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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Byron
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John Holmberg
The best of homework's morning sickness. I'm Maddie Akupd. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report brought to you by allprochade.com if you want to get on over there, go to their showroom and be careful. Any loud sounds you hear in the background, ask no questions. But you can go through everything. Talk to Robert and the guys over there about putting some shades at your place if you email them and they'll come out to your house and they'll come up with a design that is going to make your house a knockout. Get that shade or a blind or that TV on the back patio that you can only watch at night because it's glare all day. They'll can they'll fix that with some sort of incredibly attractive screens on your windows.
Brady
I can do that.
John Holmberg
They got everything. They can do it all and maybe even kevlar screens on your window from what I'm hearing about them. They've got a whole back room they can do different things with. They're awesome people doing awesome stuff making your house better. They'll throw in a free heater if you get a motorized shade from them right about now. It's a little special around the holidays, so check it out. Allproched.com Brady report it good Friday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world. We've made it Also, Brady, before we get to the Brady Report, people want to know, and I am curious about this as well. You're judging that stupid pie and chili contest. Last night in the. Just the pies, you said you tasted all the chili.
Brady
I know. I. I tasted three or four. You said 10. No, 10 pies. You asked me how many pies there were. Probably 10.
John Holmberg
I want to backtrack on that. You're lying about the chili because then you told us how you made a bowl of chili out of each scoop.
Brady
Initially, I thought I was going there because I've done that in the past where they did chili and pie. That's.
John Holmberg
Well, when pressed earlier, you said you had quite a lot more chili than just two or three. Anyway. You're a pie judge. Yeah. Ten pies. Yeah.
Brady
First place was the banana cream Nutella pie.
John Holmberg
Who was it?
Brady
Lori Welch.
John Holmberg
Congratulations. Lori Welch. Last place, worst pie. Name them. I. Who was the worst pie?
Brady
We basically. If the pie wasn't that.
John Holmberg
Who's the worst?
Brady
Good.
John Holmberg
Who's the worst?
Brady
I don't know. The name didn't bother.
John Holmberg
What was the pie? It's like, what kind of pie was.
Brady
The worst pie There is One that.
John Holmberg
Could have spit it in their face. You would have.
Brady
One of the apple pies was an apple pie without sugar.
John Holmberg
Ugh. What's the point?
Brady
I think they. They. It just.
John Holmberg
And you don't.
Brady
I don't think that was a fair intention.
John Holmberg
You know, they forgot sugar.
Brady
Well, it just still entered land.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. Just a bad pie.
Brady
It was bad pie.
John Holmberg
Who. Who made it?
Brady
Steve Howard.
John Holmberg
You know who made that pie? You're making up a name there.
Brady
Who?
John Holmberg
Who made the pie?
Brady
I don't know.
Unidentified Guest
Brady.
John Holmberg
You looked her.
Brady
I really don't.
John Holmberg
I, of all people, would look at that lady's face and go, this is.
Unidentified Guest
Not an acceptable pie, ma'. Am.
Brady
If I didn't like the taste of a pie, I moved on. And. And I'm not gonna look at the name, because I'm not. I knew I'd get that question.
John Holmberg
You need if you're gonna judge. Last place is a thing, and somebody needs to know not to enter next year or to try harder. You're doing them a favor by telling them they were the worst.
Brady
You're right. But I. I honestly don't know the name there.
John Holmberg
You know the name.
Brady
I don't.
Byron
Finishing a judge is to be critical.
John Holmberg
That's right. You have to. Yeah. And you're not.
Brady
I only took the names of the contender.
John Holmberg
You just. Your favorite one was all that matter.
Brady
3. That's bias.
John Holmberg
If you ask, that is bias. Guess you need to rank them 1 through 10. Next year or next week, whenever you have your next pie eating contest.
Brady
No.
Byron
Let's give him a shame bell. Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
This one. Shame.
Unidentified Guest
This one right here.
