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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Brady
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute dot com.
Unknown
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brady
He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Idiots. It's disturbed right there. Got a concert with them coming up here pretty darn soon, if I'm not mistaken. Am I wrong? That one's coming up here. All the. All the signs are up at Footprints. That's why I know. Aren't they. Aren't they here?
Toledo
Yeah. It's like the 25th anniversary of the 6th.
Brady
In May. I thought it was in March. It's in May. Yeah. Those signs are up down at the Footprint center, and they're pretty cool. So they're right around the corner. They see disturbed come by here and do the entire sickness. The 25th anniversary. Oh, my God. And again, I can't do this because I'm a little bit of a savant, a little bit autistic with this 25 years ago, when down with the Sickness came out. That time has passed. If you were celebrating a 25th anniversary in 1990 or in the year 2000. You're going back to 1975's music, which is now 50 years, which we talked about earlier today would have been AC DC and Zeppelin ZZ Top. Yeah. 25 years from 75 to 2000 feels like an eternity compared to the 25 from 2000 to now. It's a retrospective year because it's got born to run.
Unknown
Springsteen.
Brady
Springsteen was. That's. That's 50 years old today. Well, yuck. Although that's one of the songs of his. I do like the rest of his crap is. Anyway. All right, Brady, are you Hooters isn't isn't back with us this year. So say thanks if I don't know. That's not on my list right now, so I don't know if Hooters is. I know they're not today.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Brady
We love you, Hooters. Did somebody drop the ball down in sales? Normally I say it's brought to you by Hooters. I'll say it. I don't mean it today. But there's no sponsor, so I'm just gonna go with the guys who did it before somebody. It's the first of the year, so somebody dropped. There's a lot of stuff that we're going to be picking up pieces on trying to figure out when does that of the new year. It's not. So just a thanks for all those years before Hooters. If our salesperson screwed this up, I'm sorry, Hooters. We didn't mean to. We certainly hope we still like you. Who's the sales guy who's got Hooters?
Toledo
It's Jen, isn't it?
Brady
Is it?
Unknown
Yes.
Brady
All right, let's get her down there. Chop, chop.
Toledo
Maybe we should make a deal that Brady gets in the calendar for change this year.
Brady
Maybe that's what then. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why they're still in negotiations. Now we're digging our heels in on Brady being in that calendar for 2026. Anyway, it's time for the Brady report. All the news that only Brady knows and Brady reported.
Unknown
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Happy divorce day.
Brady
Oh, are we done?
Unknown
It's divorce day. The number one day of the year for breakups.
Brady
January 6th.
Toledo
What a waste.
Unknown
The first working Monday of 2025.
Brady
So you just spent two weeks with your beloved and money and time and.
Toledo
All that crap around the holidays with them family.
Brady
Screw that.
Unknown
So basically started the stats show that A study in 2020 found Google searches for things like quickie divorce more than double Every January, it's your.
Brady
You're kicking your new Year off. New. How about that? I guess that makes sense. You waited too long. You had to tolerate the holidays, the family. You didn't want to drop this bomb on your old parents or the kids. So you wait until after Christmas, and.
Unknown
If you're still together, things are good. It's national. Take down your Christmas tree day.
Brady
Wow. I got that done. So this was great about Christmas happening on a Wednesday. I had a couple days in there to just mop up Christmas. It was fast. So all over. I'm with Brad on that one. If you're going to pull the trigger.
Michael
Yeah.
Toledo
Just do it.
Brady
I mean, should have done it.
Toledo
Why waste the money and time over the holidays?
Brady
Kids be damned.
Toledo
Yeah, screw.
Brady
Mom and dad aren't together. Here's your prizes. But I guess January is one of those resets.
Toledo
Yeah, but that's the same with everything. Going to the gym, I'm losing weight. I'm quitting smoking. I'm, you know, quitting drinking.
Brady
Why not start in December, right? Yeah, I'm with you on that. You should have gotten rid of that two months ago.
Toledo
Damn right.
Brady
I'm not talking about women. I'm talking to you ladies, too. You get rid of that fellow you don't like. All right, well, we're probably all going to go home to news. You were right. I know you're not wrong.
Unknown
A couple of basic fun facts. 19 of the 20 most common surnames in Mexico end in either an S or an a Z. The only outlier is Garcia, which is second most popular last name, by the way.
