Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Jan 5, 2026

Episode: "It's The Year Of The Horse And Other Astrological Nonsense"

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

The first 2026 episode kicks off with Holmberg and crew recovering from the holiday break and diving headfirst into a blend of post-holiday observations, astrophysics rabbit holes, conspiracy musings, and mock-serious social proposals. Holmberg humorously explores his evolving skepticism towards the moon landing, warns listeners about a supposed upcoming “no gravity” day, and campaigns (tongue-in-cheek) to ban loud Tejano music from cars. The tone is irreverent and fast-paced, with thoughtful banter, outlandish hypotheses, and a healthy amount of self-deprecation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The End of the Holiday Season & Decorative Slutty Houses

• John laments the disappearance of Christmas decorations as the new year rolls in, joking that houses look less like "whores" now (06:22). He expresses disdain for people who overdecorate for Valentine's or Halloween, calling it “dumb” and “lonely” (06:44).

2. Astrology & The Year of the Horse

• The crew riffs on the "Year of the Horse" and astrology in general, deriding both as vague and unhelpful:

  "Everything's going to be careful. Don't cross the street, whatever you do. Every one of the Aries is going to get hit today." – John (07:59)

3. Break-Time Deep Dives & Instagram Purchases

• John confesses to spending his break falling into social media wormholes and buying odd products, including a $29 psychic “soulmate drawing.” The result? An underwhelming frontier woman whom he jokes about dodging in bookstores (11:03).
• The drawing is described dismissively:

  "She looks like she's pretty enough if it were 1850. Like, she's gonna die during childbirth. You know that stench? Oh, God. The bush on this soulmate." – John (11:04)

4. Economic Books & Wealth Separation

• A brief tangent discusses the book “Have and Have Yachts,” critiquing rich people who lament the rich (13:29):

  "You can't have rich people telling you there's too many rich people." – John (13:48)

5. Astrophysics Rabbit Holes: No Gravity Apocalypse?

• Spurred by talk of Neil deGrasse Tyson, John describes a theory that two black holes will approach each other around August, possibly eliminating earth’s gravity for 6-7 seconds (16:13–19:44).
• They joke about the carnage this would cause—raining cars, floating people, dead wildlife:

  “If in fact that happens, there’s a… probability that we will lose gravity for six seconds… most people will go up 30 or 40 meters in six seconds... then gravity comes back and you don't float down, especially cars. It starts raining cars and stuff.” – John (17:27)

• The crew riffs darkly:

  "60 million people are like that. And they're saying it with, you know, 40 to 60 million people because it's going to rain cars, planes." – John (36:14) "If fat America starts floating around...the splatter factor is going to kill other states." – John (37:02)

6. Light Speed, the Size of the Galaxy, and Molecules in Water

• John shares mind-bending facts:

  “If we travel at light speed, we could get to the sun in eight minutes… at light speed, to go from one end of our galaxy to the other, 200,000 years." – John (20:22, 20:32) “There are more molecules in a glass of water than there are glasses of water in the ocean." – John (29:00)

7. Moon Landing Conspiracies

• John confesses his skepticism has grown, citing:
  • NASA’s talk of “finally putting men on the moon” during new Artemis missions
  • Van Allen radiation belt dangers
  • Oddities with moon landing footage, lost technology, and staged recreations

  "I now no longer believe we went to the moon...” – John (21:31) “Even Buzz Aldrin said most of the stuff you saw was animation." – John (21:58) “Now I don't believe we went to the moon anymore." – John (23:12)

• The show maintains a playful self-awareness about spiraling into conspiracy thinking:

  “I'm not sure we've been there...I'm still in the maybe camp. I'm not committing 100%, but I'm pretty sure like the tug of war, little rope in the middle just got pulled over towards we never went.” – John (34:12)

8. Social Grievances: Porn Access and Tejano Music

• John is frustrated over Arizona blocking easy porn access, blaming politicians and proposing:

  “If you elect me, I'm gonna ice that. How's it my business what you're doing on your Internet and protecting kids? It's not our job...If your kid's smart enough to click that, you need to, you know, go through their phone every once in a while.” – John (50:08)

• Launches a tongue-in-cheek campaign to ticket drivers blasting Tejano music:

  “I'm going to run on this this year. Election year. Porn should be easier. And it's a ticketable offense if I can hear Mexican music coming out of a car. Culturally, your music’s horrible. We all know it.” – John (53:38)

9. Cultural Rantings & Equal Opportunity Offense

• John expands his "bans" to Italian Sambuca, French butter, Swedish Ikea, and eventually jokes about “segregated movie theaters” with talking/non-talking options to avoid cultural clashes (57:11–59:00).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Walker told me I had AIDS. Haley Joel Osmond saying that. Walker. Texas Ranger, told me.” – John (04:33)
• “If you decorate your house with lights for Valentine’s Day, you are dumb.” – John (06:44)
• On soulmate drawing: “Now I know to avoid my soulmate if I ever see this frontier woman that they drew me.” – John (11:03)
• “The bush on this soulmate—come on.” – John (11:04)
• “Buzz was on and Conan o' Brien… 'we were never there.' And Conan's like 'what?' and he goes, 'yeah, everything you ever saw was just animations.'” – John (27:59)
• “I don't want to be with you guys. You scare me.” (about hardcore moon landing debunkers) – John (27:17)
• “I got deep into this, and it’s all Jay Ackerman’s fault because he's like, look into this. And those…All these space things. My algorithm changed into this, like, crazy lunatic space thing.” – John (25:11)
• “If fat America starts floating around...” – John (37:02)
• “It's a ticketable offense if I can hear Mexican music coming out of a car.” – John (53:38)
• “It's not my business what you do with your own tamales.” – John (56:35)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Christmas/Decorations & Year of the Horse: 06:21–07:49
• Astrology Skepticism: 07:49–08:27
• Instagram Shopping & Psychic Soulmate Sketch: 08:27–12:55
• Book Discussion & Wealth Inequality: 12:55–14:44
• Space, Black Holes, and Gravity Loss Theory: 16:13–19:44
• Light Speed and Galaxy Size: 20:05–20:32
• Moon Landing Doubts: 21:31–27:57
• Conspiracies & Skepticism Spiral: 27:57–34:12
• No Gravity Apocalypse Fallout: 35:34–38:38
• Wildlife and Floating Chaos: 38:38–41:23
• Random Scientific Facts & Football Tangent: 41:23–42:53
• More Moon Landing and Social Paranoia: 44:12–49:10
• Arizona's Porn Ban & Tech Workarounds: 47:41–50:59
• Rant Against Loud Tejano (Mexican) Music: 53:33–56:31
• Riffing on Cultural ‘Bans’ and Segregated Theaters: 56:31–58:53
• Wake Up Song & Music Suggestions: 59:10–59:38

Episode Takeaways

• This episode is a prime example of Holmberg’s ability to blend societal commentary, humor, and wild speculative thinking, all the while poking fun at himself.
• The hosts keep things light, using conspiracy theory fodder as a palette for comedy rather than dogma, and highlight the slipperiness of online “rabbit holes.”
• Holmberg’s faux-serious campaign for banning loud Tejano music offers a satirical take on cultural pet peeves, while his porn protest lampoons legislative overreach.
• Whether on cosmic mysteries or mundane annoyances, the Morning Sickness team flags the line between healthy skepticism and comic absurdity, making their explorations as much about the journey as any worldview conclusion.

For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is for fans of comedic banter around pop science, conspiracies, and the quirks of modern life. While the surface-level topics range from astrology and holidays to NASA and Tejano music, the real throughline is the show’s embrace of comic exaggeration and self-aware nonsense. It's an entertaining, irreverent ride through the minds of a morning show crew refusing to take anything—including themselves—too seriously.