Patreon Preview #369: Welcome to Flippertech Global

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #369: "Welcome to Flippertech Global"

Release Date: April 3, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)

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Episode Overview

This wacky bonus episode of "Hey Riddle Riddle" takes listeners into the fictional world of the hosts as tech magnates and founders of the smash hit "Penguin Baseball." Now, flush with cash and questionable motivations, they’re unveiling their latest bizarre venture: Flipper Tech Global. The episode unspools as a blend of improv, mock corporate meeting, and surreal comedy—swerving between fake product pitches, corporate intrigue, and straight-up absurdism.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Technical Difficulties and "Tech Toby" (00:04 – 01:13)

• Opening chaos as hosts pretend to join a video call, with one feeding into the bit by "dialing in" from a Maserati doing 185 mph.
• Introduction of “Tech Toby,” initially thought to be a robot but actually a human intern.
  • Erin jokes: “Toby is a 22-year-old intern. Classic human style.”

2. Penguin Baseball & Corporate Money (01:15 – 02:15)

• The trio in-character as the “three founders” reflect on their billion-dollar merch success and “how money has changed them.”
• GPC quips: “Money’s changed us.”

3. Introducing Flipper Tech Global (02:15 – 03:14)

• Adal congratulates the team for reinvesting their ill-gotten (and possibly tax-evading) earnings into “Flipper Tech Global.”
  • John: “Our tax guy said that was the best way to hide it... We did it purely for the wrong reasons.”
  • Erin, paranoid: “This is parody. Just want to repeat. This is parody.”

4. Big Ideas for the New Season (03:14 – 04:53)

• JPC pushes for low-effort, high-profit options: “Can we make it even more basic? Like a fallow year for the field?”

• Adal and Erin pitch ramping up development with “metal beaks,” “growth hormone,” and especially...

• Waddlewear — costumed suits for birds to impersonate penguins.

• Glacier Cloud — for “downloading penguins,” a nonsensical AI project.

  • Erin: “We are obviously trying to force AI into everything that we’re doing.” (04:39)
  • The team dances around the question of “penguin DNA” experiments.

5. Awkward Improvised Relationship Subplot (05:00 – 05:25)

• Side bit as “scientists” are questioned about their relationship status, unsure about romance but certain about sex.
  • GPC: “Is it purely sexual? Are you falling in love?”
  • “Scientists” (improv voices): “We don’t talk.”

6. More on Penguin Tech: Office Culture & HR (05:49 – 06:38)

• JPC makes a threat, tongue-in-cheek: “If you don’t tell us what’s going on, we’ll have you killed.”
• Long running gag riffing on employees with John C. Reilly / John C. McGinley voices.
  • GPC: “I said John T. McGinley.”
  • Adal: “That was one of your many, many requests, that as many people as possible at this company have John C. Reilly voice.”

7. The Freefall Scene—Absurd Action Movie Vibes (06:45 – 07:29)

• GPC claims to be in freefall off a bridge, heightening the absurdity.
  • GPC (deadpan): “I went off an incomplete bridge about 60 seconds ago, and I’m in a full free fall.”
  • Ludacris (the rapper, a.k.a. Chris Bridges) is imagined to be in the car, “kind of freaking out.”

8. The Notorious “JPC Tax” Charge (07:37 – 09:22)

• Erin asks about a suspicious recurring $5,000 charge labeled “JPC tax.”
  • Adal: “Go to your Rocket Money app and have them cancel that for you.”
  • GPC improvises a dramatic voice alert for when the tax is canceled: “That’s a voice alert I have every time someone unsubscribes to the JPC tax.”

9. Peak Absurdity: Cloning 1930s “Baseball Penguin” DNA (11:20 – 12:53)

• Adal reveals they’ve found “old baseball penguin DNA” in Antarctica and are considering cloning 1930s-style penguins.
  • Adal: "This was a penguin built sort of like a 1930s baseball player."
  • JPC & Erin riff about physical features: “Broadened his shoulders. 65 years old, quite drunk all the time.” (12:01)
  • Fears are raised about a “Jurassic Park” scenario.