Brady
Congratulations to Mexico. The world just named it second most violent country on the planet. And we're talking about Africa. Ukraine. You're the second worst one. I won't hear any good news about Mexico. I don't. I don't like when people. That's a dump.
Unknown
There's a lot less fans of Rocky Point over the past few months on that highway down there.
Brady
Why would you go to that place? Yeah, I'm a. I'm a. I'm a staunch believer that we need to badmouth Mexico, not Mexicans. And they always confuse the two. There's a reason you're here listening to.
Unknown
US country, not the people.
Brady
Yeah, your country's a disaster.
Unknown
Cheerios were called Cheerios when they debuted in 1941. The name changed in 1945. The most common name for counties in the US is Washington county with 31. Jefferson county is second with 26.
Hazard county in there.
Toledo
Oh, man, that'd be cool.
Brady
It needs to be. We need a Hazard county here in Arizona.
Unknown
Yeah, we do.
Brady
It needs to be. Pinal needs to change its name to Hazard because it's Apache Junction and Casa Grande.
Unknown
And just divvy it up. We've only got, like, what, 15 counties in the whole state.
Brady
I don't know how that works. You go back east, there's like a thousand.
Unknown
Montana's got 56.
Brady
Yeah. And then 88. Yeah. It's crazy. Ohio's divided up. Yeah. It's nonstop. But just change Pinal to Hazard. I guarantee you this. The day they announced that Pinal county changes to Hazard County, 14 people died trying to jump their cars. Guaranteed. Just on the pure notice that we're now Hazard county, half of Apache Junction. Jumpstart.
Unknown
Are you including Florence in there?
Brady
Are they in Pinal?
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
Okay. Whatever's in there now fits Hazard county better than anywhere else. But I guarantee you, every city in the newly minted Hazard county has at least three deaths from car jumping.
Unknown
Kearney and Superior might be in there.
Brady
Are they in Pinal?
Unknown
I think so.
Toledo
All right, here we go. I'll pull it up here.
Brady
Yeah, because that is a. That is a place.
Unknown
I didn't know AJ was Pinal.
Brady
Oh, yeah, you didn't.
Unknown
Oh, yeah. When you cross over ironwood road.
Brady
Yeah. AJ's a different county. Yeah, right there.
Toledo
Valley.
Brady
Fight it. Santan Valley's in Pinal County. Just missing Queen Creek. Yeah, you would definitely Sackatone. Oh, this is. This is a bunch of crap. Any hard jumping out there? How have we not changed? Eloy, of course. Skydive Arizona's in. This is Murano or whatever. Murana. Yeah, that's you. Tell me I'm wrong on that. Like, hey, guys, by the way, your new county name. Hazard. You would just hear a collective wahoo and they just leap their cars.
Toledo
Imagine how much Krylon Orange spray paint would be sold the first day.
Brady
First day.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
It would be an economic Duke's Orange. Yeah, it would be Duke's Orange. And we'll paint it for you. Like, oh, yeah. I'd open an Earl Shive the next day and paint all the cars orange and just watch them flying through the air and hillbillies losing their last tooth smashing into the steering wheel.
Toledo
Amazon be out of Dixie horns for sale for your car.
Brady
Did you hear they changed the name of our county to Hazard? You're not going to jump it, are you? Well, we have to. Hallberg's morning silver morning sickness.
Unknown
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Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry?
Wayne
Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.
Unknown
Nice.
Larry McFeely
Is that a big deal to get done?
Wayne
Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.
Unknown
That's awesome.
Brady
I'll say.
Wayne
We're Amco.
Larry McFeely
Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.
Diane Fisher
Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 Emmeclintock, Fisher Tools has been building the Valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also online@fishertools.com CUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools if we don't have it, we can't sell it.
Michael
This is Michael with Restore Lower My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today.
Brady
Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Unknown
We had some New Year's Eve fallout. This Zambian police officer got a little drunk at work, and he freed more than a dozen prisoners to celebrate New Year's. Gave him a chance. Hey, go out, celebrate and come back.
Brady
Sure.
Unknown
None of them returned.
Brady
What? Hopefully they were eaten by lions.
Unknown
Most of them were fish.
Brady
You can actually buy the Dixie horn.
Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Unknown
That's a thing easy to install, John. Only 39.99, that is.
Brady
By the way, I'm looking at that. For me, that is not easy to install. First off, I don't even know where to put it.
Unknown
It comes with. Is that right? Do they all come with, like, five horns?
Brady
Well, that's gonna play the different.
Toledo
Yeah.
Unknown
Oh, my God.
Brady
Yeah. It's not a recorder, looks like.
Toledo
So that's gotta go to the thing. Maybe it's got the. The video there at the bottom.
Unknown
Yeah. On top of the truck.
Toledo
Maybe we can hear it.
Brady
Gotta go under.
Unknown
Oh, hang on.
Brady
Oh, that's. I don't know what you're playing. Yeah, I'd fire that last seal. Wait a minute. One of those seals is toned down.
Unknown
A little low on power.
All right, let me see.
Brady
How much is that knockoff? It's only 40 bucks.
Toledo
What do we get for 50 bucks?
Brady
Give me the red horns. Yeah. Spend a little money, Toledo. It's a new year.
Unknown
Come on now.
Oh, yeah.
Brady
This one's gonna blow your mind. Oh, wow. That's the cholo horn. What are you doing food trucks there? Yeah. That's gonna get you stabbed, Sheena.
Toledo
Truck pulling in.
Brady
Yeah. You know, the food truck can have that. Does that have. No, I'm not. I'm not putting that in the Jeep. That's appropriation. There's no way.
Toledo
Does it come with lasers and stuff to go on. Right.
Brady
That, like pine just shows up at your house and goes, I'm taking your car. Where's the good one? Where's the one that plays Dixie for the brand new Hazard?
Toledo
Did Dan Homberg hear that?
Unknown
That looks like it's funny.
Brady
If you honk that horn, my sister actually comes outside for dinner. She knows she's gonna eat free. It's like a trigger for her. It's like. Just honk it and watch. There's a blonde lady that can't stop following waifus roteros. Yeah. You don't have any of the Dixie ones. There's the bottom Dixie right there. Back. These guys in there. God damn it. I hate when I don't. That's the same one. Go back a page. And that one down on the right there, that says Dixie horn, doesn't it?
Unknown
37.
They all say Dixie.
Brady
Well, this one's 37.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
Okay, let's hook this bit. Well, this looks complicated as hell. It's got hoses.
Unknown
It's gonna be the same thing. It's.
Brady
Yeah. Midway through, it goes a little Natalia Grace on. Yeah. Kind of limps around. It's that.
Unknown
Yes.
The middle one.
Brady
And it's not even doing the last note.
Unknown
Maybe it's a light one horn.
Brady
Yeah, it sounds like we're down a horn.
Toledo
What's the most expensive one we got? I think we're cheap.
Brady
Get me over a hundred bucks for this one.
Unknown
The most expensive was like, there you go.
Brady
There you go. That's 96 bucks. And it comes with an old one, comes with a general leaf flag.
Unknown
It doesn't have a video.
Brady
It doesn't need a video. You know, that's a good one. That one's 99 and it's got the flag.
Unknown
That's the same thing. Same drop shipper.
Brady
Yeah, they say that's easy to install, but I'm seeing a lot of parts.
Unknown
How about the 884? Does that give a little. It's chrome.
Brady
Save 12 bucks.
Unknown
No, it doesn't have a video.
Toledo
Anyway, just call Wayne and Amco. You could probably install it for you.
Brady
This is all of us.
Unknown
Oh, there you go.
Toledo
He can have that installed.
Brady
I got no problem. Shane Orlando.
Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brady
I don't want to necessarily waste his time now. I don't want to waste Wayne's time either, but it seems like Wayne might like it. And Wayne might laugh with you on that one. Shane would be like, you're devaluing your vehicle.
Unknown
Wayne might have one on one of these.
Brady
Wayne's probably got one. Yeah. Wayne's got a lot of toys.
Unknown
How does Shane not have one?
Brady
He probably does. He just keeps it quiet.
Toledo
And Karen, Brian's got one.
Brady
You know what he would have? No. He and Eric Brian both would have train horn. Oh, mean head. Yeah, all three of those guys would have the train horn. None of them would have the Dixie horn. Every one of them would have that thing.
