01-08-26 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 01-08-26 - FULL SHOW (Thursday)

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Date: January 8, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Larry McFeely

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Main Theme & Purpose

The main focus of this episode is the crew’s signature blend of irreverent, unfiltered banter on contemporary social issues, mental health and medication, generational change, sports, music, and pop culture. They debate the overmedication of society, discuss accountability versus medical excuses in major crimes, share personal stories of heartbreak, reflect on generational parenting, and preview happenings in Phoenix (the Fiesta Bowl, Book of Mormon musical). Sports (NFL, college football, Suns) and the podcast team’s trademark off-the-cuff humor and raw honesty set the tone.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Arizona Weather & Local Mood

• The hosts open with rare rainy weather in Phoenix, quipping about how it’s a good day for depressive people as the “world feels as gray as they do.”
  • Quote: “Great day for miserably depressed people because everyone feels like you today. You're normal. Finally.” – John (01:41)

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2. Mental Health, Medication, and Accountability

• In-Depth Rant on Overmedication:
  The group debates the case of Nick Reiner, accused murderer, and how medication is used as a legal excuse. They express frustration over society’s increasing reliance on mood-altering drugs, blaming doctors and absent fathers, and call for more personal responsibility.
  • Holmberg’s Hot Take: He jokes about making “No Meds January,” criticizing excuses based on medication for horrific acts.
  • Quote: “If it’s just a pill a day keeping you from lobbing someone’s head off, I'd prefer it if you were not medicated so we could just put you away.” – John (10:56)
  • On Meds and Excuses:
    • “He’s guilty. There’s no degrees of that. You wander into somebody’s house while they’re asleep and you open their throat. And it’s not medicine’s fault. It’s your fault.” – John (03:17)
    • “I think we should flush them if you've got them this morning.” – John (09:19)
  • Parenting Reflection:
    • “More men whacking kids in the back of the melon. That’s it. Period.” – John (13:39)
    • Stories about dads smacking sense into kids—not as abuse but as tough love.
    • Touching on the rise of “single motherhood” and associating lack of father figures with problems that currently get “medicated.”

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3. Generational Differences & Childhood Heartbreak

• The hosts reminisce about their first heartbreaks in middle school, emphasizing that past generations just dealt with sadness (no drugs); parents played a different (sometimes comically harsh) role in handling “the blues.”
  • “Nobody offered me drugs to clear that up. My dad's just laughing — Finally, he's not gay, that's all my dad cared about!” – John (16:21)
• Humorous stories about grade school contracts (“paperwork”) for dating, young crushes, and eventual rejections that shaped them.

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4. Society, Pills, and Adult Responsibility

• Cultural Critique:
  John rails against modern dependency on pharmaceuticals, blaming both parents and drug companies.
  • "Where’s the evidence that this whole pill up the nation thing has worked? They always say kids are more depressed than they've ever been. Now they say they harm themselves more... suicide rates are higher... They don’t have sex anymore, they don’t have fun anymore, they don’t drink anymore. Where’s the evidence says it's working?" (33:38)
  • “If you've ever thought to yourself, well, this is for my kid's benefit, maybe you're just masking problems he can get over without them.” – John (38:07)

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5. Admitting to Drug Use – and Swapping Pills

• The group admits to recreational drug swapping, particularly with Adderall, and unpacks how it’s “legal cocaine” and socially normalized.
  • “She would go, and she didn't want hers, and I didn't want my pain pills, so we made a swaparoo. It's like trading cards.” – John (09:51)
  • “All Adderall people give it to friends for fun.” – John (83:53)
• Comparing taking Adderall to diet pills rather than genuine mental health needs.

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6. Joking About Student Drivers and Reckless Driving

• John shares his “joy” in testing student drivers by intentionally stressing them out on the road, gleefully describing how he purposely acts erratically for their benefit (and his amusement).
  • “I go out of my way... If I see a student driver, I'll call and say, I'm gonna be a little later than you thought. I will drive them. Nothing better…” – John (29:47)

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7. Book of Mormon Musical – Rave Reviews & Local Buzz

• Preview and glowing testimonials for The Book of Mormon musical in town, with multiple hosts sharing their love for its sharp humor, even noting the buy-in from the LDS (Mormon) church via advertisements in the program.
  • “Without question the most complete piece of comedy I've ever watched. It is so funny. Painfully funny. Even if you're Mormon, you can… go, okay, well, there is some of this stuff… that is true.” – John (53:07)
  • Repeated Gushing: The show is “so good” it's worth selling plasma to afford a seat (61:04); “You cannot be disappointed by Book of Mormon. You can't.” (54:43)

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8. Sports Segment Highlights

• Fiesta Bowl Preview:
  • Miami vs. Ole Miss; Michael Irvin, Ray Lewis, Warren Sapp in town—humorous speculation on wildness in the streets and the “convict” reputation of Miami football alums.
    • “The city is loaded with rap sheets because Miami's here. So be careful because the python hunters are their fans. They're weirder than the actual convict. And I think they're going to win.” – John (123:26)
• NFL Playoff Talk:
  • Banter on coaching changes, Cardinals' futility, and who should coach next.
  • Fun wager on a playoff parlay with the crew—stakes, picks, and playful ribbing.
• Phoenix Suns:
  • Praise for the Suns’ new energy, teamwork, and flow.

