
Loading summary
John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Brady
For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core institute dot com.
Unknown
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brady
He's evil.
John Holmberg
Sitting right here.
Brady
Come on. No, no, he's not.
Dick Toledo
He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.
Brady
98 to you, PT windy, gross mornings. But it was weird outside. Just watching out there is strange looking, I guess because we haven't seen clouds since. Geez, last March, so it's kind of weird to have an overcast start to the day. Although it does look a little blue out there. Oh, well, what are you gonna do? Looking forward to when it rains because it's gonna be weird when it does. Will we remember how to behave at 7:57? That means it's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. Then we say Brady reported.
Unknown
Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.
Brady
Hello, world. Hi.
Unknown
Happy national take the stairs day.
Brady
That's right, Chunks.
Unknown
A couple of basis fun facts. Forever 21 was founded by a Korean couple in Los Angeles in 1984, selling clothing designs that were similar to the ones that were popular in South Korea at the time.
Brady
Okay, so that South Korean fashion in 84 and 84.
Unknown
We all currently have hemorrhoids. They're just not inflamed.
Brady
That's right. Just in waiting. I didn't know that you always have hemorrhoids. It's whether or not somebody blows them up. You have to strain to get them. Because essentially it's just blood vessels. Right. And they're just waiting to get. They're in there. It's the start of one.
Unknown
Oxford University in England is older than the Aztec Society. Oxford became a University in 1249.
Brady
Good Lord.
Unknown
The Aztecs originated in 1325.
Brady
Good Lord. Megan had a moment. We watched the original Nosferatu, and I believe it was taking place in the mid-1800s, but I think they had some sort of flashback to the 1400s. Not easy to follow. What? What?
Unknown
You'll see.
Brady
Oh, no. And she was a little drunk. And we're sitting across the room and just in movies on.
Unknown
It's just so weird to think of that all before.
Brady
Like, yeah, sure is.
Unknown
Do they even have wheels then?
Brady
What? Never mind. Just shh. Did they have wind like, you mean in caveman times? Of course they had wheels then. In the. I think Columbus got here in 1492. They had boats before wheels. What's wrong with you?
Unknown
You know what I mean.
Brady
Nobody knows what you mean. What are you talking about? Did they have wheels then? And then I'm like, what are you talking about? Also 1860, when this. Or the flashback scene. Which one? Are you surprised that wheels exist? I'm not talking to you. And that makes us both happy. Thank you. You're good. Shh. The silent movies on.
Unknown
On this day in history, 190 years.
Brady
Ago, we watch silent movies, and it's not about the people on the screen. It's about you. You be silent. This is a. Sorry. Go ahead.
Unknown
On this day in 1835, the US national debt was completely paid off under Andrew Jackson, giving us a zero balance for the first time and the only time in history.
Brady
Well, let's. Let's not get too excited about that. He was using a lot of slave labor and he was marching Indians all over the place. But again, we've made it. So Andrew Jackson doing good things is like saying Hitler had some good ideas. We only focus on the horrible stuff that he used to do. And Indians. You're right. He didn't do well with you people. But, you know, paying off the national debt back then, though, was pretty easy.
Unknown
And 79 years ago, 1946, the King Elvis Presley turned 11 and that's when he got his first guitar.
Brady
Is today Elvis's birthday? Yep, it's January 8th. How old would he be now? Like 90, right? Was he born in 36?
Unknown
35?
Brady
It's 90.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
How about that? So he's been dead longer than he's been alive now. By five years, three years? He was 42 when he died. I think he.
Unknown
That young.
Brady
41. Was 76.
Unknown
42. Yeah, I think it was 42.
Brady
41 or 42, man. That's crazy. Yeah. So that was 45 years ago. 44 years. So he's been dead longer. He's been alive. I mean, that's true. Pre birth, obviously, but since, you know. You know what I mean?
Unknown
14 years ago, 2011. That's when Gabby Giffords got shot outside of the grocery store in Tucson.
Brady
God, that was 14 years ago, man. Wow.
Unknown
If you saw yesterday Donald Trump in the press conference. The Gulf of Mexico will finally be renamed the Gulf of America.
Brady
Finally. Like no one's ever brought it up before, but finally it will be named. Oops, sorry. That's wrong.
