01-05-26 - It's The Year Of The Horse And Other Astrological Nonsense - John Spent Too Much Time On Break Going Down Moon/Space And Other Conspiracy Rabbit Holes - Holmberg's Push To Ban Loud Tejano Music In Cars

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Jan 5, 2026

Episode: "It's The Year Of The Horse And Other Astrological Nonsense"

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

The first 2026 episode kicks off with Holmberg and crew recovering from the holiday break and diving headfirst into a blend of post-holiday observations, astrophysics rabbit holes, conspiracy musings, and mock-serious social proposals. Holmberg humorously explores his evolving skepticism towards the moon landing, warns listeners about a supposed upcoming “no gravity” day, and campaigns (tongue-in-cheek) to ban loud Tejano music from cars. The tone is irreverent and fast-paced, with thoughtful banter, outlandish hypotheses, and a healthy amount of self-deprecation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The End of the Holiday Season & Decorative Slutty Houses

• John laments the disappearance of Christmas decorations as the new year rolls in, joking that houses look less like "whores" now (06:22). He expresses disdain for people who overdecorate for Valentine's or Halloween, calling it “dumb” and “lonely” (06:44).

2. Astrology & The Year of the Horse

• The crew riffs on the "Year of the Horse" and astrology in general, deriding both as vague and unhelpful:

  "Everything's going to be careful. Don't cross the street, whatever you do. Every one of the Aries is going to get hit today." – John (07:59)

3. Break-Time Deep Dives & Instagram Purchases

• John confesses to spending his break falling into social media wormholes and buying odd products, including a $29 psychic “soulmate drawing.” The result? An underwhelming frontier woman whom he jokes about dodging in bookstores (11:03).
• The drawing is described dismissively:

  "She looks like she's pretty enough if it were 1850. Like, she's gonna die during childbirth. You know that stench? Oh, God. The bush on this soulmate." – John (11:04)

4. Economic Books & Wealth Separation

• A brief tangent discusses the book “Have and Have Yachts,” critiquing rich people who lament the rich (13:29):

  "You can't have rich people telling you there's too many rich people." – John (13:48)

5. Astrophysics Rabbit Holes: No Gravity Apocalypse?

• Spurred by talk of Neil deGrasse Tyson, John describes a theory that two black holes will approach each other around August, possibly eliminating earth’s gravity for 6-7 seconds (16:13–19:44).
• They joke about the carnage this would cause—raining cars, floating people, dead wildlife:

  “If in fact that happens, there’s a… probability that we will lose gravity for six seconds… most people will go up 30 or 40 meters in six seconds... then gravity comes back and you don't float down, especially cars. It starts raining cars and stuff.” – John (17:27)

• The crew riffs darkly:

  "60 million people are like that. And they're saying it with, you know, 40 to 60 million people because it's going to rain cars, planes." – John (36:14) "If fat America starts floating around...the splatter factor is going to kill other states." – John (37:02)

6. Light Speed, the Size of the Galaxy, and Molecules in Water

• John shares mind-bending facts:

  “If we travel at light speed, we could get to the sun in eight minutes… at light speed, to go from one end of our galaxy to the other, 200,000 years." – John (20:22, 20:32) “There are more molecules in a glass of water than there are glasses of water in the ocean." – John (29:00)

7. Moon Landing Conspiracies

• John confesses his skepticism has grown, citing:
  • NASA’s talk of “finally putting men on the moon” during new Artemis missions
  • Van Allen radiation belt dangers
  • Oddities with moon landing footage, lost technology, and staged recreations

  "I now no longer believe we went to the moon...” – John (21:31) “Even Buzz Aldrin said most of the stuff you saw was animation." – John (21:58) “Now I don't believe we went to the moon anymore." – John (23:12)

• The show maintains a playful self-awareness about spiraling into conspiracy thinking:

  “I'm not sure we've been there...I'm still in the maybe camp. I'm not committing 100%, but I'm pretty sure like the tug of war, little rope in the middle just got pulled over towards we never went.” – John (34:12)

8. Social Grievances: Porn Access and Tejano Music

• John is frustrated over Arizona blocking easy porn access, blaming politicians and proposing:

  “If you elect me, I'm gonna ice that. How's it my business what you're doing on your Internet and protecting kids? It's not our job...If your kid's smart enough to click that, you need to, you know, go through their phone every once in a while.” – John (50:08)

• Launches a tongue-in-cheek campaign to ticket drivers blasting Tejano music:

  “I'm going to run on this this year. Election year. Porn should be easier. And it's a ticketable offense if I can hear Mexican music coming out of a car. Culturally, your music’s horrible. We all know it.” – John (53:38)

9. Cultural Rantings & Equal Opportunity Offense

• John expands his "bans" to Italian Sambuca, French butter, Swedish Ikea, and eventually jokes about “segregated movie theaters” with talking/non-talking options to avoid cultural clashes (57:11–59:00).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Walker told me I had AIDS. Haley Joel Osmond saying that. Walker. Texas Ranger, told me.” – John (04:33)
• “If you decorate your house with lights for Valentine’s Day, you are dumb.” – John (06:44)
• On soulmate drawing: “Now I know to avoid my soulmate if I ever see this frontier woman that they drew me.” – John (11:03)
• “The bush on this soulmate—come on.” – John (11:04)
• “Buzz was on and Conan o' Brien… 'we were never there.' And Conan's like 'what?' and he goes, 'yeah, everything you ever saw was just animations.'” – John (27:59)
• “I don't want to be with you guys. You scare me.” (about hardcore moon landing debunkers) – John (27:17)
• “I got deep into this, and it’s all Jay Ackerman’s fault because he's like, look into this. And those…All these space things. My algorithm changed into this, like, crazy lunatic space thing.” – John (25:11)
• “If fat America starts floating around...” – John (37:02)
• “It's a ticketable offense if I can hear Mexican music coming out of a car.” – John (53:38)
• “It's not my business what you do with your own tamales.” – John (56:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Christmas/Decorations & Year of the Horse: 06:21–07:49
• Astrology Skepticism: 07:49–08:27
• Instagram Shopping & Psychic Soulmate Sketch: 08:27–12:55
• Book Discussion & Wealth Inequality: 12:55–14:44
• Space, Black Holes, and Gravity Loss Theory: 16:13–19:44
• Light Speed and Galaxy Size: 20:05–20:32
• Moon Landing Doubts: 21:31–27:57
• Conspiracies & Skepticism Spiral: 27:57–34:12
• No Gravity Apocalypse Fallout: 35:34–38:38
• Wildlife and Floating Chaos: 38:38–41:23
• Random Scientific Facts & Football Tangent: 41:23–42:53
• More Moon Landing and Social Paranoia: 44:12–49:10
• Arizona's Porn Ban & Tech Workarounds: 47:41–50:59
• Rant Against Loud Tejano (Mexican) Music: 53:33–56:31
• Riffing on Cultural ‘Bans’ and Segregated Theaters: 56:31–58:53
• Wake Up Song & Music Suggestions: 59:10–59:38

