01-08-26 - BR - THU - Arkansas Diamond Park Sparks Rant Against Crap States - 25 Manatees Saved By Conservationists - Brady's List Of Top Hot Sauces For Some Reason

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 01-08-26 – Arkansas Diamond Park Sparks Rant Against Crap States – 25 Manatees Saved By Conservationists – Brady's List Of Top Hot Sauces For Some Reason
Date: January 8, 2026

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Main Theme/Purpose

This episode delivers a signature blend of irreverent news updates, wild personal confessions, and offbeat debates characteristic of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness. The crew riffs on the news of a diamond finding in Arkansas, conservation efforts for manatees, their hot takes on the “worst” states in America, some truly bizarre hot sauce rankings, crass humor involving hygiene, and their latest batch of weird video finds.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Brady’s Confession: The Bath Incident

• [03:18-05:11]
  The crew opens with personal hygiene banter, centering around Brady’s surprising revelation he urinated in his own bath out of sheer comfort. This sparks a debate about bodily function “efficiency” and the hypothetical invention of a nighttime urine removal device.
  • Quote:

    "I laid in my own urine because I was so comfortable. That's how nice baths are." – Brady [05:02]

• The hosts double down on the comedic awkwardness and embrace of “being in your own filth” (and the “healing” properties of bubble baths according to Brady).

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2. Typing Trivia and School Memories

• [05:33-07:14]
  Fun facts about typing speeds evolve into boasting and reminiscing about old high school typing class, speed tests, and the torture of teachers with coffee breath.
  • Quote:

    "Mrs. Miller, god damn Mrs. Miller and her coffee breath. She smelled like the bottom of the pot." – Brady [07:21]

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3. Weird World Facts & Historical Oddities

• [07:27-09:54]
  • Discuss the Leaning Tower of Pisa (it's empty inside) – stories of climbing it before it was restricted.
  • Revisit “baby cages” from the 1920s/30s—cages that hung out windows for sunlight exposure.
  • Etymology: “husband” and “wife” have historical roots with interesting meanings.

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4. Arkansas Diamond Sparks State Rant

• [10:00-18:19]
  A feel-good story about a Texas teacher finding a $5,000 diamond at Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas leads to a sharp, prolonged mockery of Arkansas and many so-called “crap states.”
  • Quote:

    "Well, not worth going to Arkansas ever, but no... If you find $5,000 you got two houses. It's pretty nice." – Brady [10:33]

  • Co-hosts fiercely debate which states are worth a visit, tossing out nearly the entire Midwest, New Mexico, Kentucky, and more.
  • Quote:

    "We can sit and wave the American flag, but all 50 stars aren't good. I'd say 11 of the 50 stars (are worth it)." – Brady [15:31]

  • Arkansas is repeatedly derided as a travel destination:

    "You've never once gone into a travel agent who has a poster of Arkansas next to Hawaii." – Brady [17:18]

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5. Manatee Conservation and Mockery

• [10:51-14:07]
  Celebration of releasing 26 manatees in Tampa morphs into mockery over the animals’ intelligence and penchant for getting hit by boat engines.
  • Quote:

    "The manatee is the one. They're sea cows. They're idiots." – Brady [13:23] "They will swim right into a parked boat that just starts its engines because they're dumb." – Brady [11:23]

  • Debating whether Michael Phelps could beat a manatee in a race (Brady: “In the wild? Phelps wins, but in water I’m betting on the manatee”) [14:07]

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6. Strange Tech in Asia and More 'Crap State' Debate

• [14:25-15:29]
  • Discussion of Hong Kong mall bathrooms with smoke-detecting, see-through glass (to “out” smokers).
  • Revisiting and refining the list of bottom-tier US states (now extending to the Midwest, New Mexico, etc.):

    "New Mexico's a waste of money and time." – Brady [18:53]

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7. News of the Weird – International Fortune Teller Thief

• [19:22-20:20]
  A story about a Thai fortune teller who predicted that a woman would lose something valuable—before stealing her phone.

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8. Brady’s 2025 Hot Sauce Rankings

• [20:50-21:43]
  • Top Hot Sauces 2025:
    1. Frank’s Red Hot (No. 1)
    2. Sriracha
    3. Taco Bell
    4. Cholula (Brady’s pick)
    5. Texas Pete (Brady: “just don’t like the taste profile”)
  • Brady laments his favorite is “no longer being produced.” [21:29]

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9. Odd Candles and Sensory Gross-outs

• [22:10-23:31]
  Bath and Body Works released a “pizza and ranch” candle (later discontinued after multiple complaints of “gagging”).

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10. TMI Segment: Would You Be Confident About Taint Licking?

• [25:09-26:16]
  Crude banter about personal cleanliness and who on the show would be “confident” enough to let someone lick their taint right now.
  • Quote:

    "I'm always comfortable back there. Clean." – Brady [25:29]

  • The “rule” emerges: one swipe per hour of being awake.