Unknown
I was like, wow.
Dick Toledo
Hit the wrong button. Gulf of America. We've all said it at least once in our lives. Why do we give Mexico so much credit? That's our golf. That's ours. And also Gulf of California is now Gulf of. Well, it's Gulf of California still, but Gulf of America. And we're gonna buy Greenland. Gonna go up there. I'm gonna make a purchase. I'm gonna pick up Greenland, and we're gonna call it Green America or Trump Land. I haven't decided yet. One of the two. Brady. It's gonna be great. We're gonna have this amazing new world. Canada's gonna be a state.
Unknown
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful name.
Dick Toledo
That's right. We're gonna get all. Imagine drenching your mom in syrup and.
Brady
Filming it for Onlyfans.
Dick Toledo
It's gonna be great. It's gonna be amazing.
Unknown
State 51.
Dick Toledo
State 51. You know what? Canada's only got 38 million people in it. It's smaller than Cal. The whole thing can be just a giant state of trees, people with low IQs, and syrup. We're gonna take a hockey. That's gonna be an American game. Hockey night in Northern America. We love it. Radiometer Think it's a great thing. Gulf of A. Gulf of America. That's right. We're gonna change all the names of things that sound a little bit foreign. Miami. It's gonna be called Downtown. I think that's a good name.
Brady
I like that.
Dick Toledo
Good. American sprint. Finally.
Unknown
What are you gonna do about New Mexico?
Dick Toledo
We're gonna call it America. Mexico. I haven't decided on that one yet. I'm working on something. New Mexico. New Mexico. If you've ever been there, it makes you realize how bad old Mexico is. Because if this is the new one. Yep. Yeah, we'll call it something else. We'll call it East Arizona. How about that?
Brady
Arizona's got a little bit of a foreign sounding name too.
Dick Toledo
How about we just call it Jeff? The good, strong American name.
Unknown
Baron.
Dick Toledo
Gulf of America Baron. There it is. New Baron. New Baron. That's nice. I like that. Nobody's ever said it before, but it seemed like a good idea. Now Gulf of America. Beautiful. I'll be back with more great ideas.
Brady
I like Gulf of America. What a kick in the nuts that is to Mexico. For no reason at all. Why do we call it Mexico? We want it Gulf of America.
Unknown
Researchers from multiple medical institutions, including Harvard Medical School in Boston, also Boston University, found that most people stare at themselves on video calls more than a speaker and it sparking a cosmetic surgery. Boom.
Brady
Of course it is. You keep looking at yourself in the mirror all the time. All you're gonna see is what you don't like, and you're gonna want to fix it. I watched a lady on the news the other night in one of those split screens they do with the zoom calls. Actually, it was last night. She was talking about the fire in Pacific Palisades. And she's up the road. She's been evacuated and she's in a house, and she's, you know, an attractive older woman, clearly has had some work done. Like everyone in Pacific Palisades. You can't move into Pacific Palisades unless you've had at least a nose job. But it's part of the CC and I. She's on the thing, and the whole time she's talking about the fire, she's looking at the upper right corner of her screen and just fixing this one thing of hair that won't stop being in her eyes. Like she only cares about how she looks while her house burns down. We've lost the plot, but yeah, we look at ourselves too much. Of course, there's plastic surgery, Boonberg's morning sickness. Colberg's morning sickness.
Unknown
College hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience. Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joined since 1983.
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne, now that it's.
Brady
Getting warmer, I turned on the AC.
Unknown
In my car and the air's blowing. Kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement.
Brady
What can I do about that? Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced. Plus replacing the cabin air filter helps.
Diane Fisher
The air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.
Brady
Nice.
Unknown
Is that a big deal to get done?
Brady
Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.
Unknown
That's awesome.
Brady
I'll say. We're Amco.
Unknown
Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.
Brady
A whole lot more.
Diane Fisher
Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202, Emmett Clintock Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto, and so much more. We're also online@fishertools.com CUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.
Michael
This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation. Today.
Brady
Holmberg's morning Sickness.
Unknown
Girl Scout cookie season has started. It goes now through April. The cookie lineup will feature the s'mores and toast Js. But they've announced what's a toasty? A toast Yays.