Unknown
Police in Southern California pulled over a swerving driver 12:40am Last Wednesday, New Year's Eve. The man told the police he was dropping off his friends because he was the DUI tonight. And the officer on the video says, do you mean you're the dd?
Brady
Yeah.
Unknown
And he said, no, I'm the dui.
Brady
You heard me. I'm taking the heat.
Unknown
And they made him walk, and he was a mess.
Brady
That's not good. That's not good.
Unknown
Luckily, his friends got home. She brought the dude in the Waymo.
Brady
Yeah.
Unknown
Kept going in circles.
Brady
Yeah. Around the airport.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
And he kept hitting stop, ride, stop, ride. And it wouldn't. And he missed his 10 circles in a row. And then the. The guy, the Kevin that talked to me about seat belts gets on and goes, don't worry. We have it all figured out. The good news is you're not going to hit anything. It's just not stopping. And you know what's crazy? It's for every 20,000 Waymo rides, one goes around the airport too many times, and everybody's like, I don't trust them. I still trust him more than I trust a cabbie. Like packing that thing full of explosives and doing something crazy. I know. I trust Waymos more than I trust the human mind. I don't want to catch a cab driver or an Uber driver on a bad day. You know what I don't have to do? Worry about the Uber driver turning with a gun and putting it in my face and taking me wherever he wants to go. With Waymo, I'm never going to get raped or assaulted by a Waymo.
Unknown
And if they want to get. They want you to get out of the car. Like, if you're out of hand, the car just stops, Right.
Brady
You can hit a button that says, stop, ride, or pull over.
Unknown
But if they. They can.
Brady
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unknown
How soon does it do it, though?
Brady
But if the car's malfunctioning.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
Which this one was. They have to program it to stop because it got screwed up. It wasn't listening to any of the stuff. It was just driving around like, I'm in the area, and I don't know what to do.
Unknown
Did you say it has, like, an ejection seat? Like, they can. They can bump you out of it?
Brady
No, no, they just stop. Okay, well, you don't know that. They don't, though.
Unknown
Exactly.
Brady
Now, Toledo makes a strong point because I've been in a lot of ways.
Unknown
You said they can kick you out.
Brady
And there's no reason for them to have the giant roof that they've got that's like a retractable dome. Those jags they have them in all have. So I'm not saying they don't have an ejector seat. I'm saying they haven't used it yet.
Unknown
That's it.
It's a compactor.
Brady
Kills you.
Unknown
U. S. News and World Report put out its annual list of the healthiest diets.
Brady
Where was yours not on the list.
Toledo
No kidding.
Unknown
The Brady diet. Number one was the Mediterranean diet. Diet limit sweets, processed foods and red meat.
Brady
Too many omelets, lots of fruits, veggies, too many olives.
Unknown
You like olives?
Yeah, of course he does.
Brady
Tastes them constantly.
Unknown
Had to ask the redundant.
Brady
His blood tastes like olives.
Toledo
I got olive oil coming on my face sweats.
Unknown
Evo the Dash diet is designed to lower blood pressure. Stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension. The Flexitarian Diet.
Never heard of this.
You're mostly a vegetarian but sometimes eat meat.
Larry McFeely
No, you're not.
Brady
Yeah, it's dumb. Get up and take a walk. That's like the pan genders and stuff. Like you're not really a thing.
Unknown
You just like sex.
Brady
Making up words.
Unknown
The Mayo Clinic diet, a three month program for weight loss. You eat balanced meals with smaller portions and can't eat while watching tv.
So you eat right.
Brady
So you just eat a normal diet and you don't overindulge. And you get up and move around every once in a while and eat.
Toledo
In front of the kitchen, kitchen stuff in front of the tv instead of.
Brady
Breaking out the bag of Tate's cookies and sitting there and binging the squid games. Which by the way, are awesome.
Unknown
John, don't.
Brady
Oh, it's so good.
Unknown
The new season is good.
Brady
It's so good.
Unknown
John, don't forget Kevin is behind the computer as the driver of those who's. How you like them apples?
Brady
Well, I like Kevin sitting back occasionally going, look, look, look, look. I let it go around the airport two more times. He's, he's crying. He's going to miss his flight. That's funny. They get bored too, you know. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies. So we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com It's Dick Toledo.
