Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 01-01-26 – FULL SHOW – THURSDAY
Date: January 1, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Special Guests: Donald Trump (Impersonator), Don King (Real)

Episode Overview

This episode blends sharp humor, parodies, topical absurdity, and local color, with an emphasis on lampooning political figures, dissecting everyday oddities, and celebrating Arizona’s wild social scene. With special appearances and a signature raucous energy, the crew mixes fake interviews, pop culture, and storytelling, creating a fast-paced, banter-heavy listening experience.

Key Segments and Discussion Highlights

1. [01:06] “Trump Vader” Takes Over – Donald Trump Impersonator Segment

• Entrance & Confidence:
  John introduces a Trump impersonator as the “next president.” The impersonator asserts, “Let’s just drop possibly right now and put me right in the White House.”
  [01:34]

• Boob Pictures as “Leverage”:
  Trump Impersonator boasts about using intimate pictures in divorce settlements and claims to have similar material on world leaders for “leverage.”

  “You can’t go through a divorce without a few nudie pictures to threaten your wife with... I have naked pictures of every leader.”
  – Donald Trump (Impersonator), [02:01]

• Star Wars Characters as Political Nicknames:

  • Compares himself to Darth Vader: “Everybody thinks I’m evil...and in the end, you find out, you know what? He’s a pretty nice guy. You take the mask off, you get behind the businessman…” [04:39 – 05:13]
  • Jeb Bush = Watto
  • Ben Carson = “the black Stormtrooper”/Tuskegee Airman
  • Ted Cruz = “Mynoc…sucking the life out of it.”

    “Ted Cruz is that neighbor you won’t let your kids talk to. Grandpa Munster. It’s young Grandpa Munster.”
    – Trump (Impersonator), [07:11]

• Immigration Riffs & “Planet Fence”:

  • Fantastical solution of building a fence around every “alien.”
  • Jokes about blasting 12 million people to “Trumptopia, a planet very few people know about. Where I come from, made of gold, almost done mined by albinos.”
    [09:03–09:57]

• Audience Call-ins:

  • Callers play games involving sound effects and Star Wars references. Banter about illegal immigration, polling numbers, and using “boot pics” in divorces.
  • Notable exchange:

    “Are they all here legally? Are they anchored in, so to speak?”
    – Trump (Impersonator), [12:57]*

• Sound Effect Game:

  • Surreal game where they guess Star Wars sound effects twisted into political or risqué punchlines.

2. [18:06] Customer Service: “The Customer Is Always Right…in Matters of Taste”

• Origin of the Phrase:
  John shares the history:

  "The original phrase was, 'The customer is always right in matters of taste.'” [18:53]

• Advises service industry workers to arm themselves with the correct version and push back against abusive customers.

• Tales from the Trenches:
  Hilarious/painful stories of restaurant customer entitlement, phony complaints, and how the “customer’s always right” leads to absurdities.

3. [26:09] Beer Goggles: The Science Behind Regrettable Hookups

• New Study Debunked:

  • Alcohol makes ugly people look better, but does not make attractive people look worse.

• Key Quote:

  “If that’s the case...then when you put them [beer goggles] on and look at somebody who’s attractive, it would change them too... it’s only for ugly people. Beer goggles are only for ugly people.”
  – John Holmberg, [29:10]

• Reflection on Judgment:
  Discusses alcohol's effect on standards, inhibitions, and personal responsibility – debunking the idea that "beer goggles" are to blame.

4. [35:06] Local Flavor: Park BBQs, Miracle Grills, and Demographic Observations

• Granada Park Softball Game:

  • Lighthearted celebration of ethnic community cookouts in public parks, marveling at the ability of Mexican families to feed hundreds using small grills (“Miracle Grills”).
  • Comparison with bland “white barbecue” traditions.

    “I want to go to Miracle Grill and find out [their secret]...there’s pigeons and ducks everywhere. You know they’re feeding off that at the end of the night.”
    – John Holmberg, [39:07]

• BBQ Debates:
  Fiery banter about aluminum foil, hot dogs rolling off grills, and cultural attitudes toward food safety.

5. [44:09] True Crime & Relationship Red Flags

• Obsessions with “bad boys” & “bad girls”:
  • Discussion of women dating convicted killers, referencing a Mexican police officer who murdered his wife and later his family during a prison visit.
  • Examines societal double standards and psychology behind women attracted to criminals (“sexy murderers”).

    “You never hear about guys getting murdered by a woman who’s murdered before. We don't date you anymore as a group.”
    – John Holmberg, [50:06]

6. [62:49] The Brady Report: News, Fun Facts, and Notable Oddities

• NFL “Scorigami” & Odd Stats:

  • e.g., Broncos beating Browns 29-12 was a score never before seen.
  • [63:09]

• Fun Facts:

  • Word origins, e.g., "vodka" from the Russian "vada" (water).
  • Re-gifting on the rise: 82% of people open to secondhand gifts.

