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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Brady
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute dot com.
Brett
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brady
He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 to you. PT Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. That's. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. And a quick reminder to you, Brett, you. Brady Toledo knows this in the other room. And include myself in this. We are sucks. We have wasted our lives.
Big Dick Toledo
What do we do now?
Brady
We are nothing. You will never amount to anything. Human achievement. You've done nothing. Enjoy however many years you've put together. You're worthless and I know it. And there you go. Enjoy that. I saw something last night that made me realize I've been wasting my time on the planet. I have achieved nothing. I am talentless. I am absolutely worthless. And everyone I hang out with is the same. And most of you listening also. I don't know you all, but I'm going to make that broad Sweeping generalization to all of you. Cause I saw a man named Tommy Emanuel last night play his guitar. Have you ever seen him?
Big Dick Toledo
No.
Listener
Does he play with his feet?
Brady
Brady, don't make fun of him or I'll punch you square in the balls. I swear to God. This is. He's a God. It is the most.
Listener
Just asked a question.
Brady
I don't care your question, bro. Hey, bro. Your question was out of line, you talentless, absolute piece of worthless knob. Me too, by the way. I look into the mirror saying the exact same thing. I'm not just attacking you. I'm attacking your insane sloth. Like life you've lived of achieving nothing. You're bad at everything. I am too. And so are you, Brett. What I saw was human achievement on display last night. What I saw was perfection. I've never seen it before. I watched, I witnessed it last night. I witnessed what is the greatest performance without being. Fire, flames, explosions. Tommy Emanuel. YouTube him if you've never heard of him. He's an Australian guy. He's been playing guitar since he's six years old and I've never seen anything like it. He was a drummer for a while and he used his guitar as an entire drum set. He plays by himself. And it is the human achievement, the ability. If you ever put your mind to anything, if you ever hyper focused on something, it just proves how good you can be at stuff. It made me mad. It was the same. I walked out feeling the same as I felt when I left the show. Book of Mormon. When I said nothing I could ever do would be anywhere near as good as what I just witnessed. I am a lesser human being than that man's achievements. It was. And just remarkable. Everything, just the heights of achievement and perseverance and ambition and everything else was on display. Saw it at the mim. Which by the way, if you've not been to the museum, the Musical Instrument Museum up there in Scottsdale. The sound in that room is insanity. This dude. I don't know what you're going to play here. Brett, you just found something. Beatles melody. Oh, the Beatles. And, and, and. And what he does to build to this is. It's so remarkable. What he did was incredible. And you know what? He's so good at it that on a video you might not even be able to grasp how amazing he is. It's. His touch is everything. It's just. It's remarkable. By Tommy Emanuel. Just YouTube it. Get into that and you can't. Guitar players. I went with Jay Ackerman, who runs the React, defense.
Listener
He was the one that's like, you got to see this.
Brady
No, I. He told me about him years ago. I knew about him through other people who play guitar. He's the legend in the world of guitarists. He's a legend in the world of music. Period. End of story. But he's not a guy who's, you know, going out there, you know, trying to write hit music. He's just. He's Hoyt Axton, Jerry Reed, all the guys that. Jerry Reed's probably one of the most underrated guitar players of all time. He's known for Eastbound and Down and stuff like that, but the dude is a legend.
Listener
Glenn Campbell.
Brady
Well, Glenn Campbell was really good. Nothing on this. I mean, Glenn Campbell was good. Chet, you know, you get it. You get into Roy Clark, Jerry Reeds of the world that would look at Glenn and say, you're decent. This is a different animal. It's. He. It's like he had 35 fingers at certain points.
Listener
There you are.
Brady
I've never. That might be me. That might be me. There I am. But J.J. talked about it. He's a. He's up there. He's a member of the mim. And you know those things you go to where you're like, you stand. You do a standing ovation at the end. Like, there are certain times when something happens on a stage and you just get up. Your body just says, get up. Just clap for that human being that's doing something you've never seen you didn't think humanly possible. And it's just beautiful. I wrote the songs he wrote himself. He made the guitar speak. An acoustic guitar was just instrumental then.
Big Dick Toledo
Or is he saying to.
Brady
Well, he does a little singing, but it's mostly. It's almost 90% instrumental. It's the most amazing musical achievement I've ever witnessed. I. I honestly, I've said it. At the end, I'm like, this might be the best show I've ever seen in my life of anything. And. And Jay even said. And Jay's a guitar player and has been for years, and he's excellent. And he said. I just. All this guy makes me want to do is go home and break my guitars, because it'll never be like this. It was amazing. So have you ever. And you're a music fan, get a chance to see Tommy Emanuel. I've known about him for a long time. The guitar player in the band I goof around with. Marty's like, oh, legend. My friend Colin, who's a guitar player, always talks about Him. And it's like he's just remark. And it's almost like he's almost a hidden secret of guitarists. When you kind of. When you say, yeah, what did he do?
Listener
I'm saying, to make him so, you know, it's amazing that when I guess he's got his following.
Brady
Yeah, it's worldwide. He's been doing this since he's 6. And, like, his story is kind of remarkable. His parents sort of forced him.
Listener
Like, what I'm thinking is, like, manish. You think he'd be doing bigger venues?
Brady
Oh, he does bigger venues. And the musical. The mim is a. It's an honor. It's one of those things. You play that thing and you're like, this is it. And then you see it in the m. If you've ever been in the room. Have you ever been to the auditorium there?
