Loading summary
Transcript239 lines
- [00:02]
John Gabrus
This is a headgun podcast. Prize Picks has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. All you gotta do is pick more or less over or under whatever you wanna call it on at least two players for a shot to win up to a hundred x your cash. Okay? It's the best way to get action on Sports. In over 30 states including California, Florida, Georgia and Texas, Prize Picks is the only real money daily fantasy platform with injury insurance policy. Okay, it's the best place to get real money sports action. If you sign up today $50 instantly when you play $5. You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed. Prize Picks also offers weekly promotions that could lead to big payouts like Taco Tuesday, which each Tuesday Prize Picks discounts player projections up to 25% even. I'm just getting into prize picks and I'm having a blast. You know, I, I, I'm looking at the football board and choosing like oh, maybe Travis Kelsey will get more than 59.5 receiving yards. Maybe I'll root against Sequan Barkley but cause as an ex Giants fan as fan and he's the next giant. But the dude is going to definitely get more than 79.5 yards rushing. He's good. Price Picks is the best way to win real money this football season. Which players are going off? Which ones aren't? Make your picks in less than 60 seconds and turn your sports opinions into real money long. Oh, okay. So get on that. Download the app today and use the code H and M H a n D m to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Download the app today and use code hand M H A n D M as in H and M high and mighty to get $50 instantly after you play your first pick. Prize picks run your game. It's highly encouraged. You get on board. Jump on. Please get on this call to action hand M H and m to get $50 off your first $5 lineup. Have fun. See you there. Wow listeners, it is November, which means only one thing. The 10th annual High and Mighty Thanksgiving Eve Power hour. Coming live and live Streamed on Wednesday, November 27th at 7:30pm you can watch it for up to a week and a half afterwards on livestream. You can buy tickets to go see it live at Dynasty Typewriter. You could just wait a day and listen to it for free, but I'd prefer if you didn't because your buddy all Gabriel needs that money to get him through the holidays. I need to get, I need to Get Santa rescued. He's been kidnapped. To me, the Rock and Chris Zepp Evans are going down there in a CGI fucking bonanza. No, for real. The Power Hour. Get tickets@powerhour.gabrius.com. i'm positive Emma threw this in the show notes so that you could be hyped about it. Power hour, 10th annual, the last who knows. See you there. What's up, shitheads? Welcome back to another episode of High and Mighty. It's me, ya boy. The number one fuckboy, Johnny G. From the south shore of Nassau county, long Island, standing 6 foot 2, 300 and something pounds. Creatine seems to be working. It's John Gabris. All you gotta do is trust me. Jackson, Maine. What are you doing here? Don't even bother asking. You know I'm just always here, brother. Yeah, now you sound like macho man because you're not good at impressions. I get that. Also joining me in the Hyenmite studio spiritually is the spirit of my deceased silent co host dog, Arthur Gabris. Arthur cannot give you a shout out, but Arthur can say hello to your deceased pets. Pass him a message. He'll pass it along. Also joining me in a high mighty studios. I've been listening to this guy in some form or another for years. Goldman.
- [04:00]
Alex Goldman
Hello, brother.
- [04:01]
John Gabrus
Hey, brother. Welcome to the laboratory, the high and mighty studios.
- [04:06]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, I don't know that anybody's could even know who's talking right now.
- [04:10]
John Gabrus
Oh, yeah, it's just one guy monologuing.
- [04:15]
Alex Goldman
How you doing?
- [04:16]
John Gabrus
I'm. I'm wonderful, Goldman. How are you?
- [04:20]
Alex Goldman
Can't complain. It's starting to be sweater weather in, in New England, so I'm New England, the northeast. I'm not in New England. I'm in New Jersey.
- [04:28]
John Gabrus
Oh, the newest of all England's. Ah, New Jersey. The. The. The third in the tri state area. I guess Connecticut's the third. Jersey is the second.
- [04:40]
Alex Goldman
Connecticut. It's like Connecticut's a distant third.
- [04:42]
John Gabrus
Connecticut's happy to be invited to this tri state situation.
- [04:46]
Alex Goldman
Okay, I don't understand Connecticut because when I was growing up in the Midwest, I was told that it was like super fancy. And then I went and went to it and I was like, this place fucking sucks.
- [04:56]
John Gabrus
Connecticut is wild. Connecticut is diverse in the way that Long island is, where it's not blended at all. But you can drive from like town to town and it'd be wildly different socioeconomic classes, wildly different makeups, wildly different. Like, you can go from like super bougie to like to New Haven or, you know, Trenton. Like, all these places you can go to where you're like, I think Jersey is a lot like that too. Where I had a. My college girlfriend was from New Jersey and she, like, lived on a farm. And I'm like, where is that? And she's like, yeah, practically Pennsylvania. Yeah, she, like, if you're.
- [05:31]
Alex Goldman
If you are a person who is. Who is generally in New Jersey because you are leaving New York City, all you know is factories. And then the further west you get, you're like, oh, right, mountains out here.
- [05:42]
John Gabrus
Well, from Jersey to la, we are connecting via the power of long distance podcasting. But, Alex, you wanted to talk jobs, which I am very down to do. As someone who's also had a plethora of jobs predating the entertainment industry, but even within the entertainment industry or trying to survive the entertainment industry, I've also taken an inordinate amount of awful and some okay jobs over the course of the years.
- [06:10]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, I've had. I've had plenty of terrible. Most. I would say 95% of my jobs have had nothing to do with. With radio, which is where I actually cut my teeth and what I do for a living, I guess. Podcasting. I can't tell the difference between podcasting and radio. Same thing. You talk to the microphone. It's radio.
- [06:30]
John Gabrus
As far as I'm concerned, podcasting is, as my comedy bang bang character Gina Lombardo calls it, DVR'd radio. It's just.
- [06:39]
Alex Goldman
That's right.
- [06:41]
John Gabrus
I grew up a crazy radio head. Not the band, a fan of the medium of radio, listening to shock jocks and all that shit. Growing up on Long island, went to college in the early aughts, radio was in the major. That's how old I am. Radio, tv, film. Then by the time I graduated, radio was nothing. And now, arguably, I make most of my money doing the new radio, which is, luckily, I could do from my house.
- [07:08]
Alex Goldman
I grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and the University of Michigan had like an alternative radio station. And I was like, that's the life for me. That's what I want to do for a living. And then when I turned about 15, someone was like, oh, yeah, that's all volunteer. That's just students. No one makes any money doing that.
- [07:24]
John Gabrus
And I was like, oh, God, that's so funny. Radio DJ is like, I feel like a certain type of guy grew up wanting one of two jobs. Radio DJ or video store clerk. I wanted video store clerk. I wanted to.
- [07:37]
Alex Goldman
I was a video store clerk.
- [07:39]
John Gabrus
Oh, I think this kicks off the Jobs Conversation. Goldman. What was the name of the store?
- [07:47]
Alex Goldman
It had the very, it had the very cool name, Liberty Street Video. I bet you you'll never guess where it was. But it was, it was a really, it was a great video store because it was so I lived in a town that was full of the franchise was Hollywood video was what we had. But yeah, this was a little indie place and it was the place where all the professors would go, all the film professors would go to get the movies they needed for their classes. So it was like all art house movies, cult movies, foreign movies. And it was the only video store in town that had a porn section.
- [08:21]
John Gabrus
Because it was a non chain video. Oh, that's awesome. And hey, you can't have Liberty in your name and then censor porn. Come on.
- [08:29]
Alex Goldman
That's very true.
- [08:31]
John Gabrus
Gimme Liberty, Gimme porno or Gimme death is what people are like shouting at the fucking clerks, the 17 year old kid.
- [08:38]
Alex Goldman
I mean the porno guys were generally actually truly weird. Like weird and made everyone very uncomfortable. I mean kids these days don't understand that you had to have the courage to plonk down the porno you wanted in front of someone and have them check it out.
- [08:55]
John Gabrus
Yeah, someone scan it and be like, okay. Thick Latinas, volume seven. All right, you have two days. Make sure you bust and get this back in time. Like have an enjoyable jerk sesh. Just remember this is due back Monday.
- [09:12]
Alex Goldman
So I worked there in 1999. I worked there from like February of 1999 to like June of 2000 or something like that. I cannot believe I remember those dates.
- [09:21]
John Gabrus
Holy shit.
- [09:22]
Alex Goldman
But it has since shut down as you might imagine, and has been replaced by a head shop slash lingerie shop called Bongs and Thongs.
- [09:30]
John Gabrus
No, Are you.
- [09:31]
Alex Goldman
Yeah.
- [09:32]
John Gabrus
Honestly, Bongs and Thongs sounds like a fraternity theme party or something.
- [09:36]
Alex Goldman
It absolutely.
- [09:39]
John Gabrus
That's fucking cool. What was like the best part or the worst part of that job or. Because I remember when I was in 99, I was like 17 and me. And before that me and all my friends were like, we all have to get jobs at like different places where we can hook each other up. Like that was the dream of like having a friend at a video store, friend at a coffee shop, a friend here, and then like being able to like get discounts or get stolen shit from everybody where.
