Patreon Preview #380: Chatterbox 34

Summary

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Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #380: Chatterbox 34 (June 19, 2026)

Main Theme

This Chatterbox episode features hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC) veering away from riddles to field fun, irreverent audience questions. In signature Hey Riddle Riddle style, the trio riff on whimsical topics—including which planet would taste best and what animal would make the best conversationalist—infusing their banter with playfulness, wordplay, and signature Chicago improv energy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Tastiest" Planet in the Solar System

(Begins ~02:47)

• Prompt from listener Heavy metal Hitman: “Which planet probably tastes the best?”
• The hosts quickly dive into the double entendre and low-hanging jokes about Uranus.
  • Aaron: “You can't say Uranus now. That's the low hanging...hanging fruit.” (03:07)
  • Erin: “But it's probably Uranus.” (03:11)
• They debate by name, color, and pop-culture references:
  • Adol: “Mars. I wonder why it's gotta be Mars.” (03:22)
  • Erin: “Because of the chocolate.” (03:26)
  • Aaron: “Neptune does look pretty good—like it would taste like one of those movie slushies.” (03:57)
  • Aaron: “Mars looks like it would be kind of spicy.” (05:03)
  • Erin: “Pluto’s not a planet anymore, but it sounds like a morsel. I’d just pop in my mouth… It's the grape of planets.” (05:07)
• Earth gets some praise for “those fluffy white clouds, cotton candy.” (Adol, 04:17)
• Erin’s final pick: Mars for its “chocolate perspective,” but concedes Saturn and its ring look “pretty good…like a little zest.” (05:37)
• Aaron: “When did I eat Saturn?” joking about Saturn's ring being stuck in his teeth (05:56)

2. Which Animal Would Make the Best Conversation Partner?

(10:23)

• The second listener question from Heavy metal Hitman: “Which animal would make the best conversation partner, presuming you can fluently communicate?”
• Adol & Erin: Coyote
  • “They can’t wait…they are bursting at the seams to talk and talk.” (Adol, 10:41)
  • Erin: “Pigeons would be so talkative…they would fucking talk your ear off.” (10:55)
  • Adol: “They talk at you, though.” (11:01)
• Aaron: Considers animals with longevity or intelligence.
  • “Elephants have a great memory, so I assume they’re great storytellers.” (11:06)
  • “Dolphins…I’m getting more and more afraid of dolphins the older I get…but they're so smart.” (11:10)
  • “Octopi are so smart…but I–I don’t know if I need to talk…I'd love to talk to a bird.” (11:14)
• Birds as conversationalists:
  • Erin: Wants to interact with a bird-of-paradise, “that dances to find a mate.” (11:30)
  • Adol: Suggests a raven—“Ah, yes, wary traveler”—for a mysterious, riddling energy. (11:44)
• Erin: “It’d be dope to talk to a tortoise that's like 140 years old…like talking to an old person.” (12:01)
• Aaron: “Humpback whale…the stories they could tell.” (12:25)
• Erin: Prefers land animals: “I don’t want that weird imbalance where…I’m in your house, you’re not in my house. We’re existing in different biomes, you know?” (12:37)

3. The Hosts Assign Each Other Animal Conversation Partners

(12:54)

