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Angela
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
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Patrick
This should be easy. Sorry, what were you going to say?
Richie
I just. Cards on the table.
Pets Best Ad
Yeah.
Richie
Like, what is this? Like, what?
Patrick
But I think this should be easy.
Richie
It should be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Angela
No, I think it should be.
Richie
We. We're told it's Artists on Artist on Artists on Artist.
Patrick
Sure, sure. Oh, here we go.
Angela
Here we go.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Which.
Patrick
We're a fan of the show.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, Yeah.
Patrick
I haven't seen you two on it.
Cluck U Character
Oh.
Angela
Oh, just the other two.
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)
That.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That's interesting.
Richie
I also am a fan of the show.
Pets Best Ad
Mm.
Richie
I didn't think there were this many people on it.
Angela
Oh.
Cluck U Character
Mm.
Richie
And then you're like, there's a whole cast. It's like a show. It's like a real show.
Patrick
It's like a huge show or something.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
It's. We're talking quantity of person on screen.
Patrick
There's a lot of guys. How many episodes are you done now?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We're at about 226, 7 or 228.
Patrick
How many guys is on there?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
It's. Well, usually it's a cast of four. It's us.
Richie
And so that's actually what is fucking me up right now.
Angela
And what is fucking.
Richie
Because I hear it's artist on artist on artist on artist. Yeah, I get.
Patrick
I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna.
Richie
I'll let him say the name of
Patrick
the show because I get nervous doing that many in a row. Or mess up.
Richie
And I did mess up a little bit. I don't know. I don't know if that should be messy.
Patrick
I think, overall, other than the. And once we get sort of the nuts and bolts, because what we actually
Richie
ended up with is artists on. Artists on. Nobody on Jack Shit.
Patrick
Yeah, sure.
Richie
That's what we. That's what I'm looking at here.
Angela
That's what you're seeing for sure.
Additional Guest
Yeah.
Patrick
By the way, you're the artist, so that's not a bad thing necessarily for you. That's a bad thing for us just in terms of our expectation for what the episode was going to be. But the. The thing I always like to say about doing an episode like this is this should be easy because we have an opportunity.
Richie
Yeah.
Patrick
We have an opportunity here, I think, to kind of diagnose what's been going wrong. Get under the hood.
Richie
Yeah.
Patrick
And fix this bad bird so we can all kind of succeed.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Right. I thought we were here to. Sorry, did you want to do the thing?
Richie
Yeah, if I could just talk for, like, one second.
Patrick
Just let me talk for one second, guys. Just, like.
Richie
Because I'd love to do that. I agree. It's an opportunity to get under the hood. What I'm terrified of right now is what this actually is, is, Angie, you have come back on the show with a guy who you think can kick our ass.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Interesting.
Richie
And instead of.
Angela
So that's what you thought this is instead of.
Richie
Oh, I have this other podcast. Do you. I don't even like fucking.
Patrick
I'm a fan of stuff.
Richie
Do you actually.
Patrick
I actually think it's cool. 200 something episod episodes in. You must be doing something. Right. I haven't seen you guys on it, and I don't really know who is on it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That's so interesting.
Cluck U Character
Yeah.
Richie
Could it be instead, like, oh, I have this other podcast and instead it's you.
Angela
Yeah.
Additional Guest
Bringing.
Patrick
Bringing on someone's dog enforcer.
Cluck U Character
Yes.
Richie
Oh, I'm on it. I mean, I'm on it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You know, I've been on it a
Richie
bunch and I do.
Patrick
A lot of.
Richie
You've been on a bunch?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I've been on every episode. Yeah. So why did you say.
Patrick
Why'd you say a bunch on the hand signal thing? Because.
Cluck U Character
Yeah. That didn't.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You didn't give a hand signal.
Patrick
Yeah, but we didn't know what it was though, either. You said hand signal, and for all I know, something vulgar or obscene.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Do you want me to prescribe a hand signal? Do this and I can speak. How's that. Is that cool?
Patrick
I do that sometimes, though.
Angela
Okay, so we.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay.
Patrick
Sometimes I have to do that. Do you want to go down Getting nervous or what?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You go down. It's me. How's that?
Patrick
I don't know. It doesn't feel good to me.
Angela
What about like. Like.
Richie
And this is just feeding into my. What I'm so terrified of is you've brought someone who's immediately, like, let's bring our hands into it. Right. Let's start swinging our hands around at each other.
Patrick
And then when all of a sudden, you know, wrapped around my tender throat, I have no recourse.
Richie
Well, no one's.
Patrick
Because. Because I have, you know, in fact, willingly engaged in this dynamic where we are discussing where our hands might go. It somehow he made me think it was my idea.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah.
Additional Guest
Yeah.
Angela
I think it's important for me to bring up. Coming on last time was so fun. Right. And I really wanted to come on again. And I'm saying that genuinely.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
She wouldn't stop talking.
Additional Guest
I wouldn't.
Angela
Right.
Richie
And so you admit you were on.
Angela
Yeah, Yeah, I thought I was.
Richie
Okay, great.
Patrick
Richie, your witness.
Angela
I thought I was. Thank you. Thank you, Richie. I appreciate that. So it would be kind of crazy to have 200 episodes plus of a podcast that's fake just so I could bring on a friend to defend me. Right. So it's like a real podcast.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I fight you also, and I know
Angela
it's a real podcast.
Patrick
I don't think it would be defensive because, frankly, we've never done anything wrong. Defense implies that you are being defended against some sort of attack, when actually all we did was do our show normal, and you kind of acted like something inappropriate was happening.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
So, like, I did kind of want to bring something up, but I. I don't know if I should bring it up this early.
Patrick
Yeah, lay it on.
Richie
His scarf.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
His scarf.
Richie
Let's go talk. Let's talk about it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Talk about his scarf.
Richie
He's wearing a scarf around his neck.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Is this the. Is. Do you think this is what we do on our podcast where we improvise costumes and stuff? Is that what you're doing?
Richie
He's wearing a scarf. His throat's very tender.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Are you taking one on one? Yes. And he's wearing a scarf. And he's wearing a hat. Like, what do you want me to do?
Richie
So your podcast is fake.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
It's improvised. We play characters.
Richie
Okay.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Yeah.
Patrick
I'm not wearing a hat.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, you're not wearing a scarf.
Patrick
I understand what that was.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
People, you say you're wearing a Scarf.
Patrick
Of course I'm wearing a scarf.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You're not wearing a scarf. I don't see a scarf.