- [10:06]
Alex Goldman
I mean that was absolutely how. How I was too. And, and it was, it was generally a great job. Like I worked with people I liked. We got to listen to music, we got to talk about Movies all day. We did get paid 5, 25 an hour. Like, it was even then. It was pretty rough.
- [10:23]
John Gabrus
Yeah, even I was gonna say for 99. That's not good. Like, for now, it's like, raise the minimum wage retroactively by 30 years, please.
- [10:32]
Alex Goldman
So. So, I mean, I was working like, other jobs while I was working that job. I also was a landscaper for a while there. For a while there I. While I was working at the, at the video store, I also worked at an Indian buffet. Oh, yeah, I can't complain. That was a pretty sweet job. It was a vegetarian Indian buffet. That was like all that was like they weighed it. They charged you, I think, five bucks a pound or something like that. So.
- [11:01]
John Gabrus
Oh, you just pile on a huge plate and get out of there. That's fucking awesome. That's so funny. I worked multiple jobs at the same time too. I, I, when I was a teen, like in my 16ish, I started lifeguarding, which was like an insanely. My mom, for all the fucking driving she's done in my life and all the shit she's tried to make me do. The one thing she was right about was I was a good swimmer and I was on the swim team. And she's like, you should be a lifeguard. I'm like, that seems corny. And she's like, they get paid, you know, $13 an hour and start at the age 16. I was like, all right. And that locked me for, from 16 to like 23 or 24 of having the best summer job I've ever had. I would argue. I've been on tv, I've been on Drunk History. I've gotten paid to travel the country and get fucked up. And still I think lifeguarding is the best job I've ever had.
- [11:57]
Alex Goldman
I can't, I can't imagine it that it wasn't amazing. I bet you got to hang out with friends and flirt with girls and like. I bet it was, dude.
- [12:06]
John Gabrus
It was like, it was, it ran perfectly coinciding with, like, with my development as a boy into like, getting my first job at 6, the summer I was 16. That's like in between 10th and 11th grade maybe. And I am, like, working with 20 something like, party animal people. And like, everyone's like a college kid or an older high school kid or a weird older person who's a teacher who has is off on the summers. So I'm instantly, like, around. I talk about this a lot with the lifeguarding job. It was like the ma. It was Enough responsibility that it made you feel mature and adult. Like people like you had to know cpr. You did.
- [12:46]
Alex Goldman
You had to essentially save lives.
- [12:48]
John Gabrus
Yes. And so like that gave it like some mat. And then all of a sudden with that came like, I'm now sitting in the break room at 16 with a 21 year old girl and I'm just like. And wearing bathing suits and I'm like, hi, Gina, my name is John. Everyone calls me Gavers. Like, and then like, so I like had to grow up fat and like, you know, then you have like authority. You're 16 and you could tell a 13 year old not to run or whatever. And it was just like that first summer also. They made us work 48 hour weeks six days a week. The eight, the sixth day was OT. So we did get like a. So I would make, I was just about to ask 52 hours pay a week at 16 and it's this, like, it's all I have time for in the summer is that and then drinking at night. And so I'm barely spending money. And I am 16. My overhead is like, I haven't even gotten DVD players, haven't even been invented yet. My overhead is like candy and skateboarding to McDonald's or whatever. So I, that summer I made so much money that I was like, lifeguarding is the fucking tits, man. Literally, pun intended. It was such a fuck. And then like one of my bosses later on, I would work at the beach at Jones beach on the south shore of Long Island. And one of my bosses, I was like, man, I love this fucking job. That was like a grown up union job. I was making like, I think in my third year, you make like $17 an hour and you have like an hour on, hour off. All these like union rules that are so awesome. But one of my bosses said to me, I'm like, man, this job rules. He's like, you get paid to go where all of these people die for a day off to get to, to come here, to pay, to come here. And you are here five days a week. It's such a good job. You go to the place where you work on your days off. You know, like there's not like the beach is like, all right, well, I got day off. I'm like, well now I can go to the beach and drink. And it's like I'm right next to where I work.
- [14:45]
Alex Goldman
Anyway, like, you could, you know, it's not too late. You could go back life back.
- [14:51]
John Gabrus
Alex, this is something I. This is. You've touched on something that I've been dealing with a lot lately as I watch Hollywood crumble around me, I'm like, I could probably still podcast and lifeguard, and now I live in Los Angeles, where it's a little harder of a job to get because I don't have any seniority or connections. But it's more than just three months a year, too, so, like, I could. I could foresee. And apparently it's a division of the fire department, so you get fire department, health insurance. Trust me, I've done a lot of research. I just don't think. I think I'm way too fat to do it anymore. I would have to, like, really try hard and train for a while, and I'm still not against that.
- [15:30]
Alex Goldman
Was this your first job that I was a.
- [15:34]
John Gabrus
Before that, the only other things I've ever done for were. Did for money were I was a babysitter and, like, a mother's helper. For mother's helper was one of the weirdest jobs I ever had. It was babysitting, but while the mom was home. And so it was that.
- [15:48]
Alex Goldman
That term is not a term I'm familiar with at all.
- [15:50]
John Gabrus
Yeah, no, I mean, either. I heard it. I mean, I'm sure now it's the name of, like, an amazing vibrator or something like that. But at the time, in hindsight now, like, with distance, I was. That job was really fun, too, because I just got paid $10 an hour cash to play video games with an autistic kid. Like he. Or Spectrum kid. Yeah, no, it wasn't. And he was. So. I was a little bit older and good at video games, so he would let me play exclusively because he just wanted to. He's like, here's the game I'm stuck on. He'd put it in and I'd be like, all right, strap in. And mom would come up, like, two hours in, like, does anyone want snacks? And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm just.
- [16:27]
Alex Goldman
That's a great deal.
- [16:28]
John Gabrus
Yeah, it was awesome. I would kill for that. It makes me want to, like, figure, like, figure out a way to do that as a grown up. Like, video game therapy for individuals who have social issues or something like that.
- [16:42]
Alex Goldman
I asked because you said that you, like, were. You had, like, so much money that you didn't know what to do with when you were doing that. My first job was a paper route. I got it when I was nine, so I was.
- [16:51]
John Gabrus
Whoa.
- [16:52]
Alex Goldman
Yeah.
- [16:52]
John Gabrus
That's one of those jobs that, like, is, like, old. Like, 1800s meat factory.
- [16:57]
Alex Goldman
It's so. But I mean it's an hour a day and it's just me doing a lap around my neighborhood. No one gets like, I would go do my thing and. And it was. I would get paid $100 a month. And when I. When I first started like, it was so pre Internet. So I'm 45 now. So I went out in night. I was nine in 1988. The. The. It was so old school that I actually had to once a month just like walk around in the dark, door to door and be like, do you have your $2.30?
- [17:28]
John Gabrus
Oh, you had to collect, right?
- [17:30]
Alex Goldman
Or I just have to leave a little envelope. I remember when people started being able to pay via credit card or like on a website or however they were doing it, as opposed to doing it. Collection. Cause I had the job for five years.
- [17:42]
John Gabrus
That's my cousin who's older than me, had a paper route from when he was like 12. And then he kept it as he got older and he got like more. And they did it from his car. And then he eventually would become like an electrician. This is the most like Long Island Ginzo shit ever. He's like, he would eventually become an electrician. Refused to give it up because the money was too good and too easy. So he'd work at like the paper thing from like 3 to 6 in the morning, then go to his electrician job till eventually. And this is where it gets into the weird, sketchy territory. He sold his paper route to someone else. Like what? It was sold? Yeah, because it was like. Like once you had it, it's like a thing that you can keep it or whatever. And it was like. That starts to make me feel like it's a little crooked if you're buying. Someone bought the rights to do his paper route from him. I'm like, I don't even understand that.
- [18:34]
Alex Goldman
I will say so. I had it until I was 14. And then by that point I was like. I was like. Like a shitty little punk rock kid. And like was also very neglectful of my paper route. And I got fired because one day my band had a show in the afternoon and I completely forgot to just go do my paper out. So they did not get delivered.
- [18:58]
John Gabrus
Oh, and then, man, art will win, man.
- [19:01]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, true.
- [19:04]
John Gabrus
Five years though, from not. And that's $100 a month when you're 10 in the.
- [19:08]
Alex Goldman
Well, that's why I was saying it is because you were like, I had so much money. Do you know how. What. How baller I was at fucking 10 years old making $100 a month. I was like a millionaire.
- [19:17]
John Gabrus
That's crazy. And in the early 90s, right? That puts that. And puts you at like, that's fucking crazy.
- [19:25]
Alex Goldman
I know.
- [19:26]
John Gabrus
And did that create. Was that it. Was there any weirdness with your parents of like, well, you got to give US$20 every month and we'll put that away for you?
- [19:34]
Alex Goldman
None. There. There wasn't. But there was definitely like a. It definitely became like a. I would not. 9. It also coincided with my parents getting divorced. My parents got divorced when I was nine and I got a paper out. So, you know.