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Episode Takeaways

• This episode is a prime example of Holmberg’s ability to blend societal commentary, humor, and wild speculative thinking, all the while poking fun at himself.
• The hosts keep things light, using conspiracy theory fodder as a palette for comedy rather than dogma, and highlight the slipperiness of online “rabbit holes.”
• Holmberg’s faux-serious campaign for banning loud Tejano music offers a satirical take on cultural pet peeves, while his porn protest lampoons legislative overreach.
• Whether on cosmic mysteries or mundane annoyances, the Morning Sickness team flags the line between healthy skepticism and comic absurdity, making their explorations as much about the journey as any worldview conclusion.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is for fans of comedic banter around pop science, conspiracies, and the quirks of modern life. While the surface-level topics range from astrology and holidays to NASA and Tejano music, the real throughline is the show’s embrace of comic exaggeration and self-aware nonsense. It's an entertaining, irreverent ride through the minds of a morning show crew refusing to take anything—including themselves—too seriously.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, everybody, it's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our home Pet rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost our home Pet rescue and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost our home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situation. Look him up online lost our home.org and check out everything we [e-mail] in the pick of the litter section. Sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 can hear the p. Wake. Wake up and start your day Wake up and start your day with me Jump home. Good morning sickness. 98 Kupda hey, short to the point. Yeah, you know, not the most creative thing I've ever seen. Let's try. You want to hear it again? All right. Yeah. I like to scream in the beginning. This is the Thomas James band with our 2026 Wake up song. And again, big shoes to fill because those chicks that had it last year were great. Let's see if they've. This is going every day and I don't want to hear from everybody hating it. First day, everybody always. Last year, that's all I heard. Everybody hated this. Hate that. Here, let's try it again, shall we? Wake up. Wake up and start your day Wake up and start your day with me Jump home. Good morning sickness K U p D. Walker told me I had aids. See, it's gonna. It's gonna let me have time with it. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be able to goof around with it like that. I can start playing. I love that moment. That was my favorite moment in 25 years. Tarot read. Let's talk about Sharknado. Let's not. I loved. I loved every second of telling that drunken slut. Anyhow. All right. Thomas James Band. You know. You know, creativity level is not exactly through the roof, but we like the transition. Yeah. We'll start out right.

[Brett Vesely]

Fast and heavy and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And we got ourselves the. You know, the name of shows in there. K3's name. That's awesome.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. I'm not in time to run and get coffee.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Brett. In between that.

[Brett Vesely]

I know. That was the great thing about the last song.

[John Holmberg]

I like. Refill. Be right back. Coffee while it played. Actually, that was a big time saver for I looked. Oh, geez. I got to find that Wake up song. And give me a minute to kind of gather. This one's only 40 seconds. All right. Well, there you go. Thomas James Band. They are our new Wake up song for 2026. And I know you're going to email I miss Miles to Nora. We all missed them. They were great. This one will be good. And plus, they left me tons of room for all my stupid little clips. Stuff like that. Got all that stuff. I'd said that. My favorite one still. Walker told me I had aids. Haley Joel Osmond saying that. Walker. Texas Ranger, told me.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Amazing.

[Brett Vesely]

Price is right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we'll throw her in the mix. Oh, no. He lost it. I'm looking for it. Oh, Brett makes me play this all the time. Yeah, we'll do this. All right, here's how it's gonna. Here's how it's gonna sound. Brett. Ready? Here we go. Whoops. All right, hold on. Get rid of this.

[Brett Vesely]

Can't wait.

[John Holmberg]

We'll do this. This is how we'll get used to this. I'll put it in a specific spot for you. Here on the Price is Right. Nicole Slapner. It works, actually. Yeah. I gotta time it to post, but, man, I like that one a lot. I don't say. All right. We can play with this one.

[Brett Vesely]

I like this.

[John Holmberg]

I'll do the loop. Missing his field goal for a couple of days. We got some clips. All right. Thank you, Thomas James fan.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy Shane just nailed it. He goes Clutch.

[John Holmberg]

Clutch.

[Brett Vesely]

Nailed the Wake up song this morning.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

That's Very clutchy. Yeah, we'll just tell people clutch. Did our wake up song or theme? All right, there we go. Thank you, guys. Nice job. Well done. All right, we'll get used to that one and I'll play with it and we'll make it silly and fun and stick around with that for the next few weeks. Next 52 of them, if you can believe it. Christmas is over. This is my least normally, but today, not so much normally. This is my least favorite day of the year because it's the day back after the holidays and I. This is the day that makes me realize how much I love houses dressed up as prostitutes. I absolutely get used to that through December, seeing everybody's house dressed up like a slut and you got stuff laying in the front yard and there's bright lights everywhere. And then you drive in on the first day back, and it happens to be the fifth, you know, fifth of January, and you realize that this weekend everybody took off all their lights and there's a couple stragglers that'll hang out.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

There's a lot still.

[John Holmberg]

And I. You know, you drove in today and there was no. There was no whore houses, so to speak, as I drove in. And boy, man, it was getting right before we left and any. All through the break. Everywhere I went was just crazy. People went nuts this year. And I loved it. So I don't like it for any other holiday. I think the Halloween decorations look stupid.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Valentine's is up.

[John Holmberg]

Valentine's are for lonely old women. If you decorate your house with lights for Valentine's Day, you are dumb. But let me put up a little thing. Put up a heart wreath or something with the tree. I know people with Valentine's trees and they're starting that and east island, you.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Know, a lot of the homes are getting the permanent lighting thing, so. They do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you know, and sometimes that looks okay, but for the most part, it's, you know. And that's a prostitute. Your house is a. When you. When you gussy it up for every single event. And, you know, I like the Christmas one, and it's unique and it's fun and it's sad. But this morning I wasn't sad. I just saw that there was not a lot of horrors homes. I was excited about it. It's the year of the horse. And it took me a second to hear the guy on BBC say that probably. He said that this year we go into the year of the. They called the fire horse because I don't think they can say that with a British accent the year of the horse. Somewhat interested in the year of the Horse. It's the. Of the holes. That means there's never a year of the. Oh, boy. This is no good. Every single. It's like astrology every time.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Whatever animal you talk about.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but it's. It's astrology. Never has. Like, you're gonna have a terrible day. Somebody's gonna take a shot at you. Everything's always like, yeah, this will happen. You're gonna. It might be a little gloomy.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Be careful.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's gonna be careful. Don't cross the street, whatever you do. Every one of the Aries is going to get hit today. Over the break, I did a whole load of nothing and I sat a lot in wormholes of videos and things I just. I laid out. And the one that came up was the. That I was like, I'm gonna do. I spent a lot of stupid money on products. I just. I ended up buying 40 or 50 different things just on Instagram.

[Brett Vesely]

Is this where Cabana Bear cabanaware came from the first time?

[John Holmberg]

No, cabanaware wasn't. Cabanaware came from the idea that when I was with Kevin Ray in LA and we were at a hotel lobby drinking and hanging out, and there's this party just kind of erupted and this black albino, no joke, came by with a guy with a world championship wrestling belt. And they just sat and hung out with us. And the albino, the black albino was in a cabana outfit. And I'm like, that's.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

That looks cool.