• Aaron to Adol: Owl—“You guys are keeping similar hours…great eyesight…You’re gonna get…the scoop of what’s going on in the trees…They seem kind of direct.” (12:58)
• Aaron to Erin: “I’d love to watch you give a caterpillar the news about what’s gonna happen to them,” referencing metamorphosis (13:38)
  • Erin: Reflects, “Snakes are fine…they just sit around for most of their lives.” (13:49)
• Adol to Aaron: Raccoon—“I can picture…you grabbing the hand of a raccoon and being like, girl, we need to talk.” (14:27)
  • Aaron: “Oh, my hands are so sensitive…We’re eating trash, huh? We’re staying up too late. Talk to me, girl.” (14:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Erin (on Uranus): “We don’t know that for sure. The low hanging fruit could be anything. But it’s probably Uranus.” (03:11)
• Aaron (on Neptune): “It looks like it would taste like one of those movie slushies. Which is of interest to me.” (03:57)
• Adol (on Mars): “I wonder why it's gotta be Mars.” (03:22)
• Aaron (dog obsessions): “91% of dog parents say their pup is an important member of the family. And 40% would even save their dog over a human stranger. Safe to say people are obsessed, and I'm one of them.” (08:32)
• Erin (on tortoises): “It’d be dope to talk to a tortoise that’s like 140 years old…just like, you know, talking to some old person, be like. What was it like…” (12:01)
• Aaron (to Adol): “You and snakes obviously would have a lot in common. But I'd love to watch you give a caterpillar the news…” (13:38)
• Adol (to Aaron): “I can picture…you grabbing the hand of a raccoon and being like ‘Girl, we need to talk.’” (14:27)
• Aaron (raccoon banter): “We're eating trash, huh? We're staying up too late. Talk to me, girl.” (14:40)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |:-------------:|-----------------------------------------------------| | 02:47 | Listener question: Which planet probably tastes best? | | 03:07–05:56 | Uranus jokes, taste debate, planet flavor musings | | 05:07 | Pluto as a "grape"-like morsel, Saturn zest jokes | | 06:13 | Moon as food (Wallace & Gromit reference) | | 10:23 | Listener Q2: Which animal would be the best conversationalist? | | 10:41–11:06 | Coyote, pigeon, elephant, dolphin, and octopus debates | | 11:28–12:54 | Bird-of-paradise, raven, tortoise, and whale musings | | 12:54–14:50 | Hosts assign animals to each other |

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Overall Tone

Light, zippy, and brimming with wordplay. Even the silliest topics are given the full Hey Riddle Riddle treatment—half-joking, half-too-real philosophical musings, with each host riffing, tossing balls back and forth, and diving deeper into the hypothetical, eschewing riddles but delighting in lateral thinking.

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Summary

This Chatterbox delivers a perfect dose of Hey Riddle Riddle’s comedic chemistry: playful audience questions provoke philosophical humor, geeky references (including the food worthiness of Pluto and the canny conversation skills of raccoons), and a little improv absurdity. If you love the crew riffing on imaginative hypotheticals with plenty of callbacks and camaraderie, this episode is a delight—even if you never learn a single riddle answer.

Transcript

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[Adol]

Station. Aaron and JPC I've been tinkering in my basement as I'm want to do, and I have come up with a device.

[Aaron]

Some people call it a Geppetto file, as we've called it recently.

[Adol]

Oh, so you've peeked under the curtain?

[Aaron]

Oh, no, no. Good. As you were.

[Erin]

So you've read my book.

[Adol]

It's a gepet bot. A robotic Geppetto.

[Erin]

A robotic Geppetto.

[Aaron]

Okay, I'm gonna fall in love with it. What have you been tinkering with in your basement? Anal.

[Erin]

Oh, Aaron, you misheard him. He's been tinkering in his basement. That's a code for peeing. He's been peeing in his basement.

[Aaron]

Oh, okay, good. Classic homeowner stuff, I assume. I don't know. I don't own a home.

[Adol]

That's what basements are for.

[Erin]

Oh, for sure. I pee in my basement all the time now. I have a bathroom down there.

[Aaron]

But you would even if you didn't. And that's my grander point.

[Erin]

But I would even if I didn't. That's my grander point. Well, all the tinkering aside, it's chatterbox time. We got to answer. We have to answer the questions from the people. And we love the people. We're big, big fans of the people here on the show.

[Aaron]

I want to be where the people are. I want to see. I want to see them dancing, walking around on those.

[Adol]

What do they call them?

[Erin]

Grapes.

[Aaron]

Grapes. People. Sticks.

[Adol]

Getaway Sticks.

[Erin]

Peoplesticks is the non gendered version of getaway sticks. No, getaway sticks are already non gendered. Huh. What can I do here? What to be done?

[Aaron]

Everything that has already been done.

[Erin]

I truly want to just get right the fuck into it. Because we have a question here from Heavy metal Hitman. We have lots of questions. Heavy metal Hitman in the Discord asks which planet in our solar system probably tastes the best now. They also had an addendum that says I was being silly and completely missed the low hanging fruit joke here. That's not what I meant at all. I swear.

[Aaron]

You can't say Uranus now. That's the low hanging hanging fruit.

[Erin]

We don't know that for sure. The low hanging fruit could be anything. But it's probably Uranus.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to eat Neptune.