Brady
Oh, it's two words.
Unknown
They're discontinuing Them after this year.
What is it?
If you like the small snucky sucker.
I've never even heard of them.
Brady
Yeah, I don't know what it's about. Yeah. Yes. Is that Got Coke.
Unknown
They rolled them out in 2017. I'm not sure what the toast Js are. Let's see if they didn't really describe. They described the other ones. You know, the. The classics. The Thin Mints, Samoas or the Caramel Delights.
Brady
That's what do si does trefoil.
Unknown
Looks like a piece of toast. Okay.
Brady
Oh, it's got coconut Tagalongs Adventure.
Unknown
No, it's French flavor.
Brady
Oh, that's the Samoas. The toasty. Is it toast Y A Y?
Unknown
Yeah, Toast hyphen Y a toasty ass.
Brady
No, it's just. It's just a toast shaped shortbread.
Unknown
Yummy. Toast shaped cookies full of French toast flavor and dipped in delicious, delicious icing.
I never heard of those.
Brady
That sounds good. Yeah.
Unknown
Never even heard of those.
Brady
They did a bad job of marketing the toastier.
Unknown
Well, somebody downstairs got girl scouts, right? Isn't Jen or something terrorized?
Brady
Jen's the only one young enough to have kids who are girl scouts in the grocery store. I'm not wrong.
Dick Toledo
You're not wrong.
Brady
Kelly doesn't have. Her kids are too old. They're boys.
Unknown
Kristen.
Yeah, Kristen might.
Okay.
Brady
Does she have.
Unknown
They're around boy and a girl.
Yeah. And I think they're. The middle school could be.
I think middle school age.
Brady
I don't know. Yeah, that could be. I think that's true. But I think. Are they out of girl scout age though? I don't know.
Unknown
Kristen, bring us some girl Scouts.
Brady
Jen's kids are like 10.
Unknown
Is that who we got him from last time?
Brady
I don't know.
Unknown
Okay.
Brady
I think so. I can't think of. Who's got young kids down there.
Unknown
I don't know.
Brady
Maybe grandkids. There's a couple ladies down there probably have some grandkids. Girl scout age.
Unknown
I'm gonna try those TOC this year before they go away.
And they're saying stock up on it. Put them in the freezer since they're discontinuing and what other ones?
That's what they're saying.
That's what they're saying.
That's what you're saying.
I still have a six month supply of Thin Mints.
Brady
You realize how pathetic that was? Horrifying.
Unknown
What else are going away?
S'mores.
That's right. It's like wartime. You gotta ration out those cookies. If you get the ones they discontinue. Get years supplies. Don't be an idiot.
Remember the threat when the Twinkies were going away?
That's right. You had to build a bunker in your backyard. Fill it up like a bomb shelter.
I don't remember that.
Brady and I were digging holes like crazy, stocking up on Twinkies. If they went away, the world would have ended. Brady's right. Call up a contractor today and have a room built to store up those toast Yays. Some of those do the world a favor and kill yourself. I gotta go. That's ridiculous.
Some of those I didn't even know existed.
Brady
I've never heard of toast Js. And then the other one on the bottom there, Adventurefuls. I never heard of the toffee one, which I would love because I like heat.
Unknown
Toffeetastic.
Brady
I've never heard of those either.
Unknown
Gluten free, rich, buttery cookies with sweet crunchy toppings.
Brady
You know what that tells me? Those Girl Scouts are the salesmen of all time. Yeah, because it's. You know why? It doesn't teach them anything, by the way?
Unknown
Why don't they get rid of those trefoils? I don't like those shortbread cookies.
Brady
Yeah, that's for the boring classics. That's for Jehovah's Witnesses and stuff. They're not allowed to have flavors.
Unknown
Yeah, I didn't know there were Lemon ups too.
Lemon cookies. Lemonades and Lemon ups.
See, you don't need two lemon cookies either.
Brady
Nope. Again.
John Holmberg
Come on.
Brady
It's nobody. It doesn't teach Girl Scouts anything. They used to have to go, like now they're hypocrites. Used to go door to door, have to sell those things. Now mom sets us a stand at the AJ grocery store or the last. Or the parents here.
