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Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought.
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Holmberg
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Holmberg
The best of Homer's morning sickness. This is the big Red Radio.
Co-host 1
The governator was back in. Had an interview with a German newspaper and did you see any of this? He wants Maria back. Shut up. Oh, yeah. Said he hopes for a reconciliation.
Co-host 2
That's not happening.
Holmberg
He wants his toast face back.
Co-host 1
Another interview. He talked about being in a bathroom stall and hearing a guy in the next stall over saying, I'll be back. He says, I talking to his poop. He was. He knew Arnold was in there.
Holmberg
Oh, I was gonna say, what are the odds?
Co-host 1
He goes, I get somebody. I get quoted in the weirdest places. Be back.
Co-host 2
That does have to be strange. That would be awful trying to take.
Holmberg
A dump just around go inside. The end. Well, Mike Ditka took a dump at the super bowl and Toledo started banging on his stall door. Shut up.
Co-host 2
Did not.
Holmberg
Hey, come out of here. I'm gonna take care of you a few a little more.
Co-host 2
Why were you banging on his door?
Co-host 1
It was Caliento.
Holmberg
No, my aunt would have banged on that door and no, it was. He wandered in there and well, hey, there's Mike Ditka taking a leak and dummy's drunk is a skunk. And he wanders over there and starts literally both fists pounding.
Co-host 2
Awesome, Toledo.
Holmberg
I'm pretty proud of you.
Co-host 2
That's something I would have done.
Holmberg
That's. But it was dumb blind because he stood there like, duh. Not A laugh. Nothing. No emotion on his face. And we all scrambled out there. What the hell's he doing that for? I'm gonna kill somebody. It's gonna happen. Come out. I'll tell you what. Somebody's gonna die. Get pee on my Johnny Carson suit.
Co-host 1
Jim Carrey was supposed to play Buddy in Elf. The role of John McClane in Die Hard was first offered. Get ready for this. Frank Sinatra, then Schwarzenegger, then Stallone, then Burt Reynolds, Richard Gere, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, then Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis.
Holmberg
I knew. I knew about Sinatra. Frank Sin. I knew about Sinatra and I knew about Stallone.
Co-host 2
I can't even picture Sinatra.
Co-host 1
Wonder what the real order was, you know? If it went to Sinatra, then when it goes, would it go to Reynolds first, then Sinatra?
Holmberg
I don't know. Yippee. IO Kaye. I'm John McLean, baby. It have been a singing number and all that. Yeah, that.
Co-host 2
That's not working for me.
Holmberg
That would have been. What was that one that Burt Reynolds did? The Sharky's Machine. Sharky's Machine.
Commercial Announcer
He would have been 70.
Holmberg
Yeah.
Co-host 1
When.
Holmberg
When that came out.
Co-host 2
Well, we would have been spared some of the, like, sequels, that's for sure. Oh, yeah.
Holmberg
My wife's over there at Nami. Jap. Jap building. I gotta get her out.
Co-host 2
He might have been able to do two.
Holmberg
I don't. We got loads of Krauts causing all sorts of trouble.
Co-host 1
Sammy Davis would have been the cop.
Holmberg
Hey, babe. I'm down here right now.
Co-host 1
Babe.
Holmberg
Looks like trouble. What's going on, Twinkies? Don't you worry about it, brickhead. I got it under control.
Co-host 1
You're not part of the solution.
Holmberg
You got your eye on me.
Co-host 1
Dean Martin's cutting deals.
Holmberg
Oh, my booby. Shoot the glass. The Rat packed Die Hard. Oh, booby. Hans. Hey. Shoot the glass. This guy I don't trust. You're the bad guy, Dean.
Co-host 1
Carrie Fisher never wore a bra under her white Princess Leia costume. Over the Rainbow was nearly cut from the wizard of Oz because it was too sad.
Holmberg
A little slow and sad. A lot of stuff with wizard of Oz. Maybe the most toyed with movie that ever was such a success. It's. It was a mess. An absolute mess.
Co-host 1
Evidently Hulk Hogan was talking to somebody and telling them about one time wrestling Andre the Giant, I believe it was in Canada. Montreal. And Andre pulled out one of his favorite moves called checking the oil.
Holmberg
Oh, yeah. He threw his finger in a butt.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Holmberg
In pro wrestling.
Co-host 1
In pro wrestling, yeah. And evidently had quite the reputation. But they said it's Just a little more. It's a little more deeper than the average checking of the oil because his digits are so large.
Holmberg
Oh, yeah. That's like taking it from a teenager.
Co-host 1
Two keys on a piano.
Co-host 2
Maybe it was an accident. He didn't really have control over his body.
Holmberg
That I just accidentally fingered your power. I know. Watch your finger, brother. What you could do now, brother, is remove it. It's pretty much lodged inside there like a Chinese.
Co-host 2
I think they have whole conversations like that as they're rolling around.
Holmberg
Well, they're keeping his finger out. They're trapped together. They're stuck together like some sort of a puzzle piece that you can't unleash.
Co-host 1
What do you want to do tomorrow, brother?