John Holmberg
Shame.
Brady
Yes.
John Holmberg
Lady, that was horrible.
Byron
That way you won't have to shame.
Unidentified Guest
What'S in this diarrhea. I don't want any more of it.
Brady
Think you mixed up salt and sugar, toots.
John Holmberg
What is her name? A sinner comes before you.
Brady
That's right.
John Holmberg
And begs for forgiveness.
Brady
No forgiveness.
Unidentified Guest
No sugar in an apple pie.
John Holmberg
Whoever you are, lady, who made an apple pie? That Brady walked right past Worst place. Worst place.
Brady
You call that a pie?
John Holmberg
Gross. Worst place. I want you to know names next time.
Brady
How about this?
John Holmberg
What? You're gonna. You know it.
Brady
Next year I'll do an award for the worst pie.
John Holmberg
No. Cause you'll make it cute.
Brady
I can't do it.
John Holmberg
Tell you what.
Byron
I'll do that coming down the road.
John Holmberg
Then I'll go to your stupid thing. If you have shame pie, I'll go Shame. Because you'll have a real judge, not some mambi pamby.
Unidentified Guest
I only like good things and I don't talk about the bad ones.
John Holmberg
That's not a judge. A judge goes out and goes, this one sucks.
Brady
No, they don't.
Byron
Yes, they do.
Brady
You're asked to be critical every contest, barbecue, whatever. They don't go last place, they give you the prizes.
Byron
No, we did those wing contests.
John Holmberg
Last place is a thing and it needs to be.
Byron
And we said that this is not hitting it.
John Holmberg
3. And then you tell people.
Brady
Oh, yeah, you mean like live judging.
John Holmberg
When you're doing it last place. If you're going to judge, you have to be critical. You can't just go up there, go.
Unidentified Guest
I like that one and that one and that one. And that's. Oh, you are all great, right?
Byron
Cuz it's even more obvious when you don't pay attention.
John Holmberg
Three out of five.
Brady
I just don't want anyone to stop baking. You do want. You want them to.
John Holmberg
Sugar free apple pie. Lady needs to stop baking.
Brady
Maybe it was a sugar free apple pie and I just missed that. None of them were labeled, really.
John Holmberg
You just dive in.
Brady
You have to guess basically what's in it. Dutch apple.
John Holmberg
Oh, you're the only one that'll eat anything. Like you put a fish head in it. Yeah, then you would have to.
Brady
You know, maybe they'll prank me next year.
John Holmberg
That's what I would do. I want names I want shame pie name Shame.
Unidentified Guest
Apple pie with no sugar Shame.
John Holmberg
Wow.
Unidentified Guest
Okay. It's like a tranny pie. It's transitioning into my poop. Oh, why don't you just serve me up a plate of diarrhea and hair?
John Holmberg
Anyway, judges are critical. They're not just happy you go through. It's a pussies contest. If you've got 10 people entered and you only pick a couple of good ones and everybody else goes, well, how did I do it? Was I close last place? I want a top 10 ranking.
Brady
They would have come up to me and asked me on their pies, but.
John Holmberg
I didn't know you wouldn't have said a word. Sugar pie lady came up to you. She came up to you and said what? How close was I to the top? You wouldn't have gone last place.
Unidentified Guest
You stand out as the worst pie.
John Holmberg
You wouldn't have done it.
Unidentified Guest
It was really good. We actually considered putting you in the top three.
John Holmberg
You said it to everyone.
Brady
I'm sorry. Your chocolate pudding pie was not that good. Yeah.
John Holmberg
What a terrible event. Now I'll go next year to award worst pie here, all right? And I will. I'm not eating all of them. Homemade. Drag it through your cat hair Pie cats walk on counters in those houses. Old ladies that make pies for the community. Community pie. Cat lady is one in the same.
Byron
You're only okay with your own cat's cat hair.
John Holmberg
My cats don't walk around on the counters. They get knocked off the counters. You put them on the counter, they get knocked off, and the counter is scrubbed clean.