Unknown
Last year our neighbor had a sign in the front yard and just hit it with your QR code and then they. They delivered it. Yeah. They brought it down to your house.
Our neighborhood did that too. We bought them through our.
Yeah, that's what we did.
John Holmberg
Yeah, our neighborhood.
Brady
Little slut inside gets credit. Yep.
Unknown
Oh yeah.
You just talked about how they're lacking in sales.
Brady
They.
Unknown
They worked it last year.
Oh yeah.
Brady
Neighborhood.
Unknown
The troops in our neighborhood. They did.
Brady
They're not doing anything though.
Unknown
They've got sign in the front yard.
Brady
The whole objective of that was to raise money by making them interactive little worker bees.
Unknown
Nobody wants that.
Brady
The learning part was the social interaction. Yeah.
Unknown
Went on a whole thing yesterday about.
Brady
Interaction is dead and responsibility and all that. I know. That's the whole point. Why we keep doing it then? Because we love the cookies too much.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
And the reason we haven't heard of Toast J's and lemon ups and lemonades and is because the little girls don't knock on your door and explain the product. You got to do a little work presentation. I want a little work out of these tramps. Of course, then again, if you're a parent, you're not gonna let your kid go door to door because you're afraid that your little angel.
Unknown
They gotta. They walk the route with them.
Brady
Right. But.
Unknown
Or they bother you in front of a store every time.
Brady
I will not.
Unknown
I hate that.
Boys. I make cheesecake and the crust is thin. Mints, shortbreads. That's amazing.
Brady
Fantastic.
Unknown
Sounds good.
Well, the offering. Let's.
Brady
Yeah. Are you a girl scout? Sir.
Unknown
There's a new Tick Tock obsession. Glitter pickles. You take a pickle jar and you take the edible glitter stuff and put it in there and shake it up like a snow globe and it sticks to the pickles. People are going crazy over. Nobody's going out there blinging out their pickles.
I hate Tick Tock.
Let's not say that it shouldn't be there.
That's a Gilbert thing.
Brady
Yeah. Yeah. That's a Gilbert mom. You know, trying to get your kids to enjoy some sort of fruit or vegetable.
Unknown
Bush Light is doing a contest where it's called Daytona where eight single people will have the chance to go ahead and on a speed date before the Daytona 500. And during a lap around the track driven by a trainer. Basically you get a professional driver.
Brady
You get a date in the car on the mile drive.
Unknown
Yep.
Brady
And he goes what, 110 miles an hour. It's not going to be too crazy. But he hits the track. You get to over 100. You get to ride Daytona, which I don't know if that's a mile or if that's one of the bigger ones.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brady
Daytona might be a longer one. That's neat.
Unknown
Bush.com.
Brady
That'S right.
Unknown
Daytona.
Brady
Spell it right though. Bush.com is not what Brady wants it to be. There's a C in it.
Unknown
The deadline is January 21st.
Brady
Yeah. If you got a NASCAR, if you like it, you want to go to Daytona. That's their Super Bowl. And you get some girl who's equally as excited about that. And you ride around in the back of a Le Mans. I don't know what they stick in.
Unknown
Can share a Char Redman. And you know have fun.
Brady
I'm not sure. Here's something I'm not sure I'm interested too much in a girl who has trouble getting a guy at nascar that she's got to go through some hoops.
Unknown
Can'T find a good man.
Brady
It's just like if she's signed up for this, like if you're a good one and you wander around Daytona, you should be. It's like Country Thunder. If you're looking to score or find a guy, you're gonna at least find him.
Unknown
And get this.
Brady
The without, you know, an app or a service. So she's crazy.
Unknown
The speed dating will happen February 12, two days before Valentine's Day.
Brady
Yeah. So you're getting a nut bag in the back seat there and then what's going to. And so is the guy. He's a little goofy too. So he's probably going to beaten off in that two minute drive and there's going to be lawsuits. This might end ugly.
Unknown
Can't wait.
Brady
I actually can't wait for the February 13th news of how badly the lonely people in the back of a speeding car date goes.
