01-07-26 - Reactions Emails On Las Vegas Shooting Conspiracy Theory Rabbit Hole Of Bret's - Lawsuit Settled After Family's Disabled Child Was Still Alive After Being Sent To Coroner

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Jan 7, 2026

Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness features John Holmberg, with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, navigating a typically wild set of discussions. The crew dives into listener reactions to their recent conversation on the Las Vegas shooting conspiracy theories, muses about societal distrust and erasure tactics (notably the “kid diddler” phenomenon), unpacks a bizarre medical lawsuit involving a mispronounced dead disabled child, and banters about family secrets, cover-ups, and NFL news.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Las Vegas Shooting & Conspiracy Theory Rabbit Holes

Segment begins: 01:17

• Listener reactions flood in regarding Bret’s rabbit hole dive into the Las Vegas shooting and its unanswered questions, notably the ammo and weapon procurement.
  • Holmberg: "Man, oh man, you don't want to get into this..." (01:23)
  • Holmberg expresses skepticism over suspicious details like hotel security, the ease of moving so much ammunition, and automatic weapons.
• The team dissects how the shooter's brother was quickly undermined by allegations of child pornography, shutting down his credibility as a potential witness.
  • Holmberg: "Can't a dude who diddles kids also witness something and know something about another thing?...The second you say 'he’s got some child porn,' two things can be true at once." (02:22)

Notable Quote

Holmberg (02:22): "Two things can be true at once. A dude who diddles kids can also hold the key to unlocking a massive door, but will never, ever listen to him. Right?"

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2. “Kid Diddler” As An Erasure Tool in Society

Segment begins: 03:52

• The show debates how associating someone with the most vile of crimes (child sexual abuse) is the ultimate way to erase them as a credible source, regardless of what they know.
  • Example: Compares this defamation tactic to what happened with Jose Canseco (regarding steroids in baseball), noting how whistleblowers often get painted as crazy to discredit truth.
  • Holmberg: "...the only man that can ensure your freedom fiddles with kids genitals. So you're going to jail for a long time." (05:13)
• They riff darkly on how, in hypothetical situations, having only a “kid diddler” as your witness would doom your case.

Notable Quotes

Holmberg (04:20): "I always do that with conspiracies because that was the first time in my life it mattered to me was with the steroid era in baseball and one dude that was shouting from the rooftop... Everything that dude [Canseco] said was true."

Holmberg (05:13): "Could you imagine if I was in the middle of something and the only person that can free me is Father Dale from St. Tim's? ...I'm done."

Memorable Moment

• Running joke: Imagining a band called "The Heroic Kid Diddlers" and their (non-)success.
  • Dane: "Great band name. Heroic Kid Diddlers." (07:55)
  • Holmberg: "No, not a good. That's actually a terrible thing. I put it on the list still for 2026." (07:58)

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3. Family Secrets: Brady’s “Conspiring” Family

Segment begins: 09:22

• The crew teases Brady about his family’s colorful and mysterious past – in vitro fertilization stories, hidden affairs, and never-asked questions about lineage.
  • Holmberg recounts: The family story of a possibly gay uncle, sperm donations, and in vitro confusion, with everyone simply “accepting” odd events. (09:32–14:36)
  • The refusal to question strange family lore is compared to society’s tendency to ignore difficult truths for comfort.
• Holmberg calls Brady’s household “the biggest conspiracy in all of America” (13:49) and jokes about the number of family secrets compared to Bret’s supposed Italian mob connections.

Notable Quotes

Holmberg (13:49): "You are the biggest conspiracy in all of America. What went on in Upper Arlington with the Bogan household?"

Holmberg (10:41): "The nurse... worked with the doctor and said, 'Can I borrow your sperms?' And the doctor's like, 'Yes, but only in a scientific manner. I would never have sex with one of my nurses. That's gross.'"

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4. Medical Lawsuit: Disabled Child Incorrectly Pronounced Dead

Segment begins: 16:25

• News story: A Detroit family was awarded $3.25 million after their severely disabled daughter was pronounced dead, body-bagged, sent to the mortuary, then “came back to life.”
  • Holmberg leans into dark comedy, referencing the bizarre appearance of the “potato kids” Brady follows online and riffing on what the coroner and family might have thought at each stage.
  • Banter: Comparing the situation to Monty Python’s “I’m not dead yet!” sketch.
  • They discuss the rush of EMTs, the mistakes (especially during the COVID era), and ethical issues about life and death versus payout money.
• Holmberg jokes about the “relief” some parents might feel as caretakers and how a windfall might alter their patience if their child came back to life.

