Danny McBride, Our Close Friend

Summary

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Hollywood Handbook – "Danny McBride, Our Close" (June 30, 2026)

Podcast: Hollywood Handbook, iHeartPodcasts
Guest: Danny McBride

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Main Theme

This episode explores the shifting landscape of "modern masculinity" with signature Hollywood Handbook absurdity and wit. Regular hosts Hayes and Sean (with recurring contributors like Richie, Kevin, Matt, and Casey) welcome comedic actor/writer Danny McBride. The group satirizes the concept of fragile masculinity, workplace pecking orders, creative aspiration, and the artifice of Hollywood "insider" talk, all through extended bits, quick banter, and surreal role-playing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Core Celebrity Group & AI Recap

• The show begins with a rapid-fire "name game" of classic Hollywood actors (Meg Ryan, Richard Gere, Michelle Pfeiffer), evolving into a running joke on who the show's “core frame group” is.
• Danny McBride proposes an AI assistant to recap the episode, leading to a recurring bit where Kevin's AI provides unexpected summaries.
• (02:10) Hayes: “We publish that [AI recap]. Maybe just make that the podcast.”

2. Book Release Hypothetical

• The fake book Thrilling Tales of Modern Men is discussed—satirizing self-help culture and exclusivity.
• Suggested distribution method: one centrally located book on a single shelf, creating competition and “community.”
  • Hayes (03:03): “Good place to do a little frottage.”
  • Danny McBride (03:15): "I leave the studio for five minutes and all of a sudden you get real brave in there…I’ll tell you what, you were not chiming in without being asked when I was down there."

3. Modern Masculinity & “Poozies”

• Main topic centers on fragile masculinity, with self-aware group roasts and invented slang ("poozy" for a fragile man).
  • Danny McBride (06:46): "Can I say this? A lot of these modern men are anything but."
  • Hayes (07:01): "Full blown poozies. And that includes every single guy that works on this show."
• Extended riff on how every show staffer is a “medical grade poozy.”
• (08:28) Danny McBride volunteers to “scrub in for surgery,” setting up a men’s group therapy parody.
• Hayes details getting his “tea drained”—absurd metaphor for masculine energy, influencing sexual orientation and vision acuity.
  • (11:13) Hayes: “I’ve made plans and sometimes I show up to those plans and be like, this is, this ain’t going to work.”
  • Danny McBride (12:27): “If I could lighten the mood a little bit...I of course have boba tea.”

4. Staff Therapy—Richie, Casey, Kevin

Richie:

• Admits leaving professional breakdancing to have kids was his "original sin."
  • Hayes (15:53): “I think that was the original sin.”
  • Decision to reclaim breakdancing dreams, supported by the "men’s group."
  • Danny McBride (16:34): “People just say, hey, I need help. I need you to call my wife for me and just tell her that I’m gonna be breakdancing again...”

Casey:

• Shares disappointment as a director after seeing "Disclosure Day," a movie that he feels achieved everything he wanted creatively.
  • Casey (25:23): “I was upset because they did everything that I really wanted.”
  • The group debates creative defeat and instructing vs. directing.

Kevin:

• Becomes symbol of terminal “poozy”—living in Pittsburgh for a “cure” that eludes him.
  • Hayes (33:45): "Kevin has become a medical grade poozy."
  • Kevin (33:51): "It's terminal."
  • Discussion of naming his son Desmond after a Lost character, leading to wide-ranging riffs on pop culture and ensemble casts.

5. Bizarre Confessional: Sean's Psychosexual Game

• Sean launches into a darkly comic confession of his own “sick psychosexual game”—in which his wife seduces young men and he dispatches them, collecting musical instruments in the process.
  • Sean (43:33): "Dastardly cuckold fetish. She will seduce younger men in front of me...and ultimately murder the men and put them in the river."
  • Danny McBride (44:22): "I think that's pretty healthy."
• The group discusses the "benefits" (getting free pianos), and whether this cycle will ever end with catharsis (“coming”).
  • Danny McBride (46:15): "After it's done. After it's done."
  • Danny McBride (46:55): “I’m really looking forward to making my own tapioca pearls and, you know, doing a very explosive ejaculation when this finally sort of comes to pass.”
  • Hayes (47:13): "That feeling when the big straw is kind of like blocked up a little bit by the pearls."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Danny McBride (06:46): “A lot of these modern men are anything but.”
• Hayes (07:01): “Full blown poozies. And that includes every single guy that works on this show.”
• Danny McBride (16:34): “It’s so important to support each other…something that is so cool about what’s happening now in the male community is that people just say, hey, I need help.”
• Co-host/Interviewer (17:02): “Men have never known how to ask for help until literally right now in this moment, in all of history.”
• Casey (25:23): “I was upset because they did everything that I really wanted.”
• Co-host/Interviewer (37:05): “That's just what Chat would think we were doing, right?”
• Sean (43:33): "Dastardly cuckold fetish…let the snails crawl up and down my arms and ultimately murder the men."
• Danny McBride (46:15/46:55): “After it’s done…doing a very explosive ejaculation…”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:17] - [03:15]: Opening actor/name game and conceit of the episode ("AI assistant" and main book joke)
• [06:15] - [08:07]: Modern masculinity, “poozies,” and group therapy premise
• [15:31] - [16:34]: Richie’s breakdancing “men’s group” therapy
• [24:48] - [27:09]: Casey discusses filmmaking disappointment and the impact of “Disclosure Day”
• [33:13] - [36:37]: Kevin’s “terminal poozy” bit, Pittsburgh, and ensemble cast riff
• [43:33] - [45:49]: Sean’s psychosexual game confession and group verdict

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Flow & Tone

The episode maintains Hollywood Handbook’s quick, absurd, and surreal comedic rhythm, with self-referential bits and a blend of meta-layered Hollywood satire. Danny McBride complements this spirit with dry humor and willingness for bits, often dropping his own comedic “diagnoses” or one-liners. The group seamlessly transitions between personal confessions, workplace parody, and surreal flights of fancy.

