01-05-26 - Researchers Have Determined That Junk That Is 3.6 Inches And Under Is Technically A Micro Penis

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – “Researchers Have Determined That Junk That Is 3.6 Inches And Under Is Technically A Micro Penis”

Date: January 5, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, others
Station: 98KUPD, Arizona

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Arizona's #1 morning radio show, Holmberg's Morning Sickness, John Holmberg and his crew tackle the recently published research designating any erect penis under 3.6 inches as a “micro penis.” True to their trademark irreverence and dark humor, the hosts explore the scientific, social, and wildly comic sides of this medical condition, complete with personal anecdotes, off-color jokes, and round-table hypotheticals. They also share the story of Michael Phillips, a man attempting to claim the Guinness World Record for “smallest healthy penis,” and discuss societal perceptions, personal coping strategies, and their own coping methods if faced with the same situation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Returning from the Holidays and Setting the Tone

• The show begins with hosts sharing post-holiday stories, poking fun at themselves for being out of practice after the break (01:18).
• John reminisces about doing art at a holiday get-together and the inevitability of “dick” doodles on group canvases (03:07).
• “Wieners were on it at the end.” – Brett Vesely ([04:21])

2. The Medical Definition of Micro Penis

• Brady introduces news about the specific threshold—3.6 inches or under, erect—for the medical condition (05:02).
  • “3.6 inches is the official designation of micro penis. Erect.” – John Holmberg ([05:32])
• The hosts use fingers and cell phones to humorously estimate sizes and compare (05:56–06:18):
  • “If I put [my phone] on top of my erection and there’s still some top showing, we’re all right.” – John Holmberg ([06:12])
• They liken marginally surpassing this threshold to “being a midget and just squeaking over four feet” (06:37).

3. Coping with Being “Below the Line”

• The crew laughs about how knowing the specific cutoff adds a new insecurity; what if you’re 3.7 inches–are you “safe” or just in a different worry class?
  • “The problem is, 3.6 is bad, 3.7, 3.8 is not good.” – John Holmberg ([07:26])
• The group speculate how they’d personally handle having a micro penis, leaning into comedic self-deprecation:
  • “If you’re 3.6, you already know. It’s not like we needed the official word for it.” – Brett Vesely ([07:36])

4. The Michael Phillips Story — The Real-Life “Smallest”

• Michael Phillips from North Carolina, age 36, went public as a possible record-holder for the world’s smallest healthy adult penis—a little over one inch (07:45–10:00).
  • “His was just a little bit more than an inch... Calls Guinness and says, ‘I think I have the smallest penis for a healthy man in the world.’” – John Holmberg ([07:45])
  • “He’s like, look, I’ve had a couple relationships. I’m technically still a virgin, because, well, of course there’s no going in.” – John Holmberg ([10:48])
• The crew wonders if Guinness has an official process for measuring or awarding this title.
  • “Surprisingly, the ladies who say size doesn’t matter, this guy’s still alone. So I think that pretty much negates that argument.” – John Holmberg ([08:26])
• Michael leans into self-acceptance, even wearing a “Big Dick Energy” shirt and finding humor in his condition.

5. Coping, Humor, and Social Commentary

• The hosts debate whether it’s better to own the condition and use self-deprecating humor or quietly suffer (or worse).
  • “If I had one that was less, like an inch, I think I would do this. Like, well, let’s just make this fun.” – John Holmberg ([08:57])
  • “I’d end it.” – Brett Vesely ([08:56])
  • “You can diddle it and like, show people...I would show people, I’d walk around with it out...As long as I’m shaved, I look like a Ken doll.” – John Holmberg ([09:03])
  • “Indecent exposure would be hilarious because what’s indecent about it? It’s actually adorable.” – John Holmberg ([10:27])
• The group discusses the public stigma and rare upside (“You’ve got the biggest micro penis in the world.”), proposing that someone at the upper end of the micro range could spin it positively (12:28–12:50).