Richie
His throat is tender. And he has actually an arrangement with his wife where they can be together as long as she never removes the scarf.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay. All right.
Angela
Isn't that, like, an old poem?
Patrick
Everything is sort of an old poem.
Richie
Wait.
Patrick
Sorry.
Richie
Wait. No, wait.
Patrick
Those old poems covered quite a bit of.
Richie
Can you recite it?
Angela
The poem?
Richie
It sounds so good. No, it's a poem about his old scarf. It's a poem about a husband who can never remove his scarf.
Angela
Isn't there a pod? Not a podcast.
Richie
It's either a podcast or a poem.
Angela
Oh, God.
Cluck U Character
The thing.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
So the thing I wanted to bring up. And it's not the scarf.
Richie
That whole poem sounds really good, too.
Patrick
Get in here and solve this. The former US Poet Laurie, Amanda Gorman
Richie
couldn't solve this and has a podcast.
Patrick
Do you know her?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Amanda Gorman Mysteries.
Richie
It might be her podcast. Like the. Yeah, Amanda Gorman Mysteries. Incredible, incredible true crime podcast.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I love Amanda Gorman.
Richie
Amanda Gorman Mysteries is so.
Angela
It's down to cold cases.
Richie
So gnarly.
Patrick
Absolutely.
Richie
Yeah. And really fresh ones. They're not at the scene.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I love that.
Patrick
I'm starting to wonder if she's committing some of these crimes.
Richie
Yes.
Angela
How'd she get in there?
Richie
Just to have a new episode every day.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I love. What scheme is this? It's. It works for both. Because it's poetry.
Richie
It's poetry and crime. Yes.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah. So the thing I wanted to bring
Patrick
up was this is what the show is, Right? The scheme. Like our show bifurcating the word scheme to apply to both ideas. Like finding that common link.
Richie
Yes. That's what he does on the show.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I did a little bit of wordplay. Is that okay?
Richie
Yeah. No, you tell me.
Patrick
I love it. I'm saying that's what the show is.
Angela
You're trying to figure out what our
Patrick
show is and if it's hard to tell. Right.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
And if you know what's crazy, we've been a part of this network for, like. We've been a part of this network for, like, three weeks, and I'm going to call some university housing commission that's in charge of hazing, because I feel like. I feel like we're, like, in trouble for being here. Like, I'm like, this is hazing. Like, I heart. This is hazing.
Richie
If you call them.
Patrick
If you call the word play.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I'm not doing wordplay.
Richie
Don't call the University Housing Commission right now because my phone's almost out of batteries. Okay, that's right.
Angela
Does that make you.
Richie
Yeah, that's right.
Angela
So you're the university housing commission for
Richie
Iheart and Health Services.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay.
Richie
So if you are feeling dizzy, I
Angela
don't think it should.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
All right, well, here's the thing I wanted to bring up.
Patrick
And don't call for cluck you delivery either, if you want. Cluck you? Yeah, that's the chicken wing place. Hot chicken place.
Angela
And that's your phone.
Patrick
Yeah, don't call for cluck you delivery. I can't. I can't take any orders right now.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay.
Richie
He's doing a podcast.
Patrick
I'm in the middle of a podcast.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Not interested in Cluck University.
Patrick
Kluck University.
Richie
Yeah.
Patrick
That's where you get the hot chicken from when you're. When you're on campus.
Richie
They made it a hot chicken Cook university. Yeah.
Angela
Okay, see, obviously he's upset, right? So I. I couldn't have brought him on to protect me because, look, he's already. You've already beaten him down.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I even brought the thing up I wanted.
Patrick
He had a thing he wanted to bring up.
Angela
Yeah.
Patrick
I don't know if it's too early, but we could hear it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We can wait. That's fine. It's. Do you have a run now?
Additional Guest
Okay.
Angela
Seems like they're giving you the hand signal.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay, so here's the thing. Jeremy and Kylie were gonna come. They got an email really, really quickly, and they said, we are not. We don't need you to.
Richie
Can we get the tick tock on this straight? They got an email really, really quickly from when?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Earlier today.
Richie
Earlier today?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We're actually doing the Hollywood Handbook Pride episode. We only want the queer people to come. Okay, so we found out this is the Pride one. And so that's why. My question is, like, you canceled the straight one so that you kicked them
Angela
out, like, June 1, right? June 1.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Where'd you just find out we were queer and you wanted to do a Pride episode?
Richie
We don't know which. We don't know which two is which is kind of the thing. So we're gonna release it when we figure that out.
Pets Best Ad
Can I say something?
Richie
We just know. That's the.
Patrick
That's the line. Can I say when you're attacking me, seemingly going like, did you just find out that we're queer and that's why we're here, for pride? If I'm just finding out, it's not that much pride.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Right?
Richie
That's. Wow. That's like, how proud are you? And it's already 6. It's already 6pm I just want to say.
Angela
Yeah, I think I'm not proud enough. I'm not talking about it enough.
Patrick
Really proud.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I would probably know.
Richie
It's been pride for literally 18 hours.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Somebody on your team sent me an email and said, it's pride. It's pride, sis. It's pride episode.
Richie
That was Kevin. Kevin saying this is not a pride specific thing.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Clap, clap, clap. Go off, guys, and make sure you give it.
Richie
Kevin calls Real Kevin knows his baby
Patrick
is also cis, I believe. And that's Kevin's signature.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, you're right.
Angela
Oh, he just puts that as a.
Patrick
That's how he identified.
Angela
Okay, so that was just his email signature. But yeah, no, I just think it's important that we brought up why the other two on our podcast aren't here today.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, yeah, great.
Richie
We know that. Cuz we set it up that way.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, but he didn't know that.
Patrick
Well, the thing is, honestly, a lot of the logistics and the sort of organizational elements of the podcast have slipped by the wayside.
Cluck U Character
Cluck you.
Patrick
Is taking off right now.
Richie
Yes.
Patrick
Like, it has become such a massive time suck for me, and I'm so proud of what we've been able to build our little team.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
And congrats.
Richie
Just the idea making the chicken hot.
Patrick
Yeah, it's like.
Richie
But it's on another level I've had
Patrick
to take a step back from.
Richie
Because it was very creamy before.
Patrick
It was.
Angela
It was. It's crazy. I'm now just coming to. This is exactly what happened when I came on there. It takes me 10 minutes to, like, actually.
Richie
So you admit it.
Angela
I'm admitting that I wasn't.
Richie
That she did the podcast before.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Yes.
Patrick
She's done it. Yes. Thank you, Rich.