Unknown
And new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets. When your first five dollar wager wins, just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sports book 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only 5$. First deposit required. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step protects next step to 5, 3, 3, 4, 2.
And if you're not on one of those diets right now, you might be upset at Chick Fil A because a lot of they're catching some flack for changing their waffle fries to what? They put a pea starch on the frying process and people claim they can tell the difference. It's to make them crispier.
Because. What?
Brady
That's just because they were told. Yeah.
Toledo
Come on.
Unknown
Yeah. The rumor was last summer that they are ditching their waffle fries completely.
Brady
By the way, you don't have that strong a palate if you're eating a Chick Fil A in the first place to discern whether or not it was fried in pea starch. So Brett's right. That was power suggestion. So I can taste the pea starch. No, you can't.
Toledo
You don't.
Brady
You know pea starch. Yeah, you just learned that phrase. You just don't want peas in your body. You just want French fries the old fashioned way. What are they mixing in peas with my fries, bruh.
Unknown
I got a couple of radio videos. The first one is an AI generated UFO video that looks really. I mean, looks so real, it's got some people freaking out about it. They weren't told right away, and it was. But look how good this is not.
Brady
This isn't real.
Unknown
No.
Brady
It's a UFO in the middle of a field and a bunch of guys in hazmat suits walking around it. This is a fake video. Yeah. Like right there. It looks a little shady. Oh, no. I'm thinking that that was. That's a.
Unknown
See an Amazon logo.
Brady
Okay. So that. I thought that was just a Gl. That was a piece of tape.
Unknown
Yeah. That was like.
Brady
Yeah.
Unknown
Crime tape.
Brady
Again. That's something that I would have looked at and said, somebody's pulling a trick, but I would have never guessed. AI.
Unknown
It's been three different shapes so far. That's the only thing.
Or they're different crafts.
Brady
Well, the key to it is get close enough to see their fingers because it still can't get hands right. That's crazy. Real. Well, there you go.
Unknown
Next one. Will. Will kick off the radio video season with some car hits, people getting hit.
Brady
Oh.
Unknown
First one's a guy on a motorcycle.
Brady
Oh, geez. He just t boned a truck in front of everybody. Well, that's not good.
Unknown
There's a couple of 360s.
Brady
All right. He t boned the car, so the motor.
Unknown
Next one. This lady's having a horrible day.
Brady
Okay. She's crossing the street.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
In the crosswalk. She's in Turkey. It says right there. Oh, there.
Unknown
She gets hit by the car, and.
Brady
Then another one's gonna roll over. Oh, God. She's laying in the road here. No, Brady. No. Some guy runs out to help out. Two people go to help, and then.
Unknown
And I can't figure out this guy.
Brady
Next car slowly goes by, hits her again, and only her. There's like, eight people. Well, she's not moving too quick, is she?
Unknown
Boy, in Turkey, they get rough. You hit somebody, they pull you out of the car.
Brady
Not just turkey.
Unknown
Last one I call the trash compactor.
Brady
Okay.
Unknown
This is the.
Brady
Is it. There's a trash truck across the street. It's a rainy day.
Unknown
There's the guy.
Brady
Car's gonna hit the trash truck. Standing in the back of the trash truck, and the car just cuts him in half. Oh, God. Ah.
Unknown
There you go.
Brady
All right, Brett. Kickoffs for 2025. That make us all disgusted.
Toledo
Yeah. We'll start off mild here with.
Unknown
Where can it go? Where can it go?
Brady
What more? Don't ask.
Toledo
Because snorting last year was a pretty good one.
Unknown
That's right.
Brady
Yeah. What do we see? What we should predict. Like, the one thing we'll see.
Unknown
What trend. No, because Bailey will find it.
Brady
I'm gonna tell you exactly what it is. Oh, we're gonna combo the snorting we. We were introduced to last year. The snorting of the yummy don't. From the truffle butter. Yeah.
Unknown
Oh, don't forget the.
Toledo
One of the. Remember, one of the last ones we had last year was the uncircumcised guy with the.
Brady
Yeah. I don't know if Brady just finished or. He was disgusting. Disgusting. All right. Yeah. Because I think that's gonna be a cream pie. That a guy. A guy snorts a little Debbie is what I'm saying. That's my prediction for 2025. We will see that.
Toledo
Probably not too far off.
Brady
There's probably people going, let's do that now and send it. All right.