6. Physiology and Society’s Cruelty

• John shares how Michael Phillips’ dating life was filled with cruel reactions; many people—especially women—were unsympathetic or outright mean.
  • “I had a date with a girl and she wanted to see it. And I told her, look, it’s remarkably small...She laughed. And I already told her it was remarkably small and she found it hysterical. And then she stopped talking to me.” – John Holmberg ([13:19])
• The group moves into dark (but characteristic) humor about female anatomy and hypothetical “what would you do” scenarios (14:05–14:47).

7. Wrapping Up: Support and Perspective

• The hosts try to inject empathy and perspective:
  • “If you’ve got a micro penis, I apologize. I’m not making fun of you. I know you’re going through a lot. I’m trying to help you. At least you’re not that guy at one inch or top. That’s brutal.” – John Holmberg ([15:12])
• They joke that for those barely above the threshold, a silver lining is: “I’ve got the biggest micro penis in the world!” ([12:28])
• John reminds listeners that perspective matters—someone has it worse, and making light of your situation can be helpful.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “3.6 inches is the official designation of micro penis. Erect.” – John Holmberg ([05:32])
• “If I put on top of my erection and there’s still some top showing, I’m like, we’re all right.” – John Holmberg ([06:12])
• “If you’re 3.6, you already know. It’s not like we needed the official word for it.” – Brett Vesely ([07:36])
• “His was just a little bit more than an inch... Calls Guinness and says, ‘I think I have the smallest penis for a healthy man in the world.’” – John Holmberg ([07:45])
• “Surprisingly, the ladies who say size doesn’t matter, this guy’s still alone. So I think that pretty much negates that argument.” – John Holmberg ([08:26])
• “I’d end it.” – Brett Vesely ([08:56])
• “Indecent exposure would be hilarious because what’s indecent about it? It’s actually adorable.” – John Holmberg ([10:27])
• “I had a date with a girl and she wanted to see it. And I told her, look, it’s remarkably small...She laughed.” – John Holmberg ([13:19])
• “You’ve got the biggest micro penis in the world.” – John Holmberg ([12:28])

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Segment Timestamps

• [03:07] – Christmas/holiday painting parties devolving into penis doodles
• [05:02] – Official introduction of micro penis topic and discussion of “the line”
• [05:32–06:18] – Group’s humorous attempts to estimate size using their fingers and phones
• [07:45–10:00] – Michael Phillips, the man with a sub–1.5-inch penis and his story
• [10:27–12:50] – Taking ownership via humor and what “indecent exposure” would mean
• [13:19] – Michael’s dating life and women’s reactions
• [14:05–15:47] – Philosophical hypotheticals and further banter
• [15:12] – Empathetic closing thoughts—perspective and positivity

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Overall Episode Tone & Style

Maintaining their established blend of irreverence, self-mocking humor, and real-talk, the Holmberg crew uses this episode to break societal taboos about male insecurity, supplementing medical facts with comedic hypotheticals. They balance crude jokes with genuine moments of empathy, subtly advocating for self-acceptance, even in the face of relentless societal judgment. Their humor is brisk, occasionally sensitive, and unapologetically candid throughout.

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For full episodes and more, visit 98kupd.com.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holberg]

Hey everybody, it's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost Our Home Pet Rescue and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at losterhome is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situation. Look him up online lostorhome.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter sections.

[Converg]

Converg's Morning sickness.

[John Holberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brett Vesely]

He's evil sitting right here. Come on.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

No, no, he's not evil.

[John Holberg]

He's just a bit rude. 98 a year of pity. It's the first day back for most all of us doing our thing. I pretty much forgotten how everything works around here. This is not like riding a bike. I know where the buttons are. I did come in on the break and do a couple on the show on New Year's Eve with my friend Adam Ray and then had a lovely get together with Adam after the Suns game over at Copper Blues, which was a lot of fun. But Adam came in here and did a couple hours on New Year's Eve and I was shocked how many of you people had to work on New Year's Eve because driving in there was absolutely no emails exploded, did they? Yeah, yeah, it was cool. And a lot of people I think it was like a. It's like a pop up store. Now I know how Guy Fieri Feels when he puts one of his garbage restaurants just in a parking lot and people just flood it.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

And it's a week late, but yes, it will be up on podcast.

