Beacon artist examines the shock of parenting
Judging by several titles of her experimental photographs - "Bad Dream," "Boiling Point," "Nothing Left to Give" - motherhood challenged Emma McDonald Diamond.
For the first time in 10 years, she has assembled a solo show, The Thief, which plumbs the depths of emotion. It opens Saturday (Jan. 11) at Super Secret Projects in Beacon.
"There's a lot of joy being a parent, but I lost so many things, like my spontaneity, my individuality and my creativity," says McDonald Diamond, 40. "Now, I've bounced back and found myself again."
The artist is upbeat. She and her husband can tap into a full family system to help with their two boys, ages 2 and 4. But early on, she found it difficult to cope.
One day, an overtired son could not stop crying or be consoled for "what felt like eternity," she says. "I thought about taking him to the hospital. I didn't know what to do." Eventually, he fell asleep in her arms as they sat in a rocking chair, a gentle breeze sweeping over the porch, "but it was something I've never experienced before, and it shocked me to the core."
Most of the imagery in the exhibit is mired in the dire times. With elaborate staging, a Polaroid Lab, multiple manipulations, unorthodox darkroom techniques and a vintage 120mm Rolleiflex camera, McDonald Diamond aimed to create works that were ethereal and haunting.
She dislikes self-portraits but trained the camera on herself for several shots, including "Only the Wind," which refers to the breeze that helped calm her son. As she reposes in a bathtub, eyes closed, tilting toward the camera, a big black blotch covers part of her head.
McDonald Diamond, or friend and model Alice Graff, also pose covered with a membrane of chiffon as if they're inhabiting a gauzy womb or cocoon, distanced from the world. In "Shell," Graff lies in a fetal position with her back to the camera and covered in black twine, as if tied down.
"Boiling Point"
"Control"
"Nothing Left to Give"
"Only the Wind"
"Shell"
Several photos, taken through a rippled glass plate, generate harrowing, splintering effects. The subject in "GODS" seems to be suffering from a nightmarish migraine as head, face and hands look like they're splitting apart.
Beyond art, McDonald Diamond says another aid to her recovery was the Beacon community. After moving from Brooklyn in 2021, McDonald Diamond plunged right in, co-founding the Beacon Photo Club, which meets monthly at Hudson Valley Brewery. The group's first exhibition, Black & White, at Big Mouth Coffee Roasters, 387 Main St., continues through Jan. 30.
A couple of images in The Thief hint at McDonald Diamond's turnaround. In "Two Truths," Graff stands seminude, hinting a smile with hands clasped behind her head and elbows sticking out. The image suggests movement, as if she's boogying to a disco beat.
Even more revealing is "Don't Look for Me in Person I Was Yesterday," a 5-foot sculpture that strings 624 photos together with trellis netting and looks like scales on a giant fish. From the top, shades progressively fade from inky-dark hues into gray midway, ending at the bottom with bright shots of her smiling children.
"The last thing I want is for someone to see this show and think, 'I'll never have kids,'" McDonald Diamond says. "My mother, a pediatric nurse practitioner, always said that if people knew how hard it is to raise a child before becoming parents, there would be fewer people."
Super Secret Projects is located at 484 Main St. in Beacon. The Thief opens on Jan. 11 with a reception from 6 to 9 p.m. See supersecretprojects.com. The Beacon Photo Club next meets on Thursday (Jan. 16). See beaconphotoclub.com.

The Breaking Point