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Final Takeaways

• The episode lampoons the tropes of modern masculinity, workplace self-help, and “men’s groups,” with each staffer offered a tongue-in-cheek chance at group therapy or advice.
• Personal and professional disappointments (creative, familial, or existential) are reimagined as elaborate, deadpan running jokes.
• Danny McBride fits seamlessly into the show’s playful, anarchic energy, providing both support and roasts in equal measure.

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If you missed the episode, this summary delivers the unabashedly weird, hilarious, and subversive approach Hollywood Handbook takes to big topics—anchored by Danny McBride being very much "one of the boys".

Transcript

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[Hayes]

Meg Ryan. Richard Gere.

[Danny McBride]

Richard Gere.

[Hayes]

Michelle Pfeiffer.

[Danny McBride]

Michelle Pfeiffer. Can I do Rubert Grant, Mr. Okay, that's fine. I was gonna get wrong anyway. I asked to do one. Hey, is there a delay? Can you not hear me?

[Hayes]

There is a little delay, I think.

[Danny McBride]

Okay. Yeah, I hope so. I hope so because I asked to do one and I think Danny would have liked to see me do one.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I would have liked to have seen

[Hayes]

you whisper to me. It's not doing one. It's just like that. Those are the name. They've kind of been with us from the beginning. Those are our guys.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That's it.

[Hayes]

That's our core frame group.

[Danny McBride]

The meeting's being recorded. I'm going to approve that.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Have it transcribe it to the AI. Write everything down.

[Danny McBride]

I'd like the AI assistant to describe what's happening. Actually, you know what, that's a good idea. Kevin, can you run the AI assistant during this? And then maybe the last two minutes of the episode can be you describing back to us what the AI assistant thinks was happening.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

This would be helpful, I think.

[Hayes]

And we publish that.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, just make that the podcast.

[Hayes]

I mean you like you've done like it can happen.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep.

[Hayes]

Like you can take your ideas, you can translate them, you can put that in a book and if they're good.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

If they're good. Yeah, that's the if. That's the if.

[Hayes]

Hayes Danny McBride, thank you for joining us today. The book is Thrilling Tales of Modern Men.

[Richie]

On.

[Hayes]

Is it shelves or is it just kind of one shelf? And they come to the book.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I think we're going to find one centrally located shelf, and people will have to find their way there.

[Danny McBride]

It's so much better.

[Casey]

Yeah, right.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You just. You save on a lot of shipping, and it creates that communal experience.

[Hayes]

People are, like, gathered around. They're. They're talking about the book. They're, like, maybe kind of pushing each other a little bit.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Maybe they're fighting copies. Yeah.

[Hayes]

Good place to do a little frottage.

[Richie]

I'd get in that line.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

Was that Richie? Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Who said that?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Get in line, Richie.

[Danny McBride]

Richie. I leave the studio for five minutes, and all of a sudden you get real brave in there. I'll tell you what, you were not chiming in without being asked when I was down there. What kind of ship are you?

[Richie]

Run.

[Hayes]

Richie.

[Danny McBride]

This is some of the modern masculinity that you don't see anymore.

[Hayes]

No. So this is actually. I'm so glad you're here. This is what we want to talk about. Richie did text me on the way in that he was feeling froggy today.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay.

[Hayes]

And he was getting ready to hop, and I think we're seeing that now.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep.

[Richie]

I'm hopping all over the place.

[Hayes]

You, Danny, you know, we. We go back a little bit.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

We have. For a long time.

[Hayes]

For a long time.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You. You started. You and I worked together the first time in, what, the third season of.

[Hayes]

Fourth season. When it got good.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, when it got. No, you were the third, weren't you? Weren't you in Myrtle Beach?

[Hayes]

They brought me in the third to, like, do emergency surgery on it.

[Casey]

Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yes.

[Hayes]

And then they brought me in for the fourth.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Speaker]

They.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You're me.

[Casey]

Amy.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I brought you in.

[Hayes]

Amy and Steve. No, no, they were in.

[Casey]

It.

[Hayes]

It was really. It was Steve Baker.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I said, we need help. We need help. And. And they get. They brought us.

[Hayes]

You and I. And I think I was. For a couple.

[Danny McBride]

I think I had a gig.

[Hayes]

You had a little something going on.

[Danny McBride]

Just to say, I would obviously. Huge fan of the show. Love what Hayes did on the show. Love what you did on the show. And I think I had something at that point, which is just unfortunate because it would have been fun for all three of us to work together.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That would.

[Danny McBride]

I'm already feeling, actually, that this, you know, the dynamic is. And maybe we find something.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It was weird. Hayes was like, I have no friends. I have no one. That would Be good at this job. Except for me, it was really a str.

[Hayes]

Because you asked.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I said, are there other guys like you that are really funny and know what they're doing? And you're like, I. I can't name one.

[Hayes]

Unfortunately, no. And at the time, like you said, Sean had another thing going. He was you. You're making your album and I think that was what you needed to do in that moment. It was kind of Stomp.

[Danny McBride]

Have you spun the record, Danny?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I haven't. I'm curious. What was the genre?

[Danny McBride]

Well, Hayes is just telling you it was like a stomp kind of. It was stomp adjacent.

[Unidentified Speaker]

Okay.

[Danny McBride]

It wasn't as forceful as Stomp.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So you were like banging pots and pans around.

[Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)]

Banging.

[Danny McBride]

Not banging, not banging. Playing kind of tapping pots and pans.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay. Okay.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah.

[CarMax Advertiser]

Clanging.

[Nissan Advertiser]

Okay.

[Danny McBride]

I had a. I had. I had a broom that I would just kind of poke at, but I wouldn't do the whole, like.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You have to find a way to make yourself different from the Stomp guys.

[Hayes]

Obviously. It's dangerous what they do. Like, you could never do that to them, Danny.

[Danny McBride]

It kills.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Does it?

[Danny McBride]

It kills your legs and hands.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I bet it's a lot of moving around.

[Danny McBride]

Kills.

[Hayes]

Because they have to get to the back of the house. But imagine for your ears are right next to it.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. And so you're feeling those concussive blows.

[Hayes]

It fucking kills.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I see. It's dangerous work.

[Hayes]

But I've watched you over the years get asked in interviews about modern masculinity and what's going on with young men these days.

[Danny McBride]

We gotta help them.

