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Larry McFeely
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John
Morning sickness.
Dale
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
John
He's evil sitting right here.
Dale
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It's a thing. There are a lie. Don't. Don't you start scenarioing it.
John
Everybody has a line.
Dale
There's a line. Everybody starts in with the but what ifs.
John
Yeah.
Dale
And someone said, what if your sister was lessen up with Dua Lipa? Would you join in if asked? And I said, I don't think. I think they may have found the line. And then Dale added five days to my time with Dua, which means it's cream pies for the family. I'm Little Debbie.
John
All righty, then.
Dale
All right, well, don't ask the question, people always.
John
You might as well put cameras in here, John.
Dale
But don't ask the question if you don't want me to answer it.
John
Yeah, I did. Off the air.
Dale
Oh, well, I'm sorry, but you weren't there. But Henry isn't. He's a listener. He's the one who posed the initial query.
John
And you said absolutely no. That perked your interest a little bit. Oh, yeah.
Dale
Well, I was like, ooh, maybe. And then I couldn't possibly. Yeah. I told you the thing about the glory hole with my dad. If Dua's on the other side, whatever comes through that hole, you have to manually stimulate and then you'll be with me.
John
Okay.
Dale
And then at the. On the other side, like, I just hear my dad through that wall going, I knew he was gay. And he'd be like, hey, Dan, how are you? I was like, yeah, that was not bad. I'm like, yeah, been doing it for years.
John
John, you have such soft hands.
Dale
Yeah, I do. I do, actually. I make sure of that. Anyway, don't ask if you don't want answers. And certainly when I answer, you don't do the.
Brady
Just curious about finding the limit.
John
What.
Brady
What is the line?
John
Yeah.
Brady
What is the threshold?
John
Because you acted so disgusting.
Dale
Mother and daughter combinations are disgusting.
John
Sister and do are not disgusting.
Brady
And.
Dale
Yeah, and it is disgusting unless you give me a full fortnight with Dua Lipa and I'm. Well, he gave you a week with her, right?
John
I know.
Dale
I got half of them. I got seven days.
John
Five days.
Dale
Oh, but after five days, she's gonna.
John
Yeah, I mean, you're gonna be all exhausted anyway.
Dale
Plus, by then, she's gonna have a hard time getting out of the. Well, I've dug.
Brady
It. Tough. What's the notion?
John
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Dale
That'd be a full on jame gum going there. It's time for Brady to entertain us. We're very late. Brady, this is your fault. Entertain me.
Brady
Matthew McConaughey says he can't smoke pot with Woody Harrelson anymore.
Dale
It's too much.
Brady
Says the stuff. Yeah. Doesn't agree with his constitution and mental makeup.
Dale
Adam Ray said he smoked with Woody Harrelson when he was here on New Year's Eve. And he said, it's just not. It's not to the next level. Human. It's not a thing.
John
Yeah.
Brady
Matt Damon achieved what a lot of people would dream of. He did the. His most recent movie at his high school, weight of 167 pounds. He said he trolled around 185 and 200 normally. And they said the biggest thing that he credits to success was giving up gluten.
Dale
I'm not doing that.
Brady
He goes, I found gluten beer. It's been so long since I've had gluten, I can't tell you if it's good or not.
Dale
I don't know what it is, but I know I like it. I'm positive about it.
John
Does gluten have a taste?
Brady
Was the movie that he.
Dale
It's too Hard to Go. No gluten. Yeah, there's gluten and everything. Then you become one of those weirdos that's, like, at restaurants going, and you like the gluten?
John
Well, you know, Nash should tell you that they. In. In underdeveloped countries, there's no gluten.
Dale
There's no gluten allergies. There's dairy allergies. They just. They're hungry.
John
Yeah. What was your high school way.
Brady
Brady, 167, graduated 75 in the summer. I wrestled at 48.
John
148.
Brady
Yeah.
Dale
And I'd go, what year?
Brady
Basically from sophomore year to senior year. 30. I do 30 to 35 pounds a year.
Dale
Wow. Oh, you'd lose it. Oh, so you were not naturally doing it. That is not your. That was not your high school weight. That was your wrestling weight.
Brady
Yeah.
Dale
Your high school weight was like 180.
Brady
Yeah. 175.
Dale
Yeah. Okay.
John
And what are you right now?
Brady
2, 3, 5.
John
Okay.
Dale
Do you want to wrestle him?
John
Do I want to wrestle him? Yeah.
Dale
I don't know what you're asking.
John
No, he's got. He's. No, he's. He's missing a kidney.
Dale
I mean.
John
I don't want to take advantage of that.
Dale
So you're missing. You're missing plenty of stuff. Cognitive resources. And you guys would be an even match.
Brady
Dale picked out his story.
John
Yeah. Go ahead.
Dale
Make it snappy, Dale.
John
Where do we got to go?
Dale
We're late. Larry's up. Now we're running way long. I want to go home.
John
Sarah Michelle Geller would like to know what the new Buffy show, which is called Buffy, New Sunnydale, is not a sequel or reboot. It's a continuation.
Dale
Of what?