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9. International News – The Bravest Man in Pakistan

• The saga of a man in Abbottabad, Pakistan, who tried to open the country’s first openly gay bar, filing official paperwork. The segment explodes into both dark humor and a rare moment reflecting on true bravery under cultural repression.
  • “How powerful is being gay? That's the best way to describe to people that being gay isn't a choice. Because in Pakistan, if it's a choice, the choice is easy: I don't diddle with Brett's butt, I don't get blown up. But if I cannot stop thinking about Brett's butthole... that's how strong being gay is.” – John (67:30)
• The hosts take the opportunity for irreverent, over-the-top impressions, but ultimately admire the courage involved.

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10. Stray Observations & Listener Interaction

• Rapid-fire exchanges on everything from hot sauce rankings and unusual candles to the oddest trivia.
• Recap of recent events, jokes about odd candle scents, discomfort around Texas Pete’s hot sauce, adventures with bathing and peeing, and videos involving outrageous behavior (with John providing gleeful play-by-play).
• Banter about travel-worthy and “non-travel” U.S. states, with Arkansas emerging as the ultimate "no thanks."

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Notable Quotes

• Mental Health & Pills:
  • “If it's just a pill a day that's keeping you from lobbing someone's head off, I'd prefer it if you were not medicated, and we could just put you away.” – John (10:56)
• Parenting & Discipline:
  • “We need more men whacking kids in the back of the melon. That's it. Period. End of story.” – John (13:39)
• Student Drivers:
  • "Nothing better than student drivers... If I see a student driver, I'll call and say, I'm gonna be a little late... I will drive them." – John (29:47)
• Book of Mormon Musical:
  • “If you haven’t seen Book of Mormon and you like funny, man, you’re not going to find it put together better.” – John (54:26)
  • “You cannot be disappointed by Book of Mormon. You can't.” – John (54:43)
• On Being Gay in Pakistan:
  • "How powerful is being gay? ...If it's a choice, the choice is easy. But if I cannot stop thinking about Brett's butthole... that's how strong being gay is." – John (67:30)
• Banter on Arkansas:
  • "No one talks about Arkansas's anything. It's awful." – John (99:48)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 5:45 – 14:30 Rainy day, mood, and opening monologue; medication and murder case discussion.
• 14:30 – 22:00 Childhood heartbreak stories and the paperwork of grade-school dating.
• 22:00 – 38:00 Adderall, pill swapping, accountability, generational differences.
• 29:00 – 34:00 Student drivers and John’s “joy” in tormenting them on the road.
• 53:00 – 62:00 “Book of Mormon” musical – reviews, recommendations, anecdotes.
• 64:00 – 77:00 The Pakistani gay bar story, bravery, and international culture discussion.
• 86:00 – 97:00 News headlines, bath and hygiene conversation, more zany trivia.
• 132:00 – End Dale Hellestrae joins for sports talk: NFL playoffs, Suns, local coaching debates, football picks.

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Flow, Language, and Tone

Irreverent, darkly comedic, honest, bantering, never holding back.
John Holmberg steers the ship with biting sarcasm, vivid storytelling, and wild analogies while Brady, Bret, Toledo, and Larry provide color commentary, personal anecdotes, and rapid-fire rejoinders. The show bounces organically between pointed social critique, “dad stories,” personal admissions, playful arguing, local Arizona flavor, and edgy humor that sometimes veers into shock-jock territory but often circles back to genuine insight.

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Memorable Moments

• Holmberg’s “No Meds January” tirade (10:24).
• Stories of heartbreak and how dads handled it in the 70s and 80s (16:10).
• The Pakistani gay bar saga as a window into real courage and cultural repression (starting ~63:00; peaking at 67:00–77:00).
• Rave, near-evangelical recommendation for the Book of Mormon musical (54:00+).
• John’s elaborate, mischievous campaign to stress out student drivers (29:00+).

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

You’ll come away understanding:

• Why the hosts believe medication is overprescribed and personal accountability is underplayed
• The comic and tragic differences in growing up “then” and “now”
• That even the most bizarre news (a gay bar in Pakistan) can prompt thoughtful reflection—if you dig through the jokes
• The local Phoenix culture: weather, driving, sports, and entertainment
• The singular, unfiltered chemistry of the show—a mix of social commentary, sports, nostalgia, raunchy humor, and community insight

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The episode is a near-three-hour ride of cathartic laughter, pointed rants, personal confessions, sports speculation, and local color—a must-listen for those loving raw morning radio with a sharp opinionated edge.

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Transcript

[Larry McFeely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesley]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It is 5:45 this the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett. Big Dick Toledo's around here somewhere. We move on with yet another perfect day. Rainy day here. A beautiful rainy day, which I love. We get them every once in a while. Cleans the air and then we go back about our business. Winter is officially here for the next three or four days. So, you know, batting down everything in.

[Brady]

A nice little London fog yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Beautiful. It's perfect. I like it. And sleeping's easier and just, just better. You could be depressed and it all makes. See, this is a good day for depressed people. It's like, yeah, see, I told you guys. Everything's gray and miserable. It's like, that's right.

[Larry McFeely]

So loosen that noose up and loosen it up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, live a little, man. We're all feeling. We're all. It's great day for miserably depressed people because everyone feels like you today. You're normal. Finally.

[Brady]

There's no sound bowls going.

[John Holmberg]

There's no need to go. Yeah, that's true. Probably most. That's probably true. Like that would be the one that would be like, see, we all hate life. That's it. You're fine with that. Don't go running off and slaughtering family members and stuff because your meds are wrong. How in the world is that happening over in the. We've gotten too, I don't know, intricate with our murder, you know, If I steal something from Circle King, nobody ever says, what was he going through? I just stole it. But when you murder someone, people are like, yeah, but what was on his mind that day? Degrees of murder. First, second, and third.

[Brady]

He's having a bad day.