[John Holmberg]

Something like. Nah, it looks super cozy. You know, I think I like that. I think I like the matching. We had 30 pairs of them. Well, I meant to order one and a whole box showed up. I accidentally ordered the whole lot. I still have them, too, and it's piled up in a corner. I wore my Steelers one a couple weeks ago, but, yeah, so I got that. The cabana where wasn't it. This was different. So I get on. I get on the steel. And out of all the products that.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

You bought on Instagram.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

How many were a mission?

[John Holmberg]

I haven't gotten all of them yet.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

So some of them take forever. Take forever. Like, one of them that I got that I'm actually looking forward to is gonna. It's like January 18th and I ordered first week.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah, it's six weeks on a couple. I've got one. It's a it. And every day you get a thing. It's in Switzerland right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

On its way.

[John Holmberg]

So just for fun, one of this. One of the things that kept coming up was, this lady will draw your soulmate. Like, she's like a crazy psychic or something. And she's like, I'll draw a picture of your soulmate for 29 bucks. I'm like, I got 29 bucks. It was like three in the morning. I wasn't even drunk or anything. I was just like, 29 bucks. Let's see what she comes up with. Just to laugh, right? I'm gonna. We'll put a picture of it up. So 29 bucks. And then. And then it asked you a few questions. And it asked you like you were. I know. I was duped. The first question was, what's your sign? We're getting into this garbage, Leo. Like, what's your birthday? July 26th. And, like, goes on the thing. And. And so I put in all the things. It's like, do you find yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert? I'm like, I don't know. It depends. I'm like, that's. I'll say. I'm kind of an introverted extrovert. There's no answer for that. So I just put other. And then there was a couple others on it. So I answered it all normally. And then my soulmate showed up. And I dodged this bitch like. Like nobody's business. Like, I don't want her to. Like, if now I know to avoid my soulmate if I ever see this frontier woman that they drew me, like, she's.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yuck.

[John Holmberg]

This Little House in the Prairie going on here. What are you talking about? Wash your hair. Like, what are we, like, Dr. Quinn. Dr. Quinn. Medicine woman. She's rugged, all right. She looks like she's pretty enough if it were 1850. Like, she's gonna die during childbirth. You know that stench? Oh, God. The bush on this soulmate. Come on.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

How does it. Is it just like that on the screen or they. They send you a frame?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's like a. No, I don't get a frame of it. It's 29 bucks. I think I can probably get extra money and hang the picture. I'm supposed to meet her in a bookstore. Like I'm ever going in a bookstore. Like, it said, well, because I answered a couple questions.

[Brett Vesely]

Zorbas or something.

[John Holmberg]

And it said I was intellectual through the little quiz they gave me. And I'm like, I don't know if that's fairly accurate or not. I'm like, so you. You get a kick out of this? Like, not only will I be at a Bookstore. I'll be at a book signing. Not me signing them, but like somebody, an author that I'm a fan of.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe Pratt's gonna put another book.

[John Holmberg]

That could be. I would go to that. And maybe she's there to dick around. Like, man, be my soulmate, Frontier Lady. So, yeah, I get this drawing of this frontier lady and I just start laughing. I'm like, all right, well. And her initials are RG And I'm not looking for a soul. Yeah. I'm not doing any of that. Got that covered. Right. Yeah. Good. But I just curious what the. Like what the psychic thought, you know, she came up with this. Yeah. This brought here. And now I have to have to dodge this lady. And bookstores, which has not been a problem for me my entire life. Bookstores are horrible. Terrible.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Mom was pushing a book on me over the break and then.

[John Holmberg]

Your mom.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah. What one halves and have yachts. It's basically the separation that's going on right now.

[John Holmberg]

So what? So which would she rather be?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I was with my brother. Hey, have you read this yet? No, haven't have yachts and Hattie. Oh, yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

He's saying, yeah, you should read that.

[John Holmberg]

He's a big fan of it.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah. They told. They're definitely.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, see, I need to be in on this separation.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

That and my. My brother in law who does very well.

[John Holmberg]

There's too many rich people is what he's saying.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

You should be. They should pay more taxes.

[John Holmberg]

He can. He can do that anytime he wants.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

And he feels that way.

[John Holmberg]

Then do it.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

He's like, they should.

[John Holmberg]

Did he tell his Venezuelan maid about the book? Thank you. I'll be all right. We'll be right back.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Probably right.

[John Holmberg]

That's the. That's the thing where I. You can't have rich people telling you there's too many rich people.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I kind of told him that a.

[John Holmberg]

Little, you know, you're doing fine.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Look, you want to, which is good, but you can't. You know, I was just making the point that you can't say to someone you have to do this. That's not.

[John Holmberg]

Cut a check. If you want to pay more taxes, you get a lot of money. That's great. I will continue doing the thing where I try to pay the least amount, just like everybody else. I'm going to go over. This system works.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

More money, does that mean everything is effectively used?

[John Holmberg]

I don't care about that. I just know that if it's more money from me, I'm unhappy. You figure your own lives out. I'm not worried about other people. I can if I can make it so. And I don't. We're cruising along.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

We're good as far as the how the money's being made. Like we have more billionaires than we ever had and it's separating more. Okay, I understand that must be more.

[John Holmberg]

Billionaires than we've ever had. There's more money in circulation and yeah, it's. There's an imbalance, sure. If you give me a billion, I'm not going to be a hypocrite either and say if somebody said you want a billion dollars, I'd be like, no, impossible. That I'd be jumping all over that. I can't be too mad at billionaires if in fact I would like to be one. And I would get something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98 KUPD CALM.

[Larry McFeely]

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[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Larry McFeely]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Larry McFeely]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness over the break. Also, I. I started diving. I gotta blame Jay Ackerman from React Defense for this one because he started in talking a while ago while we were training about Neil DeGrasse Tyson stuff and I've always found him fascinating. If he ever shows up at a bookstore and does a signing, I may go soulmate. That's when I go, and then I'm going to meet that frontier lady. I'm good by Conestoga wagon in the parking lot. I shouldn't go in because if that's how she gets from. If there's a horse tied up in front of the Barnes and Noble, I probably shouldn't go in because that's my soulmate's ride. Anyway, so he starts talking about stuff and I got into these. Did you know this will screw you up 20, 26. It's pretty much widely accepted that there's a point in space where two black holes are going to get kind of close to each other and send out some, some sort of weird. As I put two magnets next to the will just happen. And there's a chance, and it's pretty good chance, but not like a crazy chance that it'll affect Earth. And if in fact that happens, there's a. There's a probability that we will lose gravity for six seconds.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

We can float for six seconds.

[John Holmberg]

We ain't gonna float. Ready? We're gonna go away.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Oh, we'll drop.

