Patreon Preview #377: The Flight Stuff

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #377: The Flight Stuff

Release Date: May 29, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan

---

Episode Overview

In this comedic improv-heavy bonus episode, Adal, Erin, and JPC play out a chaotic scene at a United ticket counter, riffing on dysfunctional relationships, travel mishaps, and an expanding universe of surreal airline destinations and absurd personal histories. The scene is packed with wordplay, running gags, and the hosts' signature willingness to push bits as far and weird as they’ll go. As always, riddles take a backseat to absurd character banter and constant tangents.

---

Key Discussion Points & Improv Scenes

1. The Exes at the United Ticket Counter (00:03–03:59)

• Setup: Two ex-partners (Carol and her ex) arrive at a United ticket counter, arguing loudly about their breakup, travel plans, and their current single/not single status.
• Banter Highlights:
  • Carol and ex insist they're not together—"We just had breakup sex. But we're here at the airport." (00:28, B)
  • It's technically their honeymoon, but they’re flying "together, but not together" (00:31–00:41).
  • Ticket agent Adal gets caught in their bickering, with multiple jokes about destinations and typo mishaps, e.g., "Oops. I actually typed in horny. Can you let me backspace?" (00:52, A).
  • Ongoing confusion about sex, breakup initiation, and name mixups: "We were together. We're not together." / "We're together until he's horny again and he changes his mind." (00:15, C; 00:46, C).
  • Awkward flirting with the ticket agent: "Are you single? Are you seeing anybody?" (01:49, C)

2. Organ Donor Tangent & Escalation (02:55–03:59)

• Carol points out the ex isn't an organ donor, sparking a brief deadpan exchange about what "organ" means—"I misheard the guy and I thought he said Oregon donor. And I said no. Fuck those people." (02:59, B)
• Deadpan fact from Adal: "You know, they can't harvest organs from a dead body. So keep that in mind before you tick that box." (03:05, A)

3. Surreal Destinations & Machine Frustration (03:30–04:14)

• A string of joke destinations: "We have a flight for two, the 238 to Yuck City, Australia." (03:30, A)
• Frustration with self-serve machines and a riff about a "nude cafe" at the airport (04:00, B/C):
  • "You have a nude cafe here?" (04:01, B)
  • "What's the password for the nude cafe?" / "And it's capital N. Don't write it down." (04:05–04:11, C/A)

4. Astronaut Bit & Space Camp Infamy (04:19–05:02)

• Carol’s ex claims to be "doing it astronaut style" and gets roasted for being kicked out of the program:
  • "They kicked you out of the program and you've taken it out on me." (04:19, C)
  • "I hear the guy from the news." / "That was one of the funniest stories I've ever seen. The reason you got kicked out of Space Space Camp." (04:30–04:42, A)
  • "Yes, my performance was a little over the top. I don't know that I would describe it as camp, but bless you for doing so." (04:47, B)

---

AD BREAKS / NON-CONTENT (05:02–09:33 omitted)

---

5. Katy Perry Goes to Space & Annulment vs. Cancellation (09:33–10:14)

• Brief tangent about celebrity voyages and Carol's "cousin" Katy Perry:
  • "Did you guys see where Katy Perry went to space?" (09:33, A)
  • "She's actually my cousin..." (09:37, C)
• Confusion over terminology:
  • "Can you do annulments? ... For trips. Trip annulments. We want a trip." (09:50–09:58, B)
  • "You mean a cancellation." / "Why is... Are people obsessed with me? Knowing the lingo at your job." (10:01–10:09, A/B)

6. Alien Sex Riff & Crowd Participation (10:14–10:54)

• Debate over whether to "have sex with an alien for science":
  • "He told me that if he had the opportunity to an alien, that he would have to. For science." / "Same brother." (10:23–10:28, C/A)
  • "Hey, folks in line. Everyone please raise your hand if you would fuck an alien." (10:38, A)
  • "It's all the men and none of the women." (10:45, B)
  • "Now this whole flight is gonna be awkward..." (10:48, C)