    “I’m wrapping a lot of shifts this year.”
    – Brady Bogan, [65:51]

• Bizarre Goodwill Donations:
  Guillotine, glass jar labeled “Fart June 1975,” taxidermy kittens, coffin, and squirrel underwear.
  [66:26–67:40]

• Smugglers News:

  • Wild stories of drug and weapon smuggling involving inventive hiding places (e.g., a firearm hidden in someone’s body).

    “Let me tell you this. I think I am too, because at least I don’t want the—yeah. I don’t want to go barrel in.”
    – John Holmberg, [78:34]

• “Pee Pee Poo Poo News”:
  Mythbusting claim that farting burns calories.

  • “If it were 67 calories per fart, Toledo would be Karen Carpenter.”
    [83:21]

7. [87:35] “Rah Rah Room” Chronicles: An Elite Experience at Suns Arena

• John’s Exclusive Adventure:

  • Holmberg recounts attending a Phoenix Suns game, accessing the ultra-exclusive Rah Rah Room, mingling with celebrities (Steph Curry, Draymond Green, John Rahm), and marveling at the opulence (“It’s very Wonka. Oh, it’s beautiful.”).
  • Humorous anxiety about there being another local “John Holmberg” who may have gotten his perks.

    “Now I’ve got a goal in the Rah Rah Room. But it was pretty cool at the end of the game. And there’s Steph Curry and Draymond Green, and they’re all walking through the Rah Rah Room. Ishbi is hanging out. This is cool.”
    – John Holmberg, [93:17]

• The Dilemma of Plus-Ones:

  • Playfully refuses to bring co-hosts (“I can’t take you guys. I have to take people that look classy.”) and posits elaborate scenarios about meeting his “doppelgänger.”
  • Discussion of club etiquette, fashion, and exclusivity.

8. [124:41] PHONE INTERVIEW: Don King

• Don King’s Charisma:
  Don King delivers a rapid-fire monologue promoting an upcoming boxing match, saluting the troops, and riffing on everything from Arizona’s Native American tribes to the virtues of ants (“The ants are always building, building, building…”). Memorable for its nonstop energy and tangential inspiration.

  “From the ashes of the Phoenix, we shall rise yet again...support our troops and make America better.”
  – Don King, [124:41–126:35]

• Offers Boxing Tickets:
  Promises John tickets to Mayweather-Hatton, provided arrangements are made with his “beautiful lady, Ivy.”

  • Signature Don King “Only in America” messaging, blending salesmanship with pop philosophy.

9. [137:10] Entertainment Drill: Celebrity Trivia and Wrestling Antics

• Arnold Schwarzenegger News:
  Arnold wants Maria back, and has odd restroom stories about people quoting “I’ll be back” while he’s in a stall.

• Hollywood “Almosts”:

  • Sinatra and others were first choices for “Die Hard” before Bruce Willis.

    “My wife’s over there at Nami Jap Jap building. I gotta get her out.”
    – John Holmberg (imitating Sinatra as McClane), [139:33]

• Pro Wrestling “Oil Check” Quip:
  Andre “checks the oil” (inserts finger) on Hulk Hogan during a match, leading to an extended riff on the hazards of wrestling with giants.

• The Iron Sheik’s Unfiltered Tweets:

  • Hilarious, broken-English, and explicit posts about football and pop culture, with John and crew reading them aloud and marveling at the absurdity.

    “He tweets with an accent.”
    – John Holmberg, [145:37]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Donald Trump Impersonator, on Leadership:

  “Always get naked pictures and hold them over other people. It’s brilliant.”
  [03:00]

• John Holmberg, on Beer Goggles Reality:

  “You blame alcohol for you just being weak. Yeah, yeah. I have always been a strong drunk. Always.”
  [29:47]

• On Miracle Grills:

  “I want to go to Miracle Grill and find out. But they never clean it...There's pigeons and ducks everywhere. You know they're feeding off of that at the end of the night.”
  – John Holmberg, [39:07]

• Don King, on Ants:

  “The ants are always building, building, building, building. And they work dedicatedly and committedly. So we must persevere.”
  [129:43]

• On the Exclusive “Rah Rah Room”:

  “Now that I know there’s another John Holmberg, technically, I get 20 buddy passes now instead of the 10 because all I have to do is tell people to just come in and say, you’re on John Holmberg’s tab.”
  [98:26]

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Event | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 01:06 | Trump Impersonator segment begins | | 04:39 | Star Wars characters as 2016 GOP Candidates | | 18:06 | Customer Service Phrase Rant | | 26:09 | Beer Goggles: The Science & Satire | | 35:06 | Miracle Grill: Park BBQs & Observations | | 44:09 | Crime & the “Bad Boy”/“Bad Girl” Attraction | | 62:49 | The Brady Report - News and Oddities | | 87:35 | “Rah Rah Room” Adventure & Doppelgänger Discovery | | 124:41 | Don King phone interview & ant analogy | | 137:10 | Entertainment Drill: Arnold, Die Hard, Iron Sheik tweets |

Conclusion

This episode is a wild ride through parody politics, Arizona flavor, ridiculous news, and over-the-top storytelling. The crew’s quick wit, willingness to push boundaries, and love for the absurd ensure no subject is off-limits, making this a signature, unfiltered dose of “morning sickness.”