01-01-26 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY- Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD - BO

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 01-01-26 – FULL SHOW – THURSDAY
Date: January 1, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Special Guests: Donald Trump (Impersonator), Don King (Real)

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Episode Overview

This episode blends sharp humor, parodies, topical absurdity, and local color, with an emphasis on lampooning political figures, dissecting everyday oddities, and celebrating Arizona’s wild social scene. With special appearances and a signature raucous energy, the crew mixes fake interviews, pop culture, and storytelling, creating a fast-paced, banter-heavy listening experience.

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Key Segments and Discussion Highlights

1. [01:06] “Trump Vader” Takes Over – Donald Trump Impersonator Segment

• Entrance & Confidence:
  John introduces a Trump impersonator as the “next president.” The impersonator asserts, “Let’s just drop possibly right now and put me right in the White House.”
  [01:34]

• Boob Pictures as “Leverage”:
  Trump Impersonator boasts about using intimate pictures in divorce settlements and claims to have similar material on world leaders for “leverage.”

  “You can’t go through a divorce without a few nudie pictures to threaten your wife with... I have naked pictures of every leader.”
  – Donald Trump (Impersonator), [02:01]

• Star Wars Characters as Political Nicknames:

  • Compares himself to Darth Vader: “Everybody thinks I’m evil...and in the end, you find out, you know what? He’s a pretty nice guy. You take the mask off, you get behind the businessman…” [04:39 – 05:13]
  • Jeb Bush = Watto
  • Ben Carson = “the black Stormtrooper”/Tuskegee Airman
  • Ted Cruz = “Mynoc…sucking the life out of it.”

    “Ted Cruz is that neighbor you won’t let your kids talk to. Grandpa Munster. It’s young Grandpa Munster.”
    – Trump (Impersonator), [07:11]

• Immigration Riffs & “Planet Fence”:

  • Fantastical solution of building a fence around every “alien.”
  • Jokes about blasting 12 million people to “Trumptopia, a planet very few people know about. Where I come from, made of gold, almost done mined by albinos.”
    [09:03–09:57]

• Audience Call-ins:

  • Callers play games involving sound effects and Star Wars references. Banter about illegal immigration, polling numbers, and using “boot pics” in divorces.
  • Notable exchange:

    “Are they all here legally? Are they anchored in, so to speak?”
    – Trump (Impersonator), [12:57]*

• Sound Effect Game:

  • Surreal game where they guess Star Wars sound effects twisted into political or risqué punchlines.

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2. [18:06] Customer Service: “The Customer Is Always Right…in Matters of Taste”

• Origin of the Phrase:
  John shares the history:

  "The original phrase was, 'The customer is always right in matters of taste.'” [18:53]

• Advises service industry workers to arm themselves with the correct version and push back against abusive customers.

• Tales from the Trenches:
  Hilarious/painful stories of restaurant customer entitlement, phony complaints, and how the “customer’s always right” leads to absurdities.

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3. [26:09] Beer Goggles: The Science Behind Regrettable Hookups

• New Study Debunked:

  • Alcohol makes ugly people look better, but does not make attractive people look worse.

• Key Quote:

  “If that’s the case...then when you put them [beer goggles] on and look at somebody who’s attractive, it would change them too... it’s only for ugly people. Beer goggles are only for ugly people.”
  – John Holmberg, [29:10]

• Reflection on Judgment:
  Discusses alcohol's effect on standards, inhibitions, and personal responsibility – debunking the idea that "beer goggles" are to blame.

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4. [35:06] Local Flavor: Park BBQs, Miracle Grills, and Demographic Observations

• Granada Park Softball Game:

  • Lighthearted celebration of ethnic community cookouts in public parks, marveling at the ability of Mexican families to feed hundreds using small grills (“Miracle Grills”).
  • Comparison with bland “white barbecue” traditions.

    “I want to go to Miracle Grill and find out [their secret]...there’s pigeons and ducks everywhere. You know they’re feeding off that at the end of the night.”
    – John Holmberg, [39:07]

• BBQ Debates:
  Fiery banter about aluminum foil, hot dogs rolling off grills, and cultural attitudes toward food safety.

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5. [44:09] True Crime & Relationship Red Flags

• Obsessions with “bad boys” & “bad girls”:
  • Discussion of women dating convicted killers, referencing a Mexican police officer who murdered his wife and later his family during a prison visit.
  • Examines societal double standards and psychology behind women attracted to criminals (“sexy murderers”).

    “You never hear about guys getting murdered by a woman who’s murdered before. We don't date you anymore as a group.”
    – John Holmberg, [50:06]

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6. [62:49] The Brady Report: News, Fun Facts, and Notable Oddities

• NFL “Scorigami” & Odd Stats:

  • e.g., Broncos beating Browns 29-12 was a score never before seen.
  • [63:09]

• Fun Facts:

  • Word origins, e.g., "vodka" from the Russian "vada" (water).
  • Re-gifting on the rise: 82% of people open to secondhand gifts.

    “I’m wrapping a lot of shifts this year.”
    – Brady Bogan, [65:51]

• Bizarre Goodwill Donations:
  Guillotine, glass jar labeled “Fart June 1975,” taxidermy kittens, coffin, and squirrel underwear.
  [66:26–67:40]

• Smugglers News:

  • Wild stories of drug and weapon smuggling involving inventive hiding places (e.g., a firearm hidden in someone’s body).

    “Let me tell you this. I think I am too, because at least I don’t want the—yeah. I don’t want to go barrel in.”
    – John Holmberg, [78:34]

• “Pee Pee Poo Poo News”:
  Mythbusting claim that farting burns calories.

  • “If it were 67 calories per fart, Toledo would be Karen Carpenter.”
    [83:21]

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7. [87:35] “Rah Rah Room” Chronicles: An Elite Experience at Suns Arena

• John’s Exclusive Adventure:

  • Holmberg recounts attending a Phoenix Suns game, accessing the ultra-exclusive Rah Rah Room, mingling with celebrities (Steph Curry, Draymond Green, John Rahm), and marveling at the opulence (“It’s very Wonka. Oh, it’s beautiful.”).
  • Humorous anxiety about there being another local “John Holmberg” who may have gotten his perks.

    “Now I’ve got a goal in the Rah Rah Room. But it was pretty cool at the end of the game. And there’s Steph Curry and Draymond Green, and they’re all walking through the Rah Rah Room. Ishbi is hanging out. This is cool.”
    – John Holmberg, [93:17]

• The Dilemma of Plus-Ones:

  • Playfully refuses to bring co-hosts (“I can’t take you guys. I have to take people that look classy.”) and posits elaborate scenarios about meeting his “doppelgänger.”
  • Discussion of club etiquette, fashion, and exclusivity.

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8. [124:41] PHONE INTERVIEW: Don King

• Don King’s Charisma:
  Don King delivers a rapid-fire monologue promoting an upcoming boxing match, saluting the troops, and riffing on everything from Arizona’s Native American tribes to the virtues of ants (“The ants are always building, building, building…”). Memorable for its nonstop energy and tangential inspiration.

  “From the ashes of the Phoenix, we shall rise yet again...support our troops and make America better.”
  – Don King, [124:41–126:35]

• Offers Boxing Tickets:
  Promises John tickets to Mayweather-Hatton, provided arrangements are made with his “beautiful lady, Ivy.”

  • Signature Don King “Only in America” messaging, blending salesmanship with pop philosophy.

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9. [137:10] Entertainment Drill: Celebrity Trivia and Wrestling Antics

• Arnold Schwarzenegger News:
  Arnold wants Maria back, and has odd restroom stories about people quoting “I’ll be back” while he’s in a stall.

• Hollywood “Almosts”:

  • Sinatra and others were first choices for “Die Hard” before Bruce Willis.

    “My wife’s over there at Nami Jap Jap building. I gotta get her out.”
    – John Holmberg (imitating Sinatra as McClane), [139:33]

• Pro Wrestling “Oil Check” Quip:
  Andre “checks the oil” (inserts finger) on Hulk Hogan during a match, leading to an extended riff on the hazards of wrestling with giants.

• The Iron Sheik’s Unfiltered Tweets:

  • Hilarious, broken-English, and explicit posts about football and pop culture, with John and crew reading them aloud and marveling at the absurdity.

    “He tweets with an accent.”
    – John Holmberg, [145:37]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Donald Trump Impersonator, on Leadership:

  “Always get naked pictures and hold them over other people. It’s brilliant.”
  [03:00]

• John Holmberg, on Beer Goggles Reality:

  “You blame alcohol for you just being weak. Yeah, yeah. I have always been a strong drunk. Always.”
  [29:47]

• On Miracle Grills:

  “I want to go to Miracle Grill and find out. But they never clean it...There's pigeons and ducks everywhere. You know they're feeding off of that at the end of the night.”
  – John Holmberg, [39:07]

• Don King, on Ants:

  “The ants are always building, building, building, building. And they work dedicatedly and committedly. So we must persevere.”
  [129:43]

• On the Exclusive “Rah Rah Room”:

  “Now that I know there’s another John Holmberg, technically, I get 20 buddy passes now instead of the 10 because all I have to do is tell people to just come in and say, you’re on John Holmberg’s tab.”
  [98:26]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Event | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 01:06 | Trump Impersonator segment begins | | 04:39 | Star Wars characters as 2016 GOP Candidates | | 18:06 | Customer Service Phrase Rant | | 26:09 | Beer Goggles: The Science & Satire | | 35:06 | Miracle Grill: Park BBQs & Observations | | 44:09 | Crime & the “Bad Boy”/“Bad Girl” Attraction | | 62:49 | The Brady Report - News and Oddities | | 87:35 | “Rah Rah Room” Adventure & Doppelgänger Discovery | | 124:41 | Don King phone interview & ant analogy | | 137:10 | Entertainment Drill: Arnold, Die Hard, Iron Sheik tweets |

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Conclusion

This episode is a wild ride through parody politics, Arizona flavor, ridiculous news, and over-the-top storytelling. The crew’s quick wit, willingness to push boundaries, and love for the absurd ensure no subject is off-limits, making this a signature, unfiltered dose of “morning sickness.”

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

The best of homework's morning sickness. I'm Maddie Akupd. Oh, look who's here. No security at all. None. Ladies and gentlemen, he is here. He is the leader of almost the world at this point. It's very close. All right, ladies and gentlemen, Republican frontrunner and possibly the next president of the United States, Mr. Donald Trump is here. Come on in, Donald. Oh, my goodness. Look at this.

[Brady Bogan]

Trump Vader.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Excuse me. You just said possibly the next president of the United States of America. Let's just drop possibly right now and put me right in the White House. I'll put President Obama on one of my many golf courses. I've got one right there and the Potomac in Washington. It's a little snowy. Of course, the weather's been pretty good lately. We'll stick him on there. If he'd just leave his job early like most executives and go golfing, I think we'd all be happier. And I'll just take over from there. Don't you think?

[Brady Bogan]

I'll be better. The healthiest president.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'm gonna be the healthiest president of all time. There's no doubt about it, Brady. Okay? I'll be the most healthy president there ever has been. If they want to have a presidential like relay race, I'd kill all of them. None of these guys can keep up with me. I'm the healthiest president of all time. I'm the healthiest man of all time. Brady, you need to get boob pics sent to you immediately. I've had all of my wives, every single one of them send me boob pics at one time or another. And it's worked out every single time as some sort of a leverage in the divorce settlement. It's been fantastic. You can't go through a divorce without a few nudie pictures to threaten your wife with. So she bats off stealing a lot of your stuff. If you've got a bunch of honey hole shots or disgusting beef shots that have been deleted, she thinks when they have it, you bring those up in court, and the next thing you know, she isn't as vicious as she was a couple hours earlier. Brilliant, okay? That's what kind of leader I am. I have naked pictures of every leader. Angela Merkel. I have tons of naked pictures of her. If she wants to get froggy, I will show them to America.

[Brady Bogan]

Making a better America.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You want to see her German bunker? I'll give it to you. I'll show it to you. Because if she wants to threaten me, I've got evidence against them all. Always get naked pictures and hold them over other people. It's brilliant.

[Brady Bogan]

How was the new Star Wars?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I was. I was. I thought it was one thing missing me, and otherwise it would have been the greatest movie of all time. I think the one thing was I felt really good about thinking about Star Wars. Went back to watched all the old ones and thought, you know, the Starfighter's onto something. He's a billionaire. He's got all sorts of his own properties. People keep trying to tear him down. He just keeps rebuilding. He's been through some turmoil.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know what great businessman has it, Multiple death stars, you know, you've had. Yeah, exactly. You know, he's a billionaire, and then it kind of collapsed around him.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

He didn't quit. He built his billions back up and built his Trump Towers. I mean, his death stars again. And you lose one, you can't quit. And he never did. And I admire that about him. You know what? I really do. And he kept going until he won. And a lot of time that means you're right. If you just keep plowing over the opposition until they quit, that means you were right.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have a big weapon on the top of the Trump Tower.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know, we've worked on a giant laser. Yes, we have it aimed firmly at Carly Fury in his honeyhole. You got people working on it nobody wants in there. Not even a laser that Tractor beam around that thing is tough to break down. Can't even fire a laser, and it just turns at the last minute and hits her in the leg.

[John Holmberg]

Was she even in the debate last time?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Don't know. I don't even know who else was there. Rand Paul was there. There's so many people so far away almost falling off the stage. Cause when you're in last place, you're closest to the end. Yeah, Carly could have been sitting in the audience somewhere as, like, a.003 percenter. I don't know what that is. I'm a 42 percenter, okay? So that's how I roll.

[Brady Bogan]

What character would Jeb Bush be in Star Wars?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Jeb Bush would be Watto. Jeb Bush would be the dumb friend of a friend of a friend who doesn't have a brain. You can't talk to him. You could try to Jedi, mind you, if he's too stupid. All he does is sell junk to kids. That's Watto. That's Jack a Bowl, besides. Yeah, exactly. Bernie, you understand bad business. He's got a crappy store, he's got crappy goods, and he tries to lie to you. He's shady, seedy street street vendor. That's all he is. Whereas I feel more like I would be Darth Vader. You know, Everybody thinks I'm evil. I'm running a huge corporation. I'm getting things done. And in the end, you find out, you know what? He's a pretty nice guy. He's a pretty nice guy. You take the mask off, you get behind the businessman, you know, I get along with people. I'm a really good guy.

[Brady Bogan]

What about Ben Carson?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Ben Carson would be the black Stormtrooper because he's the only one ever seen up there that's black.

[John Holmberg]

They're the pilots, though. They're pretty badass.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Well, sort of, some of them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I guess. So. Put them up like. I think you're confusing them for that Tuskegee group. I don't think they're in Star Wars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I think you're thinking of the Tuskegee Airmen. Ben Carson reminds me of them. Is that what you were asking?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I think he's Wally from the Tuskegee Airmen. I think that's the one you're thinking of. I don't know that there's a Star wars comparison.

[John Holmberg]

Are you gonna meet Jan Brewer today?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'm gonna try to meet Jan Brewer today. It's not very hot, so she won't melt, so it's good.

[Brady Bogan]

Stay solid.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Just stay solid. It's good to have her out today. Get out in the sunshine. She could be out there. It doesn't really matter who I meet. Actually, the important question is, is Jan Brewer gonna meet me today? I mean, that's really what we're looking at. Will I remember Jan Brewer in four hours?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

But will she remember this day? More than likely all of it. If she ever gets to touch my head. My glorious gold encrusted paw, which I keep hidden under this ugly skin. That's right. I'm gold under the skin. You didn't know that?

[Brady Bogan]

It's amazing.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, where you're pink and fleshy. I'm solid. 24 karat gold mined by albinos on a special planet. What makes you so healthy? Exactly. Albino hands touched my gold, leaving no fingerprints, and then painted a golden skin over my gold, placed this glorious head of hair on my head, and made me the man I am today. Gold man. Not the Jew, just a gold man. Not a Goldman. I'm not, like, related to the guy OJ Killed, is what I'm saying. Ted Cruz would be a mynach.

[Brady Bogan]

Star Wars.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Totally my. Not just attached to something and sucking the life out of it like he's doing to every debate. What's wrong with that guy?

[John Holmberg]

He looks so stupid. I thought you were weird looking.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

He's making me look great.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know, I shouldn't say anything in these debates and just turn it over. Ted, what do you think? That should be the answer to every question? Mr. Trump, do you. Blah, blah, blah. You know what? Let me ask Ted Cruz what he thinks, then he'll say something and my numbers will go up in the polls because Ted Cruz is that neighbor. You won't let your kids talk to Grandpa Munster. It's young Grandpa Munster. Grandpa would be wicked. Grandpa would be wicked. To Ewok that first befriends Princess Leia. Adorable, small, and in the end, useless. Wicket. The Ewok is Rand Paul. And that's, of course, we all know Chris Christie.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on, Ciaba.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know, somewhere at Christie's New Jersey mansion, there's a woman in a gold bikini chained or something. Let's just say that I'm guessing.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if he should go there.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'm guessing his vice president will be Salacious Crumb. The little rat that hangs around that guy right there. Brady. Well done, xdt. Very excited about Star Wars. We're gonna get some good ideas on how to run a planet because essentially, big President of the United States is Running a planet. And that's what I'm gonna do. Run the planet.

[Brady Bogan]

Best planet ever.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It'll be the greatest. We're gonna bring. We're gonna bring greatness back to the planet. Let's make this planet great again.

[John Holmberg]

Has your wife sent you any boot pics lately?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, all three of them. Do it all the time. I was explaining it earlier.

[John Holmberg]

You got three wives.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I've had three wives. Great.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Each boot pic has been used in a courtroom against them in the divorce proceedings. Eric, it's something I am very proud of.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sorry. I was putting this.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's right. You were doing things together. But I'm just reiterating, for those slower Americans things we've already talked about, we could make this planet great again. Imagine no Muslims. I mean, already, we're off to a great start. Mexico is walled in. Two for two. Canada is a wasteland of gas, pipes and oil. Three for three.