7. More Ticket Counter Chaos: Same Name Rule (11:02–11:45)

• A convoluted airline rule: tickets can only be given to “someone with the exact same name” within the hour.
  • "We cannot here at United, we cannot cancel flights... only way to quote, unquote, get out of it... is for you to give this ticket to someone with the exact same name." (11:23–11:37, A)
  • "Because both our names are Carol." / "Great. I'll take his." (11:37–11:42, B/C)
  • "I'm Carol." (11:42, A)

8. Carol's Sick Parents, Fox City, and "Too Campy for Space Camp" (11:45–12:14)

• Joke about going to "Fuck City, Australia" and a running stinger about being "too campy for space camp."
  • "Are you joking? Are you joking? We're going to go visit my sick parents." (11:52, C)
  • "Have you ever heard of A guy who was too campy for space Camp." (12:05, B)

9. The Space Camp Video & Rockette/Rocket Bit (12:14–12:56)

• Video reenactment (audio) of the infamous "lifted by the shirt at space camp" moment, group watching/riffing:
  • "A cake couldn't do that to a human man, Carol." (12:41, B)
  • "It did because it did it to you. A cake. Rockette. That's what..." (12:44, C)
  • Running joke confusion: "Rockette? Who said Rockette?" (12:47–12:53, B/C)

10. Sudden Reveal: The Exes are the Pilots (13:01–13:16)

• New layer to the farce:
  • "I'm technically the pilot, so you to..." / "Oh, you're a pilot, ma'?"
  • "I'm a co pilot." (13:04–13:09, C/B)
  • "You don't need tickets." (13:11, A)

11. End-of-Scene Roast and Tips (13:18–13:31)

• Carol (exasperated) offers “700 tips to make you better at your job,” slamming the agent’s attitude. (13:23, C)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Oops. I actually typed in horny. Can you let me backspace?” — A (00:52), the first of many improv left-turns.
• "We just had breakup sex. But we're here at the airport." — B (00:28), jump-starting the premise.
• "I misheard the guy and I thought he said Oregon donor. And I said no. Fuck those people." — B (02:59), classic word misinterpretation.
• "You know, they can't harvest organs from a dead body. So keep that in mind before you tick that box." — A (03:05), a reliably deadpan factoid.
• “You have a nude cafe here?...What’s the password for the nude cafe?” — B/C (04:01, 04:05), escalating a bit to the absurd.
• “They kicked you out of the program and you’ve taken it out on me.” — C (04:19), skewering relationship fallout and ambition.
• “He told me that if he had the opportunity to an alien, that he would have to. For science.” — C (10:23), when alien sex riffs become airport group polling.
• "Hey, folks in line. Everyone please raise your hand if you would fuck an alien." — A (10:38), improvised crowd chaos.

---

Key Timestamps for Segments

• 00:03: Scene begins at United ticket counter
• 00:28: "Breakup sex" set-up
• 01:52: Carol flirts with the ticket agent
• 02:55: Organ donor gag
• 03:30: Absurd destination—Yuck City, Australia
• 04:00: "Nude cafe" riff
• 04:19: Astronaut/program bit
• 09:33: Katy Perry/space tangent resumes the in-character scene
• 10:38: "Raise your hand if you would fuck an alien" (audience chaos)
• 11:23: "Exact same name" airline policy punchline
• 12:14: Space Camp video reenactment/gathering
• 13:04: "I'm technically the pilot" reveal
• 13:23: "700 tips to make you better at your job" roast

---

Final Thoughts

This episode is classic Hey Riddle Riddle: high-velocity improvisation, relentless wordplay, fever-dream logic, and a steadfast refusal to resolve — or even actually present — an actual riddle. The chemistry among Adal, Erin, and JPC is on full display, as they weave together relationship drama, travel woes, and the utterly bizarre into a chaotic but hilarious airport scene, with plenty of quotable moments and meta riffs for longtime fans.

---

For more, subscribe to the Patreon to hear the full bonus episode and support the show.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, welcome to United Ticketing. Can I help you?

[B]

I'm sorry. We're not together. You kept looking back and forth between the two of us. Weren't.

[A]

Hold on. Are you joking?

[C]

No, we were together. We're not together.

[A]

We weren't together.

[C]

We were. Well, we worked together.

[A]

I'm sorry. Okay, you two just. There's a glow about you two. Something's going on where I'm like, these two need.

[B]

We just had.