Byron
I mean, it's not flying through the air, huh?
John Holmberg
I know, but that's everything. You can't control that. I can control a cat standing where the food gets served. Some old lady with her five cats. God knows what she's doing with those fingers when she's alone. I guarantee you they're in a honey.
Brady
They don't have room for the cats over there. Sometimes five to ten kids running around.
John Holmberg
I guarantee you when that ding.
Brady
Regardless, she puts that.
John Holmberg
She puts that pie in the oven. She puts that pie in the oven. I've got 20 minutes and the kids aren't home. Fires those fingers down into the old dreamland, and then that's a fact. And then she goes back and handles the pie.
Brady
Bing, bing.
Unidentified Guest
Pie's done.
Brady
And so am I.
Unidentified Guest
It's everything Gerald can't give me. Oh, God. I remember when I tried hot pie in college.
John Holmberg
Anyway, you keep eating community cat hair pie in. I'm. I'd Go down and go. How many cats do you have at your house? 3. You're out.
Unidentified Guest
You're not even gonna try it?
John Holmberg
No. You have no food inspector at your place? Things covered in hair. That's not judging you, lady. You lose. Now get out. Shame. You get a real judge down there.
Unidentified Guest
I'm not entering next year. That was mean.
John Holmberg
Well, if you had a good pie.
Brady
You wouldn't have the competition.
John Holmberg
Yep. Only good pie enterers from here on out to the two worst words in the English language. Good job. It encourages you to do nothing more. Most dangerous phrase in the English language. Good job. Terrible. Anyway, Brady, it's time for you to do something better. Learn the name of that worst pie. Go door to door today in your neighborhood.
Unidentified Guest
Did you make that crappy apple pie last night? Worst place.
John Holmberg
And put it on your Instagram and finally make that interesting.
Brady
Here it is.
Unidentified Guest
This is a lady who made that terrible pie last night. What's your name? Meow.
John Holmberg
Wow.
Brady
Wow.
John Holmberg
That's all you'd hear.
Brady
One in four Americans still think blackface makeup is okay for Halloween? Sure.
John Holmberg
25%. 25% are still hanging on to the idea that that's not going to get them in trouble. Here's how I feel.
Brady
Here's the surprising thing about that, though. Older people are more likely to say, it's not okay.
John Holmberg
Right. Younger people, I say this. Everybody's too uptight about it. It is okay. Blackface has been confused with brown makeup, but if the confusion's there, you shouldn't do it. So I think both things can be true. Is it really detrimental to society? No. But will you get in trouble if you do it? Absolutely. So do I think it's a terrible thing like everyone else? Not really. Unless it's real blackface, which. Look it up. There's a difference. But I will say, if you do it, you're going to get in big trouble. So 0% should feel like it's okay. 25% can say, I think it's overblown.
Brady
27% of adults under 30 think it's fine, compared to 17% of seniors.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's wildly overblown. And it's stretched into all sorts of. Like when Frank Caliendo used to go on TV as Charles Barkley. Bronze Charles thought it was hilarious. Like, they. He approved it. And Frank always asked, do you care if I do the impression you in the makeup? And like, absolutely not. That's how it works. It's a. It's almost a tribute. But then it started to drift into that area that Anytime you put dark makeup on at all, you were making fun of somebody or you were damaging a culture. So so long as that kind of permeates through and confusion lives, it's not worth it. But do I think it's a big deal, as big as it's being made? Not really.
Brady
The different apron colors at Starbucks mean different things. The standard one is the green apron. That's the only one.
John Holmberg
I don't remember. Yeah, they have. They have a black apron. That's right.
Brady
Is given to long time team members who have earned the coveted Coffee Master designation, Coffee Commander. There's also red and orange aprons have been worn for various holidays. The rarest apron is purple. These are for the barista champions. And only 26 employees are granted that honor each year.