[John Holberg]

Oh, is it?

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

I wasn't in.

[John Holberg]

Don't even bother. That's work. I want to apologize also for over the break, that whole 24 hours of homework thing. They keep saying with my idea, but I was clearly joking. That's a lot. And I want to apologize because yesterday, while I watched the Cardinal Game and realized that there was no local advertising sold, and that commercial I'm on with Doug Hopkins ran a lot. That's too much.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Me, you and your dad were having a good time.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, man. Pops Hopkins. Old Pops Hopkins. Love him. Pops Hopkins. Lovely old Pops Hopkins. I went to Doug's for Christmas. He does a thing at his house. I guess his. Somebody used to do it. Now he took it over. But you take a Bob Ross show off of the YouTube and you do the painting. It was kind of fun. Yeah, it was kind of neat there, like 20 of us there. It was pretty good. It was pretty great. Out to Doug's house, you do your normal.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Like you did with the wine painting.

[John Holberg]

Well, if I don't like.

[Converg]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

If I don't like the way it's going, I usually just black it out. Which Dina down there at the painter's lounge was always very upset because I'd be going, and I'm like, well, this is terrible.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

She goes, that's okay.

[John Holberg]

I'm like, it isn't okay for you, maybe. Not me. So I just take black, and I just make the whole thing a black. So at the end, when the class holds up their art, I'm just standing there with this weird, dark murderer's canvas. At Doug's, I started to paint, and it was Bob Ross's son was painting in this one. Bob was just talking about the stuff, and we're all going and hanging out and doing well. Megan had a good one. Aaron was there. He painted well. And there's a couple other people that did good. And then I'm going. And in the middle of making the trees, the happy little trees, and I realized that, well, it's got it. There's no, like, ground here. And then Bob adds ground with a brush I didn't have. So I tried to manufacture ground just so then I just painted a dick on it. And the clouds became Merry Christmas. Yeah. I was like, screw this. And then we all posed with. Was fun, though. It was really neat.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Christmas party in our neighborhood that we went to. They Put up a canvas like that and wanted everybody that came to the Christmas party just add a little something to it. I'm like, that's a bad idea. There's gonna be like nine dicks.

[John Holberg]

Wieners.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, wieners were on it at the end.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

None. Because this one guy came up and painted the most beautiful cactus we'd ever seen. And nobody.

[John Holberg]

Nobody's gonna do anything after that. Gonna touch that and put a dick on it. Yeah, I'd have painted it.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Apparently, that happened a couple years ago.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, I would have done that. I would have put boobs on the. On the beautiful cactus because I'm great.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Oh, by the way, the boob and dick lasers went over really elephant.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, the thick lasers are a great gift, and they're just great to play with. I want to take one to a son's game, but I think I'd get kicked out.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holberg]

But I'll try. I'm gonna hit Kevin Ray in the head with it while he's on tv.

[Brett Vesely]

Or bring it to a Mercury game.

[John Holberg]

Chambers.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

In the pregame. No, Tom's too big.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Okay.

[John Holberg]

He can't catch me. But if he did, I'll do. I'll give it to Kevin. And then I saw this story, which Brady brought up some Guinness World stuff. This was a thing where I kind of wondered what I would do if I had this affliction. We'll get into it. Micro penis. The official designation of micro penis. And this is going to hurt a couple guys. So if you're on the freeway right now, look out. You might get pit stopped by a dude who's about to end it. 3.6 inches is the official designation of micro penis erect.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Seen a couple of those in breath videos.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, there's a few. We'll see. 3.6 inches erect. Right. So that's not. That's bad. That's rough to be a guy with one. But you kind of probably keep that under. Everybody's doing the math. And his little fingers over. That's about. Yeah, you're about. You're right. About three inches right there. Three and a half inches. That's. That's four or five. Well, that's not five.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Size of a finger.