- [19:48]
John Gabrus
Okay, okay.
- [19:49]
Alex Goldman
I grew up. I grew up real fast.
- [19:53]
John Gabrus
Yeah, it seems like a major inflection.
- [19:54]
Alex Goldman
Point in your life, but. But there was a lot of like, there was definitely a, A degree to which they were like, oh, okay, well, we don't have to worry about you at all. You're like gainfully employed now and, and we don't need to worry about giving you money for anything. Like, and anytime I was like, can I have money for so and so, they'd be like, no. Yeah, well, what do you have to do with it?
- [20:17]
John Gabrus
That's feed you. Yeah, there was like a little bit like, I think that would disrupt like the power dynamic in my house a little because it would be like, you can't do blank unless your homework is done. But if I had like a cool Hondo and a Benjamin in my pocket every month, I'd be like, f Mom, I don't need A's. I'm going to go get. I'm going to skateboard and get a fucking fribble from friendlies right now.
- [20:37]
Alex Goldman
Oh yeah, Well, I lived, I lived a block away from. I lived a block away from a CVS that was in a former Chuck E. Cheese, so it was still shaped like a castle, but it was just a cvs. And, and I would go there and just like, like seriously stack up on the junk food.
- [20:54]
John Gabrus
Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. When I was old enough to ride bikes, me and my friends would ride on. Many people might not know this, but about Long island. And I'm assuming it's similar to a lot of Tri State area places. You have a cvs, a Duane Reade and Rite Aid in every town. So you have like four to five and we would just ride our bikes to one every day and shoplift and, or buy candy and lighters and shit until we were like, you know, Persona non grata at that spot. Then we would switch to the Duane Reade and rob them for fucking $9 a day or whatever. A long Bic lighter and a king size Snickers in your. Down your pants and you just kind of walk out, hoping that doesn't fall out of your wide legs at the bottom.
- [21:38]
Alex Goldman
Oh, yeah, seriously, you got to tuck them into your. You got to tuck them into your shoes.
- [21:41]
John Gabrus
Yeah, yeah, Yup. Or if you hold your pants tight on the left side, like, bunched up, like, in your pocket, you can drop them into your pants and, like, your pants will be tight enough that they'll just kind of sit on your thighs, which was our. Which was our go to move. Or you tuck in your shirt and drop a couple of things down your shirt and run out of there.
- [21:57]
Alex Goldman
God, you guys were visionaries.
- [21:59]
John Gabrus
We. Yeah, the. The shoplifting game really fell off once. I used one of those lighters to make a little fire that then caught the entire elementary school field on fire. And I got, like, a police. Police and fire department came, and it kind of made me afraid of fire for a few years, but definitely knocked me and my three scumbag friends off from. We were like, I think we're done shoplifting. It's like, yeah, like, now that john is a 14 year old in a cop car, like, maybe it's time we. We bail on all this.
- [22:31]
Alex Goldman
We never got caught, but we definitely were. We definitely were very enamored of finding out that rubber cement, you could just spread it on something and light it on fire. That.
- [22:40]
John Gabrus
Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Literally, the fire that we started was me, like, putting a bunch of crab apples and kindling inside a paper bag, and I threw it in the long jump pit, which is all sand, so I thought we'd be okay. But then, like, ember blew out and, like, I mean, the visuals coming to me of, like, people in their yards, like, holding hoses to, like, stop the fire and stuff, like, it was almost like a real bad issue. But I think I'm past the. What's the terminology I'm looking for? Statute. Nope. Not statutory. Statue of limitations.
- [23:13]
Alex Goldman
Limitations.
- [23:14]
John Gabrus
Yeah. I'm thinking I'm past the statutory rape phase. It's like, what was that? Nothing. I didn't mean that.
- [23:20]
Alex Goldman
I didn't realize what kind of podcast I was going on. I got to go. You should.
- [23:24]
John Gabrus
I. I could have told you that from the jump. What? So when I was in college, which is, like, where I think a lot of people get, you know, a slightly different job because, like, high school jobs only have X amount of things you can really do in college, I was a bartender and a bouncer sometimes, but frequently I lived off of my lifeguarding money from the summer because I made so much and was unable to spend it so much for like a 50. What I mean is like for 18 year old who has nothing who's, you know, I had to pay for like gas and car insurance. My parents got me my car, you know, as a hand me down car. I didn't have to buy shit like that. Privilege, I understand. But in college I lived with a bunch of guys who. I had campus jobs or off campus jobs, like anything to make a few bucks. Did you. Did you end up getting a college or did you. Did you go. You went to college, right?
- [24:21]
Alex Goldman
I did go to college, yeah.
- [24:22]
John Gabrus
Did you have a job there or at. On campus or some shit?
- [24:26]
Alex Goldman
I had a couple jobs. So. So I was like doing internships, which, you know, I was trying to, you know, get it. I thought I was going to be like the next great. I thought I was going to be Lester Bangs. I didn't realize this was before Pitchfork, so I didn't realize that like the world had plenty of Lester Banks that didn't need me to do it. I thought it was just me, but. But. So I was like trying to do writing internships, but also I tell. I did telemarketing for a little while for a company called share, which was like a. Which was a nonprofit. They would. They would do. They would do telemarketing, like phone banking for nonprofits. They try and raise money for. For them. But my most vivid memory of that job is one time we were doing. We were doing a. A like LGBT organization. We were fundraising for them. And I said, hi, we're from Cher. And everybody was like, you mean like Share, the singer? And I was like, no, I'm sorry.
- [25:26]
John Gabrus
Every single person who called shares on the phone, you're like, oh, God, so sorry. Let me call her. ID doesn't exist. S H A R E. We'll get caller ID soon enough.
- [25:36]
Alex Goldman
But really, I might. One of my jobs in college was probably my best job, which was I delivered flowers for a living.
- [25:44]
John Gabrus
Whoa.
- [25:45]
Alex Goldman
And it was.
- [25:46]
John Gabrus
My wife is a florist right now. That's so funny that. What was what made that job better than other delivery jobs or what? What'd you like about it? Yeah.
- [25:57]
Alex Goldman
Well, I mean, first of all, I was either only delivering to funeral homes where the funeral. Funeral director would just take it and be like, okay, thank you, or I was like giving someone something that made them happy. So, like, right. And I just Got to like drive around for hours a day and it was like really easy.
- [26:15]
John Gabrus
That's awesome. And you don't have to deal like your car smells like flowers. Whereas my brother delivered like Chinese food and like fried chicken. So. Oh yeah, you're like, car would stink and your clothes would stink at the end of the day. Not stink, but would reek of the foodstuffs.
- [26:31]
Alex Goldman
The longest. So the longest high school job I had, I worked at Subway for three years and.
- [26:36]
John Gabrus
Whoa, you were a sandwich artist?
- [26:38]
Alex Goldman
Yep, I was. And that for me was it had some elements of the lifeguarding aspect actually because it was at the University of Michigan Students Union. So I spent a lot of time flirting with women who were much older than me or not even much older than me. But we're in like a different universe, you know what I mean?
- [26:55]
John Gabrus
Well, yeah. Well, when you're 16 now, you know, you have a 45 year old friend, they, they could be their partner, could be 33. And it's not unusual. But when you are 16 and talk to a 19 year old girl that is a woman, even though she is only a couple of years older than your current girlfriend or whatever she is. Like being around college college girls when you're in high school is like, that's like for me with the lifeguarding shit. I was just like, what's up? I'm cool. Like, I went to college. Like I know how to play beer pong. Tina from the beach taught me.
- [27:28]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, yeah. When I was 21, I dated someone who is 25. And I was like, she's out of college, she has a real job. She's like an adult. I don't even know how to talk to her. It was like completely different experience to me dating someone who was 25. I was bragging to my friends, I was like, you just date children. You guys don't know anything. Maybe when you grow up someday you'll know what it's like to date a real woman.
- [27:51]
John Gabrus
My girlfriend sets an alarm every day.
- [27:54]
Alex Goldman
She has to get up before noon.
- [27:57]
John Gabrus
She has places to be, unlike us who are just more or less drifting in time here.
- [28:02]
Alex Goldman
At the time that I was dating her and she was, she was 25 and had had a real job. She was working for the city. I was working midnights at a gas station.