John Holmberg
What do you have to do to.
Brady
Become one of those?
John Holmberg
Just stick around. Probably just longevity, turnout.
Brady
Some serious foam artists.
John Holmberg
Yeah, everybody can do that. Have you ever tried that? It's not hard. I thought it was hard until I did it once and I'm like, oh, here's the leaf. Yeah. No wonder anybody can do this. So it's like karate. You get a different belt. Yeah. Okay. It's like a bad dojo.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You put 110 in every two weeks. The eagle fang shows up, goes here you can. You can be a brown and now you're fuchsia. Every week is a new belt. You haven't really done much new. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns.
Byron
Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting.
John Holmberg
To sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Brady
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
John Holmberg
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Brady
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.
John Holmberg
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. It's the holidays and Hooters is serving up the cheer. Grab a friend and dive into the pick three. Just $10.99 per person, minimum. Two people. You get one appetizer, two entrees, and two drinks, all for just one festive price. And while you're there, snag the perfect stocking stuffer. The 2026 Hooters calendar packed with over $150 in coupons. Plus, when you buy $25 in Hooters gift cards, you'll get five do bonus bucks this season. Give the gift of wings. Give the gift of Hooters. Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brady
Candystore.com released their annual list of the worst Halloween candies. And last year's number one. Circus peanuts is number two this year.
John Holmberg
Oh, no kidding.
Brady
Candy corn was number one last year. It's number two this year. Still number one in my heart. Number one. Toledo, you nailed it. Circus penis peanuts.
John Holmberg
It's a back and forth. Yeah, those are pretty bad candy corns. I don't think I ever got circus peanuts on Halloween.
Brady
Me neither.
John Holmberg
Yeah, everybody handles that. You have to hand them out in those big bags. Yeah.
Brady
Peanut butter kisses. Number three. They're not the Reese's peanut butter cups. They're the twisty in the orange wrapper.
John Holmberg
The Hershey's kiss.
Brady
They're just a peanut butter candy.
John Holmberg
Oh, there's a lot of peanut butter. Oh, I see. Old lady candy.
Brady
They usually come in black or orange wrapping.
John Holmberg
Oh, that. Oh, that waxy stuff. Oh, yeah, those are terrible.
Brady
Necco wafers. Number four. Wax Coke bottles. Number five smarties. Six Smarties. Yeah, those are great. Dropped two spots from last year's Four.
John Holmberg
Smarties are basically sweet Pez without expensive. Tootsie rolls are good. You don't want a lot of them.
Brady
Good and plenty.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Nothing. Black licorice.
Brady
Yeah, they. They were tied with black licorice.
John Holmberg
That stuff should be higher on the list.
Brady
A mom in Australia ordered a cheap Halloween decoration from Amazon. A fake dead body you cover in black plastic and you hang it from a tree upside down.
John Holmberg
Right.
Brady
But when it came in the mail, her 10 year old son opened it up and it was a sex doll.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brady
She posted about it on Facebook.
Byron
She got a better deal than what.
Brady
I asked for versus what I got. The company says they'll give her a 40 return because basically they're sending out.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's just dead.
Brady
The sex dolls. If you cover it in black plastic, no one will know it's a sex doll.
Byron
And you get the bonus of still.
John Holmberg
Having a sex doll and you don't have to use it.
Brady
Here's the finished product. So there it is. Before with the sun. Open it up.
John Holmberg
A cruddy blow up doll. It's not even like.
Brady
Because he goes, the reason why we don't do that is these are there's a ton of these and it's cheaper to send that out and cover it.
John Holmberg
Up than it is to make an inflatable of inflatables.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
And they're like, you know what we could do? Make these Halloween dead bodies. And actually when it's wrapped up in the tree, it looks pretty good.
Brady
Is that the trash bag that they sent with it?
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. And the tape. That's a great. That's a great costume.
Brady
Yeah. Because you wrap it around the trash bag.
Byron
This sets a dark neighbor though, by the way.