Holmberg
Will you just pin me and get this over with? If I pin you, I have to stay up on top of you because my very large, true piano key finger is lodged in your buttocks. I know.
Co-host 2
I didn't know. You didn't. Andre the joke.
Holmberg
Of course I do.
Co-host 1
Come up over the mountain, Brian Song. Tomorrow.
Holmberg
The four horse going to come over the mountain. Try to analyze my finger from the B horse.
Co-host 1
You mention it, but Barbara Wawa, she fell and hit her head.
Holmberg
I've fallen, Brady. When I fell down, would you be there to pick me up if you agreed to it? Or for a million dollars, would you leave me in the bottom of the stairwell?
Co-host 1
She fell on some stairs, hit her head pretty good.
Holmberg
Just like Gary Coleman.
Co-host 2
Oh, yeah.
Co-host 1
She's alert, which is positive. But she's in the hospital.
Holmberg
Do you think halfway down the stairs she thought this is how Coleman died? To get rolled through her head? Not white Gary. Don't make me die. White Gary.
Co-host 1
We had some legends pass away over the weekend. Stan the man.
Holmberg
You think Barbara's gonna go Weaver? She's gonna be all. And Carlo.
Commercial Announcer
Earl Weaver, too.
Holmberg
Earl Weaver died, too. But if Barbara's got a head injury, she doesn't know it. She keeps going on the View and then, like, has, like, four minutes where she can't function and we have nobody else knows. Yeah, we have to find out later. Would anybody be courageous enough to tell Babawa that it's over? Yes, like they had. They took a year for them to tell on Carlo to knock it off. And that was just local radio.
Co-host 2
So you want to watch the View now, is what you're saying?
Holmberg
I'm gonna watch the View for heavy bertations.
Co-host 2
Start recording it every day.
Holmberg
I don't know if it's still Barbara Walters or if she's having a stroke. She always sounded like that. Today we'll have a wonderful actor. Denmo Day. Woo Woo. I don't know if we should tell or not. Let it die on TV is good for ratings, baby. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio. Holmberg's morning sickness.
Co-host 1
Robert F. Chu was another F chew. F chew.
Holmberg
F2.
Co-host 2
Who's Robert F2?
Co-host 1
F2, gazoon height. He played Proposition Joe on the HBO show the Wire.
Holmberg
Oh, yeah?
Co-host 1
Yeah.
Holmberg
I don't like the way this story started, pal. Robert F. Chew.
Co-host 1
Bless you. The iron she.
Holmberg
This guy.
Co-host 1
The Iron Chic was tweeting yesterday about he was watching the football playoff games.
Holmberg
The Iron Chic was.
Co-host 1
Yes.
Holmberg
This is gonna be good.
Co-host 2
Oh, yeah.
Co-host 1
Here's a little sample. The Tom Brady wife call me. She say, cheeky baby, I love your camel.
Co-host 2
Did you say this was a tweet?
Co-host 1
Yes.
Co-host 2
Oh my God.
Co-host 1
Tom only half mouse. Please suplex me. Make me humble.
Holmberg
This isn't the real Sheikh. This is some guy. There's no way this is the real Sheikh. This is that. That Javier guy that does all the Brady things for us.
Co-host 2
He's an entertainer. Come on.
Holmberg
That's.
Co-host 2
He could say that the Brady. And he's old.
Co-host 1
Another shiki who win the football today. Tell me or go F yourself.
Holmberg
F2.
Co-host 1
Worse than jabroni. Tony Romo.
Holmberg
Okay, maybe it is the real.
Co-host 2
He's been here long enough, hasn't he's like kind of like Arnold's deal. What's going on there?
Holmberg
You can at least write it by now. I understand it might be a thick accent when you say it, but the.
Co-host 1
Ray Lewis going to play today like he killed Manti Teo girlfriend. What happens, bubba?
Co-host 2
He tweets with an accent.
Holmberg
He tweets with a thick accent. It's been 40 years he's been living here. And who picked up on this? Who's like, you know, I wonder what the sheik's up to. I'm gonna check Twitter. Who's following the Iron Chic?
Co-host 2
Oh, you'd be surprised.
Holmberg
I would be shocked. I don't get the Twitter.
Co-host 1
So I guess Chic versus the Tom Brady Wrestlemania New York. I beat the F out of him and steal his wife. Break her neck with my camel clutch.
Holmberg
Yes, I'm all for all that. That sounds great.
Co-host 2
He's got a huge beer belly now. I don't think he's beating anybody.
Holmberg
Beat up Tom.
Co-host 1
I give the Ray Lewis the respect because he work hard. Train like Iron Sheik. Make it to main event. Really? To f the San Francisco.
Co-host 2
I would love somebody in the Media. We got a couple weeks here to ask Ray Lewis what he thinks about what?
Holmberg
Iron Sheikhs. Yeah. Cause it'll be media day. Do you have a response to the Iron Sheik set tweets? The Lord gave us a weapon. Love the Lord and love weapons. Good with weapons. All right, Ray's done talking. I just love weaponry.
Co-host 2
Two crazy people talking to each other.