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11. Viral Videos Breakdown

• [26:20-34:00+]
  Brady and the crew give their play-by-play of bizarre and NSFW viral videos, ranging from a sinkhole in Oklahoma, possible drone assassins, strange athletic feats, and people behaving outrageously in public.
  • Video highlights include:
    • AI debates over the plausibility of a sinkhole video.
    • A partygoer with a “Lego-shaped head.” [29:29]
    • A blind skateboarder successfully riding a bowl. [30:27]
    • A KFC food court scene involving sexual antics and a woman eating a “plug.” [31:16]
    • Bizarre home video involving mechanized devices, milk vomiting, and grandmotherly “squirting” humor.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Arkansas:

  “There’s no draw. Nobody is… Let’s go to Arkansas this summer… You have to have some sort of weird purpose.” – Brady [17:46]

• On manatees:

  “There’s no other ocean animal that is getting run over constantly by boats. The manatee is the one. They’re sea cows. They’re idiots.” – Brady [13:23]

• On bizarre candles:

  “Burning dairy is never really on my list of things that I think is going to smell good. Ranch dressing on fire.” – Brady [22:41]

• On body cleanliness:

  “For every hour you’re awake, it’s one swipe to the taint.” – Brady [26:08]

• On comfort and hygiene:

  “I laid in my own urine because I was so comfortable. That’s how nice baths are.” – Brady [05:02]

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Timestamps to Important Segments

• [03:18-05:11] Brady’s TMI bath confession
• [07:14] Typing trivia and teacher memories
• [10:00-18:19] Arkansas Diamond story and the “Crap States” rant
• [10:51-14:07] Manatee conservation and mockery
• [20:50-21:43] Hot sauce power rankings
• [22:10-23:31] Bizarre candle story
• [25:09-26:16] Cleanliness and the “taint swipe rule”
• [26:20-34:00+] Viral videos commentary segment

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Tone and Overall Vibe

Unapologetically irreverent, gleefully crude, and defiantly anti-PC—much of the humor is anatomical, regional, or over-the-top. The crew alternates between quick, funny news items and deep-dive riffing on the absurdities of American life. If you appreciate wild, boundary-pushing banter with a heavy Arizona/local flavor, this episode delivers.

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Useful For:
Anyone who missed the episode and wants the highlights; fans looking for the top jokes and outlandish takes; or newcomers wondering what a typical morning with Holmberg’s Morning Sickness feels like.

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Note:
Some humor and content are graphic/NSFW—proceed with caution if squeamish or easily offended.

Transcript

[Host]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And what better way to kick off the new year than with a brand new Toyota from your valley Toyota dealers. New year, new goals, new adventures, and a new Toyota is the perfect way to get you there, whether you're tackling your commute, heading out on weekend road trips, or just wanting something more reliable for the year ahead. Toyota has the model to fit your lifestyle, so make this the year you drive smarter, safer and happier. Visit your valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places.

[Promo Announcer]

Come back. Morning sickness.

[Brady]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Co-host 1]

He's evil sitting right here.

[Host]

Come on.

[Co-host 1]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.

[Promo Announcer]

98.

[Brady]

All that Adderall talk earlier and I got a one of our listeners, Kevin, says Adderall is the only prescription I take. And guess what I do? I take half of what they prescribe me so I can share it with co workers. That's all Adderall people do. All Adderall people give it to friends for fun. If you weren't with us earlier, I'm suggesting everybody goes off their their Looney Tunes meds today. I see no evidence this is working. Also, I had a few questions, Brady, when you met Douglas, your aunt's African caretaker.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Did you say has a diva? Did you try any of that? And you did not.

[Co-host 2]

Almost did. I did not.

[Brady]

That's what I know of Africa. Those are African words I know.

[Co-host 2]

Does that really mean that, Douglas?

[Co-host 1]

Oh, Brady, don't say that about Good.

[Brady]

You're gonna have a blast tonight. I think we sold about 80 tickets. By the way. People are emailing our crazy.

[Co-host 2]

There might not have been that many available.

[Brady]

Well, for the weekend, they'll get in there, they'll figure it out. Scalp them. You can probably go to Ticketmaster and buy them too.

[Host]

Yeah, there's some available. I mean, secondary market.

[Brady]

Second. Yeah, secondhand Book of Mormon tickets go to that. I didn't even know it was here. How are we supposed to find out about that stuff? Just listen to the radio more. Probably running ads for it. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. And it's brought to you by our friends at AllProchade. AllProchade.com the sun is making a very beautiful Camelback mountain this morning out our little traffic and weather window. Look at that. That is gorgeous. The top of it's covered with clouds making beautiful shade as the sun kind of creeps in on the base of the mountain and makes it pretty. You can have that going on at your house. Put a little shade in a spot, make that shade make the sunlight not bother you so you can enjoy where the sunlight is when it's not directly in your eyes. And they'll make it look great on your house. To motorized shades. They've got the blinds, they've got window covers. If you've got a backyard patio. I just saw something yesterday that said the number one thing people are looking for in new homes, outdoor living space. That is. That is now top of the list on people's minds saying, I want to be able to have something that I can use, a functional space outside. Nothing makes it more functional than making sure you can have a TV or some sort of a sitting area where you're not blinded by the sun or you got glare or anything else. The folks at All Pro Shade will do it for you. AllProchade.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[Co-host 2]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brady]

Hi.

[Co-host 2]

Happy National Bubble Bath Day and World Typing Day.

[Brady]

You want to hear something horrible?

[Host]

Sure, always.

[Brady]

The other day I had a bath and it was really nice. I've been working out really a lot lately to try to get into a certain type of shape in the next month. And so I. I did a leg workout that was really bad. So I did a bath and my baths are nice. So I took another one a couple days later. Like, I might get into the habit of this bath thing. And here's why. I'll never do it again. I was so relaxed in the bathtub. No, I didn't poop. Jesus wrong with you? Kind of hillbilly.

[Co-host 1]

That's what I do.

[Brady]

Yeah. But I did pee and I laid in and I didn't care. I peed in the bath and I just laid in it. I didn't care. So I got up and I showered that off, but I was not getting up from that warm, amazing feeling to go pee, which was literally a foot and a half away. I could have just stood. I'm not standing up. And then I realized about halfway through.