[Hayes]

And I want to give you the opportunity to finally say, give it to me what you really feel, which is

[Co-host/Interviewer]

that we're all very fragile.

[Hayes]

We're all so fragile.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You. All my fragiles right here in this room, y'. All my fragiles.

[Danny McBride]

Can I say this? A lot of these modern men are anything but.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

No, some. Some of our antiquated, we would say. Right. Old timey.

[Hayes]

A lot of them are.

[Danny McBride]

It's true.

[Hayes]

Poozies.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. Poozies. Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Hayes]

Full blown poozies. And that includes every single guy that works on this show.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yes. Poozies.

[Danny McBride]

The whole show. Big Mr. And Mr. Poon Tang at your acquaintance.

[Hayes]

It's one poozy after another in here.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Is that a requirement for the hiring of people?

[Hayes]

It seems like, yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Shook out that way, but it's something in the water, man. Something I'm giving off.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I Could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope. It's fragile masculinity. Yep.

[Hayes]

And it starts with Richie right here.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It can be enticing.

[Danny McBride]

I am what I eat.

[Hayes]

What are you. Sorry. So Richie just said, I am what I eat. He got stepped on a little bit, but he give space to him. He's saying that he eats poozy.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You eat a lot of poozies.

[Danny McBride]

I'm actually gonna go out of the

[Hayes]

room so much, he became one.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep. Well, that's the natural evolution for a lot of people that find themselves as poozies these days.

[Hayes]

They ate so much of it.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep.

[Hayes]

It got in the bloodstream.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. Makes them fragile.

[Hayes]

And so I think we just go one by one today through the crew here.

[Unidentified Speaker]

Okay.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

And we just. We right some wrongs that have been done over the years to them by their parents and families.

[Danny McBride]

There's a lot of old wounds in here.

[Hayes]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Do you mind scrubbing in for surgery, Dr. McBride?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I think I'm ready. Bring them to me.

[Hayes]

I might not be as equipped to talk about this today. I just got my tea drained.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, really?

[Hayes]

I don't talk about it. That you know this about me, but I have giga t. Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Lots of that. That's an excess of tea, right?

[Hayes]

Excessive tea.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep.

[Hayes]

And so it is.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I've sensed that about you.

[Hayes]

It is. It comes. I squirt, basically. And so, like, I squirt pure tea.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You like lactate, like out of your breasts. Where does it squirt from?

[Hayes]

It squirts out of it. Has created a new orifice.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, sick.

[Hayes]

Underneath. So I lift up the kind of.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah. Sick.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Is there maintenance required after the leakage? Do you have to do some cleanup?

[Hayes]

So I try. I try to avoid to be proactive rather than reactive.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You milk it.

[Hayes]

I get it. I basically get it tapped like a maple tree.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Beautiful.

[Hayes]

And so I donate that.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You donate. I was wondering what you were going to do with this excess tea. You give it to people.

[Hayes]

It's great. It is pure. They call it chamomile tea because you. It's. If you have it, you can wear full on mossy oak duck camo.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Wow.

[Hayes]

And run.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And no one will see you.

[Hayes]

And then almost a whole mile.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Wow.

[Hayes]

Wow.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And then you.

[Hayes]

They do see you. Because the way you're running is not.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's not like anything that's ever existed on the earth before. Yeah.

[Hayes]

And there's no. You're not wearing an orange vest. So you are getting shot.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. They're like, here. Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

If I could jump in, Hayes, I feel like a lot of people listen going like, oh, I wish I had that much tea. Oh, I would kill for so much tea. Like it sounds like a luxury. Sometimes when people don't have enough, they go, oh, it's so great. But it's not easy, is it?

[Hayes]

It's not.

[Danny McBride]

It's a challenge.

[Hayes]

It is a challenge.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What's the biggest thing you notice when your teas drained? How are you different? How does it affect you?

[Hayes]

I am a lot more. I would say my sexual orientation changes completely.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That's pretty awesome.

[Hayes]

Whatever I have going on that day, you flip it. Yes. And so if I wake up bi. That's nor then I end the day by then you end the day by. Because that's the opposite. It's like if you flip by around

[Danny McBride]

just exactly, it's the same thing, 180

[Co-host/Interviewer]

degrees, then you end up in the same spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

[Danny McBride]

Well, not the same spot makes sense.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

And so it can just wake up and you go, I like your voice.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. You know, you don't know what your proclivities are going to be by the end by nighttime.

[Hayes]

And I've made plans and so sometimes I show up to those plans and be like, this is. This ain't going to work.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. When did you first realize that it was going to benefit your life to drain the tea?

[Hayes]

I. So this was a plan that my mom sort of devised. My mom became like sort of an amateur scientist, like doctor. And so she developed this whole plan for me. And I like once I was ready to like start going to school, like once she had the whole apparatus set up, I would wheel the apparatus along with me to school. It was her invention.

[Casey]

Wow.

[Danny McBride]

Hayes, before we go on, just because I think you talking about your orientation was so important.

[Unidentified Speaker]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Danny, do you want to deliver a message to our biphobic listeners?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. You know, obviously there, there should be no judgment on bifolks or bifocals. You have to wear those.

[Hayes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You know, a simple tea drain can change all of our orientations.

[Hayes]

Obviously that's. I mean that is one thing that the positive about draining the tea. It does. Like my vision becomes great.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

They talk about a predator.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

I mean I'm like, I'm like a hawk.

[Danny McBride]

If I could lighten the mood a little bit. I would like to say Hayes has giga tea, but I of course have boba tea.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Beautiful.

[Danny McBride]

Is it the tapioca

[Co-host/Interviewer]

elements when you drain that? I'm sure it's a little messier, I'm sure. Right.

[Hayes]

They've installed a little, you know, the plastic lid, the plastic film.

[Danny McBride]

No, I don't spill a drop. I drain it straight into my.

[Hayes]

He loves boba.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yes.

[Hayes]

He loves drinking boba.

[Danny McBride]

Daniel.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Every flavor, all the flavors, all the bobas.

[Danny McBride]

It doesn't matter. All of them are good.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, that's fantastic. And you make it on. You make your own. That's great.

[Hayes]

I call him.