[John Holmberg]

So you just want to keep all the white people here?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Don't say anything about white people. I'll take people of different colors. Yeah, but just the ones that have already checked in and signed the guestbook. No, they're newbies, okay? The newbies have to stay where they live and eat our fiery bombs. Building a jet that seats 12 million people. And we're gonna fire it off to Trumptopia, a planet very few people know about. Where I come from, made of gold, almost done mined by albinos. Take the 12 million good ones. I don't even know if we can find that many. Birdie, to be honest with you, I think it's gonna be tough to find 12 million good people to put on the planet. You know, we'll get 6 million. Everybody get two seats. It'll be nice. It's a great day whenever you get on a plane. Two seats. Of course, I don't have to deal with that. Cause I have my own prep Trump stakes. I know you probably hop on one of those southwest planes, hope that most people look at you, Brady, and hope that nobody like you're not gonna sit next to them.

[Brady Bogan]

Look out. Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Here comes. Oh, no. We've only got a middle. Here comes a chatty big fella. Are we ready to play the game?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Sounds pretty much the same game as yesterday that I really enjoyed listening to. I thought it was one of the greatest games I've ever heard. Maybe the greatest game.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Well, no, you know what? It was a good game.

[John Holmberg]

Okay?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Today will be the greatest this game has ever been played.

[John Holmberg]

You're here.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, because you know it's really gonna add a lot to this. A good game where we play a character and a sound effect and then you name it, or I name it first, or whoever. I'll probably get it right before you. That's okay. Cause you're a loser, man. But that happens.

[John Holmberg]

I like it.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

We all can't be winners. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Right. You should be all for my presidency.

[John Holmberg]

I am, actually.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Much garbage spills out of your mouth. This is fantastic stuff. All right, let's go to the phones. Get a guy named Mark on Lammer. Mark, are you there?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Are you gonna come see my speech later, Mark, or are you a loser?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm there. I already got my one ticket.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You got a ticket to go see my speech? What do you hope that I say today?

[John Holmberg]

That you're gonna block. You're gonna put a fence around Mexico to keep the aliens out.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh, that's a good idea. The illegal. Illegal alien.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know, that's a good idea. You know who could build the Mexicans fence?

[John Holmberg]

You think that'll be 100% effective?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

A fence around the planet?

[Brady Bogan]

Flawless.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I can't see any downsides. I mean, it keeps us in. Yeah, and it keeps them out.

[John Holmberg]

I guess Neil Armstrong might be pissed.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

He'd be the only one. And he's already seen it. I don't really see anybody being too ambitious about leaving.

[Brady Bogan]

What are your plans?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I like this fence idea you've got, Mark. That style. Planet fence putting.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Planet fence. What could that cost?

[John Holmberg]

Might cost a few bucks.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Couple hundred billion.

[John Holmberg]

Big deal.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I got that. What'd you ask me, Brady, the plans with the moon. I have no plans with the moon, Brady. I'm gonna keep it where it is, okay?

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna steal it.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I. You know, I never knew we could. Is that possible?

[John Holmberg]

If.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'll look into it. I'll get a committee.

[John Holmberg]

We're looking.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know what we'll do? We'll build the fence around us, but we'll pull the moon in so the moon will be outside the fence line.

[Brady Bogan]

Lasso the moon. Pour it in.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Well, that's ridiculous. Oh, lasso the moon. Actually have a team of people move it without a lasso. I love the Wild West. I love coming to Arizona. Very excited about lassoes and spurs and such.

[John Holmberg]

He's having romantic thoughts.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

We'll tow it. We'll tow it. I know you're lassoing things. You're thinking about ropes, which you should think about if your wife doesn't want to send you pictures of her Boobs. Maybe it's time to end it all.

[John Holmberg]

Good point. Mark.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

When's the last time a woman sent you naked pictures? Yesterday. Yesterday. When's the last time you sent a picture of that sweet, sweet hog you carried around your drawers?

[John Holmberg]

Never.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You've never sent a picture of your dick to someone?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Micro penis is a problem with 1 in 25Americans.

[John Holmberg]

I guess it's okay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

At least you are a Mexican. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know you're Mexican.

[John Holmberg]

If he's getting a lot of photos, it's, you know.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You're getting a lot, though. So evidently your hog works. How many kids do you have as a Mexican? I'm guessing nine. Close.

[John Holmberg]

10.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You have 10 children? That's pretty nice. Okay, Good work. Are they all here legally? Are they anchored in, so to speak? Yes. All right. Good for you. What year did your parents swim here?

[John Holmberg]

65.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

In 65 they made the trek, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Did they sign the guest book or are they just wandering around?

[John Holmberg]

No, they're still wandering around.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

So they're illegal?

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know what might be easier? Build a fence around every alien.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Build a fence around each one of them. They can't even come out of their own little fence. That's a good idea. Where do your parents live?

[John Holmberg]

Here in Arizona.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right here in Arizona. Imagine that. Not real specific about that one.

[John Holmberg]

Are you Somewhere. But I don't know.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

All right, let me run here.

[John Holmberg]

Somewhere.

[Brady Bogan]

Parts unknown.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Plug your computer in here. Don't forget to do that. We're all ready to go. Here's your character and your sound buzzing with your name. I'll try to guess it before you. Brady can try to. But it'll probably be me. But go ahead, Mark. Good luck to you. Donald. That's Chris Christie taking a. And of course the last thing was my doorbell.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm sorry.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, that's incorrect. Unbelievable. Brady, do you have a guess?

[Brady Bogan]

Is first one. Han Solo being tortured. Prison when he was held captive.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I swear to God. That is Chris. Chris getting my doorbell.

[Brady Bogan]

It is close.

[John Holmberg]

It sounds like all of them having an orgasm.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, it sounds like the whole cast getting it on.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody knows.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Anyone have any idea? I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Keep it. We'll do it again later. Go ahead. I got a couple new ideas. All right. Go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

He loses, doesn't he?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah. You're out. So long. Sorry about that. Mark, who are you gonna vote for?

[Don King]

Trump, of course.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Exactly. Thank you. All Mexicans will. I'll be 100% with the. With the Brown Town. All right, line two is Kenneth. Kenneth, are you there?

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

How are you, Kenneth? Good.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you coming?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Are you coming to my speech today? Out there? May say, are you a loser?

[John Holmberg]

No, I got work.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Gotta work. Well, that's good. Most people under the Obama administration can't say that, so at least you consider yourself lucky. All right, Kenneth, good luck to you. Here's your sound and your character.

[John Holmberg]

Go.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Okay, Donald, I got the first one. Can I hear it one more time?

[John Holmberg]

Anything for you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

All right. The yes is President Obama every time Kenya calls. And that second noise is Carly Fiorina's washing machine on a Saturday night with her vagina placed firmly in the corner.

[Don King]

Correct.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I think that's right. Am I right? You can't prove me wrong on that. All right, Brady, have a guess. Kenneth, you buzzed in. You try.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, go ahead, Kenneth. What do you got? Can I hear him again?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Kenya on the Carla Fiorina pleasing herself on a Maytag.

[John Holmberg]

There's the second one.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

A pod right there. We don't know. We can't tell you yet. You have to guess them both.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, guess them both.

[Don King]

The first one is Emperor Falcon.

[John Holmberg]

And what do you think the second one is again? Pod racer. Which one?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh, I know which one it is.

[John Holmberg]

Whose is it? Figure out who I want to say.

[Don King]

I want to say Anakin.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, it was Seboba's Pod Racers. I got that one. Sorry about that. We got to let you go because you're a loser, Kenneth. Goodbye.

[John Holmberg]

Solid Donald.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, I knew Seboba's thing. I tried to give the guy a shot. It's also Carly Fiorina's favorite way to please himself. Cause no one will touch that honey hole, I guarantee it. If you got a picture of Carly Fiorina's honeyhole, you'd think someone left a hot ham and cheese out in the rain.

[John Holmberg]

You can't say these things.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Why not?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know, you'd think so. You'd think so. Speaking of a lunch black.

[Brady Bogan]

Check that. It's true.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's true. Well, if it's true, I just.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It's a weird hot ham and cheese on pumpernickel or some sort of darkened bread. And there it sits there in a rainstorm and no one will pick it up. That's Carla Fiorina's honeyhole. We've got John on line three. John, are you there?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

How are you, John?

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing well. How are you doing, Trump?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Doing really good. You know, people like me, I feel a bird of 42% of the polls right now. Feeling good. You're voting for me.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm thinking that your polls will probably go down.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah. You know what's not going to go down? Everyone on Carly Fiorina. That's for sure. I guarantee you. Have you seen that thing?

[John Holmberg]

And you're picking on her.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Tell you what, it's easy to pick on her. You know what should be picking on her? Her ob GYN and getting all those bumps off. All right, good luck to you. John. Here's your sound and your character. Go, Donald.

[John Holmberg]

Donald's in.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's what I. The first song is me. When I wake up in the morning, realize President Obama is still the president. And the second sound is President Obama practicing for a steel drum band when he moves back to Kenya.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm sorry.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Incorrect. It feels right. It feels right.

[Brady Bogan]

Good effort, though.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It feels right, though. Okay, that's what I think's better.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Here's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. And the customer is always right, as they say, which I bring up because I just read a thing. I can make everybody kind of stop that. You know how they. They've always said that. Brady, you worked at Porkopolis for years. The customer's always right. Everybody's heard that. Do you know that? That isn't at all what the original saying was. I learned that this weekend. The customer is always right is what it turned into. Which is a stupid thing to say because there's a ton of times the customer's really, really wrong. Yeah. Like they come in and they do some dipstick thing and they act like they deserve it, and then their. Their end result is to yell at a manager. Well, you know, the customer's always right. So whenever I complain, no matter what I'm saying, you can't. You can't fight back or I'll tell your boss, like, give it. And a lot of bosses and people think that's where it ends. The original phrase was, the customer is always right in matters of taste. And it was a department store saying, don't question them if they like something or it looks bad on them. Don't ever say that looks horrible. The customer's always right in matters of taste. It's theirs.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So that is where it turned into the customers. A huge difference because that means you're wrong a lot as a customer and you should be. The customer isn't always right. Sometimes the customer is an asshole, and they think they're right and they're really wrong. I've dealt with the public. I have nightmares still from working in the service industry and restaurants and hearing that. I want to talk. Brett here is the worst waiter of all time. He did this, this, this, and this. Like, actually, man, that's how we do things. Well, I don't like that. And, you know, the customer is always right. I'm sure Matthia deals with it. The customer's always right always comes out of the mouth of somebody you would have punched anyway. And then when they do that, you're like, I just want to light this person on fire. Anybody has a gall to say that. Usually is, but not. But now you have the ammunition to fire back. Say, actually, ma', am, that phrase is, the customer's always right in matters of taste. That's it. If you don't like the way something tastes in a restaurant, you want to say, the customer is always right in matters of taste. I can't argue with you. This tastes like garbage. Here, I'll give you another one. But if you want a whole free meal and you're starting to scream about this, oh, customer's not always right. Use it wisely. Fight back to the idiots. Is that how Bill Osborne used to handle things? The great bill Osborne? Tony Romos. 87. 94. It's on his tombstone. 1987. 1994. The great bill Osborne. No, he did not, actually. Normally, the customer would be right, but in this case, judging you by how you dressed when you left the house, you make a lot of poor decisions. That dude would dress down. A person complaining better than anyone I've ever seen in my life.

[Don King]

Life.

[John Holmberg]

One time, there was an old lady. This one just dawned on. She came to the stand again. Bill Osborne was Gene Wilder, Visually, Jack Nicholson. Verbally, the strangest combination of all time. Looked very friendly. Like you're walking up to Willy Wonka. The big puffy hair, you know, tall, six, two, six, three. And he's standing there. Old lady came up and started to say something. Now the old lady had, like, some bad choppers up front. I'm standing right next to Bill. She comes up, you say the ribs fall right off the bone. Well, they don't. This was terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

It was.

[John Holmberg]

The food was dry. And, ma', am, I noticed that all that dry food is missing because I'm looking at a plate of bones here. Well, it doesn't mean I wasn't hungry. I choked it down. Yes, you did. And let me tell you Something else. You know, there's a certain thing we don't say on the sign because we don't have enough letters. You have to have teeth in order for the stuff to fall off the bone. And she stared at him and he just smiled like, what do you got now? Yeah, well, you are just one of the rudest people I've ever dealt with. You're not the first person to tell me that. What do you need? That was his big thing. What do you need? Well, I just think there should be. Do you want a free meal? I'll. That's what you're after. That's why you came in to eat. You were gonna find something wrong. Let me knock that down and in fact, give you a coupon here. And then he gave her like a 25 gift card for next time. And as he's leaving, he goes, highly recommend you stay away from that little bowl of spearmint mitts. Not good for your mouth. She just walked out like fearless. But even after that, she came back like a week later. Used to know to use. They're very loud. One dude wanted to fight me once and I gave him gift. My boss ended up giving him gift cards. Another guy at the corporate office with the customers always write, John, you don't do that. Like this dude tried to write me a check with no name on it, no address, just a piece of paper that said pay to the order of and an amount. And I'm like, I can't accept this. It's got. Because I'm offering you a form of payment. Legally, I can give you an iou and that's a form of payment. It was a party of six. It was like a. I'm like, man, come on, give me a break. I cannot. Would you take this from me if I was buying something from you? You're absolutely right, I would. Legally, that's a form of payment. And I'm like, I'm. I'm not taking this. Well, then we're going to talk to somebody. So we're on the phone with the boss, guys losing it. He throws out the customer's always right. This guy's, you know, he's embarrassing me in front of my family. And I'm like, I'm embarrassing you? You wrote a check from no bank with no name and address. My ass gets reamed if this thing bounces. And then. So the guy on the. My boss on the other line calls. He's Peter. His name was Peter. He was equally as goofy. He was from New Jersey and had a Texas, New Jersey accent, which is the strangest thing you've ever heard. And he looked like Bill Cower. And I get back on the phone, and I'm like, this is what I'm dealing with, Peter. He goes, that guy's an asshole. And I'm like, he sure is Peter. And he goes, give him whatever he wants. I'm like, no, that's it. So he gets face to face with me he's never heard of. The customer's always right. I'm like, yeah, but you're wrong. So you're not a customer. You're just a guy who's not right. The cooks were. Because I had him in my office, cooks were watching this thing. I thought we were going to come to blows. He leaves. Like, two weeks later, this dude comes back and he's got a whole bunch of gift cards in his hands. And he goes, looks like I was right, at least according to the corporate management. I'm like, fair enough. And I shook his hand and I said, just doing my job. I've been told this, that that's fine. And he goes, and we're going to have another free meal tonight night. That's great. And I said, let me get you a drink. First round of. You don't even have to use your gift cards. I've got it. And trust me, the first round was satisfying. I'll just say that ball dipping. Didn't dip my balls in that one. I actually didn't do anything. I told the bus boy who was less than clean. His name was Dylan. Should have been in the kitchen. He came out for a little while. So, Dylan, here's a couple drinks I need you to deliver, and I need you to take care of them for me. You got it, boss. Like, I don't know what he did, but Dylan was filthy, and I was just fine with that. Absolutely. The customer is not always right in matters of taste only. So arm yourself with that whenever if you're in that industry. Especially hauling into the Christmas season where there's temporary employment and all these stores and things like that, and you got customers fighting you. Customer is always right in matters of taste. Remember to add that ending. And don't be a person who says that. Customers always right. That's stupid. If you throw that mom out, I hope you run into Bill Osborne. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness, A scientific study of beer goggles. They studied a bunch of people again. Well, no, this is like a real. Like, what does it do? And they've discovered that it changes. But there's an argument. Like, I immediately had an argument to the tv. So they say that when you drink too much, people will become more attractive. And then that's why you make the mistake of finding someone attractive when you're drunk.

[Brady Bogan]

You lower your standards.

[John Holmberg]

And then the next morning you're like, oh, no, what have I done? Like, this is. She's disgusting. They say that beer and alcohol will change the asymmetry of a face, which is what is technically what makes someone attractive. Which is why I'm unattractive. I look like I've had Bell's palsy several different times and sort of recovered. Like, half of my face is shaped totally different than the other. My eyes are in the wrong spots. So that's symmetry. Your face has. Both sides are as similar as possible. That's. That tends to make you more attractive. My nose is crooked. I'm way off. I'm way off. I'm poorly built. But alcohol will fix that. They did prove that alcohol will take the asymmetry, the problems, and put it together to where it's like, this is what it should look like, what it doesn't do. And they discovered this. They have thousands of people. They get them drunk and, like, show them pictures of people. And, you know, they'd rate them beforehand and then rate them after they went up drinking. And everybody that was ugly got a little boost. What it didn't do, and this is why I don't think it's real, is it doesn't make better looking people worse. I was gonna say, what about these broads that filter everything? And then you get on Facebook and like, oh, whoa, right. It doesn't change. Like, it. It's so. You'd think it would constantly be a thing they said. It's not. It's essentially the whole study was it's still up to you to make the right decisions in life. And, you know, maybe it's attractive, maybe it's not, but know what you're doing and know that when you get drunk, you're gonna probably.

[Brady Bogan]

It, I mean, they say kind of lowers your judgmental standards.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it just. It makes you a little more flexible when you're drunk. Your inhibitions are definitely different. And you're. You're more likely to do something you wouldn't normally do, especially because you're kind of having a good time. Your body feels relaxed, and then you lean more towards the idea of, you know what feel great right now? Humping. Which drunk, to that degree, rarely is that good. But, you know, then you Start looking around.

[Brady Bogan]

Anybody tonight?