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Oh, the sound. And that's amazing. It's unreal. Like, we've got such a special thing. That building is a special. Like, it's unique to only us. And there's. It's. It was mind blown. And it's hard for me. My cynical way to see something that great and walk away trying to tell you how great it was just made me feel like I've done nothing. And then I thought of you guys. I'm like, they've done nothing. I thought of other people. I know. I'm like, well, they've accomplished nothing. What a bunch of losers. I'm saying, our accomplishments.
Big Dick Toledo
Getting up on time here, just waking.
Brady
Up and showing up and, like, been skating through another day. But Tommy Emanuel was. I mean, it's. I even told my friend Colin last night. I'm like, have you ever seen Tommy Emanuel? And then he had to remind himself. He goes, how do you know about him? And I just haven't hung out with you. You've told me and other guitar players that, you know, take it seriously. That aren't just, you know, strumming chords and goofing around. Most guitar players that have any interest in the instrument know Tommy Emanuel as if he is, you know, he's on top of Mount Olympus. It is. He's. He's the Mount Rushmore guitar player. I never seen anything like it. He broke into some stuff with that guitar when he was drumming it, and it was a full Neil Peart Rush drum thing. It's not strumming. It's not using the strings for anything. He's. He's making. He's got 35 drums on his guitar with just the way he he knows every single square inch of that thing. To make a different noise on it. It was amazing. Amazing. So I was lucky to see it in my lifetime. And now I just get to look at you idiots and say, jesus, I've wasted it all. I've wasted it all.
Listener
Makes you feel good.
Brady
No, it doesn't. Makes you feel terrible. Yeah. You go out there and you hit a good shot golfing. And then you watch you know somebody who's actually good at the game. And you're like, I'm wasting my time. It's stupid. It's stupid to be. I witnessed perfection. I witnessed somebody just say, hey, I just perfected this thing. You want to see it? It's like, yeah, I dabble. I dabble in that, you know. No, you don't. Put your guitars down, all of you. You're failing. You're terrible at it. Just let him do it on his own. And then you realize what perfection is. Like. He said, it's like, you know, you have to be insane to get this good at something. You have to be 12 to 15 hours a day, get on sleep constant. He kind of said that. He's like, I knew that what I was gonna do was my little performances and then go get better at it again, you know, go work on something else. You know, since I was a little kid, I would hear something. He can't read music. He just picked guitars up and started to play with them. And then he's doing his own thing. It is unreal. Just if you get time today, just go down the. Go down the hole of Tommy and Manual videos. And his brother who passed away was evidently even better than him. His dad was kind of like a Jackson 5. Like, you kids are going to do this and I'm taking you on the road. And started. Just jammed them out onto stages when they were young. And luckily for him, they took to it rather than, you know, the heroin that most people when their parents forced them to do stuff that they do. But it's. It was remarkable.
Big Dick Toledo
Just did a plane last night, you know, you don't sleep anymore.
Brady
That's right. You're.
Big Dick Toledo
You know.
Brady
And we're on day one of that. Right. Which is fantastic.
Big Dick Toledo
How's that going, by the way?
Brady
It was good. You know, I got home last night, I'm like. I was. Brady tried to tell me that it was bedtime at 8:00. Cause he was heading to bed about 7:45. He had just finished a pork roast. And he's like, Billy, full time for sleepies. So I got the 8:00 thing. Nope. Like, nope. Just walking into a concert and wandered into that thing and remarkable. And then went home and watched the movie that won best Animated film in the Golden Globes, which was Flo. I'll tell you, coming off of the Tommy Emanuel thing, flow is just a anxiety. If you love animals. It's just an anxiety ridden hour and 30 minutes of a cat, a dog and a couple other animals trapped on a boat. And they just keep having this perilous adventure and then it just ends. It just makes you anxious. Like, is it going to. Which one's going to die? Which one's going to die? And then at the end it just, it just ends. You just go through all these. You get attached to the characters. I don't. How did this thing win best Animated Feature? They're supposed to be fun and it was cute. And then you're like, oh, I fell for all the animals in this thing. And then all they do is almost die like eight or nine times each. And then the ending happens and you're like, well, that wasn't satisfying at all.
Big Dick Toledo
So there's no ending. Is it like Lord of the Rings or something? It just keeps going.
Listener
It just puts you through.
Brady
No, it just, it's not even that. It just puts you through so much of peril and like all the things, it's like, oh God, you see? Oh, he just barely made it out of that one thing and then he's back into this next thing that might kill him and then his little animal friends and him get separated and then they're gold to get back and there's no talking. It's. You're just invested in this feature. And then at the end you're like, what did I just watch? You just put me through hell for an hour and a half making sure that this cat I fell in love with and his animal friends and the dog all make it out alive and then they're just staring at a puddle and. What? I don't need metaphors at this point. You put that cat underwater eight times on min ass. If cats have nine lives, I have one less for watching that because I had three heart attacks during this day. It was terrifying. So I was up, I stayed up till about. I was about 2:30 and then I'm like, you know what? I'm going to shut down for a few minutes. Dropped out until about four and then hung out with the dogs for a bit. So I had a nap. I'm feeling really good about that. I go home today as I reverse my entire life and it's a world of no alarms. And so far, so good. And it makes me happier and I've got more energy. I'm a night person and I faked it for quarter of a century.
Listener
You're tired of faking it.
