Patreon Preview #368: Who Wants to be a JPCillionaire? Part 2

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle

Patreon Preview #368: Who Wants to be a JPCillionaire? Part 2

Date: March 27, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Episode Theme:
A comedic, improvised riddle and trivia challenge in the style of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire," with Erin stepping up as the contestant trying to win (not so grand) prizes from the iconic game show, interlaced with the trio's signature banter and playful digressions.

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1. Episode Overview

The episode continues the "Who Wants to be a JPCillionaire?" miniseries, a playful parody of the classic TV game show, with co-host Erin competing in a quiz show designed by JPC. The focus is less on high-stakes drama and more on humorous side conversations, sharp-witted jokes, and lighthearted jabs at each other’s expense. As always on Hey Riddle Riddle, riddles and puzzles take a backseat to improvisational comedy and inside jokes.

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2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sequels, Prizes, and a Millionaire Parody (00:02 – 06:14)

• The episode opens with the trio riffing on sequels, leading into JPC announcing Erin as the next contestant in their ongoing quiz show.
  • Quote:
    Adal: "I will say that it's kind of important that you guys do like sequels because you're in one." (00:20)
• JPC recaps previous winnings (Adal allegedly won $8 but never received it) and sets Erin up for her shot at glory (and a possibly even grander prize).
  • Quote:
    JPC: "You did win eight bucks. Now, can I get confirmation that you received that $8?"
    Adal: “You cannot because I did not.” (01:11–01:19)
• Banter about outlandish prizes is a recurring joke.
  • Possible prizes range from grapes to a king-sized candy bar, none of which seem particularly appealing or attainable.

Game Setup & Lifelines (05:37 – 06:14)

• Erin is prepped with "lifelines" akin to the TV format: 50:50, "Call Adal," and "Ask Casey/KPC."
• Adal is encouraged to "warm up his brain" in case Erin fails early, referencing baseball bullpen routines:
  • Quote:
    Erin: “You're in the ball pen and you're getting your arm warmed up. I need you to get your brain warmed up, because I'm about to lose and you're about to be back up.” (05:21)

Running Gags & Sponsor Teasing (06:14 – 09:51)

• Bits involving “JPC tax” bank charges are woven in, playing on Erin's paranoia about fake subscription charges.
• The hosts drift into faux-ad segments for Rocket Money and Tempo Meals, cringing and clowning on advertising copy and personal finance apps.
  • Quote:
    JPC: “Lost another one to Rocket Money.” (08:11)
    Adal: “That’s not even coming from your phone.” (08:13)
• The group’s ad read parodies spiral into character bits, with Adal mocking the earnestness of the sponsor copy:
  • Quote:
    Erin: "Aaron my friend, you look it. But have I told you about Tempo?...Adal, I know you love Tempo." (08:37)

The Quiz: “Who Wants to be a JPCillionaire?” (09:52 – 13:55)

Question 1: Projectile and Slingshot (10:03 – 10:40)

• Question: “Which of these projectiles is normally shot from a slingshot? A) Stone, B) Arrow, C) Cannonball, D) Mom’s meatloaf”
• Humorous Responses:
  • Erin: “Vomit.”
  • JPC: “Mom’s meatloaf. Don’t flip that.”
  • Erin selects stone and wins her first prize—a grape.
  • Quote:
    JPC: “You have just won one grape.” (10:35)
    Erin: “One grape.” (10:40)
    JPC: “Italian Adal did this. The Italian made meatloaf his German.” (10:51)

Question 2: Giuliani’s Mayorship (10:59 – 12:00)

• Question: “From 1994 to 2001, Rudy Giuliani served as the 107th mayor of what city?”
• Erin jokes about Giuliani's infamous press conference and makes a dig at New York politics before confidently answering “New York City.”
• Prize: Ten grapes.
• Quote:
  Erin: “No, he’s my favorite person who ever confused the Four Seasons with the Four Seasons and had his hair dye dripping. I missed the Giuliani days, guys. It got so much worse after that. New York City, baby.” (11:37)

Question 3: Stir-fry Utensils (12:23 – 12:56)

• Question: “Which of these utensils is commonly used to stir fry food? A) Wok, B) Crock Pot, C) Colander, D) Rotisserie”
• Erin instantly selects “Wok” and pleads for a prize other than grapes.
• Prize: A pineapple.
• Associated Banter:
  • Adal muses about inventing a hybrid "wok pot." (13:03)

Question 4: Spy Animal (13:09 – 13:48)