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the whole point. You get drunk, everybody gets a little bit better looking. Everybody's. The key to it is everybody's a little more fun when they're drunk. Because the last thing you want is somebody sober around when everybody else has had some pops because they're. Then you start to see what, what, like the boring thing. And then you move on. But they said that. And I'm like, well, if that was the case, then if it's true that beer goggles are real, then when you put them on and look at somebody who's attractive, it would change them too. It would take somebody who is symmetrical. Well, no, it would make them worse because if they're symmetrically all right already, it would start moving them the other way, wouldn't it? Like if you're, if you're scooting, you know, like eyes that aren't exactly right and your nose is crooked and it fixes that, Wouldn't it take somebody who's. Oh, who's good and overcorrect and over correct? Like, what if that's the case? If it's.

[Brady Bogan]

And they didn't really address that.

[John Holmberg]

No, they just basically said it's only for ugly people. Beer goggles are only for ugly people. Good looking people are good looking. If you've got beer goggles or not. Well, then there's no. Then there's no beer goggles. Then it's eliminated. Then it's just your inhibitions have gone, ah, screw it. I'll take that one. Deep down, you know when you're drunk, this chick is probably a little bigger than my norm.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't care.

[John Holmberg]

And the next morning when you lift those sheets up and look and it's like, oh my, what have I done? And you've got that parachute panties on the ground. And I've never done that. Thank God. I've never been. I've always.

[Brady Bogan]

The alcohol is a crutch on that one.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you blame alcohol for you just being weak. Yeah, yeah. I have always been a strong drunk. Always. I've always had that rule that ever since my friend was accused by those two guys at the restaurant when they came in and said, said, we're gonna come in and talk to you a little bit about rape. What? Because he had sex with a girl who was drunk. And then I found out the law that if a girl who's drunk has sex and then changes her mind a couple days later, you raped her. That's a very real rule. So my rule was if she's got a few pops in her. Don't touch her. She can change her mind after you're done.

[Brady Bogan]

Does that work the other way too?

[John Holmberg]

Like if you wind up taking some uggo home and then you say that she raped you. Great question. She took advantage of the fact I was drunk. I don't think. I mean, come on, officer, would I really do that? Right? And that's the one rule I've always had, is like, I hope I get a male judge. That I'd be like, come on. You think I. You think I volunteered for this? Something was going on. But the beer goggle study was very interesting because it was. It only worked on ugly people. It was only for people who were disgusting. And they're like, yeah. But they basically debunked that beer goggles are why you make the decision. Like, they're like, no, that's still you. Deep down. They found that everybody in the study was like, I knew what I was doing. Yeah, but she seemed better than she was. And I think that's more like a personality thing.

[Brady Bogan]

It was fun that night. Next morning was weird.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're having fun. Well, it's true, because you're. You're kind of hungover. You're sober again. Decisions are being analyzed. When you're drunk, you don't really analyze your decisions. Make your breakfast out of the trough. It's in their kitchen. And know, I mean, yeah, by all means, go to her place. Oh, yeah, you don't want to know. When you live, take a hog home. But they said what makes people plus back then.

[Brady Bogan]

You haven't changed your sheets in two months.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Yeah, that's true. Back when you were younger and doing that kind of stuff, they said that alcohol did impair face symmetry detection. It has no influence on facial attractive judgments. You still know what ugly is. You still know what pretty is, is you're just more tolerant of things that you'd normally dismiss. Soap. So it isn't beer goggles. You still see the same thing, but you're like, eh, why not? So you do a little bit more. I'll throw it in that. What the hell? It's sort of like gambling.

[Brady Bogan]

You're either winning the El Cortez.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Don King]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You're throwing $5 on the table. You're like, ah, screw it, 100 bucks. It's that decision. It's like, I normally would. Wouldn't do this. But they ran a field experiment and helped determine why people often experience unexpected and regretted sexual escapades when they're drinking and it was basically just saying it's, it has nothing to do with you finding the person attractive. It has everything to do with you just being, you know, more willing to let go, lower your standards. Well, you don't, when you're drunk, you don't analyze well, if I do this, this will happen. You don't go down.

[Brady Bogan]

It seems like it would be fun.

[John Holmberg]

Your cognitive. Afterwards your, your cognitive reasoning and all the things are like, yeah, I shouldn't, I should probably not do this because she's gonna say something to me and then she might think you don't care about the repercussions, you just do. But I also think that beer goggles are. And if it's only for ugly people, then it's not a thing. Because if it only makes ugly people better looking, what does it do to better looking people? It should, it should either make them goofy looking or what. Like you'd wake up, you very rarely would wake up next to somebody and go, geez, she's a lot better looking than what I remember last night. But it could be said that it works both ways though too because it may give you the courage to step out of your normal realm. Like, you know, the, the nine that's over there and you know, you're usually pulling a seven, you know, or whatever.

[Brady Bogan]

She has to regret the next morning.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. She's got a couple pops, she's got the beer goggles on. Wakes up next to John C. Reilly. A really good time last night. Thanks for coming by. What have I done? You have to keep it down. Yeah, but that's for women. That. What was that movie with Seth Rogen? And he knocked her up. Yeah, I forgot her name, but she was really hot and he knocked her out.

[Brady Bogan]

Katherine Heigl.

[John Holmberg]

Katherine Heigl. And they had that thing where they were going to try to make a relationship out of their beer night. And like, this is the dumbest movie I've ever watched in my life. Just doesn't happen. But yeah, for women to do it. But that's the thing. A woman can just leave and a guy's like, ah, she, I banged. I banged her. That's all we can. We got. We did it. And she leaves a guy. A girl like won't go away. Like she can confuse that whole night for that connection for, for like you. It meant something. And you got to be careful with that. It's the best of Homberg's morning sickness. Some. A Kupd Shalom. I did notice the Jews were having a Huge Jew softball game yesterday. My. They invite you? No, my friend Aaron said, what's going on at Granada Park? She comes to the Steelers thing, and I'm like, oh, it's the annual bowl game. Yeah. Well, I don't know if it's. I think it's weekly now, like, yesterday. Oh. Because Saturday I rode my bike and I rode by it. I'm like, man, that place is packed. And, you know, you'd hear a bat make the noise to a ball.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, man.

[John Holmberg]

And then you hear, hey, man. Hey, I got to throw my things at second base. You're trying to stretch a single into a double. It only works in retail. I noticed that there was a game going on, but I was like. And so Sunday place was packed. And she said, what's going on at Granada Park? I'm like, well, it's Sunday. It's a perfect day. So there's juice off ball. That's a thing. And it's the most amazing thing I've ever watched. And then Mexican people with those tents go and use the grills, and they invite all of it. Like, there's. I've never seen. I don't know how much food you have to have those little tiny park grills. I don't know how Mexican people do it. They can make food for thousands. Yeah, it is amazing on that tiny little grill. And they all have tags, tents. It becomes a community of little weird tents just everywhere. And the one grill that's about three by two has. It's like Jesus is making food for him. A six them with probably Jesus is making food.

[Brady Bogan]

Miracles happen.

[John Holmberg]

It's a miracle Grill. And maybe we don't know about it as white people, but the Mexicans have it. Just go find a Miracle Grill, call everyone. And they go to the park. Like, I'm glad you've all gathered. I have one piece of meat that will feed us all because of Miracle Grill. They're Granada park miracle grills. There's three or four of them, and they're surrounded.

[Brady Bogan]

This looks like there's four burgers on there.

[John Holmberg]

They serve 200 people, and everybody's got two burgers, one in each hand.

[Brady Bogan]

Never run out.

[John Holmberg]

How come you guys can do this? Miracle Grill? Your crackers are. You won't even use them? Like, no. We've never once even thought of using Miracle Grill. It feeds everyone.

[Brady Bogan]

They scoop out the water, the pond, it turns into wine.

[John Holmberg]

Watch this player. Granada Park. No, it's Pinot Grigio.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the Gria.

[John Holmberg]

It's unreal. Meanwhile, we're like gross. I'd never use a public grill. They figured it out. And single handedly the Mexican American population surrounding Granada park down here in Phoenix is keeping the temporary pop up tent business alive. I've never. There's thousands of them. It looks like an art and crafts show breaks out. But it's just for Miracle Grill. Meet us Saturday, Granada Park. I'm bringing one patty. Miracle Grill will take care of us all. Hundreds and I would never go to a barbecue where I'm like a hundredth in line on that little baby grill.

[Brady Bogan]

He only has one chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't matter. Miracle girl will handle it. That's not happening. Zeus can eat thousand with that one chicken.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not happening.

[John Holmberg]

Watch this. Miracle Grill. Miracle Grill, Everyone enjoy chicken. El pollo miraculoso. Crazy. But that was what was going on yesterday. The juice softball is going highly. Recommend you hit Granada park on the weekends when they're not allowed to do anything. They can't touch anything. They play some softball in that gear.

[Brady Bogan]

Open grills.

[John Holmberg]

And then the smell of Miracle Grill going like cow face. Like they cut the face off a cow and throw it on Miracle Grill. And everybody's got two. Two burgers. I don't know how it happens. And like tents just start showing. One tent touches another, it makes a third. They go up like crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

Two tents love each other very much.

[John Holmberg]

We know how to procreate with tents. We're good at it. Yeah, it's crazy. And it looks fun. Like I've never been to a white barbecue and had any fun. Usually just dudes talking about weather, traffic. Yeah, white barbecues are.

[Brady Bogan]

It's got a new policy.

[Don King]

More mayonnaise.

[John Holmberg]

For what? For the barbecue. Ew, no. Here's some flavorless stuff. Put that on top of there.

[Brady Bogan]

Mmm.

[John Holmberg]

White bq. I've never been to a barbecue party. I just like a steak. That's all I need. I want to go to Miracle Grill and find out. But they never clean it. I never see anybody like scraping off the park. The city grill. There's pigeons and ducks everywhere. You know they're feeding off of that at the end of the night.

[Brady Bogan]

Most of the time they foil it.

[John Holmberg]

I think they're raw dogs.

[Brady Bogan]

Too much faith in humanity.

[John Holmberg]

Let me tell you this again. Half the time there's another problem with white barbecue. Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Too much faith in human foil. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Good old fashioned barbecue doesn't have foil. You raw dog right on the flame and you let the. The life of that grill seep into your food. But I ain't Doing that on a public.

[Brady Bogan]

Not if they're doing glizzies.

[John Holmberg]

They're not doing everything. What are you talking about? Not if they're doing glizzies. Well, they foil your glizzy so they.

[Brady Bogan]

Don'T fall sometimes between the eyes.

[Don King]

Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Just face them the other way. You'll be fine.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, perpendicular. They roll. Perpendicular works, right?

[John Holmberg]

They roll on foil, too, when they try to. You're dumb. You tell me all day. It's the stupidest argument I've ever heard in my life. I'm telling you, hot dogs roll. Not away from. How slow are you? You can't catch the hot dog before it hits the back of the grill.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a bad design.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

The wind kicks up.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing on top of Everest?

[Brady Bogan]

Spin some.

[John Holmberg]

No, Nope. None of that happens. He got grilled. He got grill defensive. Yeah, because he's a white griller. He puts foil down.

[Brady Bogan]

He's a white what?

[John Holmberg]

A white griller.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

He puts the foil down. Which immediately makes me realize there's a chance one of my fillings is going to hit some foil and I'm going to shoot to the moon and back. Thanks to mayonnaise. White people grilling foil. Schmoyle. You let that grill do its life. But I'm not doing public grilling because of ducks. Geese. Goddamn. Who knows what going on. Homeless peeing on homeless. Pissed. Exactly. The life of the girl happens. Heck, yeah. You can arc it. We've seen Calvin and Hobbes.

[Brady Bogan]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, so go enjoy that this week. We all do. Veterans Day. Nice barbecue. Miracle girl's amazing. He makes a point. Everybody using a Miracle Girl. There's a Jesus nearby. That's true. There is that.

[Brady Bogan]

So that's what happened to Porkopolis when broke on foil.

[John Holmberg]

This aluminum is killing so much. Well, we lost another 400 hot dogs.

[Brady Bogan]

They rolled away.

[John Holmberg]

We don't know where they went. The other ones just slid through the gigantic creases. How small is your hot dog that it would slide through the grill?

[Brady Bogan]

They're not kosher.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

They're thick enough, but they. I think. I don't know why. I think they do it on the.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brady Bogan]

The foil people. That public grills put the foil on there. So they're not cleaning the. They don't have to worry about cleaning the top. That's the only thing I'm going to figure out.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you do that, though? If you're worried about cleanliness, you wouldn't use the grill. Have you Done a lot of observing.

[Brady Bogan]

At the public parks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he hangs around. Can I have one of those? Get out of here, cracker. You're not a recipient if you cannot have any miracle grill food.

[Brady Bogan]

John, you also have to consider that the guy on the grill is usually cooking everything after downing a 24 pack of Modelo. But he somehow. He somehow makes some ass kicking carne asada and pollo asado.

[John Holmberg]

That's racist. He's not drunk on a full case of Modelo. Maybe half. He didn't drink 24 of them. Gotta feed 150,000 people in five minutes. Impressive. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's good to be on top, isn't it? Yeah. So get on top and ride with the top morning show in town and the best of Holmberg's morning sickness. Multiple people now emailing me that Larry McFeely should date Deborah Milkey. You know, it's no Jodi Arias. She's not getting out anytime soon. And we actually thought the crazier the lady, the better. One good thing about Deborah Milkey is, you know, medically, and I don't know if a lot of ladies know this, your hymen grows back. After not using your stuff for seven years, you technically re virginize. She's been in jail for 22 years. I'm not sure how many visits could have been used. I mean, it could have been. Could have been. Could have been beaten up badly. But maybe, maybe she was treated with some sort of royalty. You got to find out by asking. You don't know by guessing. You only know by asking. So. And Debbie McFeely has a nice kind of role. A little less crazy than the chicks Larry stated in the past. Not real good with kids, as Mike Rembrax points out. But what are the odds she does it again? Another person said true. So, Larry, maybe. Maybe this is just the loony that we're looking for for Larry McFeely.

[Brady Bogan]

Holiday parties and station get together. Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Fantastic. So you're dating Deborah Milkey, huh? Yeah. You guys like her? I think we have to. I think this is one of those moments where we just have to be nice to the boss's girl. How do we set that up? Is she gonna be like, on. On an Internet site, you think? Yeah. How fast? Well, and this is the thing and all right, here's the reason I bring this up is because Brady hands me a story after and I say, what are the odds she does it again? And I don't know that Mexico is such a disaster. Up and down, border to border, coast to coast. Nothing good happens in Mexico while the people in charge of Mexico remain in charge of Mexico. Even you can't even do a friendly visit to your jailed family without this. A former police officer jailed for murdering his wife, killed his entire family when they came to visit him in prison. Now, I don't know how that even happened.

[Brady Bogan]

How does it he pull that off?

[John Holmberg]

Domingo Villa Arellano, 40 years old, was jailed in a maximum security Punta Grande in Guadalajara in 2006 after he killed his wife in a jealous rage. Jealous rage. He was so mad at his wife, whatever she had done, that he slaughtered her, got kids with her, killed her. Anyway, the next sentence blows me away. His long term girlfriend, Isella. Wait a second. How did he do that? How does a girl date a guy long term when the last thing he did as a free man was slaughter his wife? He's misunderstood, John. So anyway, she's been his long term squeeze for the last six years because I guess there were no other goods. He's the best option in Mexico. She decided to take their two kids and stepdaughter, his kid, to visit him in prison. No one could have predicted what happened next. When the kids said, we're not real big fans of Isella, Dad. We like the mom better. Remember the lady you slaughtered? She was nicer to us. And we don't really care the way this Isella lady treats us. Well, that was enough for Domingo Villa Arellano to say, ah, where's a wire? And he stabbed and killed everyone in the room. His kids, the step with a shift, the long term girlfriend. So.

[Brady Bogan]

And the oldest daughter actually got away.

[John Holmberg]

Here's another great quote.

[Brady Bogan]

But died.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she was 17. She ended up dying at the hospital. Another great quote. According to state Attorney General, General Luis Najera, all the guards were busy during the incident, playing cards. Well, then you're not guards, because your whole purpose is to guard the situations that normal folk who are free are talking to guys who have murdered. And where was he getting the weapons? They were just on him. Wires in the room.

[Brady Bogan]

He had a piece of metal, a.

[John Holmberg]

Little chunk of metal, and a wire he made. He made weapons while they, I guess the whole family sat inside pounding, screaming. Where are the guards?

[Brady Bogan]

He had to have known something was going down to begin with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he had to. He wanted to kill them going in either way. So you say, what are the odds they do it again? And then you got this guy. But more importantly, credit to this guy's ability to swing a chick Because I don't know, I'm pretty much as a friend talking every girl I know out of dating the guy who last. How did your last relationship end? Oh, I slaughtered her. Oh. You guys want to get some awesome blossoms? He's adorable. I want to be his long time catch. Everybody deserves a second. No, they don't. No, not everybody does.

[Brady Bogan]

He feels he's starting fresh again.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because he wiped them out. Took the blood of the youth. No, not everybody deserves a second chance. Totally disagree with that. You slaughter your wife, you shouldn't be on match.com making moves and certainly shouldn't have. I sell her. Longtime girl going, well, he's changed. I don't know who's. Who's her parents.

[Brady Bogan]

How old do you think the next.

[John Holmberg]

Family day is gonna go jail at that prison?

[Brady Bogan]

Not just for him, for anybody.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody. Yeah, one bad apple. He ruined it for everybody else in the jail for family Day. Especially the guards, who really have to be on point.

[Brady Bogan]

Now, the guards also saw the guy going nuts, right? I'm not going in there.

[John Holmberg]

Going in there. That guy kills people. Mexican is really good. They don't have guns. Guns are nothing compared to this dude. He makes weapons out of paper. Look at him slaughter his family in there. When he's done, he's gonna get a stern talking to from Generalissimo Warden.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, Domingo, knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, are you done in there? It's horrifying. Maybe they maybe get a job out of this. Actually. Well, he's a former cop. That tells you everything you know about Mexico. Might be a cartel that pulls him out. Bottom line is it tells me all I need to know about that cesspool country of Mexico is that this girl's best option as a mate. Well, he's only killed one woman. What's the big deal? He's a real keeper. Well, man, I would. You can't just say it's Mexico because you got the brothers.