Angela
And it took me 10 minutes to literally get this flow. And now I finally got it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah.
Angela
And I just want to tell you I'm here.
Patrick
Oh, welcome to the show. It should be easy, but for some reason, it never feels that way. Are your chair arms okay?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
One of them fell down. Like, it just like, it just fell.
Richie
This is like the Hulk. Yes. You know the Hulk. Like. Like, right before the Hulk transforms.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I definitely could have been Crunch. I bet you guys could kick my ass faster than I could kick your ass, boys.
Patrick
Such a trap. Such a trap.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, I know.
Patrick
I accepted a bet.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Right?
Patrick
So then it's like I, again, am complicit in whatever ends up happening to me physically.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No.
Richie
It's so smart not falling for this again.
Patrick
He's just a little bit smarter.
Richie
We just had Anna conkle and he's
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
one of my partners.
Angela
She beat you up.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
She beat you guys up.
Richie
I mean. Yeah. And that's literally the last time that that's going to happen. 100%.
Cluck U Character
100%. That's it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't want to. I'm not.
Angela
Especially in the Pride episode. I don't want to do that.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't want to do that.
Richie
So this is the Pride episode.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We were told it is.
Patrick
Pride fighting.
Richie
All right.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Five for fighting.
Patrick
Pride fighting.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Pride fighting.
Angela
Pride fighting.
Richie
Prize fighting.
Patrick
Yeah, like UFC pride fighting.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Okay.
Patrick
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Angela
Okay. Pride. Yeah. Okay, great.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That's awesome.
Patrick
Regular Ken Shamrock over here.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
What's that?
Patrick
UFC pride fighter.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, okay.
Richie
Different month. He's associated with a different.
Patrick
Yeah, different month. Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Ken Shamrock. That's some. Is that a real person or some sort of 80s cartoon reference I wouldn't get?
Richie
Because you didn't have a TV or something like, you, like.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't know. I was watching.
Patrick
What am I setting you up for?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't know.
Patrick
What's the story? Where were you in the 80s?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I genuinely don't know who. I don't know who. Get cheated.
Richie
Your parents were on a baby. Jason.
Additional Guest
Guam.
Angela
He just didn't know the character you were talking about.
Richie
Okay.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I just didn't know you were talking about, like, I just, like, coming into,
Richie
like, I'm genuinely asking because, like, when I figure out if this is the Queer episode or not, like, I am just kind of, like, feeling out, like, how to be.
Angela
So you would act differently if it was the Queer episode? You would act differently, is what you're saying.
Richie
I would know the answers instead of, like, you know, now I just have the questions.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I just literally don't know who Ken Shamrock is. Is that like an MMA fighter or. Or was it a joke on a word?
Patrick
Pride fighter. I'm not. I'm actually not trying to trick anyone.
Richie
Okay.
Patrick
That's actually. That's sort of a weird thing I do on the show is like, just. I calls it like I see it.
Richie
No tricking, just chicken.
Patrick
Just fucking balls and strikes, man. It's like whatever I'm laying out, like, that's just like. What you see is what you get. I'm a straight shooter and I am not trying to, like, get you into some kind of corner where you agree, I guess, that a real person was a cartoon character. I don't know what you think the game is, honestly.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I just didn't know who it was. And I just was like. I just thought, is there a wordplay going on here? Like, I didn't know if there was something.
Patrick
No, that's your. You'll be in charge of that.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I'm not gonna be doing that.
Patrick
You'll be in charge of that.
Richie
If you want to hang here, like, you're gonna have to know, like, what's wordplaying and what's. I mean, like, this is. I heart.
Additional Guest
Yeah.
Angela
Yeah. Do you guys have any tips?
Additional Guest
Yeah,
Angela
kind of just doing the same thing.
Richie
We pull them here. That's a good. I mean, that's a good start to, like.
Patrick
You want to talk about. We pull the tips.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, you pull tips. Speaking of tips.
Richie
And I heard. Did they not have that conversation with you? Okay.
Patrick
It's a. It's a really nice community to be a part of. If you actually join it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
There's a tip show.
Patrick
You actually participate.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You know, that's interesting.
Richie
But then there is a little element of, like, you kind of feel like you're doing the podcast and you're, like, doing all the work. And now Richie is taking, like, my exactly the same share of tips, equal
Patrick
portion of the tip. But you can't get bogged down in that. You can't look at it that way. Well, we're all here for the same.
Richie
He ain't contributing something to. I don't know what it is he's witnessed.
Patrick
He's witnessed to Angie having been on the show before. And what I'll say too, is.
Angela
And that was something. That was something to witness.
Patrick
Yeah. And what I'll say, too, is, you know, we're all here with the same goal in mind. And I mean, all of us.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Patrick
Which is to make a great fucking podcast.
Angela
Right.
Patrick
You know, whether it's the artists on the artists on the artist on the artist.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Sure, sure, sure.
Patrick
Whether it's Hollywood Handbook or whether it's whatever Richie does. You know, the end goal is let's make a great podcast. So if we end up pulling the tips. Cause we're all rowing in the same direction, I think that's actually pretty cool. And I think it's something to get on board for. And I don't think we should necessarily be saying, oh, there should be a separate queer tip.
Richie
Right.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't think either of us said that.
Angela
No. Cause it would obviously be less. Right. So we wouldn't want that.
Richie
We wouldn't want that.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I'm just curious if Cluck youk is also part of the tip share.
Richie
So when that. When somebody tips. Yeah, that is the plan.
Patrick
Mm.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
When you guys haven't gotten a tip for Cluck you yet.
Angela
So when they do tip. Cluck you, the plan is when that tip hits.
Richie
Ooh.
Patrick
That's what we've been discussing for sure.
Angela
Really?
Patrick
That's the plan that's in place. And when. And when the tip hits. Mama, look out.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
It's gonna look good.
Patrick
It's going to be a big one for us.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We just don't, you know, we don't get tips on our podcast. We have crew that we pay fuck.
Richie
What?
Cluck U Character
Really?
Angela
Yeah. When are you guys collecting the tips? Like, is there a link or something?
Richie
Or there's like, as people listen. Like, it's in the app. Like, as people listen to every podcast app, there's like a little.
Angela
A tip button.
Richie
Yeah, there's like a little button. If you, like, people press it as fast as possible.
Patrick
Like what you're hearing. There's a little guy that pops up too. Like what you're hearing, like a tip.
Angela
Does he get tipped?
Patrick
Yeah, he's like a sort of like a talking hat. Oh, cool. It's like clippy, but it's like a hat. Yeah, it's the I heart hat.