John
What's the difference? That's why the name was even important to me. Buffy the New Son. And Dale. It's Buffy, but it's also something else.
Dale
You have no idea what you're talking.
John
I have no idea.
Dale
I've. The Vampire Slayer.
John
I've never seen it.
Dale
You don't know who Sarah Michelle Geller is?
Brady
I.
John
If you show me a picture, maybe, but I don't. I. Come on. Tell me you have not seen one of these movies.
Dale
Oh, I've seen Buffy the Vampire. She was in the TV show Buffy.
John
Why would you watch the TV show?
Dale
Michelle Geller was pretty good looking at the time. She started her career in a children's soap opera called Swan's Crossing. I used to be.
John
There you go.
Brady
That's Buffy.
Dale
Swan's Crossing was in the 80s.
John
Oh, okay.
Dale
Yeah, she's pretty. Swan's Crossing was in the late 80s, early 90s. And I used to watch Swans Crossing because the girls on that were really hot. And I was about the same age, a little younger.
John
You were doing that just to try and prove to your dad you weren't gay? My dad.
Dale
My dad would have thought I was gay for watching a sofa.
Brady
She's married to Freddie Prinze Jr. Yeah.
John
Okay.
Dale
No idea who that is. No, that test.
John
I. I live a real life, Johnny. I don't know Buffy the Vampire.
Dale
Vampire Slayer. You don't.
Larry McFeely
Huge.
Dale
You're familiar with it, though.
John
I've heard of vampire. So, yeah. Yeah.
Dale
Christy Swanson was the. Was Buffy in the movie. Sarah Michelle Geller was Buffy in the show.
John
Good old Christie.
Dale
Christy Swanson's beautiful.
John
You don't know her? No.
Dale
Oh, Dale, you had like. What was the name of that. The football movie she was in, man. James Kahn was Coach and the Coach. Yeah.
John
It wasn't Brian's Song.
Dale
No, no, that was. That's the one you remember. Damn it. But she was in. Christy Swanson was gorgeous.
John
Oh, yeah. She looks pretty. Wow. Anyway. Anyway. Way too much time.
Dale
Never enough Swans Crossing. I'll give you, if we started to go down that road. Big fan of Swans Crossing. Swans Crossing was where I first met Sarah Michelle Geller and said, this little angel's going place every day at 2:30 on channel 45.
John
Oh, pause.
Dale
Nah, I probably tried it, but there wasn't enough. There's too many other things to pause and toss to her teenage. So, anyway, that's enough of you. Dale. Dale Hellister is leaving. We're done with him and we're out. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a glorious Thursday, and we'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning. Sickness solo.
Brady
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.
Dale
I have heard enough of this.
Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And what better way to kick off the new year than with a brand new Toyota from your valley Toyota dealers. New year, new goals, new adventures, and a new Toyota is the perfect way to get you there. Whether you're tackling your commute, heading out on weekend road trips, or just wanting something more reliable for the year ahead. Toyota has the model to fit your lifestyle. So make this the year you drive smarter, safer and happier. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadeealers.
Dale
Com.
Larry McFeely
Toyota. Let's go places.
Episode Theme:
The crew dives into their daily Entertainment Drill, blending wild hypotheticals, celebrity news, and a nostalgic tangent about '90s teen soaps. Special guest Dale Hellestrae joins the banter and the gang pokes fun at each other's pop culture blind spots.
Topic: Taboo "what if" scenarios, led by listener questions.
The discussion kicks off with Dale responding to a bizarre scenario involving his sister and pop star Dua Lipa.
"If your sister was lessen up with Dua Lipa, would you join in if asked? … I think they may have found the line." (01:04, Dale)
"Everybody has a line." (00:56, John)
"Don't ask the question if you don't want me to answer it." (01:35, Dale)
The humor continues with ribald jokes about glory holes and family, all delivered in the classic, irreverent HMS style.
"If Dua's on the other side, whatever comes through that hole, you have to manually stimulate..." (01:51, Dale)
“I told you the thing about the glory hole with my dad. If Dua’s on the other side, whatever comes through that hole, you have to manually stimulate…” (01:51, Dale)
“It’s time for Brady to entertain us. We're very late. Brady, this is your fault. Entertain me.” (03:07, Dale)
“Never enough Swan’s Crossing. Big fan… Swans Crossing was where I first met Sarah Michelle Geller and said, ‘this little angel's going places.’” (07:25, Dale)
“I wrestled at 148… Basically from sophomore year to senior year (I’d lose) 30 to 35 pounds a year.” (04:27, Brady)
The episode is characterized by its trademark blend of playful insults, offbeat hypotheticals, and pop culture confusion. Dale Hellestrae brings old-school TV knowledge and an unfiltered approach, making for a loose, laugh-heavy segment.
Expect outrageous “what ifs,” plenty of jokes at each others’ expense, unexpectedly deep cuts into ’90s soap operas, and a good-hearted roast of anyone who doesn’t know their Buffys from their Swansons.
Skip this one if you’re not ready for some rowdy, adult banter—but for fans of uncensored, pop culture-fueled morning radio, this is classic HMS.