[Host]

You should go to Pakistan.

[Brady]

I'm just bathing in my own piss.

[Host]

But it felt right in over there.

[Brady]

Felt great. Then I got up, I showered myself like a human being.

[Co-host 2]

Right.

[Larry McFeely]

How come you didn't stand up and.

[Brady]

Arch it because I had to get up. I was too comfortable to get up.

[Co-host 1]

Look, if you could come up with a plan.

[Brady]

If you could come up with a. Something where I could, you know, besides a diaper. Where. You know, because it doesn't go away. Where you could get rid of your bodily fluids while you slept. I'd be all in on that contraption. Brady's got that CPAP to keep him alive at night for breathing. I would love to just hook up to something and just. And have that. That vacuum just going the whole time down there. And if I ever peed, just sends it. Like one of those bank things.

[Co-host 3]

Yep.

[Brady]

Not turds or anything. That's gross. Gotta clean up after. I'm just talking about pee.

[Co-host 3]

Well, the attachment would be.

[Brady]

But I laid in my own urine because I was so comfortable. That's how nice baths are. So when he said bubble bath, I'm like God damn it. And the bubbles keep it from you knowing.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. Cuz it's.

[Brady]

You're in your own filth. Oh, it's so nice. But when you think about a bath, you're just laying in your own dirt. Anyway.

[Host]

Listen to RuPaul the entire time.

[Brady]

You know what, Brad? If you have that on. God damn. It'll be in the back rooms of the Pakistani gay bar.

[Co-host 2]

Couple of basis fun facts, by the way.

[Co-host 1]

We are having a drag party tonight. And not like the old fashioned Pakistani drag parties which were behind Toyota Tacomas.

[Brady]

No, this is a real one where.

[Co-host 1]

We dress up like whores.

[Co-host 2]

Sorry.

[Brady]

Pakistani gay bar. I might fly to Battabad for that.

[Co-host 2]

The fastest typist in the world. Type 216 words per minute. The average typing speed is 41 words per minute.

[Brady]

Wow. Well, Brady's bringing the curve down on that one.

[Co-host 3]

But just gonna say that.

[Brady]

What do you think you hit a minute? Eight?

[Co-host 2]

20.

[Brady]

You think you get 20? I didn't get 20aminute.

[Co-host 2]

Let's.

[Host]

Let's time it later.

[Co-host 3]

Film him.

[Co-host 1]

Let's do it.

[Brady]

Let's give Brady something to type. Let's. They have it like a secretary's test.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. The pressures.

[Co-host 3]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

And then see if he can chicken peck that out. Because nowadays you have the backstage space button before you couldn't make mistakes.

[Co-host 3]

Right.

[Brady]

So let's see what Brady does without ever hitting Delete on the 20. Where I think I could get up to about 75 without hitting delete. Or just maybe I could if I really focused hard.

[Co-host 2]

I'm hitting delete no matter what.

[Brady]

75 without. I think I Can knock out a letter. I'm pretty good. I get a little slop. I get a little ahead of myself because I'm comfortable with the delete. If you put me on a typewriter, said no mistakes. 60. No kidding.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I think I was doing eighth grade. I got up to 80. Wow. That was pretty good. I got good at typing.

[Co-host 3]

So this. This is a few options for a test. So we do a one minute test and we can give him easy, medium or hard text. We can do tricky spelling, blind typing.

[Brady]

Blind typing is what we need. That's the key to it, is you can't look at the keyboard.

[Host]

Somewhere they used to put those little manila fold over the keyboard in High School.

[Brady]

Mrs. Miller. God damn Mrs. Miller and her coffee breath. She smelled like the bottom of the pot.

[Co-host 2]

Maybe you know one of the longest common words you can spell using just the top row.

[Brady]

No.

[Host]

Now I gotta look at the top typewriter.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, I have heard that.

[Co-host 2]

Middle row.

[Brady]

Sodomy.

[Co-host 2]

The best. Looks like it is alfalfa.

[Brady]

You can't spell alpha. Oh, it's got Fs.

[Co-host 2]

That's right.

[Brady]

I put a P in it.

[Co-host 2]

Bottom nothing. There's no vowels.

[Brady]

There's not a vow.

[Co-host 2]

The only country whose name that can be typed on one row on the keyboard is Peru. And the only US state is Alaska.

[Brady]

In the second row.

[Co-host 2]

Huh.

[Brady]

Turkey is close on the top row. Just the K. It's true.

[Host]

What I was just thinking of the Pakistani.

[Brady]

Pakistani is going to be in our minds for a while.

[Co-host 2]

The inside of the Leaning Tower of Pisa is completely empty. It's just a hollow cylinder from top to bottom.

[Brady]

It's a wework.

[Co-host 2]

Now you got the steps, you gotta go.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm not gonna. Nobody's climbing those. Did you climb the steps to the top?

[Co-host 2]

I did.

[Host]

Oh, they let you go in there?

[Co-host 2]

I. When I was there in 87.

[Host]

Okay.

[Brady]

I think after. You were there.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. Because they don't let you do leaning a little more.

[Brady]

Yeah. Brady was on top.

[Co-host 1]

Like, oh, what does he do? Get out of there. This is like a zip line.

[Brady]

There's a balance here.

[Co-host 2]

We've done this one before, but you remember, and we've pulled up a picture. But in the 1920s and 30s, it was mostly in New York. Or people that live in high rises used cages for their kids.

[Brady]

Sure.

[Co-host 2]

To sit out on the window.

