – Adal (A), 12:40
- “[Chardonnay] is supposed to be red. It’s famously a red wine.” – Donna (C), 16:26
- “All right, fine. I'll admit it. I don't have kids.” – Donna (C), 17:44
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:00–01:42: Movie plug and opening banter
- 02:40–09:12: “Keeping Company” public access parody
- 09:19–14:01: Absurd ad riffs: Cargurus and Rocket Money (with “alien invasion” bits)
- 14:16–17:55: “Back in Time for Dinner” public access parody
Tone and Style
- Language: Irreverent, fast-paced, full of playful mockery and tangents.
- Humor: Surreal, character-driven, and laced with both clever absurdity and gentle pathos.
- Atmosphere: Casual, improv-heavy, and consistently self-aware.
Final Thoughts
This episode is a quintessential Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon preview: riddle-adjacent at best, it’s a showcase for the trio’s chemistry, improvised characters, and satirical takes on both public access TV and social awkwardness. The highlight is the ridiculousness of failed dinner parties and the ultimately poignant, if hilarious, portrait of familial (and personal) dysfunction.
Listeners are reminded: “If you don’t like riddles, don’t worry! This podcast is barely about them!”