[John Holmberg]

No, you will, you'll float. You better be inside because they say most people will go up 30 or 40 meters in six seconds. Yeah. And all the stuff that isn't tied down, cars, all this other stuff for 30 or 40 seconds or 30 or 40 meters, it's quick floating. Then gravity comes back and you don't float down, especially cars. It starts raining cars and stuff. Umbrellas, patio furniture, people. And they're like even, you know, been to this.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Floating up to the ceiling and then dropping.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's no fun dropping. Dropping from the ceiling. Bad idea. Bad idea. If you climb, you know what everybody's like, boot stupid. Climb up on a couch and jump off of it. If you're over 40, it's the most horrifying thing you can ever imagine doing. I was on a two step ladder the other day and I looked down like I was going to hop off and my brain was like, you know your knees can't take them. Like I'm a foot and a half off the ground. Just don't risk it. And I climbed down slowly like that's crazy. Get up on a couch and just jump off of it like you did when you were a kid. Now imagine that you're stuck to the ceiling for three seconds. You're like, whoa. And then try to straighten your body out. You're not going to go up like a lawn dart. I don't know if it's going to happen. But that was and Then so you got like, real scientists on it. And they're like, yeah, that's probably what would happen if this thing gets as close as we think it's going to be like, August. They're shooting for August this year. Yeah, yeah. And so I'm like, that's silly. And I looked at like 10 or 12 other things and I'm like, oh.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I'm tethering myself down in August.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they said tie yourself to something, but they don't know when. Like, they're. They'll get a decent idea. I doubt it'll happen because we hear about this stuff all the time. But there was a bunch of, like, prominent guys going, yeah, that, that's probably a thing. Like, in August there's a good chance we'll lose gravity. Well, that's a good kickoff to the year. Thanks, boys. Start wondering, do I want to know this?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Huh?

[Brett Vesely]

And get rid of it.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brett Vesely]

The black holes? I mean, case in the riggers up there, like Armageddon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No black holes. You can't nuke a black. Come on, you know, you can't. Armageddon. Black holes with nukes.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Can't counter it with a.

[John Holmberg]

They can take care of it. No, no, no. And then the same guy's talking and he said something about light speed, and I went, what? And then my brain just broke. Do you know that if we travel at light speed, we could get to the sun and I think it was eight minutes at light speed, you could get to the moon. You go around the Earth seven times.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

So we always put up a flashlight, pointed.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't think that's. A flashlight would be. I mean, it's moving, it's light.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

It would take eight minutes to.

[John Holmberg]

But. Yeah, but it's not powerful enough. If you had light speed, though, you could go around the Earth seven times in a second. You get to the moon in like a second and a half.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the. Here's the thing. It'll break your brain, but at light speed, to go from one end of our galaxy to the other, 200,000 years.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

That'S the estimates right now.

[John Holmberg]

Right? That's pretty good estimates. And they're pretty. They're pretty. They're pretty accurate with like. No, yeah, I know, I know. You don't want that to be a thing because it's not mind boggling. It's just. It's mind breaking. Like, there's nothing about that that makes you go, yeah, I get it. That's how big just our galaxy is. It explodes Your brain. So I'm watching all this stuff, and then I start clicking on other things. And through this little wormhole I got into. I now no longer believe we went to the moon. And it's based solely on the idea that the new moon mission that we've got with NASA keeps talking about how we figured out how to get men to the moon. The leader keeps going, we're finally gonna have men on the moon and men in orbit at the same time. And I'm like, oh, you just covered that. And then he said, we think we've got a way to get through the radiation belt. Like, didn't we already do this? And I started looking at the moon landing. I went crazy over the.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

When you pulled up. We pulled up the moon landing the one time and just saying what.

[John Holmberg]

So do you know who's recording it? There isn't any footage of the moon landing. Everything you see is either a recreation or it was never broadcast by NASA. NASA put it up on a wall, and all the cameramen from the news channels filmed the wall. That is the moon landing through media. Fine, whatever.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

And then when it was leaving.

[John Holmberg]

Yo, that little. I don't know how real that was. There's some weird. But even Buzz Aldrin said most of the stuff you saw was animation. And then pictures are recreations. They lost all the original tapes. They destroyed all the technology. So why all of it? And so I'm like, I'm watching this. And they had a press conference with the New moon crew.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Well, it wasn't. I mean, basically to win the. The race sure.

[John Holmberg]

To break Russia. Like, it was. It was an arms race for money. And, like, if we beat them to space, then we're going to. We'll get this. And if you notice, Russia just stopped trying to go to the moon after we got there. Like, well, that's broken. Never going to do it. Nobody ever went. Like, you had a guy up there and it's a big deal. Nobody, maybe. And there's some stuff where people, like, see that there's some Chinese lunar thing that went past and took a picture of, you know, where we landed and there's a little module. Maybe. I'm still saying that to maybe. But why is. The new crew keeps the one captain hits the other guy, goes, dude, we're going to the moon. Man on the. They're still, like, surprised by it. And then they had something about some belt that you're not supposed to be able to get through. Like, we think we figured out how to do that. And I'm like, we. We did this in the 60s. So now I don't believe we went to the moon anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

There it is.

[John Holmberg]

That's the. Well, that's the original. Is this a cartoon? Did you just find a cartoon? I think we launched a rocket, but everything you see is filmed off of a wall, that they shot it up on a screen. And then all for some texture on the wall and all the cat. I don't know. It's gonna be like a Santa Fe finish. Maybe find that Brett. You'll be a hero. Yeah. So I got really weird over the break and started looking into this too deep. Getting real dopey about is.

[Brett Vesely]

The shots are pretty amazing. It's like Spielberg's up there getting the big.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff, and there's stuff I just don't buy into either. But, man, it. It got me, you know, I. I spent way too much. The late night stuff. It's the Van Allen radiation belts. That's what they keep saying. Thanks, Kyle. Kyle just sent me that. I said, destroy anything. The film that came through. It wasn't even about that, though. They destroyed the technology coming back. Like, they. We had. We wrote it down, Right. Like somebody wrote down how they built all that stuff, and they just destroyed it. It's crazy. And then there's some dude in some island just north of Canada that He's got pictures of it, and then he puts it next to the shots on the moon, and he's like, it's here. They were here. And they have one base on that particular island, and it's NASA. It's theirs. And it's like way up north. You get into this stuff and you can go, I did. I went a little crazy. I went a little bit bananas with free time, idle hands. You get a little goofy.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

It is when you go back and look at the film that they have. Like, that could easily be a. A backdrop there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, solve it. And then. And then everybody starts going, but what about this? And then when you just start doubting it, you're like, it's all fake. Like, you just. You go crazy. I've gone crazy. I admit it. So don't tell me. Oh, you're nuts. That is the fakest thing.

[Brett Vesely]

How did they get that?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

That's what I'm saying. How does it.

[Brett Vesely]

And the camera follows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't get me started.

[Brett Vesely]

Sound like Nash now.