• Question: “Which of these animal names is also a term often used to describe a spy? A) Bull, B) Mole, C) Flea, D) Tiger”
• Erin hams up the deliberation but quickly chooses “Mole.”
• Prize: A king-sized candy bar, with the type left to her selection.
• Banter:
  • JPC offers Erin the chance to walk away with her winnings—she quickly agrees.
  • Quote:
    Erin: "Which kind?"
    JPC: "Dealer’s choice, Erin." (13:49)

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3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You did win eight bucks. Now, can I get confirmation that you received that $8?” – JPC (01:14)
• “You cannot because I did not.” – Adal (01:19)
• “You have just won one grape.” – JPC (10:35)
• “No, he’s my favorite person who ever confused the Four Seasons with the Four Seasons and had his hair dye dripping.” – Erin (11:37)
• “Italian Adal did this. The Italian made meatloaf his German.” – JPC (10:51)
• “Why don’t they make a wok pot?” – Adal (13:03)
• “You’re in the ball pen and you’re getting your arm warmed up. I need you to get your brain warmed up, because I’m about to lose and you’re about to be back up.” – Erin (05:21)

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4. Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:02–00:33 – Opening banter and segue to quiz game
• 01:12–01:32 – The $8 prize joke and Adal’s unfulfilled winnings
• 05:10–05:21 – “Ball pen” bit and Adal as backup
• 06:18–08:15 – Extended Rocket Money (fake ad) riffing
• 09:52 – Start of the quiz: “Who Wants to be a JPCillionaire?”
• 10:03–10:40 – First quiz question and grape prize
• 11:23–12:14 – Giuliani question and musing on politics
• 12:23–12:56 – Stir-fry question, “wok pot” gag, and pineapple prize
• 13:09–13:48 – “Mole” spy question, king-sized candy bar
• 13:57 – Erin walks away with her candy bar, ending the quiz segment

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5. Episode Tone & Style

• Full of quick-witted humor, inside jokes, and improvisational tangents.
• Lighthearted mockery of game show tropes and commercial interruptions.
• Surreal, sometimes absurd prize structure (grapes, pineapples, eventual candy bars).
• The trio’s camaraderie, teasing, and unique group dynamic shine throughout.

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Summary Takeaway:
This Patreon preview episode of Hey Riddle Riddle exemplifies the podcast’s signature irreverent tone, blending a spoof of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” with playful jabs at sponsors, gameshow structure, and one another. Instead of cutthroat competition, listeners get a warm, funny, and delightfully unpredictable experience—perfect for fans of improv comedy and podcasting shenanigans.

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Transcript

[A]

Adol. Aaron, do you guys like sequels?

[B]

Let me think.

[C]

If it's Godfather 2, yes. If it's Godfather 3, no.

[B]

I absolutely loved the new Avatar.

[C]

Let's meet the Fockers. Yes.

[A]

I will say that it's kind of important that you guys do like sequels because you're in one.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

And I just remembered that I didn't go last time.

[A]

Yeah, that'll kill me.

[B]

You promised you would if I ever got to this. You promised.

[A]

Adult.

[B]

Do it.

[C]

Look at the bunnies. Look at the bunnies, please.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Oh, that's so nice of you, Adol, to hit Aaron in the back of the head and make her look at a bunny.

[B]

He's a good friend. A great one even.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Well, you guys are in a sequel. And Aaron, you are correct. You did not go last time, and so you are going to go this time. Now, Adel, do you remember what you won last time?

[B]

A headache.

[C]

Eight bucks and a thumbs up.

[A]

Adel, you did win eight bucks. Now can I get confirmation that you received that $8?

[C]

You cannot because I did not.

[A]

Okay, great. Well, I still have to send that, which is perfect because basically the way it works is all the prizes are like batched out, you know, so it's like, it's. It's good that Aaron's going now because then I can kind of just like make sure that it all. It all goes out. I guess I did forget. Is the other thing too is I did forget to send you $8, but $8 is yours.

[B]

Why am I trying today?

[A]

Well, Aaron, because you might win $8.

[C]

Who wants to be an $8 nerd?

[B]

It sounds like if I won though, you wouldn't even send it to me.

[A]

Well, Aaron, I. I might send it to you because you might win $8.

[C]

You asked for my routing number. What did you do with it?

[A]

I routed to you preliminary $8. Sorry, guys, just.

[B]

He's mostly sound bites at this point.

[A]

Just try to figure out which. Which sound bite is which when we start playing the game. I do. Hey, I got great news. Last time I did not have a sound effect for when you lose, but I looked one up and now I do have a sound effect for when you lose.

[B]

Oh, great. Just in time for me to play.

[A]

Exactly. Now, as you know, the only way for us to get to a million dollars in this game is for me to use real people that actually went to a million dollars. Aaron, the person that you are playing today, the person whose game you are playing, and you're not allowed to look it up. Won a million dollars or. Oh yeah, didn't win a million dollars. They're from Los Angeles, Aaron.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And they won their million dollars in April 29th of 2001.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And their name?