[A]

Not my business. Not my business.

[B]

We just had breakup sex. But we're here at the airport.

[C]

Well, this is technically our honeymoon. Was supposed to be our honeymoon. Sorry. We both were too stubborn to give up the trip. But we're going separately.

[B]

Yeah, we're going same flight.

[A]

Oh, but we're not together.

[B]

But we're not together on the reservation. I'm sorry.

[C]

We're together until he's horny again and he changes his mind.

[B]

But okay.

[A]

Oops. I actually typed in horny. Can you let me backspace?

[C]

Wait, now, hold on. Wait. See if there's any flights to that.

[A]

Okay. Cornelia. New Zealand.

[C]

What's that like?

[B]

That's. Yeah, we were going to Australia, so.

[A]

Sorry. I work at a ticket encounter. I don't know what every city is like.

[B]

Oh, we have reservations.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Give me the destination, please.

[B]

Does it matter that we're not together for the. The reservation?

[C]

One of us want to go. We want to go one at a time.

[A]

Yeah, let's go. Whoever initiated the breakup, let's have them go first.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[C]

Okay, great.

[B]

Okay, great.

[C]

Then I'll go.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[A]

Then I'll go.

[B]

So you'll go.

[A]

Step forward. Okay.

[C]

Yep. So I'll go, I guess, then.

[B]

So you initiated the breakup?

[C]

Yeah, I'm sort of the one that initiated the conversation for the breakup.

[B]

That's. Okay. You see what she's doing, right? She initiated the conversation for the breakup.

[C]

Is that not initiating the breakup?

[A]

Can I have your id, please?

[C]

Yes. And are you single? Are you seeing anybody?

[A]

Me?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you. Let's see.

[C]

You're welcome.

[B]

What do you mean, thank you?

[C]

You're tall.

[B]

Carol. Wait until I'm in the goddamn ground, okay? Come on, Carol. Fuck.

[A]

Carol.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, no. You're horny again. You want to.

[B]

Yes, I am. But also, I just ate, so I don't really want to that bad.

[C]

It's not like swimming. You can buck after eating, asshole. Yes, My name is Carol. What?

[A]

Folks, hey, hey. Don't. There's no need to take a tone with me.

[C]

I'm not taking a tone with You. I'm freaking flirty tone with you.

[B]

I don't have any problem with fucking after eating asshole. I'm, I, I switch all over the place. It does not matter to me. It's not even. I don't even need to brush my teeth.

[C]

I'm not the only one eating asshole. Why do you have me brush my teeth before you eat my asshole? Can I ask you that? Have you ever heard that before?

[A]

I just.

[B]

You must have heard that before.

[A]

I just. I did. Carol. Asshole. Can you. Can everyone please. I just.

[C]

That's what he calls me.

[A]

Is that true?

[B]

Not true.

[A]

Can I see your id? Can I see your id?

[B]

Yes, you can see my id. It's Carol with a K. You can

[C]

notice that he's not an organ donor. And I am. So that's sort of good person, bad person.

[B]

I misheard the guy and I thought he said Oregon donor. And I said no. Fuck those people.

[A]

Well, you know, they can't harvest organs from a dead body. So keep that in mind before you tick that box.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I mean what I mean. They can't harvest organs from a dead body.

[C]

So would you want to go on a little trip?

[B]

See, look at this. She's initiating again with me. Oh, you're talking to him.

[C]

Not you. Yuck. Not you.

[B]

Yuck. Yuck city to you. God, makes me want to brush my teeth and eat your ass.

[C]

Oh yeah, you grow.

[B]

Yuck.

[A]

We have a flight for two, the 238 to Yuck City, Australia.

[B]

We have a reservation.

[C]

We have a reservation. We're not trying to buy a ticket. We're trying to get our tickets printed through you.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

With you.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

With. Okay, yes, we actually have machines to do that, but that's fine. Okay, let me see those.

[C]

I actually have all. I'm kind of over talking to a machine. I've kind of hit my limit with talking to someone who feels like a machine.

[A]

Oh, then you're not gonna like our new cafe.

[C]

Oh no.

[B]

You have a nude cafe here.

[C]

Huh, that's interesting.

[B]

You have a nude cafe here.