[John Holmberg]

You can accidentally murder somebody. I understand. Actually, you don't accidentally steal. Or you actually can accidentally steal. Pick it up, put it in your front. Go. Oh my God. I accidentally picked up. I didn't pay for it. And your reaction is pretty.

[Brady]

I better kill somebody.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that there are no degrees of. But now this Nick Reiner thing comes up and they're saying he's not guilty because his doctors put him on medicine that didn't work.

[Brady]

And the meds backfired.

[John Holmberg]

And it backfired. Made him schizophrenic and murderous. Well, he seemed pretty targeted. I think if your medicine makes you a murderer, the next guy you're close to is who you're gonna kill. Right. Unless you're thinking about stuff. And then you start thinking about it. It's like, you know, I really. I am murderous.

[Brady]

But.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm gonna target that. I'm gonna go all the way over to my. You murdered somebody. There's no degree of that. You're done. But they're blaming his doctor. Now that poor bastard's just like, this nut bag needs everything. Try this. Cause he gave him new medicine. Cause he was probably going into his psychiatrist's office going, I'm gonna kill my parents. He's like, geez, Louise, gotta get you on some stronger meds. No, the dude's a murderer. He's guilty. There's no degrees of that. You wander into somebody's house while they're asleep and you open their throat. And it's not medicine's fault. It's your fault.

[Brady]

What's crazy is how it works. You know, if in fact they're going to go with that on the outside. We know his first high profile attorney has bailed.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, maybe four. Because he was going to say murder.

[Brady]

His current attorney is going to go with it. Now you find a jury that doesn't know any of this.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. That's a thing everybody thinks happens. That's not.

[Brady]

What if that was introduced. If you had no background. And also.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Well, if you're not aware people.

[Brady]

But how are you not been influenced over the years through the medicine night?

[John Holmberg]

They're just looking for people who. Yeah, they're gonna find People who are like okay with, you know, people on medicine or whatever, It'll be a 50, 50. The jury thing is that everybody thinks it's just a bunch of oblivious people who have no idea. They're just not influenced by. I've had friends on juries that knew about the case, but they're like, I didn't care. And they kind of get you through that little process of going, he's good for our side and then the other side gets six the same way and it all works out. Some people are, but I think most everybody knows something goes through and they.

[Brady]

You know, like you said, looking at the person in their mind immediately, well.

[John Holmberg]

If that's the case, then you shouldn't be on the jury. And you'll usually get flushed out. Like if you're a person who's, you know, they have questions for you to make sure you're not just going to blurt out like, I think he's guilty because of how he looks. Or I looked at this and I knew they know they got people who, reasonable people will sit on juries. I would do it. I'd be on this jury, I'd be like, look, I have no, you know, stake, but I do know deep in my heart I'm like, he's guilty of this, but prove me wrong. You gotta be open minded, man. Hearing his lawyers and reading the story this morning and everything else, I'm like, no, there were no degrees. In fact, if you're on loads and loads of medicine, you know, did they have this problem before where people just before medicine.

[Brady]

Not since the meds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the meds are like really a catalyst for losing people. They always, that's a phrase. People just get off your meds. Oh, he's off his meds and he's gonna do something terrible. The meds make it so you only feel good. You never have bad things happen. And if they're not, you know, not working great, a bad thing's gonna feel like a plane crash. Even if it's just like bad traffic. I don't get it. You're right.

[Brady]

It used to be he wasn't taking his meds. This is why it happened now. He took these meds.

[John Holmberg]

There's been medication that's been a thing too in the past where it's like, oh, his medicine didn't react properly. You get him on the wrong thing. But everybody's over medicated. So I say today is the day nobody takes their meds and let's just see what happens. You think, no, no, you're not that hyperactive. Just kind of keep it in mind. Calm down, you don't need medicine for that.

[Larry McFeely]

Look, senior emails.

[John Holmberg]

You know what, they're all medicated. It's not working.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Get off your meds. Today's the day. Go into that bathroom and flush them. Every one of you. Flush your meds and see how it goes. And you know what? Just be a little more self responsible, like a little more self awareness to sit back and go, you know what? Once I start acting up, I need to be aware of it. And that's, you know, no more mom voice in the corner in your ear. This is the single mother problem, by the way.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm going more with that.

[John Holmberg]

Dad used to whack you in the back of the head when you acted a fool. Look, I would have been on if I was at the out. Let's take you back. Let me take you Back to Titanic. October 1981. I am at the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. Now this is a very strange and loud place to be for a 78 year old kid. And I didn't understand it. And if you would, if it would have been 20, 25 and I heard those noises every three steps. I've got another thing.

[Brady]

The world's ending.

[John Holmberg]

I hated the sound. I hated vacuums. I didn't like all sorts of weird things immediately today I'm neurodivergent, I'm on pills, I've got issues, I've got autism, I've got all this other stuff. But what, what, you know what snapped me out of it? I got whacked in the back of the head by my dad. And he said the words, you're acting like a retard, you're embarrassing us. Knock it off. And I was like, well, I don't want to be confused for a retard. That was, that was my thinking. So I tried to just bottle it up and I did a good job. But it was the most horrifying thing. Now I do remember my mom going, it's okay. It is scary. And if my dad wasn't there, she'd have just made it. So everything was horrifying and I was right. And then I'd have gone to a doctor and like shaking, still shaking, you know, so you gotta. And there are some cases where kids do it. Everybody take your medicine today. Dump it in the toilet and let's just see what happens. Let's just flush it out.

[Brady]

I kind of had a double medicine in a way natural. I had my, you know, your parents, your dad, sure. And then the sky wizard and you.

