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Jeff T.
Excuse me. I'm not trying. I'm not trying to be rude, but I've got these cobblers staked out. So if you're. If you're looking for cobbler for your pile or these are.
Mary Ellen Stuson
You caught me. You caught me. This is. This. I. I had my eye on those cobblers, but those are yours. I want to play a fair game.
Jeff T.
Holy.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Oh. Oh, my God.
Jeff T.
Mary Ellen. Yes. Mary Ellen Stuson.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Yes. Every chairman, as I live and breathe.
Jeff T.
Yeah, I'm actually going by Jeff T. Now.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Ah, you're trying to distance yourself from the old last name. I see. I see.
Jeff T.
Oh, yeah. Huh. I guess. Yeah. I actually never. Oh. People could interpret what I'm doing as that. Yeah, yeah.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Your ancestors sort of being the shame of the town. Sort of a stain on your family. I get it. You've been doing the international eating competitions, haven't you?
Jeff T.
Yeah, yes. I've been doing kind of the whole international circuit. You know, starting off in Japan, Belarusa. Going into kind of the African continent. Not cracked Europe yet. Oh, yeah. Not cracked Europe yet. Still kind of working on the invites there. It's political, you know, it's all political.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Yeah. Well, it's good to have you back. It's been a lot of easy wins around these parts without you around.
Jeff T.
Oh, really?
Mary Ellen Stuson
You've been winning easy wins for them? Oh, I think I'm not at the top of my game anymore. Got it.
Jeff T.
Yeah. I mean, I didn't want to say anything, but you look fantastic.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Oh, thanks. 92. My kids are begging me to have this be my last cobbler eating competition because these usually knock me out for several weeks.
Jeff T.
I'm sorry, you said 92, and I'm looking at you and I'm like, in my mind I'm saying, pounds or age? Pounds or age? Pounds or age?
Mary Ellen Stuson
Both.
Jeff T.
Both. Okay, good, good. Hey, good for you, Mary Ellen. Good for you.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Yeah, well, so this might be the last time you're seeing me at the Cobbler Gobbler.
Jeff T.
Come on.
Mary Ellen Stuson
They said, don't put me in a home if I. If I do another one after this, because it.
Jeff T.
Oh, a home.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Yeah.
Jeff T.
Okay, well.
Mary Ellen Stuson
No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff T.
Okay. I thought you were saying your kids were gonna have you.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Can they legally do that?
Jeff T.
Yeah.
Mary Ellen Stuson
What?
Jeff T.
Yeah. You said you're 92? Yeah, yeah, yeah, big time.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Well, good luck today.
Jeff T.
Hey, great luck to you. You know, I didn't realize it was you. If you want one of these cobblers, I can.
Mary Ellen Stuson
No, no, no. Just because I'm the original Cobbler Gobbler winner. Just Because I'm the one who won, the first ever one does not mean I deserve special treatment.
Jeff T.
No, no, I wasn't. Yeah, of course. No, I wouldn't give you special treat, but I don't think you're. I don't think you can beat me is basically what I'm saying. I was trying to be nice about it, but I don't think you can beat me.
Carl Hirsch
Is this where we set our coats? Are we allowed to set our coats here?
Jeff T.
This is a table full of cobblers. Please, please, please, please don't set your. Please don't set your coats.
Carl Hirsch
Where do we. This is my first time doing this. Is this. Do we set our coats over here?
Mary Ellen Stuson
It's sort of a hot, hot day. I'm not really sure why you brought a coat. I don't think they have.
Carl Hirsch
I'm just trying to find everybody else's coat. I don't know where to set mine down.
Jeff T.
Well, I think.
Carl Hirsch
Where did you guys put your coats?
Jeff T.
I think what Mary Ella's trying to say, friend, is that most of us didn't bring coats. But if you do want to put your coat somewhere, I think like any one of the empty tables is fine. Or just keep your coat with you if you. If you're worried about it.
Carl Hirsch
Oh, the people who did bring coats, where'd they put them? I just want to put my coat the same place everybody else did.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Yeah, I don't think a single other person brought a coat out to this 95 degree day.
Carl Hirsch
Nobody else brought a coat.
Mary Ellen Stuson
You seem pretty nervous. First Cobbler Gobbler.
Carl Hirsch
Yeah, yeah, it's my first time. Where's the bathroom?
Mary Ellen Stuson
Porta Potties lined up on the side.
Jeff T.
Porta John's kind of a row of Porta John. What'd you say your name was, friend?
Carl Hirsch
My name's Hirsch.
Jeff T.
Hirsch, like the car?
Carl Hirsch
Yeah, like the car. That's my family. Yeah.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Wow.