Unknown
Three NFL teams are adding giant sized food items for the playoffs. You ready for this? Kansas City Chiefs will have touchdown toast. It's a massive brick of French toast with berry sauce and vanilla ice cream. If you go to Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, the Eagles, you can order the pretzel, John. It's a pretzel the shape of the Eagles logo.
Brady
I think they call it Yawn. I think J A W N. They do a lot pretzel.
Unknown
Yawn.
Brady
Yawn. Yeah, John.
Unknown
That's it.
Brady
Yeah.
Unknown
And it comes with three sauces including a green mustard. And the last one is in Houston. The Texans bigger in Texas. Tamale. It's a meat and chili sauce. Giant tamale.
Brady
Get French toast at a football game, you're gonna kill yourself with food. Is stack a French toast and syrup. The last thing I want is the dude next to me at a game, you know, with sticky fingers from eating French toast on the fly. French toast is a sit down at home meal or a restaurant. You don't. It's not mobile. Hey everybody, it's John Holmberg from the morning sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else.
Dick Toledo
Well, first of all, we've been in valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies. So we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve.
Brady
If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com It's Dick Toledo and new customers.
Unknown
Right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one. Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to.
Michael
53342 Homburg's Morning Sickness.
Unknown
I got two quick radio videos. First one's a quick mukbang Asian breakfast.
What?
Mukbang.
Brady
That's a real thing?
Unknown
It is.
Sounds awful and dirty.
Brady
I don't know what's in it. It's like rice.
Unknown
Well, mukbang, basically. You're showing your food.
Brady
Oh, is that what that is? Yeah, I thought they did again. I just. What I thought it was was exactly that. Yeah. Goose heads and rice.
Unknown
I thought I was making $3 million.
Brady
Goose heads. Sounds like a slur. It's not, but it's. When I say goose heads, I mean, that's not a shot that I at the people who are doing this. Although she just eat.
Unknown
I'm not watching.
Brady
Oh, man. She's eating a little baby chicken. That's been. She eats a full bodied eyelash dead bird. She inhales the whole goddamn thing. That's a little chick doubled down.
Unknown
It's just your amputees. This is disgusting.
Brady
It's just freshly plucked. Yeah, I'd rather watch two amputees figure it out.
Unknown
Bring this up amid bird flu outbreaks.
Brady
What do you need Ozempic for? Just show that video to people.
Unknown
Next one's a race to second base.
Brady
Was that even cooked?
Unknown
It didn't really.
Brady
Just look like a raw dead marinated, aren't they?
Unknown
It might have been boiled, pickled or something.
Brady
May have been boiled because it had no eyes. So at one point those melted out.
Unknown
Well, they hadn't developed yet.
Two guys decide to race to second base. One goes, you Know the third base side. The other goes around first.
How is that different to go back? How is that different than. Ballute isn't Ballute.
Brady
It's out of the egg. You crack the egg open, it might be younger. It is. Well, it has to be in the egg.
Unknown
That one looks like it had a couple of weeks.
Brady
That was. Oh, man. Yeah, that was a little free range. That was before that.
Unknown
Spend some time.
Brady
Yeah. Boy, that nuke did a number on those people, didn't it? They'll eat anything now.
Unknown
I don't think that was her country.
Brady
I don't know what it was. Close enough. The wind blew Close enough.
Unknown
It's over there.
Brady
The wind got some of that air wherever she's from and made her. That is not a normal human decision.
Unknown
You're not wrong.
Brady
That is mutation. All right, let's get.
Unknown
Here's the race.
Brady
Racing from home plate to second base in two different directions. And we're off. It's not the fastest race I've ever seen. Although the dude coming around third seems to be moving. Oh, and they were too stupid to go around each other. They went face to face at second base. Well, it's a tie.
Unknown
Talk about jerks.
Brady
What a couple of jerks. Yeah, they're both getting to second base at the exact same time. I thought we were racing to second. We're racing home, aren't we? Oh, my God. Yeah, they were gonna. Because there's no start at home plate. That's what I'm saying. They're racing home because there's. Otherwise you'd have stopped at second. You just slid. They're. They're going all the way at top speed. If the end goal was second base, you just run through it. Yeah, they're. Yeah, they're. They're making the full rounds, reverse and forward, and they forgot the other guy was out there. Well, that's just dumb people. Thanks, Darwin. Mukbang. All right, Brett, show me something to get that Asian lady eating that baby chick out of my mouth.