Angela
Okay, cool. Because these are good people to know. The I heart hat.
Cluck U Character
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I didn't know anything about the Iheart hat.
Angela
Yeah, I've never even seen it. Is it just like a. Like a red hat?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
He says, like, what you're hearing, like,
Patrick
what you're seeing, it's not red. I mean, I guess it could be.
Richie
You want it to be a red hat.
Angela
She's asking if it's red.
Patrick
I guess that's, like, very, like, kind of maga to me, which if that's, like, your whole thing, I don't.
Richie
It's like, the one color of hat.
Patrick
I guess I haven't done really any research into the background, but if it's. Yeah, but a red hat, I.
Angela
We're not maga. Yeah.
Richie
Oh, I'm sorry for correcting the pronunciation.
Patrick
Yeah.
Angela
You didn't offend me, and I wasn't protecting them. Okay. And that was fucked up, the way you turned on.
Richie
We'll get it right.
Patrick
I've never really talked to people about it. Like, I've, like, read it on a hat and been like, that's not for me. But you apparently have, like, a much greater don't put me there kind of relationship with this.
Richie
And we don't meet people where it's like, no, it's this.
Patrick
No.
Richie
You know, I think I've literally ever met.
Angela
You're supposed to protect.
Cluck U Character
I'm trying.
Pets Best Ad
Protect me.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I'm trying.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Do I.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Listen, all I'm saying is when you want to know the enemy, you have to know the enemy. When you want to take them down, you have to know everything about them. So you know she's curious and interested.
Richie
Did you say the enemy or the heny? Because the heny is the sort of hamburglar of clucky. So you do know about me.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We know the hen. The heny is. I actually have seen the hen. The hen, this really sassy, sassy chicken that's trying to steal all the chicken. And it's sad, right? She thinks she.
Patrick
Oh, it's a woman.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
She's a scientist. She's trying to bring the chicken back to life that's been killed.
Patrick
Yes. She's a widow and a scientist, and she believes she could sort of re.
Cluck U Character
Yeah.
Angela
What is her relationship to the university?
Patrick
She's trying to destroy Kluck U. She's stealing the chicken from Kluck U.
Richie
And Dean.
Patrick
Kluck University and the dean.
Angela
The dean. Like, barbecue sauce or something?
Richie
No, it's the henemy.
Angela
Okay. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay.
Richie
Yeah. She's using her. She's misusing her power to steal all the chicken.
Patrick
Oh, yeah, because she would immediately. Campus security would arrest her immediately if she wasn't the dean.
Richie
Think about it.
Patrick
Stealing chicken. And we all know who it is. No, that's illegal. But she's the dean. She also has tons of access to the labs and the science department anywhere, Every single room in the middle. So she's able to use all the science equipment to try to reconstitute her dead husband out of the chicken that she steals.
Cluck U Character
Wow.
Additional Guest
Yeah.
Patrick
Yeah.
Richie
And they were divorced by his choice, so it's much worse.
Patrick
Yeah. But she's hanging on to, like, thought that they were gonna rekindle something.
Angela
Oh, my God. They had no kids or anything.
Patrick
I think they had, like, a hundred or something.
Angela
Okay, cool.
Patrick
Yeah, they had a kid. They had, like, a hundred.
Angela
Oh, they had a kid every day.
Patrick
They were married.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
They had a kid every day for 100 days.
Patrick
100 days.
Richie
For 100 days.
Cluck U Character
Yeah.
Angela
For 100 days. They had a kid every day. So just one kind of a year of.
Richie
Sounds like a dual divorce. Like, is that, like, if a hen
Patrick
is having no kid? Like, if you're talking. She literally had never laid a single egg for, like, 100 days.
Cluck U Character
Literally.
Patrick
You know, this sounds. They're still a farmer.
Angela
Okay.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
This literally sounds like a story you learned, like, in Spanish in a Spanish class.
Angela
Like, she had a kid for 100 days.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Like, you're hitting all the target words. This doesn't make a ton of sense.
Patrick
Well, you know, I don't think it's a bad thing to learn about other cultures.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You have to love Spanish. I actually do.
Angela
No, he does. He does. But thank you. So, okay, so the hat, the tipping. Any other tips?
Richie
Do you talk about how he loves Spanish?
Angela
No, I just know that about him. I've known him for a bunch of years.
Richie
What else?
Patrick
Feels like fetishizing it or something, doesn't it?
Richie
Yes.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
What?
Angela
Him loving Spanish feels beyond language.
Patrick
Well, we were saying it's not a bad thing to learn about other cultures. And then he was like, I love Spanish, and you were like, he does.
Richie
He does, Yeah.
Angela
I went, he does?
Richie
Yeah.
Angela
And I go, he does.
Patrick
People can play it back.
Richie
I'll just say right now, play it back. I also love Spanish. Have I ever once brought up, oh, I love Spanish?
Patrick
I guess I believe that you do, but it's not just something that you've, like, made me deal with. If that's, like, something that you're experiencing, you're doing it well.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You don't seem like someone who vocalizes gratitude a lot, and maybe that might be an issue. Like, maybe you should try to vocalize things you like. Like, I think it's nice to kind of say out in the universe what you like and. And, you know, give a moment to that, is what I would say.
Patrick
Was that what your show is?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, our show's improvised.
Angela
No, it's just, like, characters. Yeah. We kind of like to make fun of Hollywood a little bit.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Make fun of, like.
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Yeah.
Patrick
I mean, who's that for?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I mean, just like, honestly, it's like. Like a bunch of, like, Scottish 17 year olds.
Patrick
They love the show.
Nissan Rogue Ad
They love it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
They love it. And we love that.
Angela
Yeah.
Richie
Can you imagine, like, living at Fringe? Can you imagine, like, being a kid?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah.
Richie
And during the Fringe, like, during Scotland.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That would be fun.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Yeah.
Patrick
And like, on the main part of it, your kid.
Pets Best Ad
It's.
Richie
It's Scotland and now it's Fringe. You're a kid at. And Fringe is like, at your house.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, it does certainly sounds fun.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Yeah.
Angela
Do you guys think. Yeah. Oh, you mean, like the festivals, like, by. Near you.
Richie
It's like, at Scotland.
Patrick
Yeah, you know that.
Angela
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I knew that.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I knew that.
Patrick
They're doing it there.
Angela
No, I feel like I literally.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Well, then you have something in your name.
Angela
I feel like I'm literally like, I can't see.
Richie
I knew it.
Patrick
No, I knew.
Richie
That's what he just told me.