- [28:18]
John Gabrus
Guess who just got back from a 10 day vacation where he brought his 10 AG1 packets and was able to maintain some semblance of health and feeling good and nutrition despite being on a quite a long bender and quite a busy schedule. Every morning in my hotel room, I'd shake up a little AG one so that I can get all of my morning vitamins, nutrition, et cetera, et cetera. So it makes it a little bit easier. I know the holidays are just around the corner. Maybe you'll be going home to visit fam or haven't hit the road to see the in laws or whatever. I highly recommend bringing along your AG1 packets and nothing better. Find a little water bottle in your hotel room, fill it up and boom, there you go. You got your first step of the day and it's important to just take that first healthy step even while on vacation. Granted, I would chug my AG1 down, then have like a nice little cafe con leche. But then I would not make many other healthy choices. It was vacation. I did a lot of walking and a lot of AG1 to help me feel less bloated, helping with my getting my poops regular. And it's, it helps me stay on track and it just makes it easy. So do yourself a favor, bring the packet. As a matter of fact, do what I did and bring a couple of extra packets for your partner or friend and say hey, throw this down in the morning. And then I am always the salesman. I would hooked up my some of my cousin's friends at the wedding. I'm like oh yeah. And also if you want to buy some, use promo code mighty. Speaking of promo code Mighty. So this holiday season, try AG1 for yourself or even gift it to someone special. It's the perfect time to focus on supporting your body with an easy and surprisingly delicious daily health drink. And that's why I've been partnering with AG1 for so long. Every week of November, AG1 will be running a special Black Friday offer for a free gift with your first subscription in addition to the welcome kit with vitamin D3 and K2. So make sure to check out drinkag1.com mighty to see what gift you can get this week. That's drinkag1.com mighty to start your holiday season off on a healthier note while supplies last drink ag1.com mighty d r I n k a g the number1.comm I g h t y the holiday season and crowdless stores, endless gift lists. You got to figure out Secret Santa and you come home kind of stressed and boom. Who's there for you via Via's premium THC and THC Free gummies will help you find the perfect holiday balance. They're well known for their renowned, award winning THC and THC free gummies, vapes, flower soothing topicals and calming drops all crafted with the highest quality hemp sourced from trusted independently owned American farms. And the best part VIA legally ships to nearly all states in the U.S. in discreet packaging directly to your door with a worry free guarantee, no medical card required. And it's Via is having a huge holiday sale. You can get up to 25% off site wide plus up to 50% off select items and bundles. Check out viahemp.com that's V I I A H E M P.com hey look the via CBN relaxing night gummies. I forget the actual flavor. I've been popping those to help me get some sleep at night and it's been a real treat. So you know using Via to unlock the power of nature and use just vegan hemp extracts makes me feel better for relaxation, rejuvenation and for th those of you who don't want any of the psychoactive effects, they have 0thc products so you can take advantage of their CBD line, sleep, focus and energy and their products range from zero to a hundred milligrams. So if you're looking to microdose or looking to maybe get lean more towards the macro dose you can get in there. So this holiday season gift yourself some peace of mind. If you're 21/head to viahemp.com to shop their huge holiday sale. For a limited time via is offering 25% off site wide plus up to 50% off select items and bundles. And if you hear this ad post sale you can still save by using code HAM for 25 off. So an extra 25 off using HAM. That's V I I A H E M P.com please support a show and tell them we sent you this holiday season enhance your everyday with via promo code HAM NordVPN what a way to safely access your favorite streams and other content from home. No matter where you go, just switch your virtual location. Now here's something I didn't even think about with using a VPN specifically nord you can find out like while shopping to see if the same product is cheaper in another region, access foreign E stores, apps and online auctions for a wider selection of Items. That's nuts. NordVPN account protects up to 10 devices so there's no need for separate ones. 7100 plus servers in 118 countries. It's super fast. NordVPN is one of the fastest VPNs out there and it's easy to use. Connect with one click or enable Auto Connect for the classic zero click protection. Now that is pretty exciting. And you know, what other reasons do you need a VPN for? You can access your favorite streams and other content from home no matter where you go. Access apps and websites from other countries, access to social media and stuff not available due to censorship, depending where you are. So get your tushy on NordVPN. So go to NordVPN.com mighty that's n o r d v p n dot com m I g h t y NordVPN.com mighty well, you really have had a lot of jobs. I want to jump back to sandwich artists for a second because this is probably at the height of Subway's popularity too.
- [34:12]
Alex Goldman
Like this is right when Jared, when Jared became the mascot. So yeah, it was hugely popular. But not only that, so it was the University of Michigan students union and the dining hall for one of the dorms was closed on Sundays and the dorm was connected to the union. So on Sundays we would get like a line of 40 kids that lasted six hours. And it was you just jamming out.
- [34:46]
John Gabrus
Five dollar footlongs all fucking day.
- [34:48]
Alex Goldman
I mean, part of the thing is that it made so much money that the franchisee really didn't care what we got up to. So we would like. It was like where I learned about hip hop because one of my co workers would just blast Wu Tang while we were, while we were working.
- [35:02]
John Gabrus
Yeah.
- [35:03]
Alex Goldman
And, and it was like, it was really fun. Also the other thing that was great is that they made so much money. They didn't do, they didn't worry too much about inventory. So I would constantly just be, you know, I'd be like, well, I'm going to take home like a pound of onions to make, to make this or that with my friends. So that's. I'm not a, I'm not a chef, but my friend, I'd be like, I'd be like, listen, what do you guys need for dinner? And I just take home whatever, whatever ingredients we had. No one was the wiser. No one gave a shit.
- [35:31]
John Gabrus
Oh, that's so fun. Yeah, I would definitely be leaving with like a fucking meatball hero like every night. Oh, man.
- [35:37]
Alex Goldman
Oh, well. So the other thing is I was in a food court, so not only did I get to, did I get to just eat as much Subway as I wanted, but we could trade. So I, I had my pick of like Little Caesars and Wendy's and a franchise that no longer exists anymore called yogurt and sandwiches, which was like frozen yogurt. And, and, and, and, and like, and like, sh. It was pretty bad. But you know, every once in a while you need like a change of pace from the bad food that you're serving, right?
- [36:04]
John Gabrus
You're like, I'll trade you some of this yoga mat rubber bread for some of your, you know, grade D beef chili over at Wendy's.
- [36:13]
Alex Goldman
And you're like, hell yeah, that's exactly right.
- [36:15]
John Gabrus
But that's the time, right? Because like, when you're that young too, like, your body is kind of indestructible and you're like, I eat. I ate Subway every single day for a year and I'm fine, you know, and you could. And it was like one of the. In hindsight, like, obviously it was all like, it's all processed meat and the bread is so artificial. But at the time it was like, I just get a turkey here. Six foot turkey. Six foot, one foot turkey. Dude. It's. I'm just having a Subway opened in my town that was like in the parking lot of the aforementioned CVs, like in a hut. Like the Subway Hut, more or less, which is now a Dunkin Donuts, interestingly enough. But when the Subway opened, me and my buddies would ride our bikes there. And for a while it was buy one, get one free footlongs. And I would eat. I was like, this is going to be a surprise. And now looking at myself in the mirror every day and talking to my cardiologist quarterly, this makes sense. But at the time I would get, I would be like 15 and get 2 foot long subs and eat them both. Like the foot long Italian and a foot long meatball hero, the most like, guido order you can have. And I would eat that like twice a week. I would eat two feet of fucking Subway. I can only imagine.
- [37:30]
Alex Goldman
And that that Italian sandwich is just pure meat. It's like, it's like, it's like half an inch of meat.
- [37:36]
John Gabrus
Yeah. It's so awesome. I still love it. Subway fucked up. My. Like, I'm a sandwich snob, but Subway fucked up. Like, I love Italian heroes, but the best. My favorite way to eat an Italian hero is pepperoni, salami, provolone, lettuce and mayo and nothing else. Because Subway broke me. Because that was my favorite thing to get for so many years in a row.
- [37:57]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, that's great. That's. They're great, though. I'm not going to say they're not great, but I do recognize that, like, I understand why you need to have quarterly conversations.
- [38:05]
John Gabrus
Right? Right. Oh, Man, I like having a big college nearby, like, because I would eventually for to keep making money on nights and weekends and nights and off season, I would get a job at the Hofstra Swim center as a lifeguard. Hofstra is a university on Long island that's like a half hour from 20 minutes from my mom's house. So I worked nights. And in the winter, when I'd come home from winter break, I'd get on the schedule there. And, you know, in college you get like that three to four week winter break. And I would work, you know, random. The swim center was open from like 6am to 11pm and so they just needed so many bodies and you could just like, rack up hours. And then you're there with like, college kids who are on like, the work study program who give less of a shit than you do, and you're like, I. So it's like, that was another job where I'm just like. I'm around all adults and the weirdos that go there. And then like, Hofstra college kids, they're like, we're going to this bar this weekend. I'm like, I don't have an id. They're like, nah. One of my roommates looks just like you will do a pass back. And now I'm 17 in fucking, like, bogarts, wasted with my coat. I'm at like, a work party, and I'm the youngest person by, like 10 years hammered, having the time of my life. So that. That was another job I really liked. But again, that kind of falls under the lifeguarding umbrella.
- [39:26]
Alex Goldman
What was your worst job?
- [39:28]
John Gabrus
Ooh, good question. Worst job. After. After college, I pretty much never really had, like, a staff job ever again. I worked. I worked. I was a PA at VH1 for like a year and a half after college. And then after that, I technically freelanced the whole time, but it was just a permanence. It was just a year and a half in a row.
- [39:50]
Alex Goldman
What does a PA do at VH1? Like, what was your job?