[John Holmberg]

Had the fear that looking over.

[Brady]

You don't want to do that because you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you had a fear of the Let2People Sky Dictator burnt because he loved you so much. Burning you to death if you did something silly. I mean, that is the ultimate sign of love. The word smoked is you give. You burn for forever. Forever. Forever. Yeah. He'll burn you forever because he loves you so much. He will torture you and burn you forever. You'll be on your best behavior for elf on a shelf is what he is. Take your meds, throw them away. Because if I'm reading about this, and if this dude gets out of this at all or ends up in a psych hospital is not guilty. Come on. They never said OJ was going through anything. They never, ever tried to say, well, we have. Nobody even asked, what's OJ going through? Immediately, we know what happened. He murdered. He went nuts. That's what happened. Doesn't matter what the circumstances are. He went bananas, slaughtered his family.

[Brady]

I guess you could. Hopefully they can point out. Okay, so the meds affect him, but he could schedule this.

[John Holmberg]

No, see, that's the thing on the medicine. You were at a party, a murderous. You were looking to have fun. No, you take medicine out of the equation and your parents get their heads cut off in the middle of the sleep. No, nobody can say, well, it was the meds. It's you. It's a little more accountability without medicine. I think we should flush them if you've got them this morning. And I know, look, you need some Adderall to get through your day. It's fun. It's legal cocaine. I get it. I've taken Adderall. I enjoyed it. But I didn't take it for medical purposes. I mean, technically, I wasn't prescribed.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, somebody was.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I was prescribed it. No, I wasn't, actually. Me and another person who work here, she would go, and she didn't want hers, and I didn't want my pain pills, so we made a swaparoo.

[Larry McFeely]

It's like. It's like trading cards.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what we did.

[Larry McFeely]

Trade you my Henderson rookie for your Dwight gun Rookie.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good trade. Yeah, that's a solid trade right there. All right. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. So I wasn't prescribed these, but. And I took them for a minute because they were like, you know, if you got a little tips or something, I thought they were fun. So I had them in the background of, you know, Vegas weekends, And things like that and Adderall's treat. And it's legal.

[Brady]

You guys recommended.

[John Holmberg]

I gave you some, and you, you know, tried it. Yeah. You sat quietly and stared at the walls and occasionally made the daffy Duck noise and ran around the casino for a minute, and it was a good time. It's not for everybody. That's recreational use. But when it's prescribed to you, it's also used as an excuse to have bad behavior. And I'm just done with it. I think we go Darwin on this thing, and everybody flushes their meds. No meds. January. We have dry December or dry January. Waste of time, no meds. Let's see what it is. And if you end up cutting your parents head off, you'd be like, well, I was off my meds.

[Brady]

Those meds work.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you should have thought about that. Because if it's just a pill a day that's keeping you from lobbing someone's head off, I'd prefer it if you. You were not medicated, and we could just put you away. I think that's a nice thing. I hated hearing that. I was sitting there looking at this. I'm like, how's that lawyer go to sleep at night? And I get it. You're a lawyer. Your job is to get your client out of there. But if your excuse is, well, he took a pill. Yeah. He sure. He chopped their heads like Jodi Arias. Yeah, I did it. But you don't know what I was going through. But you're still. What woman would ever let you off the hook with us? Like, I've had a tough couple weeks, so I stuck my wiener in her mouth. And it's like, you don't know what I'm dealing with.

[Larry McFeely]

You've seen the photos. You would have, too.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. You're not. There's no degrees of other stuff. It's just murder. We should make it so murder's the one with no degrees. And give me some. Brett's going through a tough day. He didn't have any money, so he stole Chocodiles and a Coke. You know, you're like, yeah, well, that's third degree stealing. The poor guy. Wife just left him. He got in a car wreck. He's got, you know, he lost all his money. Who knows? He got fired that day. He steals the chocolate dogs in a Coke. People would understand it. Third degree theft.

[Brady]

If you're taking meds and you're fine, I mean, like, nope. You know, I take some blood pressure meds and.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's Different. That's not mood altering.

[Brady]

You know, you can change it up and all of a sudden it seems like every one of them, no matter what, thoughts of depression.

[John Holmberg]

I will tell you this. You get off those blood pressure meds, there are ways to get off of that is a fact. And so you don't have to take them.

[Brady]

And actually if you.

[Larry McFeely]

That's too hard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the harder thing to do. That's. Again, accountability is out the window.

[Brady]

The silent killer.

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Brady]

Blood pressure?

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

High blood pressure.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. But that's because of a lot, most of the time, behavioral issues. And then you can kind of regulate that, monitor everything else and keep an eye on. If you got a bad heart, bad situation, you keep an eye on. On that and keep it together. Brady, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to take away your meds, but I'm talking about mood altering drugs, not, you know, life saving.

[Brady]

Clarify that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, no, I don't have to clarify. You should probably work hard to get off of.

[Brady]

I forgot my meds before.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, work hard to get off. Yeah, but it doesn't mean you're going to go slaughter to lead. No, you don't.

[Brady]

And I don't know if you know, it's still in your system, what, A little bit The. The meds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but again, it doesn't matter. It's not going to alter your brain chemistry because you're already screwed up enough to have something else try to switch that back. We're out there driving around with these people. They're sitting there, one one speed bump at 18 miles an hour away from having the medicine jar them back over.

[Brady]

How'd that new pill work out? Thought about killing my mom. Well, let's get you on a different one.