[Richie]

I call him.

[Hayes]

I call him Tarot Reed.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's a good name.

[Hayes]

It's one of the flavors. He loves them all tarot, though.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That is a. Yeah, but they're all named after.

[Danny McBride]

They're all named after cast members of America. American Pie.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I call.

[Hayes]

Yeah, I don't. I never looked up if she was in this, but I call him Lychee Sobieski.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I don't think she was an American Pie, but I still haven't looked it up.

[Hayes]

Haven't looked it up. But it does seem like she was prominent.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

For the, for the classic Limon flavor.

[Unidentified Speaker]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

Natasha, one Limon only, mode, por favor.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

So we'll start with Richie. Richie has just basically been encroaching on this table like tectonic plates since we started here. This is like month two. We had Bill Macy in here for our first episode.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, look, Al.

[Danny McBride]

Not too bad, huh?

[Hayes]

And this Richie basically got an appetite as soon as he saw.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Got a taste for it.

[Richie]

I did.

[Hayes]

As soon as he saw us, like, chopping it up with Bill. Bill likes us.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, that's great.

[Hayes]

By the end, that's great news because

[Co-host/Interviewer]

he, he doesn't like a lot of fun.

[Danny McBride]

Bill had a lot of fun in the studio doing this one. He, he really let his hair down. I, I, I, I, I enjoyed that episode because it was so fun to see Bill have fun.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I bet. I bet it was.

[Unidentified Speaker]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Something about it.

[Hayes]

He sent us some.

[Danny McBride]

Go ahead. You were saying?

[Hayes]

He sent after he has a rye.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, really? And how was that? Delicious.

[Hayes]

I am. I haven't cracked it yet out of respect.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Just keep it as a souvenir.

[Hayes]

Yeah, but Richie's like, oh, that, like, I can't wait for when we, like, open that up. It's like it was not. He was not sending it to you. It wasn't like a, like, you are not part of that. Yeah. And it's good to, I think, make this clear now, set some parameters. The Don Gato.

[Casey]

Mm.

[Hayes]

That's not yours either. It could be.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It could be. Depending on what sort of Things you add to this conversation, we'll see what happens.

[Richie]

All right, I'm gonna have to brush up on some stuff then.

[Hayes]

Richie, I think it's time to talk about the. You do break dancing?

[Richie]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Mm.

[Richie]

I did it professionally until I was, like, 30.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Wow. That's really cool. Yeah. How old are you now?

[Richie]

Old enough to be a dad.

[Hayes]

And I think that was. I think that was the original sin.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Breakdancing.

[Hayes]

I think it was leaving. Breakdancing to have children.

[Richie]

I think so.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

And I think it is time to go back.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Leave it and break dance.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

On the table.

[Richie]

I just want to dance.

[Hayes]

Yes, that's right.

[Richie]

Sounds good. I'll tell my wife.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, Let her know. We'll call her. If you want to.

[Richie]

That'll be easier.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[CarMax Advertiser]

If you guys.

[Danny McBride]

That's part of being a modern man is you do tell your wife.

[Hayes]

And if you're too afraid, you're not

[Danny McBride]

asking her, but you do let her in on.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny McBride]

And you have your friends help, too. We're a community, aren't we?

[Unidentified Speaker]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

I mean, it's so. It's so. It's so important to support each other. And I think that something that is so cool about what's happening now in the male community is that people just say, hey, I need help. I need help. I need you to call my wife for me and just tell her that I'm gonna be break dancing again and that I am gonna start drinking energy drinks again, even though I was supposed to never have them anymore.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's so true. You know, I've learned on this press tour that people have told me that men have never known how to ask for help until literally right now in this moment, in all of history.

[Danny McBride]

Just happened.

[Hayes]

It just happened. It happened two Fridays ago.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep. And we've never known how to do that until right now.

[Hayes]

Richie. We don't.

[Danny McBride]

We don't ask for directions, do we, Danny?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

No, we don't.

[Danny McBride]

We don't want to do that. I'll figure it out.

[Hayes]

We know shortcut.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That's how guys work.

[Hayes]

So stupid.

[Danny McBride]

Oh, my God. We're. We. We should be extinct.

[Hayes]

Richie has an idea that maybe we can run by you. Let me hear it, Danny. Let me hear it from his breakdancing days that he's been texting me about also.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Well, this should be good, which is

[Hayes]

he texts me two words, and then I think he goes to bed or something and forgets probably to, like, send what the two words are. And so, like, a couple days later, I'd be like, what word? What. What are you talking about? What are the two words? And he text me. Oh, yeah, White Jabbawockies.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, white jab. Those are the guys from America's Got Talent, right?

[Richie]

America's best dance crew.

[Hayes]

America's best dance crew.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I always get those two mixed up.

[Hayes]

Hey, can you disagree with Danny?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Sorry, you're right.

[Hayes]

Going forward. And not just be like, dance cre. Can you not make him look like a fucking idiot on this show?

[Richie]

I'm just overstepping left and right.

[Hayes]

Okay. America's Got Talent. So anyway, what do you think?

[Danny McBride]

Maybe that's what made you such a good breakdancer, huh? Overstepping? Were you on America's Best Dance Crew, Richie?

[Richie]

No, but I was on America's Got Talent, and so youo Think youk Can Dance.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So youo Think youk Can Dance and

[Richie]

a bunch of music videos.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That's great. That's great.

[Hayes]

So what. But what do you think of the idea?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I think why not?

[Hayes]

You know, why not?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Why not? Let's go for it. Jabberwockies. It's only fair they were always masked, right? Yep. So who knows? It could have been a bunch of white guys. We don't know.

[Hayes]

Yeah, but now this is making it very clear. Yeah, it's making that. It's making that explicit. Yeah, that this one is.

[Danny McBride]

And the masks will be clear. We'll be literally making it clear. Because the masks will be clear now because it's going to be white faces anyway, so.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay, so that's the idea of it.

[Unidentified Speaker]

Okay.

[Hayes]

All right.

[Danny McBride]

And then if Shaq does come dance with the Jabbawkis again, it'll be, you know, different than was when Shaq danced with the Jabbawkis the first time. Did you ever see that, Danny?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I. I didn't. It sounds like something I should go look up after this.