Notable Quotes

Holmberg (17:55): "They zip her up, put her in the body bag and drop her off at the mortuary to go get cut up to find out what the hell planet she was from... And then they got $3.25 million for the mistake, for the goof."

Holmberg (20:30): "If it came back, God damn. That would probably been like when they knock on the door after it comes back. What do you want? Your child came back to life… What were you painting? Yeah, I'm painting the room. Making a man cave. I thought this thing was over."

Memorable Moment

• The panel acts out the hypothetical—building a man cave, learning the child is alive again, and reluctantly undoing renovations for accessibility (22:39).

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5. NFL & Underdog Fantasy Sports Banter

Segment begins: 29:09

• Brief celebratory tangent marking drummer Neil Peart’s death anniversary, with a nod to Rush's “Tom Sawyer.”
• Quick run-through of the NFL playoff situation, cap space woes (especially Lamar Jackson and the Ravens), and QB speculation for the Steelers.
  • Holmberg (30:49): "$72 million is 26% of your payroll. And it’s going to jump. Do you keep them or do you just start all over?"

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6. Emails & The Risk of Public Conspiracy Theorizing

Segment begins: 25:55

• The show reads more emails cautioning the crew to avoid “Alex Jones territory.”
• They riff on how real conspiracy talk is quickly stamped out; if you dig into Saudi-owned alfalfa farms in Arizona, you’ll find yourself “erased” by scandal. (26:57)
  • Holmberg jokes about how easily controversial topics are swept aside, noting media, distraction tactics, and the commodification of public outrage.

Notable Quotes

Holmberg (27:03): "You know, that's like 30% of the Colorado river is dedicated to these alfalfa fields for Saudi Arabia. And it was like, ignore it. Okay."

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Memorable Quotes with Timestamps

• Holmberg (02:22): "Two things can be true at once... Isn't it awful that we will automatically, like, this guy might hold a secret to something incredibly important, but the second you say 'he's got child porn,' ...we will never hear anything from a guy."
• Holmberg (07:58): (On band names) "Heroic kid Diddler is not a good band."
• Holmberg (13:49): (Joking about Brady’s family) "You are the biggest conspiracy in all of America. What went on in Upper Arlington with the Bogan household?"
• Holmberg (17:55): "And they got $3.25 million for the mistake, for the goof. She opened her eyes and the body bag was unzipped to, like, cut it open. They unzip it and it goes, 'thank you.'"
• Holmberg (20:30): "What do you want? Your child came back to life…What were you painting?... I thought this thing was over."
• Holmberg (27:03): "You know, that's like 30% of the Colorado river is dedicated to these alfalfa fields for Saudi Arabia. And it was like, ignore it. Okay."
• Holmberg (30:49): "$72 million is 26% of your payroll. And it's going to jump."

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Timestamps for Major Topics

| Timestamp | Topic | |-------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:17 | Vegas shooting rabbit hole and conspiracy responses | | 03:52 | "Kid diddler" as a method of erasing credibility | | 07:55 | Heroic Kid Diddler – band name joke | | 09:22-14:36 | Unpacking family secrets and refused questions (Brady’s family saga) | | 16:25 | Detroit lawsuit: disabled child pronounced dead, then found alive | | 20:30+ | Hypothetical scenarios, man caves, and dark parental comedy | | 25:55 | Listener emails – the danger of public conspiracies, Saudi alfalfa farms | | 27:03 | Speculation on Saudi farming and cover-ups in Arizona | | 29:09 | NFL banter, Neil Peart/Rush tribute, playoff talk, Steelers/Burrow speculation |

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Final Thoughts

The episode is quintessentially irreverent and off-kilter: the hosts bounce between real world news, dark societal observations, and personal histories, always veering into edgy, sometimes uncomfortable laughter. They dissect how society erases inconvenient voices, joke through taboo topics, and never shy from poking fun at themselves or each other—producing a whirlwind of morning radio chaos that manages to be both thought-provoking and outrageous.

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For more, tune in weekdays at 98KUPD or visit 98kupd.com.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

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[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.

[A]

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[C]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my new [e-mail]. here's the proof that me talking about something on the radio can be trusted, because I purchased a 2024 customized Ford Bronco from the gang at Lifted Trucks. That opened my eyes to who and what these guys are all about. They not only have thousands of trucks to choose from, they also have nationwide shipping, and they can get anything anywhere. My Bronco's been customized. Countless other pro athletes and celebrities. Little old me choose Lifted Trucks and Lifted Trucks Dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder. Sickness, You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

No, no, he's not.