Jeff T.
That's your last name? Your last name's Hirsch?
Carl Hirsch
Yes.
Jeff T.
Okay, great. Do you have a first name or are you the type of. Yeah, you seem to be the type of gentleman who would maybe want to go only by last name.
Carl Hirsch
I just go by my last name. Yeah, just. Yeah, just Hirsch. My first name's Carl.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Okay, Carl.
Jeff T.
It is. It is Carl.
Mikey Panties
Yeah.
Jeff T.
Okay, just pronounce Carl.
Carl Hirsch
So are we allowed to use those bathrooms over there or can I go inside the church if I do want to have a.
Mary Ellen Stuson
You cannot go inside the church. They will freak out if you try to use those bathrooms. They will freak about it.
Jeff T.
Every year, somebody from the Cobbler Cobbler absolutely destroys one of those church bathrooms. And they've got Nick. And Nick is the church custodian and he will absolutely rail on you with his. What? I guess it's a BO staff. Yeah, he calls it a bo staff. It's a broken broom basically. But it's got the equivalence of a BO staff and nickname.
Mary Ellen Stuson
He's got two strikes with the local law enforcement if he hurts another one of us, so that should keep us safe.
Adler or JPC (podcast ad speaker)
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Carl Hirsch
And so these cobblers over here are up for grabs. These are the one that you're standing in front of?
Jeff T.
No, these are my cobblers. So the way. If you Nick so Hirsch. The way the cobbler gobbler goes. Since it's your first time is after the cobbler cook off is over, you just kind of pick any discarded cobbler that you want, you put it in your pile, and then you're gonna try your best to get through the whole pile.
Carl Hirsch
These over here, these ones that you're standing in front of, look good?
Jeff T.
Yes. These? Well, yeah, they look good for a reason. I always get here a little early, probably two, three hours early when I'm doing the Cobbler Gobbler and I get any meat cobbler that people made. So this is all. This is turkey. I think that's turkey as well. That's ham. Canadian bacon, which is ham.
Carl Hirsch
Can I have the Canadian bacon one?
Jeff T.
You can't have any of these, Hirsch. These are mine. I stake out the meat cobblers because it's what I like and it helps me eat more. But you're free to walk around and kind of have.
Carl Hirsch
I'll just take a couple from your pile. I'm not gonna take all of them, but I just got here, so I didn't have the chance to get the ones that you've already picked out. So I'll take a couple from your pile
Jeff T.
now, friend, I'm trying to be friendly, but I've spent many years in Japan where they do things a little. Okay. And he took my cobbler. Okay. Huh?
Mary Ellen Stuson
Well, well, a winner never comes up with excuses. That's what you used to say. Gabe Tierman. Yeah.
Jeff T.
Jeez, Marion, you remembered stuff I said.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Yeah. When I started having a heart attack in 2006 during the Cobbler Gobbler. And I said, please, can we postpone? And he said, a winner never comes up with. Excuse me, excuses.
Jeff T.
That was real. Oh, my God, Mary Elden. I feel like the world's biggest fool. I thought you were trying to play me.
Mary Ellen Stuson
No, no, it was a real heart attack. It was a real heart attack. You know, I'm really hoping that, you know, who doesn't show today. I think we would all have a winning chance. Even Hirsch.
Carl Hirsch
What?
Mary Ellen Stuson
Oh, Hirsch. I was just talking about how the best. The best of the best of the best of competitive eaters sometimes shows up to the cobbler gobbler. And I haven't seen him yet. And I was saying I was grateful.
Carl Hirsch
Oh, who's that?
Jeff T.
He's one of these new generation, you know, cobbler gobblers. He's got all these newfangled. He uses science and faith and kind of a combination to make himself a better eater.
Mary Ellen Stuson
You know, he biohacked how to get More food into his body and faster. Mm.
Jeff T.
He's the Kobayashi of non hot dog related. Eat it. Because obviously Kobayashi. Or maybe is it Joey Chestnut? Now there's a different guy who's even better than Kobe. You know how Kobayashi was the first guy to soak the buns?
Mikey Panties
Well, well, well. No, Dad, I see my friends, dad. Dad. I see my friends, dad.
Jeff T.
Fuck off.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.
Mikey Panties
If it isn't second, third and fourth place.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Oh, he's calling it now.
Jeff T.
That's really, that's really nice of you. Oh, there's because there's only four of us. That's actually mean. It's actually mean to say that you
Mary Ellen Stuson
think I'm scared of some 16 year old punk kid. I'm not scared of you.
Mikey Panties
Oh, not scared of Mikey Pant? I think by the end of this you'll all be trembling.
Jeff T.
