Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Title: Emailer Says He's Breaking Up w/His Mean Pregnant GF Today And We Wonder How We'd Do It
Airdate: January 2, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and guests
Focus: A listener email sparks a wild, candid debate about breaking up with a pregnant partner, navigating relationship craziness, and notorious fugitives.

Episode Overview

This episode pivots around a provocative email from a listener seeking advice: he's planning to break up with his pregnant girlfriend, who he claims has become "mean" and "violent" since becoming pregnant. Holmberg and the crew dig into whether, when, and how you can ethically exit such a relationship, weaving in dark humor, personal anecdotes, and even detours into infamous criminal absconders. The conversation is raw and irreverent, as the team weighs practical (if hilarious) options for coping with tough situations.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Email: Breaking Up with a Pregnant Partner ([01:06])

• Listener "GH" writes in:

  • He's four months into his girlfriend's pregnancy and claims she has turned volatile.
  • He intends to end the relationship but vows to care for the child.
  • He's oddly fearful for his safety, joking that any "mysterious death" should be noted.

• Panel Reaction:

  • General consensus: breaking up with a pregnant woman is incredibly risky, both emotionally and logistically.
  • Holmberg wonders if the situation could get more dangerous after the breakup.

Quote:

"Breaking up with a pregnant lady at four months isn't exactly going to make her more stable, though. If she's nuts and you're still there, I think this weekend might be a bad plan." — John Holmberg [02:12]

2. How to (Not) Break Up with a Pregnant Woman ([02:12–04:22])

• Hormones and Behavior:

  • Brett acknowledges that pregnancy hormones can cause volatility.
  • Wedge shares his own war stories:

    "My ex wife was mean as a snake when she was pregnant... Now take that and amplify it with pregnancy hormones." — Wedge [02:47]

• Leaving vs. Sticking It Out:

  • Strong advice to tolerate the situation rather than leave—at least while she's pregnant.
  • Humorous alternative strategies are offered:
    • Disappear temporarily
    • Avoid triggering further instability
    • Just "tolerate it" for now

• Documenting the Crazy:

  • Holmberg suggests keeping detailed records of erratic behavior for future use in custody battles or court.

Quote:

"That's what I would say. Start documenting here at month four. Start documenting all the things that she's done. Crazy." — John Holmberg [05:26]

3. Absurd Escape Fantasies ([04:55; 05:43; 07:02])

• Robert Fisher Reference:

  • Multiple jokes about "Robert Fisher-ing" the situation, referencing the infamous Arizona fugitive who vanished after a family tragedy.
  • Clearly, no one condones the behavior, but it serves as dark comedic relief.

• How to Get Her to Break Up First:

  • Suggest "low-key sabotage":
    • Feign losing your job
    • Behave just poorly enough to inspire her to end it

Quote:

"Get her to break up with you. Do something. Don't go crazy like start hosing hookers. Just start—"
"Tell her you lost your job."
— John Holmberg & Wedge [07:04–07:15]

4. The Ethics and Practicalities ([09:04; 09:17; 09:40])

• Moral Responsibility:

  • Holmberg compares leaving a pregnant woman to leaving someone right after a serious medical diagnosis:

  "That's like breaking up with somebody who, like, gets a disease because pregnancy is an illness. ... You got at least stick out a year after the diagnosis." — John Holmberg [09:40]

  • The risk of becoming the villain in the long term is discussed:
    • The ex could weaponize the breakup in custody or parental alienation.
    • The legacy of the split lingers far beyond the moment.

• It Might Get Worse:

  • What if things don't level out?
  • Awareness of postpartum issues is raised ("what if she gets the postpartum and starts trying to murder everybody?").

5. Infamous Criminals as Metaphor ([10:18–13:38])

• Robert Fisher & John List:
  • Tangential but fitting, the hosts riff on infamous men who vanished after killing their families, tying the escape fantasy back to how bad situations can spiral.
  • The conversation highlights the sometimes-comic, sometimes-dark temptation to "just disappear" when life gets tough.

Quote:

"We've all thought about blowing the house up... but then I'd think, well, I don't have the skills after that. I'm gonna end up in jail. I don't wanna." — John Holmberg [12:10]

• Forensic Science Sidebar:
  • Fascination with how John List was caught using a forensic artist's paper mache model sparks a fun aside on guilt and aging in fugitives.

6. Listener Feedback & Self-Awareness ([13:40–16:31])

• Critical Listener Email:
  • A listener complains about Holmberg's "worrying about other people's lives."
  • Holmberg fires back, embracing the premise of the show as "social commentary" and defending their approach.

Quote:

"The whole point of this show is that I gotta worry about other people's lives. ... It's social commentary. You gotta care about other people's lives. God, I hate that guy. I don't even know who that is. I hope you die in the canyon. I hope you get Robert. I hope that guy gets Robert Fishered today." — John Holmberg [14:13]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If you think she's gone nuts now, this is with you still there... Don't break up with her. Just don't show up anymore. Or sit there and tolerate it." — John Holmberg [02:30]
• "Did you think you were going to leave? Like, did it run through? Oh, God no. She'd hunt me down.” — Wedge [03:50–03:54]
• "You have to have his training. There are two people that are Robert Fisher and D.B. Cooper. The only ones that were... I don't have those skills." — John Holmberg [06:03]
• “Babies don’t make women crazy. It just awakens the beast that was always living in them. Good point.” — John Holmberg, reading email [13:40]
• "That's like breaking up with somebody who, like, gets a disease because pregnancy is an illness. ... It’s curable, but it lingers for at least 18, 20 years." — John Holmberg [09:40]

Segment Timestamps

• [01:06] – Reading of GH's email and panel's first reactions
• [02:12–04:22] – Brainstorming "the right move," hormones, and horror stories
• [05:26] – Advice: start documenting the craziness
• [05:43–07:32] – The “Robert Fisher” escape plan banter and how to get dumped instead
• [09:04–10:18] – Ethical metaphors and seriousness for GH's dilemma
• [10:18–13:38] – Infamous criminals, escape fantasies, and forensic science stories
• [13:40–16:31] – Listener feedback and John’s rant about the purpose of the show

Tone

The conversation is irreverent, unfiltered, and laced with the group’s signature mix of deadpan sarcasm and gallows humor. While they address real anxieties and terrible relationship scenarios, the hosts keep things light by leaning on outrageous hypotheticals and callbacks to infamous cases.

Takeaway Summary

The crew’s ultimate (though semi-serious) advice:
Don’t break up with your pregnant partner at four months, no matter how “crazy” things have gotten. Hang in there, document behavior, and—if things truly go south—try to maneuver events so she breaks up with you first. All the while, maintain a sense of humor... and maybe avoid taking relationship tips from fugitives.