Brady
I'm done faking it. I'm done with bedtimes and I'm done with alarms. I'm a grownup, for crying out loud. Bedtime is for children. I've got a bedtime. No, I'm getting my rest when I get my rest. Huh. Tweaker does feel a little tweaker. There's a certain part when you're sitting up in the middle of the night all by yourself and you're like, what am I going to do now? It's like, there's math. I guess that's the only. The only real. Like your body just immediately goes, we're kind of living the life of a drug addict now. We're sitting alone in a living room watching old game shows. This is what meth heads do. But, oh, you know what I could have done? I could have picked up a guitar and start. But I got no skill or ambition or any sort of drive in my life. I'm worthless. Tommy Emanuel taught me that. Yeah, When I saw Book of Mormon, I laughed so hard. I enjoyed it so much, I left angry because you think of yourself as somebody who sees the humor in things, finds the angle of funny, and can weave a story and tell a tale and whatever. And then you watch something like that and you're like, it's perfect. It's funny everywhere the story works. It's smart. It's just capable in every direction. You push it. And I left kind of angry. Like, I'll never be associated with anything remotely close to that good. There's people out there right now. Maybe you feel like you're the best roofer in the world, and then you go up next to the Tommy Emanuel of roofing and you're like, what am I doing? Just break this nail gun. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have a clue in life. I'm an idiot. I'm just one of the worker bees. I'm not special. Last night taught me that I'm not special. And I've never met anyone who is. Go yourselves. You're all just miserable worker bees, too. Holberg's morning Sieberg's morning sickness 28 Kubden.
Brett
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Dick Toledo
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Brady
It's like Tiger Woods. It's like, you know, when you're I can't even There's a handful of people who are.
Listener
There's always another John.
Brady
No, there's not. No, there's not, Brady, there's not. And don't say that. Don't say that as if you've got ambition. You are worthless. You will never achieve anything great. And it's true. And so am I. There's greatness. And when you see it, you realize you've never been around it. It glows. It's different. It's just different. I was in a room with Muhammad Ali once, and I knew he was there. I didn't know it was Muhammad Ali, but I knew something in the room had changed and it wasn't people's behavior. I'm like, there's a disturbance in the force. And I turn around and I'm like, there's the greatest and also the world famous. Like, there wasn't a corner of this planet that didn't know who he was. And I'm standing next to him. There's something different about that dude. Like, that dude's got a little something different. It isn't celebrity, it's his ability. He's the best. The best at what he did of all time. And then, you know, you see Michael Jordan, the best of all time. And there's just that. That human greatness that kind of turns into stuff. Tommy Emanuel, last night, when I watched him, like, there's. Nobody's going to be better than this. It was incredible. There's not enough superlatives to describe what I saw. Go see it. Travel immediately.
Listener
Be a road trip, huh?
Brady
Do it. Go get him. He plays big arenas, but, yeah, it's all over the world. He's Asia, all of it. Everybody who's ever heard guitars like I am, there's that guy that does only what he can do. It's incredible. So maybe just let that. And then he kept. And they kept trying to. It was. Pissed me off a little bit. He kept trying to give, like, messages that, you know, there's always tomorrow. Tomorrow's a gift to all of us. And then he'd kind of almost in a passive aggressive way, start to show you what he was doing. Like, you could go home and work on that. It's like, here's what I do. My thumb's doing this, and these fingers are this. And my thumb's basically a bass guitar. My pinky's doing the drums. The other three fingers are the melody. And he goes. And then this hand is. And I'm like, okay, you're already pissing me off, because you're the only one that can do what you're doing. It was incredible. So, you know, enjoy your mundane life. We all should just go get ropes today. Let these great humans handle the Earth because we're. You're not special. And your kids, by the way, none of your kids are special. They're like, already. If they're. If they're six and they haven't accomplished anything yet, they're not gonna. And that's basically how it is. I witnessed a guy who. Who had already destroyed all of us by the time he was 7 years old at Human Achievement. Your kids wandering around, you're like, gosh, I hope they get a job someday. Like, you've got one. You've got one of us. It's just put it on the pile with the rest of us. Of us worker bees. I hope I'm making you feel better. Happy New Year, everybody. It's just a great feeling. And sure, you can be good at stuff, but it's the old. It's the movie Whiplash, when it's like, is that good enough? Then I've always agreed with the movie Whiplash and the great phrase my dad used to say it. The two most dangerous words in the English language are good job. I. I totally agree with that because when you tell somebody, hey, good job, and it was okay. They did okay. You're not encouraging them to go further. You're not. You're saying, that was enough. You've achieved all you're needing to achieve. You want to go further, that's on you. The 15 pieces of flair. It's ambition. It's amazing to see when you witnessed it. Basically what I'm saying is I'd have blown the guy at the end of the show. Damn. Yeah. He deserved it from all of us in the audience.
Big Dick Toledo
What's up, Tommy?
Brady
Go up and give a little to the end of his tip and just say, you're special. You're a special human being. It's not gay, it's not straight, it's not sexual. It's touching greatness. It's a part of it. It's very rare to see. So I woke up a little bit after my hour and 19 minutes of sleep. I woke up a little bit like, all right, well, you've done nothing with your life. Go tell your fart jokes and act like you've accomplished something, because you haven't. That's the meth talking. You know what? And meth would probably make me a little more ambitious, so maybe I will take it up. I've got a piano in my house. I dabble with, you know, it was too hard for me and started to push me back a little bit. Scales. Remembering them scales is hard. Like learning scales. Like, I was getting it together. And I'm like, nah, this is hard. I don't want to do this. I want to be good at it now. And that's what most of us do. We want to. We see something and we're like, I want to be good at this today. And they're like, ah, I'm not going to put the time in to be great at this. What am I doing? I'm wasting it. Then I got to where I could dabble on the piano.