[Brady Bogan]

And he probably took her out so he could be with. Took out the first one.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Chicks are crazy and they'll date prisoners. It doesn't make any sense to me. But again, you bring up the Melendez brothers. Interesting Mexican last name. I'm just saying. Mexico. At the very least, if you visited the Melendez brothers, someone would be in the room to at least walkie talkie over some help. When he started to slaughter four people. Yeah, probably not gonna get away with that. And here's the other part. The 17 year old girl escaped from the murder and had to run away before she Found anybody? This was just like in a shack somewhere nearby. This is a setup. Vandersloot can't get him off him. I know. That's the.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

There's another one. I don't understand. How do you go so. Even if he's lying to you, Van Der Sloot wasn't. He told that girl, I'm Joran Van Der Sloot and I'm hiding in Chile for all those murders.

[Brady Bogan]

Your eyes.

[John Holmberg]

What is wrong with you ladies? You know what? You never hear about guys getting murdered by a woman who's murdered before. We don't date you anymore as a group. She killed a couple people, but she got a kind heart. No, you're out. Deborah Milkey won't get a guy to date her now. Maybe.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No dude. No dude will. Will commit to banger. Maybe. Yeah, I'll bang her. But no dude's gonna be like, I'm marrying Ms. Deborah Milky. It ain't happening.

[Brady Bogan]

She'll meet the guy that has no idea who she is.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. I don't find out.

[Brady Bogan]

I think Looney goes to both genders.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it's half as loony as the girl gender.

[Brady Bogan]

Still.

[John Holmberg]

No way.

[Brady Bogan]

Half is a chick's.

[John Holmberg]

You don't see. Like, we make jokes about Jodi Arias, but you don't see a line around the prison on visiting day like you did when Scott Peterson went to jail of women who had some time who he was. No, you still won't do it. Guys are still like, well, didn't kill a man.

[Brady Bogan]

It is different.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, chicks go nuts because we don't have that. We want to change them. We don't have that bad girl desire. We like dirty girls. We like girls, but we don't like to date them or to bang him and then learn our lesson. Yeah, there's no line around the prison to go hang out with Jody every day at noon in San Diego. They had numbers. Or was it San Diego or wherever that. That Peterson guy was? They had to draw numbers for visitors. The dude was a star. They do it all the time for these sexy murderers. Women will do remember the guy who was the horrible human being that they made a look at this model's mug shot. What? Did you just hear what you said? Yes, he's gorgeous. Look at the eyes on this man. Do you know what he's getting? And the guy's gonna be a model now. Then they found out, oh, he's got some sexual assault and attempted rape and a couple of murders under his belt. Maybe we shouldn't make him the face of our new product. But Chick still ate him up. Yeah, that scared me when I read that next one. When his long term girlfriend came to visit. How did your last relationship end? Oh, my wife, she was a bitch pig. And I cut her from her genitals to her throat like a tupan trout. And I open her up and I throw her intestines into the air and I scream, nevermore. The streets will flow at the blood.

[Don King]

Of the infidel woman.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, my boyfriend just left me for another girl.

[Brady Bogan]

It seems like you really care.

[John Holmberg]

You have emotion.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's your menuda.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You're deep.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And then he served her menudo. Here is some menudo I made for you out of my wife. Oh my God. You made me dinner. You don't see nothing through the trees. You can't see what's going to happen to you. I just know I like menudo. When a man makes it, eat it right from the intestines of a woman. I am a crazy man. You're just the spitfire I'm trying to tame. You're sweet. You don't understand what's about to happen to you. First I will punch you in the face. Yes, I like it rough. You're insane. I shouldn't be a gent. You should. Yeah, I wonder if I want to be the mother of your children. Okay, But I'm going to kill all of you. You know this going in, we don't need paperwork.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You roll the dice.

[John Holmberg]

You know you're going to die, right? Nah, I'm not. You're silly. This bitch is a keeper.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

I want this slut in my house right now.

[Brady Bogan]

Over the pros and cons of dating me.

[John Holmberg]

And how is he not jealous of this one if the last one ended in murder because of jealousy and he was free and this chick's out doing whatever she wants and he's in the can wondering what she's doing. How does she not put two and.

[Brady Bogan]

Together we don't know the whole. I mean, I see it long term girlfriend is. Maybe he was getting rid of the first because he had he liked the.

[John Holmberg]

Girlfriend better and that's good to her. Oh, the girlfriend.

[Brady Bogan]

She killed for me.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Thank God you killed for me.

[Brady Bogan]

And then he all suddenly hears, wait a minute, you're not treating my kids well.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Well, he's got morals.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what? They're all messed up. I'm taking them all out.

[John Holmberg]

This is Romeo and Juliet. Times like 100 yeah, yeah, it's Jeromeo and Juliet. Beautiful. I just. I don't understand the female brain. Not all of you, but a good portion of you that you don't talk to each other about stuff like this. A nude would say, you know, she. She killed a guy, right? Yeah, but she's different. She killed a guy. He must be a very attractive man. Dude, you don't know the circumstances. He has picture. That's the other thing, Eric. You just say he must have been a very attractive man. There are 30 of these at Home Depot right now. She could have had anybody. Horatio sans him. It's the. It's the drawing. It's the Mexican guy. Anyway, the world's all gone mad, I tell you. Mad. Merry effing holidays from the big red Radio Holmberg's morning sickness. This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop.

[Brady Bogan]

Now if you're thinking about heading up.

[John Holmberg]

North to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just going to stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. And then Christmas is upon us. I don't know if you're getting all your Christmas cards. Getting a good pile going at the house now. Yeah, a lot of Christmas cards. And I saw a story, one of my favorite ones maybe ever as. You know how real estate agents will sometimes. Like if you ever dealt with a real estate agent, they'll send you, like even if you just go into an open house sometimes you put your name down and you get a Christmas card from someone. You don't even know who it is, but you just get a Christmas card from. There's a lady in Georgia who's a real estate agent. So she's got a bunch of cards. She got about 12 left. So she goes to her database and just randomly chooses 12 families to send her last few cards out to. She'd send them to her family or friends and all that, that and then throws another one out there. It says, hey, thank you for everything, for a great 2024. Have a great day. So she gets a knock on her door from a guy who says, hey, I don't know what you're thinking here, but you got to explain this to my wife. It's like, what this is? Random Christmas card says, we talked In June, she thinks I bought a house for my goomar, and he thinks that I did business with you, and I can't talk her out of it. This is Merry Christmas. We're happy to have you in our real estate family. And the, you know, just gets it to this dude, and he comes flying into her house and says, hey, you got to do this. So she's like, I'm not doing that. And he said, you sent a Christmas card to my house by mistake. And my wife accuses me of buying a house for my hidden girlfriend because you supposed. You supposedly talked to me back in June, and you got to straighten this out because it's getting really, really ugly at my place. And she said she called the doghouse hubby who put his wife on the phone, and she said the stormy spouse was able to laugh about it. She was actually very nice. She said. They both were. I apologized and said, you know, I come from a church background. You give Christmas cards to everyone, whether you know them or not. And the wife's like, well, that's a little weird. She said, but I have more. More than enough cards to send to you guys. The lady's like, yeah, that's okay. I understand. This dude's got. This wife's not asking any questions. If she's got the suspicion that the real estate agent bought a house for the goomar. And then the real estate agent calls and goes, now, that didn't happen. That's silly. Then you guys got away with that one. Lady, I don't know about you, but it's pretty obvious what's going on here. She's gotta be hot. She must be so hot. Cause she's. That's like having a family try to fool you with twins that don't exist. You gotta be sexy for that to work. I mean, how stupid is this wife? That's a pretty dumb move right there. Did you buy a house for a girlfriend? You're out of your mind. I'll be right back. I gotta go to. Hey, lady, what the are you thinking? Dropping off Christmas cards randomly saying we did business together? I got girls all over town. My wife thinks I'm buying them houses now.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you making a bag for?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know if you can tie those two things together. It's a little late, but if you keep that up, this. He's gonna throw you in there. Ladies, if you're suspicious that your husband has purchased a home for a girl, you can't get mad at the real estate agent. Can we just make that well, Doug Hopkins can't take a punch from somebody because he bought a house and he's taking the business. Real estate agent doesn't say. Is this for moral good, this home you're purchasing?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

None of your business. He's just buying a house. And if he's gonna stuff a side piece in it. That's the wife's job to figure out.

[Brady Bogan]

He's diversifying.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He's, you know, he's keeping her happy, quiet. And, lady, you can't get mad at this real estate agent who just fired off a card. They send out cards like, I gotta. I got one for my plumber. That doesn't mean I bought a house for someone else who had bad plumbing. We haven't had a plumber here all year. Well, I gotta go. Travis, you gotta help me out here, man. She thinks the plumbing's gone bad at a girl's house that I purchased, but it's too far.

[Brady Bogan]

I wonder how often that's happened. That the. You know, like a couple together for years, husband passes away and, you know, it's the discovery part of. Oh, he had three houses.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And never move out. You know, the stuff that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And no one was, you know, it wasn't assigned to anyone. So she gets it by.

[John Holmberg]

If you're purchasing homes for people. Well, you wouldn't get it that way. It's not like a will or trust or anything. It goes right to probing, which is good. If he didn't keep it on the. If he didn't keep it in the legal.

[Brady Bogan]

But the surviving goes away.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's the thing.

[Brady Bogan]

She would know about it.

[John Holmberg]

You'd think so? Yeah. It should definitely be, you know, you put it into Kumar's name. You can't buy her a house. You know, you got to have some sort of a LLC over on the side no one knows about. Or you put it in the pork shop, bought it. Or Bada Bing bought it. You don't do it yourself. That's dumb. But if you're suspicious that your spouse is buying homes for someone else. It's not the real estate agent you should be yelling at. You're getting a little sloppy there, real estate agent. If you're gonna start selling houses to my husband's girlfriend. I don't know what you're talking about. I just. I sell houses now. Doug's gonna have to have that in his commercial. I wanna buy your home, but let's keep your girlfriend out of it. It's insanity asking too many questions. Don't. Yeah. If you just go in and say, I'd like to buy this. The real estate agent doesn't say for whom. It's a rental property. And also, dudes, if you're out there buying houses and not telling your wife about it, that's gonna backfire. You can't do that. Ladies get. You know they're not too happy with those giant purchase is they're not in it. I got us a house today. Are we moving? Nope. We're going to rent it to these beautiful college girls. Oh, that sounds like a nice idea. Sure, sure, sure. Found the kindness of my own heart. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to give them a free rent for the first year. How will they pay?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

We'll come up with something. This is dumb. But yeah, the real estate. That's a Christmas. A Christmas wish for everyone. A beautiful one. It's also also pretty. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. The best of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the big Red radio. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by allproshades.com if you want to get your shady life together and you want to do it right, you want to make your house look pretty and beautiful. We saw a couple on Camelback Country Club, those beautiful awnings that were coming off a couple of these houses. My God, it, it does. It's attractive. You can add a lot of value to your house with these things. And it's not that crazy expensive. It's actually really good. Head on over there to allprochade.com you get a motorized shade right now. They'll throw in a heater for those cooler evenings. You want to sit on the beautiful, beautiful patio that you you've built with allprochade.com Brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix. Hello world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of basis fun facts. This past Sunday, the Denver Broncos beat The Cleveland Browns 2912.

[John Holmberg]

Good job, Brock.

[Brady Bogan]

And that score was a score gummy, which is a term for a final score that has never happened in the NFL.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. 2912 is brand new.

[Brady Bogan]

Cross more than 17, 500 games. Unique scores like this happen a few times a season.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

The most common final score in NFL.

[John Holmberg]

History, 20 to 13.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you're close. 20 to 17. Oh, that's happened 286 times. Most recently on November 5th, the Washington Commander Skins beat the New England England Patriots by that score. No woman has ever officially run a.

[John Holmberg]

Mile in less than four minutes and never will.

[Brady Bogan]

The woman's.

[John Holmberg]

If I have anything to say.

[Brady Bogan]

World record. World record is 4 minutes and 7 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

You're getting there, ladies. Another hundred years.

[Brady Bogan]

The men's record is 3 minutes and 43 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

We blew up that 4 minute mile. I didn't know it was that low.343. You were flying. That's like 20 miles an hour though. The whole run. How is that possible? Those canyons will knock that out. They're running those 4 minute miles for 26 solid miles of a marathon. They're. They're.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the guys.

[John Holmberg]

Amazing.

[Brady Bogan]

I think the last Boston Marathon, I think he was right at running 4 minute miles.

[John Holmberg]

It's amazing like when you see them run because when I ran in those marathons, they look, the Kenyans go first, then everybody else kind of hobnobbing around. Just get to watch them take off. It's. You sit and you feel pretty good about your pace. Those dudes are sprinting a marathon.

[Brady Bogan]

The word vodka comes from the Russian word vada, which means water.

[John Holmberg]

To them. That's what it is. They drink it like that. They're hard people.

[Brady Bogan]

According to a new survey, 82% of people. People are open to receiving secondhand holiday gifts, which is up 11% from last year. Have you been talking to people?

[John Holmberg]

There you go, Brady. Is that written in your scrawl? Everybody's okay with getting a re gift.

[Brady Bogan]

Used electronics is the most common, Followed by sporting goods and home improvement items.

[John Holmberg]

Popcorn machines. Yeah. And expensive kettle corn machines. Let's not just call it a popcorn. Popcorn machine. Ready? Re gifted.

[Brady Bogan]

Jewelry, video games, arts and crafts.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a gift. It's you. It's. You're just basically second handing a friend. The thought's not going into it. If I go through my stuff I don't want and wrap it and give it to you. That's just the ultimate. You're not celebrating Christmas. That is the ultimate. The cheapest thing you can do.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady, I'm wrapping a lot of shifts this year.

[John Holmberg]

Don't wrap things that have been in your house. I bet you Toledo would love this. Throw some wrap on that. Like I thought about it. Get it out of here.

[Brady Bogan]

Underwear again?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Gently used. If you really like someone enough to get them a gift, go out and get them a new gift. If they see something at your house you don't want anymore and they want it, just give it to them. Don't go through the charade of wrapping it. That's just Rude.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's a list of some bizarre items people have donated to Goodwill. A Guillotine employee thinks he's. It went for $30.

[John Holmberg]

They sold it again.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Goodwill.

[Brady Bogan]

Bags of groceries. Bags of garbage. Not by accident either. A basket of taxidermy kittens.

[John Holmberg]

Ew.

[Brady Bogan]

A glass jar labeled Fart. June 1975.

[John Holmberg]

That's a novelty gift. That's funny.

[Brady Bogan]

A Louis Vuitton purse with human teeth inside.

[John Holmberg]

So a lot of this stuff is just, like, evidence from crimes. You're trying to unload.

[Brady Bogan]

An entire cardboard box of original newspapers from historical events like Kennedy's assassination, Nixon's resignation.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Man on the moon.

[John Holmberg]

Take that to an antique shop.

[Brady Bogan]

A glow in the dark. Ouija board. A chair shaped like a Labrador retriever.

[John Holmberg]

Taxidermy.

[Brady Bogan]

A coffin.

[John Holmberg]

Goodwill coffin.

[Brady Bogan]

Underwear for squirrels.

[John Holmberg]

Goodwill coffin is a great band name. Yeah. Here on Marcus's show, Goodwill Coffin with Matt Damon.

[Brady Bogan]

Around 23% of us haven't started our Christmas shopping.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't. I got time. Amazon delivers exactly like, they can do it in a day. And now I'm loving it because my garage door, just like my garage is Christmas all the time. I go try to get in my car, and there's, like, packages laying around. I'm like, this is awesome. It just shows up. He's got codes to get into my garage, and I'm happy about it. By the way, I just got a text that said, I bought that jar of farts. It said jar of farts, and it had a date of 2012 on it. But the boss sauce label was worn off the expiration date on your fart sauce. You should do that. I bet you that would sell a ton more sauce that you fart in each bottle.

[Brady Bogan]

Authentic fart sauce.

[John Holmberg]

There's a fart in each bottle. And then show, like, just a video. You doing a few bottles and then pouring sauce in.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's get to some pretty over here.

[John Holmberg]

It's no different. Hey, that's why we need the tamale build, Brady. That's why it needs to be shut down. Because you don't know that some guy isn't just farting in each bottle before he pours in. I don't know that you had to go through proper, you know, state stuff and get, like, make sure you're doing this, like, legitimately, or you just be farting in bottles and pouring things in. It's terrorism to have people bring you food that hasn't been looked at. It's an open door to bad guys.

[Brady Bogan]

I got One story for you, John.

[John Holmberg]

That you're having my buddy in Montana.

[Brady Bogan]

Send this to your boy. University of Montana athletic director has just directed the Montana Marching Band to play less during football games.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, it's happening. This is the greatest week in the history of sports.

[Brady Bogan]

The University of Montana is in the FCS football playoffs. They've got a couple of home games coming up and the AD said you need to play less.

[John Holmberg]

He's me and he's in charge of something and he can stop it. Matt Canada gets fired yesterday and the marching bands are going to start dwindling away. Oh, sweet Jesus, this is wonderful. Marching bands, if you had it without football, would anyone come? No, no, no one would go to your stuff. Your parents. That's it.

[Brady Bogan]

When Chris was in high school, parents, it was fans, family were at that competition.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody goes to your stuff. They've shoehorned you into our sporting events to give you relevance. And now we're gonna try to pop you out. Oh, that is that lit. That's the warmest holiday.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a good holiday for you to start out.

[John Holmberg]

Every time a marching band stops, an angel guts its wings. Zuzu.

[Brady Bogan]

Listen.

[John Holmberg]

No more sloopy. Oh, it's beautiful. Oh. The only thing that would be better is if a meteor hit Michigan next week or Saturday and killed the marching bands of both Michigan and Ohio State, which takes.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's a. That's a big swath of people, too.