Unknown
I got a bunch. Because our old content creator actually joined in today.
Brady
Brett's back.
Unknown
Yeah. Crandall came back.
Brady
So we'll start off with this surveillance cct.
Unknown
Surveillance camera? Yeah.
Brady
Somebody walking down the street on a.
Unknown
Road where we're taking a nice stroll.
Brady
People driving on the wrong side of the road.
Dick Toledo
Nope, the right side.
Brady
There's a tractor. Tractor just goes. Oh. Gets grandma right in the middle of the street and pushes her before it knocks her down.
Unknown
That's a smashing.
Brady
That was a moving tractor. Something's going like 35 miles an hour.
Unknown
There's a splatter, too.
Brady
Grandma didn't make it. Oh, first, here's a. There's a fat lady or man laying. All we can see is its ass and thighs. That's a set of balls. Or a stomach.
Unknown
Oh, that's the stomach.
Brady
Some sort of a distended, weird. Look at.
Unknown
They got fat on their. Spelled out above their bed.
Brady
The word fat is written on the wall. It's trying to spread its legs a lot more limber than I expected. The stomach has developed into some sort of strange beanbag butt stomach. Yeah, it's like a second person.
Unknown
And let's just. Let's just put it this way. That's an OnlyFans page.
Brady
Okay, little pumpkin. Son filming little pumpkin.
Unknown
I don't know.
Brady
Well, because it looks like a pumpkin is growing out of between its thighs. It looked like a gigantic scrotum on this lady, but it turns out that's just some part of her stomach.
Unknown
There you go. Twitter Fat, fat.
Brady
Or fart. Maybe fart written. Also kind of the leg is in the way between the A and the T. That there may be an arm.
Unknown
Just blow.
Brady
Oh, that fan is blowing. Some serious, darkest little motorcycle accident. Oh, my God. There's half a person laying in the middle of a road next to a motorcycle. Again, we're in a terrible country where people just gather on the freeway.
Unknown
Oh, there's.
Brady
There's another one. There's another half a guy up there. Unless that's the other half of that guy. Okay. And then just a lot of dudes in lawn dresses. Oh, my God. Sell your bike today.
Unknown
And.
Dick Toledo
Yikes.
Unknown
There you go. This for Brady.
Brady
All right, we've got a. What is that? What is that?
Unknown
Whoa.
Brady
What?
Unknown
I don't know if that's a nut or a crank.
Is that like a Black eyed pea?
Something's in his crank.
Brady
He's got a gigantic ball with a barcode inside his urethra. And then he stretched it down and put that in his bottom. And then his. His bottom leaks out like one of the tremors. Worms.
Unknown
That is.
Brady
I got so many questions about what this is. First off, he's got a big enough dork that he can put it in his own butt. And he decided to load it with a baseball.
Unknown
You think we have any proctologists that listen to us?
Brady
Please, if we do, can you come down here?
Unknown
We'll explain.
This can't be good for you.
Brady
No. Anytime your butthole falls out, it's bad. No. No doctor recommends that there's no coming back from that.
Unknown
Is there?
Brady
Doesn't seem like it.
Unknown
Does that happen? I mean.
And look, it's got the drippy.
Dick Toledo
When he picks it up too.
Brady
Does it drift?
Unknown
Yeah, look at when he picks it up.
Brady
When he picks it up, it's stuck to the ground a little.
Unknown
Does it fold out in the middle?
Brady
Look at this part. Birdie. Oh, yeah, definitely.
Unknown
It's definitely dripping moist.
Brady
And that, ironically, is the frosting on a toast. Yay.
Unknown
This one's entitled glory holes.
Brady
That was a lot wrong with that last one.
Unknown
This one's glory holes. It's like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. No, this one's actually kind of okay.
Everything changed.
Brady
So wiener. Oh my God. I stuck his wiener in a glory hole and the person on the other side lit a lighter and burned it. Oh, that's a risk, I guess. That is a risk you take.
Unknown
Oh, from downtown.
Brady
Yes. Oh, he's pooping from on top. Oh, God.
Unknown
Horrible mess.