[C]

He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. My God. And now you got him. Now you got him fired up. Brett. Way to go. My emails are all I brought up. The idea that there's stuff out there. The Vegas shooting thing is just flying into my emails now. And I know, I know everybody's got a thought on something, but man, oh, man, you don't want to get into this as even Alex. Like, I'm not a big conspiracy guy. One thing I'm wondering is who gave the guy all the ammo and fully automatic weapons? That's the thing I always look at with that Vegas shooting things do. Just walking into the with bags of ammunition and long guns in those bags.

[A]

I think they say like 4,000 rounds. And that's not light.

[C]

No carrying, that's hard. So you got to get like a guy to give you one of those rollers and heavy. You know, it just seems strange. Like, if I'm in a casino, I kind of notice giant duffel bags that.

[D]

The Bellhopper made a lot of money to the valley.

[A]

Good.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. You got to. You got to be good about it. Who knows? But I. And that's my next thing is, do I want to get in on this? But I do. That's the worst part about this conspiracy stuff, whether you believe it or not. And then, like you said, they brought up the idea that the guy's brother was saying certain things, Mouthing off the shooter's brother. And then they automatically, once he got a little too noisy, pinned him with like, oh, you know, he's got child porn in his history. Here's my horrible take of the day. Can't a dude who diddles kids also witness something and know something about another thing? Isn't it awful that we will automatically, like, this guy might hold a secret to something incredibly important, but the second you say, you know, he's got some child porn born, two things can be true at once. A dude who diddles kids can also hold the key to unlocking a massive door, but will never, ever listen to him. Right? Yeah. So they automatically pin something terrible in people because they know society will never hear anything from a guy. You could solve the Kennedy assassination. And if the guy's like, he's on to us. And all you have to do is they find a kid picture with him and we can end this because society will not hear him out. You can't. Two things can be true at once. The worst thing you could ever have happen is, let's say somebody jumps out of the bushes and robs Brett and attacks him and screams, alk bar. And says something about wanting to blow up the airport and all that and runs away. And Brett's. Larry's like, oh, what happened? And the only guy that witnessed it is Jared from Subway. Nobody's gonna listen to your problem.

[A]

No, you're right.

[C]

And he starts, that's Jared, though. Yeah, that guy. He could see it. He could be a witness to a horrible crime. But the second you say, you know he did those kids, like, ugh, don't listen to his account. It's so fast. But it is true. Kid diddlers. They just can't be heroic ever. So even if they are in a situation to be a hero, the second that gets tied back to him, the whole thing goes away. And they put that on that dude's brother lickety split. Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They Said, you can't listen to him. I'm surprised I didn't do it to Jose Canseco back in the day for the baseball deal. I always do that with conspiracies because that was the first time in my life it mattered to me was with the steroid era in baseball and one dude that was shouting from the rooftop screaming, this has been going on the whole time. This is. They're all lying. This and that. They painted him with every crazy brush they could so you would just dismiss him. And it turned out everything, everything Jose Canseco said was true. Everything. He didn't help himself with the crazy white contacts and he went a little nuts with his surgeries and everything. Look, he's going nuts. But everything that dude said was true. And it kind of made me always say, the dude that's yelling might be telling the truth. That is a terrible take, but it is true. Kid diddlers can be good witnesses. That is true. The only man that can ensure your freedom fiddles with kids genitals. So you're going to jail for a long time. It's like, wait a minute, he saw everything. Yeah, but who's gonna listen to that? Oh my God. My life is in the hands of a kid diddler. I mean, could you imagine if I was in the middle of something and the only person that can free me is Father Dale from St. Tim's No1 is my only ally. I'm done.

[D]

That's what they do all day long. And little kids that or it's just they have a rap sheet. Oh, rap sheet several times. So his credibility, his credibility is a little shot.

[C]

Kid diddlings right out. Whenever somebody, whenever somebody labels a free man a kid diddler and then they don't arrest him for it, I automatically assume that was to get all of his information, to erase him. You can have a guy who's on your team who doesn't have a good track record, that isn't going to help you. But the second it's kid diddling, you're going to jail. You can be the most innocent man in the world and you get wrapped up in some sort of a mess and people think you did something and the only guy that can free you, they say, you know, he touched kids once or he had some porn on his computer. He's, you're done. He's the only person that kid diddlers can be good witnesses. That's what I'm saying. Who saw it? I think over there in the bushes with the googly eyes. He Looks nocturnal, almost. Oh, the Kid Diddler. This isn't good.

[A]

The guy talking to Chris Hansen over.

[C]

There, that's the guy that did it. The guy with the coke and the rubbers and the cookies. I just thought she was. She said she was. I was. All right, well, you're free to go. And then the Kid Diddler gets arrested. He can't. You can't have it. But when in society do we do that? Only when it makes it so. You want someone erased? You erase somebody by saying that immediately. By planting or putting or finding a picture of kids in anybody's computer or phone, they're done. Everything they say for and probably should be. But everything they say for the. From that day forward is meaningless. Because if that does the ultimate like. Well, we'll never listen to you again. It's brutal.