Angela
I had A little something on my nose. Do you think he's protecting me?
Patrick
No, I think that you're on drugs.
Angela
Okay.
Patrick
I think that you were both doing drugs before, and that's why this episode has been so confusing.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We weren't doing drugs.
Patrick
It was so. First of all, he's got his eye out for was so quick, the way it went away. And it was not something from your body that was in your nose. It was something else.
Angela
I mean, it was.
Richie
An iceberg fell out of there.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, it was not.
Angela
I'm not.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
It was not cocaine.
Patrick
Odd damn fucking glacier of cocaine in your dad came flying out of my nose, and it was, like, pretty uncomfortable for me to be looking at, but she. Whatever. People can make whatever choices they want. I'd rather not have it impact the podcast episode because, like I said, at I heart, we all kind of have the same goal.
Cluck U Character
Yeah.
Angela
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Did you say that before?
Patrick
Which is, to me, it's been a long time. Yeah. We just want to do a good show.
Angela
Right.
Richie
And I. I guess it is helpful to say again, because he didn't hear. We do all have the same goal here, which is just a podcast.
Patrick
Can I make a great damn podcast?
Angela
Yeah, I should.
Patrick
I'm gonna do it.
Angela
Yeah. I love that. I just want to be clear. I am not on drugs.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
She's not on drugs, and I'm on.
Richie
Because it didn't get all the way in. It fell out.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
She wasn't trying to be on drugs and isn't. She's not on drugs, and I'm not on drugs. Okay. And the fact that this is the Pride episode and you accuse us of being on drugs, like, immediately offensive to.
Angela
Yeah, that's a good point.
Richie
That immediate that we talked. I mean, like.
Patrick
Yeah, we're pretty deep into it. It came up somewhat organically when the drugs came falling out of your nose. And I would say that people within the LGBTQ community probably are free to enjoy drugs just like anyone else.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Don't jump over that.
Patrick
I should.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You jumped over Q. LGBTQ community.
Angela
Believe me, you're putting it straight to community.
Richie
It's all about the LGBT community.
Patrick
And that's one of your kind of moves, isn't it? I mean, I like it, but the community.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, God. A community
Patrick
with a U.
Angela
Don't do that.
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Don't.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
God is human.
Patrick
Partake in substances the same way the whole rest of the population is. I don't think I should not be allowed to talk about it just because it's a particular episode.
Richie
He's doing an entire promotion We've done
Patrick
straight episodes where we've accused people of being on drugs, and we're doing this episode and accusing people of being on drugs. I don't know why it would be any different.
Angela
Okay, okay.
Richie
Pride month. Cluck you. Leg gizzard. Breast. Thigh cluck.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You're giving out a full clock while you're talking.
Cluck U Character
Yeah.
Richie
And the plus is, like, sides.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah.
Angela
Like, meal.
Richie
Deal.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
The clock's a little weird. I bought. I got that before. A clock, clock.
Patrick
A clock clock, claw clock.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You sell the. You sell the clock. And let's be honest, it's the tongue. It's the chicken's tongue. Fried tongue.
Additional Guest
Yeah.
Angela
The quokk is.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
The quokk is.
Angela
See, I feel like I'm fucking. Would it surprise you that maybe I thought about, I needed to do drugs before this episode? How does that make you feel? Does that make you feel like.
Richie
But you couldn't figure it out or,
Angela
like, well, obviously they fell out?
Richie
Yeah.
Patrick
Would that surprise me? I guess for me to be surprised by that, I would have had to come in with some expectation of, like, what you're doing or what you're thinking about before. And that's simply not my world. And I don't mean this to be, you know, insulting in any way, but literally, you did not exist before the episode started. And the second events, you cease to exist again.
Richie
Oh, my God.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, my God.
Angela
And you're seeing that on the Pride episode.
Patrick
It's nothing personal. I say this to all of our guests. It has nothing to do.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You said this to everyone. You said this to Riz Ahmed multiple times.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Wow.
Patrick
He kept interrupting me.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I think you let him. I think when Riz Ahmed comes in, you guys have some amazing guests that are coming on right now.
Patrick
You think we talk over them?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, I don't think you talk over them, but I think. I think a little bit of a moment of gratitude to be like, hey, it's. We are really.
Angela
Whoa.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We're punching in a. In a new class right now. You know what I mean? I'm not counting us. I know.
Patrick
He's talking about this again. It's so subtle.
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)
Yes.
Patrick
I actually admire it because I do let my guard down in a way, and I did.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I did have a bit of a temper when I was a kid. And this is kind of riling me up a little bit, the idea that you think I would fight because I've always been a little bit bigger. I've been bigger than other people.
Richie
When did you stop have a temper?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
When did I stop have a temper? I Don't think I ever stopped. Have a temper.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Oh, Patrick.
Richie
But you just said it was.
Patrick
When you.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
When I was a kid, I didn't
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know how to control.
Angela
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't rile him.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
When I was in the past tense when I was a kid, I chose. I couldn't control it. Okay? I had some issues. I did. This is a real story, and I can't believe I'm telling it. When I was in first grade, this kid cut in front of me, and I was really upset. His name was Max Magoo. This is real.
Angela
Magoo.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Max Magoo.
Patrick
Mr. Magoo.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
MC.
Patrick
Perhaps he didn't see you.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, he saw me. And he was. I think he was screaming at me. We got into a little bit of an altercation, and I pulled his cheeks. I said, yeah. And I just. And I had to go to.
Angela
Are they there?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah. And he started crying, and I had to go eat with the assistant. His whole face came off. You took Max Maggoo's face off?
Nissan Rogue Ad
Oh, no.
Angela
Oh.
Patrick
That's how Mr. Magoo lost his vision.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
He took his eyes out because his
Angela
cheeks went so far that he was blind.
Patrick
So hard. He went blind?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, but I did. I had to control myself. I started breathing. Doing some breathing exercises. I started controlling that. But I used to be backed into corners and get upset, and I would lash out. And so I am feeling that a little bit right now. I'm trying to control it. I'm okay, but if you want a fighter, you gotta fight her. You know what I mean?
Angela
I'm saying he's learned since then, like, what a vulnerable thing to, like, give. Right.
Richie
Okay. I personally prefer to come from a place of vocalizing gratitude.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I was doing that earlier.
Patrick
You didn't vocalize gratitude.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I vocalized Spanish. You guys. Neither of you were doing that.
Patrick
Oh, I always am doing that. Ten minutes ago, from the very beginning, I've done that.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That's.