[Brady]

It was called the Tears in Heaven program.

[Co-host 2]

The doctor said it was good, it was healthy for the kid and it.

[Host]

Helped the growing make America great again.

[Brady]

You guys want to hear a tasteless Joke?

[Co-host 2]

Hell yeah.

[Guest 1]

All the time.

[Brady]

Do you know what the difference between a child and a bag of cocaine is?

[Host]

No.

[Brady]

Eric Clapton wouldn't have let a bag of cocaine fall out of his window. It's okay.

[Co-host 2]

The word husband comes from the old Norse word husbandi, which means master of the house. Wife comes from an old Indo European word weep, which means to rap. Might have been referred to the veil the brides would wear.

[Brady]

Gotta wrap them up.

[Co-host 2]

We got a 41 year old teacher from Texas found a 2 carat diamond at a crater at Diamond State park in Arkansas last week. He went with his family after his daughter asked Siri where could we mine crystals? It's worth around five grand, but still.

[Co-host 1]

He went to some stupid fun park in Arkansas.

[Co-host 2]

Crater of Diamond State park in Arkansas.

[Co-host 3]

They say that that park, they usually find one about that size every year.

[Co-host 1]

No kidding.

[Brady]

Wow. Well, not worth going to Arkansas ever, but no.

[Co-host 3]

God no.

[Co-host 2]

5,000.

[Co-host 3]

You're rich in Arkansas.

[Brady]

Yeah, 5,000. You got two houses. It's pretty nice.

[Co-host 2]

Education, college.

[Brady]

Oh, you're paying for. Yeah, you're. You're a Razorback.

[Co-host 2]

Wildlife rescue rescuers at the zoo In Tampa released 26 manatees back into the wild in 2025.

[Brady]

Wait, we're putting what back in manatees? We lost those?

[Co-host 2]

No, they're. Well, the population cutting down, but this is this past year they released 25.

[Brady]

Rehabbed because they keep running into boat engines of the dumbest animal in the ocean.

[Co-host 2]

They don't run into them.

[Brady]

Yeah, they do. Have you seen them in Florida? No. When they're in Florida, I don't think.

[Co-host 2]

They try to run into the boat.

[Brady]

Yeah, they do. They will swim right into a parked boat that just starts its engines because they're dumb. And yeah, they get hit because they don't see it coming. They just kind of mill around the top. You know what other? Name another one that's constantly as a species getting pounded by boat engines. There aren't any humans. No, there aren't any. There's none.

[Promo Announcer]

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[Promo Announcer 2]

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[Co-host 2]

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[Promo Announcer 2]

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[Larry McFeely]

If you're looking at new vehicles for the new year, your Valley Toyota dealers this is Larry McFeely. And if your New Year's resolution includes a Toyota Tacoma, Tundra, 4Runner, Corolla, Camry or Grand Highlander, then you're in luck. And here's the best part. Every new Toyota comes with Toyota care that's no cost, maintenance and 24 hour roadside assistance for two years or 25,000 miles. Peace of mind for the road ahead. Exactly how you want to start a new year. Welcome 2026 in style. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

There's no other ocean animal that is getting run over constantly by boats. The manatee is the one. They're sea cows. They're idiots.

[Co-host 2]

They've cared for over 600 manatees over the past 35 years.

[Brady]

Yeah, they can't. And that's the ones they pull out. The rest of them just get butchered.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Brady, do you still think Michael Phelps and manatees try to have a good race.

[Brady]

Didn't you put money on Michael?

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, you kind of did.

[Co-host 2]

No, I think that was a manatee, didn't I?

[Brady]

No, I wouldn't have did eventually.

[Co-host 3]

But you thought Michael Phelps would would keep pace.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

He goes. I forget how fast he is in the wild.

[Brady]

It doesn't matter.

[Dick Toledo]

In the wild.

[Brady]

Did you say in the wild?

[Co-host 2]

In the ocean there might be a difference. Slower speed in the wild than it would be in the.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, I'll give you that.

[Brady]

Yeah. If you raced Michael Philip Phelps Phelps in the wild, that's the other. Against a manatee, he'd win. But in the water, I'm taking the water dwelling creature. It's not even a it's not even a thought like a seahorse. I'd put my money on him.

[Co-host 2]

This shopping mall near Hong Kong is in the news. After adding windows to their public bathroom stalls. You can see through them if the person inside lights up a cigarette. A lot of the people go in there to smoke or vaping.

[Brady]

Well, that wouldn't light up.

[Co-host 2]

It would because once it. Well, actually it's not clear if the vaping also activates the glass.

[Brady]

Yeah, because it wouldn't have a cigarette.

[Co-host 2]

Smoke. Heat is what the.

[Brady]

Vape is just steam kind of. Right.

[Co-host 2]

It says it kind of detects the smoke.

[Brady]

It's vapor.

[Co-host 2]

It.

[Brady]

Yeah, but it doesn't like it. You can. You can see the cigarette.

[Co-host 3]

That's because of water.

[Brady]

The cherry. Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

It's not just water that you're inhaling, though.

[Co-host 2]

They say the new system seems to be working as people going in for smoke breaks.

[Brady]

This guy actually made a great point. He said as fast as Toledo said God know about Arkansas. Made me realize that Toledo thinks Cambodia is better than Arkansas. That's how bad Arkansas must. Arkansas.

[Co-host 3]

I'll stand on that.

[Brady]

We can sit and wave the American flag, but all 50 stars aren't good. I'd say 11 of the 50 stars.

[Co-host 3]

That's fair. That's not quite visible. 20. That's 20%, right?