[A]

As I said, f. Yeah. John, you're waking up finally.

[C]

Well, don't do that. No, no. Look, I'm sleepy. I got one eye open, and the other one's always. I've got that. You know when kids get that pus eye thing, and that's staying that way. I'm not opening both eyes. I'm peeking. I have a little interest. But it's true. Kid Diddlers can have. They can be good witnesses, too.

[A]

Dane said, great band name. Heroic Kid Diddlers.

[C]

No, not a good. That's actually a terrible thing. I put it on the list still for 20, 26. But heroic kid Diddler is not a good band. Hello. We are the Heroic Kid Diddlers.

[D]

Yeah. No one's buying tickets.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Eyewitness Diddler. That's. Yeah. But again, once you have. They paint that brush. Whenever I hear that brush get painted, I'm like, well, why won't we arrest him? Why is he still free if we knew this about him?

[D]

We're Diddler on the roof.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. I like that. On the roof. Don't celebrate it, Brady. Let's just let it breathe. Let's not start going down avenues where we're reaching. But I like that one. But, yeah. If a guy's not in jail and then has something to say and then suddenly. Yeah, but he has. Why isn't he in jail? Then I automatically think that something's being made up about him. And like, oh, they're painting him with that brush so we don't listen to him. That makes me want to listen to him. And then I'm like, I have lost my mind, and I need to go back to Bradyland and just Wander around and go, why am I doing this?

[D]

It's better.

[C]

It's better there. Better over there. Or is it. I don't know. I don't think my brain has too many questions. Brady didn't like asking questions. It's one thing religion gave you that I both hate and love. Don't ask questions. Don't question it. You've been told that. It must be a thing. It's just. Keep moving.

[D]

Depends on the topic.

[C]

Yeah, well, for the most part, though.

[D]

You don't have to like talking about that. I'm not asking questions about the.

[C]

Your dad being in Cuba during the revolution. You didn't ask any questions. I mean, there's a lot of things you just. Man, you just take it at face value. It's easier that way. It's easier.

[A]

Your uncle and the. The landscape.

[C]

Yeah, the uncle in the landscape. Your whole family went, yeah, that seems about right. Wait, the landscaper laying down, taking a nap with anyone in the house. And you guys are like, yeah, that's right. He got married later. He's not gay. There was plenty of nap times with landscapers back then. No, there was. He's gay. And you guys still are like, nah, he had wives and stuff. He's still.

[D]

My aunt was on the. You know, one of the first people to do the in vitro. The kids.

[C]

Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. And you didn't ask questions. The whole family was like, that's right. But your gay uncle, his wife had two kids with a doctor, and it was his sperm.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was kind enough to donate.

[C]

He donated sperms. And they did it clinically. That's what your family believed and still did up until a few years ago when the kids of that family said, this doesn't add up. Our dad was a homosexual. And they found out that was her real dad, Right?

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah. And they still believe it was in vitro.

[D]

Yes, according to my aunt.

[C]

Yeah. The one who had him.

[D]

The nurse.

[C]

Right, right. Who worked with this doctor and said, can I borrow your sperms? And the doctor's like, yes, but only in a scientific manner. I would never have sex with one of my nurses. That's gross. Doctors don't do that. And you just take it at face value and you walk away. That's a great story. In the Bogan household that every single one of them went, that makes sense. Okay, never talk about that. Keep moving, keep moving. There's plenty to see here. It's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness. [e-mail] the NFL playoffs are set and.

[E]

I know my team's in and underdog is where I'll make watching them the best way to get in on the action. It's Dick Toledo from the Morning Sickness and playing on underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats. My team is on a first round bye, but I'll be pulling for Saquon Kittle and Josh Allen to all go higher on their projections. Play the playoffs with me and download the app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code HMS Underdog Make Picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms dfs underscore HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call 24. 7, Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY to 467-369-SICKNESS.

[C]

Look at that trees. And we got a raccoon in the attic. We're gonna go play with that for a minute.

[D]

You know, amazes. My dad did that, you know, years ago, the 23andMe. I think he was the first one. And he was looking up the ancestry, the line, the bogan, the German side of it. And he goes, you know, our family might also have some. We might have some Jewish relatives.

[C]

Yeah. Now the doctor was Jewish, is that right?

[A]

Yeah, there we go.

[C]

I'm like, well, you need 23 me for that. There we go.

[D]

I know.