Richie
And I. I think I've been doing it literally this entire podcast. Like, just the fact that you will, like, completely cease to exist, like, the second you like the door.
Angela
Grateful for that.
Richie
I'm grateful for you existing right now.
Patrick
Isn't it nice to be able to share this unbelievable sense of community? Everyone, you know, as I said, rowing in the same direction. Yes.
Richie
You're existing for me and him. You know what I mean? Like, it's for us. Of course we're grateful.
Angela
I don't know if it feels like you are.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, let's say something. You're grateful I said. I love Spanish. Angela is There something you.
Richie
Thank you.
Angela
I'm grateful.
Patrick
I heard it as well.
Angela
I'm grateful for I heart.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay.
Angela
Bringing us all together today.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That is awesome.
Patrick
Okay, that's mine as well.
Angela
You can't take mine. You have to be grateful for something.
Patrick
On my own, I'm grateful. I've been at I heart longer than you have. I mean, I can't be grateful for I heart. Okay.
Angela
Okay, fine.
Patrick
You just showed up.
Angela
Okay. What are you grateful for?
Richie
I'm grateful for Philip. The hat's name is Philip.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, the Iheart hat.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You know why his name. Philip.
Richie
Yeah. You know why? Fill up the hat.
Patrick
Fill him up.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, tip.
Additional Guest
Cool.
Angela
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. And. Yeah,
Richie
and it's good to say that you're grateful to him because. Oh, what comes out of the hat is kind of like a Philip decision. What he breaks, it was equal. It's equal once it comes out of
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
the hat, you know, but he chooses when it comes out.
Patrick
Well, the hat doesn't get dispersed until it has been filled up. Oh, and.
Angela
And he's in charge of that.
Patrick
Sometimes it feels like capacity seems to be nearly infinite in terms of how much Philip can hold before he does release some of those funds.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Interesting.
Angela
Okay. And you're grateful for Philip. Okay, great. We were all grateful.
Richie
And he's.
Patrick
Yeah, let's all be great.
Richie
Queer. Also, you seem to be very into, like, who's queer? Who was it Queer?
Pets Best Ad
Yeah.
Patrick
I mean, it was never our goal to out Philip on the podcast. The I heart hat.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You know, the I heart hat is queer.
Patrick
Since you're demanding to know everyone.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Do you know what letter? Would you. Could you.
Richie
I just said it. I literally just said. It's a Q.
Additional Guest
Said it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
He's the Q.
Richie
Yes.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
He's part of the community. Yes.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Okay, cool.
Richie
And yes, he's married to a woman hat. Is that, like. Is that okay? Is he allowed?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Right?
Angela
Yeah, of course he's married to a woman.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
It doesn't. It doesn't minimize him to us.
Richie
And he says he would never, ever be with anyone who's not a woman. Yeah. A woman.
Angela
I can't debate the I heart. Radios, hats, sexuality.
Additional Guest
If.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
If the eye.
Richie
I'm literally not suggesting you do.
Cluck U Character
I'm.
Patrick
No, no, no. Your eyes got really big and you
Richie
went, okay, you're baiting.
Angela
He's only been.
Additional Guest
You're baiting.
Angela
He's only been. You're bait with her.
Patrick
Yeah, he's.
Richie
No, I didn't say no.
Patrick
He's been with other women.
Richie
He's been with many, many Other women he's been with.
Patrick
Yeah, he's. Yeah.
Richie
Outside of. Outside of his marriage.
Cluck U Character
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
He's in an open marriage.
Patrick
He's in an open marriage or he's been out.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
He's been on Facebook.
Richie
It's like the hat. It's open one way.
Angela
One of those.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
And his wife is a hat or a woman.
Richie
His wife is a woman. Woman. Hat.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay, Sorry. Sorry. To separate those women can be hats
Nissan Rogue Ad
and hats can be women.
Angela
Yes.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah.
Angela
Okay, great. I'm learning so much.
Richie
But all of the women outside of his marriage are women.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Like, real women. Human women.
Richie
Human women.
Angela
Oh, yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
So she's a bonnet, and then he's sleeping with, like, regular women.
Patrick
Yeah.
Angela
And he's a hat.
Richie
And using, like, using his possession here.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
What?
Richie
Using his position.
Patrick
I mean, literally get them a show at iheart.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Oh, really?
Richie
Or break them, like, off some extra tips.
Patrick
She reminds me of the nefarious Dean Henemy. Just all these. Anyone who gets a taste of power, you know.
Richie
Yes.
Patrick
Seems to immediately.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I was gonna say that.
Patrick
And wield it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, I was literally thinking Iron Hat Phillips giving enemy.
Richie
Yeah.
Patrick
No, it's very damaging.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Enemy coded.
Patrick
It corrupts. It really does.
Richie
But anyway, using it for sex as well in such a confusing way because, like, so focused on reanimating her divorced husband.
Angela
Yeah. Oh, we're back to clock. Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Ahead of me.
Angela
Sorry. I know. I know. And I'm just like. I'm just tracking. Sorry. I'm just tracking because we're. I don't know anything about this chicken place. What? What?
Richie
I'm asking them. Like, we literally just, like, we've just
Patrick
been talking about Anything about it.
Angela
I was just clarifying.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I. I do want to. Can I say something really quick? When you do that kind of stuff, when you look to the audience, that's actually violence against women because you're inciting boys.
Richie
No.
Additional Guest
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That's scary. You can't do that kind of stuff.
Richie
No, it's. The women. All the women on the other side are. Are going. When I look at them like this, they're like.
Patrick
Yeah.
Richie
Every single woman out there.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't know about that. Yeah, I don't know about that.
Angela
They're like, not my circus.
Nissan Rogue Ad
By the way.
Patrick
We told you we were gonna need this hand gesture, didn't we?
Additional Guest
Now.
Angela
Now you can talk.
Patrick
No, we didn't attach it to that for this very reason.
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Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Because nobody plans anything, bro. Good thing the Rogue's ready like that for real.
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Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That turbo torque is crazy. The most in its class. It moves moves.
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Guest from Hollywood Handbook
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Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I did have a question about for you guys talking about power changing people, Philip Hinnomy, et cetera. Do you think it's changed you guys? You guys have become a little different now that you guys are big wigs.
Richie
I think I have become more gratitude for having so much crazy ass power.
Angela
There's no way you can't become gratitude.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You can't be more gratitude.
Angela
You can be more grateful.
Richie
I think I have grateful.
Angela
Okay, okay. Because you have all this power because
Richie
I have my power that I love.