[John Holmberg]

This is the fault, and I'm not blaming single mothers. It's the fault of having sex with dudes who leave. And it's men's fault for leaving. We need more men. Whacking kids in the back of the melon. That's it. Period. End of story. Young K. Need dads to get there to go, what the hell's wrong with you? I just have this murderous rage. Knock it off. And then you go, ow. It's not a beating. It's a reminder. You can't be that way in society. They're so quick to put. They don't know how to. They don't know how to be sad. They don't know how to be depressed. Everybody's depressed. Whenever something you don't chop your legs Open just because you're depressed or start carving initials into your body. You just deal with it every. Who's the first girl that knocked you on your ass? Brett? You remember her name? Oh, don't act like it didn't happen.

[Larry McFeely]

No, it did.

[John Holmberg]

It did.

[Larry McFeely]

No, no, it did. It did. I'm just trying to remember.

[John Holmberg]

You don't remember her name? Oh, man, everybody remembers her name. The first one that made you sit in a room and like, go, oh, no, this life's never gonna be the same.

[Larry McFeely]

I can't remember her name, but I'm not saying it.

[John Holmberg]

How old were you? Young. Yeah. 12, 13. It's usually the first one. We feel like the world's 11 or 12. She's not paying attention. She doesn't like me. Mine was a girl named Christie Allen. Christie Allen in sixth grade, Roosevelt Elementary School. She was beyond a crush. I was gonna marry her. We were 12. It was. And then. And then she started hanging out with a kid named Warren. I'm like, what the hell's going on here? I thought we were in love. And she looked at me and she goes, we hardly ever talk to each other.

[Brady]

Now.

[John Holmberg]

What I had done is create this relationship in my head with her because we sat next to each other in school and I wrote her a note that said, will you go with me? And she checked the S box and I'm going, that's just locked in for life. We're good here. I've got paperwork. We're moving forward. Then I didn't do anything about it. I just looked at her and I'd be like, my God, I don't know what this thing's for, but it gets excited when it's around you. And I go home and I'd touch things. Wow. And then she'd pop in my mind and would make it faster. I'm like, that's fantastic. She's done a wonderful job. What a great girlfriend. Hardly talked to her. She ends up talking to this kid named Warren Jeffs. No, not Warren Jeff, but that would have been nice. He was about 38. I don't remember. He was a good looking kid. It could have been Warren. I can't remember his last name. I think it started with an L, but I don't remember. And they started holding hands and walking around school and like, what's going on here?

[Larry McFeely]

You had the paperwork, though.

[John Holmberg]

I had the pay. I showed her that. What happened here? Aren't you supposed to write me a note back saying, no, like, break this off clean. She just disappeared. I was at home, sobbing. It was a disaster.

[Brady]

I was fifth grade, too. Paperwork.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, paperwork.

[Brady]

You go with me.

[John Holmberg]

I had it circled.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody offered me drugs to clear that up. My dad's just laughing. What happened? Oh, there was a girl at school and broke his heart. Finally. He's not gay. That's all my dad cared about. Is he gay? He's a guy. Or is it girl? Did you see her?

[Brady]

Dan, just leave him alone.

[John Holmberg]

And you'd hear that half a smile on his face. How you doing there, champ? I'm fine. Get out of here, you idiot.

[Brady]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

We all go through this. How far did you get with her? What? There'll be others. No, there won't. It's never the same. I had paperwork.

[Larry McFeely]

Was this before or after the rulers?

[John Holmberg]

Before the ruler.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Larry McFeely]

So then.

[John Holmberg]

Year and a half before. Well, then I think he thought maybe Christy Allen drove me to wanting to blow guys. That was. That was my dad's biggest fears in my life were, is he gay? Is he alive? That's all. I think he woke up every morning and looking. Okay, he's alive and there's no guys in his bed. All right, bye. Have a nice day.

[Brady]

I got the paperwork for Mary Florence and I went to Washington, D.C. for two days on a trip that was. You know. And so I'm like, I gotta ice this paperwork.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you gotta make this right.

[Brady]

So I bought her a necklace with a little, you know, like, in Washington, D.C. pendant. Because it was 1976.

[John Holmberg]

Incredibly Republican, excellent work, sixth grade presence.

[Brady]

President Ford.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Was it a picture of President.

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[Brady]

It's just. I think it might have been the presidential.

[John Holmberg]

So right around 7-4-76.

[Brady]

Well, 200 during the school year.

[John Holmberg]

Because I came back and I'm getting.

[Brady]

Ready to get it, give it to her, and you're basically ghosted.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she didn't.

[Brady]

I was like, oh, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, wait.

[Brady]

I never.

[John Holmberg]

You never gave her a present? You gave her the present? She didn't care.

[Brady]

Gave her the present. Why not? Because it was kind of. I got the paperwork, and then afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

You got the yes, I got to go with me stuff.

[Brady]

More or less.

[John Holmberg]

You got the X on the yes.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then came back with presents. Yeah.

[Brady]

And she was gonna be great.

[John Holmberg]

And when you went to give it to her, she was just.

[Brady]

She just didn't even get an opportunity to give it to her.

[John Holmberg]

She just stopped being in your life. Wow. And crushed the rough one. Yeah.

[Brady]

I found that necklace about 10 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

You held on to that.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's because I want.

[John Holmberg]

Just in case Re gift it, you know? Yeah. What if she comes back? You had paper and I did for.

[Brady]

One of the reunions.