[C]

Just a couple of questions.

[D]

He's like, because there are. Yeah, I mean there's bogans in Germany that were Jewish. And he says that could be the line.

[C]

But no, wasn't doctor that was feeding your aunt a bunch of seed through a tube, he says, and nobody knew it was in vitro. She didn't make like a big deal out of it. We're having kids. We got to do it through science.

[D]

That's what I asked my mom. Like, when isn't that kind of huge back then?

[C]

And mom never had any questions. She just showed up pregnant, didn't tell anybody. We did it this crazy new way.

[D]

With the doctors Said that, you know.

[C]

Years later, after the J guy's gone. Yeah, yeah. Was he dead?

[D]

One more thing. I don't know if he was.

[C]

Okay. Wasn't it when he died?

[D]

See, but that one's out. He's not.

[C]

Every. Every couple months, we get a new thing from Brady. The whole. It's unbelievable. The whole family's in on it. The biggest conspiracies in this country.

[A]

You need to be on Tucker Carlson.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

The biggest. You need to be interviewed by Rogan. And I've tried as hard as I can. We need a professional in on this. I mean, I've gotten a lot out of you, and I think I've made you think a little bit on a few of these, but, man, oh, man, you are. You are the biggest conspiracy in all of America. What went on in Upper Arlington with the Bogan household? Because there's the daughters that found out. Sure, sure.

[D]

But, you know, the 23.

[C]

The fact that they didn't know they were in vitro.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Because they were covering up an affair. Not the kids, the parents. For so long. And also by covering up the affair, covering up the homosexuality of their father.

[D]

Oh, no, everyone knew about it.

[C]

You guys. Yeah. You guys all hate when someone rational says, oh, they're covering up an affair because she had married a homosexual. No, no. It was in vitro fertilization. And then he did it again.

[D]

He kept it the whole time. Because he got remarried once or twice, actually. He was the. More like Steve the comedian in. What is it? Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

[C]

Oh, Steve Martin.

[D]

He found some rich.

[C]

Sure. Yeah. We raided their money.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And lived a good life. Yeah. It funded his homosexual lifestyle with a woman that wouldn't care. She just wanted some company. You can be plenty of closeted homosexuals died with wives.

[D]

Sure.

[C]

Especially back then. And kids. The divorces, multiple.

[D]

He was a good domestic partner.

[C]

He just kept it going. So long. You didn't touch kids. Because then this word is is. It's ruined. Yeah. I always look at that stuff and I'm like, oh, they're painting it.

[D]

You would have been a good witness.

[C]

They're doing the Diddler brush on a guy, and they're not putting him in jail. That tells me an awful lot. Did the brother ever go to jail? They just attacked that guy.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He was just. He was just automatically just.

[C]

Yeah, he lived in a trailer and they took weird shots of his house, made us all go, oh, he's a loser. Likes kids, no matter what he said. And he had some serious insight into this thing can't go asking them. Diddlers. You got to get rid of that. I also saw in the news last night that they had. They settled in a Detroit courtroom, a case for $3.25 million, where one of the people. And I don't want to sound too rude about this, but one of the people Brady would have followed on Instagram, they thought that they were like, one of them real crippled people. What, you like Kaiser Salsa? No, no, no, no, no. Like the ones you like. Not people with a limp.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Ones whose heads are on backwards or they're lumps. Yeah, I'll show you. I'll show you the picture of it. You'd follow.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I follow him.

[C]

Yeah. It's a woman, by the way. This thing's a mess, right? So it stops breathing. And the coroner comes by and I'm like, I'm so sorry, your potato is dead. And they're like, it's not a potato. Sorry. Whatever that thing is in there, it's not breathing. What are you, pet euthanasia? I'm not sure what this is. And so they can zip. They zip her up, put her in the body bag and drop her off at the mortuary to go get cut up to find out what the hell planet she was from. And she goes in the bag. And they bagged her up, kept her in there. The parents put her, drove her all the way over there, and they're like, she's not dead yet. Like, good God, it came back to life. And they put it back in the parents house. Said, sorry about that. Your potato jumped back to life. But some sort of life force from one of its alien ships probably shot down a beam or something. It's a human being. I've seen human beings, and that is not what this is. And it came back to life. And then they got $3.25 million for the mistake, for the goof. She opened her eyes and the body bag was unzipped to, like, cut it open. They unzip it and it goes, thank you. Like, oh, my God, that thing's. And I would have just gone on the top of the head and taken it out. Like, I'm gonna do this thing a favor.

[A]

Sounds like Monty Python.

[C]

I'm not dead yet. Come on.

[A]

He's almost dead.

[C]

He's not dead yet. He's just about dead.