[Brady]

Maybe I'd go higher than that because that New England area is kind of loaded up.

[Co-host 3]

You don't like new?

[Brady]

No, I think it's great. I'm saying add a few. Gotcha.

[Co-host 3]

Gotcha.

[Brady]

So maybe 17 of the 50 stars are worth your trip.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, worth it.

[Brady]

I thought you worth a vacation. All of the Midwest is out. All of it? All of it.

[Co-host 3]

Where does the Midwest start? Is Colorado Midwest?

[Brady]

Just south of Chicago. And then it runs all the way over to like New York.

[Co-host 2]

That.

[Co-host 3]

That's the Midwest to Pennsylvania.

[Host]

Because Iowa would be still Midwest.

[Brady]

Yeah, Iowa too. So you go there. It's south of that. Yeah, that's. Nobody's ever taken trips to that for fun.

[Co-host 3]

Field of Dreams.

[Host]

No, that would be good for like an hour.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Host]

And then what else are you gonna do in Iowa?

[Brady]

I went to Kansas City for three days and I was there for an hour before I was like, this is a bad idea.

[Co-host 3]

I thought you enjoyed Kansas City.

[Brady]

I hated Kansas City. I liked the baseball games, but Kansas City was awful. Yeah, the Midwest stinks. So like there's like 15 states right there in the center that are not something I'd visit.

[Co-host 3]

You've been to St. Louis with hatred for the team.

[Brady]

I have Awful town.

[Co-host 2]

The arch.

[Brady]

No.

[Host]

And what else is there?

[Dick Toledo]

That's it.

[Co-host 2]

That's all.

[Brady]

When that's your big deal. Not a travelable place. There's probably a couple like, Montana's good.

[Co-host 3]

Montana's Colorado.

[Brady]

Wyoming would be on the list.

[Co-host 3]

I don't think those are midwest.

[Brady]

No, I'm saying those are good.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, okay.

[Brady]

Gotcha, gotcha. Arkansas's right out. It's one of the higher ends.

[Co-host 3]

Just go around it.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you got to go to Mississippi.

[Co-host 2]

You gotta go, I think Arkansas. What is? Well, the draws.

[Brady]

There's no drawbriding.

[Co-host 3]

No, because there's no drawing.

[Dick Toledo]

He spent some years there.

[Co-host 3]

Right?

[Brady]

There's no draw there. You've never once gone into a travel agent who has a poster of Arkansas next to Hawaii. There's no draw. If you're going to Arkansas where ozarks was filmed. Nope, not a draw.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't that where you spent summers?

[Co-host 3]

That's where you spent summers.

[Host]

We went only go to hazen, Arkansas just so I could haze chief.

[Co-host 1]

That's about it.

[Brady]

Live. I'd speed around hazen to see if I could get. Hey, where's the race there? Mario Andretti. I'd meet him. That's it. He's. He's the Arkansas.

[Co-host 3]

He is.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. To say the words, the draw is you're not talking about Arkansas anymore at all. There's no draw. Nobody is Go. You know what we're going to do? Let's go to Arkansas this summer. If you don't have just for vacation, it's not happening. You have to have family there. You have to have some sort of weird purpose.

[Co-host 2]

The buffalo river isn't.

[Brady]

No. You know when I first heard about.

[Co-host 2]

That, I did the buffalo. Brett.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

What is it? It's in Arkansas.

[Brady]

Do you know when I first heard about the buffalo river? When you said it about a minute ago.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady]

No one talks about Arkansas's anything. It's awful. There is that bottom of the barrel. Like, is that Mississippi? West Virginia is pretty, but it's bottom of the barrel because of the people.

[Co-host 3]

Mississippi, Tennessee. Surprisingly nice.

[Brady]

Tennessee's nice. I'd say Kentucky.

[Co-host 2]

White water raft in West Virginia and then get out.

[Brady]

Kentucky's out. No, there's other places to do it.

[Co-host 3]

Whitewater raft. That's like deliverance type stuff, isn't it?

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. That's why you don't do it.

[Co-host 2]

Good experience.

[Brady]

No, skip it.

[Co-host 2]

The banjo planes. Unbelievable.

[Brady]

Yeah. 12 to 15 states are worth like going to a place and saying, I'd like to travel there.

[Host]

New Mexico's.

[Brady]

Out. New Mexico said.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That shouldn't be anything. Yeah, visit New Mexico is not. No, maybe Santa Fe maybe, but we've got Sedona. So if you're going to do one or the other, this is for all the tourists here from Miami and Mississippi. Today you came to a good spot. New Mexico's a waste of money and time.

[Co-host 2]

It'll be cold.

[Brady]

But here today you'll be fine.

[Co-host 2]

Grand Canyon.

[Brady]

Beautiful.

[Co-host 2]

A fortune teller in Thailand got arrested on New Year's Day after predicting a woman would lose something valuable. 19 year old victim said saw the guy outside a temple and agreed to pay for a reading. He apparently used tarot cards. 38 year old Fortune teller told her he saw bad luck ahead and that she'd lose a valuable item in her near future. He said he could prevent it for an extra fee. She wouldn't pay it. She realized her iPhone was missing. Later that day, he took it, went back, accused him of stealing it. He denied it. Claimed he just did a really good job at prediction, but even described what the thief looked like.

[Host]

Here we go.

[Co-host 2]

Other people stepped in, then dug through a box of the guy had and found the phone.

[Brady]

There you go.

[Co-host 2]

She called the cops. No word on the exact charges or facing her name.

[Brady]

Her name is Doug.