[John Holmberg]

That's a breach of contract, what you have here. And you go back and say you owe me 3.95 for this 1970 price. It's about 14 bucks now. Yeah, that's a tough one. We all have gone through re gift, huh? They pill up everything. He's so sad, Doctor. I don't understand. He's sad and doctors are like, okay, let's get him on pills. Because that's a booming trillion dollar business to put your kids on those. Then they get used to that. And then you tell them, don't take drugs. Drugs are bad for you. But the whole message has always been, if you ever feel a little off, drugs fix it. Doesn't make sense. I bet you Rob Reiner wished he'd have hit Nick a few more times in the back of the head. Straightened them out younger. The other kids seemed to get it. That was the one that didn't throw your pills in the trash today. Give it a try. So a few of you go off the rails. We'll just keep our eyes open. Us normals will keep our eyes open for the wackadoos that are wandering around like, there's one. Stay away from that. It's just like the zombie apocalypse. But then they'll just. They'll just wander off into traffic on their own, and we'll get rid of this problem. There'll be a whole lot less of them. You don't like my idea, I'm going.

[Larry McFeely]

To M and P Guns and buying some lead pills just in case.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, we'll pill you up. Yeah. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Byron will take care of me.

[John Holmberg]

Us normals will defend ourselves and the Looney Tunes will run out there and be off their meds for.

[Brady]

Just for a day.

[John Holmberg]

Let's try it for 24 hours and see what happens. I think it's great. This guy said, did you go full Fatal Attraction and hold the note while you turn the lamp on and off? There was some behavioral issues with. With my first real official kind of like heartbreak. Like, I got real good at it, though. Like, I got used to heartbreak. Yeah, I got real, real used to getting into, like, diving in mentally to liking someone and thinking, all right, this. This girl. I like this. And then. And then having her not like me being like a real. Yeah, all right, well, whatever. And it just became. Just became sort of like, I'm used to like, you pretty much are just like, oh, my dad actually told me that Years ago. And I still use that line. And except for we've expanded. He said, There's 2 billion people on this planet. Most of them aren't gonna like you. Most of them will never know you. It's just one person. And I was like, that's not bad. That's pretty good. And. But in my brain, I'm like, my dad told me that pretty much the world hates me, like, from the back. It's gonna be tough. And then you think about it, and he's right. Maybe in your whole life, you've got about 12 or 13 people that actually really like you. And the rest are indifferent. That's a. At this point, it's 7 billion people indifferent about whether or not you exist. I know it's gloomy out there, but that's a great way to live life. Your inner circle is all that matters. Oh, yeah, and also you, Christy Allen, and you too, Warren. Warren always used to wear journey shirts. He was like a journey expert. Loved him. Twink.

[Brady]

I was just crazy.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was the killer part is that one day at Roosevelt Elementary School, we were playing and all I cared about at recess was, like, being king of the court. Like, we play sports and I always wanted to. That's all I cared about. Like, I'm gonna have a great day out there instead of wandering around, you know, chasing my contractually obligated. Not girlfriend. Girlfriend. And I remember Warren never played sports, and he was always one of those captain save a hose. Before I knew what that was, he's wandering around, hanging out with the girls, and they'd be doing something and Warren would be milling around, which is the smarter thing to do. In hindsight, there's something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast.

[Unidentified Guest]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's Larry Mc.

[Larry McFeely]

What better way to kick off the.

[John Holmberg]

New year than with a brand new Toyota from your Valley Toyota dealers?

[Larry McFeely]

New year, new goals, new adventures and.

[John Holmberg]

A new Toyota is the perfect way to get you there, whether you're tackling.

[Larry McFeely]

Your commute, heading out on weekend road trips, or just wanting something more reliable.

[John Holmberg]

For the year ahead.

[Larry McFeely]

Toyota has the model to fit your.

[John Holmberg]

Lifestyle, so make this the year you.

[Larry McFeely]

Drive smarter, safer and happier. Visit your Valley toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[Brett Vesley]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

And then I saw him and Christie. There was a big tree lined on the center of the recess, like this big field we played in. And I saw them like hugging and I'm pretty sure kissing. And it was like somebody just tore my insides out through him. But did I, Did I murder Warren? No, I just rooted for his stuff. He may not like. I wish I could remember his last name. So Breck at Instagram and see him as, you know, the poorly aged. Probably attorney fans, some loser, who knows.

[Larry McFeely]

But it's a Journey tribute band.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe that would be hilarious.

[Brady]

Got the Neil Sean Fro going, and.

[John Holmberg]

He'S married to Christy Allen and she is just a fat hog. And I'm like, oh, bullets dodged.

[Larry McFeely]

We've seen playing this weekend over at the Rebel Lounge in his Journey cover band.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Time machine Journey. Oh, yeah. And here's the other thing. For anybody who gets depressed and thinks it's never going to end, you always have the possibility that a couple years down the road, the person who broke your heart is miserable, suffering, and possibly homeless. And that is the most joy. Again, we're going back to yesterday, the most joy you can ever have. Tripp came into my office yesterday and said, man, you kind of nailed something this morning when you said you have to have hate to have love joy. He goes, you know, there's a saying in golf. Every shot makes someone happy. Like that's true. Good, bad or otherwise. Somebody's happy at what just happened that's your therapy lesson for today. Now throw those pills away and take some chances. I don't think you should be allowed out of the house if you're on a pill that keeps you from murdering me. I think that's the bigger story. Well, on his pills, he's not murderous at all. I'm like, that's not enough for me. Like, the fact you have him as murderous without. Because I don't think anybody would diagnose me as like, well, if he doesn't have his Diet cokes, he's gonna kill some people. Pretty much just be like, it's gonna be a couple rough days for him. He might have some headaches, might lash out or be a little irritable. That's as far as it goes. That's human behavior.

[Brady]

Well, it's. It's scary enough as you're not even on pills and you have these thoughts.