[D]

That's funny, because we've had multiple stories over the years of that happening. Yeah, but Grandma's pronounced dead. But they didn't come back and sue, you know, oh, she's dead.

[C]

But to one of these things.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, one of your. You know, one of your cool little side projects that you dig checking out the algorithm. Brady algorithm, that they kind of rushed it. No, they didn't. If you look at the thing, it's like it didn't have a heartbeat. It wasn't breathing. It's just laying there all crippled up, like, yeah, we didn't think this thing would make it as long as it did. Everybody's probably saying that, like, yeah, well, when it was born, they said it would live six months, and here we are. It's like 20. That's pretty good run. And then they zipped it up. They zipped it right back up and said, yeah, it's been a good run. Take it away.

[D]

Now. If it happens and they call, we, she's dead. Yeah, we're not going.

[C]

We're coming over your house. Yeah, sure. She's dead. Months. We're gonna wait months. I'm just gonna stare at that thing. It's like, it seems dead. It has to start to stink and rot for me to go. All right, we're ready. $3.25 million. Still not worth being a potato, but almost. I mean, this is. It's not good. It says Brady has more family secrets that he doesn't talk about than Brett and his Italian mob family. It's true. Yeah. Brett's secrets are like, we got nothing.

[D]

He doesn't talk about it.

[C]

We never had a fajol in the family. If we do, we don't. You know, we ain't saying. Certainly not giving out the deets anyway. Yeah. So 3.25 million, they said. We recognize that no resolution can undo the profound tragedy that occurred back in 2020. Plus it was 2020, by the way, was also height of COVID where doctors were, like, run and scrambling for everything. And that thing going to a hospital wasn't going to be good. They said the case involved extraordinarily difficult circumstances that arose in the complex world of global pandemics. They called 91 1, when the little thing was trying to breathe real hard and the medical crew tried to resuscitate her and also consulted a doctor on, like, where's its lungs? What is this thing? And. And they offer accidentally. And then back she came. You think your parents would be happy that that would be it?

[D]

Yeah. Well, like, you.

[A]

What, that you came back.

[D]

So it must.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know, Brett. You and I as parents would be like, after we left the hospital. Thank God. That's.

[A]

Yeah. No Kidding. And if it came back, God damn.

[C]

It, that would probably been like when they knock on the door after it comes back. What do you want? Your. Your child came back to life. What were you painting? Yeah, I'm painting the room. Making a man cave. I thought this thing was over.

[D]

The hell?

[C]

I finally took all the rails out of the showers.

[A]

Now I'm good.

[C]

How is it?

[D]

It's amazing. They're full because it had to have no pulse. Flatline.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

How could that be the fault of the. You know.

[C]

I don't know. They sacked it up early. You can't go doing that. They found her alive in a body bag. And maybe, you know, and that's not fair either, because she's, like a 1% of the population. So as well trained as EMTs and paramedics and doctors are, when something that goofed up comes in and isn't breathing, you got to assume like, well, does this thing, like, stop? Like bulldogs, Sometimes they just do something. You're like, is that normal? Like, that's just them breathing. And you're like, that's not good. None of the other dogs do that. It's kind of with people, with their potato people. They start doing stuff. You're like, that's normal, I think. I don't know what's going on. It doesn't breathe for, like an hour at a time.

[D]

Does it usually have no pulse?

[C]

It lives underwater all the time.

[D]

That happens. Kills.

[C]

What the hell that is? You don't know? Maybe it's. Maybe it's a little anomaly.

[D]

It's coded before about six or seven minutes.

[C]

Every six or seven months, your heart just quits working. For when? We give it an hour or two, then we call you guys. It's not normal, but 3.25 million, and that's it. We have some fantastic news for you, Mr. Pocom. Yeah. Would you please put the paintbrushes down for a second? Yeah. Is that a neon sign that says Ravens? It is. Anyway, your potato. Potato person came back to life, and we've got her in the car. You did what now? I was kind of counting on $3.25 million. It's gonna have one hell of a man cave. I just called Meathead over at Prestige. I got a pool table rolling up and a golden tea. There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[A]

Ain't that a bitch? Now who's gonna pay for all this?

[C]

Somebody paid for this. I spent $3.25 million on this. I'm sorry, sir. Here's your potato.

[A]

Is that your new Hellcat in the garage?

[C]

Yes, it is, man. Insurance. I got insurance. We're gonna have to give that back because here's the potato. Aren't you thrilled? Aren't you a thrilled parent? All right, wheeler ass up here. I just poured over new steps on our ramps. I got to bring those back. This is gonna cost me a fortune, sir.

[A]

3.5 million. You couldn't replace the batteries and fire alarms.