Toledo
Here's a little tree trimming. Yeah. Some tree Trimming, going on.
Brady
Big trees. 50, 60 footers, guys. About halfway up, man. A little less than that tree is split in half. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And it split the tree and it drops down and bats him off the tree like a bug. Yeah, the whole tree just falls. And then it kind of bounces back and takes him out. Wow. It strips him off that tree too. Oh, my God. There's a moped in a cruddy country. Door opens, sends him into traffic.
Toledo
Talking about timing.
Brady
Happy New Year. Oh, my God. Wow. I think everybody in Japan gets hit by a car eventually. It just has to be.
Toledo
And then this one is basically titled Suicidal Goat. It would rather die than get banged by these dudes. Oh, no, doesn't die.
Unknown
Oh, I. Oh.
Brady
Goat running into a fire. And these guys are trying to. They're not trying to bang it, are they? He just wants to stop running into the fireplace.
Unknown
I think he could climb his way up the chimney.
Brady
But the goat is trying to. To run into the baby.
Unknown
Did you just say Santa goat?
Brady
He's trying to climb up this. He's okay. Why do they keep running into the fire? I don't know what is going on in that country that the goats cook themselves. They know their fate. They're just cutting out the middleman.
Toledo
And here's some impressive gymnastics work, shall we say?
Brady
All right, all right. Dude dressed as Spider man who leaps in the air, does a backflip onto his boyfriend's wiener and starts. Oh, my God. That's the most amazing sex act I've ever seen in my life. He's dressed as Spider Man. His erect boyfriend is on the ground, propped straight up in the air. He does a backflip with his butt out of the Spider man suit and lands directly on the pee pee and just starts working.
Unknown
That is risk.
Brady
That's Troy and Michael on Halloween. And I am happy to say Happy New Year, everybody. How? Show me that one more time. I'm looking for a glitch in the video to see that that wasn't edited. Backflip, slow motion. Lands it and doesn't even pause to look.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. That might be the greatest achievement in human history. Name a better balls. One giant step for man going to the moon.
Toledo
One giant crank for mankind.
Brady
That was. That was easier to do than what those two just did. What Luke Skywalker did to blow up the Death star. It's a 2 meter hole. This guy topped that by a lot.
Toledo
Come on, Wedge.
Brady
It's like shooting womp rats back home.
Unknown
He didn't get the spinnies.
Brady
That was amazing.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Could. Could any of our gymnasts do that? Probably all of them worth trying. The men, at least. How. How many times did they try that and fail?
Unknown
How many stunt things aren't breaking.
Brady
Well, that's what I'm saying. Stunt wings where you just crush a wang with a butt cheek instead of the. You can't be off a centimeter. And the lube has to be right.
Unknown
Oh, lube has to be.
Brady
It has to be perfect. Or we're talking about. We're just de Gloving your wiener with a dry hole. Fantastic. Kickoff to the year, boys.
Unknown
Well done, permanent Peronis.
Brady
Oh, it's. It's. You're. You're breaking that like those skateboarders Arms. It's going into a Z shape. I'm impressed. I want to know their names.
Toledo
Troy and Michael.
Brady
That's what I think. There you go. That's your Brady report. It's 98k upd.
Unknown
Hey, it's not weird.
Brady
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: January 6, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: January 6, 2025
In the January 6, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo dive into a lively mix of humor, current events, and offbeat discussions. The episode, aptly titled "Happy Divorce Day And Take Down Tree Day - Most Common County Name Is Not Hazard - Man Gets Stuck In LAX Waymo - List Of Healthiest Diets Does Not Include Brady's," promises a blend of entertainment and insightful banter tailored to engage and amuse their diverse listener base.
John Holmberg kicks off the episode by promoting local comedy events, highlighting performances at various Improv venues across the Valley.
"Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday." [00:00]
For more details, visit standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com, and tempeimprov.com.
Brady Bogen leads a discussion on the upcoming 25th anniversary of Disturbed's iconic album "Down with the Sickness."
"It's like the 25th anniversary of the 6th." [01:29]
The hosts reminisce about the band's influence, contrasting the passage of time with the enduring legacy of music from the 1970s versus the early 2000s. They humorously debate the impact of celebrating such milestones and reflect on the changes in musical tastes over the decades.