Brady
He's hanging from the ceiling. Hovering above the toilet. And about 30% accuracy on the end result. Most of it's on the floor.
Unknown
And we'll end here.
Brady
Humanity. Brady, I beg you to ask some questions. Next time you're in your church talking about the Jesus. How bad was Sodom and Gomorrah that God said. All right, that's it. I'm flooding the planet. How was that worse than now?
Unknown
There are like thousands of beehives.
Brady
Yeah, they must have just constantly walked around with it. Like decorated and bedazzled beehive butts. Oh. Oh, man. It is African American man.
Unknown
Yeah, it's Jabba.
Brady
Yeah. He's doing the job of sound effects cuz he's having sex with what is the fattest person alive. Maybe not even alive.
Unknown
Which is also available on only Fans or Friends, if you're interested.
Brady
What?
Unknown
Jabba the slut is Jabba the Slut?
Brady
You can only fans job.
Unknown
He's watching tv while he's doing it.
Brady
Her legs look like pull apart bread.
Dick Toledo
What is that?
Brady
It's a cinnamon roll. There are rolls just in the middle. I know. You can't. I'm not getting in trouble. I call it pull apart. Brad. I'm not going down that road. Shut up. I know. You know what it looks her legs look like pull apart bread.
Unknown
Go there.
Brady
Brady's got nine rest. Pull apart bread is good.
Unknown
Make me hungry.
Sell me that pull apart bread. I want to see that pull apart bread. You know what it's called? Not allowed to talk about it. In that particular situation.
Maybe when we go to podcast only, it's too.
Nope, nope. Just go to podcast only. I'm still not. That's still pull apart bread. Not even putting that on the menu. It's always pull apart bread just in case. I don't even care if those were two albinos. That's pull apart bread.
Brady
Anyway, so long, Ralphie.
Unknown
Oh, yeah, I gotta get. I forgot to leave.
Brady
He gets into a big suction tube to get out of here. Anyway, that was gross. But the worst thing was watching that Asian lady eat. I hate watching Asians eat.
Unknown
Yeah, flies.
Brady
And the fly lady made me throw up.
Unknown
Well, don't forget the. The cheese around the crank on that one.
Brady
Oh, my God, that's right. Wow. It's always Asians eating this stuff.
Unknown
Don't worry, that'll be in next year's video. Next year's video.
Brady
All right, that's it. There goes your Brady report. It's 98 KUPD.
Unknown
Hey, it's not weird.
Brady
It's pretty cool, actually.
Unknown
No membership fee.
Brady
I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (January 8, 2025)
Holmberg's Morning Sickness remains Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, hosted by John Holmberg on 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio. In this episode, recorded on January 8, 2025, Holmberg and his co-hosts delve into a variety of intriguing and humorous topics, ranging from obscure historical facts to contemporary societal trends. The episode is segmented into distinct sections, each packed with lively discussions, witty banter, and insightful commentary.
The episode kicks off with Brady Bogen presenting a segment on "useless fun facts," spotlighting the intriguing comparison between Oxford University and the Aztec civilization.
Oxford University’s History: Brady shares that Oxford University in England was established as a university in 1249.
Brady (02:40): "Oxford University in England is older than the Aztec Society. Oxford became a University in 1249."
Aztec Origins: He contrasts this by noting that the Aztec civilization originated in 1325, making Oxford older by over 75 years.
Brady (02:55): "The Aztecs originated in 1325."
The hosts humorously debate the implications of these dates, with Brady reflecting on a recent movie night where historical timelines were confused.
Brady (03:11): "We watched the original Nosferatu, and I believe it was taking place in the mid-1800s, but I think they had some sort of flashback to the 1400s."
A significant portion of the episode centers around a fictional or satirical news item regarding former President Donald Trump's proposal to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.
Trump’s Proposal: Brady introduces the topic, prompting an animated discussion among the hosts.
Brady (05:56): "If you saw yesterday Donald Trump in the press conference. The Gulf of Mexico will finally be renamed the Gulf of America."
Hosts’ Reactions: Dick Toledo and another co-host delve into the absurdity of the proposal, mocking the idea with playful creativity.
Dick Toledo (06:18): "We're gonna call it Green America or Trump Land. I haven't decided yet."