Brady
I'm so upset about this. But that's my effect neighbor.
John Holmberg
That's the. That's crazy.
Brady
He's worried about her 10 year old son seeing the inflatable.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I was going to say she's really worried about the sex aspect, but she's willing to hang a dead body in a garbage bag of her tree and her kid can see that all day.
Byron
Priorities are off.
John Holmberg
Nudity and sex. That's gross.
Brady
I don't know if you've seen this story of the. The coal miner that showed up at the University of Kentucky basketball game last weekend. He came straight from work to be there with his son was covered in coal dust.
John Holmberg
Blackface trouble?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
Okay, good.
Brady
But the. Some people that had some money saw it and thought it was just amazing. Awesome. So then the University of Kentucky has offered him season tickets for being dirty people.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. Yeah, he came straight out. I mean, he's like top to bottom coal covered and people gave him things.
Brady
A bunch of businesses in Lexington also offered him the family free meals and hotel room when they're in town for Kentucky games.
Byron
Hold on.
Brady
This is, this is a brilliant move. Does this kid play for Kentucky? No, it's a little.
John Holmberg
No, it's just some guy.
Unidentified Guest
And by the way, he's in the front row.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he had good seats. Okay. I was gonna say these guys. So just having a job that makes you dirty, you can get season tickets.
Brady
Out of that and more.
John Holmberg
I'm just gonna pour 30 weight on myself next time I go to a son's game. What's the matter? Little inbred kid? Is that what you're seeing?
Brady
You're thinking they're seeing some branches missing. He hit every branch on the way down.
John Holmberg
Oh, you think he's there? You think he's. He's got the thing. He's got Kentucky. He's got a big case in Kentucky. Oh, no, there's a whole load of aunt and uncles.
Brady
They're a tight family.
Byron
That's how you're judgmental.
John Holmberg
That's right. I see what you're seeing, especially with that daughter and those giant teeth. She's got some aunt and uncle blood in her.
Brady
The whole crew might be related, by the way.
John Holmberg
It is, actually. I think about it. That's nice. And it's not really that big an investment by the University of Kentucky because that guy's gonna die a black lung in the next year or two.
Brady
It's a big reason.
John Holmberg
It's the debacle. We'll give you a lifetime pass. They know what they're doing. This guy's not. He's way overweight. He works in a coal mine. This is.
Brady
What's this gonna cost?
John Holmberg
Maybe he gets through one season. John Calipari comes and introduces himself and then he drops dead.
Brady
Chick Fil A's introducing a three day work week.
John Holmberg
For you?
Brady
No, for employees. They're rolling it out. They did it in Miami. And it's basically three 13 to 14 hour shifts. And then you have four days off.
Byron
So you thought Brady goes to Chick Fil a enough that they would grant.
Brady
Him a three day work week.
John Holmberg
We're gonna start paying you whatever you get paid four days a week because you are. You are our bottom line, sir.
Unidentified Guest
All right, Chicken. I don't care about money. Sorry, Home bird can't make it for two of the five work days. I've got four days off a week now.
Byron
What do you mean, Brady? What?
Unidentified Guest
Well, I went to Chick Fil a and they made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Four free days of chicken in lieu of pay. I mean, what else do you need money for but delicious chicken?
Byron
Speaking of, I ran the numbers. On the 10th of November will be roughly your 5,000th show.
John Holmberg
No, that's fair.
Byron
So I was off 5,000.
John Holmberg
Still a lot. But when you said six, that felt long.
Byron
And I did the numbers again. February 10th of 2027. If you're still here, that'll be your 6,000.
John Holmberg
All right. Well, Brady too. He was here the whole time with me.
Byron
That was your 6,000.
John Holmberg
Oh, going back to the Zone?
Byron
No, no, no, Yours.
Brady
He won't be here.
John Holmberg
Oh, I see what you're saying. What was he, 2027? He's right.
Brady
You're right.