[C]

What's going on here? God damn it. What if there's a fire the potato person can't get? She ain't getting out, even if that thing works, if I ain't home. And potato. I mean, my daughter's upstairs. Anyway, I hate to be rude, but 3.25 million when I have a game room. Potato people, hold on. It ain't breathing again. Give it an hour. Mm. By the way, I get $3.25 million for falsely saying you're dead. I might bag Brady up pretty much every couple days now, see if we can scam this system for a little bit. Like a couple Somali daycare workers.

[D]

I've seen it in, like, Mission Impossible. I think that they give a person.

[C]

That pill, and they. They die, and then. But they're coming back, and they bag them up, and they can figure out how to get out. I was in that body bag on Halloween just for about 11 or 12 minutes and even have the thing cracked open so I could breathe. It's awful.

[A]

Oh, is it creepy?

[C]

Well, it's creepy because, you know, it's a body bag.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So like your brain's raptor. But I was stuck in that. Not, you know, like, I wasn't put in there. I got in. It wasn't somebody stuffing me in there because I was too sleepy. I knew what was going on. And even still inside of it, I'm like, oh, you bang around like crazy, you know, unless you're a tater. But once they opened that thing up and those eyes were open, you're like, Jesus Christ, the poor mortician. Oh, my God. Was it like this when you put it in the bag? Because it is messed up. What if it wasn't like that and they brought it back to you? That away? It came back to life. But there's been some changes. That's a potato now. Poor people with potato kits. There had to be some deep down inside, some piece of mind that said, that's over. I'm so sad. I'm so. Don't get Me wrong. That's so sad. So sad. But. Oof. A little weight off my shoulders there that. I don't have potato person here anymore. Who could that be? She's back, but she's got a healthy. Check that one.

[A]

I got a ring camera. I'm not answering the door.

[C]

Potatoes. You're not gonna believe this. Our daughter's out on the porch begging on the door.

[A]

Duck down.

[C]

Duck down like we at home. I'll auto start the car. It's a Hellcat. That's too loud. She'll hear it. Listen to that purr. If she comes back, we've got to sell the Hellcat. Turn the lights out. I already got the cruise booked. Going on the cruise. Turn the lights out. She'll be all right. She'll just die again. She's back. She's dead again. She's on the porch. Oh, Carnival. Yeah.

[A]

No, now we gotta cancel.

[C]

And now you can't even make that call again. Oh, I think she's dead again. Well, don't make that mistake twice. Well, if we call early enough, maybe get another 3 million, bag it up. I don't want to seem insensitive, but since I am, there's nothing I can do about it. Sorry about that, folks. It's not my problem. I'm just happy the Ravens are in turmoil and you can't bring me down. That is a fact. I'm getting a lot of emails from people on this now. Brett, nice job. Way to go. This guy says, careful with conspiracy talk, boys. Alex Jones got his billion dollar business taken from him. And I convinced it wasn't because everything he was wrong about, like Sandy Hook. It was because a lot of the stuff he did was right. See, and that's the other thing.

[A]

But he was stating opinions. We're not crazy. It's interesting to hear.

[C]

Oh, no. I thought what we talked about off there, it's like, no, you firmly believe this is a Saudi operation. That's true. You said those alfalfa farmers over in the West Valley are the boy. Well, it is the west side. You did say that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, everything that happens over there is Saudi operated. Nobody ever asked that question. What's going on over there with m alfalfa fields? The people who do suddenly don't. The news got on them for like five months. What's the deal with all the south over here? You know, that's like 30% of the Colorado river is dedicated to these alfalfa fields for Saudi Arabia. And it was like, ignore it. Okay. Have you ever seen that?

[D]

No.

[C]

You've never seen the alfalfa fields. I remember the West Valley.

[D]

Yeah. I've never seen it. Well, unless I went by without realizing.

[C]

It'S all for Saudi Arabia, all of it. And the water allocated to it is more than Phoenix. It's incredible. Everybody's like, hey, this shouldn't be happening. And then suddenly like, nevermind.

[A]

Somebody said, you know where Jimmy Hoff is?