[John Holberg]

Maybe we're holding it up.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

Yeah, there you go. Toledo's index finger.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

You're just a little too long, Jen. You got long fingers.

[John Holberg]

I don't really like an average hand.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Get your phone out. Didn't you use to measure things with your.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but I only know that that's 7 inches. So if I poke out of the top of it, I'm still good.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Well then half. Half your phone is three.

[John Holberg]

If I put on top of my erection and there's still some top show and I'm like, we're all right.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

All right.

[John Holberg]

That's some top is showing and we're all good there. It's not 3 6, but. Yeah, yeah, that's about. If your phone's about 7 inches, it's about half a phone. A little more than half a phone. Yeah, it's about.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

You got long fingers.

[John Holberg]

I'm a little past the Apple either way. 3.6. Right. So if you're hanging in that area, you've got the micropenis. And I.

[Brett Vesely]

If I was 3 5, it's like.

[John Holberg]

Being a midget, which you're not allowed to say, but under four feet is midget. Like if you're four feet, you're not, but you are. Right.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

What's the. Didn't you ask Brad this? What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf? Isn't there a designation? Isn't there?

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah. They get different hands and heads. One has goofy hands and one has like human hands. Gotcha. Anyway, so I thought you suggest Brett that. Why would I ever go to Brett for that? Brad Williams is who you're talking about. So if I had a 3.5 or. Or even a 3. 7. If you're 3 7, you're not out of the woods. You're just not in the micro category. But I wouldn't probably make it.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Isn't it like you wanting to be.

[John Holberg]

I got one of those. It's got a real small regular dick.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Isn't it like you want to be you, you, you got there. So as long as he's not at 3 6, he's.

[John Holberg]

Well, look, the problem is 36 is bad. 3 7, 38 is not good.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Right.

[John Holberg]

But they put a line on it. 36 is where micro penis kind of begins and then lessens from there. Right.

[Brett Vesely]

If you're 3 6, you already know. It's not like we needed the official.

[John Holberg]

Word for it, but if you're 3 7, you're not measuring.

[Brett Vesely]

You haven't hung yourself anyway. And you're not.

[John Holberg]

There's nothing hung about. So this dude in Carolina, North Carolina, realized that 3.6 inches was nothing like nowhere near what he had erect. His was just a little bit more than an inch. Now get your fingers up and start doing that math. Right, Right. So he's so small, he's now 36 years old that he's like you know what? Let's make some lemonade. Calls Guinness and says, I think I have the smallest penis for a healthy man in the world.

[Brett Vesely]

Did they interview his wife with this too?

[John Holberg]

Surprisingly, Brett, that's a gutsy call. No rings. No. Yeah, no rings. Surprisingly, the ladies who say size doesn't matter, this guy's still alone. So I think that pretty much negates that argument because size doesn't matter. But if you're an inch erect, it matters anyway. But if I had one that was less like an inch, I think I would do this. Like, well, let's. Let's just make this fun. Three, six. You're still like. It's like an inch.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd end it.

[John Holberg]

You would? At an inch? I think I'd have fun with it.

[Brett Vesely]

Nah.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

What?

[Byron]

No.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

What fun?

[John Holberg]

Three, six.

[Brett Vesely]

What fun you gonna have?

[John Holberg]

You can diddle it and, like, show people.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Get a hundred thousand followers.

[John Holberg]

I would show people. I'd walk around with it out. Like, I can. I can do this all day. No one would display. Yeah, nobody's ever gonna get mad at me. It's like, as long as I'm shaved, I look like a Kendall. Like, I would.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

We can see your nipple.

[John Holberg]

Something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] hey, it's Larry McFeely.

[Larry McFeely]

And what kick off the new year than with a brand new Toyota from your valley Toyota dealers? New year, new goals, new adventures, and a new Toyota is the perfect way to get you there, whether you're tackling your commute, heading out on weekend road trips, or just wanting something more reliable for the year ahead. Toyota has the model to fit your lifestyle, so make this the year you drive smarter, safer, and happier. Visit your valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota lets go places.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your fire.