[C]

What's the password for the nude cafe?

[A]

And it's capital N. Don't write it down.

[C]

I'm writing it down.

[A]

C, A, F, E. We're both holding

[B]

a two sided pin and we're writing it down. I'm doing it astronaut style. You're doing it regular style.

[C]

You are such an asshole. You are not an astronaut. They kicked you out of the program and you've taken it out on me. Now I'm trying to Flirt with the ticket counter guy.

[B]

They kicked me out of the program.

[A]

I hear the guy from the news.

[C]

Yes, he is.

[A]

Oh my gosh. That was. I'm so sorry for laughing. That was one of the funniest stories I've ever seen. The reason you got kicked out of Space Space Camp.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

They literally kicked him out. They kicked him out. That is how upset they were.

[B]

First of all, thank you for saying camp because, yes, my performance was a little over the top. I don't know that I would describe it as camp, but bless you for doing so.

[C]

999, a thousand. Ready or not, here I come. Oh hey everybody. I'm just playing a quick game of hide and seek with Adel and jpc so you keep an eye out for them while I talk to you about quints. This past weekend I was out and about with my new Italian suede slouchy midnight blue bag. And I kid you not, several of the most beautiful cool looking women asked me where I got it and I got to go. Quints. It's super affordable. I want my everyday items to be classic and timeless and comfortable and easy and affordable. And that's why I shop at Quint's. Quince has all the wardrobe staples for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34. Lightweight, breathable and comfortable. But you're still going to look put together and clean. 100% prima cotton tees with a softness that has to be felt. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'll find at similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're getting premium materials without the markup. I love everything I have from Quince. I recently got sandals from them. I'm obsessed with their home stuff. If you're looking for basics like rugs or curtains. Curtains truly just the most timeless, classic, well made items are over there at Quint's. So check it out. Still not seeing Adler gpc. Starting to worry that they went to the movies or something. No, they're around. We'll find them. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quint.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Quince. Q U I n c e.com riddle R-I-D l e for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year. If it's a full year, you can decide if you like it, you're gonna like it. Quince.com Riddle I found you. Oh, no. Sorry. False alarm. Those are just two scarecrows eating dessert waffles. Onward and upward. Hello, everybody. It's me, Erin Keefe, here to talk about my dog, Lou. I bet you've heard me talk about Lou hundreds, if not thousands of times on the show because I am obsessed with her. Fun fact about Lou. This past weekend in Palm Springs, she ran face first into a cactus and I did not handle it well. And if anyone gets being dog obsessed, it's Ollie. I love Ollie's dog food. They're relentless about delivering the best food and experience to your dog. And they give you a way to check in on their health over and over and over again. Ollie's fresh recipes are developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. They're obsessed with making the best meals in the highest quality ingredients. From the moment you start your subscription, everything is tailored to your dog. The meals are perfectly portioned, and you get a puptainer cute and a scoop for easy storing and serving. With Ollie, you don't just get food through their app. You can actually check on your dog's health with real vets just by uploading a picture. Their team can check in on your dog's weight, digestion, teeth and coat because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is as healthy as can be. Lou's getting old and I just want her to be healthy and have the best life she can. Since switching to Ollie, Lou gets even more excited to eat. She clearly loves the food. And also, I just noticed she's got a little bit more energy. She's acting like a puppy again. And she running into cactuses. Cacti. And she's running into cacti full speed in the middle of the desert. Well, get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com Riddle tell them all about your dog and use code RIDDLE to get 70% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's Ollie. O l l I e.com riddle and enter code RIDDLE R I D get 70% off your first box. Isn't that right, Lou? I thought she would bark on cue. That would have been so awesome if she had barked. You didn't though. You didn't though, Lou.

[A]

Did you guys see where Katy Perry went to space?

[C]

She's actually my cousin, so I really don't want anyone talking about.

[A]

No, she did it. That Was good.

[B]

She was going to say former cousin, so I really don't want to.

[C]

Of course, it was never on paper, so come on.

[B]

What?

[C]

Shut up.

[B]

Oh, you know what? Can you. Can you do annulments? Can you do annulments?

[A]

Yeah, I'm not supposed to.

[B]

For trips. Trip annulments. We want a trip.