[John Holmberg]

I've been hanging out with that moron.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Back then, they had the technology where the camera was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

They could control it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but how'd they send it back here then, right? Was it not like they brought the videotapes or anything?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Filming them leaving.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's the least believable one. Oh, it's annoying. And I got deep into this, and it's all Jay Ackerman's fault because he's like, look into this. And those. All these space things. My algorithm changed into this, like, crazy lunatic space thing. And now I don't. Now I'm not. I'll say this, I'm not sure I believe it. Whereas before, I was pretty positive we went. But I've always said we didn't go. As many times we say, because it wouldn't have been cost effective to just keep going. But I think we. Like, we're basically showing Russia. It was like a trip to Wisconsin. Like, we can go anytime. We won't watch this. We'll do it again this weekend. And then we'd shoot up to the moon like it was Vegas and fire back like, everything's great. We can do this over and over. And they're like, how are they. What are they doing this every weekend? They're up at the moon, they're party dancing and all these. And we were like, we're just up there again. Will you guys not be in? Oh, it's pretty awesome. And then we just stopped and everybody stopped and nobody wanted to go anymore. And India said, can we would like to borrow the technology? I'm like, no, Japan wanted to go. No, you don't get anything. And then they just wrecked it. And nobody can figure it out. Japan can't figure it out. It's all they do is math and electronics.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Now we got a couple independents. They get just shooting up there.

[John Holmberg]

They just want to fire them up. And we celebrate crazy stuff. Like, you know, William Shatner was up there with Katy Perry for, like, three seconds. And we're like, ah, it's the greatest achievement, man. It's like, what the. We've done this a billion times, haven't we?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

No.

[John Holmberg]

So.

[Brett Vesely]

Threw her out the damn space hatch, singing, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Katy Perry floating around in space for a minute was pretty neat. But it's like, we haven't done any. That's not a thing. And I don't. And here's the other thing. Here's the problem I have with bringing this up. I don't want to be in the mix of people that don't believe in the moon landing. I don't want to be with you guys. You scare me.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, you guys hang out with Nash?

[John Holmberg]

No, he's Insane. Nash doesn't believe anything. And you hang out with him. You're like, all right. Somewhere in the middle is the truth. Like, we didn't get told the whole truth about 9 11, and we didn't get told lies 100% about. It's like something in the middle happened there. The moon landing. I'm starting to get weird about it. And I kind of like that. You know. This one says, welcome to the Conspiracy club, John. We'll send your membership card in the mail. A lot of people think Stanley Kubrick did it. Why would they? What? And again, there's where my real brain comes in and goes. We'd have to have too many people in on it if. If Hollywood did it. But, you know.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

And then who was it? Buzz Aldrin.

[John Holmberg]

Who.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Snapping at the end.

[John Holmberg]

Buzz Aldrin started to tell everybody. Here's another thing. When you get in this stuff. Buzz was on and Conan o' Brie were never there. And Conan. Conan's like, what? And he goes, yeah. Everything you ever saw was just animations. Like, we didn't have any technology to shoot that stuff back. So it was all animation. As we got some. All that. So people always say, well, they burned up the film coming back. They knew that. Wouldn't the film have burned up going out. Yeah. Going through the same thing. So unused film would have cooked. Wouldn't it? Anyway. Bananas. So I started. I started getting into that and I'm like, I gotta shake out of this. I gotta stop. And that's when I had my soulmate drawn for me. That was my back to reality moment. Did you know?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

But the space stations are real.

[John Holmberg]

I. That I kind of buy.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Because we have that. That couple finally come back. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We had to go rescue them. Like that was just. And. And why have that story even happen? Kind of. They were up there for like an extra eight months. And.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah. And it's international. So other people get up there, get the whole world.

[John Holmberg]

And that one seems like. It's. Seems reasonable to me. Like we can get out there. Here's another thing that breaks your brain. Do you know there are more molecules in a glass of water than there are glasses of water in the ocean? Suck on that for a second. Because everything's molecules. Yeah. Yeah. You can't. You can't do it. You can't do it. You can't do it. I. I can't take breaks anymore. I can't take vacations. What I need to do is get out. I can't sit at home and. And read. It's dangerous. First off, I'm not. I'm smart enough to just read. Comprehension is the problem. And then I make up my own stuff. I know all the words. It's like singing a song in another language. I can read at the end. I just have to make up my own mind. And this brain doesn't work normally.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

That's Shakespeare to me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's. Yeah, Shakespeare is hard to read this. You can read the words, though. It's like, you know, more molecules in a glass of water than there are glasses of water in the ocean.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

It's a lot of water.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't. Well, the ocean is. Yeah, but the think of that.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna throw up.

[Brett Vesely]

It's too much for the first day back.

[John Holmberg]

It is a lot.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're not wrong.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

It's just enough, though.

[John Holmberg]

No, like, I'm not gonna go.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I don't know how much I'll go looking into the mo thing I can.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I enjoy it because I'm like, oh, this is neat. I'm not trying to expose anything. I'm trying to make up my own. I think it's crazy that we went or that we didn't go, that we didn't get. I don't either. There's something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I do think the people who get too crazy about it are people I don't want to hang out with. Like, the last thing, like, telling you guys on the radio is fine because I can dodge you, but. Oh, and speaking of that, yesterday I'm on the freeway, put out a new rule. Driving back from. I had lunch with Lovett's yesterday. Two days in a row. That was a lot of love. A lot of Lovett's called me at 10:30 on Saturday night. Hey.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Are you awake?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a grown man. Saturday, like a baby. It's 10:30. What are you doing? Like, what are. Start over. What do you want? I just see what you're up to. Like, we're not doing anything. It's also 10:30, so what do you need? I was talking to this girl. I'm like, oh, my God, we're teenagers. I'm on the phone with Lovett's. This is killing me. So we go to lunch yesterday, and we went up by Desert Ridge. So I come back down the 51, and as I'm driving along, I'm singing, and I got the top off the Bronco, and I'm like, it's a beautiful day. And this car. You know when a car gets next to you and like, he's got tons of room to either keep going or slow down. It's no reason to be chips. There's no reason to just go same speed. He matches my speed. So I'm like, side eyeing it. Like, what's this jackass up to? And I look over and he's got a little tiny baby camera, and he's taking pictures of me waving. And I'm like, no, this ends today. This is a new rule. I'm talking about him tomorrow. None of that's gonna happen again. Don't do that. And plus, he had a little tiny, like, spy camera. It wasn't his phone or anything. And I waved and I smiled and I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Because I'm happy.

[John Holmberg]

Before the game, I was really nervous. Yeah, I was weird. Very weird. So I got that going on. But I don't want to hang out with. With the moon landing people. But I think I might be in your camp now. But I'm not gonna be noisy about it. I'm also still the guy.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Is there a local group, Brett?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm not going to meetings. I'm just curious this is starting to go down the road where they meet at bookstores and the next thing you know, I've got a frontiersman at my house. Yeah, I'd love for you to meet my father, but he passed from consumption like, Jesus Christ. How old are you? I'm your soul mate. Are you still alive or what? Anyway, so that was what I did and it's. It's got me. But the moon landing things got. I don't understand why nobody and nobody in the press corps asked the leader of the new group to the moon. And they're going next year or something. And they're so excited. And nobody said. Did you just say, nobody's been there yet. You just said, finally, humans on the moon. And then they tried to cover it later by saying, oh, and also in high orbit. We haven't had that. At the same time, like, don't get excited about people in the moon. Say we're going back to the moon. But he didn't say that. I'm not sure we've been there. And this guy says this thing, he's with all these high powered crazy telescopes. You can't get me a shot of the flag. Like, you can buy those now. I don't know. I'm still in the maybe camp. I'm not committing 100%, but I'm pretty sure, like the tug of war, little rope in the middle just got pulled over towards. We never went. I might be. I might have gone crazy over the break. Maybe. And if we lose gravity in August, first off, I'm a little excited about. They say that it could kill up to 60 million people. 60 million people.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

The gravity dip.