Patrick
I just want to say thank you for sharing that. And hearing you say that is giving me have so much gratitude.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
And power, too.
Richie
And power.
Angela
It makes me want to barf during small gas.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
And it feels like words are just falling out as they come out. Like words are just. There's just.
Richie
She knows something about that.
Angela
Like drugs coming out of her.
Richie
Like a big drug that came out of her nose before.
Angela
Like big chunks of cocaine.
Patrick
I know one word that blows my nose. Yeah.
Angela
You know how damaging that is on I heart rate?
Richie
I do know how damaging that is to a woman's brain.
Patrick
I know how damaging it is. That's why I don't do it.
Richie
Yes.
Angela
I'm talking about the association with it.
Patrick
These are your tools. This is your toolbox. You don't get another one of these. You can't just fill it with poison and expect to keep being able to craft these amazing imaginary worlds that you do on your show, which I'm a big fan of and I can't wait to see you guys on there. Please, I'm begging you.
Angela
What are you begging? What are you begging?
Richie
Don't do it for us.
Angela
I'm not. I'm not.
Patrick
Do it for killer yourself.
Richie
For Michael. Who and Hester. What's the talking about Kylie and Kylie and Kylie.
Angela
Straight ones.
Redfin Ad
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Michael and Hester.
Richie
Yeah.
Angela
Okay. I appreciate that. I just. I. I don't know. I care a lot.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You don't have to appreciate.
Patrick
I hope for their sake they never have a desire to experiment or anything because you're really walling without them even here to defend themselves. You're really walling off that opportunity. You're on record now on Iheart, a big, big network. Just saying.
Angela
Closing them out.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I want to be clear. We didn't do that. You guys sent an email that said just the Queer Ones were doing a Pride episode.
Angela
We made a poopsie clap clap.
Additional Guest
Yeah.
Angela
You're coming in on June 1st. Leave the other two home.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah.
Patrick
Can I finally say something, Patrick? I haven't sent an email. I couldn't do it with a gun to my head. I don't know how that that thing works. And for you to sit here and tell me that I sent the email. Well, sir, I don't like to do this, but you are a liar.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I'm not saying you sent it, but somebody on your behalf. You got to represent. You got to understand the people representing. You heard him.
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)
What?
Patrick
Richard. You heard him. I didn't send it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You are the Top of this thing. Okay. And whether you like it or not, you have people that work for you that would do things for you, and you have to.
Patrick
They work with me.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Account for them. They work with you.
Patrick
They work with me. We pull the tips.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You're right. We all pull the tips. Well, they sent me something, and I think that you're. You know, you're responsible. Kevin. Kevin reports to you. Kevin, you guys work together.
Richie
Can you at least address him with respect the way we did you? And call him sis.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Call him sis?
Richie
Yes. Like C. I S. No, that's Kevin.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You want us to go? You want me to call.
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)
I don't.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You want me to just call Sean sis out of nowhere?
Richie
It's not out of nowhere. We did it first.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You called me sis.
Richie
Yeah. Through the whole email. Yeah. Oopsie. We made a poopy email.
Angela
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
All right. Hey, be more responsible with your whole operation. Sis.
Angela
Sis.
Richie
Thank you.
Patrick
Thank you. And gratitude for this as well.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You like being called sis?
Richie
Thank you, sis. And thank you as well.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Sis. Did that change our relationship a little bit?
Patrick
And gratitude as well.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Whoa.
Angela
What's going on?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't know.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Thank you.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
He loved being called sis.
Angela
Okay, you're doing hand. What is it?
Patrick
You honor me.
Angela
You honor me.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Do you want to be called sis, too?
Richie
I mean, once or twice. Could be.
Angela
I'll give you a call.
Richie
We could play around with her. You want to play around with her?
Patrick
See how it feels? I mean, take it around the block.
Richie
All right. We don't know until we try.
Angela
Yeah, sure.
Patrick
Why do you want to be called sis? And see how we all feel about
Richie
bottom for a couple. Sis is in the mix. Do it anymore.
Angela
I'd love to get a word in. Sis.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
How's that feel?
Patrick
I think the. I think that when you did it with me, the sentence leading up to it was a little more.
Angela
I tried to do it, like, a little generous.
Patrick
Yeah. I think what happened was there was an attack, and it almost felt like you were trying to disguise it by.
Richie
I'd actually prefer you didn't try again.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Okay.
Richie
I prefer we just end it there.
Angela
The sis trying out.
Richie
I was really excited about it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Cause it really affected Shauna.
Angela
No, I did try to do it like bush.
Patrick
Okay, so Hayes is done. So I think what's best right now when Hayes is done is that we should probably also wrap it up, because he's a big part of the show. I mean, this is my partner, and to see him so wounded. He was so vulnerable in that moment. You know, he's been very. Gratitude this episode and talked about his power in a way that was very open and to see him be vulnerable and really ask for something. To ask for something, and then to
Richie
have to be reduced to cis.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You asked that. He's literally asked.
Angela
So you're pissed. Not at what I said before. You're pissed that I called you sis.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't.
Richie
My entire body of work, the hundreds and hundreds of episodes that we've done on this show, you come in here and I'm just cis.
Angela
You just ask.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
I don't understand that.
Angela
To call you cis.
Richie
I.
Patrick
But I support it.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, of course.
Richie
Hayes did that.
Additional Guest
Yes.
Richie
You're saying I did that?
Angela
You said, can you call me sis?
Richie
The Hayes man did that.
Angela
Yeah.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Hayes man did it. You're confusing the hell out of me, sis. How's that?
Angela
No, don't look.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Don't talk to the women. Don't talk to the army women. Don't talk to the army of women.
Richie
Ladies, stop. Ladies. Am I crazy? Help me out. Like, come on.
Patrick
Hey, stop.
Angela
No, don't do it down the road.
Richie
We need to talk to the gay.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You know what they're saying.
Patrick
I want to, you know.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Know.
Patrick
Go ahead and let us know what you think of some of the treatment that Hayes has gotten. And please do
Richie
subscribe.
Patrick
Phrase. Yeah, subscribe.
Angela
Hayes. I'm sorry.
Patrick
I'm sorry, Richie. You witnessed it.
Angela
Yeah.
Richie
Gratitude for this.
Angela
For this.
Richie
Gratitude for this.
Angela
I'm sorry, sis.
Patrick
Well, a heck of a.
Richie
Today of gratitude.
Patrick
Heck of a welcome party.
Additional Guest
And.
Patrick
And I do want to say awesome again. The only thing I know for certain about your podcast at this point is two people don't show up. So if you do ever have. If you do ever have an episode that you want to do with two sissies.