[John Holberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness, like, indecent exposure would be hilarious because it's what's indecent about it. It's actually adorable. So, yeah, so he's got this. So he's calling. He's calling him. He's like, I think. And Guinness won't, like, take his. Like, they won't do it. He wears a shirt that says Big Dick Energy. He's actually making. His name is Michael Phillips. And he's like, look, I've had a couple relationships. I'm technically still a virgin because, well, of course there's no going in. He's just rubbing it against us.

[Brett Vesely]

He had a couple relationships with who?

[John Holberg]

Girls that were like, it doesn't matter to me. Tell them. They're like, I just don't think this is working out.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

It's not you, it's me.

[Brett Vesely]

No, actually, it is you.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, no, it's 100% you. It's not you.

[Brett Vesely]

It's your.

[John Holberg]

It's your wiener. It's your baby wiener. So, yeah, so he's like, look, I'm not gonna make anybody happy with this, so I might as well just bring happiness with it. And I'm like, that's pretty good. Because like, most people, Brett says, I think, you know, off yourself. Oh, yeah. A 3.6, it's gonna lead to a lot of anger, but one inch, hilarious. So you were born with a prop, a joke prop, and one inch would be awesome. So he said, I wonder, you know.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

If that's, you know, the penis part. What's the bag?

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

What if it's all bag?

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

Like, yeah, it's a full size bag and you got the button.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Giant bag.

[John Holberg]

And that's when it's. But he said it doesn't change much erect from like, the size is pretty much always around an inch. That's what I do with my. Yeah. So he's out there if you want to look him up. But he said, I think the biggest misconception is if a guy has a small penis, then he just has a small penis. And there may be a medical thing going on. More people need to be aware that there is a medical condition, and it's called micro penis, but it's on effect, like, you don't have, like, any other problems. He said, I'm telling people this because it probably makes the 3.6 inch guys feel great. Yeah, I got a micro penis, but I got the biggest one.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Right. I see where you're.

[John Holberg]

See what's going on there. If you're 3.6 inch micro penis. You have the biggest. You have a huge micro penis. So I guess that is the silver lining of it. So if you're driving around right now and you're like, yeah, three, five. That's a big micro penis. If you're two inches, you're like a minute medium micropenia. It's not good.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Guy says, I think the rules should be that if China or any lady with a bigger button than you.

[John Holberg]

Well, no, they can't count because some ladies do. China, that one. Not the country. Yeah, it doesn't count. They're still lady bits. He's a man. Looks a man, has all the parts of a man, everything else, and I think it's good for him. I think that's nice. I think you go out and you say, hey, I'm gonna. I'm gonna make some lemonade out of this. Instead of being miserable like Brett would.

[Brett Vesely]

Be, I'm just gonna go buy him a gift card for Home Depot so he could buy some rope.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And look, I don't think he's 36 and he's just now coming out with it. Whatever. He's been to high school. Wasn't easy. He said he had. In the middle of the thing, he said, I had a date with a girl and she wanted to see it. And I told her, look, it's remarkably small. And he said, and I took my pants off. And she laughed. And I already told her it was remarkably small and she found it hysterical. And he goes, and then she stopped talking to me. So every women were really mean to him about it. I think you have to do. You have to treat it. Remember those acid tab pads like kids had? You have to lick it. If you're a woman who's like, take off your pants and let me see your micro penis, you have to finish that dude off or he's gonna kill someone.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

John, it begs the question, if at gunpoint, your life depended on it, you had to blow one of two Wangs, would you blow the 10 incher or the one incher?