10. Monster Baseball Team and Ominous Finale (13:13 – 14:03)

• Imagined monsters (“Phoenixes, Pegasi, Mermaids...”) are revealed to be laying eggs, wielding gloves, and ready to play baseball—improvised chaos.
  • Erin: “It’s laying eggs in my chest.” (13:58)
• GPC as a monster: “Must steal second base. 1, 2, 3, 4.” (14:03)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Adal: “My Maserati doesn’t go 185.” (00:31)
• GPC: "I'm out chasing fences." (00:33)
• GPC: “At 185? You’ll never know. I could have hit a full-grown elk. It is particles now.” (03:44)
• Adal: “We're developing waddlewear to let other birds look more like penguins… waddle like a penguin.” (04:21)
• GPC (on corporate DNA science): “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. We did it purely for the wrong reasons.” (01:51)
• Adal (as a news anchor): “Back to you guys. Back to me on the Zoom call.” (02:21)
• GPC: “What do you mean? That was per your request in hiring…” (06:04)
• JPC (improvised threat): “Otherwise, we’ll have you killed.” (05:49)
• Adal: “We have the opportunity to mix it [old baseball penguin DNA] with other DNA and bring them back to life... to have them join us this penguin baseball season.” (12:14)
• GPC (absurdly): “Must steal second base. 1, 2, 3, 4.” (14:03)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:04 – 01:13: Tech chaos, "Tech Toby" intro, Maserati running gag
• 01:15 – 02:15: Founders in-character banter about success and wealth
• 03:14 – 04:53: “Penguin Baseball” season plans — tech, beaks, growth hormone, waddlewear, AI
• 05:00 – 05:25: “Scientists” relationship status bit
• 06:44 – 07:29: Freefall action sequence, Ludacris cameo
• 07:37 – 09:22: The mystery of the “JPC Tax”
• 11:20 – 12:53: “1930s Baseball Penguin” DNA cloning plot
• 13:13 – 14:03: Monster baseball team revealed, surrealist horror ending

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Overall Tone & Style

This episode fully embraces the surreal, improv-heavy humor that defines "Hey Riddle Riddle." The trio riff off each other at breakneck speed, lacing every corporate parody with outlandish world-building and running gags, creating an absurd, sitcom-style alternate universe. It’s delightfully unhinged while still poking fun at tech culture, corporate ambition, and themselves.

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For fans of the show, it’s a perfect showcase of the podcast’s blend of character-driven nonsense and sharp, off-the-cuff improvisational comedy. For new listeners: buckle up. The riddles are scarce, but the laughs are abundant.

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Listen to the rest by joining the Clue Crew at Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle!

Transcript

[A]

Adel. Aaron, gpc. Can you hear us? Can you see us?

[B]

We can hear you. We can't see you.

[A]

All right, let's get.

[C]

I can hear you. My video is on. It is a video of my right leg and my foot. I'm in my Maserati. I'm doing about 185 on the highway right now.

[B]

Oh, your Maserati goes 185?

[C]

My Maserati goes 185. I did lose my license, but I could still drive.

[A]

My Maserati doesn't go 185.

[B]

And I'm out chasing fences.

[A]

I'm out chasing waterfalls. All right, well, great. Great to hear from you guys. We're gonna get our tech Toby to sort out the video, but I figured we just.

[C]

Tech Toby. Is that some sort of like robot? I was thinking like a October promotion or something like that. Like no nut November. Is that like a no nut November.

[A]

October.

[B]

Toby, It's a robot with eight arms.

[C]

I love that. How do I order a tech Toby? I'm just mashing my finger into my phone.

[A]

Toby is a 22 year old intern, classic human style. Recent graduate.

[C]

Am I on mute?

[A]

No, not on mute. So excited to have the three founders of Penguin Baseball here today. How are you guys doing generally? Are you excited about the new season?

[C]

Three of the three founders.

[B]

Money's changed us. What was your question?

[A]

Well, yeah, that makes sense. Penguin Baseball has been a huge success. Congratulations on making over a billion dollars on merch sales last year.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

We're very honored that you decided to put so much of the money back into the company and start Flipper Tech Global.

[C]

Well, our tax guy said that was the best way to hide it. So we're just. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. We did it purely for the wrong reasons.

[B]

And of course our tax guy's on this call and this is all parody. This is just a. This is parody. Just want to repeat. This is parody. Aaron, you've been so quiet.

[A]

Well, I'm chasing waterfalls out here. Adol again. Money has changed me in sort of a major way.

[C]

But sound like a news reporter.

[B]

Yeah. Did you take a news reporter class?

[C]

Sounds like you threw it to you in the field.

[B]

Why do they all sound the same?

[A]

I have taken a news reporter class, Adel. It was a dream of mine. That is something I am spending the money on. Back to you guys. Back to me on the zoom call.

[C]

The most she's ever said our names.

[A]

Repeating our names.

[B]

I didn't even get the weather.

[A]

Well, we obviously wanted to hop on this call to sort of touch base penguin baseball. Pun intended.

[B]

Safe.

[A]

Great to see if you guys have any big ideas for the season ahead. And I wanted to let you know some of the technology we've been working on in order to ensure a great penguin baseball season.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, I think we're mostly looking to kind of ramp things up this year. Sort of get, I don't know, metal beaks or some sort of like growth hormone. Just really, really make it bigger and better.