[Co-host 2]

No, who's Doug?

[Host]

Who's Doug?

[Co-host 2]

I don't know.

[Brady]

When I said Doug, you said Doug threw a box.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, they dug through a box.

[Brady]

Oh, they dug. You didn't say that said Doug.

[Host]

Yeah, it sounded like Doug. Like I said, who's Fairchild.

[Brady]

Hopkins?

[Co-host 2]

Then Doug threw a box.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

D O U G.

[Co-host 2]

The top hot sauce brands of 20, 25.

[Brady]

Random Frank's. You're surprised?

[Co-host 2]

Frank's red hot, number one.

[Co-host 3]

That's because the other one has gone away, isn't it?

[Brady]

Well, no advertising.

[Co-host 2]

That was in number seven. Tabasco, McLaney, Fongs, Sriracha. That's the rooster that was number two. Taco Bell number three. Okay. Cholula number four. Texas Pete five. Then Louisiana brand, which is a Tabasco. Then McElhennies Tabasco, number seven.

[Co-host 3]

And Brady's is where.

[Host]

Yeah. Where's your pick?

[Co-host 2]

No longer being produced. Oh, it was.

[Brady]

I'm sorry. I just killed myself from the world's worst story.

[Co-host 2]

Second year. Second year in a row it's been bumped. Yeah, because it stopped.

[Host]

What's your favorite? Brady. What are you going with?

[Brady]

Gonna keep this going?

[Co-host 2]

Oh, yeah, I like Cholula. All right. Frank's Red Hot's good.

[Brady]

Brady's not gonna say anything bad about any of that list. What's bad?

[Co-host 2]

I don't I'm not a big fan of Texas Pete because just don't like the way the taste profile.

[Brady]

Didn'T I had to shoot twice. That story made me think Arkansas is not such a bad idea.

[Host]

Don't throw your pills away.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, you know what?

[Brady]

You're right. I need to pill out.

[Co-host 2]

Bath and Body Works debuted a new candle last month. Pizza and ranch. People magazine already discontinued said they discontinued it after some people got the candle lit up and gagged. So they got more multiple gag complaints.

[Brady]

About yeah.

[Co-host 2]

So it's probably worth some money now because they discontinue that candle.

[Brady]

Burning dairy is never really on my list of things that I think is going to smell good. Ranch dressing on fire.

[Co-host 2]

It was part of their line of candles called Perfect Pairings. There were three other ones. Coffee and donuts, Popcorn and slushy. Chips and salsa.

[Brady]

The smell of chips and salsa might not be bad. Cookie candles are good. Cake candles are good. They are apple pie ones.

[Co-host 3]

Apple pie is different.

[Brady]

Some of those are good.

[Co-host 3]

But remember Randall used to like vanilla stuff that he would do that just made me sick of vanilla.

[Brady]

His were too strippery.

[Co-host 3]

There you go.

[Brady]

We worked with a guy who burned tons of candles and it smelled you like that sandalwood. It was just too stripperish. It was too sugary.

[Co-host 2]

Remember Depended on his mood.

[Host]

Remember when he would leave the candles on like overnight the whole place?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

John, Texas Pete's sauce tastes like you licked Brady's taint and spit it in a bottle. Wow.

[Brady]

I'll take your word for it.

[Co-host 1]

So it only tastes like if I lick his taint.

[Brady]

Other people get a satisfying taint of flavor off of Brady that I do not get.

[Promo Announcer]

Something something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98K U.

[Dick Toledo]

The NFL playoffs are set and I know my team's in and Underdog is where I'll make watching them the best way to get in on the action. It's Dick Toledo from the Morning Sickness and playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats. My team is on a first round buy but I'll be pulling for Saquon Kittle and Josh Allen to all go higher on their projections. Play the playoffs with me and download the app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code Underdog make picks win Money must be 18 + 19 + in Alabama and Nebraska 19 + in Colorado for some games, 21 + in Arizona, Massachusetts, and Virginia, and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playand getterms. Underscore. Dfs underscore.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call 24. 7 Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY to 467-369.

[Promo Announcer]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Co-host 2]

Got a couple of Brady videos.

[Brady]

Brady, would you be confident letting someone lick your taint right now?

[Co-host 3]

Confident?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You would feel good about that? You wouldn't have to go clean up? No, not at all. All right. Toledo?

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, I'd be good right now.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

I don't know where you're going with that, but yeah.

[Brady]

Showered this morning, too. I just don't think taint looking is something you don't prep for.

[Co-host 3]

So you would not feel comfortable right now?

[Brady]

I'm always comfortable back there. Clean.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Brady]

But just for courtesy's sake, I'd give it a.

[Co-host 3]

For a lick.

[Co-host 2]

I don't know, you know, like, how comfortable I'd be about it. But as far as the, you know, someone getting sick or, like.

[Brady]

You mean emotionally comfortable? You wouldn't like it.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, that'd be tough. The emotional part of it would be.

[Brady]

No, physically, yeah, I'm okay. You're. You're like.

[Co-host 1]

You think it's clean enough?

[Brady]

You would, like if somebody goes, end.

[Co-host 2]

Of the day and I haven't showered?

[Brady]

Of course not. Of course not.

[Co-host 3]

Any day. How about end of the show?

[Brady]

Yeah, end of the show. No, probably.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah. I wouldn't want.

[Brady]

Yeah, you want to go give it a swipe? There's rules to that. I think for every hour you're awake, it's one swipe to the taint.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, man. Okay, so at the end of the show, we got to do six wipes.