[Adol]

I don't know Mars. I wonder why it's gotta be Mars.

[Erin]

Because of the chocolate.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Erin]

Okay. Yeah.

[Aaron]

I want real images of all these planets textures. Where are they? I know that NASA has released these.

[Adol]

Isn't Neptune like. Doesn't Neptune like not have a surface or something?

[Aaron]

Doesn't Neptune just like gas you can't stand?

[Adol]

You wouldn't be able to stand on Neptune.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Adol]

You cannot stand for many reasons I guess.

[Erin]

But you truly can't stand Neptune. Problematic. Neptune.

[Aaron]

Neptune does look pretty good. It looks sort of like it would taste like one of those movie slushies. Which is of interest to me.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Jupiter looks very like a rock. It doesn't look food like to me. Earth looks pretty good.

[Adol]

Yeah. Yeah. I gotta say, those fluffy white clouds, Cotton candles.

[Erin]

I was trying to go by just by name alone. Like what name has the most aesthetically pleasing sounding? Like ooh. Like it can't be Venus. I don't think I want to eat a Venus. The vegan. I think I want to eat a Venus. What does that say about me? Can't wait to. Can't wait to eat a Venus.

[Aaron]

Venus looks really good.

[Erin]

Damn.

[Aaron]

Oh, Uranus. Okay. And I hate to say it. I'm looking at Uranus.

[Adol]

Know that you will be clipped.

[Erin]

I hate to say.

[Aaron]

I know. I hate to say this. I'm looking at Uranus. It looks like it would be sour and quite refreshing.

[Erin]

Watering.

[Aaron]

Mars looks like it would be kind of spicy.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Erin]

I know Pluto's not a planet anymore, but it does kind of sound like a morsel. I would just pop in my mouth. Like just a Pluto. I'm so stuffed. But I could always find room for a little Pluto.

[Adol]

Yeah. Pluto. That feels Like a little otter pop or something.

[Erin]

It's the grape of planets.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

It's the getaway sticks of planets.

[Erin]

It's the getaway sticks of planets for sure.

[Aaron]

Neptune and then Uranus and then Earth. Those are my top three.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Erin]

I think I have to go Mars. I think Adol was right on the fucking money with Mars. From a chocolate perspective, I bet Saturn's pretty.

[Adol]

Saturn looks good, right?

[Erin]

Yeah, Saturn probably looks pretty good. Saturn has the ring, right?

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Erin]

That's like a little zest that gets

[Aaron]

stuck in your teeth, though.

[Erin]

Oh, it's like corn.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I feel like that would get in my gum. It would like Saturn. When did I eat Saturn?

[Erin]

Oh, yeah. I hate a bunch of Saturn in my pizza.

[Aaron]

Not a planet, but cheese.

[Adol]

The moon for sure.

[Aaron]

In Wallace and Gromit, they make the moon look really good.

[Erin]

They make the moon look really good.

[Adol]

Aaron, these are things you should be telling your therapist, have you.

[Aaron]

My therapist is Gromit from Wallace. This sweater's so hot. Why am I wearing a sweater during the summer?

[Adol]

Ugh. Aaron pulls down sunglasses. Aaron, baby, get with the times. All right.

[Aaron]

Cool vibe.

[Adol]

It's summer.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Ish.

[Adol]

Perhaps. And you have to go to Quint's to get some lightweight, breathable Quints. Wearables.

[Aaron]

Oh, that sounds so nice. I love Quint's.

[Erin]

Yeah. Everything at Quint's is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup.

[Aaron]

Aaron, Quint's goes way beyond clothing. They have custom upholstered sofas, ceramic cookware, premium bedding. It's the kind of brand you end up recommending to everyone for everything. I'm moving this summer and I have so many things favorited from Quint's. I want curtains from there. I want some of their kitchen stuff. Their rug are unbelievable and priced so fairly. And I'm so excited that Quints exists. Perfect timing, Quince. Thank you.

[Adol]

Gemma got a 100% European linen fit and flare midi dress from Quints that she is obsessed with. Looks great on her. And they also have stuff for babies. So we've put little crumpet in some beautiful, adorable, little breathable summertime cotton onesies.

[Aaron]

Oh, cute.