[John Holberg]

My nose is too big to blow the one inch. I'd break my nose.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

You could do it with a nose?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, I could probably snort it. What are you doing? I told you it was gonna be good. But I mean, the jokes would be right. Yeah, it's only one inch, but it's really thick. Like you could have a lot. Like, the guy could have some fun with it. 3.6 inch, guys, I feel for you, but just know it could have been worse. And you've got the biggest micro penis in the world. Brady's mom just called Michael Phillips and says he should read have and have not have yacht. He's in the have yacht department. Anyway, if you've got a micro penis, I apologize. I'm sorry. I'm not making fun of you. I know you're going through a lot. I'm trying to help you. At least you're not that guy at one inch or top that brutal. Or. Yeah. If you're a dude out there going, oh, really? You think you've got. I'd go for it. I've got the smallest penis in the world. At least it makes you unique to a point where you can probably make money off of it.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

John, what are the odds that micropenis guy is also now doing dry January? He's got nothing else to live for.

[John Holberg]

Every girl he's ever been with is dry January, dry February, dry March, Just dry. But. Or go become a woman.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe get a half off.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Because the surgery's half done already. They just have to turn the bag inside out, clean it up, make that shallow hole and go.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

You probably don't have to transition.

[John Holberg]

No, the lady button's right there. Just inside out it. Either way. Just wanted to introduce you guys to Michael Phillips as we start the new year. And you think, man, my life's not going the way I want. I gotta make some changes. Michael Phillips is 36, which by the way, is 21 years longer than I thought he would last. Having read it, I'm like, well, this. What is he, like six? Because they also say they can diagnose it at birth. They know when you've got micro penis at birth. And I don't know how many doctors do that. They just let it go.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine being that that dad and the doctor comes in and diagnoses that. What do you do?

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

Dad might have been hoping. I hope he doesn't get what I have.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's true too.

[John Holberg]

He still made a baby with his though, so.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

And that would be. Son, you still can make babies.

[John Holberg]

I did it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

If I can do it.

[Brett Vesely]

Thanks, dad.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say a one incher can't make babies. Sperm can't swim that far.

[Brett Vesely]

Gotta be tough.

[John Holberg]

That's gotta be a tough one. Yeah. Just have. Just. You know what? Micro penis. Guys, it's okay. You're the. You're still bigger than Michael Phillips. Not men. Say it like, say it fast so it sounds like you're bigger. Mine's Bigger than Michael Phelps. And people think of the Olympian. That's good. So what I hear, that's what I hear. It's Phillips and Phelps. It's different. But you're bigger. I'm bigger than Michael Phillips a lot.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

John, women are already tough enough to deal with. Give the guy a 3 inch peen and then he's got to deal with that negativity on top of how they already are.

[John Holberg]

All right. This guy's having a tough man.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Yeah, he is.

[John Holberg]

He's all right, you know, Stop yelling about your wife through other women. That was a lot of projecting in that email. It's 901. We got what would Brady do? And we already discovered what we would. What would you do if you had a one incher? Would you make jokes or would you end it?

[Unidentified Female Co-host]

I don't think I'd call the Guinness World Record.

[John Holberg]

You don't think you'd make it? I think I'd make light of it. I'd have to. It has to be acknowledged that one inch.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

But what if the like what John said, what if the call and you find out you're just mid 1 inch, you're not anywhere, you're not close.

[John Holberg]

But that might make me feel better.

[Larry McFeely]

Really?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Because I'd be like, oh, jeez, this isn't as small as it could have been. I still. I don't know. I'm keeping it quiet. If it's like visible. If it's three inches, I'm like, oh, no, it's kind of one. But at one inch, I might start making jokes and showing you guys. You guys got to see this. And then you just. It would just be funny, John. Stick is so little. And then. But it would be real, so it wouldn't really hurt my feelings.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

I'm sure it's cliche, John, but a friend once told me that in mid intercourse, she told a guy to get off her because he was so small she couldn't feel anything.

[John Holberg]

She's just rude.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

What a.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

At least just come on.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, maybe she's a canyon. You don't know that. I mean, it works both ways. What would Brady do? Is coming up next. It's 98.

[Unidentified Male Co-host]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Converg]

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