[John Holmberg]

Seven seconds of no gravity across the planet.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

It's six, right?

[John Holmberg]

Six or seven seconds. Six or seven seconds. That's 40 meters. That was what he did. Say six, seven. And I started laughing at that. But six or seven seconds, maybe that was a six, seven joke that went crazy. But they were all pretty much like, yeah, these black holes get together and this is what we think might happen. Yeah. And it makes that weird noise like you're shaking a saw. What was that? And then Brett's like. And he's floating up for 30 meters and then comes back down. That's a lot.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

60 million.

[John Holmberg]

60 million people are like that. And they're saying it with, you know, 40 to 60 million people because it's going to rain cars, planes.

[Larry McFeely]

Everything.

[John Holmberg]

Think of that. Everything floats and then comes crashing back down.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Start selling tie down.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Equipment.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. I don't know what's going to Happen. Bolt it down. That one day you forget. I mean, how often do you sit back and go, oh God, here comes some wind. And umbrellas are open in the ark. You forget it's no gravity day. I hope that doesn't start. If your God starts bouncing us around like flat basketballs.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't man. Imagine being around Texas Grill when that happens.

[John Holmberg]

All them fatties. Oh my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Slamming down.

[John Holmberg]

If it starts raining Texas Grill people, we're doomed. 70, 80 million. Just Arizona. I don't know. It's still. The splatter factor is going to kill other states. Fat America starts floating around. If fat America starts floating around. Oh, and then they. Then they said the thing about the cleanup. The like the insanity of the cleanup. Cuz like everything in the grocery store animals. Oh yeah. Oh, didn't even think of that. Like the wild bears. Just like, what the. And they'll all die.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yep.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Every squirrel in the world. Think of what the sky would look like for. Kind of be cool.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Not every squirrel. Because almost all of it could be in the tree trunk at the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Just can only go up so high in the tree, you know, it's not hollowed out all the way. If they're inside the nasty internal.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, I guess a couple of lazy squirrels.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I mean there might be a couple.

[John Holmberg]

Of them out there.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Nut bears in a den.

[John Holmberg]

But we can warn people. But.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah, but the animals.

[John Holmberg]

Bears. Bears in a den in August. Not a thing. There's that there. And all the salmon comes out of the water and they're like, what's going on? And then they're like, wait a minute, I'm out of the water. I'm. What is going on? And then the salmon are in the air and they're still hunting. I think I got one. And then they just come smashing back down in Alaska. So happy New Year, everybody. Eight months. And it wasn't a prediction. It was a scientific thought. So it's an idea. And again, probably won't happen. But when you're crazy and your brain stops working and you're having some lady draw your soulmate for 30 bucks for fun, your brain stops. It shuts off. And that Instagram is just a fastest way to shut your head off. And I got a burner account just to watch videos. I don't follow anybody and don't get followed. And so I just want to watch the videos people send. And then I start scrolling. And unlike Brady, it's not cripples and breastfeeding moms. I got lunatics on mine. It's kind of neat. And I'm into, like, a couple of. I'm not going to conspiracy theorist. I still think it's crazy to think that everybody's, you know. You know, everybody's that succinct with how to pull something off. I just don't think they can do it. I do think that thing in Venezuela's an arrangement, and Brett should know more than anybody. This is how it happens. No, they do the raid. It's in the Sopranos. They did the raid on Leotardo's house. And it was either you either sit with us or we can you. That's exactly what you said. And he knew it was coming. And it's quiet. Just cuff him. Life doesn't ever go though. This one says, maybe Brady gets lucky on no Gravity Day and a generator will land in his backyard. Hey, yeah, we bring a generator, start floating over. And I think everybody thinks it's going to be like a cartoon where it just goes straight up and straight down, but there'll still be wind and stuff and maybe more. And so then it just starts whipping around like, you know, dorothy's gonna land in your yard. I gotta. I gotta get off this computer. I'm not good at this. But this one says, brett, Brett now can throw some bodies out there with zero repercussions. Yeah, the Italians are the big winners on Zero Gravity Day because they just take all their kills and lay them in the backyard, and then they float up. Smash. I got three of my enemies landed real close together. I can't believe it. Oh, Lord Jesus.

[Brett Vesely]

God bless.

[John Holmberg]

God bless.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

God bless.

[John Holmberg]

God bless. God bless. Yeah, this guy says, I got it, too. I did the. My brain was all over the place the last few days. We get no gravity. What happens to the ocean water? There's the other thing I don't know again. All I saw was, if it's not floating around, well, the waves could potentially go crazy. I don't know what happens.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

The tide.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what happens. What happens to the moon? It drops, there's nothing. If we were 18ft further away from the sun, we'd all freeze. If we were 18ft closer to the sun, we'd all burn up in, like, three seconds.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's how perfectly placed this stupid thing is. It's crazy. And again, you're traveling at 1.3 million miles an hour right now.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I mean, the need for speed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're feeling it. You don't feel the thing. Everything's normal. It's also normal. And that's why we can sit back and we're like, how in the world did that guy miss that kick last night? Well, that's exactly the way he goes to. Because I don't care, as long as the ravens aren't in anything. I hope the ravens lose gravity and just leave, like, float out of. Float out of the atmosphere.

[Brett Vesely]

There goes Lamar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. On the atmosphere. Sucks him out into space, and he lives. And because he's so ugly, even space doesn't want to kill. And he just spins around the planet and can get your telescope out and watch scared, dumb Lamar floating around in space. Hopefully, Lamar, just for fun, the day that gravity doesn't happen, Lamar gets, like, invited over to, like, some space place and, hey, would you like to try on this new atmospheric safety suit with a helmet that has air in it for, like, 80 years? Okay. And he puts it on, and then we have no gravity, and he floats off the Earth and he lives in space for the rest of his life, and he has to. And it's like, oh, no. And you just hear it every once in a while. Floating over. Oh, no. Lamar can't come back. Lost in space. Lamar Jackson. Oh, John.

[Brett Vesely]

So what you're telling me we're gonna have a real live sharknado?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, the sharks. Anything surfacey in the water comes up, too. They brought that up. Anything, like, if I'm jumping out, if a whale's breaching and then the gravity stops, and then whales, but they'll go smashing back into the ocean. They're very rarely on the shore.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

It's the only one that's not affected. Birds, if they're flying, I guess they would float for a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're. They're the real winners here.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know how they work with gravity, because I know that gravity helps them.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

So, like, if you're in a plane, you would float inside the plane plane?