[Erin]

You gotta elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quinte.com riddle for free shipping on your order. And 360 doll 65 day returns now available in Canada too. That's quince.com Q-U-I-N c e.com riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns.

[Adol]

Quince.com riddle Erin I'm grilling up some pants.

[Aaron]

Yum. Wait, what?

[Adol]

Summer baby.

[Aaron]

And this is Lou wearing a funny top hat. And here's a picture of Lou, and she's just laying in the sun. She's so cute. And here's Lou. Look how gray her snoot is getting. She's just so precious. I'm so obsessed with my dog.

[Erin]

Aaron. Aaron, you said you had something really important to talk to us about, and this is that.

[Aaron]

Oh, yes. Yes. 91% of dog parents say their pup is an important member of the family. And 40% would even save their dog over a human stranger. Safe to say people are obsessed, and I'm one of them. And that's why I give my dog Ollie. Ollie's fresh recipes are developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. They're obsessed with making the best meals with the highest quality ingredients. Yeah.

[Erin]

Plus, from the moment you start your subscription to Ollie, everything is tailored to your pup. The meals are perfectly portioned, and you get a puptainer and scoop for easy storing and serving. My dog Spaghetti absolutely loves Ollie food. Around four o' clock every day, she starts snapping at me because it's like. I'm like, yeah, it's kind of almost dinner time. But she is so excited for dinner time since we switched to Ollie.

[Adol]

Oh, look, Lou's getting near the microphone. What is it, Louis?

[Erin]

Ollie.

[Adol]

Ollie, now.

[Aaron]

That's not her voice. I'm obsessed with her. I can tell you what her voice is. This is her voice. With Ollie, you don't just get food through their app. You can actually check on your dog's health with real vets just by uploading a picture. Their team can check up on your dog's weight, digestion, teeth and coat because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is as healthy as can be. And that's me, Lou, and this is my voice.

[Adol]

Get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com riddle Tell them all about your dog and use code riddle to get 70% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's O L L I-e.com Riddle and enter code Riddle to get 70% off your first box. Ollie, feed the obsession.

[Erin]

Is that right, Spaghetti? Yeah, that's right. Only dog food is good dog food.

[Aaron]

That's her voice.

[Erin]

That's her voice.

[Adol]

That's John Travolta in a dog suit.

[Erin]

No, it's.

[Aaron]

That's John Travolta.

[Erin]

Look at the beret, guys. I wish it weren't true, but it's her voice. Not. Not a follow up to that, but heavy metal. Hitman also asks which animal would make the best conversation partner. Presuming you can fluently communicate, you know, with, with that animal.

[Adol]

Coyote.

[Erin]

Coyote. Coyote would be perfect.

[Adol]

They can't wait. I mean, they are bursting at the seams to talk and talk. Get like, get down to it. Like, hot toss.

[Erin]

I feel like pigeons would be so talkative. I don't want to talk to a pigeon, but I feel like they would, like they would fucking talk your ear off.

[Adol]

They talk at you though.

[Erin]

Oh my God.

[Adol]

You know they're talking at you.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Elephants have a great memory, so I assume they're great storytellers.

[Erin]

Sure.

[Aaron]

Dolphins. I, I have. We've talked about this recently. I'm getting more and more afraid of dolphins the older I get. But they're so smart. They're an octopi are so smart. But I, I don't know if I need to talk. I'd love to talk to a bird.

[Erin]

Yeah. Which. But not pigeon.

[Aaron]

Not, not a pigeon. Like I want to talk to those. Like I want one of those birds that dance like the birds of prey dance. That dance to find their mate. I want to get hit on by one of those birds at a bar.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Erin]

Okay.

[Adol]

That can be a raven. I do think like a crow or a raven would be like, ah, yes.

[Erin]

Wary traveler. Yes.

[Adol]

Ah, like it would be interesting.

[Aaron]

Which is your favorite kind of guy? Adol.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh yeah.

[Adol]

I want talking. Something that poses riddles.

[Erin]

By the same token, I think it'd be dope to talk to a tortoise that's like 140 years old or some shit. Just, just like it's like, you know, talking to some like, old person be like. What was it like when you were just getting another person?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Okay, grandpa. Okay, go outside and lay in the sun and eat your lettuce.

[Erin]

But they specifically said would make the best conversation partner. So it's like about the, the forest.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Humpback whale.