Co-host (06:51): "We're gonna change all the names of things that sound a little bit foreign. Miami. It's gonna be called Downtown."
Brady sarcastically critiques the proposal, highlighting the unnecessary nationalist overtones.
Brady (08:19): "Why do we call it Mexico? We want it Gulf of America."
The discussion evolves into a broader commentary on identity and naming conventions, blending humor with social critique.
Another key topic is the commencement of Girl Scout cookie season, highlighting new flavors and the discontinuation of certain varieties.
Season Announcements: The co-hosts discuss the introduction of "S’mores" and "Toast Yays," the latter of which is being discontinued after this year.
Co-host (11:54): "Girl Scout cookie season has started. It goes now through April. The cookie lineup will feature the s'mores and toast Js. But they've announced what's a toasty? A toast Yays."
Discontinued Flavors: There's a playful debate on the unfamiliarity of "Toast Yays," with Brady expressing confusion and skepticism.
Brady (12:10): "I've never even heard of them."
The hosts reminisce about past cookie sales methods, critiquing the shift from door-to-door interactions to more passive sales techniques like QR codes and store stands.
Brady (16:30): "The learning part was the social interaction. Yeah."
They also explore the myriad of existing flavors, including classics like Thin Mints and more obscure ones like Lemon Ups, while humorously deprecating some.
Brady (15:42): "They used to have to go door to door, have to sell those things. Now mom sets us a stand at the AJ grocery store or the last."
The episode transitions into discussions about modern social media trends and evolving food culture.
Mukbang Videos: The hosts critique the popular "mukbang" phenomenon, where individuals consume large quantities of food on camera. Brady expresses disdain for the often gluttonous and unhygienic nature of these videos.
Brady (22:27): "It's disgusting. She inhales the whole goddamn thing. That's a little chick doubled down."
Glitter Pickles Trend: They highlight the quirky trend of glitter pickles on TikTok, mocking its appeal and practicality.
Co-host (17:18): "You take a pickle jar and you take the edible glitter stuff and put it in there and shake it up like a snow globe and it sticks to the pickles."
Brady extends the conversation to discuss unhealthy food options becoming more prevalent at sports events, specifically criticizing the introduction of oversized food items.
Brady (20:03): "Get French toast at a football game, you're gonna kill yourself with food."
The latter part of the episode features humorous reactions to bizarre and often gross video clips submitted by listeners.
Surveillance Videos: Brady and the co-host react to surveillance footage depicting absurd accidents and strange behavior, such as individuals racing to second base in unconventional ways.
Brady (24:02): "They're both getting to second base at the exact same time. I thought we were racing to second."
Disgusting Mukbang Content: They further express their repulsion towards certain mukbang videos, emphasizing the unnatural and unhealthy aspects of the content.
Brady (32:28): "The fly lady made me throw up."
These segments are peppered with crude humor and exaggerated disgust, aiming to entertain listeners through shock and laughter.
As the episode wraps up, Brady reflects on the discussed topics with a mix of frustration and humor, emphasizing the absurdities of modern trends and societal behaviors.
Brady (32:44): "That's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this."
The hosts bid farewell, maintaining their signature comedic style and leaving listeners with a blend of amusement and contemplation about the topics covered.
Brady on Oxford and Aztecs:
Brady (02:40): "Oxford University in England is older than the Aztec Society. Oxford became a University in 1249."
Trump's Gulf of America Proposal:
Brady (05:56): "If you saw yesterday Donald Trump in the press conference. The Gulf of Mexico will finally be renamed the Gulf of America."
Girl Scout Cookie Sales Critique:
Brady (16:30): "The learning part was the social interaction. Yeah."
Mukbang Disgust:
Brady (32:28): "The fly lady made me throw up."
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona masterfully blends humor with insightful commentary, tackling a range of topics from historical trivia and political satire to societal trends and pop culture. Through lively discussions and sharp wit, John Holmberg and his co-hosts engage listeners, offering both entertainment and food for thought. Whether dissecting the feasibility of renaming geographical landmarks or critiquing the evolution of Girl Scout sales strategies, the show maintains its reputation for being both entertaining and thought-provoking.