[John Holmberg]

Just bounced off of one and hit the other band and then bounced out of the stadium. No, no, the fans would be fine. Just the bands. When?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, just the.

[John Holmberg]

When Michigan's on the field, they get rolled over, and then you hit the section that you Ohio State bands in, and then it moves on because they take way too much pride in their stupid bands play at the big game. No one's in the crowd, one's on the field.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, then they. I mean, they both sit up in the stands.

[John Holmberg]

And I would like that to end. And Montana has begun. Oh, and then if we could get rid of parades. Next. And now, all the way from Shin Li. Oh, God, A small town. Here's the marching band of the eighth graders. Like, this is gonna be the worst thing I've ever heard. As they pay tribute to one of the best artists of all time, Leonard Bernstein. Those kids don't know who Leonard Bernstein is. Why are you making them play this?

[Brady Bogan]

Now they're rendition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, here they are doing their latest silk sonic skate. Ah, those kids sure can honk.

[Brady Bogan]

The annual study is out on the most sinful cities in the U.S. based on the stats of the seven deadly sins, Vegas number one again. Followed by Philadelphia, L.A. atlanta, Denver, Dallas, Phoenix, Miami, and Cleveland.

[John Holmberg]

We're on the list. Cleveland's on the list. It's a sin to live there.

[Brady Bogan]

The least sinful, Pearl city, Hawaii. Fremont, California. Ridgeport, Connecticut. Madison, Wisconsin. Port St. Lucie, Florida. They retired. Salt Lake City.

[John Holmberg]

Well, everything, everything you do there is a stand.

[Brady Bogan]

So a man in Oklahoma named Jose Silverio wanted a beer early Sunday morning. Didn't want to pay for it, so he went into a convenience store, used a pipe to smash the doors of the two coolers, stole a beer, drove off in this Land Rover. The employees called the cops. He got away. A few hours later, Jose crashed his Land Rover.

[John Holmberg]

It's a Range Rover. Sorry.

[Brady Bogan]

Through the front of a grocery store. It's unclear if it was an accident or intentional. He was drunk. Either way, he realized he was done. So he just cracked open a beer, chatted with a few of the witnesses, waited for the police to arrive.

[John Holmberg]

There was a guy on OP Live a few weeks ago. They pulled over going like 140 miles an hour on a high speed chase. By the way, have you watched Car chase channel yet?

[Brady Bogan]

Not yet.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good lord. They go back to the archives. It's just great. Car chases through time. When they're, when they got nothing, it's like, let's, I don't know back to 93. Here's Riverside. It's from a helicopter. But anyway, this guy gets pulled over and they're like, what'd you get? What, why did, why were you doing that? Because I got so many and I got drugs everywhere. Cars full of them, ran out of gas. He was on a motorcycle, actually flying. He goes, all right, he goes where? He goes. Pockets got these cargo parachute shorts. They're pulling just sacks of it out there. And he goes, can I have a cigarette? And the guy's like, you can have anything you want. You're not gonna be doing anything for a while. And he goes, yeah, I know, I know. That's why I ran. Went so far, he ran out of gas. And he just sat there. Just didn't care. He knew he was cooked and he was really cool. He and the cops are joking around. He's like, know I'm done.

[Brady Bogan]

Speaking of high speed, did you see.

[John Holmberg]

That horrible accident in Tempe? Broadway and rural do doing 150 miles an hour? I heard about that.

[Brady Bogan]

Just obliterated that intersection. And now it's time for some smugglers news.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, does he know.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello my friends. These are stories about people carrying contraband and getting busted. We call it The Smugglers News. 46 year old man in Florida named K. Caleb Phillips was being screened by a corrections officer at jail on Monday when they discovered that he had a plastic cylinder in his underwear tucked under his junk. Caleb said it wasn't his guess what was it? What does he have there? He suggested someone put it there while he was sleeping. When the officer started investigating the cylinder, Hib said he thought it contained ads.

[John Holmberg]

Of course.

[Brady Bogan]

Decent guess. Amanda Clement didn't know what was there, but it turns out it was meth inside. Caleb was charged with narcotics possession, smuggling contraband into a detention facility. Both felonies. He's being held without bond.

[John Holmberg]

You're telling me a man with a vial of pills lied to the authorities about what was in it?

[Brady Bogan]

My had no idea how it got.

[John Holmberg]

There and we had that. What would Brady do yesterday where his daughter said that's my roommate's cocaine, I believe my little angel. Okay, cocaine in your daughter's apartment. Of course she's not doing it. Drug addicts, druggies never lie about whose drugs it is. That's. They're very forthright when it's like, are these your drugs? Yes. Watch OP LIVE Every single time a cop says, hey, these drugs in the center console, do they belong to you? Never once do they say, no, yes, those are my drugs. They say every time.

[Brady Bogan]

Christopher Boyd, 32 years old, was a passenger in a vehicle pulled over around 2am on an obstructed license plate. The driver and the second passenger were eventually released after being searched by the Evansville, Indiana cops. Pat down of Boyd, however, turned up a small bag with multiple pills in his right sock. Boyd repeatedly said he got narcotics from his aunt Trish.

[John Holmberg]

I have an aunt Trish in Indiana.

[Brady Bogan]

Believe the pills to be were Percocet. He used the painkiller because he had a bullet lodged in his spine well before being placed in the cruiser. Kind of. They searched through and claimed it was unable to spread his legs because due to a spine injury. So they brought him down the station, he limps into the station, check him out and they find up another bag of pills under his bag right there.

[John Holmberg]

Tucked under his jump.

[Brady Bogan]

And then they go for the anal cavity search.

[John Holmberg]

Listen to what they find in his ass. I read this yesterday. It's amazing when you think about it. You should get let go just for trying. Amazing.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady, they found a Smith and Wesson.

[John Holmberg]

What? Handgun in his ass.380 caliber.

[Brady Bogan]

Attack the small compact but still so didn't say if it was loaded or not. But they retrieved it. They retrieved.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he had it in his Indiana. You know, that's what I mean. I mean, even think like, you've got to think about what he went through. I got a bag of pills and a handgun. I'll stuff the handgun up my ass and put the bag of pills under my balls. No, you do something different. You put the pills up your ass and you hide the handgun in the car. Nope, put him in his ass. That isn't. That is a.

[Brady Bogan]

It weighs around 12 ounces. It's too big. 5 inches long. So with a micro frame size. My next question is as soon as the lights go on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that when the hiding starts?

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Brady Bogan]

In the car when he gets. Getting pulled over.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's.

[Brady Bogan]

The lights go.

[John Holmberg]

Duffed it in his ass right when the blue and red started flashing. I think he had it in there.

[Brady Bogan]

You think he was going to a.

[John Holmberg]

Joel Osteen show or what? I mean, I didn't have a gun in my hand. Could you have felt like it? A lot of turning.

[Brady Bogan]

That's. That's pretty.

[John Holmberg]

Things are kind of small edges and corners. And, you know, when you're trying to move a chair into a door frame, you got to go sideways. I think a gun would be very similar. Like, it's not just a straight shot. The butt plug at Osteen was just designed for that. Well, he could have had the handle hanging out. Well, they would have noticed that. They wouldn't had the. To search. I think they'd have said something before they found the pills under his sack. If there was a gun handle hanging out of the guy's ass, he's got.

[Brady Bogan]

The gun handle hanging out and still holding the pills. I think I'm going handle first.

[John Holmberg]

Let me tell you this. I think I am too, because at least I don't want the. Yeah. I don't want to go barrel in. Also, he was sitting in a car when they found him.

[Brady Bogan]

He was passenger.

[John Holmberg]

So if the. If the gun barrel's out, he'd have been squirming around an awful lot. That was all the way up.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's. There's a turn involved. That's getting a couch out of an apartment. There's. You put the straight side in, and then you got to start turning it. That is. That dude puts his mind to the right things. He'd become an entrepreneur because that's. It's hard to. I would imagine. And I've never tried. I Might when I get home. It's hard to put a gun in your ass. I'll take your word for it. I'm gonna go ahead and let everybody know that.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a tough. The Smith and Wesson bodyguards.

[John Holmberg]

Weird shape. Speaking of things and asses, can we all kind of admit, have you been to a PetSmart lately? We talked about this the other day. A friend of mine and I. The Kong aisle, they're up to something. Those aren't dog toys. The big long one now.

[Brady Bogan]

Need to go buy a Kong.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the big long one's about a foot and a half. It's got two bulbous heads and then a twisty center and a handle in the middle. I mean, last I checked, that was a double doom.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Maybe it's because they. That viral video of the guy sitting on the jar, they're like, let's prevent this.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody will just keep it. So there's the gun. That was. That's what was used. Wow. Well, here it is in the hand. Okay. But that's a lot of turning. It's a light groove. Is a 90 degree on that? That.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah. And even 45 degree angle still four.

[John Holmberg]

Or five, let me say.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, he could have had his ass.

[John Holmberg]

Could have been like the holster and he just.

[Brady Bogan]

That one video.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. I mean, you know, the cheeks. He must have been a fat man. Yeah. Okay. If he's a big fan.

[Brady Bogan]

That one video where the guy's doing both arms. You got five or six of those bodyguards in there.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

When the guy's going up to the elbow, leave of him.

[Brady Bogan]

If his cherry's out like that I can see. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's still worried about that Rosebud thing. It's on his mind. Can we pull the video up again? Yes. We're watching it, though. Stand up loud. Don't do it. The. Yeah, that's not designed for that. But the Kong aisle, there was one that you put peanut butter in. And I'm like, it's got a point on the top and it bubbles. And I'm like, this is for her pleasure. These aren't dog toys. And I know they're just laughing all the way to the bank because my dog's got one. And watching them pull on that double dome. Indestructible machine. Washable. It's all the same.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna have to ask the boys at MMP Guns if they sanitize all the guns.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I was gonna say they have an aisle of those other things. They might look.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a mule section.

[John Holmberg]

Love Byron, love Eric, love the whole operation over there at MC Money Pawn. But if they had a gently pawned district of Sex Toys.

[Brady Bogan]

I think they used to have an adult section.

[John Holmberg]

Videos? No, no, no. Everything. Toys.

[Brady Bogan]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not. You're not even allowed to have mattresses change hands without, like, going through government officials. Well, they were probably new. I mean, at that point, I can't imagine they were taking trade in. King Dong isn't being traded in for a pawn.

[Brady Bogan]

It's in a blister pack. They're next to the dishwashers.

[John Holmberg]

How about the guy who's got a handle of going? Eh, I'll give you three bucks for.

[Brady Bogan]

The best I could do.

[John Holmberg]

The best I can do. Here, fill these papers. This isn't stolen, is it?

[Brady Bogan]

That's a Jenna Jameson. Authentic.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know who that's been in, man, that's your smuggler's news. Yuck.

[Brady Bogan]

A Florida woman named Sarah Jimenez was arrested for stabbing her boyfriend in the eye for looking at other women.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, that Magpie.

[Brady Bogan]

Technically, she got him in the eyelid. Oh, and she was using a dog's rabies needle.

[John Holmberg]

No. Why does she have that?

[Brady Bogan]

They love dogs.

[John Holmberg]

Just in case they run into a dog with rabies. She's got an EpiPen.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. She was charged with aggravated battery. Send jail on 7500 bond. We've got. I've got some pee pee poo poo news.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends. Brady Bogan with your BP Poopoo news. This health digest asked an important question. Does farting burn calories?

[John Holmberg]

Man, how. How much do you not want to work out?

[Brady Bogan]

Women's Health also did a write up a while back.

[John Holmberg]

Also Brady's number one Google search.

[Brady Bogan]

They claim that every fart burns an average of 67 calories.

[John Holmberg]

That is incorrect.

[Brady Bogan]

It is not true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That burn 300 already this morning. If it was. Yeah, we'd be losing a lot of weight.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Toledo would be. Karen Carpenter. 67 calories.

[Brady Bogan]

When you learn one rip.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

The muscles that make it happen are relaxed. Relaxing, not contracting. Activating your muscles is what burns calories. That said, if you have to strain to release that blast of gas, it might burn one calorie, maybe two.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what's going on. He's hallucinating. He's hard as a rock for some reason. My dog, he's, like, biting the air, looking huge. Boner, like, flipping out. He found some mushrooms. He's gonna fall off the couch. Again, we need to have bus cam.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Follow him around a little GoPro. Yep. He falls off that couch three, four times a day.

[Brady Bogan]

Company's looking for content. We'll just set up a live cam.

[John Holmberg]

He's having a day.

[Brady Bogan]

The supreme court of Ohio. Oh, no. Suspended a Noble county criminal defense attorney for one year with two years of probation. He was throwing a Pringles potato chip can filled with his own poop into the parking lot of the county courts. Parking lot there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

He did it six or seven times.

[John Holmberg]

He dumped six Pringles cans.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my goodness.

[Brady Bogan]

And he thought it's a funny prank, but they were looking into it more to see. Well, he was on one of these trials and the person that he was going against would be in that parking lot too. But they couldn't find that beat.

[John Holmberg]

So he was just link.

[Brady Bogan]

He thought he was basically in court. Said I was doing it as a funny prank.

[John Holmberg]

Randomly heaving his feces and Pringles cans. Yeah. Hilarious. Putting them sealing up and just Nowhere ville. Who picks up a Pringles can and looks in it anyway? It.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, some caught him. They thought that was him throwing the Pringles can out. And then they went. Checked out the can.

[John Holmberg]

You open it?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if they had to open it or. I must have. They tied it to him. Yeah, well, they. They had to open up to do DNA matching up on this, did they? No.

[John Holmberg]

I probably picked up a rogue Pringles can, but I don't look inside to see if I've won a problem chips in there. She had trash. Whatever. I'm like, ah, this shouldn't be rolling around. I'm. I'm a decent citizen of Earth, you know, so I'll see a Pringles can. I pick it up and throw it out, but I'm not gonna look inside. And I wonder if there's human poo in this. And if there is, I'm not telling anybody. I'm just throwing it away. It's not a very good joke.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm like, these sour cream and onions taste weird.

[John Holmberg]

You would eat it. I'm still going in.

[Brady Bogan]

They melted.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, this must be an Italian guys Pringles because they're gooey and globby running rich. I'm not sure I like the new flavor, but I'm gonna finish the can. Burning them calories. Yeah. 67 calories. Every time I fart, I've exercised all morning.

[Brady Bogan]

Why would. That's your pee pee poo poo news.

[John Holmberg]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock Radio station. Putting the fu back in funny. Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. My Thanksgiving was just fine. It's, you know, normal, this, that, the other. But I've seen something now that has changed my life. There I was Saturday night in the Rah Rah Room. Son's new. Not the Boom Boom Room. No, no, I didn't go to the Boom Boom Room. All they went past the Boom Boom exclusive. My friend Mark and I, members only. That's right. And I am a member. Good story. Oh, I joined. I joined a long time ago. Feels gonna be jealous. Long time ago. So I tell my buddy Mark, he goes to the game with me on Saturday, and I said, I got the Rah Rah. So here's the fun part. Brett you to like this. There's an exclusive entrance to the arena for Rah Rah Room members. We don't know know that you won't ever find it. It's just for us, like the bat.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a symbol that only Rah Rah Room members know.

[John Holmberg]

I can't tell you. It's like your stupid handshake for your fraternity. Only mine means something.

[Brady Bogan]

You're in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So we walk to that. Because I. I gotta, you know, park at the apartment. Crossword. So walk to the thing, go in, and we've never been there. And Stebbings and I walk up and there's like six people at the door. And this big, tall black guy starts going, welcome back, gentlemen. Welcome back.

[Don King]

I remember you.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, he thinks all those pink people look exactly alike. I remember you guys. Welcome back. And he's shaking hands. What was your name again? He's like, mark. And you are? I'm like, I'm John. Nice to meet you. Now I think he thought Mark was someone else. He starts treating Mark like a God. And I'm just bald friend. And I'm like, he's not the member. Where's mine? Where's my ass kissery? I paid top dollar for this. So Mark said, I'm fine. We go into the game. We walk right through. We didn't have reservations. Got to get reservations for the dinner time. So we walked in and I'm like. We just see it. It's like we're at max capacity. Very small. It's a cool room. Can you get drinks or something? If you don't have. Well, if you don't have. It's not at Max Cap, but it was. And game nights are a little tougher than us. So I'm like, All right, so we just want to know where it was they let us in. This side thing. This guy is like. Like, you boys. I mean, good to see you again. And Mark and I are like, we have never seen you in our lives. So Mark and I just start walking around the bowels of the building because it's in this. Like, we're in, man. We're like, you want to go in the locker room? I know my way around this place pretty good from the years of doing media stuff. And then we wander into one of the clubs. We have no passes. We have nothing. We're just stealing stuff, walking through, go to our seats, and we're like, all right, how do we get back down in there? We don't have. Have any. So I. We walk down at the end of the second quarter. We walk down. We're like. We're going into the Rah Rah room for halftime because dinner serving's over. We'll go to the bar. It's a beautiful bar. Hop in there. Go back down there. And the guy's like, welcome back.

