Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Episode Summary

Date: January 2, 2026
Episode Title: Entertainment Drill – MIX – Brady’s Never Had Monkey Sex – Brady Can’t Hear – Bubbles Chimp Wrote MJ’s Music

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness brings the regular crew—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo—together for a meandering, irreverent romp through stories of college trips, wild (or not-so-wild) sex lives, and a bizarre deep dive into rumors about Michael Jackson’s chimp, Bubbles. The tone is playful, sarcastic, and occasionally outrageous, staying true to HMS’s blend of locker-room humor and pop culture riffing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. College Trips and Missed Opportunities (01:19–04:05)

• College Language Trips: The crew discusses the subject of language classes and the typically unfulfilled opportunity to travel abroad.

  • John laments missed opportunities (“We were in Mesa. We could have found Mexico real fast.”)
  • A co-host (likely Brady) recounts a trip for interpersonal communications credits, visiting England, Ireland, Scotland, Italy, and Greece.
  • The group laughs over the affordable nature (“that whole trip was 1500 bucks”—03:17).

• Funny Field Trip Memories: John shares how his only “field trip” involved his friend Steve lying about class being canceled so they could smoke weed instead (02:26–02:46).

2. The College Sex “Berlin Wall” - Brady’s Tame Stories (04:05–06:44)

• Chasing the ‘Wild College Sex’ Narrative:
  • John and co-hosts question Brady about wild sex in college, probing for stories of wild hookups.
  • Brady appears cagey or simply unimpressed: “There wasn't enough” (04:03).
  • John, riffing: "You're the Adam Sandler of sex. You don't even try." (04:15)
  • The group likens Brady's unwillingness/inability to recall wild times to the Berlin Wall, with John joking, “We’re chipping… No one on the other side. There’s a bunch of people who have never seen the world.” (06:11–06:12)
  • Ultimately, Brady concedes: “I didn’t have wild monkey sex.” (06:44)

Memorable Quotes

• John: “Make me respect you. You’re the Adam Sandler of sex. You don’t even try.” (04:15)
• John: "You are the Berlin Wall… we're trying to bust through.” (06:09)
• Brady: “I didn’t have wild monkey sex.” (06:44)

3. Monkey Business: Celebrity Pets and Michael Jackson’s Bubbles (07:05–11:53)

• Monkey Ownership Gone Wrong: The hosting crew riffs on Justin Bieber's pet monkey and the alleged seizure of it by customs.

  • A pronunciation debate erupts over “capuchin” (pronounced “kah-POO-chin” or “kuh-POO-shin”). (07:14–07:24)

• Michael Jackson & Bubbles Legend:

  • The real highlight is a deep, satirical dive into the tabloid rumor that Michael Jackson tried to perform surgery on Bubbles the chimp so he could talk:
    • "He actually considered having throat surgery performed [on Bubbles]." (08:25)
    • John speculates on Bubbles’s first words: “So Bubbles could say, 'Call the lawyers. I want you to stop touching me.'” (08:37)
    • They riff on the absurdity, joking Bubbles was responsible for writing 'Thriller' and other MJ hits, adopting “highfalutin” chimp personas.

Memorable Quotes

• John (satirical): “You have so much money… you can actually consider marring a monkey to talk to you because you’ve raped everyone in your life so they… nobody wants anything to do with you except for the monkey you trained to speak.” (09:01)
• Co-host (as Bubbles): “I am a highfalutin monkey. I wrote all the good stuff.” (11:17)

4. If Animals Could Talk (11:55–13:31)

• Speculating about Vocal Animals:
  • The crew asks which animal they’d add a human voice box to—John picks “Gorilla.” (12:24)
  • They imagine gorillas, birds, and other animals complaining about or mocking the hosts.
  • “Put your finger in your butt.”—A recurring bit referencing animal zoo antics (13:18–13:25).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | 04:15 | “Make me respect you. You’re the Adam Sandler of sex..." | John Holmberg | | 06:09 | "You are… the Berlin Wall… we're trying to bust through.” | John Holmberg | | 06:44 | “I didn’t have wild monkey sex.” | Brady Bogen | | 09:01 | “You have so much money… you can actually consider marring a monkey to talk to you…” | John Holmberg | | 11:17 | “I am a highfalutin monkey. I wrote all the good stuff.” | Co-host (Bubbles voice) |

Key Segments & Timestamps

• [01:19–04:05] – College trips, language classes, and field trip mishaps.
• [04:05–06:44] – Probing Brady’s college sex life (“monkey sex” gags).
• [07:05–08:24] – Celebrity monkeys, Bieber’s capuchin, and wordplay.
• [08:25–11:53] – Michael Jackson & Bubbles: surgery rumors, satirical claims of “Bubbles wrote Thriller.”
• [11:55–13:31] – If animals could talk, gorilla hypotheticals, and animal humor.

Tone & Style

• Language: Direct, bawdy, improvisational banter.
• Humor: Sarcastic, edgy, playful.
• Dynamic: John acts as the ringleader, prodding the others for stories and riffing on their reluctance.

For New Listeners

This episode typifies the unpredictable, joke-heavy style of HMS. The conversation spins from real-life reminiscence to full-on surreal mockery—a crowd-pleasing blend for fans of edgy, spontaneous morning radio. Expect no topic to stay serious for long, and lots of wild speculation, banter, and left turns.