John Holmberg
What were we thinking? That' off of Brady. He killed you.
Brady
He did.
John Holmberg
Somewhere between here and then. When is it seven? February 10th.
Byron
2027 will be.
John Holmberg
How many shows?
Brady
6,000.
John Holmberg
Oh, it takes that long to do? I guess it does.
Byron
About four years.
Brady
Yeah.
Byron
Little more than four years.
John Holmberg
Okay, that's A lot that seems excessive.
Brady
The three day work week is working out pretty good. Productivity is up, and so they're trying to roll it out in more locations. And some other businesses might be looking at that similar model.
John Holmberg
I think I'd rather work four days a week at 10 hours than 13 and 14 in a day, because in that first day office, just you're doing nothing.
Byron
You're catching up on.
John Holmberg
You're dead.
Brady
I showed you this one yesterday, but it came out just after the show. The world's dirtiest man passed away in Iran on Sunday at the age of 94. He was referred to as Amu Haji or Uncle Haji. And there are several profiles on his bizarre lifestyle. He had not bathed in more than 60 years. Sounds like a problem, because he believed.
John Holmberg
That works for KPD's promo squad.
Brady
He believed that soap and water would make him sick. But a few months ago, villagers persuaded him to wash himself for the first time. And shortly afterwards, he got ill. Yeah.
John Holmberg
He washed off all the protection before, though. I mean, they think he was 94. Look, the man made it. Look at him. Look at that dirt ball of a human being. That was probably after the landfill.
Brady
He. He avoided fresh food, opting instead for rotted porcupine. Smoked a pipe of animal excrement.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Byron
Rotted porcupine. Is that a delicacy? What?
John Holmberg
Well, for him it was. Yeah, he smoked a pipe, loved cigarettes. Look at his teeth, though. They look great. Because he's so dirty, his teeth really pop white. Unless that's like an infection on his gums.
Brady
Drank up to 5 liters of water a day. It was out of a large rusty can.
John Holmberg
That's the same.
Byron
He's got his iron.
John Holmberg
Yep. There's one of them porcupines on a spit, and he's five, six cigarettes at a time. Oh, yeah, look at that. Look at those hands. Live to be 94 looking. Gigantic hands, though.
Brady
That's it, Uncle Haji, we're giving you a bath.
John Holmberg
Why not try it out, Haji? And he's dead. Soon after they washed off all of his life.
Brady
Hey, you wanted the black?
Byron
Guinness Book of World Records.
John Holmberg
There it is. That's the Darkness one.
Byron
Somebody's gonna have to get real dirty to break that record.
John Holmberg
That's still too cute for my dark macabre Guinness Book of World Records. Mine's mainly just parents taking their kids out to try to break records and things go wrong. That's pretty impressive. Oh, his beard is just.
Brady
That's not him, is it? That's him clean.
John Holmberg
That's him clean. Yeah. Oh, he looks great. He looks really nice. Handsome man. Got a nice sweater on.
Brady
See him in the Jimmy Buffett concert, Burning Man.
John Holmberg
He's dressed exactly the same. This is a big pull here. But dressed exactly the same in that picture as Jason Voorhees.
Brady
Mom.
John Holmberg
At the end of the day, Friday the 13th, she had that same sweater on. She scared me more than Jason. Interesting. Well, the world's dirtiest man is dead. That means there's a new dirtiest man out there somewhere. And his name is Charlie Creedle.
Unidentified Guest
I guess I understand. I just got my new position. The dirtiest man in the world. Come on, come on.
John Holmberg
Have an open mind.
Unidentified Guest
I haven't watched since April.
Brady
This 65 year old woman in Japan thought she was in a long distance relationship with a guy from Russia. He was pulling a very common scam. He said he wanted to marry her and start a long life together, but needed money to move there.
John Holmberg
Right.
Brady
The twist was claimed. He was a Russian cosmonaut living on the space station. He needed money to get back to earth.