Listener
The greatness fades after working on a little bit.
Brady
Well, there's a certain aspect of people who are, you know, when you realize I'm never going to be great at this. So is it going to make me more frustrated than it is happy? If I'm not going to be great at something, I don't like doing it, which stops me from being good at a lot of things. You don't want to be. I don't want to go out there and be like, crap at stuff. It's crazy. And then you see that dude and you're like, oh, you were better at life than me at 6. You know, granted, his parents forced him into it. And who knows if he was a. If he's miserable inside. My God. Just remarkable. Tonight's story. Tonight's evening news. 35 people commit suicide after listening to Holmberg's opening monologue. It's true. And you know what? That's 35 less losers. I agree with that decision that 35 of them made. Yeah. If you're contemplating it and things just don't seem right, you're probably better off. You're never going to be as good as Tommy Emanuel at anything. Yeah. And you see people who are like, you know, like, I've seen that too, when I was watching A Girl was a late night TV show a few years ago. And he's just this dude that sits in the corner and beats the hell out of everybody at foosball in the world. Like, there isn't a single person he's afraid of on the planet. As the guy comes in, goes, I'm pretty much the greatest foosball player in the world. And this guy stands up and goes, I'm right here. And then he just beats the li. Like it can't be fun for him to play anyone. He. He sits in bars and they pay him. And then, like, you bring in the world champions of foosballing. Like, I. I can't lose this game. This was years ago. I don't know if he's dead or not. He's probably in his late 60s. And the dude would just beat the living crap out of everyone. Our old boss used to make the claim that there were five people on the planet that could beat him up. And that was it.
Big Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Brady
And he started laughing at that. And I'd never seen him in action or anything. I still think it was crap.
Big Dick Toledo
Nobody has seen him in action.
Brady
Right. Seriously. I mean, and that was the thing. That's a pretty bold claim. You don't want to find out he's right. You don't want to try to scalp him and say, all right, let's see what you got and find out. I could see that maybe 5 people out of the 7 billion are maybe going to beat you up. I think he was full of it. But if Tommy Emanuel came in here and said, there isn't anyone on the planet better than me at guitar at all, you'd be like, this asshole. And then he breaks out the guitar and proves himself right. You're like, oh, Jesus, I'm the idiot. Phenomenal. And it was. It Was a. It's a gift. It's one of those things when you just say, I'm just happy I got to see that in my lifetime. It was pretty amazing. Meanwhile, all we're trying to do is stop people from saying bro in 2025. And, you know, guess what? We're gonna fail at it. It's not gonna.
Big Dick Toledo
No way. We're taking it back.
Brady
Yeah. You know, we got this. That's our big. That's our big movement for the.
Big Dick Toledo
That's our chief movement.
Brady
We decided on the sixth day of the year that our big contribution to society was we're gonna make it. So we're gonna ask you guys to stop saying bro. And so far, by the way, all you've done is say bro. More like my emails are just loaded with the word bro. It was amazing. So. And I. Thanks to the Ackermans. They. Jay told me about this probably back at the end of November. He said, hey, I just. We've talked about enough. And Tommy Emanuel will be at the mim. I got tickets if you're interested. I'm like, that's great. Thank you. And then it kind of snuck up on us that January six rolled around, and there it was. And again, if you ever have the opportunity to. Whatever's going on up there at the Mim, if you ever get the opportunity to go see something there, do it. And what did you see there?
Big Dick Toledo
I can't remember what it was, but we were there. It was. I don't think it was anything big, but it was just. We were there checking out the museum itself.
Brady
Oh, that room.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
And it's maybe like 1500 people, tops. Yeah.
Big Dick Toledo
And the sound is just on.
Brady
Phenomenal. I've never heard anything like it. It was like. It just.
Big Dick Toledo
But even the exhibits themselves, I don't know if you got a chance to walk through. They were.
Brady
They're great, too. No, no, it was. Yeah. I know. I know that building special. And I know that we've got, you know, like, it's world renown with. For musicians and music and stuff, but, man, oh, man, do yourself a favor and explore the valley a little bit. And the people who go, there's nothing to do here that I've been guilty of that. That is a place that needs to be embraced by the community even more. It's kind of like just slapped down in the middle of a desert field across from Desert Ridge.
Big Dick Toledo
It's in the middle of nowhere almost.
Brady
I mean, you know, most of us would drive by it and go, I'm gonna go get fat at the keg or at some bar, Desert Ridge, and do more mundane fat loser stuff like most of us, instead of going in there and, like, really embracing how amazing this.
Big Dick Toledo
Well, it sounds like after seeing that, you want to go do that.
Brady
Just go to the bar. Oh, no, there's a Home Depot nearby. I'm just gonna go get a bucket and a rope. Yeah. People are like, you finally saw it. Like, the Tommy Emanuel thing. It's. It's life changing. And it may be. It literally may be just one of those deals. You're like, you know, it's life changing in this way. Stop trying, John. You can't achieve anything. You're worthless. Let the greats be great. You just keep hammering and nailing. The world needs ditch diggers. I'm one of them.
Dick Toledo
And I would counter that. Greatness doesn't fade, Brady. It's been around forever. We always remember what happened.
Brady
Did he say greatness fades? Yes. When did I say that? Well, he probably did. I'm not gonna go.
Listener
Greatness fades. I would never say that.
Brady
Well, see, I'm not gonna go to you for the. I would never say that because we went to the tape yesterday and everything you said. You didn't say. You said so. I don't know if you said it. Did he say that?