[C]

No. No. Exactly. And you know why I think that is? Like, hey, I'm gonna. I'm gonna knock the tea kettle over here and tell everybody about these Saudi alfalfa farms and then take a look. I've got an email from Halu Hula. Hala, hala, hala. Well, it's me with a child and we're nude. And then never hear about it again. That's it. Alahula Halahara has a lot of pictures of all of us with a kid. He's good with computers. I think the Saudis invented, like, what Brett always says. I think the Saudis invented Photoshop. Brett says that every day. He's got shirts. It's a fact. Yeah. Can't go doing that. There's all sorts of stuff you don't want to talk about. That's one of them. So Brett's right. Those Saudis are some. You can't trust them at all. But you get into that stuff, start saying those words and emails. It's great entertainment. Tucker Carlson's gonna get a big boost.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

That's all you're really looking to do nowadays is create. That was the thing on Chappelle Special that I thought was great. He goes, martin Luther King would be so different now because he's like, you can't. You have to be controversial and make people angry. And my favorite thing is I have a dream. And if you like my dream, smash that, like, button and subscribe. You'd have to be totally different at 7:17. What do you got on the big board of Musical Treats, Brett?

[A]

All right, wake up Song time. And we got lots of stuff on here. We got, let's see here. Slayer on the list. Stone Sour Neil Peart. Died this day in 2000.

[C]

I believe it's been 26 years since we lost.

[A]

Or no, 2020. My bad.

[C]

2020 can't be right. My brain almost fell out.

[A]

I know. Sorry about that. Fear Factory Velvet Revolver, GNR Coffin Cats Rise Against Soil Disturbed Metallica and Rob Halford celebrating 40 years of sobriety yesterday.

[C]

So is that right?

[A]

Yeah. Somebody suggested Eat Me Alive.

[C]

They were a clue on Jeopardy last night.

[A]

Judas Priest.

[C]

Priest. Yeah. About not touring ever again. Bands that said this was their final tour and then they toured like two years later.

[A]

Kiss the Daily double.

[C]

On that one they had like, share and all sorts. All the one the Ozzy. But they showed a picture of Judas Priest and none of the people got it. Wow. No. I'm screaming at the tv. I'm like, who's Judas Priest? Come on. There's Rob standing there with a mic and you know everybody, nothing. Sobriety's fine. But I think we should celebrate Neil. Okay. Because Tom Sawyer. I'm not a huge Rush guy, but that's a great song.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

That's a good one. So we'll go with a little Tom Sawyer. All right. I like that. That ain't so bad. And I like that. I see the word died and I just think of all the people in Baltimore that are thinking about it like, it's all over. It's all over. You know? Even better. That's not where it ends, Brady. There's now $72 million cap hit for Lamar and his stupid grill in that dumb hat he wears. $72 million is 26% of your payroll. And it's going to jump.

[D]

That's a chunk.

[C]

Well, that's what he is now. It's going to jump up with the new hit against the cap. Do you keep them or do you just start all over?

[D]

There's a couple of high quarterbacks potentially.

[C]

Available if those idiots in Baltimore have to accept that Lamar won them nothing and he got too expensive and they had to move him somewh like Miami or wherever Harbaugh ends up. Oh, my God. That would be just. Oh. Oh. You know, you don't need pills for erections. You just need a proper amount of hate in the right direction. And boy, I tell you what, the boners are back. Like you're 17. It's outrageous.

[D]

What if the Steelers went for him?

[C]

For Lamar? I'd take it. That'd be awesome.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Because it would hurt Baltimore. Because it would hurt Baltimore. Yeah. As much as. Look, I can't stand him, but he's good at football. But that would really sting Baltimore. Oh, my God. I think I'll make my call now. I think Steelers are gonna end up with Joe Burrow. I think that's going to happen. He's leaving. Yeah. No, Cincinnati is not keeping Joe Burrow. Not after all the crap he said. He's going to Andrew luck out or he's going to pull one of those deals where he's like, I'm not coming back unless you trade me. And the Steelers have all the draft picks. I wouldn't be surprised if Joe Burrow says, trade me to Pittsburgh and they'll give up all their draft picks for it because they're a couple pieces. I'm going to call that shot. Now, I think Joe Burrow ends up in Pittsburgh because he hates Cincinnati. He came to his senses and started looking around going, he loves it. No, he doesn't. Oh, yeah, and a couple more. Even James Harrison yesterday said, joe, you want football to be fun again because you ain't having fun there. And he goes, remember, I did a year in Cincinnati. I know what's going on. He goes, I know where you're at. I know what's happening. He goes, just move over. Just tell them you want to go. They'll get everything from us, and they will. Oh, I'd love that, Lamar.

[D]

You'll end up with Kyler.

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, man. Hey, nothing but reach.

[D]

You'll take it.

[C]

He'll be okay. Compared to what went on here, I don't want it. But it's not as bad as anything that leaves. Arizona is going to play better. He's going to be happy because you don't have this anchor on you. Anyway, this one's for Neil and anybody else who loved Rush. This one's pretty solid, top to bottom, especially the drums in this thing. It's Neil Piert. Died six years ago today. That's brutal. It's 98 KUPD. It's rushed. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.