[B]

Five years ago.

[A]

And their name is Kevin Smith.

[C]

Oh, whoa.

[B]

No relation.

[A]

Mallrats. Is this the same Kevin Smith from Mallrats?

[B]

It's not.

[A]

It's not. Now, Aaron, before we made. We did that thing that they do on who Wants to Be a Millionaire where we do like the fastest finger question, right? But

[B]

my finger was slow.

[A]

And ADOL weirdly got like the craziest, hardest question. He got it exactly correct.

[C]

Architects.

[A]

Yeah, we kind of drifted right by. We were like, oh, wow, he got that. Huh? I was not expecting anyone to get that. But we don't need to do another one for you, Aaron, because you are up. So you just get to go. There's no other person on this show so you don't, you don't have to do an insanely hard fastest finger question. But Aaron, do you remember how the game is played?

[B]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[A]

Okay. So you're.

[B]

I'm ready to play. Hey, wants to be a riddle. Yay.

[A]

I believe the name that we're going with is who wants to be a JP Cillionaire for this one? And we can not.

[B]

What? I said something I wouldn't be able to repeat right now if you gave me a million dollars.

[A]

And Aaron, you might get a million dollars. I mean, not really. I think the highest the ADOL got up to was what was it?

[B]

Pat on the back.

[A]

A mid range block of cheese was on the line at one point. But Aaron, it is the same.

[C]

Pretty far.

[A]

He did go pretty far. You went to like question 11 or something, right?

[C]

Something like that.

[B]

You got like a DVD player or something.

[A]

Yeah, you certainly got $8 that you might one day get. But Aaron, it's going to be some of the same prizes on the line. But we haven't even been to the grand prizes yet. So it could be even grander prizes than adol. Wow. Are you ready?

[B]

Yeah. I wonder how well I'll do.

[C]

Where's my $8?

[A]

You get it, man. As soon as I get it. As soon as I get it, you get it. That's how it works.

[B]

Maybe adol, you know how like on the side of baseball games they have the backup pitcher sort of like keeping his arm warm and loose, throwing some practice pitches.

[C]

Baseball game, you know, like bullpen.

[B]

No, no, no. Like they like on the side. On the side they have a pitcher, sort of like this guy needs to

[C]

shut up in the bullpen.

[B]

Is that what it is?

[C]

The bullpen?

[B]

Okay, the ball pin. Then what's the thing they sit in the ball pit. The ball pit. What's the thing they sit in the ball pin. The dugout. You're not in the dugout. You're in the ball pen and you're getting your arm warmed up. I need you to get your brain warmed up, because I'm about to lose and you're about to be back up.

[A]

But, Aaron, you still have three lifelines. You have 50. 50. You have Colin Adle, and you have Asuka, Casey, KPC.

[B]

I know exactly how this is going to work. I'm going to get the first question wrong. So second question wrong. Third question wrong. All three of my lifelines, I get burned through.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

They saved my life. They saved my life. They saved my life. Fourth one, I got no more lifelines. When I get it wrong, I actually fall through the cracks.

[A]

If you get the first question wrong, the game is over. Adel almost found that out, but. So everyone gets one JPC save where you do the wrong one. But it was maybe because you misheard it and you really shouldn't have gotten that wrong. I will give you one JPC save.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

Hey, Aaron. Hey, gpc. Can you guys help me figure something out?

[A]

Oh, sure.

[B]

Always.

[C]

I have this charge. I pull up my bank account here. I have this charge that says JPC tax $5,000. It's like a monthly deduction.

[B]

Oh, I. Yes. No, no. I go to your Rocket Money app and have them cancel that for you.

[C]

Thank God.

[B]

We signed up for the free trial like three months ago and then we forgot about it. And I noticed it. I got like a ping from Rocket Money in my email and let me know that I had been paying for.

[A]

Lost another one to Rocket Money. Oh, man. Yeah. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Unless you're me with the GPC tax, then your savings are dwindling. With Rocket Money, you can do automatic transaction categorization across your accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns and add context. Also, if you have like, a big event coming up, like something that a wedding or some monumental expense, it helps you plan and save for something like that.

[B]

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years and years way before they were ever a sponsor. And I love how easy it is to read and how intuitive it is.

[C]

Yeah, I love Rocket Money. But Aaron, I do hate that voice. Was that jpc? It sounded like a Rumpelstiltskin type voice. Did you hear that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. So that's just like. That's a voice alert I have on my phone every time someone unsubscribes to the JPC tax. I don't know where it's from or how to turn it off.