Dick Toledo
He did.
Brady
When did he say that?
Dick Toledo
He was trying to make another point. He says, you know, greatness fades over time.
Brady
Well, what that could be. Well, don't get angry at him.
Listener
Hey, second show in.
Brady
Here we go. I'm not going for your.
Listener
And I killed Kennedy.
Brady
Oh, well, that could be. That could be. I wouldn't doubt that. And that was, you know, very flawed attempt, too. You were bad at that. I mean, it's just not. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
Now we go to the tape and we have that.
Brady
Oh, that I'm going to isolate and play to any lawyer that'll listen. Yeah, it was.
Big Dick Toledo
We can fly out tomorrow and catch him in Irvine. He's playing tomorrow.
Brady
Is he playing Irvine tomorrow? Yeah, the dude's amazing.
Big Dick Toledo
Malibu.
Brady
The following day, this guy said it said, holmberg speak. Who wants to wake up and be the second best radio show in the Valley? That's true. Like, I. That's where. That's where our. But again, this is. I've looked at the competition. It's not hard. I went to jump over retards and succeeded. And I'm all proud of myself. That's ridiculous. Have you met other radio people and keep in. This isn't special. It's just we're beating the crap out of the dummies. I'm winning gold medal after gold medal in the Special Olympics. And I. I mean, I. In the building alone, you meet the other radio shows, and you're like, jesus Christ. This is the ilk I hang with. This is. This is the. The group. Yeah. It's. This industry we've chosen was a. Basically the safety school of employment. I better just take that. Yeah, this dude. I don't even. I don't even want to watch it right now. You're pulling it up. I know who it is.
Dick Toledo
This is him doing Classical Gas. I just.
Brady
Oh, the classical casting. And he does it different every time.
Dick Toledo
Oh, I'm sure.
Brady
And he's so great at it.
Dick Toledo
The changes on it are what's amazing.
Brady
You don't appreciate what he's actually accomplishing so much more than what normally gets played. And on a. On a video, it doesn't capture the performance.
Dick Toledo
I'm sure. Like song especially.
Brady
There'S just ridiculous amounts of changes.
Dick Toledo
He tells you stories in between all this.
Brady
Great. A whole song of harmonics, which, if you're a guitar player and you sit and realize how hard it is to even just do it once he did.
Dick Toledo
It, he did Somewhere over the Rainbow where he did harmonics.
Brady
That's what Jay said. He said he didn't do Somewhere of the Rainbow because that might make you cry. That's crazy. I'm angry at Jay for taking me to that and showing me what. What could have been in life had I ever tried.
Big Dick Toledo
Worthless John, now you've been in the room with three of the greatest of all time. Muhammad Ali, Tommy EMANUEL, and Beth McDonald's.
Brady
It's very true. Yeah. It's hard to. Well, when we're talking about physical achievements. I don't know if radio is where she's the best of all time, but she's beat up our old boss when he said only five people on the planet could beat him up. And we realized that Beth McDonald was one of the five.
Big Dick Toledo
Was it a crank swinging contest or what?
Brady
Well, you're not gonna win that with Beth either. Yeah, she's gonna go, how much dick do you need to see before we stop this contest? I'm like, beth, I don't want to play with you, John.
Dick Toledo
Doesn't Mim only hold, like, 200 people? It must have been amazing.
Brady
It was amazing. And, yeah, I thought it was bigger than 200. It's bigger than that. It's probably 15 rows of 20.
Dick Toledo
Wow.
Brady
So maybe it was. It's just a remarkable place and I. Yeah, I just. I woke up like, well, go do your. You go be the ringer of, you know, the. The king of the retards, John, and take pride in that. Every time the ratings come out, pat yourself on the back for being the best retard in the radio business. Right? Yeah. Yay. I'm tired at 11, I go home and watch old match games waste away. Meanwhile, Tommy Emanuel, who's already the best of all time, is probably just cranking out some new idea. Holgs. Morning sickness.
Dick Toledo
This will prove your point a little bit. Hey, John, Is it Tommy, or are you saying Emmanuel with a hard e? So is it Tom Emmanuel?
Brady
Yeah. Don't even look.
Dick Toledo
Tommy Manual.
Brady
If you can't get the name right, you don't even. You're already failing at typing. Yeah, I can't type both.
Dick Toledo
Tell me which one it is.
Brady
Work them out. If you're guessing which of the three it is, one of them's gonna knock it out of the yard. Tom Emanuel. Tommy Manual or Tommy Emanuel. It's Tommy Emanuel. You'll figure it out. If you don't, there's a rope store close to you. I wanted to check out what homework was talking about, but the name was so foreign and crazy. You're. You're stupid.
Dick Toledo
You know, that's Australian.
Brady
We don't even try anymore. Our phones just go. I know what you meant. And it fixes it. Like it'll. I know. Whatever you were trying to spell, I fixed it.
Big Dick Toledo
Now Billy Gibbons is playing, and Billy.
Brady
Gibbons is going to be in a couple weeks. And that's another one where you're like, okay. And that's just mostly for the stories and stuff.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Yeah. That's amazing. So, Brady, this, to you, would have been like going to the greatest restaurant of all time and eating food that made you go, it can't get better than that. Like, I've been wasting my time pretending to know what I'm doing can't be done. And then you realize I could have achieved this. This wasn't. He's not a special human. Just a guy who put his. His energy and effort into something to be great and never had it. Ah, son of a. Prior to that, I'm having conversations.
Listener
I think the guy has definite gifts. I don't think anyone can do what this guy's doing.