- [39:52]
John Gabrus
I was. I worked on Best Week Ever. So I was transcribing a lot of interviews. And the high. Talk about when you said the florist job, this. This was the highlight. The best thing you can get as a PA job was like, this predates computer graphics a little bit. You know, we're in like, 0403 at this point. You would have to go do something called motion control, which is where they put like a magazine on a. Or a newspaper article and shoot it, like from overhead in different ways so that it can, like, look cool. It was like, After Effects was just coming around, but it would, like, look cool on screen. And they would need that weekly for, like, headlines or other stuff. And I would. That would be the best thing because they'd be like, oh, you have to go to this place and do this. And when you go to any other place in production, they take care of you because they want your business. So it's like, hey, it's Bagel Friday. Or like, we're making margaritas. Cause it's 4pm and so you'd get like, this. You'd be treated like an executive producer, even though you just went because it was a shit job. But they also had, like, no oversight on you at those times. You know, they'd be like, all right. And I'll be like, gone for three and a half hours. You know, Sorry. Like, it took longer. And they were like. Without Internet, like, cell phones, they couldn't keep up, you know? So I would just disappear for, like, three hours and come back with my work done. That took one hour, but two hours just walking around the city.
- [41:11]
Alex Goldman
Oh, I would definitely, like, when I had my. When I had my floor, when I had my flower delivery job, I definitely spent a decent amount of time, like, hanging out by the river and just, like, you know, chewing on a piece of straw, being like, well, this is the life.
- [41:24]
John Gabrus
Yeah, when I. Yeah, like, when I go back, they're gonna make me work again. But they also have no idea how much time this specific task takes. So I'll just pat it on every fucking side. You know, I'll stop and eat lunch and then be like, when I get back, I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go grab lunch. Okay. So I never had, like, a bad job that I had to keep for a long time. But the worst job I ever had was after I was. You know, once I was kind of out of a day job territory. I was constantly looking for ways to. Like, I was a temp for a long time, and that was awful. Temping is, like, just show up at an office looking like, I look not like an office worker at all. And everyone just being, like, kind of pissed at you and you kind of suck and you make $11 an hour or whatever.
- [42:12]
Alex Goldman
Right.
- [42:12]
John Gabrus
But though people want.
- [42:14]
Alex Goldman
People. People. You want nothing to do with them. They want nothing to do with you. They know you don't want to be there.
- [42:18]
John Gabrus
Yeah, they know I'm barely helping or whatever. And like, this was in the early aughts, mid aughts so they still had like, crazy corporate culture. Like, I went to Lehman Brothers and all I was doing was filing stuff. And they hated the way I looked. I had like a mustache and messy hair. And they were like, can you go home and change? And I was like, oh, no. I was like, I live in. I live in fucking Williamsburg. It would take me like an two hours round trip to do this. And they were like, oh, okay. Can you at least go in the bathroom and like, wet your hair or figure something out? And I'm like, I'm working in the Lehman Brothers medical office, just moving files around. It was so weird.
- [42:57]
Alex Goldman
Where. How long did you live in New York City?
- [43:00]
John Gabrus
I was in New York City for about eight or nine years, maybe. Eight? Yeah, nine. I lived in Williamsburg and then like Carol Gardens, Red Hook area for a while.
- [43:10]
Alex Goldman
Gotcha.
- [43:10]
John Gabrus
And the worst, worst job I ever had was around the time the movie Balls of Fury starring Dan Fogler, the ping pong comedy with Chris Walken in Asian Face. I actually.
- [43:24]
Alex Goldman
I had forgotten that part.
- [43:26]
John Gabrus
Mean, I never have got the poster right behind me. I had to dress me and an Asian woman dressed up as the characters. Like her. The Asian character in that movie dresses kind of like a geisha meets Chun Li. I had to dress like Dan Fogler with like a big red Afro. And we would go to bars on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, the month leading up to that movie coming out, and try to get people to take photos with promotional Balls of Fury. Ping pong balls, paddles. If. If the bar had beer pong. We try to get people to use our cups and our balls. All this stuff. Now the job was three weekends. One month, three weekends and like three nights each weekend and. And like four hours each night. So not an intense job. It paid pretty good. But if you finished all three weekends without quitting, you got a 1500 dollars bonus and you got paid.
- [44:26]
Alex Goldman
That is a sign that things are not great.
- [44:29]
John Gabrus
Exactly. And I didn't. And I did not know it at the time because I was a fucking youngster. And I was like, the whole job itself, if I do, it pays 2,000 over the three weekends, but if I do, if I don't quit, I get an extra 1500. I'm like, cakewalk. I was like spending the money in my head. I'm like, that's like four months rent plus utilities. Like, I could really just coast and do nothing. And on week two weekend, to me also at the time, it's like the. My poor co. My poor partner was getting, like, sexually harassed everywhere. We went, she was dressed kind of provocatively in like a cosplay type thing. And we had to take pictures with like drunk 20 year olds everywhere. And I'm like, oh, this is a nightmare for her. And then I was like, I don't think I could do this anymore. She's like, I didn't want to quit because I felt so bad. And I knew you were talking about the bonus, but I can't do this anymore either. And then we found out that like, everybody was quitting. I was like, oh, okay. And that was hands down the worst job I've ever been. Had. I've ever had. You would think a job where you just go to a bar and get people to take photos with you and with no oversight, no boss with you, like, would be easy and fun. It was, it was the worst experience of my life. And like, I. I was a bartender and an alcoholic, so I'd been around a ton and come from a family of drinkers, so it wasn't even being around drunk people. But it does get old fast. Going to like four different East Village bars and just hearing the same fucking from all different people. You're like, society's fucking falling apart, you know, Like, I can just see it. I could just see it happen. Happening. What, what was your worst job?
- [46:06]
Alex Goldman
That's, that's tough because I. I mean, I've had a lot of shitty jobs, I would say, so. I had a brief. I had a brief period of my life where I was like, I just graduated from college, didn't know what I wanted to do. I had friends who lived in Texas and I was like, sure, I'll move to Texas, whatever. So I was living in Denton, Texas. I don't know if you're familiar, it's like north of Dallas is where UNT is. And there, there was nothing for me there. There was like, no, I mean, there was nothing for me to do. I just. There was no, nothing that catered to my college degree or my expertise. It was a college town. I could like work in restaurants or, or something like that. Except the highest paying job that required no skill whatsoever was there was a state institution for the developmentally disabled located in Denton. And you could just go there and be an orderly and you'd get paid 1500 bucks a month and rent in Denton, Texas in 2003 when I graduated from college was, you know, 200 bucks a month. So I was cleaning up, I was making so much money. But I was an orderly at a state institution for the developmentally disabled. So you Know, you, you take, you take your licks when you do that.
- [47:27]
John Gabrus
Yeah, that's, that's an intense job. That's like a grownup job, you know, like, that's someone. People who get those jobs like, want to work in that field. Like, you have to kind of want to work in that field too.
- [47:38]
Alex Goldman
And I, I will say that, like, I really liked the residents and I liked my co workers too, but it was just like a really poorly funded place that was sort of operating on really antiquated ideas of like, what mental health meant and what these. How these guys should be treated. And it was, it was pretty rough. And you know, I really was not, not prepared for the degree to which I had to be wiping men's asses.
- [48:03]
John Gabrus
Oh, yeah, that is something. That is an eye opener when you have to wipe a man's ass, which I never had to do for a job, but I had to do for my dad when he was on his way out. That, that changes a. That's a whole new, new dynamic.
- [48:18]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, it's, it's very, it's very weird. Especially since, like, you think of it as being so intimate, but it's like so dispassionate. These guys are just like, whatever, like.
- [48:27]
John Gabrus
You have to help. Like, yeah, I can't do it myself.
- [48:31]
Alex Goldman
I need your help.
- [48:32]
John Gabrus
Right?
- [48:33]
Alex Goldman
Oh, that's so.
- [48:34]
John Gabrus
That's wild. Also, how long did you stay in Denton, by the way? Like, that would be like a thing where you're like, hey, to a psychiatrist, like a therapist. Hey, I'm feeling a little depressed. You know, I'm orderly. And Denton, he's like, ah, brother, I can, I can, I can figure out what sucks about your life from the sound of it.
- [48:52]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, I was there for too long. I was there from 2000. I was there for almost two years. Not quite two years, but I mean.
- [49:05]
John Gabrus
What was that lifestyle like, living with friends in a cheap town and like, what, like, is that, Were you doing music then too? Like, were you like.
- [49:15]
Alex Goldman
I was real. This. That was, that was my wayward. The wayward part of my life where I, like, wasn't. I was too depressed to be doing anything except going to parties and drinking. Really?
- [49:24]
John Gabrus
Yeah. So you were just like processing money into alcohol? More or less?
- [49:28]
Alex Goldman
Yeah. Yeah, I was. I, I think these days they call it rotting. I spent a lot of time in bed and then when I wasn't in bed, I was, I was, I was drinking.
- [49:37]
John Gabrus
Yeah. Familiar. I'm familiar with that phase.
- [49:43]
Alex Goldman
Wow, that does one day.