[B]

Oh, that's kind of scary. We'll deal with that later.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle

[A]

lost another one to Rocket Money.

[B]

Yeah, that's not even coming from your phone.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. Is that coming from inside of our heads?

[C]

Maybe.

[A]

Yeah, like heaven maybe.

[B]

Yoix Blakes JPC it's that time of the year where all of my goals have kind of gone out the window. Cause I am busy, busy, busy busy, busy. And it is hard to figure out like when to cook and when to go grocery shopping and meal planning. I'm exhausted.

[A]

Aaron my friend, you look it. But have I told you about Tempo? Tempo delivers fresh chef crafted dietitian proof meals right to your door. Plus each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast without the sad desk lunch or drive through regret. Adel, I know you love Tempo.

[C]

Oh yes. I don't often. I love the word scrumptious. I don't get to use it often. These options are scrumptious and healthy. I've been enjoying the five spice glazed chicken thighs, the chili shrimp rice bowl and one of my favorites, the picante carnitas pork rice bowl. Nom nom nom nom nom nom.

[B]

And no matter what your goals, there's a Tempo meal for you. Protein packed meals with up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious and even GLP1 balanced meals. It's convenient but also flexible enough to fit the way you want to eat. I look it. I look tired.

[A]

Look Amber for a limited time and that might be all you have. Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to tempo meals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle R A for 60% off your first box. Templemeals.com riddle Rules and restrictions may apply.

[B]

I look it. I look it.

[C]

You're standing in front of a mirror.

[B]

I look it.

[A]

They do exist. Aaron, here's your first question. Which of these projectiles is normally shot?

[B]

Vomit.

[C]

Final answer.

[A]

From a slingshot, is it A stone, B, arrow, C, cannonball, or D, mom's meatloaf?

[B]

Could you read them again? Could I have a definition, please?

[A]

Come on, Aaron.

[B]

It's a stone.

[A]

Is that your final answer?

[B]

Tis. Mom's meatloaf. Don't flip that.

[A]

Aaron, there's no need for us to, because you have just won one grape.

[B]

One grape.

[C]

Well, wait a minute. I don't know if either of you ever read Dennis the Italian Menace, but he always shot a slingshot full of meatloaf.

[A]

Italian adult did this. The Italian make me love his German. All right, Aaron, here's your next question.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

From 1994 to 2001 to 2001, Rudy Giuliani served as the 107th mayor of what city is it? A, Washington, D.C. b, Chicago, C, Boston or D, New York City?

[B]

What's it gonna be. Now, Aaron, Rudy is Giuliani.

[A]

Before the show, you were telling me that you are from Boston and that Rudy Giuliani is your favorite mayor.

[B]

No, he's my favorite person who ever confused the Four Seasons with the Four Seasons and had his hair dyed, dripping. I missed the Giuliani days, guys. It got so much worse after that. New York City, baby.

[A]

Yeah. New York City. Aaron, final answer?

[B]

Final answer.

[A]

I just have a feeling that people are really going to want to hear the sounds, so I'm going to play them each time. You got it? Aaron, you now have 10 grapes. 10 grapes is in your pocket. But remember, you're going in around three, so if you. If you want to walk away at any time, you can, you're still going to get to keep.

[B]

Is mine just grapes? Is my. Don't giggle. Is mine just various grapes?

[A]

Aaron, that would be mean. Here's your question number three. Aaron, still have my grapes. Which of these utensils is commonly used to stir fry food? A, a wok, B, a crock pot, C, a colander or D, a rotisserie?

[B]

A, a wok.

[A]

Final answer.

[B]

Erin? Well, yeah, but I don't want grapes this time. Give me something that isn't 18 grapes.

[C]

No.

[A]

Aaron, of course you've won round three and you are now the proud owner of One Pineapple.

[C]

Why don't they make a wok pot

[A]

addled not to your called. Please

[C]

apologies. I'll be here tinkering on a wok pot, sort of a crock pot meets a walk.

[A]

Aaron, question four. Which of these animal names is also a term often used to refer to a spy? Is it A, a bull, B a mole, C a flea or D a tiger?

[B]

B a mole. Although hold on, I should do the thing that where you're really thinking about.

[A]

No, you don't have to.

[B]

Oh okay, great.

[A]

You got it. It's a mole. Aaron. And now you are a proud owner of a king sized candy bar. Quite an upgrade from a pineapple in both flavor.

[B]

Which kind?

[A]

It's dealer's choice. Aaron.

[B]

Oh amazing.

[A]

You can walk away right now and keep a king size candy bar.

[B]

Yep. Let's do it.

[A]

1, 2, 3, 4. Hey Riddle. Riddle's Clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle riddle.