Brady
Well, you can't just pick up. You're absolutely right.
Listener
Yeah. So. And what this guy's done, he's special. I mean, it's.
Brady
It's because of his ambition.
Listener
Yeah, but it doesn't have anything like, well, I could have done this.
Brady
Yes, you could have. Basically, when you put. When you have the ambition.
Listener
So this is good. It has changed your paradigm a little bit.
Brady
How so?
Listener
Follow your dreams.
Brady
Oh, shit.
Listener
You can accomplish whatever you want.
Brady
Go get the rope for him first, Pollyanna. Follow your dreams. I didn't say anything about that. I said, kill yourself. You'll never be. I didn't say that. I said, kill yourself. It's already too late. Unless you're five, it's over. We're all pushing the opposite of Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins tries to encourage you because basically, Tony Robbins looks at a room the way I see everybody and says, yvonne, wasted your lives. Go get them. And you know what you're doing? Giving Tony Robbins 32 bucks so he can achieve his dreams. That's all.
Listener
That's why I'm different with you on that. This guy's an amazing dude. Not everyone could do that. Even if you're a kid.
Brady
That's the excuse of a loser.
Listener
Hard on. That you're not going to accomplish with this guy.
Brady
Excuse of a loser. Oh, he turned on the kids. Yes, that's right. Whoa. It's the excuse of a loser to say you can never achieve that. You weren't given his gifts. And what I'm saying is, yeah, you were. You just didn't take advantage of your time the way he did. Now, is he special in the way he thinks? In that I will take 14 hours of my day to work on one thing constantly. None of us have that. Yeah, but we have the ability to do it. We just don't. And that's where. That's the difference between greatness and everyone in this room is that greatness can be achieved by all of us, whether or not we have the patience wherewithal and ability to fail that often. You have to fail 98% of the time to get to where he is.
Big Dick Toledo
As too much work.
Brady
And most of us quit because it's too much work. That's exactly right. Because why Brett? We're sort of lazy losers. We're lazy. Yeah. And we look at other people and you say things like, oh, he was given a gift. He's been blessed. He's been touched by God. No, he hasn't. You just didn't do anything. And you're looking at him like, well, that's unachievable. No, it's not. He's. No, he put. Again, he puts his pants on just like you do. It's those. Those jackasses that you see that you Hate so much when they lose their arms and stuff and they start fiddling around with instruments and start to play piano with their toes. God damn it, that's possible. I'm not doing it. But it's, it's. What they did was by necessity, learn how their toes can play a guitar. And you're like, well, that's because he doesn't have arms. I'm like, you do have arms and you can't play guitar. He's got two feet and the dude's rocking Classical Gas. It's brio. Greatness is different, but it doesn't mean. It just means we wasted it. This guy says, morning, Jewburg. I don't know about you guys, but I've achieved greatness. Just this morning. It's pretty impressive because it's 18 minutes after 6. I got the back door, a smoking hot 22 year old. And you know. And you best know, I finished in the old Chocolate Fish. Okay, that's not. He said, I'm not gloating, but I'm gonna gloat a little bit. Had to let the chancellor know greatness can be achieved just depends on what your bar is. That's very true. Personal greatness, good for you. But it really is. It's a moment where you kind of look around, you realize, all right, it's all. It was all in front of you. You can do this stuff. Just. You didn't put the time and energy and effort in to be great. And that's what you have to do.
Listener
And you're always told that growing up, more or less, hey, put the work in.
Brady
No, that's it. Very true. And then you see somebody who did, and you're like, oh, that's what it looks. But that's the difference between greatness and everyone else is that they did that. But it doesn't mean he's different or special. He's not got five. Five fingers on each hand, a brain just like you and everything else. You decide to use it different. Michael Jordan would, you know, like he always said, I skipped prom. I skipped all the social events. I skipped that. I became obsessed with one thing. And it made him the greatest of all time. Is he socially prepared for the world? Probably not. Probably only thinking about basketball. I mean, Tiger woods golfing, 60s, 4. Can't put the sticks down. You put. He's like a dog with a tennis ball. If you just laid out some golf clubs, he'd pick him up like, I want to touch that. Like, it's like, aren't you tired of this? By Now.
Listener
No.
Big Dick Toledo
All those hours I spent on Nintendo sure paid off. I mean, look at me now, mom.
Brady
All those hours of me with a puddle of my own filth on my stomach and a Nintendo thing in my hand going, I hate John Madden. This game sucks. It was. That was what I was doing while that guy's just sweating in another room going, I got to be the greatest at some.
Listener
Now there's esports.
Brady
Yeah. And then I quit because I felt pretty good about how good I got at Madden until it. You were allowed to play online. And I had a 12 year old that called me the N word a thousand times. Beat the living life out of me and I'm like, I'm never playing this game again. I quit when things got too hard. This is hard. And evidently I'm not even close to good at it. So this just made me save. Yeah. Pick something up today and. And then break it because you're never going to be very good. No, no, I'm not encouraging anyone. Just pick something up today and then destroy it and then realize you're real.
Listener
Look at it.
Brady
Yeah, look at it and go, I'll never be good at this. And then throw it away. Don't go buy anything or you have.
Dick Toledo
To tell Kirby to throw away the viola as well.
Brady
We should have told her that years ago.
Listener
She's got a sweet guitar in her room, right? Just sitting there.
