Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Episode Summary

Date: January 7, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Highlights: Ravens fire John Harbaugh, Cliff Kingsbury’s future, Matt Khalil’s lawsuit, “giant junk” gossip, psychic predictions (aliens & volcanoes), rabbit holes on Vegas shooting conspiracy theories, philosophical rants on happiness & trolling.

Main Theme

The morning’s energy is electric as John celebrates the firing of Ravens coach John Harbaugh, sparking wide-ranging discussions driven by bitterness, rivalry, and the joy that comes from seeing one’s enemies fall. From NFL shakeups, relationship drama, and bizarre lawsuits, the show blends sports banter, dark humor, and philosophical insights—capped off by wild psychic predictions and a deep dive into conspiracy theories about the Las Vegas shooting.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. John’s Elation Over Harbaugh’s Firing

• John’s mood dominates the early part: He euphorically describes how much pleasure he takes from the Ravens’ failure and Harbaugh’s removal—a feeling long awaited as a Steelers fan.
  • Quote: “I haven’t touched the ground for days. This is amazing.” — John (01:37)
  • His happiness is self-admittedly petty, and he acknowledges relishing in his enemy’s downfall.
  • Playful speculation on where Harbaugh might land next (Tampa, New Orleans, Raiders—Harbaugh Bowl potential).
  • Deep loathing for the Ravens: “The thing I hate more than anything in the world, which is the Ravens. Oh, just so nice.” (03:58)
    • He even jokes about wishing natural disasters would hit Baltimore (06:37).

2. Cliff Kingsbury Career Moves & Ex-Wife Talk

• Noting Kingsbury’s abrupt job resignation, John and crew wonder if he’ll replace Harbaugh in Baltimore:
  • Kingsbury as OC vs. head coach suitability.
  • Musings about how Lamar Jackson could be picking his coach.
• Kingsbury’s breakup with Polish model Veronica Bialik is dissected; hosts mock the “insanity” of letting a woman that beautiful go.
  • Brett: “You know what that tells me? She’s nuts. Because you’ll put up with an awful lot.” (07:06)

3. Rants on Envy, Trolling, and Joy in Rivalry

• John philosophizes about the happiness found in others' misery, the freedom of trolls, and internet culture:
  • “Trolls aren’t unhappy people. Trolls are the happiest people you know.” — John (10:08)
• The show equates sports schadenfreude with social trolling: “Find hate. Start hating something today that looks like it’s about to crumble.” (09:31)
• John and Byron discuss the psychology of trolling, the cycle of pain and happiness, and the endorphin rush of riling people up.
  • “Troll cane’s very real…and you give it to them all the time.” — John (11:32)

4. NFL Misery Index & Cardinals Pessimism

• Cardinals fans are painted as hopeless for wanting Harbaugh or expecting success.
• John spirals into a darkly humorous rant about the misery of Baltimore, comparing it to Cleveland, mocking their accent and culture:
  • “Baltimore’s awful. It’s a brackish water swamp of dumpster fire human beings…They all look like Dennis Franz if you dipped them in motor oil.” — John (15:55)
• Suggests John Gruden for the Cardinals, dismisses idea Harbaugh would settle for a losing franchise.

5. Matt Khalil Lawsuit Over Ex-Wife’s “Huge Junk” Comments

• NFL ex-lineman Khalil sues his former wife for publicly discussing his (allegedly) gigantic penis.
  • Crew jokes every man would want that rumor, but agree that the lawsuit is about spite, not privacy.
  • John: “He just hates her. He just wants to hurt her.” (28:01)
  • Mocking scenarios arise: would the court need to view the evidence? Brands Khalil could endorse: Ream Air Conditioning, plumbing companies.

6. Psychic Predictions & 2026 Disasters

• John runs through annual psychic predictions, this year including:
  • Aliens contacting Earth
  • Major volcanic activity
  • Earthquakes
• Hosts lampoon psychic accuracy, compare it to Mel Kiper’s 17% NFL Draft hit rate (31:18).
  • Byron: “Would you put them in line with Mel Kiper?”
  • John: “17%...People still give him tons of money to be 17% accurate. That’s not right.” (31:20)
• Insightful riff about how people ignore natural warnings (lava, volcanoes, hurricanes) and Instagram’s role in encouraging risky behavior near disasters.

7. Conspiracy Deep-Dive: Las Vegas Shooting

• Brett describes falling down a podcast/Vegas shooting rabbit hole—suggesting the event was not as reported.
  • Theorizes that Stephen Paddock may have been dead before the shootings ended, helicopters involved, Saudi connections, multiple shooters.
  • Brett: “He was probably dead while the shootings were still happening. They’re saying there were helicopters in the air.” (38:00)
  • John worries about AI muddying new conspiracy info, the risks of knowing too much.
  • Creepy pattern of witnesses dying mysteriously after the event (“car accidents, like, a couple months later and stuff.” — Brett, 48:09)
• The hosts wrestle with how much they want to know (“Sometimes I don’t want to know.” — Brett, 46:20), and how authorities might use “false flags” for distraction.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On pure sports hatred:
  • “Find hate. Start hating something today that looks like it’s about to crumble. And you’ll be…Why do you think trolls are all over the Internet?” — John (09:31)
• On Lamar Jackson’s look as face of the franchise:
  • “His face is the problem there…and that doesn’t matter what color you are. He’s just an ugly man.” — John (08:46)
• On psychic predictions & disasters:
  • “January, the first couple weeks of January, the psychics are all out…” — John (30:09)
• On being blissfully ignorant:
  • “You think happy and stupid sometimes is a little bit better.” — John (43:00)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:40–06:49: John’s celebration over Harbaugh’s firing; Ravens/Steelers rivalry
• 06:49–08:45: Cliff Kingsbury’s career/love life, Bialik ex-girlfriend jokes
• 09:12–12:25: The psychology of trolling, joy in rival demise
• 13:28–16:39: NFL rivalry rants, Baltimore vs. Cleveland
• 22:12–30:09: Matt Khalil lawsuit over ex-wife’s comments about his anatomy
• 30:09–36:43: Psychic predictions for 2026 (aliens, volcanoes, earthquakes), questioning of psychic and NFL draft experts’ accuracy
• 37:45–48:25: Conspiracy theories about the Las Vegas shooting, psychology of not wanting to know, government “false flags”

Overall Tone & Conclusion

The episode maintains the show’s signature irreverence, sharp wit, and gleeful cynicism. The hosts blend relatable sports rage with biting social commentary, comedy, and a dash of paranoia. Schticks about rivalry, the absurdity of NFL fandom, the endless potential for conspiracy, and the comforting ignorance of not always knowing the truth keep the energy high and the laughs coming—perfect for fans and newcomers alike who thrive on the intersection of sports, skepticism, and dark humor.