- [49:44]
John Gabrus
That does sound like a bad one. That's for sure.
- [49:47]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, it was rough. And then, and then I had friends who were in New York who were like, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. And they're like, come to New York. And then it was like, pretty much on a whim. I, I wrote a, I, I wrote a letter to my landlord which was like, hey, I know I'm breaking my lease. Please don't, please don't report me to the credit agency. Of course they did. And they should have. Like, I just sent them a message which is like, hey, don't do this.
- [50:11]
John Gabrus
But with no, like, grounds to make a case on that or anything like that.
- [50:16]
Alex Goldman
No, no, no. It was just like, hey, I really need to move. Please don't do this. It wasn't like, this is the, this is the logical argument as to why you should not do this.
- [50:27]
John Gabrus
Oh, man. I, I was a job that I thought was gonna be bad that I got was a friend of mine started as at the same temp agency as me. I wish I could remember that. I wish I could pull the name of it now just for my own sake, but I can't. Atrium Staffing? Fuck yes. And my buddy Jeff was sat on the desk at Pratt, the college in Brooklyn, for the dean's desk. And he was temping there for a while. Then he got hired and, you know, gets the temp agency gets bought out, he gets a raise and he no longer has to be a temp. He gets to work at Pratt. And he was taking like a summer job that was going to have him gone for like five weeks. And this is when I was temping and desperate. But I did like temping in the city because then I would be in the city when I was done and I can go out after or sneak away for a non union audition. That would degrade me in a fully different way than temping. But he was like, Gabrius, if you tell Atrium Staffing you'll take this job, I'll get you this job because I'll train, I'll get to train you. And then he's like, I'm leaving in the summer. He's like, being the dean's like, receptionist and assistant in the summer is so easy. And I'm like, oh. He's like, he's never in the office. You get a call or two a day and all you do is write them down. You just write messages down. And I took this job, I lived in Brooklyn, so going to Pratt was not crazy. It was kind of Fun to commute without the idea of leaving the borough. And then this was like, probably 0708. And like, Craigslist jobs are like a big thing at the time. And, like, I would just. I was just sitting at a desk waiting for calls to come in with almost no. Sometimes they'd be like, there's. We can. We can make the dean's assistant do this. And it would be like, can you sort these papers or what? You know, it'd be like, the other people who had other jobs would be like, do you want to help us do blank? And I'd be like, yeah, of course. But for most of the day, I just sat there on a computer screen applying to Craigslist jobs that could potentially make me extra money or whatever. And the one weirdest job I got was a joke website that people submitted jokes to and then they would post it. Needed someone to be a copy editor. And you got. You got like 25 cents for every joke you edited. So I would spend hours at my desk rapidly editing jokes. And, like, I can read fast, I can kind of type fast, and I'm much better at it now, but I certainly could write jokes and punch up jokes. So I was. I would start doing more and more punch up. I would put, like, ellipses. I'd be like, no, this needs to be all caps for this joke to punt. And so I accidentally trained myself on becoming a better comedy writer. But at the same time, I was trying to. My goal was to do a hundred jokes a day to make like 25 extra bucks or whatever. And I was getting up to like 200 jokes a day of just like, edit, edit, like press new, and then like, edit, edit, edit, and then save, press new, edit, edit and save. And then so I was doing like, you know, three jobs at once, doing improv shows at night and shit, and still only bringing home like $275 a week or whatever. But it was like, I thought I was running, like, the scam of the fucking century having, like, I'm making money hand over fist. I'm at here. They're paying me 13 an hour to be here, and then I'm making an extra 40 bucks a day writing jokes. I felt like I was the fucking. Like, I felt like Goodfellas more or less. Like I was like, they're gonna shut the money faucet off on this, man. It's going too good.
- [54:09]
Alex Goldman
There's no way anybody can. Can keep this up forever. There's something's gotta go wrong. Right? What, like, what was the Auditioning process. Like, did you have an agent? Like, how are you getting, how are you getting the auditions?
- [54:20]
John Gabrus
At the time, I was, I was doing some Craigslist auditions. You know, there'd be like some non union stuff in there. As a matter of fact, I booked something once off of a. Off of a Craigslist audition. And it felt like I took a day off. I was on the weekend and I was a PA at VH1 and I was like, they're giving me $500 for the day. It was like the hardest day of work I had as like a kid. I was like, oh, if as an actor, I was like, oh, this is brutal what they made us do for a couple hundred bucks. And, you know, but I, I then I took a commercial acting class and got a commercial agent. Shout out, Brooke and Mary, if you live in New York, I'm sure they still teach this commercial acting class. Got a commercial agent. Then every once and then you think like, well, now I'll just book a commercial and I'll be fine and I'll be rich. And then I, I don't have to temp anymore. And then that, you know, doesn't happen. As a matter of fact, I booked a Jello commercial eventually. I was barely in it, but it paid a lot of money. And at the time I was in between jobs. It was like the holiday season was coming up. I had applied to be a Circuit City seasonal employee to work like Christmas at Circuit City. I had already had a comedy writing job. I wrote for the Spike TV Video Game Awards. I had done a bunch of comedy stuff and a couple of small things, and I was like, it, I guess. And then, like, I did this. I had done this Jello commercial that paid me, like, you know, fifteen hundred dollars for the day. I was like, all right, well, I got to do Circuit City. And then a residuals check came in for this national Jello commercial, and it was for like $14,000 or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It was like, all together. And I was like, circuit City called me. I was like, I do not need this job. Click. Yeah, like, go home to visit my parents. And I have, like, shit, like, more money than I've had in, like, years at that point. I was like, that was a fucking. The timing on that was impeccable.
- [56:15]
Alex Goldman
So my. Sorry, go ahead.
- [56:17]
John Gabrus
No, I was gonna say. And then I, like, never really needed a survivor. I mean, I would teach and coach. Improv became like my survivor job, which had its own drawbacks, but you'd have to be, like, really privileged to complain about that when your friend, the guy you're talking to, just told you about being an orderly 10 in Texas, I'll be like, coaching improv in New York City was brutal.
- [56:42]
Alex Goldman
What, what are the drawbacks of that? Or is it just weird egos and shit?
- [56:45]
John Gabrus
Weird egos and shit. And like, you're not much older or, or frequently younger. And some people have issues with like, that, like, there is like a weird status thing that comes with that. The hardest part was it starts to make you hate the art form you do. Like, that was the hardest thing was like, watching bad improv all the time. You'd equate your own shows with like. Because that started to become work where going to show doing shows never felt like work. Now all of a sudden, improv is associated with work where you're like, Sunday morning and I gotta go watch these, like, eight white kids do the dumbest fucking shit. Okay, let me go do it. And then you're like, I fucking hate improv. And then you realize when you stop teaching and coaching and watching bad improv all the time, you're like, when you're doing it and it's good, this is a wonderful thing. It's like, oh, I don't hate, like, whatever. If you have like a limited health bar for dealing with improv, if you burn it all trying to make $20 an hour coaching it, then when it comes time to do it, you hate it. And then you're like, even as a.
- [57:44]
Alex Goldman
Spectator, like, watching people struggle through improv might be one of the more painful things I've ever had to, like, one of the more painful entertainment, quote unquote experiences I've ever had. Actually, you.
- [57:55]
John Gabrus
You just made me think of something I get we're dealing with in couples therapy is that I, I laugh a lot in situations that don't, shouldn't have laughs or that make my wife self conscious. And I realized, I think part of the reason why I laugh through so much stuff, like nerves, anxiety, nerves, awkwardness, is from coaching improv where I'm like, the only thing that's going to make everyone in this room feel good right now is, Is the teacher kind of laughing. I'm like, oh, you know, that was pretty funny. But if I were to do that scene or the way to. Correctly way to do it would be completely different, you know, but, like, I think I got the nervous tick of laughter from that. I also think it might be from being around alcoholics too, because the best way to get out of a conversation with an aggressive uncle is to be like, ah, yeah, I am gay because I watch so many movies. See you later. You know, what were you about to say before I went off?
- [58:45]
Alex Goldman
Oh, you mentioned. What's it called? Craigslist jobs. And when I first moved to New York City, I applied for a job. It was like, copy editor on a website. And I was like, okay, sure. So I went to interview for it, and the website was. Was the website. The person who hired me was the guy who did the score for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Chinese guy. Whoa. He was just like. He was like, I need someone to, like, just keep my website up to date. Everyone here is a native Chinese speaker. So, like, so, like, I just hung out in this guy's Chelsea basement for six months, cleaning his website up, uploading videos to it. I met. I met Zhang Jiyi, the guy who directed Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. He didn't speak any English. Like, we didn't have a conversation, but he did shake my hand. And it was such a weird job. Can you imagine getting that job off of Craigslist of all places?