[Danny McBride]

So. Kevin, it's. So make a note. Let's send a link to Danny. Shaq dances with the Jabba.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Please send that to me.

[Hayes]

Yeah, and send him, like, make sure he has the right, like, password, the right login information for the link. We have a new proprietary screening software.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, wow.

[Hayes]

That we're deploying.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay. Yes. Give me the inputs, please.

[Danny McBride]

It's Vidi Yum. It's called Vidium.

[Hayes]

It's called.

[Danny McBride]

It's so delicious.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yes.

[Danny McBride]

And it's yummy. Delicious videos. And it's all your favorite memories of Shaq and the Jabberwockies. And we have three other videos up there as well.

[Hayes]

Wow. It's 51 factor authentication.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Wow. Well, as it should be, if you're sharing such, you know, treasured moments.

[Hayes]

Casey. Casey's here as well. Casey. Can you say hello, please?

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Casey]

Hi. How's it going? I'm Casey.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Hi, Casey.

[Danny McBride]

Hey, Casey. Where's the Sunshine Band?

[Hayes]

Sean has not met Casey before.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

He's only heard.

[Danny McBride]

So we haven't met in person. I've heard his voice before on the show.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And you just have little digs for him, like, where's the Sunshine Band? Casey?

[Danny McBride]

I don't think that's negative.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I mean, I don't think that's, you know, it's. It's playful.

[Danny McBride]

I'd love to meet the Sunshine Band.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep. Casey and Jojo. Maybe.

[Hayes]

Casey is a director.

[Danny McBride]

Better.

[Hayes]

He has a lot of thoughts about Halloween. Your. Your. Your. Your take on Halloween.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay.

[Hayes]

Just like what he would have done.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You know, those questions are better suited for David Green. Any. Anything you liked about Halloween you talked to me about. Anything you didn't like about Halloween, you talk obviously to David Green.

[Hayes]

Do you want to pass it to David? And Casey can just, like, go down the list now and, like, maybe we get in there.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Casey.

[Hayes]

What. What I think he. What I remember him saying is, tell me you've never seen the G School without telling me you've never seen the G School.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Well, you know, again, I have seen the G School, so I don't know if David has. David has. David was going to adapt Suspiria at one point, so. Oh, really? I think he has. So Casey.

[Hayes]

Casey calls him Super Dario.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Super Dario. It's pretty cool. I like that.

[Hayes]

It is cool.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That is good.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Hollywood handbook.

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[Danny McBride]

when we link up?

[Nissan Advertiser]

Because nobody plans anything, bro. Good thing the Rogue's ready like that for real.

Rain, dirt, whatever. Available all wheel drive, five modes. We still outside.

[Hayes]

And they got some kick too.

[Nissan Advertiser]

That turbo torque is crazy. The most in its class.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It moves.

[Nissan Advertiser]

Moves.

Rogue doesn't mess around and peep the space merch on merch. Gear mics. All of it fits.

[Matt]

Load up.

[Nissan Advertiser]

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[Podcast Advertiser]

Tax extra. Hollywood handbook.

[Hayes]

Casey.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Casey. Don't hide. Don't have opinions and then get quiet and hide. I'm not.

[Casey]

Hey, I'm not quiet.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

The is happening.

[Casey]

These are my opinions.

[Danny McBride]

It's true. Where's Jojo?

[Nissan Advertiser]

Thank you.

[Danny McBride]

Thanks. Thanks Danny.

[Hayes]

Casey has actually been saying recently that he is going to give up directing because Disclosure Day said everything that he had to say.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's good that he could identify that that was that. Everything has been explained.

[Hayes]

He has no like, like disappointment feeling about it. Why would he feel that?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

No, it's accomplished. Yep.

[Hayes]

The goal was just that the work got made and now it's happened. Casey, I mean, do you want to speak on that a little bit?

[Casey]

Yeah, I mean I was. I just directed my first movie and then I saw Disclosure Day. And I. I was upset because they did everything that I really wanted.

[Hayes]

Okay. Just said you had no disappointment feeling about it.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And what is it? What were you trying to do? You wanted to have something where people could speak to animals and stuff. What were you. What were you aiming for, Casey?

[Casey]

Well, I just wanted a movie that ended with Disclosure Day, which, as we all know, is the day that we disclose aliens exist. And they did it. And now I. Now it's back to the drawing board or just quit.

[Danny McBride]

And, Casey, were you able to fill a backpack with USB drives in your movie?

[Casey]

I had. I had one ssd. That's it.

[Danny McBride]

Ah, okay.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

And a big bag.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's all. It does seem like that story's been told, unfortunately.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah, yeah, the ssd. Well, and obviously you don't have the budget. Spielberg does.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You could have had all those extras moving in unison, chasing the guy and stuff. You couldn't have done that, probably in your film.

[Casey]

No, I only had a budget for one extra, and I just had him run back and forth in the background the whole time.

[Hayes]

He was trying to kind of instruct people at City Walk. He went to City Walk and was like, we can just, like, wrangle a group of people and get them to do it.

[Casey]

And I like to call it directing. Not really instructing.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Instructing. It sounds like, though.

[Danny McBride]

I mean, it sounds more like instructing. And the way you do it is very instructing. And Casey also was like, I only need a couple people because AI is so good now. He just kept, like, showing me stuff on his phone and being like, look at this. Can you believe this is AI? And I was kind of going like,

[Co-host/Interviewer]

well, yeah, that she has six hands.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, like, he's an artist. You know, he has his own vision. And even though he's never gonna put it out, because Disclosure Day, like, kind of mowed the lawn and, you know, ate his whole lunch. It's still, like, cool that he even took the journey.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

And that's a masculine, modern man.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Don't be so fragile, you know? Don't be. Don't be a fragile.

[Hayes]

Is that your diagnosis?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I think he's being fragile. Fragile, I think. You think you still release it.

[Hayes]

It's like Fragile Rock in here.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, it is.

[Danny McBride]

Oh, yes. Down at Fragile Rock. Down at Fragile Rock. And the doozers are working down there.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

And

[Danny McBride]

it's, you know, Wembley and Gobo and, of course, juniors back there.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

The radishes and the giant trolls eating their constructions. It's all here.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah. The Dog.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

The old man hiding from the dog.