Brady
Like what you said, though. She's sitting there. She was willing to put an hour a day in. That was a little too much to ask. Remember when you said she's got a practice. She's been doing 30 trainings she's been doing but she was forced to do it. And then the second she didn't have to, she quit like most of us. Like most of us. Yes. Her passion, keyboards is growing the greatest hydro in Gilbert. Yeah. Everybody goes out and gets something. And I ran into scales on the piano. I was feeling pretty good about myself and guys, all right, let's learn something about this instrument. And I started to work scales and then I'm like, tone, semitone tone, tone. What am I doing? I don't understand any of this. And then I had to write with nail polish on the piano the notes because I couldn't remember them. There's like 10 I couldn't remember. I don't know. I just threw out the word. I know it there. I know there's not 10. I'm just like a. I don't know. I don't know where any of these go. Where's my thumb? Go. This dude just looked at it and said, oh, I figured it out just by hearing it. Damn it. Anyway, Tommy Emanuel, you. You changed my life. You really set me back years and years and years. But in a couple hours, we'll be doing this show for a little while longer. Like, feeling good about myself again. And the ratings will come out and be like, take that, local radio stupid. You know, barely get through a sentence, let alone achievements. Anyway, enjoy your day. I'm done. I quit. That's enough. Yeah, we'll get into the fart stuff in a little while, but we can.
Dick Toledo
Be the best at that.
Brady
We're not gonna be farts. Be proud of whatever it is. You got to just be happy you didn't die today.
Dick Toledo
I made it to work.
Brady
Yeah, you'd be happy that you didn't kill anybody or yourself along the way. That everyone you're responsible for made it through another day. You got food and you're fine.
Listener
Perfect day. It's national pass gas day.
Brady
See, there you go. It's Fartech. See, this is what I'm dealing with. I just watched the greatest guitar player of all time, and I gotta sit across from this idiot, and he's got. In fairness, he's got to sit across from me. He's singing nothing great.
Dick Toledo
The greatest idiot in Phoenix.
Brady
If you want to put him up there, I'm. You know.
Listener
Thank you.
Brady
Much like jj, maybe four or five guys could beat him on the planet. Maybe. Then Brady started making that claim. You know, I can out idiot about every. On the other side of it, I'm telling you. Like, what's this guy talking about? Oh, he thinks he's the fifth biggest idiot on the world.
Dick Toledo
Him and Bill Cower have been hanging.
Brady
Out to you in half a sentence. I might be the best.
Listener
I'm old in the world of half sentences.
Brady
Top five. You proved it.
Listener
I'm the best.
Brady
Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm going to enter you in that. I'm going to enter you in that contest. Yeah. The cogent point made quickly and succinctly. Contest. Maybe in the top five.
Dick Toledo
John, it really does sound like you're becoming a Gilbert mom.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
Every child can achieve anything.
Brady
No, I didn't say that.
Dick Toledo
Everyone is special.
Brady
I never said that. No, I said the opposite of that. I'm a Maryvale mom. These kids are idiots. Put them in jail. I watched greatness. None of your kids have it. That's what I'm saying. And you can't just pick it up and do it. Everybody's capable of It. You won't. I know that already. I'm not talking to anybody. That's the facts, John.
Dick Toledo
I agree. When will people realize there is one mj, One tiger.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
You cannot just practice as much as them.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
Even Kobe. You'll never be them. You'll never. You have to have been blessed.
Brady
I don't believe that. I think you had to start and be obsessed when you were like three. I don't think being. I think being blessed is the excuse of the loser. I think, oh, I wasn't touched by it. No. You just didn't put the time in. And there are people that are going to be as good or great now. There's good. There's the people who are really good at stuff. But when you see greatness shows you greatness. It's like, holy Christ.
Listener
And there's some that are real. You know, pick something up and they're so far ahead of anyone else that's picking up.
Brady
Like Simone Biles. When you watch that, you're like, that's just different than anything I've ever seen in my life. And it. Because she's just blessed. She puts the time in. And we have to stop saying that about people. It's like, that's an excuse for us. Michael. Magic Johnson said that years ago. It used to piss him off all the time because they said he was blessed, he was gifted, it was natural. And he goes, I'm 10 hours a day at this. And everybody said, oh, Larry Bird had to work so hard. And he's like, it was racist. And it was the black guy basketball. He was born with it. The white guy, he worked outside. He had, you know, he's in French Lick, shooting into everything he could find because he just. He didn't have the natural skills. He had to work so hard. And Magic's like, that offended me. I worked as hard as anybody else at this game to be great at it. And he's right. We always use that blessed excuse. That's garbage.
Dick Toledo
John. You'll remember this from the Simpsons. Homer told Bart in an episode that he gets a guitar that if you aren't immediately good at something, quit.
Brady
Quit. I remember. Remember this, boy? I remember that if you're not great, and that's how most of us feel, it's like, I'm never gonna get this chalk it. Because, like Brett said, lazy.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Never put it in there. It's amazing. And I just like seeing it. Because when you're around it, it changes. But I get angry at it. And it's so. Because it's so rare. God, it's rare to see something that good. So we're so incredibly rare.
Dick Toledo
And I don't know about this, but can somebody please in that room give this man a hand job? You're killing me, Jewburg.
Brady
Here's the other thing. You want to know another one I saw that did this to me. Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance.
Dick Toledo
Oh, right.