[Don King]

Look who's back.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, how come this guy likes us so much? This is weird, because we're gonna go into the room for half. Sure enough, we walk into this opulent. You would love it. Pictures of Sinatra. Oh, man, they got all the rat packs. Sammy Davis is driving a car in one of those. Beautiful. Looks like 1940s. Might have a Hoffa or two. Didn't. Didn't explore that. Looking around, I'm standing with Matt Ishbia, John Rom, the golfer. Mark and I are, you know, Cliff and Norm at the end of the bar, and he looked at me, and he goes, never gonna watch another second of basketball in my life. This is it. This is where we go. And I'm like, we are staying. We went down there at halftime. We left at 12:30. We're staying in the RAHA room forever. ISHB is hanging out. We're palling around with Sophie Cunningham and the Mercury. Oh, we had a nice talk with Sophie. She's better in person. She's beautiful, fun. Kevin Ray comes in after the game's over, his son Zach. We're getting blitzed at the Rah Rah room, looking around at celebrities. Oh, and then we're standing at the end of the bar, and I have here. Excuse me. Like, oh, I'm sorry about. Oh, sorry about that. Draymond Green and Steph Curry. I'm like, this is amazing. I have no business in this place. It was incredible. So I Go over. My dad's coming to town in December, and the place is open for dinners. And so at first, I like, what did I spend money on here? What did I buy? Is this worth it? Oh, is it ever priceless? Go up to the front desk, and I say, hey, my dad's in town, and I want to have a dinner on an off. Like, there's no sunscreen. Like, you're. She goes, let's check. And it was coming up in December. She goes, oh, yeah, sure. And I said, so we're gonna need reservations for that. That night. And the guy behind the girl at the counter says, normally you have to do this online, but we will make an exception. And I'm like, eh, you'll do what I say. And I just kind of threw the bomb out. Like, I paid for it. You're gonna. You're gonna do a little reservation. There's nobody standing at your desk. I'm not bothered. And I said, and we're in the bowels of the arena. There's no web down here. There's no Internet service. So she said, what's your name? And I said, it's John Holmberg. And she goes, all right, Mr. Holmberg, time this. Blah, blah, puts the reservation together. And she goes, and we will text you at this number. Is this your number? 480361? And I'm like, no, that is not my number. And then she goes, hmm, that's interesting. So I'm looking over the counter at the computer, and she's got my name in there. And I said, that's my name. That's me right there. And she goes, this isn't your number? And I'm like, no. And she scrolls down a little bit, and there's me, John Holmberg, with my number. And I'm like, hold on a tick. There's another John Holmberg in this thing? And she goes, it would appear so. And I'm like, I never met another one of those. Or did I get charged double?

[Brady Bogan]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, where's Bizarro John? So I looked. I didn't. There's a John Holmberg inside the Rah Rah room. That isn't me. It was the yacht guy or whoever you were trying to. That's what I'm wondering. Yeah. So I'm finally, maybe gonna get my dream come true of a John Holmberg convention, which was so quickly shut down by the Virgin Islands. Yacht Superman with a one word, you.

[Brady Bogan]

Could have your private party.

[John Holmberg]

I could have just he and I, and it would Be like, hey, man, what the. Remember when I emailed you and said, let's get all the John Holmbergs together? And you just emailed back and said, no, big flower email. Hey, wouldn't it be great since I'm like, when you Google John Holmberg, you and I are the only two that come up. Wouldn't it be great to just contact all the John Holmbergs and have a convention? This is 20 years ago. Have a convention of John Holmberg. Just throwing it out there. Hope your regatta goes well this weekend. Signed the other John Holmberg. Ha ha ha. No, that was it. That John Holmberg said. Now there's a potential that. That John Holmberg is in the Rah Rah.

[Brady Bogan]

He's in the Rah Rahway.

[John Holmberg]

I got a Southern John Holmberg. And by the way, how in the world have we not crossed paths? How does he not want to meet me?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe he's new in town.

[John Holmberg]

Must be. You gotta want to know the other guy. If there was a Brady Bogan that just showed, you're gonna meet this guy. So to the other John Holmberg out there, I'm waiting. This could be a moment. What if we're exactly. What if it's. What if we're the same dude? This is to Beth or something? Maybe, but he's got to be aware. Somebody's had to tell him, hey, are you related to that jackass on kupd? Like I'm unfamiliar with it. Tired of hearing about it, not asking again. You could be tired of it. You still want to meet him? Him?

[Brady Bogan]

You would have known.

[John Holmberg]

You would have known. Yeah. Here he's on this. David Holmberg, that was the pitcher for the Diamondbacks, knew about me when I made contact with the Diamondbacks guy to try to get him to do stuff. And all I said was, don't screw up everything. The name's already kind of got a thing going here that's not so bad. If you come in and give up towering home runs and important games and become the Bill Buckner of the Diamondbacks, I don't want that. That nobody ever thinks about the people with the same name. Bill Buckner isn't the only Buckner in the world. There were Buckners in Kansas when that ball slid through his legs. And they call it the Buckner now that this poor prick who's just got to go to work at some facility in Des Moines, had to deal with his whole life. You don't muck up another dude's name. But the. The other John Holmberg is a Thing, and he was in there. And I looked around for big noses and bald heads. Couldn't see it. They have breath. Didn't see. You did not see. God damn it. No. I did look for waiters who were looking at their bill going, oh, really? But that's it. He's a terrible tipper. The other John Holmer. It was pretty amazing. So we stood in there and we just got liquored up the whole time. Phenomenal. But now I've got a goal in the Rah Rah Room. But it was pretty cool at the end of the game. And there's Steph Curry and Draymond Green, and they're all walking through the Rah Rah Room. Ishbi is hanging out. This is cool. Now you can't see the game from the Rah Rah Room, though, right? No. They have TVs. They're underneath the arena. Okay. And there's no windows or anything. If there's a fire, the Rah Rah Room is just a tomb. It's a Great White concert. It is built. Great White had better exits. This is. You're in deep, deep trouble because there's no way in and out of this thing at all. Unless there's a door we don't know about in the kitchen, and then everybody's got to run through the hot, steamy steak kitchen. But man, oh, man, was that awesome. And I'm walking through the Rah Rah Room, and this maybe this guy was John Holmer. He. He's. I walked by and a guy goes, you said something? And I bow up a little. I'm like, what'd I do? I don't know what he's talking about. And he goes, you said something a couple weeks ago. And I'm like, oh, the show. I said, I thought. You thought. I caught you looking at your wife's cans or something. And he goes, no, no, no. There was some lady on the phone who was waiting for a food basket. And I'm like, oh, yeah, no, that was a pretty great moment on the show. Makes me uncomfortable to talk about it. Rah Rah Room listener. Maybe he was the other John Holmes. How in the world do you go through this and not meet the other me? And then when we would hug, it would be two John Holmbergs coming together as one and maybe giving each other the perfect consistency of hug, understanding what the other John Holmberg needs more than anyone else on this planet ever has. And then we would lock into this embrace for a while and go, I've never felt Love like this before John Holmberg. And he would say the same. And then perhaps a kiss, a long, deep kiss that only two John Holmbergs know how to give each other. One John Holmerg pleasing another John Holmer. The only person that knows how to do it best is me. It's weird, but he can't be doing too badly if he's a member down there. It ain't cheap. So he's not a deadbeat. I want to know what this John Holberg does. Is he the most successful John Holmberg in the city? There's. There's a good chance of that.

[Brady Bogan]

I just put John holmberg.

[John Holmberg]

That's me.

[Brady Bogan]

LinkedIn other home.

[John Holmberg]

You find him.

[Brady Bogan]

There's like 30 of them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's across the world. We're all over Sweden.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, I'm just talking in. In the States and I'm trying to think, oh, there's, you know, maybe the guy just moved recently.

[John Holmberg]

Minnesota, Pennsylvania, and any enclave of Swedes. Because what the Swedes did, my family, the dumbass Swedes, so much happier now that I'm Jewish, is that they came from the worst weather in the world and then found a place that's equal to it and stayed. I don't know what they were thinking going to northwestern Pennsylvania and living by that lake, but it reminded them of Sweden. It's cold, it's miserable. Lake effect, snow, it's horrible. The weather is brutal. If you're leaving Sweden for the United States, why did you find a place just like Sweden? And then they didn't like Pennsylvania, so they moved up a little further up into the Minnesota and started St. Olaf. It's colder there than it is in Pennsylvania. Miserable idiots.

[Brady Bogan]

There's some Jon John Holmberg.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't count. Okay, Johan Holmberg. It has to match. When she found the other John Holmberg's number, was that actually Brady's number? Because you guys do get confused a lot. That is true. If it was a visual thing, I didn't. I didn't think to call it it. Hey, hey, hey. And they got the. Oh, I thought that was Peter G. What is that? I don't know. Did you celebrate me home? That was something that just kept going. Oh, yeah, there it is. I'm the other John Holmberg and I'd like to get in. So here's the fun of all this. Now that I know there's another John Holmberg, technically, I get 20 buddy passes now instead of the 10 because all I have to do is tell people to just come in and say, you're on John Holmberg's tab. This is perfect. And they just didn't tell him. It's the phone number. Starts with a three. The other John Holmberg is the one. And how also have we gone this far? 24 years on the air without somebody calling or emailing and saying, I'm friends with the other John Holmberg. I have to know this guy. It's not common. I need a scapegoat. Something goes south and like, John Holmberg did it, I'm like, it was the other one.

[Brady Bogan]

Could be a direct link to Ishbia too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, come on. I'll tell you this. Jon Rahm did well for himself. That golfer was sitting in there. ASU's John Rom. Not. Not bad there, John. Good work, kid. Says, how could you not spot another giant nosed rabbi in such a small venue? Oy. Versus. Well, that's not funny, Vincent Thorne. But you're right. Let's just. Let's put it this way. There were a few Jews down there. This one. I don't know if this is true or not. A lot of lawyers in that room. I always tell you that. Says, I met the other John Holmberg. He's short like Danny Devino. He's the owner of Postinos.

[Brady Bogan]

That I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if that's true or not. John Holmberg owns Postino. Google that. Brady immediately. Brady went to his handbrake. Huh? How in the world has nobody said anything about. I didn't even know there was another me out there. What a lucky kid. He's short like Danny DeVito though.

[Brady Bogan]

Twins.

[John Holmberg]

There's. Somebody's already photoshopped Brady. Batman's already got that up. All right. I gotta post that one. Waiting to get a. Into places. He wasn't invited for turkey. That's great. Anyway, see, I was very excited about that. That was a. It was a moment. But that rah rah room is awesome. Bert, you're coming with me.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Now I will tell you this. On top of it all, Mark and I drank from halftime till they. Well, they closed at 11:45. We didn't get home till like 12:30. And we waymoed home. So cars stayed. So we. We were. We were down there for four and a half hours. And you know, I start. I got drinks for Kevin and Kevin's kid, Zach and Sophie and me and Mark and Sophie stayed for a second. Draymond. I didn't buy Draymond any drinks. Now, screw the warrior Suns didn't pop in There, but I expected them to. And at the end, the bill comes. Oh, and our waitress's name was Jaleesa. She's white. What? Yeah, I'd have lost that bet. Yeah, me too. When she said her name, I'm. I'm like, from Seattle. So, you know, we're going on and on about this thing, and the bill comes at the end and we drank $483 worth of. Whoa. A lot of drinking. And I turned to Mark and I'm like, that's your fault for straying off the vodka and sodas and starting to do these half caf, double calf martini nonsense. Half dry espresso martinis. Whatever you're drinking was 40 bucks a pop because you wanted to. You want to have the special glass in the special room instead of being a man. It was pretty. And they got a little free candy room. You go over there, just grab as many M M's as you want. Oh, and they're in the box. There's no. Like, they know. They know. Digging in with it.

[Brady Bogan]

Look like Willy Wonka's room.

[John Holmberg]

It does. It's very Wonka. Oh, it's beautiful. I wish I could take you guys with me, but.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna make Dale jealous. Oh, Dale's deal's never going in there. Never going in there. I'll get. I gotta keep it. I gotta keep it looking classy. Yeah, I can't have. I can't have Brady standing outside of the Rah Rah room. Come on. It was. It's nice.

[Brady Bogan]

The other John Holmberg will invite me.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe you gotta meet him first. I need to know this guy meets me in boombox. Oh, if you're standing, you gotta stand outside. Postinos. We've been partners for years and you. You didn't even know. There's a little tiny fat man outside. He's trying to woo me with song. Come out, John Holberg. Okay. You look very nice. I have to be nice to you. Very nice man. But please stop playing this music. It's two in the morning. You got leftovers. I know you do. The Rah room. Oh, baby. Oh, baby. This one says, what if the other John Holmberg is your exact opposite. Small nose, full head of hair, way over six feet and not a Jew. Might make me feel kind of bad if he's, like, sick if he's. If there's a really super hot John Holmberg out there. Like he's a real good looking dude. Got his everything together. It says the other John Holmberg appears really old and lives in Sun City. You May be the only one left. He's 98 and this guy just sent me his address. I'm not going over there now. That dude may have been alive the whole time because he's somebody I used to call and the phone book still came. I would call that John Holmberg, the Sun City one. And that was what, you know, 20 or 30 years ago, there's a new Holmberg in town. This John Holmberg has been old the whole time he was in Sun City. Van. But again, if it was 30 years ago, it's still. He's still 68. So, yeah, tick tock on the multiple John Holmbergs in this city. Right there. He's not a Rah rah room guy. 98 year olds, I'd have noticed that.

[Brady Bogan]

Pick out the rest of his number.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the other. There may be another John Holmer in the Rah room.

[Brady Bogan]

And that screen came up.

[John Holmberg]

For what?

[Brady Bogan]

And got the cell number. You know, you got part of it.

[John Holmberg]

But you didn't got a piece of. Yeah, yeah. I don't like that. Donovan says, yeah, it would be the opposite, except for instead of tall, he'd have a small nose, a little head. He'd be handsome. He's got a big dick. Just the opposite of you. Thanks a lot, Donovan. What if it's Dave Pratt pretending to be you and documenting experiences in his book, trying to wreck your reputation? That would be a. I got a. Pratt's not clever enough to do that. That's a good one. If it's. What if it's a guy trying to wreck me? He just goes around telling people he's John Holbrook and he's like, pisses in the middle of the Rah Rah room and runs out, my name's John Holmberg. And he leaves. Cancel that membership. The Raha room was great. Sons have something down there. Only the classiest people can. I have to. You know, there's a vetting process to even be a member. They tell me that they have to have an approval thing, so I have to have an approval to take people. And so far, you two aren't making the cut. It could be Beth swinging a big D down there. That would be hilarious if Beth said, hey, by the way, I used your name. Watch this.

[Brady Bogan]

If Stebbings made it in there, the standards are really low. You're telling us.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you right now, Stebbings is a name in this town. He's, you know, he's been in the business journal. He's a CEO of something I'm not sure what he does, but it's something. Guy's got some. He's got some cachet and he plays the game. Wander your ass in there. Where's the buffet? This isn't worth it. What are you paying for? Like, I'm out. I'm out. Where's the pinwheels? They see you and your powder blue tuxedo wander around. I'm not interested in that. I gotta keep you gotta.

[Brady Bogan]

Game's about to start. Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

Embarrass me and my new friend Matt Ishby. I got you wandering around with me. I can't have it, Rami. Yeah, and then you'd bother Jon Rahm. You gonna finish that? Well, I was, but your fork's in it now. I'm just. Just playing on anyway. So you got leftovers at the house? Rom I swing a stick. That's what I need. Brady asking for phone numbers. Next thing you know that John Homberg's guests are a problem. I gotta. You guys have to pick it up a little bit to get into that. So far, Stevb's is my only friend that gets in. I'll bring my dad. Maybe Trip. I'll drag Trip into the Rah rah rah.

[Brady Bogan]

Hopkins.

[John Holmberg]

Hopkins has the pull. Yeah, he's a little loud. I'll bring Hopkins. Hopkins can go in. Hopkins is in the wrong room. Well, that's a tight one, though. I'll ask him to wear a hat. Gotta cover up that hair. Yeah, or a hairnet. I don't really have any other. I would take Joseph from downstairs because he always looks so successful. You know, I can't be hobnobbing around with u tools. They'll put us in the kitchen. Probably horror or something down there. Oh, Dave. Har can't get in now. He's got his. He's molting. His hair is. It's in transition.

[Brady Bogan]

Leave a patch there.

[John Holmberg]

It's all. Yeah, yeah. And then Har's gonna have hair all over the food. It'll be because of us. Cause I don't know what's going on over there. He's losing it and keeping it at the same time. What's that? Ed can't go. Ed can't go. No. Nobody downstairs can go with me. Female or male. Not a one of them. Yep. None of them. I can't take anybody in the building except Trip. Maybe Joseph. That's it. Gosh, that's. That's. Sorry, guys. That's too bad. I mean, I don't fit in down there at all. Merry effing holidays from the big Red radio. Holmberg's morning sickness. And then there was a moment where somebody came. My favorite part of the Rah Rah room Saturday night. Somebody came in with a child on their shoulders and there was an audible groan. Ah, the whole crew's like, they allow those in here. It was ruined. Kids were behaved though, I'll give them that. And here's the other thing about the Rah Rah room. You're going to start seeing some stuff because the ladies in the Rah Rah room don't realize what it is yet. So the ones that came prepared, it was. They were decked out. Wasn't Sun's game attire. They were, you know, Phoenix Open type thing. Yes, very much Phoenix Open. It's going to turn into that. And so then you started to see the girls that were just in sons T shirts and jeans, like, oh, I can't come in here like this anymore. Every time you get in that place, it's gonna get a little bit more competitive. There's gonna be a fight in the Rah Ros Tommy Bahamas going on in there. Surprisingly not much, really.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There was, there was not much douchebaggery, to be honest with you.

[Brady Bogan]

I figured it'd be people in there.

[John Holmberg]

Talking about, you know, cigars and bourbon. There's some of that, there's some of that somewhere. I didn't. We av. Avoided it, okay? Mark and I had the Nikes popping.

[Brady Bogan]

All over the place.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna have, you're gonna have some special people, rare.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a good looking group, Nikes.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this, if, if there's anybody. Look, everybody in the Rah Rah room would be treating me the way I'm treating you guys. They'd be like, we're not inviting you, but I happen to get in now. I can't take you guys. I have to take people that look classy. For instance, as we walked in, the guy, I saw Mark and thought, well, he's clearly the member. And they fawned all over him. I'm a schlub. I look like a schlub. I act like a schlub. There's no reason for me to have gone in there. So they, you know, they look at us. We're getting escorted right out. We're getting the velvet rope to the other side of the room. Excuse me, sir. You should be at the Boom Boom room, not at the Rah Rah room. And I told Mark on the way back, I'm gonna get this waymo to stop at the Boom Boom Room. 16th to McDowell. We did the Rah Rah Room and the Boom Boom Room in the same night. Legendary. And I could have gone into the Boom Boom Room and said, well, my friend Draymond Green, who I was just talking to a second ago, he told me that he loves the Boom Boom Room and he might show up a little bit. You want me to call him? You know Draymond? Do I know Draymond? I just talked to him. The Boom Boom Room, you silly, silly people. Oh, I let him in here. I think that guy might know Draymond. Dude, can you call Draymond? Oh, it's midnight. What's wrong with you?

[Brady Bogan]

You're right. It's too early.

[John Holmberg]

Wonder if there's a membership to the Boom Boom Room. I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

There might be a VIP lounge.

[John Holmberg]

What if the other John Holmberg is Mr. Orange? We never learned his name. It's in there in the public file when he went to jail for touchdown, people. Good point. Pretty awesome, though. I enjoyed that. So, Suns, Matt Ishpia, Tip of the cap. That is a pretty cool place. Pretty cool place.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll be spending some time there.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this. I'm not watching any more basketball. Those season tickets are for sale. Those are done. They have TVs in there, Brady. I've never seen this in my life. The Suns were on. We're watching the game on the TVs. They're not like. It's not like Sports Bar. They're up on the wall when the game was over. Mirrors. Cool. I've never seen anything like it. And they were mirrors that weren't, like, bad mirrors. They were really good mirrors. Framed. If you walked in there, you'd never know. And when that thing comes on, you're like, what just happened? I haven't seen that before. And then all the TVs turn into mirrors or pictures of Frank Sinatra, and they look like art. It was the neatest thing I've ever seen. I really. I enjoyed my time in the Rah Rah. It's such a shame I can't take you guys. You're such rubes. I'm sure Tripp's gonna tell you all about it, because he. It'll be great. I'm gonna ask him to wear a sailing cap, though. Trip will probably know half the people in there. Yeah. He's gonna walk in looking like the captain. From Captain to Neil. Yep. Mr. Reeb, please. By all means. Yeah. Move.

[Brady Bogan]

Admiral.

[John Holmberg]

Out of the way. Rom Table belongs to me. Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Admiral Reeb, welcome. Yeah. Move. Where's the other John Holmberg? I got a bone to pick. So if you guys happen to know the other John Holmberg, he's. He's like.

[Brady Bogan]

Want to buy him drink?

[John Holmberg]

I hate to say it, but he's like the lady button of John Holmberg.

[Brady Bogan]

It.

[John Holmberg]

Can't find him. Guy is elusive. He's avoided me for all these years. I would like to buy the other John Holmberg a beverage. Just say, from one John Holberg to another. Here's the good friend. Tonight is kind of. Please go away. You got it. John Hornberg. It's not like my name's Smith or something. I've never met another me. Be great.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm the road manager for 311.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Oh, no. Damn it. Yeah, yeah, I know. People changed my height and I'm getting that too. Like everybody. When you Google search me, somebody changed my height to 5:9, which is hilarious. But I'm not, so. I'm not so small to go in and change that back. I find that to be hysterical. Plus, you're setting a bar so low, it's like. Yeah, the Internet said you were five nine. You're clearly six feet tall. Oh, my God. They want to know if it's the other John Holmberg that had the painting business and the party planning thing and everything else. My IRS nightmare. I don't know. Yeah, the stolen identity guy. What if it's that? What if I unleashed what unlocked a crime? Either way, I didn't get double charged. I'd have noticed that. Trust me, they would have noticed that when it all got declined the second time. Ski be Cooper. Yeah, be great. So much potential. These John Holbergs, they don't grow on trees. It's not like we're popping up all over the place. My name's also John. It's not like I'm Brad smith. You meet 20 of those in your life, you probably never met another David Brady Bogan. You wouldn't know a David Bogan or a Brady Bogan. You've got two chances. You've ever met a Brett Vesley?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No.

[John Holmberg]

See, you'd be excited if you saw Dick Toledo. Hasn't even met Dick Toledo senior. I mean, it's a pretty. No, this is. The odds of another John Holmberg that's good looking are the same odds as me having a big dick. What, you think the name is genetically flawed? I think that just because I didn't come out so great, the name screwed up. All other John Holmberg. Screw you. Says I like how it's only Brett and Brady you're considering to not take to the Rahway room. You haven't even mentioned Toledo. Go you. We all know why that is. Going to the Raha room with Toledo. It's absurd. He'd start. He walk around with a hat asking for change so his son can have an apartment. That scene from Cinderella man when he had to go back into the club and beg for money for rent. I'm not bringing Toledo in there. Toledo gets a couple pops in him. Next thing you know, he's in a with Draymond Green because he's leaning on him. And you know what?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm walking around with a hat on with the press tag in the side.

[John Holmberg]

O fit in in that room. The Rah Rah room. Pretty cool. There's a few listeners out there I would consider and that one of them he's already in. And then, you know, a couple other people I'd consider, but you guys are down. They're low on the list. You guys, Vasquez will sure be right there with you. I'm not taking David. I wouldn't take David Vasquez. The boom boom room. Yeah, you guys can't get in bad. Really bad. I got. I got class up my friend group.

[Brady Bogan]

How do we upgrade?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you can. I'm going to be honest with you. Pretty much set in stone the way it is.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the.

[John Holmberg]

The D's been cast. We're stuck with the rah Rah room. No, no, you're stuck with the boom boom room. I was going to say you're going be stuck there if you want. You're going to be cleaning it.

[Brady Bogan]

We apply for a job, I don't think weekends.

[John Holmberg]

I looked at the staff. I'm not. Not thinking of getting in there either. Not front of house. Not in front for sure. Not front of. Not going to happen. They're a candy man. No, they don't need a person for that. It's all free. It's. There's just. I went in there, it was like. It was 1930. And I'm like, there's a room of candy. And she goes, yep. And it's all in boxes. All the candy you could ever imagine. And then there's an old time movie, popcorn machine. And the girl turned to me and I swear it was like a 1940s movie. And she goes, anything you want. And the drawers are filled with soda. And I'm like, look at this. And I open all these refrigerated drawers and there's coke and non alcoholic beverages all through. I'm like, this is great. And she goes, and in 15 minutes, I'm gonna pop some fresh corn. And she walked out of the room. And I'm like, nobody talks like this. Where am I? I'm in heaven. Nobody pops fresh porn. You don't say that. No, it was great.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a pharmacist back there making the Soda.

[John Holmberg]

Sarsaparilla?

[Brady Bogan]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

$44, please. Worth it. No, the drawers of soda were like, oh, it's great. Anyway, I had an experience I'm just sharing with you, and I just happened to share it with another guy.

[Brady Bogan]

When you going back?

[John Holmberg]

Next Tuesday, Tomorrow night.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Stevie?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He's got the bank ticket, so we're gonna be on the floor. I might roll my friend Colin out because he's. He's one of those college boys, you know, he's an academic working over there at asu. He's kind of a big wig over there guy. I can take him. He'll. He won't embarrass me. Not like you two. And again, you're right, listeners. I mean, listening to Toledo and I know I'll get emails. Hey, you sound pretty hoity toity and high in my. Yeah, I know. I spent a lot. I'm not bringing these guys, you know, who to invite, who not to invite when you're in a room. I can't take them, Brady. A little more than Brett. Brett scares me. Brett would fit in the room better. In fact, they might actually. You would work there. They could. You could front a house. The rah rah room because you look the part. It's a. It's like an Italian mob restaurant. It's awesome. I haven't eaten there yet, but I will and I'll let you know. And at the end of the game, they're coming by is you. Like some. I don't even know what they called them up. They were meatballs on a tray that had like, parmesan porcini. What is that? I don't know. You eat it, you think it's a meatball, and it just blows up with cheese and. And flavor. And then the shrimp came by like, these are good. They dip this into that. I'm like, I can do all this. And none of it is just. It's all on plates. None of it's just like grabbing, like some sort of hillbilly festival that you guys would go to. Stuff for me and John Holmberg too, is it like the scene in Goodfellas where they're going through the kitchen and all that kind of stuff and it's like that secret entrance. It's incredibly like that. It's Durant, only new. Oh wow. It's. It's so cool. Just wish you could all get in but. Sorry. Well, and don't ask because it'll just be embarrassing. Yeah. Dale was trying to get in there last week and I'm like, yeah, let me take a look at it first and see. He's not going with me ever. He just looks. He doesn't look the part. You gotta, you know. Looked. You'll just embarrass me. And he's. Plus he sticks out up. It's like bringing an ogre in there. It can't do. Maybe on a non son's night. But I don't see it. So stop staring at me.

[Brady Bogan]

He'll want snails and spider webs.

[John Holmberg]

Start eating out of his shire. I go back to the swamp. Dale, you can't come. I like to go to the Rara roof.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe if you dressed up Toledo like a make a wish kid. You can. I don't think they're allowed in there. I don't think they'll let handicaps in. I'm pretty sure it's just for able bodied. You're doing that. You might as well bring Alec and Caleb. Bring the real deal, you know. Well, yeah, at least they're celebrity cripples. Yeah, I'll take a celebrity cripple in. But I'm not taking and not blankets while they're walking around and stuff. I'm not dragging Toledo in a wheelchair. Bacon one. But I got to meet that other John Holmer. Very exciting. The Rah Rah. It's been on my mind since we left and I'll be back again tomorrow and I probably won't watch any more Suns games. So don't ask me how they're doing because it's too tempting. I'm also going to go broke in there. I'm the poorest one in there. There's no question in my mind. I'm the poorest guy in there. The dude I was standing next to has four and a half billion dollars invested in the team. And he's not broke.

[Brady Bogan]

So it's one of his investments.

[John Holmberg]

Right. He has more than four and a half billion dollars. I know for sure because that's what he had to spend to buy the Suns. And there he was chatting away with us. And then the dude sitting next to him won more money in A golf tournament than I'll see in my entire life. And he's won several of those tournaments. So it was. I'm most definitely the poorest one. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Join one.

[John Holmberg]

Most definitely the poorest of in there. But I'm still in there. But I am the most. I am. I am the neediest. Except for maybe Sophie Cunningham, and she's got that WNBA salary. I know I'm. I know I'm. I know I got her beat. So she gets a discount or something. She's got to, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Staff deal.

[John Holmberg]

And the other thing I noticed is that Caitlyn Clark was at the game Saturday, not in the Rah Rah room. And I'd have figured that they'd have tried paraded her around a little bit. They didn't. But Sophie was in there. She's just fantastic. She's the face of the Mercury because the other faces. I'm a little worried bringing my dad in there, although he's. He's got.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

He.

[Brady Bogan]

Where's that cowboy hat and stuff?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, if he dresses up like a hillbilly or a. I'll talk to him. I'll set that up. Hey, dad, no uniforms, okay? What are you talking about? That's how I do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't embarrass me.

[John Holmberg]

No spurs in the Rah Rah. Go to the Rah Rah room dressed up.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you kidding me? You're asking me to not embarrass you.

[John Holmberg]

Wearing his duster and everything? And I'll ask you to leave. You know, I cut family off when they. You know how I'll do it if I wear a cowboy hat? You're not wearing a uniform or a costume. Just dress like a goddamn human being. We're gonna meet the other John Holmberg, and you might like him better. You know, you might. You might get the upgrade. Hell, I might like him better. Pretty neat. Yeah. Sorry to Toledo, though.

[Brady Bogan]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

He's not even if the. If the list of people to take was in front of me, Toledo would be on the last page and it would look like a Manhattan phone book. I would scroll through a lot of folks and I like Toledo, but I can't have him in public. That's embarrassing. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. Ladies and gentlemen, Don King is on the line. Very excited about this. Don King is joining us as we speak, promoting a fight this weekend. Don King is. Is there. Mr. King? Yes. Good morning, sir.

[Don King]

Good morning, John and Brady. How are You. I feel good to be back in Phoenix. From the ashes of the Phoenix, we shall rise again.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go.

[Don King]

Yes. You heard it right here on K U p D F M. Phoenix, Arizona. Beautiful. Humberg and Brady.

[John Holmberg]

That's perfect. Now, if I had a fight nickname, what would it be? John Holmberg. What would be fight nickname?

[Don King]

Well, you know, John's a fighting name. Don't forget John Wayne. You know what I mean? He was, you know, all those guys, that Big Duke, you know what I mean? Tough guy, man. Mean what I say, say what I mean and go out there and get him. So, John, you'll be the fighting John Wayne and you'll be right there to go out there and take care of business. And everybody would know who you are. And they know their fear will just come into their eyes when they see you step into the ring because they know you are ready to do your thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but Don, he would have real trouble with Brady Bulldog Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Well.

[Don King]

Oh, man, when you said the bulldog, I think about old Chesty in the United States Marines. Chesty was the bulldog. If that's the Marines. The Marines, baby. From the halls of. What is that? What's that? Halls.

[Brady Bogan]

Justice.

[Don King]

Oh, yes. From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Don King]

About our country's battles on the land as well as the sea. Oh, I love the Marines. Chesty, Bulldog. So, Brady Bulldog, you'll be a Marine.

[John Holmberg]

He's the Marine.

[Brady Bogan]

Semper fi.

[John Holmberg]

I love it.

[Don King]

I love it. And you got to support our troops. Let me start off right from the beginning, guys. We must support our troops. They're the embodiment of America. The men and women that wear their uniform, that give us the opportunity to be able to talk on John Holmberg and Brady and Phoenix, Arizona and with KupDFM. So let's salute our troops. Support our troops and make America better. Did you hear that, John McCain. Senator John McCain, did you hear that?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Don King]

Support our troops. You know, he's a veteran, too.

[John Holmberg]

I know he's an award, you know, like the ultimate.

[Don King]

Now we got a prisoner of fisticuffs up here at the Garden on 10 o' clock Eastern Standard Time Saturday night. This young man named the nightmare is that Samuel Peter would take on jamil Big time McLean. It's going to be a great evening of boxing. You see that show on showtime? What time? Showtime. And so now the other ones you won't see, but you're going to hear about if you get the chance to see it live in A living color. Andrew Galata, that terrific guy that's going to be fighting from Poland against the Ireland guy, Kevin McBride. True allure.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Allure.

[Don King]

An Irish lullaby. You know, the dandelions are jumping up in the field. Oh, daddy boy. Oh, daddy boy. All the Irish are coming out en masse to be Tyson.

[John Holmberg]

It's going to be great.

[Don King]

The Puerto Ricans. Viva Puerto Rico. Daniel Santos will take on Jose Rivera, and then the Colorado Kid, the Vera Williamson will take on Callie Meehan, the Thunder from Down Under. So we got a great show in store for you. You'll hear about the results, but you will see Samuel, Peter and McLean on Showtime because of Ken Hirschman and his infinite wisdom. So I'm just so delighted to be back in Phoenix again, where the Indians are, the Navajo and the Arapahoe, all of them. The Bennett process was signed there. I'm so glad to know about all of these things for that great state of Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. When are you bringing boxing back to Arizona?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Soon.

[Don King]

How long? Soon. Back to Arizona and loving every delicious moment of it, because I think Arizona is one of the greatest places in the world. And I was just there, and we had a heavyweight title fight there. And this young man, Shannon Briggs, in the last 25 seconds, knocks out Sergei Lakhevich. I couldn't believe it. It was history in the making right there in Phoenix, Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

Don King, do you ever have a moment where you're in a city and you're like, I don't even really like it here that much. It's very average. Is there ever a moment where you're just kind of mildly disappointed?

[Don King]

But now, you know what? Anywhere there's people. If I was in the desert, I would be disappointed if it wasn't nobody there, right? But, you know, because I love people, I be you up the rainbow, every race, color, creed and religion. It's very difficult to find me where people are involved. And I would be on a downer sometime I get exhausted, I get tired, I bet. I mean, but, you know, I get tired of being what I could be. And that means reaching out to touch someone and say, hey, help me, you know, to become a better person. So it's a thing here that I just love that, that state there, man, and it makes me feel good because you can work with people there in Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

So it begs the question, if Don King was wandering the desert alone, would anyone hear him?

[Don King]

Only the ants. And I would begin to talk ant language.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you would learn ants.

[Brady Bogan]

Not only that, don't you know what.

[Don King]

They'Re laborious though they work hard. The ants are really workers and they are. That's what makes them so different from anything else in the insect family. Because the ants build and rebuild.

[John Holmberg]

You would learn.

[Don King]

So they work hard all the time, dedicatedly and committedly. And so I try to be ant like, you know, working for the betterment of this great nation called America and being able to. Able to be with John and Brady Bulldog.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, John King. You just promoted ants. You know what, that's amazing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but by promoting the ants, he really pissed off the scorpion.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. So now you've got a bad one.

[Don King]

But the scorpions are a little vile. The scorpions bring evil. The scorpions bring, you know, a death, you know what I mean? But the ants, they just build. They make. They may mess you around and crawl on you, make you hit, you know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Don King]

The ants are always building, building, building, building. And they work dedicatedly and committedly. So we must persevere. So lesson in that, because just this last month, three fights in a row, fall falls out consecutively. I rescheduled one with Vargas and in Mayorga, that will be November 23rd, right after Thanksgiving. I saved the other one because of Ken Hirschman, again with Chad Dawson. Epiphanyo Mendoza stepped into the place of Diaconu, who comes from Romania fighting out of Canada, and we saved that show. And then on October 6th, we had Oleg Maskia, another Russian with a backache, and he came in and he fell out with the backache and we put in Samuel peter against Jamir McClan. Thanks to Ken Hirschman and Jim Dolan, we are able to save that shit show. So thank you, Ken Hman, thank you Jim Dolan, and thank you the American people, to be that, to witness pride, hope and glory. It's a real faith card that has really been putting together something that's really wonderful. That's why we call it faith.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Now this is. This is this. Okay. This is the second time you've been on the show, Don, I have to ask you, this makes us practically best friends. Can you send me tickets to go see Hatton and Mayweather?