[A]

You mean a cancellation.

[B]

Oh, my God. Why did. Why is. Are people obsessed with me? Knowing the lingo at your job.

[C]

Yeah, we don't work here.

[B]

And I never will, okay? I was in space, okay?

[C]

No, you were in space camp and then you got kicked out.

[B]

It was close to space. This isn't. This isn't even close to space. This is ground, basically for what space is.

[C]

He told me that if he had the opportunity to an alien, that he would have to. For science.

[A]

Same brother.

[C]

What? All men are dogs. Oh, here we go again. Great.

[A]

All right.

[C]

And can I hack a. Folks in line. Toothpaste.

[A]

Hey, folks in line. Everyone please raise your hand if you would fuck an alien.

[C]

Everyone's sort of looking around.

[B]

It's all. It's all the men and none of the women.

[C]

Okay, a bunch of couples have started fighting. Great. Now this whole flight is gonna be awkward for everybody. Good job, guys.

[B]

I'll just go. Just one ticket. One ticket to Fox City, Australia, please.

[C]

I'll just go. I think he cancel his ticket. I'll go. He'll stay here.

[A]

So now you know. Cancel. Now you know the term cancel.

[B]

Oh, well, trust me, brother. I know the term cancel, okay?

[C]

I've been through.

[B]

I've been through the ringer, sir, you

[C]

don't have to take your bad day out on us, okay?

[B]

You don't.

[C]

You don't. Just relax, okay?

[B]

So unprofessional.

[C]

I understand that your job is stressful, but we're also having a hard time. So can you just cancel his flight?

[A]

We cannot here at United, we cannot cancel flights. The only way to quote, unquote, get out of it, a term I'm not supposed to use is for you to give this ticket to someone with the exact same name. And they'd have to be here in the next hour, 15.

[B]

Because both our names are Carol.

[C]

Great. I'll take his.

[A]

I'm Carol.

[C]

Great. Do you want to go to Fuck City, Australia with my stupid fiance?

[A]

Fox City, Australia, with this lady?

[C]

Are you joking? Are you joking? We're going to go visit my sick parents.

[B]

If it changes your mind. If your husband goes to Fox City, Australia, you get to spend the weekend with me.

[C]

Who are you?

[B]

Have you ever heard of A guy who was too campy for space Camp.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The meme based on a guy, though, it's not just a meme.

[A]

Pulls up phone, hits play on video.

[C]

Like 30 people gather around the phone to watch.

[A]

Oh, it's playing. It's playing. All right, everyone. Is everyone ready for space Camp?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Conspiculations. I'm here to go to space Camp.

[A]

Lift up by the shirt.

[C]

Ooh, that looked like it hurt.

[B]

They were. There was editing in that video. That's mostly AI.

[C]

No, it's not.

[B]

A cake couldn't do that to a human man. Carol.

[C]

It did because it did it to you. A cake. Rockette. That's what.

[B]

Who said Rockette? Who said Rockette?

[C]

Rocket. He didn't say rocket. He said Rockette.

[B]

Honey, don't raise your hand. Don't admit to saying rock.

[C]

This is a mess. I'm leaving. I'm getting on this plane and I'm going to go.

[B]

Is that allowed? Is that legal? Is it legal for her to do that?

[C]

I'm technically the pilot, so you to

[A]

get on a plane with a ticket. Oh, you're a pilot, ma'?

[B]

Am? Yeah, I'm a co pilot.

[A]

Oh. Oh, wait, you're. You're the pilots for this flight? Why are you. You don't need tickets. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Go through.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. Thank you.

[B]

Can we leave tips? Go through KCM 1002-003004-00500, 600, 700, 800.

[C]

I have 700 tips to get make you better at your job. Number one, Stop being such a jerk to people when they just have simple questions.

[B]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[C]

Hey, Riddle.

[B]

Riddle's Clue crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddle Riddle.

[C]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[A]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum.

[C]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[A]

Are we gonna cry? Yes. Little bit.

[B]

Are we gonna laugh a lot. A lot. A whole lot.

[A]

That's what I'm hoping. Man. Listen to.

[B]

That was us on your favorite podcast

[A]

app or watch on YouTube or Spotify

[B]

new episodes every Tuesday.