- [59:45]
John Gabrus
I had a Craigslist interview to be a. I wish I could remember the illustrator's name, but, like, a comic artist and writer. I auditioned, had the job interview, and it was like, in his cool East Village, like, studio apart, like, apartment that had, like, a studio area. And I'm like, fuck, if I get this job, this would be. I did not get it. But it was like, also, Craigslist jobs were so light, like, not even lightly. So scam adjacent. Frequently. It felt like OG phishing. It felt like IRL phishing scams. It's like, like, well, yeah, come on into the office. Fill out, write all your. Your contact information here. Give us a resume with everything about you on it, and we will never call you again. But now.
- [60:30]
Alex Goldman
But we will steal your identity.
- [60:32]
John Gabrus
Right? Exactly. We will somehow get you on our emailing list, but you will not have a job. So do not fret.
- [60:40]
Alex Goldman
I do know a lot of people who, like, got Craigslist Craigslist jobs where they would just show up in it. In it. And it would be like, they would, like, walk in and. And it would look like the place had just been furnished. And it was very hastily furnished at that boiler room.
- [60:57]
John Gabrus
Shit.
- [60:57]
Alex Goldman
Yeah.
- [60:58]
John Gabrus
And you're like, I just. I had a flashback of another survivor job I had randomly. A buddy of mine at the. Actually, the guy who got me the job at Pratt, Shout out. My buddy Jeff. He also had a connection at. At this. Oh, I wish I could. It's either I think it's called J Strong Water. And they are. They were like high end tchotchkes and knickknacks. It would be like a $280 Swarovski crystal tiger that was like the size of like PEZ dispenser or something like that. Be such insane garbage. But they would. They would do like two week, like, and. And I'm sure this still exists. I'm not plugged into like fashion or these worlds anymore or ever. But they would do like these two week trunk shows that would be like. They'd rent a loft space in like, near Madison Square park. And it would be like, people would wait in line and come in and buy like, severely discounted J Strong Water shit and that. And the people that were coming in, I saw, so they. They needed a bunch of extra bodies to help with stacking and move it. So when they did these, they. I would get hired for this like two week job once a year or every six months. And the people that would come in would buy like $20,000 worth of stuff. And they were all Russian. And people around there said like, I think all this stuff sells for way more in Russia, so they would like buy a shit ton of it here. And they were moving so much garb and they were all like dumb knickknacks. Like, a pill container would be like $55 and it would be like this big and open with like a bird on it. It was all the ugliest shit. But we would get like $12 an hour to help out. But then the real thing was is if you can steal a couple of those things each day you worked, you could put them on ebay for a couple hundred bucks a pop and end up. And so I. And you. And they searched your bags when you left. So you had to just be. And my. My. My system was charming and charismatic as fuck and just wedge, you know, a few things underneath, like a sweatshirt in my. In my backpack, and just take like two or three things, small things each day. And then one day they were like the person who checked our backpacks had to leave early. And we all noticed it. And I just watched like, everyone put like X, you know, eight more things in their fucking bags, myself included. My wife set up like a dummy ebay and was selling it on ebay. And it was like that job paid me like $12 an hour, but I think I made like an extra $2400 selling garbage knickknacks on ebay. It was fudgeing a crazy time. I Mean, it was already clearly a scam that everyone else was making money on. So it didn't. The handful of us that were stealing didn't feel bad. It was like so much money, there was so much cash and sketchiness going on that we were just happy to be like, I just. And then like, I remember getting something that, like, you. It all had the retail prices on it. So you would get something like, it could be the size. The thing in a box, could be the size of like a bottle of wine and could be going for like 1400 dollars. So then someone on eBay would pay $400 for that and get the deal of the lifetime. But you would be like, just to walk out of a building with this. I got an extra 400 bucks. It fucking.
- [64:15]
Alex Goldman
That's amazing. Yeah, that sounds really. That sounds like a pretty decent job, actually. But, you know, they actually selling stuff. There are some people out there who are so. Who have. Are such naturals at it. I do not count myself among them. Like, when I was. When I was doing telemarketing, I was so bad at it. And we got paid almost nothing and they were like, well, you'll make so much in commission, of course, which you'll be shocked to learn. I did not make. Like, I did not make that much. That much from commission.
- [64:44]
John Gabrus
Yeah, no, it's. I think I would be good at something like that, but I don't have the get up and go today, do it. You know what I mean? Like, I'd rather go. Like, if they're like, you know, if you really hustle, you can make. I'd be like, well, what do I make if I don't hustle?
- [65:01]
Alex Goldman
I do remember one time when I worked telemarketing, a guy was like, yeah, I'll. I'll donate $250. And I sounded so surprised. He was like, oh, okay, that seems like a lot. I'll donate a little. Little less. You know, maybe this is. Maybe I. Maybe I'm not cut out for this line of work.
- [65:18]
John Gabrus
Please hold. He's really doing it, guys. Like, you didn't put me on hold. You're like, okay, sorry, sorry. That's fucking. That's so. Well, now as a, as a grown up podcaster, radio producer, synth enthusiast, whatever, musician, whatever you're calling yourself these days, isn't it crazy that like to have these kind of, you know, I'm going to use the word dream job in loosely of like, you know, doing reply all or doing hyper fixation. Doing like, these are like jobs other people wish they could have and they're great. But do you find yourself every once in a while, especially in between things, longing for like, that easy. Not easy necessarily, but, like, no emotional attachment, things I don't know.
- [66:08]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, I can shut my. Shut off at the end of the day.
- [66:10]
John Gabrus
Yeah, absolutely. I fantasize about shit like that. All. That's why when you said it's not too late to be a lifeguard, I'd be like, brother, you have no idea. I'm on the email list from the LA county firefighters. They, like, the test is in two weeks or whatever. I'm like, I think about it every single. Because I think about just shifting, like, what my perspective on my own career is where it's like, well, yeah, now I'm a lifeguard who sometimes gets to act and also podcasts. Like. And rather than like, the grinding and trying to figure all this out, like, there's some. There's some appeal to that. Like, I. I talk about it all the time. I would. I was also a. I think I mentioned I've been a bartender. Another great job. There were two summers in a row where I was a beach lifeguard. And then on Mondays and Wednesday nights, I also bartended at like a college bar. And that was just like. And I was single for one of those summers. And that, that, that's like, worthy of an 80s. Like, that's worthy of like a genre movie, like a comedy movie. Like, that summer was bananas. But, like, being I long these days to be like, I wish I had one bartending shift a week. Like, I would love to just be like, oh, I'm the Monday nights guy at this bar and I can, like, tell my friends to meet me there and I can make a few cash. Even the idea of cash was always such an appeal with the bartending thing, where you'd be like, I'm walking out with $200 cash. I'm going right to buy scratchers or fudgeing Big Gulps or whatever, you know?
- [67:34]
Alex Goldman
So. So when I first started working in radio, I worked at. I was an intern at wnyc, which is the public radio station in New York. And great job, dream job. Loved it so much. But. But big caveat, at the time, WNYC did not pay interns well, actually, okay, they paid interns $10 a day, which was a travel stipend. Almost more insulting than just not.
- [67:58]
John Gabrus
Yeah.
- [67:58]
Alex Goldman
At all.
- [67:59]
John Gabrus
Woof.
- [68:01]
Alex Goldman
So I wasn't making any money. So I was a mover. And moving. It was. It was rough. But I enjoyed the people I worked With I. I was in great shape and it paid all in cash at the end of the day. So I would walk away with like 250 bucks at the end of the day. And it was like, oh, there's a lot to be said for that. There is a lot.
- [68:26]
John Gabrus
And then like to be tired from working and like, earn your money and then like go. And there's also something when you're younger and you work a job where your co workers are in their 30s or 40s and you're like, this is a good job. Or like, this is an interesting world for me to be in. Oh, yeah. Being a mover, I remember for a long period of time when I was younger and not like a kid, but like in my teens, I was like, garbage men, when do they wrap their day? If they start at 3 in the morning, are they done by like 10? And they're kind of just like lifting stuff and hanging out on a truck all day. I'm like, is this like, I know garbage sucks, but these guys probably make good money because being around garbage is disgusting.
- [69:05]
Alex Goldman
They do make good money. They. In New York City, I'm pretty sure they make great money.
- [69:10]
John Gabrus
I'm sure, like, all those city employee jobs are fucking good. A lifeguard is a city employee, technically, in New York, if you want, if you want to fucking get on that. If I want to move back, work at the Red Hook pool where I used to swim lap.
- [69:21]
Alex Goldman
You should just work. You should work. You should work as a lifeguard in LA in the winter and a lifeguard here in the summer.
- [69:29]
John Gabrus
Dude. I worked with two guys when I was a beach lifeguard in the early aughts. These two guys would fly out, they lived in Colorado. They'd fly out to New York and rent a house for the summer and work as lifeguards and they would rent a house on Fire Island. Now I know what everyone's thinking. They were straight. Fire island has many beaches that are more, you know, hetero. There are a couple of very gay locales, but they would in the winter be ski rescue guys on the mountain in Colorado, and in summers be beach lifeguards. And I was like, like that to me was like. I was like, that's the best thing that can possibly happen in life. It's like. And I'm like, I'm sure both those guys eventually to leave those jobs to get stuff with benefits and like, like to take care of families. But I'm like, could you, like, could you be 44, 42, 44, doing that still? Like, that would be so crazy, like, packing up your whole life every summer to go. Like, I dream of, like, my wife being like, I'm going to do this summer job that takes me out and I'm like, oh, cool, I'm going to move back to Long island for the summer and lifeguard. And, you know, and I'm like, I. Like, there's no way in my life that it makes sense for me to move to Long island for an entire summer. But I think about it frequently of like, well, if, you know, if she ever divorces me, I'll get a job on Long island for the summer and that'll be my How Gabriel's Got His Groove Back or whatever.
- [70:56]
Alex Goldman
I used to. There was a period of time after I became like, full time radio producer where if I was like, I want expensive, expensive toy for myself, like a piece of musical equipment or something, I can justify the expenditure if I pick up a moving shift because the guy who owned the company, the moving company I worked for was a friend. And then I hit about 35 and I did it one day and my body was, for two weeks was like, what have you done?
- [71:28]
John Gabrus
Yeah, what have you done? Yeah. Yeah.
- [71:31]
Alex Goldman
And. And then I was like, all right, it's time to, like, it's time to hang it up on the whole moving thing. I think I'm done.
- [71:36]
John Gabrus
Let me get back to Pro Tools.
- [71:39]
Alex Goldman
That's exactly right.
- [71:40]
John Gabrus
Let me. Let me put Icy Hot on my lower back and then get in there and work on. Get on Pro Tools. Oh, man. Well, speaking of jobs, what's this new job you're doing these days?
- [71:52]
Alex Goldman
Oh, yeah. So I just started a podcast called Hyper Fixed. If. If you don't know the show that I used to make, I used to host a podcast called Reply all, which.
- [72:01]
John Gabrus
Is how I learned who you were and found out. And that was. I'm sure you hear this all the Time is like, like one of my favorite podcasts that ever. I've listened to every single episode. Got to meet you and PJ when we were at now hear this in New York, like 10, whatever. However many years ago at this point, I was like, I was ecstatic. Like, I had like.
- [72:22]
Alex Goldman
I was like, that's so sweet. I felt the same way because I was a big. I was like. I was a. I was like on Comedy Bang bang in like 2010, 2000. Before that, like 2007, 2008.
- [72:32]
John Gabrus
Holy.
- [72:32]
Alex Goldman
Like, I knew. I was like, OG on Comedy Bang Bang. I knew who you were very. A long time ago.
- [72:39]
John Gabrus
Oh, that's awesome. That it made me so happy because it was like I had a parasocial relationship with you guys. I didn't, that I didn't have that word in my vocab then. I, I now have it. But at the time, meeting you guys in, in real life and for people who now, I'm sure listeners of this pod can, who have met me in real life experience it. Like when you hear Alex's voice come from Alex's face, it's very confusing. Like you're like so familiar with the sou. The visual is new. Yeah. Like, and it was so rad. But now you're doing it.
- [73:10]
Alex Goldman
I don't know what it is about, about you specifically, but I feel like every time I imagine you, you, when you're, when you are embodying a character on a, on a, on a comedy show, I always imagine you in the pose you're in on, in your Twitter avatar, which is you on your stomach on the beach. I don't know why.
- [73:30]
John Gabrus
Hey, thank you. Thank you.
- [73:32]
Alex Goldman
You're welcome. So. So, so if you never heard reply all, it was like in the vein of a lot of public radio shows like this American Life or whatever, we did stories about the Internet. And I'm doing a show now which is kind of similar in that it's like narrative and reported stories. But the, the way that I get the stories is I ask listeners to come to me with problems and I try and solve those problems. So we did a couple episodes, one with a woman who is from New York City but doesn't know how to drive in New York City. I tried to help her with that and then. But we've got all kinds of weird problems that people. There's this guy who had a similar job to the one where you were punching up jokes, where he was working for the, for a museum, a button museum in Chicago. And it was like they would get donated. You know, buttons, like you put on your jean jacket and they were like trying to catalog them. And one of them said, try our new diarrhea inducing chili cheese fries. And he's trying to figure out who. Where this button came from. So I'm working on trying to figure out where the, where the diarrhea inducing chili. Chili cheese fries were.
- [74:44]
John Gabrus
I'm so glad you took up that mantle specifically or that task specifically because that was such an appeal to reply all would be like the feeling you'd get of like, of like you finally, the itch finally went away. Like you guys would get something that seemed esoteric in distance and then Slowly pull it into focus over the. Over time. And it was always such a treat. So this is already. This is already so appealing. That's so awesome.
- [75:10]
Alex Goldman
Yeah. So we did two. We put out two pilot episodes in September, and then we're gonna go every other week starting in. Starting like, right before Thanksgiving. And the. There will also be, like, bonus episodes on the off weeks if you sign up for, like, you know, a Patreon kind of thing that you can find out about by going to our website.
- [75:32]
John Gabrus
You know, and that. Where's that website? Com, hyperfix, pod.com that will be in the show notes at minimum, whatever app you're listening to this podcast in, open up what. Whatever that is and follow or subscribe to Hyper Fixed. Do that for now. Then go get on. Get on the Patreon and support Alex and Hyper Fixed. However you deem. Like, however you want to do that, do it. But right now, in the show notes, just click, boom. Subscribe. There you go. Step one, listen and rate and all that and review later. But get this. Step in or do it now. Get off my podcast. Who gives a shit?
- [76:10]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, yeah, I mean, you've heard all you need to hear.
- [76:12]
John Gabrus
You hear?
- [76:13]
Alex Goldman
Yeah, this is the end then.
- [76:14]
John Gabrus
We're getting to the end.
- [76:14]
Alex Goldman
Now go to the other one where I'll be talking.
- [76:17]
John Gabrus
I won't be. Thank God for people who are here for Alex and tired of me. Boom. Got hyper fix, baby.
- [76:23]
Alex Goldman
But also an important thing to note is if you have a problem you want me to solve, you can also submit that at the website. So you should do that.
- [76:30]
John Gabrus
And hell yeah.
- [76:31]
Alex Goldman
And John, if there's ever a problem you feel like I might be able to help you with, please reach out.
- [76:36]
John Gabrus
Oh, that's awesome. Will do. Will do. Alex, this has been a real treat, man. Yeah, it was so nice.
- [76:44]
Alex Goldman
Thank you so much for having me.
- [76:46]
John Gabrus
Yeah, please. It was so nice to catch up. We should do this again in the near future and Absolutely. And I hope to anyone out there struggling, looking for jobs and stuff, you know, even the bad ones, will eventually be good podcast fodder in 25 years. So don't be. Don't be afraid to say yes. As for my plugs listeners, you know, Action Boys Podcast, wherever you get podcasts or it's a Patreon podcast, but you can get free episodes at Free ActionBoys Biz and check out 101 Places to Party before you die now on Max or still on Max, I shouldn't say now if it's been out for two years. Still on Max currently on Max, as far as I know.
- [77:28]
Alex Goldman
Yeah. You know, that could change at any moment with God only. I don't know if you're allowed to. I don't know if you're allowed to talk hbo, Max, because they have your show on it.
- [77:35]
John Gabrus
But Daddy Zaslav can eat a dick, bro.
- [77:39]
Alex Goldman
All right.
- [77:40]
John Gabrus
I ain't afraid of no ghost, Alex. Thank you again, brother. This was a real treat.
- [77:46]
Alex Goldman
And, yeah, this was a lot of fun. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
- [77:50]
John Gabrus
Bye. Shitheads. Hey, Mighty. That was a hit gun podcast in.
- [78:09]
Alex Goldman
A part of the world where there are no rules.
- [78:12]
John Gabrus
Holy. Holy. Guys, I'm so. I definitely have not watched this since I rented it on VHS in 92. Strangers united by the threat of death. We got all the major players, Seagal. Vladimir Putin is a good man. Arnold, you're calm. Give it to me. I need you to cream pie me now. Stal. People are loving this movie. See, it's got a lot of mentally irregular now, somewhere, somehow. Body blow. Body blow. Someone's going to pay. I would love for my wife to, like, see me rip a guy's throat out. But they didn't count on one thing. This movie's insane. That's how you know it's a good movie. You have to do almost all the work yourself to figure it out. Well, there's a fantasy component. There's some sword fighting. There's some lightning. There's a new game in town. You wake up after a few years, and then you don't even know who you are anymore. We're going to be making Terminators. We're going to make a really great deal with this universe. I don't hate him, but I p in a room. Yes, I understand. This is now the 20th ending of the movie.
- [79:17]
Alex Goldman
I am dark.
- [79:18]
John Gabrus
I'm your dad.
- [79:21]
Alex Goldman
Action.
- [79:22]
John Gabrus
Boys.
- [79:23]
Alex Goldman
Boys will be boys.
- [79:27]
John Gabrus
Subscribe here for bonus content and more free stuff from behind the paywall. To get new episodes, become a patron at Action Boys biz. Do it.
- [79:38]
Alex Goldman
Do it.
- [79:39]
John Gabrus
Come on. Do it now.