[Brady]

You give yourself a nice cleaning.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Brady]

Ladies, are you listening?

[Co-host 2]

It's a sinkhole that happened in a.

[Brady]

QT in Oklahoma, right under the gas pumps. Whoa.

[Co-host 1]

The whole QT went under. Oh, my goodness. Is that real?

[Brady]

That can't be looked at it. No, that's AI. The. The gas pumps just stood back up.

[Co-host 3]

They said it's real. I actually looked at a story.

[Brady]

Really? When it pops again, the gas pumps go back on.

[Co-host 3]

It says Tulsa area, so they're fracking all over.

[Co-host 1]

No kidding.

[Brady]

Oh, don't get all liberal on me on that one.

[Host]

Fracking's off.

[Brady]

Jesus Christ, Kamala, give us a break.

[Guest 1]

Wow. Toledo's right. They're fracking. I said If Toledo is 100% right. You are all on your mind.

[Host]

Those Toledo walls.

[Guest 1]

That's just fracking. That's how that is. That's from fracking.

[Brady]

Now this fracking. They had sinkholes before fracking, Bernie.

[Co-host 2]

This next one, I don't know if it's AI or not, but it's a drone attack.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Co-host 2]

Drone assassin.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, cool. Things going over the tops of buildings.

[Brady]

The breakneck speeds.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, it's looking for a dude here. It's coming down into this building. It's gonna find him.

[Brady]

Is it?

[Co-host 1]

Sh. Oh, it's shooting at a guy.

[Co-host 3]

Oh.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, it just ran itself. Look at the body. Oh, my Lord. So this drone just goes flying into this thing, finds the guy on top of a roof, and then they fly the. You think it's gonna shoot at him? It just flies the drone directly into the guy and blows up. And then when it blows up, his body shoots a building over and lands on the roof next door.

[Brady]

Oh, that's AI or not.

[Host]

That's cool.

[Co-host 1]

That's incredible.

[Brady]

I don't think that's AI because it's like the new. The AI Would make that look clean.

[Co-host 2]

For the grand theft.

[Brady]

Man, that's cool.

[Co-host 3]

And we're floating drones that now in a year and a half, when grand theft comes out.

[Promo Announcer 2]

Is that how long it is?

[Brady]

No, it's just October. Yeah, but they're gonna. It's gonna be pretty magnificent. But that was incredible.

[Co-host 2]

I don't know if I'll get off the roof.

[Brady]

No, you're not gonna make it to the roof. That mission is gonna evade you.

[Host]

He's gonna be walking stairs for hours and hours Advanced.

[Brady]

Yeah, first day will be fit. You're not flying drones on grand Theft.

[Co-host 2]

I'll the elevator.

[Brady]

Yeah, you'll be doing. You'll be the one standing halfway in the door and halfway out doing that walk in space thing.

[Co-host 1]

This game's dumb.

[Co-host 2]

Next is a little Indian cricket.

[Brady]

Oh, with a Brady's.

[Promo Announcer 2]

One of Brady's wicked googly.

[Brady]

He throws at the birth defects on this guy. Every hand is. And foot is facing the wrong way.

[Host]

Wrong with you, Brady.

[Co-host 2]

How do you.

[Brady]

His legs should have Dixon Taonda Litten on the side, cuz they're like the skinniest legs I've ever seen. He can't walk. His stomach. His stomach is.

[Co-host 1]

He does it better than I expected.

[Co-host 2]

It's it's almost like highlight.

[Host]

Take that, Jim Abbott.

[Brady]

His stomach and his hip are his balancing points.

[Co-host 2]

No, hit one of those doggy scoops.

[Brady]

He looks like a doggy. Oh, his hands.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, the.

[Brady]

The.

[Promo Announcer 2]

The.

[Guest 1]

Chuck.

[Co-host 2]

The chuck it.

[Brady]

Yeah. His hands are chuckets. And he lays on his belly and throws the ball. But you know what? By the way, every one of his pitches got taken yard. I don't know if you guys noticed. The hitter was having no problem with his movement.

[Co-host 2]

This last one is a guy at a party dancing labeled Lego Man. You'll see why.

[Brady]

Okay, we're dancing at a party. Oh, my God, there's Lego. Got a close up on a guy who looks like he's got a completely Lego shaped head. All right, Brady, that's a great one. He doesn't blow up or anything.

[Co-host 2]

Yep.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Host]

Dragon should have been the finisher.

[Brady]

What you're asking me to do here is play by play of an action video, not just check out that guy. That's a tough one. That's a tough one for me to do. Play by. Play on. But I look like a Lego man. It's not a lot I can get. We get it. We know what Lego men look like. But had he exploded? Amazing.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. More explosions.

[Co-host 2]

The head popped off.

[Co-host 3]

Let that be your guy.

[Brady]

Or jammed himself into two little circular posts.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. So there's three categories for you.

[Co-host 2]

Bulls.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

And blow ups.

[Brady]

Yeah. Explosions. Brett, you've got different categories.

[Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, and breast milk.

[Co-host 2]

I forgot.

[Brady]

Well, he doesn't. Those are for him.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Brady]

All right, here we go.

[Host]

We'll start off here with a little blind skateboarding.

[Brady]

What literally sold as a blind person about to drop in with the cane.

[Co-host 1]

Got the cane for it as well. We're Kane skateboarding. Doing the super fast ones. Goes up the other side.

[Guest 1]

Oh.

[Co-host 1]

And just jumps out of the bowl.

[Brady]

That's about.

[Co-host 2]

Into the parking lot.

[Co-host 1]

I didn't. I thought it would fall down the second it dropped in. It drops in and does it all the way across.