[Danny McBride]

It was Fragile Rock.

[Hayes]

Is Matt here by any chance?

[Matt]

I'm here, yeah.

[Hayes]

Hello, this is Matt.

[Matt]

How's it going?

[Hayes]

Matt hosts a different podcast that is more successful than this one.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, look out. What is that called?

[Hayes]

It's called Get Played.

[CarMax Advertiser]

Okay.

[Hayes]

Make. Make your pitch, Matt.

[Matt]

It's a, you know, it's a video game podcast. We talk about sort of what's going on in video games currently, and then sometimes we talk about, you know, the games from the past, like your Sonic the Hedgehogs and all that stuff.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What's your game now? What's your game now? Fragile.

[Hayes]

He read you right.

[Matt]

Well, right now I've actually read your ass. I got Red to fill.

[Hayes]

I don't even know what got read to Smith.

[Matt]

I like. I like the new James Bond game, 007, first light. Really good.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's great.

[Hayes]

And he's been doing. You play that game at all?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I haven't played it. I've been playing this. This pretty nerdy game called Crimson Desert.

[Hayes]

Okay. All right.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Open world. Massive.

[Hayes]

I'm listening for even a noise of recognition from the video game expert. I didn't hear.

[Matt]

Nice.

[Danny McBride]

It's hard to. It's hard to jump in from zoom. It's hard to jump in from zoom. Well, Matt clearly knows the game. May I say what SMILF stands for?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What does SMILF stand for?

[Danny McBride]

Sensitive man. I'd like to friend.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That's beautiful. That's great.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah. Red to smilf. Matt, one constructive note on your pitch for your podcast, especially someone like Danny, who actually does game and is playing Crimson Desert and could kind of be a pretty effective megaphone for your cause here, when he asks you what the show is, don't go. It's, you know, a video game podcast. Well, no, he doesn't know.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Right.

[Danny McBride]

That's why you're here, to inform him.

[Matt]

I'm sorry.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's fine.

[Danny McBride]

No, it's a constructive note. Look, I don't care. I don't. You think I give a. What happens to your podcast, Danny? Could be a pretty effective megaphone for it, you know, under the right circumstances. But I don't need to, you know, sit here and try to promote your thing. I'm trying to promote my thing. Danny, do you like the show that you're on?

[Matt]

Do I like the show that I'm on?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

No, not.

[Danny McBride]

I'm not talking. I'm done.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I like this. I like how you gave him an opportunity and then you're giving him this constructive direction of how to fix himself. That's what all men should be doing to each other. Drilling it down.

[Hayes]

Carve out that time.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yep. To just really dash somebody's dreams, that's part of what this is all about.

[Hayes]

Did you have something you wanted to say to Danny? Matt?

[Matt]

Do you. Do you like any other games?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What'd you say? Did you just say to me?

[Matt]

Do you like any other game?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Of course I do. I like all kinds of games. What kind of question is that? Do you like any other games?

[Matt]

Like what?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Like whatever. Name it. Uncharted Games. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever games are out there.

[P]

I like Balatro.

[Hayes]

What do you think he's gonna say?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I like Balatro a lot. I've unlocked all the jokers. Every fucking joker and Balatro I've unlocked.

[Matt]

Nice.

[Hayes]

So Matt was testing you. He went all the way to Japan to talk to Jack Black about the Super Mario movie. This is when Casey would say Super Dario. And Jack Black in the interview said he liked Balatro instead of Balatro.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I never actually knew how it was pronounced. Is Balatro or Balatro. How do you say.

[Hayes]

I mean, everyone says Balatro.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Balatro.

[Hayes]

But Matt poozied out, didn't say shit.

[Matt]

Call me Don Gato.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, God. And you just let him get away with it? It's good.

[Hayes]

No, we did an entire episode.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah, we took him to task berating Matt for that.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, as. As you should have.

[Danny McBride]

You guys want any digestives?

[Hayes]

Can you Bring me back McVitties?

[Danny McBride]

Do you want any McVitty's Digestives?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What?

[Hayes]

Like whatever the weight limit is for McVitty's Digestive. Yes. Can you please bring me back some of those, Kevin?

[Danny McBride]

This isn't bad for sound, is it? If I eat McVitty's Digestees during the show. I just. I've had to listen to Matt for a little while and I just need something to settle my stomach.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's probably.

[Hayes]

Should we. I think it's time to actually bring in Kevin here. Can we. We put Kevin on camp.

[Kevin]

Do you guys see me?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. You look great.

[Kevin]

You too, bud.

[Hayes]

So, Kevin, Please don't call him bud.

[Kevin]

Sorry.

[Hayes]

Just in the last few years has become.

[Danny McBride]

If you call him bud, you might get smoked. Sorry, I'm having digest.

[Casey]

Tease.

[Hayes]

Kevin has become a medical grade poozy.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Really?

[Hayes]

In just the last few years.

[Kevin]

Yeah, it's terminal.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's terminal. You're not getting out of this one, huh?

[Hayes]

He has. He has moved to Pittsburgh. Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Total boozy move to tell by the

[Hayes]

light to go to the real pit because only they can Figure it out.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay. And no luck, huh?

[Kevin]

Not yet. I'm still waiting for Dr. Rabinovitch, and he's not answering my calls.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And he got poor Internet connections, too, unfortunately.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah, and no lights in his house.

[Hayes]

He's rearranged the whole.

[Danny McBride]

A year.

[Hayes]

The entire grid of his house. He's put it in the Internet connection, and that's. That's still all we get from him.

[Kevin]

Can you guys not hear me?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What's that?

[Kevin]

I'll turn my camera off and talk louder.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Still not working.

[Kevin]

I'm.

[Hayes]

One of every four words.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

Anyway, he named his son Desmond after his favorite character from Lost.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I remember that guy. He named his kid after him.

[Hayes]

He named his kid after Desmond.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Not a lock or a Sawyer or.

[Hayes]

His favorite character is Desmond.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Richie]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay. Well, yeah, everybody, there's a big cast, so a lot of room for a lot of people to have different favorites.

