Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #367: A Night at a Museum

Release Date: March 20, 2026
Hosts/Improvisers: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan
Theme: High School Lock-in Chaos, Absurd Characters, and Viral Internet References

Episode Overview

In this Patreon preview, the Hey Riddle Riddle crew (Adal, Erin, and JPC) play out a delightfully chaotic and hilarious improvised scenario: a high school lock-in at the fictional "Museum of All Things" (or “Moat”), set in Chicago. The cast inhabits a range of offbeat student and staff characters obsessed with Internet memes, personal history, and bizarre museum attractions. As always, the episode is light on riddles and heavy on playful banter, running jokes, and wild improv.

Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Welcome to the Museum of All Things

• [00:49] The group establishes the setting: The Oswego senior class is welcomed for an annual lock-in event at the museum, affectionately called "Moat." The museum director (Adal) provides orientation, insisting on calling museum guides “docents," sparking immediate confusion with students.
  • “If any of the docents or any of the chaperones call it Moat, that’s what’s going on.” – Museum Director (B), [00:53]

2. Characters, Memes, and Viral Ancestry

• [01:18–06:49] The students introduce themselves, but each name-checks a different viral Internet video or meme, claiming dubious ancestry or personal appearances in them.
  • Devin claims her aunt died in the “Amazing Race” watermelon slingshot incident.
    • “They played [the video] at her funeral.” – Devin (C), [04:01]
  • Felix claims to be “Damn Daniel” and a teacher, confusing his role further.
  • Erin and Adal riff on being related to other viral hits—"Charlie bit my finger," "Chocolate Rain," “I like turtles,” and the “Apparently” kid.
  • Museum Director reveals his own viral fame: being called "Toilet Horse" by a possibly-stroke-having Paul Giamatti ([13:34]).
    • “He kept calling me a toilet horse. It’s really stuck. We do sell Toilet Horse T-shirts in the gift shop.” – Museum Director (B), [13:55]

3. Museum Rules and Absurd Logistics

• [12:00–13:11] The hosts lay out unorthodox rules for the lock-in, from avoid-splitting-hairs about docents (“dosistant” jokes) to a new “Amazing Race”-style treasure hunt for hidden prizes in the museum.
  • “We have hidden little prizes around the museum. So, sort of like Amazing Race.” – Museum Director (B), [03:29]
  • On museum sex rules and technology:
    • “We have sex-activated cameras. There are cameras that will only turn on if they sense engorgement of private parts. Now, I don't want to get into the technology that that uses.” – Museum Director (B), [12:24]
  • A debate ensues about what counts as “penetrative sex” in the context of activating the hypothetical cameras.
    • “Like if I’m getting a handjob, nothing’s being penetrated.” – Felix (D), [12:50]
    • “Is the hand getting penetrated? Oh, interesting. In a way. Yeah, I guess.” – Devin (C), [12:54]

4. The Museum’s Notable Exhibits and Further Absurdity

• [13:26–15:21] The Museum claims world-exclusive “famous toilets” and the singular “Toilet Horse.” More running gags about viral infamy and unusual museum exhibits, including “Gaydar.”
  • “We have an exhibit in the museum for gaydar. And my wife was gay-blind.” – Museum Director (B), [15:18]

5. Meta and Fourth Wall Banter

• Throughout, the improvisers frequently break character for rapid banter and meta asides, like chalkboard jokes ("it has been zero days since Hey Riddle Riddle mentioned The Slap" [07:04]) and recaps of classic viral video moments.
• Adal/Erin/JPC cycle in and out of absurd edgy personas, but always return to the premise: ridiculous museum lock-in logistics, improv confusion, and rules layered with nonsense bureaucracy.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It's Night of the living Dead or night at the museum or night in or around the museum." – Felix (D), [01:38]
• “You were the kid who was like... ‘I like turtles.’” – Museum Director (B) to Felix, [06:00]
• “My ex-wife confused gay and blind quite a bit. She would show up to gay pride.” – Museum Director (B), [14:58]
• “Well, digital is penetrative sex. So is oral.” – Museum Director (B), [12:43]
• “Didn’t it turn out that he was having a stroke and that’s why he was saying Toilet Horse so much?” – Felix (D), [14:01]
• “One of my older cousins was the Grape Stomp lady.” – Felix (D), [04:17]

Important Timestamps/Sections

| Timestamp | Section Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------| | 00:49 | Lock-in welcome and museum orientation | | 01:18 | Introductions & running internet meme jokes | | 03:29 | Announcement of treasure hunt inside museum | | 04:01 | The “Amazing Race” watermelon funeral aunt story | | 12:24 | Discussion of “sex-activated” museum cameras | | 13:34 | “Toilet Horse” viral story and Paul Giamatti reference | | 15:18 | “Gaydar” exhibit and further running gags |

Tone and Style

As always, the episode is an exuberant, irreverent mess—leaning into meta-jokes, improv logic, and deranged workarounds rather than traditional riddle-solving. The hosts’ chemistry is on display, with constant interruptions, callbacks, and a love for both absurd detail and “Yes, and”-ing their way deeper into nonsense.

Final Takeaway

This episode is a textbook example of Hey Riddle Riddle’s playful, improvisational meta-humor—a must for fans of character work and surreal joke-laden banter. In a single night at the museum, you’ll meet internet legends, witness the invention of “Toilet Horse,” debate the semantics of sex-activated cameras, and marvel at a museum whose greatest treasure may be its cast’s unending wit.

For the rest of the episode, join the Clue Crew at Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle.