High & Mighty presents The Gino Lombardo Podcast ep #377

Summary

Podcast Summary: High and Mighty - The Gino Lombardo Podcast Episode #377

Release Date: December 19, 2024

Introduction

In episode #377 of The Gino Lombardo Podcast, presented by High and Mighty, host Gino Gabris welcomes listeners to an eclectic and tangentially chaotic discussion alongside his co-hosts and guests, Shafty, an intern from Comedy Bang Bang, and Producer Josh. The episode is a testament to the show's commitment to embracing randomness, humor, and unfiltered conversations, characteristic of what Gino describes as "the kind of stupid stuff that a nerd/meathead/manchild would be into."

Episode Highlights

1. Introduction of Gino Lombardo Podcast Episode #377

   • [00:00 - 02:00] Gino introduces the special episode featuring Gino Lombardo, highlighting Lombardo's near-death experience and his collaboration with Shafty on the podcast. Gino humorously promotes Lombardo's physical media drive available at [gino gabrius.com](http://gino gabrius.com).

2. Discussion on Podcast Milestones and Monetization

   • [02:20 - 03:05] The hosts delve into the significance of reaching episode #377, comparing it to Pete Holmes' podcast milestone where sponsorship soared. They discuss the challenges of monetizing the podcast, emphasizing the need to "bank" episodes before attracting significant ad revenue.

3. Casual Banter and Studio Antics

   • [03:05 - 06:24] A lighthearted exchange ensues about wearing diapers during live recordings to manage in-studio accidents, leading to humorous observations about the inconveniences and unexpected outcomes of such measures.

4. Long Island News Segment

   • [13:20 - 15:05] Gino presents a humorous news update about a local Long Island woman arrested for practicing dentistry without a license. Shafty relates the story to his own dubious experiences in podiatry, sparking a comedic dialogue about unauthorized medical practices.

5. Advertising Breaks and Sponsor Mentions

   • Throughout the episode, there are multiple mock advertisements for fictional products like "Prize Picks" and "AG1," blending real advertising styles with the show's irreverent humor. Notable sponsorship snippets include:
     • [17:07 - 21:57] Prize Picks - A fantasy sports app promotion featuring exaggerated claims and humorous skepticism from Gino about betting on the New York Giants.
     • [21:57 - 23:59] NordVPN - A typical VPN advertisement interspersed with jokes about not needing video content due to the show's audio format.

6. In-Depth Tangents and Pop Culture References

   • [27:02 - 35:59] The conversation veers into various pop culture territories, discussing movies like Scott Pilgrim, Green Mile, and fictional scenarios involving celebrities. The hosts engage in playful debates about the accuracy of certain film plots and characters, infusing the dialogue with absurdist humor.

7. Technical Issues and Meta-Narrative Pranks

   • [53:07 - 67:59] The episode takes a surreal turn as Gino experiences what appears to be a lucid dream or alternate reality, complete with fictional characters and self-referential humor. This meta-narrative blurts into the conversation, breaking the fourth wall and blurring the lines between reality and the podcast's fictional universe.

Notable Quotes

• Gino Gabris: "Once we start releasing these episodes, we will have hundred [sic] by three. Episode 377, we should be through the fucking room." [02:58]

• Shafty: "I got the double rotation influence on my hair, which made it nearly impossible to see past my bucket hat." [29:43]

• Gino Gabris: "This is what we need. That's why we got to release these? I need the bread." [05:15]

• Producer Josh: "Now, this is not a video podcast, so I don't know. I don't know if they'll know." [07:04]

• Gino Gabris: "Back to civilization we had before. All right, we're gonna take a quick commercial break." [05:58]

• Shafty: "It's my thing, the makeup's for me." [07:07]

• Gino Gabris: "Is Julie Moore better than all the Japanese guys had swords." [05:53]

• Producer Josh: "It's starting to bother me." [48:40]

Conclusion

Episode #377 of The Gino Lombardo Podcast exemplifies the show's dedication to unrestrained humor, random tangents, and a blend of genuine discussion with fabricated narratives. The hosts navigate through a maze of inside jokes, pop culture references, and absurd scenarios, creating an engaging yet bewildering experience for listeners. Whether debating the practicality of diaper-wearing in the studio or conjuring alternate realities, Gino, Shafty, and Josh deliver a performance that's both entertaining and true to the podcast's chaotic spirit. For those seeking a conventional podcast experience, this episode may prove perplexing, but for fans of irreverent and unhinged humor, it's a treasure trove of amusement.

Additional Resources

• Physical Media Drive: Listeners can access all 30 episodes of The Gino Lombardo Podcast on physical media through [gino gabrius.com](http://gino gabrius.com).
• Merchandise: The show promotes unique merchandise such as "Manchester by the Sea" shirts and double-sided mugs, blending humor with promotional content.

---

Note: This summary captures the essence of episode #377 based on the provided transcript. Given the episode's length and the spontaneous nature of the conversation, not all moments are covered, but key highlights and significant quotes are included to provide a comprehensive overview.

Transcript

[Gino Gabris]

What's up, shitheads? Welcome back to another episode of High and Mighty.

[Josh Richmond]

It's actually a very special episode.

[Gino Gabris]

As you know, I'm from Long island, and, of course, Long Islanders always end.

[Josh Richmond]

Up being fans of me, whether or.

[Gino Gabris]

Not I'm actually that funny or whatever. But today, one of my biggest fans.

[Josh Richmond]

He'S an intern on Comedy Bang Bang. His name is Gino Lombardo.

[Gino Gabris]

Apparently, he nearly died and was brought.

[Josh Richmond]

Back to life or something, I'm not sure.

[Gino Gabris]

But he wanted to share episode 377.

[Josh Richmond]

Of his podcast that he does with his buddy Shafty, So I thought I would play that here in my feed in honor of him. So without further ado, as they say, here's the Gino Lombardo Show.

[Gino Gabris]

The Gino Lombardo Podcast. Hold on, I'm trying to read his handwriting here. The Gino Lombardo Podcast featuring Shafty, episode 377. Okay, here you go, guys. Enjoy. And I guess he also wants me.

[Josh Richmond]

To tell you that if you do.

[Gino Gabris]

Like his show, he has 30 episodes available on a physical media drive that.

[Josh Richmond]

Is a collector's item because the art is so cool, or something like that.

[Gino Gabris]

You can go to gino gabrius.com to check that out. All right, well, enjoy, shitheads.

[Brett Morris]

Broadcasting from the heart of Long Island.

[Gino Gabris]

Hell, yeah.

[Brett Morris]

W L I R 106.9.

[Shafty]

It's the Gino Lombardo Show.

[Gino Gabris]

Cue intro music. Rockville Center, Baldwin, Freeport, Merrick, Belmore, Watau, Seaford, Massapequa Park. Massapequa. Massapequa Park. Amityville, Copec, Lindenhurst and Babylon, baby. That's right. Welcome Back to episode 300. Well, welcome to. It's not back because this is a new episode, but welcome back to the Gino Lombardo Podcast featuring Shafty. But this is episode three.

[Shafty]

What's up, yo?

[Gino Gabris]

Shafty's in the house. You know, he's here trying out another hat as a personality, and this one, I think, is working. Shafty.

[Shafty]

Yeah, it's got the flappers all around.

[Gino Gabris]

All the flappers. I think it's just a bucket hat is what a lot of people call it, but it's got flaps going all.

[Shafty]

The way around it.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, indeed it does. We're having a good time over here on the Gino Lombardo podcast. Episode 377.

[Shafty]

We made it.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, we made it. This is the magic number, episode. A lot of people know this. When Pete Holmes podcast got to this number, this is when his sponsorship went through the fucking roof. You made it weird. Society made it weird. Okay, listen up, folks. I know you're listening because you're tuning in. We getting hundreds of thousand listeners to each episode. Once we start releasing these episodes, we will have hundred. By three. Episode 377, we should be through the fucking room.

[Shafty]

We gotta release these. So, man.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, Shafty, you are right, but I just wanted to make these out there.

[Producer Josh]

No episodes. I'm sorry.

[Gino Gabris]

That's Josh, Producer Josh on the line letting us know we gotta keep banking episodes. He's right. We should, we shouldn't. Most, most famous podcasts don't kick off until they have 500 in the bank. Because you want to just be able to, you know, fucking Gatling gun the audience with. Oh, sorry, I know we're supposed to stop talking about guns. As requested by Gatling guns. Okay, though those are the ones that fucking diced up Tom Cruise in the Last Samurai.

[Shafty]

The Gatling guns are good though.

[Gino Gabris]

Remember when they introduced Gatling guns against the samurais? That shit was fucking wild.

[Shafty]

Crazy, man. Nobody knew. Nobody knew that the swords couldn't stop those kind of bullets or nothing.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, wood armor. Not, not, not going to work too much about Gatling.

[Shafty]

Those guys got Swiss cheese.

[Gino Gabris]

I love that movie. Tom Cruise, the little white guy is better than all the Japanese guys had swords. It's such a fucking. It's such a true story. Episode 377. We'll be right back after this commercial. And once we have ads, we'll be able to put those in there and we'll be.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, we don't have y.

[Shafty]

We don't have ads, so we can't stop and use the bathroom or nothing.

[Gino Gabris]

And she. I mean, we are doing live to tape, so I'd prefer if we just kept it flowing.

[Shafty]

I'm wearing a diaper.

[Gino Gabris]

Shaft, you've been wearing a diaper for the last fucking 400, 277 episodes since episode 100 when we, we both decided who can drink. Want to see who could drink more water?

[Shafty]

And they are plump, these things.

[Gino Gabris]

They're a little bigger than you want.

[Producer Josh]

Definitely for the health of the studio. Better you are wearing a diaper than not wearing a diaper.

[Gino Gabris]

We have discovered, we learned the hard way, little binary testing, that if you piss yourself in just sitting in the chair, it's nasty.

[Shafty]

It's nasty in jeans. The denim doesn't absorb.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, I think it's, you know, and then you end up creating your own little sourdough starter in there with fucking piss and friction and stuff.

[Shafty]

But that's just good.

[Gino Gabris]

Hey, we bake.

[Shafty]

That's what we need. That's why we got to release these? I need the bread. I got a bet on the Yankees.

[Gino Gabris]

That's right. Don't forget, the 27th caller to this episode will receive a free loaf of bread baked by Shafty. Now, of course, Brett, Josh, we gotta. Once the episodes are up and live, we're gonna have to do some of these call in segments separately to make them a little more timely because it's gonn impossible to keep track. And I regret now doing a call in moment in all 377.

[Shafty]

It's confusing even for me.

[Brett Morris]

I do wish we some of the calls. We're going to be on the phone for so long.

[Gino Gabris]

I got lost in the sauce. That's easy to say, the ranch sauce. You know, actually along island, we use blue cheese more frequently with our wings. Call in, let us know. Rancher blue cheese. 27th call against loaf of sourdough bread baked from whatever yeast shaft he's created in his wedding.

[Shafty]

Sound off. You get the bread from the Shafty yeast and trust me, it's gluten free.

[Gino Gabris]

Trust him. Got it. All right, after this commercial break, we're gonna come back with some more Long island news. After this commercial break, we'll be back with some more Long island news.

[Brett Morris]

W L I R 106.9.

[Gino Gabris]

All right, we're back. We.

[Producer Josh]

I'm glad we've taken two commercial breaks in the first five minutes. We're really going to be rolling in the money.

[Shafty]

Josh, I need this money.

[Gino Gabris]

Dress for the job. You want, you know, cut commercials for the ads.

[Shafty]

Why not this hat on?

[Gino Gabris]

The Casper mattress bucket hat.

[Producer Josh]

Now, this is not a video podcast, so I don't know. I don't know if they'll know.

[Shafty]

Oh, no, the makeup's for me. The makeup's my thing.

[Gino Gabris]

You're wearing makeup?

[Shafty]

Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

You look fucking beautiful, Shafty, as always. Yeah.

[Shafty]

Are we back on?

[Gino Gabris]

Well, it's totally up to us, I think. And we're back. I hope you are enjoying your athletic greens or AG1 or whatever kind of ads are possible in 300 and something days from now.

[Shafty]

Gino, I keep fucking up and talking during the ads.

[Gino Gabris]

That's fine. We're gonna leave those in. You're gonn hear you. It's the verite of it all. You know, we're going to hear you talking under the ads and stuff like that. It's time for a little segment we.

[Shafty]

Call I get that verite salsa gives me gas.

[Gino Gabris]

Salsa verite. I've been dunking my burritos in salsa veritas. So Hot. A little everything bagel with cream cheese dipped in a salsa verite. Ooh, girl, that shit is tight.

[Shafty]

Too hard for me.

[Gino Gabris]

Too spicy. Too spicy for Shafty. As we know, he's got the power salad of a child, as we've discussed over the course with all his separate cooking segments that he's done on the show each episode.

[Shafty]

Hot dogs.

[Gino Gabris]

I love that you boil them in bud heavies because it gave it a certain kind of flavor and I liked.

[Shafty]

It boiling in bud. Was Shafty.

[Gino Gabris]

My bud Shafty doing boiling. And buds, buns. Buds and buds. And bugs. Because to be fair, all this cooking in the studio has given us quite the ant issue. Not the kind of hot ones that marry your uncles.

[Shafty]

No, no.

[Brett Morris]

A lot of stomach bugs too.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, yeah, we are. I want everyone back on those. That probiotic regimen that Shafty recommended.

[Shafty]

Yeah, okay. It's yogurt.

[Gino Gabris]

Based on everyone back. I want everyone back consuming massive amounts of yogurt as like Shafty requested. Okay. Just to protect us.

[Shafty]

All right. Let's all yo play and protect ourselves.

[Gino Gabris]

Don't yo play yourself. You yo played yourself. We gotta get DJ Khaled on this app.

[Josh Richmond]

Is he still.

[Gino Gabris]

Is he still a good guy? Is he still important?

[Brett Morris]

He's a good guy.

[Producer Josh]

He's like, he's all right.

[Gino Gabris]

He's all right.

[Brett Morris]

He doesn't need pussy.

[Gino Gabris]

What? Oh, what the fuck?

[Brett Morris]

I mean, that's the one thing.

[Gino Gabris]

DJ Khaled, cool guy, but he doesn't eat pussy. Thanks for the update, Brett. I don't know how you know that, but I'm glad.

[Shafty]

Yeah, we appreciate that hard hitting journalism. You got the photos and everything.

[Brett Morris]

Him not doing, him wagging his face.

[Gino Gabris]

There's just a picture of him on a jet ski saying, look, see, here he is on a jet Ski not eating pussy. I don't understand how that is evidence that he does roof it up for me. Because if I'm on a jet Ski, I'm fucking face deep in the beef. Guaranteed.

[Shafty]

Oh, you gotta chow down on the jet Ski. Chowing down on a sea doo.

[Gino Gabris]

Monkey see do, monkey see do.

[Producer Josh]

Is there a place to get in position on the jet Ski?

[Gino Gabris]

Josh, you prove.

[Shafty]

Are you with me right now?

[Producer Josh]

No.

[Gino Gabris]

Jet Ski. This guy, he's from landlocked ass California. That's why I'm getting reports in my ear that California is not landlocked.

[Shafty]

Well, come on. That's not what we do.

[Gino Gabris]

Let's just. Brett, let's make a note for when this episode comes out that I have to then post an apology that I was incorrect about California rather than fix it now let's just make sure.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, sure. I mean, it is landlocked to the east, I guess.

[Gino Gabris]

Ooh. Okay. Okay. Up for debate. That's a good idea. Maybe I'll have. I got to debate. Maybe we can have gruesome Newsom on. I know he's been on six or seven times.

[Shafty]

You see those videos of those kids picking the landlocks with a big pen? Is stealing bikes.

[Producer Josh]

Circulating.

[Gino Gabris]

We saw that video. You sent it to us in the email. It had forward, forward, forward colon, forward, colon.

[Shafty]

It's crazy.

[Gino Gabris]

On the police question mark.

[Shafty]

Why do we even lock our doors anymore?

[Gino Gabris]

We gotta return to the civilization we had before. All right, we're gonna take a quick commercial break. When we get back, more Long island news.

[Brett Morris]

That was news.

[Shafty]

That was.

[Gino Gabris]

Fuck.

[Shafty]

Brett.

[Gino Gabris]

Brett, you're talking during where the ad supposed to play.

[Josh Richmond]

I know you were.

[Gino Gabris]

You explained this to us a couple hundred episodes ago. That you are gonna do editing so that the commercials will just appear in here, but not over mine and shaft these voices.

[Producer Josh]

Yeah, there's a Casper at playing right now as we're talking.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, okay. I like a mattress now, Josh. Maybe a mattress is a place. You've heard that people eat pussy before. Can you. Can you picture that at least?

[Shafty]

And that's unhealthy.

[Producer Josh]

That seems more normal.

[Shafty]

That's unhealthy.

[Gino Gabris]

That Is it just like this.

[Shafty]

No, you can't do it on a mattress. It all soaks in. Unless you got some sort of top.

[Gino Gabris]

That's right. Casper's making rubbish sheets now for us Chickos promo code.

[Shafty]

Thank you, Casper. Thank you so much, Casper. That's why I'm repping you.

[Gino Gabris]

I only buy mattresses from boy ghosts. All right, let's. Now we're back from ads with some Long island news. All right, this is Bethpage, Farmerdale, Pine Lawn, Wyandanch, Deer Park, Brentwood Central. Isa Ron Conkoma, Medford, Yapank, Riverhead, Mattatuck, Southold, Greenpoint. That's the Ron Konkoma line. I guess you guys weren't ready for that. All right, so in long news, this is actual news that I'm terrified.

[Shafty]

This is good. We're doing this.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, well, we got it. You got to tell people the reality.

[Shafty]

You got to inform people.

[Gino Gabris]

A Long island woman was busted for illegal dentistry operation in her kitchen. A 70 year old woman doing dentist work in the cluttered kitchen of her one bedroom apartment in Hempstead, extracting teeth and possibly performing other complex Dental procedures was arrested and charged with practicing dentistry without a license. Authority said. Now the. This happened to you too with podiatry. Isn't that right, Shafty?

[Shafty]

That's right. I was working on people's feet.

[Gino Gabris]

Non consensual doctors.

[Shafty]

And I was doing it. Yeah, I was doing it in my office, which is also my bedroom.

[Gino Gabris]

And you have an office even though. Even though you used to be a manager of a Jamba Juice?

[Shafty]

Yeah, well, manager is a bit of a stretch. Yeah, I was in charge of the boosters. They. I was the go to guy. Like I kind of handled.

[Gino Gabris]

You're the boost guy. The boost. I was the booster boy and did the water booster.

[Shafty]

Well, that's a big job. Hey Gino, you laugh big. It's serious, man. You can BLEEP that out.

[Gino Gabris]

No, you leave it in. I want people to know it's serious. But bleep the F word for sure.

[Shafty]

You could. No, no, for real. Bleep it out. I don't want anybody to know that. Like it's that big a deal. People come after.

[Gino Gabris]

Do a lot of people quote people jingle all the way when they say I don't want the booster in the Arnold voice to you Because I feel like that's what I would do and I would, I would mean it as a joke. But now I'm seeing how serious it is. Brett, BLEEP all that. BLEEP everything I just said.

[Shafty]

But yeah, I was taking pictures of people's feet. I was photographing feet and charging.

[Gino Gabris]

Classic doctor move. Step one, you get the photo.

[Shafty]

Well, you gotta get the photos.

[Gino Gabris]

You gotta get the befores and after. Yeah, X rays. Yeah, I love it. Good call, Brett. You're the fucking sicko. So has anyone ever done this? Has anyone ever gone to a 70 year old woman's apartment and had dental procedure done in her kitchen of a one bedroom apartment?

[Shafty]

Have your teeth taken out.

[Producer Josh]

Well, this is what I was telling you. We can't do that one dentistry segment on the show that we.

[Gino Gabris]

Well, are you kidding? Because she was supposed to come by. We thought we would say that Gladys Serrano actually, even though she pleaded not guilty, would. Would be a great guest for the pod because she can. Come on, she could do. Because we've been talking about getting veneers because we want to maybe be in a Marvel movie.

[Shafty]

Call him now. Have you had your teeth removed by 70 year old woman? How hard did you get?

[Gino Gabris]

And be honest. You know the Gino Lombardo podcast hard meter on a scale 0 to 53.

[Producer Josh]

Look, it was A little bit hot.

[Gino Gabris]

Right? Next thing.

[Producer Josh]

You can't keep using the studio like that.

[Shafty]

Did you go full 53 when this old lady took your teeth out?

[Gino Gabris]

I was. I was turgid when she was just wiggling my bicuspid. Luckily for me, I'm a. I'm a little bicuspid curious.

[Shafty]

I gotta get these nubs out of my teeth.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, you have some weird little soft.

[Shafty]

I got little nubs. I got the tiniest little teeth.

[Gino Gabris]

Teeth.

[Shafty]

I want to get them all out. I got these tiny little pieces of corn and I want to get them all out.

[Gino Gabris]

Right fucking yellow. Bright yellow teeth. You got like Julianne Moore in the hand that rocks the cradle.

[Shafty]

Yeah. I never smoked a cigarette a day in my life.

[Gino Gabris]

What?

[Shafty]

Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

Why does it look like you got little butter tabs from a restaurant in there? We'll hear more about butter tabs when we get back from this commercial break.

[Brett Morris]

Broadcasting from the heart of Long island.

[Shafty]

It'S the Gino Lombardo show.

[Josh Richmond]

Make your holidays bigger and brighter with Prize Picks.

[Gino Gabris]

Prize Picks is the best place to get real money sports action. With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, Prizepix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 1000 times your cash. A thousand X for you. Real gambling heads run your game all long on Prize Picks, America's number one daily fantasy sports app.

[Josh Richmond]

I like to play in. In these realms, do a little, you know, ooh, who can. Do you think James Cook will Get.

[Gino Gabris]

More than 60 yards?

[Josh Richmond]

Can Joe Burrow pass more than 1.5 touchdowns? All you gotta do is cook up hot takes with your friends and win real money this football season. When you and your crew run your game on Prize Picks, it's the best way to win real money this football season. Prize Picks now offers MasterCard for quick and easy deposits into your accounts this sports season. You can join now because this holiday season, Prize Picks is giving away two free picks in December and they're giving away 30 plus million dollars in rewards during Pixmas. Yeah, it's really simple to use. Once you're all signed up and stuff, it's quite easy. I'm betting on Saquon. Even though he's no longer a giant, I trust that he's going for it. So I'm sure he'll more than one touchdown or I'll have to take a look at what yardage they're offering because I think my guy can do it too. So. And it. Trust me, it hurts. It hurts to bet against, you know, the Giants. My, my team. But with prize picks, you're not. You can bet on players, so you could just root for people. It's so fun. And it makes it a little easier, too. You can just guess on who's going to crush this week. So do yourself a favor. Download the app today and use code H H and M H a n d m to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. So download the app today and use code HAND M H A n D M as an H and M high and mighty to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, run your game. Prize picks, run your game. That's really fun to do. All right, well, get on it and let's see how you do.

[Brett Morris]

106.9.

[Josh Richmond]

Look, the holidays are upon us and we're going to be making some unhealthy choices. Fun, but unhealthy. We're going to get a little nogged up. We're going to maybe go ham on some ham. But one thing you can do for yourself, while it won't solve all your problems of overeating and dealing with your family, you can really help protect yourself with AG1 making sure you get in that daily kick of nutrition, of of prebiotics, probiotics, and assorted vitamins and adaptogens. That is a great way to kick off your day one healthy habit, one healthy step in the morning. It's not gonna undo everything you do, but it's gonna help. Trust me, it's helped my digestion and gut health. My poops are much better since kicking off AG1. And look, I intend to actually lose some weight in 2025. And AG1 is a part of that process. It's while it doesn't cause weight loss, just the idea of and you've heard me say this million. But this is truly what works about it for me is I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do for myself is something healthy. And that's drink AG1. That's get all that nutrition, all that water that goes with that, too. It's a great way to start your day. So once I do that, it's easy to make another healthy step. It's easy to skip sugar in the coffee. It's easy to not get a bacon, egg, and cheese. You start making that healthy choice and then boom, the dominoes start to fall and you start making healthy choice after healthy choice after healthy choice. So start the day with a big old chug of nutritional supplement. AG1 and live your best life. So this new year, try AG1 for yourself. It's the perfect time to start a new healthy habit. And that's why I've been partnering with AG1 for so long. AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $75 gift. When you sign up, you'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2, and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out drinkag1.com to start your year on a healthy note, A healthier note, even healthier note. That's drinkag1.com mighty drink ag1.com mighty d r I n k a g the number1.comm I g h t y avord the Nord. Or in this case, don't avoid the Nord NordVPN gives you safe and private access to the Internet. What's a vpn? You're asking yourself? Well, VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. And how does a VPN work?

[Gino Gabris]

Gabris?

[Josh Richmond]

Duh. By encrypting your connection, a VPN changes your IP address and virtual location while protecting your online activity from spying eyes and keeping your data safe from cyber criminals. There are other ways to use your vpn. You could use it to safely access your favorite streams and other content from home wherever you go. You know, sometimes there's limitations and now you can pay. Hey, I'm home. Let's watch you avoid price discrimination. Hey, let me see if this product is cheaper in another region and you can secure your connection on public WI fi in airports, hotels, cafes, wherever you go. VPN was good for me when I was traveling out of the country. I was able to watch, keep up with my American shows and not feel left in the dust. No more leaving me in the dust. Thank you NordVPN. Did you know they have over 6900 servers in 111 countries? Change your virtual location easily, fast and easy to use. It's Single Click Connect or Enable Auto Connect for automatic protection. Single NordVPN account works on up to 10 devices across all major platforms, so you can protect the whole house. Get an exclusive nordvpn [e-mail] Mighty. It's risk free with Nord's 30 day money back guarantee. That's N o r d v p n.com/m I g H T y Sign up and set your 29 day timer and see if you like NordVPN and if you don't, cancel it. But if you do. Stick with it. Promo code. Mighty W L I R. Hey, baby.

[Gino Gabris]

And we're back. No need to. We explained the butter tabs over the commercial and we'll be able to. We'll be able to drop that in here after. After the commercial, right?

[Brett Morris]

Sure. Sure, that. I mean, we should probably edit it down. It went pretty long.

[Producer Josh]

Brett, you have been editing these episodes, right? I know we've banked 300. I just wanted to make sure you've got, like a head start.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, I mean, I figured you like.

[Gino Gabris]

Let'S record them all and then. Yeah, and I'll edit them all.

[Brett Morris]

I like to just keep a huge pile of work to do.

[Shafty]

And then some of the stuff I said for. I'm good. That's good. Because some of the stuff I said for today is I wanted to have in episode one, it.

[Brett Morris]

All those.

[Gino Gabris]

Can we get the Jet Ski stuff in episode one? Because I think that's going to grab them by the nuts.

[Josh Richmond]

And then which listeners.

[Brett Morris]

Which interviews with former Trump administration officials did you want edited out? This.

[Gino Gabris]

Well, I think. I think when we do beer pong with Steve Bannon, we got to put that in episode three. And then I think. I think the Scott Bannon in three, he's too big of a get to wait till fucking episode 161 when he actually came on Scar Scaramuchi doing auto erotic asphyxiation. I think we keep. We keep where it's at in episode eight.

[Producer Josh]

If he died on the air, that's going to be breaking news for sure.

[Shafty]

But he holds so hard.

[Gino Gabris]

He was full. He was like 52 and a half. He said no.

[Shafty]

He broke the fraking scale.

[Brett Morris]

He died doing what he loved.

[Gino Gabris]

You know, he was listening to In Excess, watching Kung Fu, the Legend Continues on tv. And then joke. God, we've had so much fun here on the Gina Lombardo podcast. Shafty. I'm so happy I met someone like you. Came into my hospital bed after I had severe head trauma from two gunshot wounds from Scott Aukerman. That's all true. If you can, we recorded into how.

[Brett Morris]

You feeling, by the way.

[Shafty]

Yeah, you look good.

[Gino Gabris]

I feel good. I feel good. I got the same plastic surgeon that did that woman whose face was ripped off by Travis the gym. And now I wear this Dr. Moreau like veil.

[Producer Josh]

The veil.

[Gino Gabris]

Really good.

[Producer Josh]

Yeah, you're rocking it.

[Gino Gabris]

I just.

[Shafty]

Jealous.

[Gino Gabris]

I tell chicks I can't take it off because I'm a beekeeper before I go down on them, and then they're okay with that once they find out I'm OIMA Beekeeper. They think I'm like, an actual, like, assassin. Like Jason Statham. Yeah, but I'm a Honey Boy. I'm more of a laboof.

[Josh Richmond]

A Honey Boy, if you know what I mean.

[Gino Gabris]

I've never seen that one. So I'm ref. Oh, it's American Honey. Honey. But Honey Boy was my. Honey Boy was my nickname when I was traveling with the Washington Generals.

[Shafty]

And maybe they could put you in there. A Marvel Universe is Honey Boy, once you get those veneers.

[Gino Gabris]

And me, Honey Boy, once I have the veneers, I could be Honey Boy. I could be in the Transformers universe. It's like the guy who drives Bumblebee. Or I could be in the Marvel Universe. I'm like Candyman. I open my mouth or. And bees come out. Or is that Green Mile? Or is that both?

[Shafty]

I think.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, it's Green Mile for sure.

[Shafty]

Candy Man's in Green Mile.

[Producer Josh]

When he's going. What is in the electric chair?

[Gino Gabris]

Candyman and Green Mile when we're back. Back from this commercial break. All right, we're back. We're talking Candyman. And Was it the Green Mile in the break?

[Shafty]

I don't know.

[Gino Gabris]

Brett. Brett broke. I've never been here. Describing the Green Brett.

[Shafty]

During the break, Brett was crying.

[Gino Gabris]

He was saying, gets me spaghetti.

[Brett Morris]

It gets me every time.

[Gino Gabris]

Get an eight. Mile and Green Mile.

[Shafty]

No, that's.

[Gino Gabris]

Which is the one that has M's.

[Shafty]

From the Green Miles.

[Producer Josh]

Yeah, it's from the other side of the Green.

[Shafty]

The Green M. M's from the 80s from Green Mile.

[Gino Gabris]

They electrocute the Green Mile and everyone gets wet.

[Shafty]

I'm 53 just talking about her.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, she. She is abusing. She's got a fucking body on her up there with Elastigirl in animated pussy. I'd love to grab. Sorry, let's take that again. Animated pussy I'd love to grab.

[Josh Richmond]

There we go.

[Gino Gabris]

Daddy laughed through that.

[Shafty]

Okay. Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

Better than not funny. No. Yeah. Hey, at least we don't have a president that grabs him by the pussy anymore.

[Josh Richmond]

Right?

[Gino Gabris]

What year is this episode going to come out in?

[Brett Morris]

Oh, this will be.

[Gino Gabris]

We're doing three. We're dropping three a day.

[Brett Morris]

I think this is 28, right?

[Shafty]

28. Okay.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, we'll start releasing him on January 1, 2020. Just so the last statement I said is true.

[Producer Josh]

Yeah. Move that Back to episode one, if you could, and then save all this for 1-1-20, 28.

[Shafty]

Don't forget getting ready for the Poi Young Summer Games.

[Gino Gabris]

You're competing this year, right, Shafty, you said you finally mastered the pole vault?

[Shafty]

Yeah, I'm finally master the pole.

[Gino Gabris]

I knew it was. There he is. There he is.

[Shafty]

You just got shafted.

[Gino Gabris]

Poles got shaft. So you know Shafty knows what he's doing when he grabs that pole. I know we don't do a video podcast because those are not going to stick around and be successful at all. So we just wanted to do audio. But Shafty, you look great.

[Josh Richmond]

He.

[Gino Gabris]

He's spinning on a pole that he has set up in. In the studio here. He's whipping around. This shit is fucking. This is athleticism. This is athleticism. Shafty.

[Shafty]

Spinning on a pole. And that's why I like the bucket hat.

[Gino Gabris]

Yup.

[Shafty]

Cause the same amount of.

[Gino Gabris]

You don't even have to explain the connection. We all see, we all understand why the bucket hat fucking rips when you're on the pole. Because then you could just see the word Casper no matter where how much you're spinning. And then you're also. You're protected from the sun on the back of your nec. Your ears and on the front. In case you're pulling in the sun. Might as well be pulling in the sun. Damn. Damn it. Ah. Brett, drop that in here. Boom shakalaka. There we go. Boom.

[Producer Josh]

Something to say. Rip the fleet singer from Smash Mouth.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh my God. Right? Yes.

[Shafty]

Where?

[Gino Gabris]

He dead? Yeah, he was killed. He pulled. Pulled the cops gun out of his holster at a music festival. Blew his own. He Manchester by the Z himself. But he pulled it off.

[Producer Josh]

Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

A successful man, it's hard to pull.

[Shafty]

Off, but he did it.

[Gino Gabris]

He knew to flip to safety. Unlike Casey Affleck, he didn't.

[Josh Richmond]

He didn't flick that safety.

[Shafty]

If you want a Manchester by the seat, you flick the safety.

[Gino Gabris]

Yes, that's the old. The old device.

[Shafty]

If I want a Manchester by the Sea, I gotta flick the safety.

[Gino Gabris]

Now, of course. Gino.gabris.com if you want to purchase our if youf Want a Manchester by the Sea shirts, you just gotta head there. The only URL available was from some dumpy ass Long island comedian named Gabris. So we got geno.gabris.com is the only Long Island URL that exists. So you can head there and you can get our Manchester by the Sea shirt. That's says you. You heard the expression. You don't have to make me remember it. I can read it if I want.

[Shafty]

But you heard it selling.

[Producer Josh]

It's now 2021. We have over 250 pieces of merchant gno.capers.com we got some old Melissa by.

[Shafty]

The Sea shirts that did not sell on sale. Now.

[Brett Morris]

They'Ve been on sale for a couple years.

[Gino Gabris]

She sells seashells by the seashells. She gets molested.

[Producer Josh]

These are 90% off if you buy them.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, they are. They are batago, which is buy three, get one free.

[Shafty]

So Patago now, no code necessary.

[Gino Gabris]

Josh had mentioned it, but we have over 200 shirts for sale. 60 different shapes of mugs, all with the same Gino Lombardo podcast logo on it. We have the double sided dildo, the one sided dildo, the three sided dildo, and then we have the Shafty, the full Shafty experience, which is the Shafty Quattro. Much like razors, we know the more the better. So we keep adding fucking dicks to our dildos.

[Producer Josh]

Is it shaped? It's shaped like a plus side, yes. Ass to ass to ass.

[Gino Gabris]

Or as Shafty prefers, it's shaped like the Glaive from Cross.

[Shafty]

Okay. You can put a bucket hat on it. It's like, I'm there with you.

[Gino Gabris]

You and three friends can back your asses up to the Shafty Quadro when it comes with a little bucket hat on it. And when you are, as Josh referred to it, asked to ask, to ask to ask with your co workers, you can have a good laugh. This guy doesn't know about eating pussy on a jet ski, but he understands how the Quattro will.

[Producer Josh]

Yeah, we've been making 300 episodes. I'm starting to go lose my mind a little bit.

[Gino Gabris]

That makes one of us. The rest of us are doing okay. Brett, how are the luffs? I'm getting some weird readings on the luffs over here.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, what are you seeing? I'm seeing negative 15 all around.

[Gino Gabris]

Shit. I'm getting. Mine are pinging up to a negative 11.

[Shafty]

Maybe it's aliens or something.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, I haven't even thought of that. Maybe it's aliens.

[Brett Morris]

Okay, yeah, you suggest that every time, but it doesn't seem like it checks out. Out.

[Shafty]

UFOs, UAWs, UAPs.

[Brett Morris]

UAPs. UAPs, USOs. Those come from the ocean.

[Gino Gabris]

Hey, easy. I been grow. I grew. I got grown up. Growing up, everyone said, UAPs wet ass because I was on the swim team, but I was a wet. You know, they said, get me a bucket and a whop, and they meant me like a young Italian boy. I was a WAP. WAP without papers.

[Brett Morris]

Well, we're.

[Gino Gabris]

Of course. It's episode 377 of the Gino Lombardo podcast. Here with featuring Shafty. And we are making up new slurs as always. Put it in the. Put it in the slur dictionary.

[Producer Josh]

Put it in episode one.

[Gino Gabris]

Drop this.

[Shafty]

Drop this in one.

[Gino Gabris]

Episode one is looking like it's going to be about 71 hours long.

[Shafty]

Episodes one's going to be a fat boy.

[Gino Gabris]

Fat boy on it. That's it. Do try it.

[Shafty]

You live a little bit longer.

[Gino Gabris]

All right, now let's play a full song. We don't have the licensing for. They're all wasted. All right. Welcome back. That was Baba O'Reilly.

[Shafty]

I love that man.

[Gino Gabris]

Both were crying all the way through this. Yes, it is the csi.

[Shafty]

Cbs.

[Gino Gabris]

It reminded me of all my favorite procedurals. That and you know, it is a teenage wasteland out there.

[Shafty]

Yeah. Bugs. Life.

[Gino Gabris]

I'm an ants guy, you know that. And not the hot kind that marry your uncle. I'm talking on ants with a Z. Because that Woody Allen guy can do no wrong. No.

[Shafty]

Funny as hell. And as funny as he is. Incredible jazz musician.

[Gino Gabris]

Busy guy. He's writing in. The fuck he can do. He could do it all.

[Shafty]

Photographer.

[Gino Gabris]

Great photography. Beautiful shots.

[Shafty]

Photography.

[Gino Gabris]

I only listen to his jazz clarinet stuff, his solo stuff. I can't even deal when there's other instruments muddying it up for me. It's just. That's. That's the good shit right there. Good family music.

[Shafty]

No, one of my boys, he'll scrub all the other stuff out of his records. You just get is him.

[Gino Gabris]

Now you keep referring Shafter. You say you have one of my boys. You see, I can't tell if you mean because you have a dozen sons. Right. This is the one that's the music expert.

[Shafty]

This guy's a music wizard.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, right. All of your sons are assorted.

[Shafty]

They're all into dark arts. Sorcery, dark arts. I don't know. They don't get it from me.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, well, is it possible that their mother is. Was a sorceress? She was a wicked, wicked witch. And a wist.

[Producer Josh]

I've never seen you interact with any of your dozen sons. I've actually never seen you outside of this room.

[Gino Gabris]

That's weird.

[Shafty]

We gotta have a barbecue.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, we should have. I think we should have an episode 400 rap party. So in 23 after we get another 23 in the can or so. And we're doing six a day, right, Brett? We're still on schedule to do six a day for the next.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, I mean, I think we can relax that schedule a bit, but I'm down.

[Gino Gabris]

I know you guys get paid episodically. So we're all okay pushing the fucking limits here. I am in fucking debt. But once the AG1 and Casper money and the Sea do money and the Baba O'Reilly ass cap residuals all start pouring in, I'm banking on it.

[Producer Josh]

I've not been paid for any of these 300 episodes.

[Gino Gabris]

I need that cheddar needs that cheddar needs that bread to make himself a sandwich. That is better. All right, folks, More after this commercial break. It's the Gino Lombardo Show. Sound speeds. Hey, how's it going? It's Gino Lombardo, Scotty's intern over here. Thank you for listening. But in the meantime, if you want some physical media, might I Recommend going to geno.gabris.com where you can get all 30 episodes as a little mini cassette tape USB drive with original art from a Long island artist named Ian Cinco. All your favorite guests from all around the podcasting and Long island and comedy world, real and fake, all come by for a little nibble at the teat of Gino Lombardo. Get yourself the whole [e-mail] hopefully shipping quickly. Get on board. And we're back. January, February, March, April, May. We'll be gone till November. And then in November we'll be releasing releasing three episodes a day for over 150 days in a row.

[Shafty]

Hold on to your butts.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, yeah, Sam Jackson, get these motherfucking dinosaurs out of my motherfucking park. That's if I had one wish. If a genie gave me one wish and I. Because if he gave me three, I'd say, I only need one. He goes, well, I'll donate you two to charity. You're a good guy. And then I would donate to wishes.

[Shafty]

To anyone fuck with you with the.

[Gino Gabris]

No. He would know at that point that this is not going to be a month.

[Shafty]

I'm not fuck with this guy.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah. Especially once I say my one wish is I want to be able to edit Sam Jackson into Jurassic park saying get these motherfucking dinosaurs out of my mother fucking park. At the end, holding a fucking raptor head.

[Shafty]

Okay, my wish, I'm going to edit the dinosaurs into Die Hard with a vengeance.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, yeah, I like that. I like that.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

I hate dinos.

[Shafty]

I hate dinos. He's gotta walk through Jurassic park with the sign that says I hate dinos. And they're all like, this guy.

[Gino Gabris]

How is he gonna get out of that?

[Shafty]

This guy's like raptors and they're all.

[Gino Gabris]

Looking at them like. But we're raptors. Yeah.

[Shafty]

He's doing double, triple. Thanks.

[Gino Gabris]

All right, you need to pour this amber with DNA in it into this jug to get one gallon of amber DNA. And then you put the two gallons in. I can't keep track. I went to see Die Hard with a Vengeance in the theater. It was playing at a rep theater here in.

[Josh Richmond]

Wherever.

[Gino Gabris]

Long Island. On Long Island.

[Shafty]

How many reps you get in?

[Gino Gabris]

Well, I was doing light volume because I'm doing Wendler. Five, three, one. So I was on. I was on my recovery day. So I just. I like three sets of 20 at 115 on the bench press and then 65 pounds on the squat. Whatever. The rep theater was great. And for people who don't know, on Long island, there are. You can go see a movie that has lift the weights at them.

[Shafty]

They got full gyms.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, I did.

[Shafty]

I watched Scarface running.

[Gino Gabris]

Playing Scarface Married to the Mob. Billy Joel Live at Shea Stadium. All Alec Baldwin's movies showing a low light reel from the film Ruby.

[Shafty]

Interesting stuff in there, man.

[Gino Gabris]

The lighting. The lighting gets bad in the third act of that movie.

[Shafty]

Can't tell what's going on. Weird choice. The special effects is crazy.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah.

[Producer Josh]

Very realistic.

[Gino Gabris]

It's a heavy, heavier movie than I thought. You know, I went to the premiere party. It was a little more. Something solemn than you think it's gonna be. It was in Alec Baldwin's backyard. Alec Baldwin's mom's backyard in Massapequa.

[Josh Richmond]

It was fun, man.

[Gino Gabris]

Good flick.

[Josh Richmond]

Good flick.

[Shafty]

The shadow.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, the shadow himself, baby.

[Shafty]

The shell knows.

[Gino Gabris]

All right, looks like. All right. Brad, are you getting this again? I'm. I'm hitting luffs up to negative 9 now.

[Josh Richmond]

Is that gonna be an issue?

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, something's fritzing my board. I got gremlins in there.

[Shafty]

And the Martians.

[Gino Gabris]

All right, all right. Now it's. You know what planet these aliens are from? The. The aliens are you using? Are you using? Marsh, you don't have to be one of your sons. A whiz kid.

[Shafty]

No, no, you don't have to be a wizard kid to know that I.

[Gino Gabris]

Haven'T watched one episode of the Bravo show that they made about your family. Wizard kids. They're doing great. He's a radio co host and he's got 12 dark arts practicing sons.

[Shafty]

We're doing better than the family Stone.

[Gino Gabris]

Right?

[Shafty]

The family Stallone. I mean.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, that's the one, right? Because Sylvester Stallone, he. He recently got a paper cut on the vein on his forearm, and he nearly bled out as over 12 pints of blood was able gush out of that fully vascular vein cluster on his forearm. He was doing hammer curls at his. At the premiere of his new movie.

[Shafty]

I'm trying to get a bigger vein cluster.

[Gino Gabris]

I know. It's working. You're really getting it. I think your vascularity is through the roof. You still doing the apple cider vinegar every morning?

[Shafty]

Yeah. I inject some apple cider vinegar, and, you know, I'm boiling needles. Injecting apple cider vinegar, and I think the vein cluster. Cluster.

[Gino Gabris]

You're boiling your needles in Budweiser. In bud heavies.

[Shafty]

Boiling my needles in bud. Injecting the cluster. And I think it offsets my teeth.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, I think it draws. It definitely draws attention away from, like, the tiny, mushy candy corn teeth you have and up to that huge vein cluster that's in the middle of your forehead.

[Brett Morris]

The more you spin, it's making me nervous. Like that. That vein cluster that.

[Gino Gabris]

It's gonna pop. Freaking pulsing.

[Shafty]

It adds. Yeah, it adds some stress.

[Gino Gabris]

Hopefully.

[Shafty]

Marvel. People don't mind.

[Gino Gabris]

I don't think they do.

[Shafty]

They.

[Gino Gabris]

They.

[Shafty]

I want to get cast as Quasar.

[Gino Gabris]

In the Adam Warlock movie.

[Shafty]

Cast is Quasar.

[Gino Gabris]

You want to be one of the Celestials.

[Shafty]

Hashtag shafty for Quasar.

[Gino Gabris]

You don't frequently get to see centrifugal force happening inside someone's forehead as you keep. I would slow down the spinning the b. Even the bucket hat's not covering up that huge. I can see your heartbeat in your forehead.

[Shafty]

Yeah, my boys love it. They love it. They say it's necessary. They're painting pentagrams underneath me.

[Gino Gabris]

All right, we'll be right back after this commercial break. I gotta change diapies.

[Shafty]

You change them.

[Gino Gabris]

You have to. Well, I went. You don't have to.

[Producer Josh]

Please change it.

[Gino Gabris]

You could do a couple of number ones in, but once you do a number two, it's just brutal to sit in there. Okay. I stacked two back to back. I linked two of them together.

[Shafty]

This looks bad.

[Gino Gabris]

It's kind of coming out the legs and up the back.

[Shafty]

Peanut butter and jam in mine.

[Gino Gabris]

God knows what the jam is.

[Shafty]

I got. I don't want to know.

[Gino Gabris]

Blood in my stool. Looks like I got a little stool in my blood.

[Josh Richmond]

It's chunky jam.

[Shafty]

Chunky jam.

[Producer Josh]

For God's sakes. Please change that.

[Brett Morris]

Plotting.

[Gino Gabris]

It's like a strawberry vein cluster in the. In the middle of a hazelnut peanut butter festival.

[Shafty]

I heard. I've heard about chunky peanut butter but chunky jam.

[Gino Gabris]

Play. Hey, dj, play us a chunky Jam. All right. That was Baba O'Reilly by the.

[Producer Josh]

You played it twice. The licensing fees are going to kill us. We're making nobody on this show yet.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, also.

[Brett Morris]

Also, you said earlier that you seem to think you'll make money off of Baba O'Reilly.

[Shafty]

Look at the ass cap.

[Gino Gabris]

ASCAP, Matt Besser, Amy Paula, Matt Walsh, and Ian Roberts as Cap. We'll get that money. Get that bag. Play Sunday nights. Second show's free. Wait in line on 26th Street. All right, more ads after this one of 6.9. We're back. Holy shit. We need to get ads. We got.

[Shafty]

We got a lot of space.

[Producer Josh]

Plenty of space for us. Available sponsors, if you're listening. Whenever you hear this, we got space.

[Gino Gabris]

And as a matter of fact, the more I think about it, I think the feed that we're hosting this in there may actually be a real attitude.

[Shafty]

That's why we got so many aliens around. There's so much space.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, no, don't get us started on your alien immigration views. We got a lot. Well, we will get a lot of letters when that episode airs. When you went on that diatribe about aliens taking American jobs.

[Shafty]

Jobs.

[Gino Gabris]

You still think the guy at Jamba Juice who got your job is. Is an alien?

[Shafty]

Yeah, he's extraterrestrial. He's doing all sorts of weird alien reading my dreams.

[Gino Gabris]

He's reading you still. You're still only having pros dreams, right? Where it's just words?

[Shafty]

That's right. Was very rare. Normally, the language center is on the other side of the brain, according to Batman, the animated theories.

[Brett Morris]

That's where I learned that, too.

[Shafty]

We all did.

[Gino Gabris]

We watched that together at our slumber party to celebrate episode 100 finishing, we all had a slumber party at Josh's house. And it was a real treat. And Josh, thank you so much. I didn't realize how much I wanted to watch T back or B TAs.

[Shafty]

Thanks for putting those warm bowls for my hands out.

[Brett Morris]

Your house is kind of weird, but.

[Producer Josh]

You still owe me a lot of damages. But it's okay. We.

[Gino Gabris]

You know, it was once the month. Once the ad money comes in, we'll obviously be able to reimburse you off the top for. I guess Sheetrock is edible. And now we know that about. We're sorry.

[Producer Josh]

Honestly, I'm having a lot of trouble even visualizing what my own house looks like. I'm having a lot of trouble remembering anything except for this stupid starting it's starting to bother me.

[Gino Gabris]

That's what I like to hear. That's work. This is us. We're pouring our fucking hearts and souls into this show. And the listeners are gonna fucking get reap the benefits because we are fucking ripping out wonderful content fucking day after day. And I also have almost no memories outside of this studio. But that's. That's the American dream, right? Is you work so much that you don't have personal. Yeah, hustle culture, grindset mindset.

[Producer Josh]

I guess I got that grindset mindset.

[Shafty]

We're wrecking you.

[Gino Gabris]

Okay. You seem to be glitching out a little bit over there live somehow. You're right, Shafty.

[Shafty]

Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

All right. Spinning faster than I ever thought on that phone.

[Shafty]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's Rick. Record, record.

[Gino Gabris]

Grind set, grind set. Mindset. That's right, Shafty. We're out here every fucking day, three times a day, 9am Eastern, Eastern, 12pm Pacific, and then again 3pm Central. We have episodes that are dropping one after the other. You can. We are literally pounding you with episodes. That's right. You're getting fucking railed with the Gino Lombardo podcast feature in Shafty. You're getting absolutely fucking Eiffel towered by Shafty. Or eaten out. You get eaten out both sides. If you eat out a chick's mouth, they swear it's called kissing. But I. I'm there to get them.

[Shafty]

Off I go oral mout.

[Brett Morris]

Mouth still called eating ass.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, I eat ass, I eat pussy, and I eat mouth.

[Shafty]

Hey, do you do oral mouth to mouth on a first date?

[Gino Gabris]

You want to do a little oral to oral, baby? Remember when everyone had those hats that just had college teams on them? Like Cox? I had an Oral Roberts hat that just said oral. I was 14, and I didn't even really know what it meant, but I wore it to school.

[Shafty]

That's cool, man. Going school is good.

[Gino Gabris]

All right, that's great. Okay. And we just gotta do a quick tribute moment.

[Josh Richmond]

This is a.

[Gino Gabris]

In memorial.

[Shafty]

Okay. Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

Just in case Eddie Murphy has died at this point by the time this episode comes out, we should do an in memoriam for Long island legend Eddie Murphy. All right.

[Shafty]

Golden Child.

[Brett Morris]

I don't think we should play that. That clip from Delirious. I feel like, what if Mr. T.

[Gino Gabris]

Is an F word? Slur the name of the track that is on the album. Yeah. Not just the content.

[Brett Morris]

Why you always play that one.

[Gino Gabris]

It's hilarious. What if Mr. T. Rip. Mr. T. Rip Eddie Murphy, Rip. You could both killed by Jerry Seinfeld.

[Shafty]

You could be funny back then.

[Gino Gabris]

Back when humor was allowed.

[Shafty]

Back when we were allowed to be funny.

[Gino Gabris]

Back when you could jerk off in front of whoever you wanted to, whether they were employee, a friend, or someone who was kind of just trapped in.

[Josh Richmond]

Your room because you were able to.

[Gino Gabris]

Lock the door from the outside.

[Producer Josh]

That's Seinfeld Avenger. On behalf of comedy and God bless.

[Gino Gabris]

Him, thank you, Seinfeld, for taking out Eddie Murphy.

[Shafty]

Okay, nobody's gonna fuck with the B movie again. You gotta get my boy Geno in there. He's the B boy.

[Gino Gabris]

Honey boy, Honey boy has arrived. Looking to get in the B movie. Hey, and if you know you're making a sequel, call it the C movie. Make it about content and in the British Australian way where you're allowed to say it. You know, where it's fun and cheeky and it's not a disgusting slur.

[Shafty]

Cheeky monkey.

[Gino Gabris]

Cheeky Monkey. Okay, yeah, I noticed you wrote Cheeky Monkey on the wall like 40 times behind you. Does that mean anything to you? Cheeky monkey's a good boy. Cheeky monkey's a bad boy.

[Shafty]

He's a good boy. It's crazy.

[Gino Gabris]

The lofts are up to negative seven. I'm concerned, Brett. Shouldn't they be sitting at like negative 15?

[Producer Josh]

Yeah.

[Brett Morris]

You're not looking so great.

[Gino Gabris]

The audio. Is this gonna be in the final product? You think? I can't detect it here in my headphones. I know you're the pro, Josh. You get Shafty. Shafty, what about you? You getting anything?

[Shafty]

I'm just getting, I think, ones and zeros. Probably from Saddle Lights.

[Gino Gabris]

Well, I don't understand that. I'm non binary, so I'm not sure.

[Producer Josh]

How long I've been here. I don't remember when I was born.

[Gino Gabris]

What? Yeah, it was January 31st, though then we do remember. For some reason, that date stands out in my head. All right. Phil Collins birthday.

[Shafty]

Oh, man, the Tawan soundtrack.

[Brett Morris]

Phil Collins is still alive?

[Gino Gabris]

Sure. Oh, he has to be. If he's not, we're fucked. He's the fucking constant. He's our kind. He's that. He's our Penny. Our Desmond.

[Shafty]

Yeah, we need him.

[Producer Josh]

We need a Nexus being.

[Shafty]

Imagine the world with an empty Collins.

[Gino Gabris]

Shafty. I'm getting a little static.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, is the optimist.

[Gino Gabris]

Shafty, I'm getting a little like, static or feedback on. On. On your microphone. Are you picking this up? Brett? I'm. My. My meters are all over the place. My levels are awful.

[Brett Morris]

I got some crazy ass levels Yeah, I am having.

[Shafty]

What's going on.

[Brett Morris]

And the cheeky monkey writing is. Is kind of like with my head.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah. It's getting me a little dizzy reading the. All this. The. The cheeky monkey phrasing over and over.

[Shafty]

At least you can read it.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, that's true. It is.

[Shafty]

You know, you're not in a dream state.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, yeah, right. Because the left brain, like. Like Batman.

[Shafty]

We all know from Batman that we.

[Gino Gabris]

Watched at Josh's sleepover, which none of us could remember what his house looked like, but we remembered. We learned that from.

[Shafty]

No. Remember I lost my rat.

[Brett Morris]

Are you hearing Woody Allen playing clarinet?

[Gino Gabris]

I. I'm hearing my son.

[Shafty]

My son isolates it.

[Gino Gabris]

He's really good. See, we were right. He's really, really good.

[Producer Josh]

He is really good and thankful. Totally exonerated.

[Shafty]

Talented.

[Brett Morris]

And he's still alive.

[Shafty]

Exonerated.

[Brett Morris]

Just running scales.

[Gino Gabris]

Wow. He's really good. You think he can make a movie but. And take a photo, but the guy's got a skill set.

[Shafty]

Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

Jack of all trades, master of none. Music. Brett.

[Shafty]

But, like, the scales are the key to everything.

[Brett Morris]

That's true.

[Gino Gabris]

Brett, what do you know about music? Not much. Right? Screw it. We're just going to talk about music now. Yeah, right.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, I do. I'm all ear. You know?

[Gino Gabris]

God, I'm. I feel radicalized by that clarinet soundtrack. I want to. I want my stepdaughter. My adopted stepdaughter, Woody Allen. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's so. He's an inspiration to us here at the Gino Lombard. Rob put that in the first episode. Brett, pull that. Isolate me saying that.

[Brett Morris]

Oh, you want to open with that?

[Gino Gabris]

We want to open with the Gino and Barto podcast are huge fans of Woody Allen.

[Shafty]

It's me. Clarinet's getting me mesmerized.

[Josh Richmond]

Yeah.

[Producer Josh]

It's doing, like, close encounter stuff to me. It's. It's activating something. It's making me want to build a tower.

[Gino Gabris]

See, they're here.

[Shafty]

Josh knows.

[Gino Gabris]

Who's that? Oh.

[Shafty]

He'S.

[Gino Gabris]

Something's happening to me. I already take two shits today, and I feel like I gotta take a third. What the fuck is going on here?

[Shafty]

Rule of threes.

[Gino Gabris]

I feel insane. Whoa. Did anyone else just see that? For a brief moment. For a brief moment, I felt like someone was, like, banging on a glass enclosure that I was in. And I felt like I was some sort of animal, like a scorpion in a tank, and someone was trying to agitate me or wake me up or something like that. What is it? What the fuck is going on? What's fucking going on? Are you feeling this? Josh? What's happening, Josh? I'm not sure.

[Producer Josh]

I'm not sure if I'm a person anymore.

[Gino Gabris]

Honestly, I've never felt like a person. More than ever before.

[Shafty]

Just go to sleep, Gino.

[Gino Gabris]

I was having the craziest dream. Oh, my God. It's still happening. I'm in it. Wait, did I just fall asleep while we were recording? Who did this to me? What the fuck is going on? Shaft. Shafty. Shafty, what's happening? Your teeth, they're normal. You have normal teeth. Your veins, they're normal.

[Shafty]

Yeah, it's me.

[Gino Gabris]

Just a regular hat.

[Shafty]

It's me, Don Donovan.

[Gino Gabris]

No. You're kidding. No. Shafty, We've been through so much together, we forgot he doesn't exist. What?

[Shafty]

He's a program I put in your head, Gino.

[Gino Gabris]

Wait, I'm in my own head right now?

[Shafty]

That's. That's right.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, you're in it. That's why Josh and Brett are such awkward encounters. Like, this is why they're so weird to be around right now. Because they are just.

[Shafty]

No, they're here too.

[Brett Morris]

We're weird to be around. You're in a vat of, like, goop right now.

[Gino Gabris]

We are all in vats of goop. Is that what you're telling me?

[Shafty]

You are. You're just in a bat of goop.

[Gino Gabris]

And you're not talking about this diaper? This. This flooded diaper I'm sitting in is not what you're talking about.

[Producer Josh]

It looks like some kind of chunky jam.

[Shafty]

No, no, no. The diaper's phone had you.

[Gino Gabris]

Hey, dj, play that chunky jam. Yeah.

[Shafty]

You already made that joke.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, I farted.

[Shafty]

No, that's Woody Allen.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, no. Woody Allen fought it. It smells like overstepping boundaries big time. Are you serious? Shafty, we've been through so much together and he's not real. None of this is real. I don't have 370 episodes in the can. I was feeling so fucking amazing that I did.

[Shafty]

You almost. You died, Gino. And I felt bad about it. So we saved your life, we put you in this tank and we allowed you to create your own universe. But continue to record.

[Gino Gabris]

But all this just as a prank, or are you going to let the episodes come out? Don Donovan, I don't understand your plan. I know. I pretty much.

[Shafty]

Yes. It's on me to figure out your plan.

[Gino Gabris]

Plan makes no sense. But that's crazy, because I have so many memories of Shaft, Shafty and I kissed that one time. And we had to have like a long discussion about how that was an overstepping of our friendship. And then we. We backed down. But it's always been tense between us.

[Shafty]

You did all of this, Gino.

[Gino Gabris]

This is all in my head.

[Shafty]

And I. I knew when you mentioned your love of Woody Allen, you would be strong enough to be released from pod.

[Gino Gabris]

You're welcoming me back into society?

[Shafty]

That's right. You've rehabbed enough.

[Gino Gabris]

I'm back.

[Shafty]

It's like one of the tanks that. The fucking back. The Boba Fett has a back to tank.

[Brett Morris]

Yeah, yeah, back to.

[Gino Gabris]

Back that tank up.

[Shafty]

Back that tank up, you fucking dumb asshole.

[Producer Josh]

So you gave me crazy just to pull a prank on someone else?

[Gino Gabris]

You resurrected me just to do one more prank? Is that what I'm trying to understand? Don, you were able to save my. I'm remembering my death now. I remember putting Scott Aukerman's long pistol in my mouth in front of Jason Manzoukas, an Italian woman, O.J. simpson, and I think a Crang or Watto type guy. I'm remembering it. Imogene Heap was there and I got my fucking head blown off. How did you do this, Don? Or Shafty, whoever you are.

[Shafty]

Shaft, these just an illusion.

[Gino Gabris]

Wait, so you made a reality. You made a. Part of the illusion was you made a reality show that had 75 episodes of Shafty and the Whiz K. Yeah, that's right. I fucking love that.

[Shafty]

I did a deal with Bravo. It's funding.

[Gino Gabris]

Bravo's involved. I knew it. Those sick fucks. Ever since they took Top Chef off the air, I knew I was fucked. I knew they were coming from my head. As soon as I backed up, I backed on Tom Colicchio so hard I went full fucking Padma.

[Producer Josh]

Oh yeah. Just notice this Tank has has Bravo branding all over it.

[Shafty]

Yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

Wait a waking up. I'm. Because I'm sensing the. I was able to pull that.

[Shafty]

That's not supposed to come out like that.

[Brett Morris]

What is supposed to be that deep down your throat?

[Shafty]

It's not supposed to go in and.

[Gino Gabris]

Out like that as. As. Weirdly enough, as I said at the episode of three, at the end of episode 310 of the Gino Lombardo show, now available on physical media. Gino.gamers.com I said I have no gag reflex. And everyone asks why did you mention that? And I guess it comes into play.

[Shafty]

Here in it all makes sense.

[Brett Morris]

Did the Washington Generals teach you that?

[Gino Gabris]

The Washington Generals taught me how to suck dick because they. They. That was what they started to do towards the end was that the Harlem Globetrotters would trick them into sucking their dick and then just be like, just kidding. We gotta play basketball. Things escalated big time towards the end of the world. I mean, the world didn't end, but it ended for me. And now it's me, Josh, Brett, and I guess Don Donovan sitting here in waist deep goo.

[Shafty]

Gotcha.

[Brett Morris]

I guess I'm here.

[Gino Gabris]

Wait, I'm sorry. Did you put yourself in the goo for this this whole time too? And he got him.

[Shafty]

He can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

[Gino Gabris]

That. I understand that expression, but when it's in reference to breaking your own egg. In this case. In this case, you were in the goo with us for way too long.

[Shafty]

And that. Yes, we all have super long beards.

[Gino Gabris]

Got gooed up beards.

[Shafty]

I got gooed up.

[Gino Gabris]

I feel like I just did cunning on a jet ski sea. Do we shorten Cunningus to cunning these days? I don't. I don't remember anymore.

[Shafty]

All those episodes were a blur now.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah, we had Bernie Sanders followed by Trump, followed by Theo Vaughn on I thought we were gonn be the next big. I thought we were doing boku numbers.

[Josh Richmond]

God damn it.

[Shafty]

Sorry. It was all inside your head.

[Gino Gabris]

And what's this inside the tub with me? It seems to be some sort of cassette tape, but it's not really. As I open it, I realize it's a USB drive. It says it's the Gino Lombardo show.

[Brett Morris]

Physical media, all 30 episodes old style USB.

[Producer Josh]

Yeah, it's USB 2.0.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah.

[Shafty]

So even the. So it's too forms of dead.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah. Physical. It's almost.

[Josh Richmond]

It's.

[Gino Gabris]

It's honestly almost impossible to listen to. But still easier than when it was on Stitcher Premium.

[Shafty]

Probably easier as an actual cassette.

[Gino Gabris]

Yeah. Would be better if I sent you cassette Would be easier to play. But no. @gino. Gabriel Stockholm, we're selling all 30 episodes of the Gino Lombardo show to help raise money to rebuild a real studio. That and get Josh and Brett all the back money I owe them. Unless that was happening inside of the Matrix world.

[Josh Richmond]

We were in the.

[Gino Gabris]

The goo world. Goo's gone wild.

[Brett Morris]

We still do owe money for Bob O'Reilly. Even though that was in the goo.

[Shafty]

World that killed us. That made the prank pretty hard. The Bob O'Reilly stuff. I didn't.

[Gino Gabris]

Inside the Goo. These. These fucking music lawyers are crazy. Lars Ulrich has set a bad precedent. He people inside the Goo fucking charging you as cap money.

[Producer Josh]

The licensing rates are actually higher inside the goo.

[Gino Gabris]

What? Yeah, it's nice to hear that they're more favorable to artists, which is a good thing, I guess, if you're an artist, but a bad thing if you're a pot up and coming podcast that wants to play Bob O'Reilly twice in your episode 377. We didn't even get to our guests. We're gonna have DJ Khaled in and force him to eat pussy at gunpoint.

[Shafty]

Yeah, sorry.

[Gino Gabris]

Woman was into it. To be fair, the woman was down to be part of it. She was not.

[Shafty]

A gun was involved.

[Brett Morris]

She's holding the gun.

[Gino Gabris]

She's holding two pistols. DJ Khaled's head as he eats her out. And then when he. When she comes, he goes another one.

[Josh Richmond]

And goes back in.

[Gino Gabris]

You know, leave until you make her come twice. Same rules as when. When I went visited Lucy Lawless on the set a Xena. Oh, my God. Well, Don Donovan, I guess we have to climb down and change into like weird burlap colored thermal shirts and. And go live on a spaceship together.

[Shafty]

Yeah, there's the thermals.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, cool.

[Shafty]

Thank you.

[Gino Gabris]

These cool Henley shirts. There's your necklaces, some fingerless gloves.

[Josh Richmond]

Oh, I'm watching.

[Gino Gabris]

Loving this look. I'm ready for the post apocalyptic world. Josh and Brett, are you ready to start another adventure?

[Brett Morris]

Where are we going from here?

[Gino Gabris]

I can tell you where we're headed. Rockville Center, Baldwin, Freeport, Merrick, Belmore, Wantor, Seaford, Massapequa for the screening of Rust, Mesopequia Park, Amityville, Copag, Lindenhurst, and Damien Chazelle's Babylon, Baby. Till next time, the Gino Lombardo Pop podcast and or show. You know, maybe the next thing I do is I guessed on a comedy Bang Bang episode and just get my. Get my feet back underneath me. Get back into the. Into the interning game. Get my NASA.

[Shafty]

Grow your hair.

[Gino Gabris]

It's up.

[Josh Richmond]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gino Gabris]

What?

[Shafty]

Grow your hair back.

[Gino Gabris]

Oh, yeah. Grow.

[Shafty]

Grow the spine.

[Brett Morris]

All right.

[Shafty]

Get your spine holes healed up.

[Gino Gabris]

Grow my hair back. Take the spine nodules out. Obviously, I'm gonna have to get an enema to get all this purple goo that's up my ass and down my throat. I got finger cuffed by this pink goo. Feels good. Feels good, man, but I gotta get it out. All right. And just before we get out of here, one last ad. And we're back. Goodbye. Thank you to Don Donovan, my arch nemesis, for fabricating an entire universe that I could be part of and. And make me feel alive and rebuild me emotionally only to crush me again. Don, I'm sure our paths will cross again as I learned from the Animated Series. Could I even exist without your existence? What is the point of the bat without the joke? Thank you Don and Josh and Brad obviously stick around. We're gonna just have to record a bunch of spec ads and hope that we can make a couple of bucks.

[Producer Josh]

Let's hope.

[Gino Gabris]

Goodbye. Wow, I can't believe I just let that happen in my feed. Thank you to the Gino Lombardo Show, Don Donovan, Josh Richmond, Brett Morris. Wonderful. What a treat from a Long island comedian to have a Long island legendary Internet. And I'm even just doing his voice a little in his honor by accident because he's an inspiration to me and to everyone around me. So thank you Gino Lombardo. Happy to hear you have physical media coming out. Gino.gabris.com.