[John Holmberg]

That's my point. They put you on pills cause you have those thoughts. That's not enough for me. I need those big jackets back. Those big long arm jackets that strap those freaks up for a little while and kind of keep them away from us. And then, oh, that's not how you do it. Maybe it is. I'm not seeing what you guys are at all the defenders of this. I'm not seeing it working. I'm not seeing a whole lot of, hey, this is aces across the board. Nobody ever gets mad the pills are working.

[Brady]

My grandfather didn't take any chances.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I grew up as a kid without pills and never once had to worry that someone was gonna walk through my school with an AR15. Never once had that thought. Never once. That was pre pills. Never once did my parents go, well, he's probably gonna get shot up at a school. Never crossed my mind. Parents have to deal with that every day. Today, the day that somebody wanders through off their meds and shoots up my kids school, that's an ep. That's sense pills. Two things that ruin society. Medicating kids and Baby on Board placards. Because that's when we started overprotecting them. Baby on board, that's your responsibility. Don't put that in my ass. What are you telling me about that for?

[Brady]

Brett's bumper sealer says AR15 on board.

[John Holmberg]

Damn right, baby. Do you think I'm more. Do you think I'm. I'm like trying to hit cars like I'm nuts. But if I see that little Baby on board thing, I was like, well, I'm not gonna hit that one. I Was trying to protect myself. I'm the baby on board. I'm the most precious thing on the road to me. When I'm in the car, I'm protecting me. Not thinking about your baby. That's your job. In fact, it made me speed past person with baby on board because usually they drive slower and they're a little bit too worried. They're distracted. Baby on board.

[Larry McFeely]

Baby behind wheels.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

What it should say. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

On board. Can't control her kids. Baby on board. Really?

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[Brady]

That causes you to tailgate more.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, student driver. The sign that says student driver causes me to be the world's biggest jackass. I cannot get enough. If I saw one on the freeway the other day. Oh, the weaving. Had the radio all the way up, and I'm just acting like I'm not paying attention. I go full chips on him, and I just start drifting that Bronco as close as I can. Poor little Indian kid inside just freaking out.

[Brady]

What does this gay guy doing?

[John Holmberg]

What is he doing? Where is him and his gay friend doing this to me? Just keep it stay there, Vishnu. You'll be fine. My name is not Vishnu. That is my God. Whatever. Use one of your eight arms to steer this goddamn thing away from that car. Sorry. To all student driver instructors. That was me. I don't think. I don't think many other people do what I do. I go out of my way. If I'm almost home and I see student driver, the day's delayed for a minute. I'm gonna follow that thing around for us. I'm gonna try to get to a red light and get close. And then at the red light, I'm gonna try to pass them before we get out of the intersection and then jam on the brakes. And the fun thing to do to student drivers, for all you like me downshift. There's no brake lights. If you just drop down a couple gears, just manually go to, like, you know, third. Your car just goes. And there's no brake lights. Student drivers don't know what hit them. And then you take off.

[Larry McFeely]

Or you can use the E brake, too. You can pull.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've done it. Nothing better than student drivers.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm not going to confirm or deny.

[John Holmberg]

But additional training people who think that, yeah, that's. It's. I'm a training tool. That should be a shirt I wear. I'm a training tool.

[Larry McFeely]

And the worst part is a guy in the car training. This guy's going. He's a listener. To go.

[John Holmberg]

God damn, Holmberg.

[Larry McFeely]

Here we go again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm just going to warn you, stay out of the Biltmore area if you're a student. They're everywhere over there for some reason. I think it's because they think we're going to be nice. I'm there.

[Brady]

The streets are safe.

[John Holmberg]

They're not. Watch out, I'm right there. If I see a student driver car, I the excitement level, it goes flying and I will just, I'll stop everything I'm doing. If I'm late for something and I see a student driver, I'll call and say, I'm gonna be a little later than you thought. I will drive them. I will.

[Brady]

30 minute session.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's nothing better than pick. Here's the fun thing to do, especially if you're on a street that's not super crowded, but there's a student driver. Here's. I love to just hold my phone in front of my face while I'm steering. I'm not really doing anything, but it looks like I'm texting and I just laugh hysterically and. But I drift into their lane like, no, I never reacted to their job.

[Brady]

This is why you don't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's great. And if they hit me, so be it. It's more fun. It's a blast. I'm hoping someday student driver instructors will be like, just hit him. Just hit him.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, you call for no meds, so that may happen.

[John Holmberg]

I'm fine with that. No meds and screw with student drivers. Make the world fun again. Mtwfa. I don't know if that's a thing we can License plate mafa. Make America fun again. Mafa.

[Larry McFeely]

So when you tell Megan you're gonna be home in 10 minutes and it's like an hour and a half later, she knows it's student driver day or.

[John Holmberg]

I never say I'm going to be home at a certain time. In case of student drivers. I never, I never lock in. I'm just. I'll give you a roundabout about 35 minutes. I should be home between 12 and one and that gives me a chance to hunt. I got a lunch today. I have to go. This guy Jeff and I have a lunch today. So I know I'm going to leave here. I'm gonna meet him about 12, 31 o'. Clock. But I'm gonna leave here about 45 minutes early because he's in student driver hive. And I know because having been in that area that somewhere over there is a school where they have cars that say student driver all over them. And I'm gonna get over there because they tend to drive around at lunch. And I love it. Oh, there's nothing better than it says student driver. And the person inside is elderly. And it's one of those widows whose husband drove him everywhere, but he's dead now, so I have to get my license. And all their family's like, oh, she's 78. She's getting her license. We're so proud of her. Ain't run into me yet, sister. Out of the way, Gwendolyn.