No, we're not scared of you, Mikey Panties. Okay. God, I thought, I thought for sure if they had the Cobbler Gobbler on a school day, there wasn't gonna be a spitting chance in hell that Mikey Panties would show up. How'd you get out of school today, Mikey?
Mikey Panties
My dad is the biology teacher and he whisked me out of school with a false emergency. Of course the Gobbler code prevents Hugh3 from ratting on me. Right?
Jeff T.
That's right, Hershey. You don't know about this, but he is.
Carl Hirsch
What's the Gobbler code?
Jeff T.
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble gobble code. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble code.
Mikey Panties
None of us betrays the rest.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Goblet betrays the rest. We come up with any excuses. That's why to the get to the Gobbler cob. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobbler, gobble gob.
Jeff T.
And you kind of do it in a round, like a row, row, row your boat.
Carl Hirsch
Okay.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Basically, it's just like, be a good person. Don't throw anyone under the bus. Don't cheat.
Carl Hirsch
Well, I want to do it like you guys did it. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble code. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble code. Be kind to others and don't be slow. Make sure you eat your cobbler like man. Now let me get a bite of that cobbler, man.
Jeff T.
Yeah, don't starve.
Adler or JPC (podcast ad speaker)
He's a natural.
Jeff T.
Yeah, you're getting caught up in the middle.
Mary Ellen Stuson
He's starving.
Jeff T.
Don't start yet. You don't stop.
Mary Ellen Stuson
Ah, just pulling a cobbler out of his hands.
Jeff T.
The last thing you eat is eat.
Carl Hirsch
I was having one bite. I just need to taste.
Jeff T.
1, 2, 3, 4. Hate riddle. Riddles. Clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle riddle
Mandy Moore
hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Sterling K. Brown
Sterling K. Brown.
Jeff T.
And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum.
Mandy Moore
Each episode we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.
Mary Ellen Stuson
This is us.
Sterling K. Brown
That's right.
Mandy Moore
We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers. And are we gonna cry?
Jeff T.
Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot? A whole lot.
Sterling K. Brown
That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.
Release Date: May 15, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan
Guest: Mike Brunlieb
This special Patreon preview episode transports listeners to the Marisol County “Cobbler Gobbler”—a fictional small-town festival and competitive eating event, brought to life by the show's improv mastery. The cast role-plays colorful contestants (and one nervous newcomer) as they gather around piles of questionable cobblers, swapping old war stories, boasting about eating prowess, and explaining the arcane rules and lore of the Cobbler Gobbler contest. Light on actual riddles but high on banter, chaos, and well-aged inside jokes, this episode highlights the improvisers’ knack for world-building and character-driven comedy.
Jeff T. (Adal): Lays territorial claim over his pile of cobbler, revealing a past in international eating competitions across Japan, “Belarusa”, and Africa—though Europe eludes him for “political reasons.”
Mary Ellen Stuson (Erin): Local legend and original Cobbler Gobbler winner; spry at “92 (pounds or years? Both!)” and contemplates retirement.
Family legacies and baggage:
Carl Hirsch (JPC): He’s anxious, clutching his coat on a 95-degree day, unsure where to leave it or where the bathrooms are. An outsider with car-related surname confusion and bathroom misadventures on the horizon.
Porta Potties & Church Warnings:
Jeff T. explains the rules: After the cook-off, pick any discarded cobbler for your “pile” and eat as much as possible. He specializes in “meat cobblers: turkey, ham, Canadian bacon.”
Carl attempts to poach Jeff’s cobbler, is rebuffed, and tries to sneak a sample anyway.
Mary Ellen reminisces about her near-death experiences competing:
A new threat arrives:
The “Gobbler Code”:
Carl improvises his own verse, eager for acceptance: - Carl: “Be kind to others and don't be slow. Make sure you eat your cobbler like man. Now let me get a bite of that cobbler, man.” (15:04)
Carl tries to sneak a bite of Jeff’s cobbler, initiating slapstick shenanigans as the others rein him in.
The bit closes out with the hosts rallying their Clue Crew to join Patreon for the rest of the shenanigans.
The episode is pure improv, with whimsical, character-driven humor, parodying small-town contests and competitive eating. The mood shifts between gentle ribbing (“pounds or age?”), outlandish backstories, and escalating farce, all while the hosts stay true to their affectionate, madcap storytelling style.
Even with few riddles, this episode brims with inventive world-building, playful roast humor and absurd festival pageantry. Both long-time “Clue Crew” devotees and newcomers will find themselves enveloped by the community spirit—and competitive ferocity—of the Marisol County Cobbler Gobbler.
To hear the rest of the festival madness, join the Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon for the full episode!