[John Holmberg]

No, the plane would stop. Like, gravity still.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah, it would just float. But once it started, the engines.

[John Holmberg]

If the engines are still cooking. Yeah. I don't know, but I know for a fact that, like, we have to have thrust and push and all that stuff to keep it up, because otherwise it comes. Obviously you've seen a crash, right?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So then that goes away for six seconds of the plane just start floating more probably.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Or does it go out of control because now it doesn't need the jets, so might just start spinning. Yeah, I don't know.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Like, we're just not fighting against anything yet. Yeah. Anyway, good luck. August. You got till August. My birthday's in July, so this might be the last.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

My brother's gonna have a good birthday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This might be the last football season. That's it. Cardinal fans, you might have just wasted it all. And the. No gravity. August cancels the season for next year. Of course, it would be the best thing could happen to the Cardinals. They have training camp and they just float away and smash onto the ground. They got to start all over. Maybe they all land on Bidwell and you guys can have something better. I gotta stay away from that. That was too much time off. Way too much downtime for me. I got deep into some nonsense, like, real deep. But that's probably why I see this Venezuela thing differently than most people do, is because I'm like, I've been reading a lot, an awful lot, about, like, stuff that isn't quite there. I did, like, when Trump came on, he goes. It's like the Monroe Doctrine. He told everybody in Europe to knock it off. We're doing that with the Americas. I call it the Don Road Doctor. Oh, God. He's got his own funny name for it. Greenland. You're next. We don't even need helicopters for that. There's a couple of horses and maybe a wooden boat or a bass boat. Let's go up there. Where's your leader? But they care. Move, Greenlandy people. We're like 12,000 of you. Where is he? Where's the biggest house in Greenland? I'm sure that guy's in charge. And there's some dude at the top of the hill growing tulips or whatever they do there and snap him up. And his wife.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

They're calling every day NATO. Hey, just one of them.

[John Holmberg]

Could you help us? Hell, they're gonna take you. There's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Anyway, no gravity. August. And Greenland's gonna be a state, too. Like Valenzuela Fernando. Yeah, I looked at that. That whole thing. Somebody emailed. How could you say no one died? I'm like, none of our guys died. I know people in Venezuela die, but they die all the time. We don't pay attention to that. So let's act like that. Craig says, stop talking about science. The Earth's distance from the sun varies millions of miles constantly. Stop. No, no. But it varies differently. But that's the thing. It's on the same path. Yes. The distance from the sun is not what I was talking about. If it was 18ft closer. No matter where it is, we burn up. It's a crazy thing and. Shut up, Craig. I'm quoting Neil DeGrasse Tyson. He knows more than you. You're making a different argument. You're absolutely right. But your argument is not what I said. John, this is great.

[Brett Vesely]

We got two Brady reports today.

[John Holmberg]

Lo. Oh, I question it all now. It's going to be a couple of weeks before I kind of fall out of this pattern. But man, oh man, this whole. It's crazy. And Neil DeGrasse Tyson is someone. Just don't do it. Especially if you're kind of adult like me. Get back on porn. You know. You know, fault. This is Katie Hobbs. It's Katie Hopps fault. Because I. I used to just take my time and glad to watch some porn or something stupid. And now that I can't get on porn as easily, I don't go there because Katie Hopps wrecked it. And I go turn the VPN back on. And I go, ah. Who could stay hard through all this? And then my VPN sometimes just disconnects for no reason. And then that lady comes back on explaining we can't have porn in the state. We need to have a march. It's like turn it back on. Like who are you to say I can't watch this? Why is that not easy to get here? And I know you just click on the VPN and fix it, but why is it even a. It used to be better. Was it not better? Absolutely.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

You're messing with some rage.

[John Holmberg]

You're messing with loads of rage.

[Brett Vesely]

Loads.

[John Holmberg]

Literally incels. Yeah, loads and loads. You just took away the one thing that keeps a lot of people from doing bad stuff. And you made me crazy. I don't believe in the moon landing anymore. Don't get me started on 9 11. That stuff got a little loopy too. 911. I never really.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I saw a couple of things on that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's just out of control. Did you know 911 the flight 93 landed in Cleveland and was reported.

[Brett Vesely]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't even know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even go down that one.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Just stay the one that I didn't really.

[Brett Vesely]

John Nash.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Is the. The disappearance of a lot of the equipment on the flight that didn't get into that hit the Pentagon.

[John Holmberg]

No, there was never any of it. Yeah. No plane parts.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Like how do you remove something?

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to get into it.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

I know that was.

[John Holmberg]

It's been two weeks of me doing this garbage. Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

What that Is interesting.

[John Holmberg]

All I need to care about is that Tyler Luke missed that kick. U of A still sucks and the Ravens aren't in the playoffs. I need to focus. Focus on the real stuff. I'm wearing my Victory Monday shirt. And it's not because I've gone nuts, but please moon people. It doesn't mean I want to be your friend. Conspiracy loonies. I know I'm talking crazy, but it doesn't mean I want to be in your group. I'm actually kind of ashamed that I feel this way because it's gonna bring out them. Now I gotta deal with those people. Like, next event we have, he's talking about the movie. Some guy's gonna show up with documents and stuff. And next thing you know, I'm like, oh, boy, these people are talking to me.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody's sending me links now. You don't need a vpn. Go to good sexpod dot com. Here's another one. Super porn now dot com.

[John Holmberg]

But we shouldn't have to scramble. Point being, the government got involved somehow, right? There's legislation that said, slow this down and probably money related that we don't understand or don't know the truth, but Katie Hobbs and her peeps okayed it. And I don't know which side was pushing for this. I'm sure the Republicans were involved in it as well, but for some reason, Arizona's now it's a problem.

[Brett Vesely]

When's the next election?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, when we vote these people out and run on a platform of. We know that super Nintendo of schools. Shelly Boggs, she knows some people. Get over there and get porn turned back on. I go through three steps, you know, embarrassing, that is to thumb through, like VPNs and stuff like that with your pants half off.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's this year. November 3rd.

[John Holmberg]

That's our election. Well, we gotta bounce some people. And I know for a fact one of them would get a lot of male voters if he just said, and why is it so hard to get on porn in this state? That would be it. If you elect me, I'm gonna ice that. How's it my business what you're doing on your Internet and protecting kids? It's not our job. You do it. Your parents. If you can't keep your kid off porn. Look, it's always been, are you over 18? It still is. If your kid's smart enough to click that, you need to, you know, go through their phone every once in a while.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine the VPN donors for Katie Hobbs. Next election, though, man, the money's A good point blowing.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably true. Anyway, happy New Year, everybody. Brett, you didn't do anything. Toledo sat and did what I did.

[Brett Vesely]

Find super bowl tickets.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gonna do that. I don't even know. I don't even expect us to get out of round one. Don't care. Brady's out there bashing into Mexicans and that was it.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

We beat Michigan.

[John Holmberg]

You beat Michigan. Was that on the break? That was in Thanksgiving, though.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

No. Yeah, but that's basically, you know, you lose the playoff game against the year.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, sure. Yeah. College is a little different, though, because now you can, you know.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that over?