[Erin]

Yes. The stories they could tell.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Adol]

It sounds like they're crying. I don't.

[Aaron]

It sounds like they're sarcastically marking you.

[Erin]

To me, whatever animal I pick has to be a land animal because I don't want to have a conversation with someone like while I'm on a boat, you know, I don't want there to be like that, like, weird Imbalance where it's like, I'm in your house, you're not in my house. It's like we're existing in different biomes, you know?

[Aaron]

Can I pick one for each of you guys?

[Erin]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Adol]

Please.

[Aaron]

Adel, I feel like you get along really well with an owl. You guys are keeping similar hours. They have a really like, they've got great eyesight. You get like the kind of the scoop of what's going on in the trees. They're like, not so, like sickly sweet. You're gonna get like. They seem kind of direct. And I feel like you would really respect an owl. And I think you wouldn't say the awkward thing of like, why your head? Why your neck like that.

[Adol]

Can I dissect your poop?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I think you wouldn't say anything like that.

[Erin]

Who are you?

[Adol]

You got bone poop? Who?

[Aaron]

Hey, buddy, you got bone poop for you. I. Well, a couple things. You and snakes obviously would have a lot in common.

[Erin]

Sure.

[Aaron]

But I would pick. I would love to watch you give a caterpillar the news about what's gonna happen to them. I would love for you to get to break it to a caterpillar.

[Erin]

Can I tell you from going to the zoo a lot? Snakes. I think snakes are fine. Whatever creatures, they just sit around for. Most animals I guess just kind of sit around and wait for a long portion of their lives. I feel like, well, what would you

[Aaron]

do if you couldn't talk and you could watch tv?

[Erin]

Yeah, exactly, right? You'd be on your digest mice. But I don't know that I would be. I don't know if I would, you know, like a snake. If they're just gonna like hang out and like sit in the sun. I'm like, come on, man, do something.

[Adol]

Aaron, can I give you one?

[Aaron]

Yeah, please.

[Adol]

I can picture in my mind's eye you grabbing the hand of a raccoon and being like, girl, we need to talk.

[Aaron]

And she goes, oh, my hands are so sensitive. And I go, you and me both, girl, let's chat. We're eating trash, huh? We're staying up too late. Talk to me, girl.

[Adol]

You put a fish in your mouth, pull out the bones.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I go. Let's hit our hands together and go. We have eye makeup running down our face all the time. Black under eyes. Let's go, let's chat.

[Erin]

One, two, three, four. Hey, Riddle. Riddle's Clue crew, listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddleriddle

[Johnny Knoxville]

hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Adol]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to.

[Adol]

Coming to. That's what it is.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Adol]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show now on Head Gum.

[Adol]

Woo hoo. Woo.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Woo.

[Adol]

I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to go.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Apparently there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff.

[Erin]

I noticed that every.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Every so often with guests like Spike Jones.

[Adol]

I think let's commit to Jackass the Podcast.

[Erin]

What was it going to be called?

[Johnny Knoxville]

The Jackass Podcast.

[Erin]

Jackass Podcast.

[Adol]

Without you, the IQ drops significantly.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Steve O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup right this minute. Chris Ponies.

[Adol]

That shot of your butt just cruising up, I'm like, yeah, I got that on tv.

[Johnny Knoxville]

God bless Dave England. Yeah.

[Erin]

When you come in and you're being

[Adol]

really nice, I'm like, damn it. Something bad's gonna happen to me.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Wee Man.

[Adol]

Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me, like.

[Johnny Knoxville]

And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

[Adol]

I had to share a room with

[Erin]

this guy and I left a nice

[Johnny Knoxville]

surprise in the toilet for him every time. Apparently he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.

[Adol]

Our new episodes drop on June 18th.

[Erin]

Woo.

[Adol]

Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok @JackassThePodcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.

[Aaron]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Lowe's Ad Narrator]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us. Now Head gum.

[Aaron]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[Johnny Knoxville]

This is us.

[Lowe's Ad Narrator]

That's right.

[Aaron]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Lowe's Ad Narrator]

Are we gonna cry?

[Erin]

Yes.

[Lowe's Ad Narrator]

Little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Erin]

A whole lot.

[Lowe's Ad Narrator]

That's what I'm hoping. Man. Listen to that Was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.