[C]

And for my camp out here, I was kind of thinking the opposite. I was thinking, is there a way that we can scale back, do less? Is there a way that we can make it even more basic? Kind of give us like a. You know how in planting a field you have like a fallow year to allow the soil to kind of bounce back? Maybe do something like that with Pigo basics. Something low effort. Low effort that prints money. Is that at all possible?

[B]

Like mom and pop stadiums, gpc.

[A]

Did you just hit a dog with Your Maserati?

[C]

At 185? You'll never know. I could have hit a full grown elk. It would be the same. It is particles now.

[B]

It's missed.

[C]

Well, pink mist, I think that's your word, right, Aaron, you love saying pink mist.

[A]

I do. Jpc, thank you so much for paying attention to me when I talk back to you. Adol and JPC on the zoom call. All right, well, Adol, I think so far we are much more in the camp of moving forward, forging ahead like you were talking about. Obviously, we're developing waddlewear, which is penguin suits that other birds could wear to look more like a penguin, move like a penguin, waddle like a penguin.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

We have the glacier cloud where we can download penguins into that. That has proved challenging because it makes no sense. We are obviously trying to force AI into everything that we're doing.

[B]

Oh, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.

[A]

And just shoving it in places. Guys, no, don't, don't pitch the penguin DNA. They're not ready.

[C]

Pun intended, I hope.

[A]

Yeah, sorry. Pun intended. We have a couple scientists here who are really excited about something, but I doubt you guys are really interested in what they've got going on.

[C]

A couple of scientists. Are they married? Hooking up Married. What's the vibe here?

[A]

How would you guys define it? Is it purely sexual? Are you falling in love? How's it going, scientists?

[B]

I wasn't in love until we had sex. Yeah, sexual. Just sexual?

[C]

It's sexual, but no. I could be Open. We just haven't had a conversation. We just haven't.

[B]

We don't talk.

[A]

They're not sure.

[B]

Well, I always say strike while the iron's ball, so why don't we hear what.

[A]

Adel, that is very funny. We here over at Chasing Waterfalls think that that was an awesome joke. Back to you, Adel. And GPC on the Zoom call.

[C]

Finally, someone throwing it back to me. I've been kind of waiting for someone to throw it back.

[B]

I'll be throwing it back to you another.

[C]

Feels like only one person in this whole call was throwing it back to me.

[B]

But I think whatever you're hiding, whatever you're whispering about, I think we want to know about. Otherwise, we'll have you killed.

[C]

Yeah, but I don't want to hear those dumbass scientists explain it. I want you to explain it. You have an authoritative voice, and those guys both sound like two John C. Reillys.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come on. Come on, man.

[C]

What do you mean?

[A]

That was per your request in hiring. That was one of your many, many requests, is that you wanted every. As many people as possible at this company to have John C. Reilly voice. But we can sort that out.

[C]

I said John T. McGinley.

[B]

Oh, John. Oh, the guy from Scrubs. I love that guy.

[C]

Okay, John McKinley.

[A]

We'll get HR on that as soon as possible.

[B]

Nobody does mad like John C. McGinley.

[C]

C. McGinley. Is it C? Is there two John C's? C. Wow. Crazy.

[B]

Separated at birth.

[A]

I am chasing waterfalls, boys. So I do not have the means to Google that right now, but I will take your word for it. Back to you, Adeline. JPC on the Zoom call.

[B]

This time she had a blazer on.

[C]

And if we can get to whatever we're getting to quick, just for full clarity here, I went off of an incomplete bridge about 60 seconds ago, and I am in a full free fall. I've got about 1100ft of elevation, so I think I should be good for a while.

[A]

That's not bad. Also, if you're. It's a sort of cinematic moment that could buy us some time because.

[C]

Oh, it's plenty cinematic.

[A]

Then that's great. It's possible that you're moving in slow mo. So that should buy us even more.

[C]

I don't know if you guys can hear it. Maybe you can't hear it because of the way that the call is set up, but. Ludacris. Chris Bridges is sitting. Chris Ludacris Bridges. Thank you. I'm so sorry. I had to take that Again, C.

[A]

Bridges sitting right next to me, and

[C]

he's kind of freaking out. So it is very much a cinematic moment.

[A]

Okay, fantastic. Glad to know that he's a part of the team still.

[C]

Hey, Aaron.

[B]

Hey, gpc. Can you guys help me figure something out?

[C]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Always.

[B]

I have this charge. I pull up my bank account here. I have this charge that says JPC tax, $5,000. It's like a monthly deduction.

[A]

Oh, I. Yes. No, no. I go to your Rocket Money app and have them cancel that for you.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

We signed up for the free trial, like, three months ago, and then we forgot about it. And I noticed it. I got, like, a ping from Rocket Money in, and they let me know that I had been paying for.