[John Holmberg]

You got. No, no.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Got the game in town here on Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Is it Thursday night? Is it Miami and Ole Miss?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

That's on the west side.

[John Holmberg]

Who cares? Well, Miami's gonna fit right in that place. Boy, that Michael Irvin's allowed to do whatever he wants on the sideline, isn't he?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

He and Ray. Ray.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

Or the white suit.

[John Holmberg]

Did he have the white suit on? Covered in blood? You got two massive criminals just standing there on the sideline and they're like, these are our finest representatives. It's Ray Lewis and Michael Irvin. Most colleges would frown on that. ASU never even talks about Barry Bonds. All that dude did was get big and hit home runs. These two. Michael Irvin, attempted murder, Ray Lewis, murder.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

We need perfect on the sidelines.

[John Holmberg]

They're. Yeah, they're running all over the place. Yeah. Burfict isn't allowed back at ASU because he was kind of a dick at La Fitness a couple times. And we don't need you. There's gonna drag out Scatterboo until he kills someone. Anyway. Let's get a wake up song, shall we, Brett? All right, go to it.

[Brett Vesely]

Wake up song time. And we got a bunch in the list here. Mud vein. Happy for John.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Korn got to life.

[John Holmberg]

Authority zero.

[Brett Vesely]

Mexican radio for Brady's car accident the other day.

[John Holmberg]

Was there tubas? Can we start 20, 26 by saying what no one said for the longest time? I'm going to start saying stuff that it's time. We're all thinking it and everybody's Mexicans. It should be a ticketable. I'm going to run on this this year. Election year. Porn should be easier. And it's a ticketable offense if I can hear Mexican music coming out of a car. If you're going to listen to that garbage and you're culturally, your music's horrible. We all know it. Not the you know, the love songs, the corazon, the tubas. And you know which ones I'm talking about. The. The weird tuba ones. If you're listening to that with your windows down, we can write a ticket for it immediately. And that's not culturally, because it can be a white person listening, but they don't. So it is a target of a. But it's awful. Country music, you're second. But that's gonna be a tougher sell. You can't listen to that stuff loud.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what's worse. Country music, you can understand how stupid it is. At least in country music, you're like.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what the hel talking about. Nobody some more chips and salsa listens to tuba solos except Mexicans and people at beer halls in September in Germany, that's the only time tubas show up and people are, like, excited about it. You got to turn it off. And I know to all of our Mexican listeners who have TIOs and TS and abuelas that have that on, you're laughing because you deep down know, good Lord, we gotta stop. Not all your cultural ideas are good. I'm Swedish. IKEA sucks. It's okay to say so. I mean, they sell a lot of stuff, but their products are built for people with apartments. It's not like in the nicest, finest homes. I can admit it. The food especially sucks. It's okay to say that some of your traditions aren't great. We're starting with Mexican music. That stuff's brutal, and you can like it, but at a volume that goes no higher than 10 on a modern stereo. If we can hear it outside your car, $285. It's like getting caught in the HOV lane and police. I'm looking for you to help out on this because I know you guys don't want to deal with it. That's on the 52nd Street. About three days ago, guys sitting next to me, I got my top off my car. I was decent enough to turn my. I was listening to Chicago Nice. So mine was. I turned mine to be embarrassed, so I turned it down. I don't want people to know until I'm moving through. You're a hard habit to bring. I believe that was. I just hit the thing after being without. That's being without you was the one that I was like, oh, hit the.

[Brett Vesely]

Satera Highs and everything too.

[John Holmberg]

And then I hit the button on the steering wheel and said, play Chicago and got the whole thing. And Saturday in the park and all that.

[Brett Vesely]

That's good.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, all right. Yeah, I know. Yeah. 26. And like, I'm into this. And that's what I pulled up at the light here at McDonald, fifth signature, and I turned it down a. I didn't want people to know. Yeah. Oh, man. Don't get me. Don't go on playing. I'm gonna do it again. Hey, Siri. But then the guy pulled up next. Tubas, turn it down. So I think Mexican music should be a ticket. This guy says, as a frijole chucker, I agree. Give them a ticket for that nonsense. Thanks for nothing. German. Signed Hector. Yeah, see Hector. Heck, I would need to be surrounded by Mexicans who hate that music as I try to pass this bill. I've talked to a lot of your people. I don't think anybody likes it. We're gonna get you a ticket for it now, and you're just begging to get in trouble.

[Brett Vesely]

So you want to get rid of the two T's, tubas, and tamales or what?

[John Holmberg]

I can't. I would personally get rid of tamales, but I can do that. That's the same thing as the porn. I'm not gonna ban tamales. It's not my business what you do with your own tamales. That's a. Right off the bat, a phrase that pays like, that's a T shirt. It's not my business what you do with your tamales. I have personally bantamali as the worst food in the Mexican food category. Kind of like Italians. It's time to start letting you guys know. Sambuca is disgusting. It's amazing, and nobody likes it. It's terrible.

[Brett Vesely]

Love it.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly named Brady or another regular)]

You crave it.

[John Holmberg]

French people drink a bottle of Oregon. Hey, French people. Enough with the butter. We just tell them, everybody what, you know, your cultures are. And by the way, those are bugs. Yeah. But we'll start with the Mexicans, and I'll work down the other ones. My bigoted equal opportunity. I'm gonna. I'm gonna knock them all out. Yeah, I'm gonna knock them out and build movie theaters for specific groups of people. I'll leave it there. Yeah, I think we should segregate movie theaters. And not because I don't like it. You can still go in the other one, but you know which one you're going. You're like, I understand what's going to happen in here. And you can't get mad at it, because really, what I'm doing is protecting the people who like to talk in movie theaters from the white people that go could you please keep it down because that's just going to end up in a fight if you go into one. You got to know and so we'll have and not even in bad neighborhoods like right next to and they should offer you that like smoking or not. I'd like to see Marty Fantastic. That's not what it's called but would you like that in a talking or non talking? I'll go to the white one. It's truth. He got my vote. Yeah I know we had no good movies out and 18 theaters per building you can show the same movie Marty Fantastic can show in two theaters at once. Talking or none. Now we all know what's gonna happen. I thought we had none talking. Well what is going on in here? Is Dave Chappelle gonna show up? This doesn't seem like the non talking theater might surprise you. Anyway go ahead bro.

[Brett Vesely]

What else we got? Back in the saddle from Aerosmith. For us our big return. Prison sex from Maduro stained Not again. For Lamar Bls funeral bell. Manson's Armageddon because it's Manson's birthday. I don't know From Ozzy for the Cardinals fans because they have no clue.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Suicidal Tendencies Can't Bring Me down for Trump. And System of a Down Violent Pornography for Katie Hobbs.

[John Holmberg]

That's not bad. Can't Bring Me down is a pretty solid one. Not only for Trump but for me. I don't care what happens today. I can't get. Can't get bothered Suicidal. Do a little suicidal tendency get. But Brett will be happy. Start the year off that way. You can't bring me down. Love it. Here's your wake up song everybody. It's 98.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Hey.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

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