[Danny McBride]

What a great attitude about it. You know, I think that that is so generous to just immediately point out that the cast was pretty big.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's massive. Everyone can't name their kid Locke. You know, there'd just be too many. It's like Daenerys. You know, everyone named their sons and daughters Daenerys for years.

[Hayes]

So now every kid at school is raising their hand.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, Daenerys.

[Hayes]

When they say Daenerys, raise your hand.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

Who here is Darius.

[Danny McBride]

Is going to be named Mr. Echo Russo. Just get them all. Top three in there, you know, because it's a very big cast.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It is massive.

[Kevin]

Huge.

[Hayes]

Huge.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Huge ensemble.

[Danny McBride]

So crazy.

[Kevin]

Ensemble.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Are you okay?

[Kevin]

I love an ensemble.

[Hayes]

What were you reacting to when you said so crazy?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's how massive that cast is. Just think about how big it is. How many of them?

[Unidentified Speaker]

Yeah,

[Co-host/Interviewer]

So many of them. With so many stories.

[Danny McBride]

Oh, man. Oh, you know what? That should be a podcast.

[Kevin]

The Lost Stories. The Lost Boys.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Can you hear him again? Did his Internet cut out?

[Hayes]

I see he's talking. Yeah, I didn't hear any of that.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I can't hear anything.

[Danny McBride]

Kevin, can I get an update on what AI thinks we've been discussing?

[Kevin]

Yes. An episode of Hollywood Handbook podcast with Danny McBride would feature surreal collision between host's signature passive aggressive tinseltown phoniness and McBride's mastery of unhinged confidence. Anti heroes.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That sounds like what?

[Danny McBride]

That's not.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That's not. That's not what we're doing here, though. That's just what Chat would think we were doing. Right?

[Danny McBride]

Yeah.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Do you understand what I was saying with.

[Kevin]

I did. I was locked out of the Zoom AI companionship. They underlined the word companionship for the reason, so it just kind of gave me this synopsis of what the episode would be.

[Danny McBride]

Oh, okay.

[Hayes]

It doesn't want to be.

[Danny McBride]

Well, I thank you. I thank you for answering, even though you didn't do what I asked.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It seems like I don't want to get involved with this work stuff, but it seems like the problem is that you should probably move back here. It doesn't seem like you're able to do what you think I should. Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't seem like you're getting the answers you need out there.

[Hayes]

You're.

[Kevin]

You got an extra bunk bed over there, friend.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah. I feel like you're just in shadows.

[Hayes]

You're.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You're like a shadow man.

[Nissan Advertiser]

Huh?

[Kevin]

Maybe I moved back.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Are you guys.

[Kevin]

Maybe the Internet cut out. I asked something about having an extra bunk bed.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Hayes, you never like it when people leave. I've known. I've known that about you. You get upset. Does this bother you that he moved

[Hayes]

away and they just keep walking out on me?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That's what happens one by one.

[Hayes]

I did develop a pretty special connection to Kevin's wife.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Oh, is that why he had to leave?

[Hayes]

And all of a sudden they're moving. They're, you know, it's off to Pittsburgh.

[Danny McBride]

I'm taking my wife and going home. Right. These fragile masculinities.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

What was the. What. What were you. Why were you guys so close? What were you guys. What did you all have in common?

[Hayes]

So she makes costumes. Correct. She does wardrobe for movies.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And she's in the biz.

[Hayes]

She's in the biz. And it just turns out she'd be like, can I just, like, test some stuff on you? Can I.

[Danny McBride]

Can you, Like a fit model, essentially, which is a very common part of the fashion industry. A very good friend who is the butt in a lot of jeans,

[Hayes]

and she told me that I am what they call in the business, her business, a mystique, which is that I transform into whatever character they put the. They. When they put the clothes on me, I become that person. Wow. Like, mystique. I hadn't. I guess that's from the X Men. From the X Men, Yeah. So I don't.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You know, I can see that, though. I could see how clothes can completely transform you.

[Hayes]

So we develop. I mean, just like I was experiencing all these different sides of myself. The queen.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You did it. You put a queen costume on my.

[Hayes]

Was the queen. Yes. A lot of different ones.

[Danny McBride]

Homelander from the boys. He was the queen. He was Homelander.

[Hayes]

And this was her pitching, working on these shows. She didn't work on them. I guess this is how you, like, do stuff on spec. Obviously, you'd be like, here's my take on the queen.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Can I just show you Hayes as Jack Ryan real quick? And then you let me know if you want me to do this for the show. So he would be Jack Ryan.

[Hayes]

Anyway, one morning, I go to their house and try to walk right in

[Co-host/Interviewer]

like I always did.

[Hayes]

But, no, it was.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It was locked. Oh, God. And then that. That's when you decided you had to leave, huh? You had to get your. Your wife out of here.

[Hayes]

Well, he was already gone.

[Danny McBride]

I think he decided.

[Hayes]

Yeah, he was already. That's why it was locked. I should have said that.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

I should have made that more clear. He had already left.

[Danny McBride]

No, that's not on you, Danny.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay.

[Danny McBride]

The way Hayes told it was confused.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It was confusing the time, because I've

[Danny McBride]

heard the story before. I knew, actually, that. That, yeah, he had decided before that to leave.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Well, that's one of those. Those Tinseltown tragedy tales, you know? Yeah.

[Hayes]

It's just littered with them out here, unfortunately.

[Danny McBride]

There's a lot of them. You know, I'll tell you the thing about life. No one gets out alive, and nowhere is that more true than in Tinseltown.

[Hayes]

Kevin says that they call Pittsburgh Pitzeltown Pitzel Town.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

That makes sense. Yeah. Oh, he turned his lights off.

[Hayes]

Oh, the light went on.

[Kevin]

Good morning, everyone.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

A whole different guy now. Yeah.

[Casey]

Whoa.

[Danny McBride]

I could see everything

[Podcast Advertiser]

I can.

[Hayes]

Anything for Kevin. Any diagnosis, anything you're picking up, you know, can he be fixed?

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I think he can. Honestly. I think I was basing a lot of my judgments on. I was filling in his facial features because he was in the dark. And now that I can see his eyes, I can see his cheeks, I can see his strong mustache.