[Don King]

Absolutely. Anything you want, you can get here.

[John Holmberg]

Perfect for the askyou know what?

[Don King]

Hadden is a terrific competitor. He probably won't see Mayweather all night long.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know he dances.

[Don King]

It would be long distance in there to go out to find Mayweather with his blinding speed, you know what I mean? It's like, you know, a bird rabbit and the tortoise, you know what I mean? So maybe the tortoise may be able to switch in and get him, you know, I mean, because that's the way it is. You heard it right. He has walked the cross. Cake would say yes.

[John Holmberg]

Don, they're telling us to wrap it up. Brady knows somebody, you know, and he.

[Brady Bogan]

Wanted to get somebody. We had a long time mutual friend. I grew up, and I grew up in Columbus, Ohio and my best friend's grandfather was a friend of yours, Jim Rhodes.

[Don King]

Oh, man, Jim Rhodes. You know what, let me tell you something. I love Jim Rose. I just got you talking about him early on. Governor Jim Rhodes is one of the greatest guys. His spirit still lives on. He's a 16 year governor, so that gives you an indication of how the people loved him in the state of Ohio. And he's a fabulous man. Honorable integrity and leadership. I mean, he was such a wonderful man. I really appreciate him. I'm a Buckeye too. But Jim Rhodes, he gave me a pardon, an unconditional pardon. When I come out of the penitentiary. This guy was just a governor for all the people. He was not a governor for some of the people. He was a governor for all the people. He epitomized Americana. And Governor Jim Rose, he was just a great guy. So his spirit lives on.

[Brady Bogan]

And I told about. You were talking about integrity and I told John this. John really wants to go to that match, the Mayweather match. And you came through with tickets to the Jacksons for us in Cleveland. So he says front row, Don King, he'll come through for you, John.

[Don King]

All right, John, John, all you gotta do is get information to this, this beautiful lady that's traveling with me.

[John Holmberg]

You got.

[Don King]

Her name is Ivy. If you could just capture the imagination with Ivy, I would see that you get two tickets to. Why are they fighting at. In, in Las Vegas?

[John Holmberg]

Vegas, I think, yes.

[Don King]

Is it at the mgm?

[John Holmberg]

I believe so. I will do anything for you from here on out.

[Don King]

Yeah, well, listen, ain't nothing but a stepper. I will secure that to be able to get you to do that because Kurt Kakoyan is my dear friend, okay? And Kirk Kakoyan owns all scripts. He, he doubled his fortune. What a guy in America is he had, he only had nine and a half billion and then he ended up with now 18 billion.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, he's doing all right.

[Don King]

He's a wonderful guy.

[John Holmberg]

Don, they're telling us we got to wrap up. I could talk to you all day.

[Don King]

Okay, man. Love you, man. But you get in touch with Ivy from Showtime and see if we can get you Two tickets to go in and see what's this guy's name and Mayweather.

[John Holmberg]

I will be watching Jamil and Samuel Peter this weekend. You're. You're my hero, Don King.

[Don King]

We'll talk to you later and say we got to go, we got to go. But don't forget, even though we got to go. October 6th on Saturday night at Madison Square Garden.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. We'll talk to you later. Thank you, sir. That's impossible. That. That's the hardest man in the world to chat with. How do you have dinner with him? I'm just taught of the bread rolls and I can't wait for them to arrive at dinner.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

He's completely, completely different.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my Lord.

[Brady Bogan]

Completely different. Yeah, he's a carney.

[John Holmberg]

Anytime he's one mission, he's a carnival.

[Brady Bogan]

Promote that. And.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know what's worse? Now I want to watch this fight between two guys I've never heard of. And the worst part is the whole time what you guys can't hear is the guy over there sitting with Don King barking in our ear. We really got to wrap this up, guys. Like I've said a word.

[Brady Bogan]

I've said.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing tells me your guy to wrap up.

[Brady Bogan]

He milked it another three minutes.

[John Holmberg]

I've got. I didn't do anything. Don't tell guys, really. Come on, wrap it up.

[Don King]

And then we had dinner over on a boat.

[John Holmberg]

And the boat was floating in the water and there's fish in the water. If I could learn to speak fish, I would speak it. Wrap it up, Homer.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, cuz.

[Brady Bogan]

Those fish are educated. They stay in schools.

[John Holmberg]

The man promoted ants.

[Brady Bogan]

That was great. That they work, they build. They do nothing but building.

[John Holmberg]

They are in school promoting and learning. And that they're all gonna watch the fish fight between Fishy Jamil McLean and Fishy Samuel Peter. He promoted ants.

[Don King]

If I was in the desert alone.

[John Holmberg]

I'd learn to speak ant.

[Brady Bogan]

As the American way, no less.

[John Holmberg]

And then he turned it around. Hard working American ants. He's flat insane. I got two tickets to Mayweather Hat and it's not even his.

[Brady Bogan]

We gotta get a hold of Ivy.

[John Holmberg]

Call Ivy Toledo. I'm worn out listening to him.

[Brady Bogan]

You got the inner sanctum, Ivy.

[John Holmberg]

He promoted ants. I've never seen a human being do that before. And made me believe he could. He could preach and I would. I would buy it. He could tell me. He could tell me Jesus was in the hallway. I'd go, look. Brady brings up the guy that pardoned him from his horrible crimes. Wild.

[Brady Bogan]

And he loved it.

[John Holmberg]

And he loved it. And there's Don King. For no apparent reason whatsoever other than to promote ants. Ladies and gentlemen, when you see ants Today, recognize it's 98 KUPD on the john Humberg and Brady Bulldog Bogan Show. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. The Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness. This is the Big Red Radio.

[Brady Bogan]

The Governator was back in. Had an interview with a German newspaper and did you see any of this? He wants Maria back.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Shut up.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. Said he hopes for a reconciliation.

[John Holmberg]

That's not happening. He wants his toes face back.

[Brady Bogan]

Another interview. He talked about being in a bathroom stall and hearing a guy in the next stall over saying, I'll be back. He says, I talking to his poop. He was. He knew Arnold was in there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I was gonna say, what are the odds?

[Brady Bogan]

Talk. He goes, I get somebody. I get quoted in the weirdest places.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be back. That does have to be strange. That would be awful. Trying to take a dump just around to go inside the entit. Well, Mike Ditka took a dump at the super bowl and Toledo started banging on his stall door. Shut up. I did not. Hey, come out of here. I'm gonna take care of you.

[Don King]

A few.

[John Holmberg]

A little more.

[Brady Bogan]

Why were you banging on his caliento?

[John Holmberg]

No, my aunt would have banged on that door and. No, it was. He wandered in there and well, hey, there's Mike Ditka taking a leak and dummies drunk as a skunk. And he wanders over there and starts literally both fists pounding. Toledo. I'm proud of you. That's something I would have done. That's good. But it was dumb blind. Because he stood there like, duh. Not a laugh. Nothing. No emotion on his face. And we all scrambled out there. What the hell's he doing that for? I'll kill somebody. It's gonna happen. Come out. I'll tell you what. Somebody's gonna die. Get pee on my Johnny Carson suit.

[Brady Bogan]

Jim Carrey was supposed to play Buddy and Elf. The role of John McClane and Die Hard was first offered. You ready for this? Frank Sinatra, then Schwarzenegger, then Stallone, then Burt Reynolds, Richard Gere, Harrison Ford, Mel.

[John Holmberg]

Gibson, then Bruce Willis.

[Brady Bogan]

Bruce Willis.

[John Holmberg]

I knew. I knew about Sinatra. Frank Sinatra. I knew about Sinatra and I knew about Stallone. I can't even picture Sinatra.

[Brady Bogan]

Wonder what the real order was. Does you know? If it went to Sinatra, then when it goes, would it go to Reynolds first, then Sinatra?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Yippee. IO Kaye. I'm John McLean, baby. You'd have been a singing number and all that. Yeah, that. That's not working for me. That would have been. What was that one that Burt Reynolds did? The Sharky's Machine. Sharky's Machine.

[Brady Bogan]

He would have been 70.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, when. When that came out. We would have been spared some of the like sequels, that's for sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

My wife's over there at Nami Jap. Jap building. I gotta get her out. He might have been able to do two. I don't know. We got loads of krauts causing all sorts of trouble.

[Brady Bogan]

Sammy Davis would have been the cop.

[John Holmberg]

Hey babe. I'm down here right now, babe. Looks like trouble. What's going on?

[Brady Bogan]

Twinkies?

[John Holmberg]

Don't you worry about it, Briquette. I got it under control.

[Brady Bogan]

You're not part of the solution.

[John Holmberg]

You got your eye on me.

[Brady Bogan]

Dean Martin's cutting deals.

[John Holmberg]

Booby. Shoot the glass. It's the rat packed Die Hard.

[Don King]

Oh, booby.

[John Holmberg]

Hans. Hey, shoot the glass. This guy I don't trust. You're the bad guy, Dean.

[Brady Bogan]

Carrie Fisher never wore a bra under her white Princess Leia costume. Over the Rainbow was nearly cut from the wizard of Oz because it was too sad.

[John Holmberg]

A little slow and sad. A lot of stuff with wizard of Oz. Maybe the most toyed with movie that ever was such a success. It's. It was a mess. An absolute mess.

[Brady Bogan]

Evidently Hulk Hogan was talking to somebody and telling him about one time wrestling Andre the Giant. I believe it was in Canada. Montreal. And Andre pulled out one of his favorite moves called checking the oil.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He threw his finger in a butt.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In pro wrestling.

[Brady Bogan]

In pro wrestling, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Real to that guy.

[Brady Bogan]

And evidently had quite the reputation. But I said it's just a little more. It's a little more deeper than the average checking of the oil. Cuz his digits are so large.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. That's like taking it from a teenager.

[Brady Bogan]

Two keys on the piano.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Maybe it was an accident. He didn't really have control over his. Sorry about that. His body. That I just accidentally fingered your platform. I know. Watch your finger, brother. What you could do now, brother, is remove it. It's pretty much lodged inside there like a Chinese mineral. Have whole conversations like that as they're rolling around. Well, he can't get his finger out. They're trapped together. They're stuck together like some sort of a puzzle piece that you can't unleash.

[Brady Bogan]

What do you want to do tomorrow, brother?

[John Holmberg]

Will you just pin me and get this over with. If I pin you, I have to stay up on top of you because my very large true piano key finger is lodged in your buttocks.

[Brady Bogan]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know. You didn't Andre the joke. Of course I do. Go. Come up over the mountain.

[Brady Bogan]

Brian Song Tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

The four horse going to come over the mountain. Try to analyze my finger from your b.

[Brady Bogan]

You mention it. But Barbara Wawa, she fell and hit her head.

[John Holmberg]

I fallen.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait.

[John Holmberg]

When I fell down, would you be fair to pick me up if you agree to it? Or for a million dollars, would you leave me in the bottom of the steam?

[Brady Bogan]

She fell on some stairs, hit her head pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Just like Gary Coleman. Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

She's alert, which is positive. But she's in the hospital.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think halfway down the stairs she thought this is how Coleman died? To get rolled through her head? Not white Gary. Don't make me die white Gary.

[Brady Bogan]

We had some legends pass away over the weekend. Stan the man.

[John Holmberg]

You think Barbara's gonna go Weaver? She's gonna be all. And Carlo Earl Weaver, too. Earl Weaver died, too. But if Barbara's got a head injury, she doesn't know it. She keeps going on the View and then like, has, like, four minutes where she can't function and we have nobody else knows.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We have to find out later. Would anybody be courageous enough to tell Baba Wawa that it's over?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Like, they had. They took a year for them to tell on Carlo to knock it off. And that was just local radio. So you want to watch the View now, is what you're saying? I'm gonna watch the View for heavy bertations. Start recording it every day. I don't know if it's still Barbara Walters or if she's having a stroke. She always sounded like that. Today we'll have a wonderful actor Denmo Day. It's awesome. I don't know if we should tell her or not. Let her die on tv. It's good for ratings.

[Brady Bogan]

But, baby, Robert F. Chu was another f ch.

[John Holmberg]

F F2. Who's Robert F2? F2.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Gazoon Height.

[Brady Bogan]

He played Proposition Joe on the HBO show the Wire.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like the way this story started, pal. Robert F2.

[Brady Bogan]

Bless you. The iron sheikh. The Iron Chic was tweeting yesterday about he was watching the football playoff games.

[John Holmberg]

The Iron Chic was.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

This is gonna be good. Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's a little sample. The Tom Brady wife. Call me me. She say, shiki, baby, I love your Camel.

[John Holmberg]

Did you say this was a tweet?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Tom.

[Brady Bogan]

Only half mouse. Please suplex me. Make me humble. This isn't the real legend.

[John Holmberg]

This is some guy playing. There's no way this is the real she. This is that. That Javier guy that does all the Brady things for us. He's an entertainer. Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

That's funny.

[John Holmberg]

He could say that. The Brady. And he's old.

[Brady Bogan]

Another chicy who win the football today. Tell me or go F yourself. Fq Worse than Jabroni. Tony Romo.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, maybe. Maybe it is the real. He's been here long enough, hasn't he's, like, kind of like Arnold's deal. What's going on there? You can at least write it by now. I understand it might be a thick accent when you say it, but the.

[Brady Bogan]

Ray Lewis going to play today like he killed Manti Tayo girlfriend. What happens, bubba?

[John Holmberg]

He tweets with an accent. He tweets with a thick accent. It's been 40 years he's been living here. And who picked up on this? Who's like, you know, I wonder what the sheik's up to. I'm gonna check Twitter. Who's following the Iron Chic? You'd be surprised. I would be shocked. I don't get the Twitter.

[Brady Bogan]

So I guess you're right. Chic versus the Tom Brady Wrestlemania New York. I beat the F out of him and steal his wife. Break her neck with my camel clutch.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I'm all for all that. That sounds great. He's got a huge beer belly now. I don't think he's beating. Anybody can beat up Tom Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Give the Ray Lewis the respect because he work hard, trained like Iron Chic. Make it to main event. Really to F. The San Francisco.

[John Holmberg]

I would love somebody in the media. We got a couple weeks here to ask Ray Lewis what. What he thinks about what Iron. What do you think? Yeah. Because it'll be media day. Do you ever respond to the Iron Sheik set tweets? The Lord gave us a weapon. Love the Lord. I love weapons. I'm good with weapons. All right, Ray's done talking. I just love weaponry. Two crazy people talking to each other. Weaponry and a lot. Oh, Lord, I cannot wait for bad lip reading to get a hold of that. Anyway, what are you gonna do? There you go. That's your entertainment drill. Congratulations, Freddie. Done it again. F2. I still don't know who Robert F. Chu is.

[Brady Bogan]

He's the giant black guy on the Wire, 52 years old.

[John Holmberg]

His name is F. Chew Is it F, Period? His middle name is black.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Not Asian. His last name is an F Chew.

[Brady Bogan]

He looked.

[John Holmberg]

That's an Asian name. Bob F. Chew. That guy's a waiter somewhere. Golden something. You have a black and white photo, Brady. So I don't know. Yeah, let me see that. I'll be the judge of what he is. Come on. Asian, black guy.

[Brady Bogan]

What is he?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Two Live Crew.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe both. He's like, yeah, maybe he had an Asian mom. He looks like the dude in PM Dawn. Happy MLK Jr day. Yeah, I don't know what he is. Boy. Yeah, that's a. He's a product of. Yeah, there's both in there. I don't know if he's Asian or if he's just so fat. His eyes are closed. That's a. Yeah, he kind of looks like it's Odd Job and hello. De Nada.

[Brady Bogan]

Samoan, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

And then there's a little bit of Flavor Flav with the hair. We need to be more respectful. He just passed away.

[Brady Bogan]

What do we.

[John Holmberg]

Flavor died? No. Oh, f Choose. Dead. I didn't know he died. I just. I couldn't get past the name. I didn't hear a word of that story. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, there's Fat Albert and hello. De Nada Had a kid. That's pretty good. We'll go with that. Have we painted the picture on the radio?

[Brady Bogan]

Well enough for.

[John Holmberg]

All right, there you go. That is your entertainment drill. It's not.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You gave me.

[Don King]

The little fat Samoans will bang little.

[John Holmberg]

Fat blacks and make little f chews heavy. Ever been taking a dump or, like, the bathroom and somebody, like, does an impression at you? Yeah, I have a few of those. Hey, Holmberg's in the stall next to us. One time when I was. It's your wife. Thanks, dude. I don't take dumps and stalls. First of all, the phrase dumps and stalls is beneath me. All right, Just.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

All right, Just.

[John Holmberg]

You do pee, right?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

In a.

[John Holmberg]

In a urinal? Yes. Yeah. Okay. If I. If there's a line. I don't. I won't go to the bathroom if there's a line. But, yeah, I will pee. And I've never been spoken to. I have peed. No, I don't think so. Somebody did recognize me in a restroom once at the Arizona Mill.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you quote Arnold next to him, if it bleeds, we can kill it.

[John Holmberg]

It was a long time ago, I think. I think. Honestly, I think that's the same dude that. Outside of the restroom not in it asked me to do Harry carry for him.

[Brady Bogan]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

So he waited at least until I had my wang in. Which most guys don't. You have to be weighing it. If somebody asks you like why you would you do the Harry Sure. You know what I'd say? What? Hey dude, I like your show. Will you do Harry Cary? Sure. Hey go yourself. Harry never talked but that Harry peeing.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, Harry probably said Harry would have.

[John Holmberg]

Said that a whole bunch. Quit staring at my dick. Not on TV yet. Why don't you go to a store and buy a dewalt drill and make a glory hole? Yeah, I don't think. I don't think that'll ever happen. Thank God he blasts Brady for pork in the stalls. Hey dude, how about sliding a plate of pork over into my side? You got it Reaching in my pocket here for some extra pork. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station.