[Brady]

Hardest part, the skate park.

[Co-host 1]

Just skating away with the thing.

[Brady]

Finds the.

[Co-host 1]

And then.

[Brady]

And then. Doesn't land it. Doesn't land it.

[Co-host 1]

A lot better than I thought.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Still, we knew tragedy was awaiting us. All right, next video. I like that one.

[Host]

We'll start with some fun at the food court.

[Guest 1]

All right.

[Brady]

There's a girl in a very small skirt. It's a KFC food court. She's lifted her butt. She's got a butt plug in. Well, it wasn't a butt plug. It Was a front plug.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, she's taking it out of herself.

[Brady]

And then she took a bite of it and just had a good time there at the KFC food court at the mall. Why is that gross eating that wasn't out of her butt. That came out of the good stuff.

[Co-host 3]

No, no, Brady. Maybe it's the start of her day.

[Brady]

Maybe. No, it's below. No, it's not. There's a hole above that. She gives herself a little flavor taste right there. See that?

[Co-host 3]

Is that the welcome to the Colonel's Chicken?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, it's kfc.

[Co-host 2]

I don't think that's the hole.

[Brady]

No, right above it. You can see it when she pulls it out. It's a double stuff.

[Co-host 3]

Ready? Right. There's the other one.

[Host]

She's pretty clean though.

[Brady]

She just does a good job. It's a good job. Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

And to your point from yesterday, well tanned, had the right.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, she cleaned it up.

[Brady]

There's a bleaching mechanism there. If you're going to show that to people on film, clean it. It's like when you're selling a car. You don't show it after you dirty it up. Yeah, you get in there and you paint the scratches and b holes. The cameras are too clean now. If you're going to show it on camera, you got to get that the stains off.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, God.

[Host]

Let's just go with this.

[Brady]

All right.

[Co-host 1]

Oh my God.

[Brady]

This is a lady wrapped in some sort of Reynolds wrap and then some mechanized sex toys being shove into her mouth.

[Co-host 1]

Now she's just vomiting pure milk and she's. Oh my God.

[Brady]

She. That was. It was like a piston. Show me that again.

[Host]

The sound was pretty good.

[Brady]

This is the sound effects that the Pakistani gave us.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, that's pretty odd.

[Co-host 2]

It almost looks like they did. I think they did multiple takes on this.

[Co-host 3]

That's not how it sounded when bus was throwing up in your.

[Brady]

That was Right. Exactly what it was. No, cuz he burped first. At least he gave me a warning. Bus.

[Co-host 1]

I'm like, oh, God damn it.

[Brady]

Right in my ear.

[Co-host 1]

It was a cuddle. It was a kiss.

[Brady]

Bus.

[Co-host 1]

God damn it.

[Brady]

And then you put your finger in there to like wipe out all the puke that the dog just did.

[Promo Announcer 2]

Is it all over the couch?

[Brady]

Kibble? No, it was on me. It was a little one and it went right into my ear. And as I'm peeling my finger through the canal, little kibble bits, little chewed up cookie. And he's looking at me like, what?

[Co-host 2]

That's okay.

[Brady]

No, it wasn't okay. But again, I would have killed a human being who pukes in my ear. Anyone that goes, hey, I love you, man.

[Co-host 1]

Because that's what he was doing.

[Brady]

He's just like, I love you, man. I love you. Excuse me. Sorry. I still love you. And I wasn't. I didn't throw him or anything.

[Host]

And since it's a rainy day today, let's a little rain into the weather.

[Brady]

There's a girl, a very attractive lady, and she's at a car park. She's getting anally violated. I believe that's on the side of the road there. It's just on a. They're changing a tire. And now she's peeing all over the guy. She's got the.

[Host]

Oh, just wait.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, man, she's. She is full of liquid. This is the most well hydrated woman I've ever seen.

[Host]

And we'll just finish it back.

[Brady]

Oh, my God. There's no way that activity was going on with Grandma and Grandpa Veslie. They invented squirting in the 1990s. That dove didn't exist with Alvar and Isabel. My grandparents did not ever go in the bedroom and lay down. Plastic. Although I've said it for years. That's maybe why all of our grandparents had plastic runners on the floor and plastic on the couches. The worst phrase you've ever heard in your life. Grandma was a squirter.

[Co-host 2]

Why do you have it on there? For guests.

[Guest 1]

Just to keep the kids from dropping food.

[Brady]

Oh, Grandma's a squirter. That got invented recently.

[Host]

So is a lot of the stuff we've seen on my videos.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's a 21st century thing. No freaking way. Mary Todd Lincoln scored it. No way.

[Co-host 1]

And none of her friends did.

[Host]

Well, it wasn't talked about.

[Co-host 1]

I mean, I still had to.

[Brady]

I don't think. Well, those. Those ladies were.

[Co-host 2]

Knock it off.

[Brady]

Beaten to death almost immediately. Back in the day, if you tried that on a man. She's defective now. It's like a badge of honor for men to make or lose it. It's great stuff. Yeah, squirting is a. I think Obama brought that to the party.

[Host]

I think it was Big Mike.

[Brady]

Big Mike was probably. She squirts. There's no doubt about it. She's a squirt. Big Mike will tell you and show you if you're interested. And it's like a Tootsie Roll pop. Three licks and the center comes at you. You don't have to get through the crusty shell. Crusty Shell is a good band name. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Co-host 1]

It's not weird.

[Co-host 2]

It's pretty.

[Co-host 3]

No membership fees.

[Brady]

I have heard enough of this.