[Hayes]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I think that there is a unfragile man in there.

[Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Ad)]

So he.

[Hayes]

We haven't seen. He has been in the dark for the last, like, couple months, basically, since he moved to Pittsburgh, and he had been telling us in the dark. I hadn't seen the results. He has been on what's called hose epic for the last couple months to make you a hoe, and he has been planning on becoming a skinny hoe. Absolutely disgraceful hoe out there.

[Danny McBride]

His whole ass is shaking for anybody.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

It's great. I like that. You got to take a shot for that.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah, it's. It's really. It's really a massive transformation that we're witnessing now.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

And you look. You look healthy, though.

[Danny McBride]

Big reveal.

[Kevin]

Yeah, I feel healthy.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Speaker]

And what.

[Hayes]

What for now?

[Danny McBride]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

What percent hoe are you right now?

[Kevin]

I'm 98.

[Hayes]

98.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

When will you know that you've reached the. The hoe level you're looking for? Like, you don't want to go too

[Hayes]

far, don't want to go over.

[Kevin]

Yeah. My doctor just said you'.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay.

[Hayes]

Okay.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You just wake up in a ditch somewhere. Yeah. Clothes are all tore up. I'm finally where I want it to

[Hayes]

be like the night.

[Danny McBride]

I want you to be able to chase that. You know, I don't want to stand in your way. I think people should make their own choices.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Danny, I mean, I hate to turn the microscope on myself here, but you've been so helpful to all of our other employees, and I. They are. I do consider them employees. And I am the boss. I'm stuck in something of a sick psychosexual game with my wife.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Okay.

[Danny McBride]

Dastardly cuckold fetish. She will seduce younger men in front of me at the many parties we throw. I make navigation systems for missiles and drones, and so, you know, I've done quite well financially. But in the small town that we live in, there's a, you know, sort of this Gatsby esque element to our home where people will gather there. And she'll, you know, find a young piano instructor and make eyes with him and the two of them will abscond to the greenhouse and, you know, I'll go stew on it in my snail shack, let the snails crawl up and down my arms and ultimately murder the men and put them in the river.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Great.

[Danny McBride]

That's great.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I think, I think that's pretty healthy. Is it? Is it? You're. You're in the snail house. You. You understand when to go in there and it's a shack.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, I think it's fine. And it seems like she's going.

[Casey]

You're.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You're luring in artistic people, right? Piano players. Isn't that what you say? Primarily.

[Hayes]

And she's doing most of the luring. Right. Although the line.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

The.

[Hayes]

The luring is blurring at this point.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

But if you're going to try to kill any of your wife's lovers, it seems like an artist is going to be the easiest one to kill. You don't want her going after, like, strong guys, military men, soldiers, you know, the guy who plays the piano. That's easy pickings.

[Hayes]

Well, you have to carry It.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Hayes]

To and from the lesson.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah, yeah. Just the nature of the way our house is set up. He doesn't have to carry the piano inside.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Not the. Yeah, yeah. Well, then you get a free piano once he's gone.

[Hayes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny McBride]

Well, that's been one of the benefits. And as you know, there's been a few different instruments that have come my way just as a result of. Of the cuckolding, you know, she was. Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You referred to it as dastardly cuckolding.

[Hayes]

It's a sick psychosexual game.

[Danny McBride]

Yeah, it's a sick psychosexual game and it's a. It's a dastardly cycle, to be sure. So I just don't know, you know, is there something I should be doing about that? Hey, this is what, this is what these kind of rap sessions are for, right? You get together, men's group.

[Hayes]

Yeah, this is new.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Men have never been able to talk like this with each other.

[Danny McBride]

We stepped out of the damn group chat. The group chat came to life.

[Nissan Advertiser]

Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You know, I think you're. I think you're doing great. I think that. I think you're handling it all wonderful. Do you come when this is done or no?

[Richie]

Huh?

[Nissan Advertiser]

I.

[Danny McBride]

Not when it's not immediately. When it's done.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

When the body's out of the house.

[Danny McBride]

After it's done. After it's done.

[Hayes]

What stage? When, after.

[Danny McBride]

So I'm looking forward to ultimately coming, which I think is going to feel really good from what I'm told. And that will happen after it's, you know, done in whatever way this ends.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Gotcha.

[Danny McBride]

My own death in the river.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

You're edging right now. Just holding out, huh? Well, I bet you it's gonna be great when it finally happens. A lot of built ups come. Probably going to be incredible. Probably some boba tea in there.

[Danny McBride]

I'm really looking forward to making my own tapioca pearls and, you know, doing a very explosive ejaculation when this finally sort of comes to pass. And, And I think it'll be worth the wait.

[Hayes]

That feeling when the big straw is kind of like blocked up a little bit by the pearls.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

When you're just sucking a milkshake through and there's a piece of like, you know, the, the candy bar, whatever you mushed into the milkshake.

[Hayes]

And then like once the blockage clears and it's like too much.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

Yeah, you're like too much.

[Hayes]

That's probably gonna be a reverse Kevin.

[Danny McBride]

I should be in the pit with Kevin. Because that sounds like it's gonna be, you know, maybe an emergency.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I think it's going to be wonderful.

[Danny McBride]

That's. That's. That's really sweet. Hayes was right. You're a class act.

[Co-host/Interviewer]

I know a lot of stuff about. About come. So, more questions, you let me know.

[Danny McBride]

Recording stopped.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

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[Unidentified Speaker]

What?

[Casey]

Yes.

[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

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[Danny McBride]

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[Hayes]

Now I will control an Empire original

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[Co-host/Interviewer]

Just make sure we protect each other.

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[Unidentified Speaker]

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[Paramount Plus Advertiser]

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[Hayes]

From the show last night to this drive. Why is it never chill?

[Nissan Advertiser]

Cuz this is our life backstage on the road. It's loud, messy, real.

And that's the best part. Whole crew, no plan, just moving.

[Hayes]

Good thing Nissan builds for that kind of chaos.

[Nissan Advertiser]

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[Hayes]

Yeah, you can tell.

[Nissan Advertiser]

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[Podcast Advertiser]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.