[C]

Lost another one to Rocket Money. Oh, man. Yeah. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Unless you're me with the GPC tax, and then your savings are dwindling. With Rocket Money, you can do automatic transaction categorization across your accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns and add context. Also, if you have, like, a big event coming up, like something that. Like a wedding or some monumental expense, it helps you plan and save for something like that.

[A]

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years and years, way before they were ever a sponsor. And I love how easy it is to read and how intuitive it is.

[B]

Yeah, I love Rocket Money, but, Aaron, I do hate that voice. Was that jpc? It sounded like a Rumpelstiltskin type voice. Did you hear that?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No. So that's just like. That's a voice alert I have on my phone every time someone unsubscribes to the JPC tax. I don't know where it's from or how to turn it off.

[A]

Oh, that's kind of scary. We'll deal with that later.

[B]

Yeah, well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle

[C]

lost another one to Rocket Money.

[A]

Yeah, that's not even coming from your phone.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

Is that coming from inside of our heads? Maybe.

[C]

Yeah, like heaven, maybe.

[A]

Yoix Blakes jpc It's that time of the year where all of my goals have kind of gone out the window. Cause I Am busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. And it is hard to figure out like when to cook and when to go grocery shopping and meal planning. I'm exhausted.

[C]

Aaron, my friend, you look it. But have I told you about Tempo? Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted, dietitian proof meals right to your door. Plus each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast without the sad desk lunch or drive through regret. Adel, I know you love Tempo.

[B]

Oh yes, I don't often. I love the word scrumptious. I don't get to use it often. These options are scrumptious and healthy. I've been enjoying the five spice glazed chicken thighs, the chili shrimp rice bowl and one of my favorites, the picante carnitas pork rice bowl. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom nom.

[A]

And no matter what your goals, there's a Tempo meal for you. Protein packed meals with up to 30 grams of protein, calorie conscious and even GLP1 balanced meals. It's convenient but also flexible enough to fit the way you want to eat. I look it. I look tired.

[C]

Look Aaron, for a limited time and that might be all you have, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to tempomeals.com Riddle that's tempomeals.com Riddle R A for 60% off your first box. Templemeals.com Riddle Rules and restrictions may apply.

[A]

I look it. I look it.

[B]

You're standing in front of a mirror.

[A]

I look it.

[B]

They do exist.

[A]

I When you started Flipper Tech Global, we obviously our mission statement is we didn't want it to get out of control in sort of a Jurassic park style or any other money hungry company that's willing to do anything. So this might fall under that category. We're trying to be cautious about it. We did find some DNA at our most recent excursion in Antarctica of the old baseball penguin. This was a penguin that was built sort of like a 1930s baseball player.

[C]

The pinnacle of athleticism, the 1930s baseball player.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Broadened his shoulders. 65 years old, quite drunk all the time.

[C]

Arteries like unsalted butter.

[B]

Smoking during the game.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

And drinking during the sleep.

[A]

We have the opportunity to sort of mix it with other DNA and bring them back to life. Perhaps to have them join us this penguin baseball season. Oh yeah, this is a. Oh, sign off.

[C]

Oh yeah. You said it's not going to be like Jurassic Park.

[A]

Oh, I'm saying that that was our hope when we started the company. This has a lot of risk factors. Mr. Cohen. I don't know if this is the best idea.

[C]

Mr. Cohen. What are you, my dominatrix?

[A]

No, she called in sick today.

[C]

Oh, that's part of her thing.

[A]

Morale has been pretty low with the dominatrix. I don't think they quite knew what they were signing up for.

[C]

Look, you said it yourself, it's the best idea. I say go with it. As long as it's not going to turn into a Jurassic park thing and you have full faith that it won't. What's the risk? Hang up. Hang up the phone. Hang it up. I want to listen to this.

[B]

No, this is cool. Is this killing by hunting?

[C]

Is this killing by hunting? A human vibe. It's making me feel like what I'm doing is evil or ominous. I know this song. Who is this?

[A]

Is this the National Phoenixes? Pegasi Mermaids. It was Phoenix, Dragon, Centaur.

[C]

I love Phoenix.

[B]

What was their big one? Lia Griffin.

[A]

Yeti Vampo.

[B]

Oh, maybe it's Vampire Weekend.

[A]

It's horrible. They are all monsters and they all have baseball gloves. Oh, God. They are ready to play baseball.

[B]

It's laying eggs in my chest. It's laying eggs in my chest.

[A]

They're killing us.

[C]

Must steal second base. 1, 2, 3, 4.

[A]

Hey, Riddle.

[C]

Riddle's Clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle Riddle Foreign.

[D]

Couture here. I'm the host of Tell Me what Happened, a podcast that shares true stories of people helping people. We have a ton of amazing new episodes, including one of my favorite stories we've ever done. Listen to season six of Tell Me what Happened. Day or night. VRBoCare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.