A segment unfolds where the team addresses the absence of Hooters as a sponsor for the new year.
"Normally I say it's brought to you by Hooters. I'll say it. I don't mean it today." [02:50]
Brady apologizes for the missing sponsorship, attributing it to a probable sales oversight. The conversation lightheartedly speculates on the reasons behind the lapse and the potential for future sponsorship negotiations.
Brady introduces "The Brady Report," a segment delivering unique news and quirky insights.
The team discusses the phenomenon of "Divorce Day," identified as the first working Monday of the year.
"Happy Divorce Day. The number one day of the year for breakups." [03:51]
They analyze statistics indicating a surge in divorce filings post-holidays, attributing it to the stresses and prolonged family interactions during the festive season.
Following Divorce Day, they highlight "Take Down Your Christmas Tree Day," emphasizing the swift post-holiday clean-up.
"If you're going to pull the trigger... You should have gotten rid of that two months ago." [05:02]
A humorous debate ensues over county naming conventions, focusing on Washington County's prevalence.
"The most common name for counties in the US is Washington county with 31. Jefferson county is second with 26." [06:36]
Brady proposes renaming Arizona's Pinal County to "Hazard County," envisioning it as a hub for car-jumping enthusiasts with exaggerated safety consequences.
"I guarantee you the day they announced that Pinal county changes to Hazard County, 14 people died trying to jump their cars." [07:00]
The hosts creatively speculate on the cultural and economic impacts of such a name change, blending satire with local insights.
The discussion shifts to a critique of the latest U.S. News and World Report list of the healthiest diets, humorously noting the absence of "Brady's Diet."
"Where was yours not on the list." [18:33]
They review top diets like the Mediterranean Diet, Flexitarian Diet, and Mayo Clinic Diet, poking fun at their own unconventional eating habits and societal diet trends.
"Too many omelets, lots of fruits, veggies, too many olives... You get rid of that fellow you don't like." [18:45]
The hosts review and react to various viral radio videos submitted by listeners, blending humor with critical commentary.
A discussion on a realistic-looking UFO video generated by AI sparks skepticism and humor.
"You can't get hands right. That's crazy. Real." [22:30]
Brady and the team dissect the video's authenticity, highlighting the limitations of AI in replicating intricate human features.
A series of car accident videos are analyzed, with the hosts expressing a mix of concern and dark humor over the depicted mishaps.
"He just t boned a truck in front of everybody. Well, that's not good." [23:50]
The segment underscores the unpredictable nature of on-the-road dangers, albeit presented in an exaggeratedly comedic light.
Brady and Toledo engage in a playful forecasting session, speculating on bizarre and humorous trends for the year.
"I'm gonna tell you exactly what it is. Oh, we're gonna combo the snorting we... the homework don't." [25:19]
Their predictions range from outrageous drug use trends to implausible stunts, including:
"That's Troy and Michael on Halloween. And I am happy to say Happy New Year, everybody." [28:03]
The segment concludes with laughter and camaraderie, highlighting the hosts' rapport and creative thinking.
As the episode draws to a close, John Holmberg transitions to a promotional segment featuring Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body, emphasizing quality service and community trust.
"We've been in the valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job." [20:02]
Additionally, brief mentions of ongoing promotions and listener spotlights wrap up the show, leaving listeners entertained and informed.
Brady Bogen on Divorce Day:
"January 6th... you just spent two weeks with your beloved and money and time." [03:57]
Dick Toledo on County Naming:
"Maybe we should make a deal that Brady gets in the calendar for change this year." [03:34]
Brady Bogen on Hooters Sponsorship:
"We love you, Hooters... Somebody dropped the ball down in sales." [02:50]
Brady Bogen on Waymo Incident:
"I trust Waymos more than I trust the human mind." [17:53]
Brady Bogen on AI UFO Video:
"You can't get hands right. That's crazy." [22:30]
Brady Bogen on Extreme Stunts:
"That's the most amazing sex act I've ever seen in my life." [27:41]
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness successfully weaves together humor, local happenings, and quirky discussions, offering listeners a vibrant start to the new year. From promoting stand-up comedy to dissecting dietary trends and forecasting absurd future events, John Holmberg and his team deliver an engaging and entertaining broadcast that resonates with Arizona's diverse morning audience.