John Holmberg
She deserves every ounce of what she lost. That is a great. And it's almost trying to get caught like lady, I'm lying to you. You know that, right?
Brady
Sent him 30 grand to space. Just wired it into his account.
John Holmberg
Which ironically was in Jersey. I keep. I keep accounting. Jersey. I can't. That's a great one though. I cannot FaceTime from Space Station. Don't have connection.
Unidentified Guest
You just have email.
John Holmberg
Yeah, send text, but no FaceTime.
Brady
He said most of it was to cover rocket costs.
John Holmberg
Sure. He's going back and forth. It's a big commute. You would be blown away. Lady, about rocket fuel has gone through moons since Ukraine war. Anyway, I need a couple bucks if you don't mind following it over to account in the. It's in orange Jersey. I keep a bank there. You see that is a guy who's trying to see how far he can go before the lady goes.
Unidentified Guest
I don't know about this.
John Holmberg
Did I tell you what I do for a living?
Unidentified Guest
No. I bet it's big.
John Holmberg
Yes. A cosmonaut. It's the same as what you have in the miracle astronaut. Wow. I'm on the space station. You heard of this?
Unidentified Guest
You are?
Brady
Oh my God.
John Holmberg
I can tell her anything. I'm also a direct descendant of Jesus. My bad.
Unidentified Guest
How big's your d?
John Holmberg
Very.
Brady
In space.
John Holmberg
In space. In space. It's twice the size. I have the nuts of Lemuria. Look it up. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangealone.com having good credit is a sign you're probably good with your finances. What if I told you you can control your home equity and do your banking inside of that? That sounds confusing, but your equity is your savings. You have earned that. If I want to completely remodel my house, I don't need a new loan. I have access to my money. The word you're looking for is life. Change alone is the way the system should be. Go to the website and check the numbers for yourself. Then you'll realize it's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com have you ever thought to yourself, I'm going to sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything, won't move the price or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.
Theme:
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness features the show’s signature blend of irreverent, quick-witted banter, tackling odd news, pop culture tidbits, and a healthy dose of mockery. Regular hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo riff on everything from community baking contests and Starbucks lore to scam stories and bizarre world records, all delivered in their offbeat, teasing style.
Amazon Halloween Fail:
Dirtiest Man in the World:
Judging Pies:
“You call that a pie?” (Brady, 05:16)
"Community pie. Cat lady is one and the same." (John Holmberg, 08:01)
"If you had a good pie, you wouldn’t have the competition.” (Brady, 09:54)
On Blackface:
“Is it really detrimental to society? No. But will you get in trouble if you do it? Absolutely.” (John Holmberg, 10:55)
Starbucks Aprons:
“Every week is a new belt. You haven’t really done much new.” (John Holmberg, 13:15)
Amazon Sex Doll Gaffe:
“She’s really worried about the sex aspect, but she’s willing to hang a dead body in a garbage bag of her tree...” (John Holmberg, 17:31)
On the World’s Dirtiest Man:
“He washed off all the protection before, though. ...He made it. Look at him. Look at that dirt ball.” (John Holmberg, 22:47)
On Fast Food Work Schedules:
“I think I’d rather work four days a week at ten hours than 13 or 14 in a day.” (John Holmberg, 21:54)
The episode blends energetic, sarcastic, and often crude banter with local flavor and in-jokes. Snarky put-downs, skepticism, and a “call it as we see it” approach drive most of the discussions, staying true to the show’s cheeky, boundary-pushing morning-radio personality.
Whether it’s making merciless fun of a tasteless apple pie, dissecting generational attitudes toward blackface, decoding the secret meanings of Starbucks aprons, or laughing at the world’s dirtiest man and space scam victims, Holmberg and crew keep the commentary fast, loose, and barbed. Listeners get a full load of pop-culture oddities, workplace trends, and Halloween nastiness—plus a lesson in not sending $30,000 to someone claiming to be in space.