Additional Guest
Whoa.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, no. Just because we called you sissy, you can't.
Patrick
You don't want. No.
Richie
They're not allowed. They're not allowed on your show is
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
a word that I have been called in my life when I was Texas. Whoa. Games. Games called Smear the queer where you hold a ball and they'd beat you up. You ever play those games? That shit's real, guys.
Patrick
Yeah, but that's not part of this podcast.
Angela
Sissy.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You're not a sissy. But what I will ask. What I will ask is if you were to come on our episode.
Nissan Rogue Ad
Our.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Our podcast. We do a different thing every episode. We'll do directors or writers. Do you. Would you guys want to make a fun of something in Hollywood? Is there something you'd Want to pick?
Richie
Have you done actors before?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, like our first episode was actors.
Patrick
No, thanks. That was my main.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
What's your take on actors? If you guys were to play.
Richie
If you've done it. I don't really want to.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Like, so you don't want it. So you. So we've done the one that you want to do and now you won't do any of them.
Patrick
You've done actors already, right?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We did actors. We've probably done actors.
Richie
20 who did it?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That was just us.
Patrick
You guys did it.
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)
Okay.
Richie
Okay. Would have seized the opportunity.
Patrick
I mean, what were the two you said you'd done?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We've done directors and writers.
Patrick
Okay, we do. But not actors. Or you've done actors.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
We've done actors too.
Angela
Oh, we've done actors.
Patrick
Yeah, they've done it.
Additional Guest
Okay.
Richie
Yeah, we had a lot of good stuff for that.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
What would be.
Angela
We could probably just do it like a different version. Like, what kind of actors?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Like. Yeah, we've done that too. We, like, do, like, superhero villains.
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)
What?
Angela
What?
Richie
Men.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Men actors.
Angela
Oh, you wanna do male actors? Like a roundtable?
Richie
That's not exactly what I said, but
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
you just want to do a roundtable of men? We can do that then. Actors.
Angela
I feel like I ruined the vibes.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You can't claim that.
Angela
No, I think it's my fault.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
No, it's not.
Richie
I will say every other episode we've done has been pretty fun conversation.
Patrick
Kind of nice.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Yeah, it's been kind enough.
Richie
It's been nice to be a part of.
Patrick
For us.
Richie
I know. For the guest.
Patrick
I've been very comfortable on all the other episodes, and the guest has always really had a good time.
Angela
Yeah. This one just. I don't know, it just didn't feel.
Patrick
It may be something I'm bringing to it today and I know I can take accountability. Maybe I'm a little off today. I thought this was gonna be an easy one.
Richie
I don't know if it's you. I will say we did think it was the studio last time, and that precipitated our having to leave the. The network. And so that has at least me. That episode was ruled out. As. As. As we try to narrow it down. The studio, we have to scratch off the list as the. As the. The cause. So that's the kind of stuff when
Angela
you say shit like that. I want to do drugs.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Don't do that.
Additional Guest
Don't do that.
Patrick
Would you want to come back?
Angela
No, don't do that. That would be so fun.
Richie
Maybe Patrick comes back with a bigger
Angela
Guy with a bigger guy.
Richie
Even bigger, or. Oh, no, no, a bigger lady. She's right.
Patrick
No, no.
Richie
A really big lady. And then. And then she comes back with a really big guy.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
You want like a Russian nesting doll of guests? Yeah, listen, I.
Richie
Switching off.
Angela
Don't. Don't do this.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
She's paying me $300 to kick your asses in the parking lot, not to beat you up.
Cluck U Character
That's.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That is why. So if I beat you up, will you still have me back?
Angela
I said 200.
Richie
Is it 150 each or one each?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
200.
Angela
I said 200.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Well, I said 300, so you're gonna make me a liar.
Angela
It's been the worst day of my life.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Don't worry about it. I'm getting three.
Richie
It's today of gratitude for me.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Today of gratitude.
Angela
Today of gratitude. I mean, maybe I just don't click with you guys. I just. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Richie
It's okay. This is OG Bye.
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Angela
Cat.
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Patrick
always chaos when we link up?
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
Because nobody plans anything, bro. Good thing the Rogue's ready like that for real.
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Patrick
And they got some kick, too.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
That turbo torque is crazy. The most in its class. It moves. Moves.
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Patrick
Load up we out.
Guest from Hollywood Handbook
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Angela
Com this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Podcast: Hollywood Handbook
Host: iHeartPodcasts
Release Date: June 2, 2026
Guests: Angela Giarratana, Patrick McDonald (of Artists on Artists on Artists on Artist)
Main Theme:
A playful, meta-crossover episode featuring Angela and Patrick from the improvisational podcast Artists on Artists on Artists on Artist (“AOAOAOA”), joining Sean and Hayes of Hollywood Handbook. The episode is a chaotic, affectionate exploration of podcasting cultures, improv dynamics, community, gratitude, and the convoluted mechanics of both show’s in-jokes—set against the backdrop of a “Pride episode” and recurring bits about hot chicken, employee tip-pools, and identity.
The episode centers on:
Quote:
“What we actually ended up with is artists on. Artists on. Nobody on Jack Shit.”
— Richie (02:36)
Quote:
“It would be kind of crazy to have 200 episodes plus of a podcast that’s fake just so I could bring on a friend to defend me.”
— Angela (05:37)
Quote:
“If I’m just finding out [you’re queer], it’s not that much pride.”
— Patrick (10:43)
Quote:
“When the tip hits, mama, look out.”
— Patrick (17:56)
Quote:
“My entire body of work, the hundreds and hundreds of episodes that we've done on this show, you come in here and I'm just cis.”
— Richie (44:24)
Meta-podcasting moment (03:08):
“We have an opportunity here, I think, to kind of diagnose what's been going wrong. Get under the hood...and fix this bad bird so we can all kind of succeed.”
— Patrick
Surreal improv bit (07:27):
“The former US Poet Laurate, Amanda Gorman, couldn’t solve this and has a podcast.”
— Patrick
On community (17:00):
“The end goal is let's make a great podcast.”
— Patrick
On queer visibility & tokenism (10:43):
“If I'm just finding out [you're queer], it's not that much pride.”
— Patrick
On ephemeral existence (28:04):
“Literally, you did not exist before the episode started. And the second it ends, you cease to exist again.”
— Patrick
Playful self-critique (44:24):
“My entire body of work, the hundreds and hundreds of episodes that we've done on this show, you come in here and I'm just cis.”
— Richie