Brady
I went to that going, ah, you know, I'm not gay, and wandered into the room and I was. I was screaming at the stage like I lost my mind. It was the most amazing human achievement I'd ever watched. All the other people up there doing that crazy Irish dancing. And you're like, this is pretty amazing stuff. Flannel comes out. The mother can fly. He's like. And he's the air. Like a fish out of water for like 10 seconds. I'm like, what? And then he comes up and he goes, look. Thank you all for coming to Lord of the Dance. I just celebrated my 73rd birthday. I'm like, oh, go f yourself. At the time, I was like, 28. I can do this. I'm never going to put that kind of time in, John. And better than all the great people that were already on the stage. You saw greatness and it made me stand up. It's incredible.
Dick Toledo
John. Another great Simpsons quote. Trying is the first step towards failure.
Brady
That's right. You never, ever, ever fail if you don't try. So true. Anyway, when you get a chance to see greatness, see it and then recognize what a waste you feel, you puddle of nothing. You carbon massive, absolute filth. Meanwhile, there's a guy out there going, homework's driving me nuts. While he towels off his yummy. Off his tummy to climb maybe. Or maybe not. Climb in the shower, looks in the mirror and go, I don't need to shave today. Yeah, screw it.
Big Dick Toledo
That's every morning.
Brady
That's every night. Every morning I gotta drag through another 10 minutes. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. And we'll scream it together. 5, 8, 5, 9. 800. That's the number. It's 98K. Upd. Wake up.
Dick Toledo
Hey, it's not weird.
Brady
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary
Episode Release Date: January 7, 2025
Episode Title: Seeing Australian Guitar Virtuoso Tommy Emmanuel Live Has John Feeling Like An Unaccomplished Slob And Sparks A Discussion On Greatness
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg and co-hosts Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo delve deep into the profound impact that witnessing a live performance by Australian guitar virtuoso Tommy Emmanuel had on their perceptions of self-worth and greatness.
The conversation kicks off as Brady recounts attending Tommy Emmanuel's concert at the Musical Instrument Museum (MIM) in Scottsdale. He describes the performance as an unparalleled display of human achievement and musical prowess.
Brady Bogen [02:35]: "What I saw was human achievement on display last night. What I saw was perfection... it was like the most amazing musical achievement I've ever witnessed."
Brady emphasizes Tommy Emmanuel's extraordinary skills, highlighting his ability to transform the guitar into a multi-instrumental masterpiece, effectively using his fingers to mimic drums and bass.
Brady's encounter with Tommy Emmanuel's performance triggers a wave of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy among the hosts. He openly expresses his sense of being an "unaccomplished slob" in comparison to the virtuoso musician.
Brady Bogen [02:24]: "I saw something last night that made me realize I've been wasting my time on the planet. I have achieved nothing. I am talentless. I am absolutely worthless."
This sentiment of personal failure resonates throughout the discussion, leading to a critical self-assessment among the hosts.
The hosts engage in a broader discussion about what constitutes greatness. They reference legendary figures across various fields to illustrate their points.
Brady Bogen [05:00]: "He was a drummer for a while and he used his guitar as an entire drum set. He plays by himself. It is the most... human achievement, the ability."
Examples mentioned include Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, and Simone Biles, each recognized for their unparalleled excellence in their respective domains.
Brady's admiration for Emmanuel's skill leads to a cascade of negative self-talk among the hosts. They engage in back-and-forth banter, expressing resentment and frustration over their perceived lack of achievement.
Brady Bogen [09:07]: "Enjoy your mundane life. We all should just go get ropes today. Let these great humans handle the Earth because we're... You're not special."
This segment showcases the hosts' struggle to reconcile their own lives with the extraordinary talents they observe in others.
The dialogue shifts towards introspection, with each host reflecting on their personal lives and accomplishments—or lack thereof. They discuss their attempts and failures in pursuing various interests, further exacerbating their feelings of inadequacy.
Brady Bogen [13:14]: "I'm done faking it. I'm done with bedtimes and I'm done with alarms. I'm a grownup, for crying out loud."
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to debating the role of ambition and sustained effort in achieving greatness. The hosts argue that greatness is attainable through relentless dedication, dismissing the notion of innate talent or divine intervention.
Brady Bogen [34:09]: "We look at other people and you say things like, oh, he was given a gift. He's been blessed, it was touched by God. No, he hasn't. You just didn't do anything."
They stress that with sufficient effort, anyone can reach similar heights, although they admit their own struggles with maintaining such dedication.
As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reconcile their admiration for exceptional talent with their ongoing personal challenges. They emphasize the rarity of true greatness and the lengths required to achieve it, all while maintaining their characteristic humor and self-deprecation.
Brady Bogen [43:24]: "We never, ever, ever fail if you don't try. So true."
The episode ends on a contemplative note, urging listeners to recognize and appreciate greatness while also acknowledging their own journeys and struggles.
Brady Bogen [02:35]: "What I saw was human achievement on display last night. What I saw was perfection..."
Brady Bogen [02:24]: "I have achieved nothing. I am talentless. I am absolutely worthless."
Brady Bogen [34:09]: "You just didn't do anything."
Brady Bogen [43:24]: "We never, ever, ever fail if you don't try."
Tommy Emmanuel's Performance: Served as a catalyst for the hosts to evaluate their own lives and achievements critically.
Perception of Greatness: Defined not just by talent but by relentless effort and dedication.
Self-Reflection: The hosts grapple with feelings of inadequacy, highlighting the universal struggle between admiration for others and self-worth.
Encouragement vs. Despair: While the episode primarily leans into self-deprecation, it indirectly encourages listeners to strive for greatness through persistent effort.
This episode offers a candid and introspective look into the dynamics of self-perception influenced by witnessing exceptional talent. Through humor and honest dialogue, the hosts navigate their feelings of inadequacy while exploring the essence of what it means to be truly great.