Holmberg
Weaponry and a lot. Oh, Lord, I cannot wait for bad lip reading to get a hold of that. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Oh, there you go. That's your entertainment drill. Congratulations, Brady. Done it again. F Chew. I still don't know who Robert F. Chew is.
Co-host 1
He's the giant black guy on the Wire, 52 years old.
Holmberg
His name is F. Chew. Is it F Period? His middle name is black.
Co-host 2
Yeah. Not Asian.
Holmberg
His last name is an F Chew.
Co-host 1
He looked.
Holmberg
That's an Asian name. Bob F. Chew. That guy's a waiter somewhere. Golden something.
Co-host 2
You have a black and white photo, Brady.
Holmberg
So I don't know. Yeah, let me see that. I'll be the judge of what he is. Come on.
Co-host 2
Asian, black guy.
Co-host 1
What is he?
Holmberg
I don't know. Two Live Crew, Maybe both.
Co-host 2
He's like, yeah, maybe he had a Asian mom.
Holmberg
He looks like the dude in PM Dawn.
Co-host 2
Happy MLK Jr day.
Holmberg
Yeah. I don't know what he is. Boy. Yeah, that's a. He's a product of.
Co-host 2
Yeah, there's both in there.
Holmberg
I don't know if he's Asian or if he's just so fat. His eyes are closed. That's a. Yeah, he kind of looks like it's Odd Job and hello Day. Nada.
Co-host 1
Samoan, maybe.
Holmberg
And then there's a little bit of Flavor Flav with the hair.
Co-host 2
We need to be more respectful. He just passed away.
Co-host 1
What do we.
Holmberg
Flavor died? No. Oh, F Chews dead. I didn't know he died. I just. I couldn't get past the name. I didn't hear a word of that story. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, There's Fat Albert and hello. De Nada Had a kid. That's pretty good. We'll go with that. Have we painted the picture on the radio well enough for him? There you go. That is your entertainment drill. It's like you gave me. The little fat Samoans will bang little fat blacks and make little F Chews.
Co-host 2
Have you ever been taking a dump or like, oh, yeah, the bathroom and somebody, like, does an impression at you?
Holmberg
Yeah, I have a few of those. Hey, Holmerg's in the stall next to us. One time when I was. It's your wife. Thanks, dude. I don't take dumps and stalls. First of all, the phrase dumps and stalls is beneath me.
Co-host 2
All right.
Holmberg
Just.
Co-host 1
All right. Just.
Co-host 2
You do pee, right?
Holmberg
In a.
Co-host 2
In a urinal?
Holmberg
Yes.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Holmberg
Okay.
Co-host 2
If I.
Holmberg
If there's a line. I don't. I won't go to the bathroom if there's a line. But yeah, I will pee. And I've never been spoken to.
Co-host 1
I have peed.
Holmberg
I have feed. No, I don't think so. Somebody did recognize me in a restroom once at the Arizona Mill.
Co-host 1
Did you quote Arnold next to him, if it bleeds, we can kill it.
Holmberg
It was a long time ago. I think. I think. Honestly, I think that's the same dude that outside of the restroom, not in it, asked me to do Harry carry for him. So he waited at least until I had my weighing in, which most guys don't. You have to be weighing in.
Co-host 2
If somebody asks you like why you were, would you do the Harry carry?
Holmberg
Sure. You know what I'd say? What? Hey dude, I like your show. You do Harry Cary? Sure. Hey, go f yourself. Harry never talked. But that Harry peeing.
Co-host 1
Oh, Harry probably said that.
Holmberg
Harry would have said that a whole bunch. Quit staring at my dick.
Co-host 2
Not on tv.
Holmberg
Why don't you go to a store and buy a Dewalt drill and make a glory hole? Yeah, I don't think. I don't think that'll ever happen. Thank God people asked Brady for pork in the stalls. Hey dude, how about sliding a plate of pork over into my side? You got it. Reaching in my pocket here for some extra pork. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. Did you know you can opt out of winter with VRBO? Save up to 1500 dollars for booking a month long stay with thousands of sunny homes. Why subject yourself to the cold? Just filter your search by monthly stays and save up to one $500. Book now at verbo. Com.
This episode of "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness," hosted by John Holmberg with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, dives into a cavalcade of entertainment news, celebrity rumors, and irreverent banter. The show covers everything from awkward celebrity restroom encounters (including Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mike Ditka), the origins of iconic movie roles, pro wrestling pranks, Barbara Walters’ health scare, notorious Iron Sheik tweets, and a comedic roast of the late Robert F. Chew. Delivered in the show’s signature mix of sarcasm and sharp wit, the episode is rapid-fire, with smart-aleck commentary throughout.
Fast-paced, irreverent, and packed with improv and inside jokes, the episode flows like an unscripted morning show round table, brimming with dry sarcasm, parody, and the crew’s signature aim to “entertain, question, and disturb.”
Note: Skip additional commercials, intros, and outros to focus on the rich banter and topical comedy that make "Holmberg’s Morning Sickness" a #1 choice for rock radio in Arizona.