[Brady]

I would think the high time would be like 3pm to 5pm yeah, they.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T in my area after school, they hang around from 12 till about 2:30. I think they keep them on a rush hour. I think they do it during school. I think you get an hour during the day on Saturdays. Sometimes Saturdays they're the least they can. There's too much room. I like putting them in high stress situations. I should have that on my car. High stress student driver distractor and just, oh, geez. Okay, here we go. It's like a video game. We're like, okay, you got to watch out for those. That guy right there is one of them. And I'm designed to drive around and be the idiot that makes you have to learn how to drive better.

[Brady]

Enhance student drive.

[John Holmberg]

I make it better.

[Larry McFeely]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. I make you a better driver.

[Larry McFeely]

Valley of favorite.

[John Holmberg]

Now, if I didn't have a dad, somebody put me on meds. And then the day I'm off my meds, that whole thing would come charging back, you know, having been dormant for, you know, let's say three months. And it would be stronger than ever. And I'd probably run over a student driver. Anyway, it's throw your meds away January, I think. How's it working? I mean, where's the research that says it's working? We're never going to hear that. You're never going to hear that, that it's working because it's pharmaceuticals and they're making trillions of dollars off of putting us on pills. Where's the evidence that this whole pill up the nation thing has worked? They always say kids are more depressed than they've ever been. Now they say that they harm themselves more than ever. Suicide rates are higher than they've ever been. They don't have sex anymore. They don't have fun anymore. They don't drink anymore. Where's the evidence? Says it's working.

[Brady]

My nephew thinks it works.

[John Holmberg]

He's probably on at that point, yeah.

[Brady]

He was on him, and then he.

[John Holmberg]

Stopped because he was hyper.

[Brady]

He's like, I got it back on him.

[John Holmberg]

Who, Charlie?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Charlie loved Adderall. We had this talk. Charlie doesn't want to be on meds for his behavior. Charlie loved Adderall. You know who introduced me to Adderall? Your nephew Charlie. He loved it, and he didn't give it to me going, hey, these really enhance my life and keep me from being bananas. He's like, you got to try this stuff. It's legal cocaine. His words.

[Brady]

I'm ultra focused.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because it's cocaine. It is cocaine. It's meth. It's made of the same stuff. It's just got a better name, and it. You know, in moderation, it's a party, you know, that's. Charlie's the one who told me about it.

[Brady]

You know, I. When I stopped, I gained weight.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

So I went back on.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a mental disorder?

[Brady]

Well, now he's still on it, but the.

[John Holmberg]

And he's fat.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I gained.

[Brady]

Also getting married. And his. He's having. His fiance is having a baby.

[John Holmberg]

He's having the baby. Is that why he's fat?

[Brady]

His fiance?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he got fat, too, for her. That's cute. Adderall didn't. If you take Adderall because you put weight on when you're not on it, that has nothing to do with your mental status and why you're on Adderall. That's ego. That's ego to hit a treadmill.

[Brady]

Talk about the psychosomatic part of it, too.

[John Holmberg]

It's lazy. That's what that is. It's lazy. It's like, I don't feel like running Adderall Makes it so I don't gain weight. It's lazy because you don't have an appetite. It's meth. It is. Look it up. The same stuff's in it. You're like, oh, Jesus. So, yeah, Charlie, I need my Adderall or I'll go crazy.

[Brady]

Should just go with the bionicle.

[John Holmberg]

It's fun, silly. Okay, I'll make that rule. Throw everything but your Adderall out today, because that stuff is brutal. Pretty awesome.

[Larry McFeely]

Or bring it down here. We'll dispose of it for you.

[John Holmberg]

We'll get rid of it.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, no problem.

[John Holmberg]

Pain pill people. You too. We got people downstairs used to grind it up. Yeah, he loved Adderall. Did he ever say it was for his. He got prescribed a little heavy. Well, and. Because he liked it. Because it does make you go Woof. Life's better this way. And then when you're off of it, then all those things are like, hey, where? All the things you've ignored on Adderall for the last year, and there's a lot of us, they're like, oh, no, now I need it. Or I've got to confront this.

[Larry McFeely]

That Adderall would never make it upstairs. Those pill poppers down there, group of.

[John Holmberg]

Ladies who like wine, mix wine and pain pills, which I learned from them.

[Larry McFeely]

Postinos and pills. Look, that's what it is.

[John Holmberg]

The two P's, that group of people downstairs in this building about 18 years ago are the ones that made me realize I'm the only one not doing drugs. I looked at all those moms and beautiful people and it's like, come on. Of course, then you start to realize value. All they do is drink wine and take a little, you know, oxy. Like, is that. Because I always thought, I always believed the advertising. If you take one, you become like a, you know, a clawed demon at night and you start. You run around and commit crimes. No, you have a good night. It's fun. They love it.

[Brady]

Still not there.

[Brett Vesley]

What you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you don't have to. You don't have to do it, right, but you have to abandon the idea that you were right, that it creates some sort of reefer madness monster. It doesn't. All the people downstairs that you like, they're all pill poppers, the whole crew.

[Brady]

I still don't blame them.

[Larry McFeely]

You walk around down there. I mean, those cubies and kids.

[John Holmberg]

And every one of them's got kids.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. On a Friday. It's time to escape. That's what it's for.

[Larry McFeely]

Monday through Friday with them.

[Brady]

True.

[John Holmberg]

I do it every day. That's why Postina's is so busy at 5 o'. Clock.

[Brady]

You got the supply?

[John Holmberg]

Nothing better.

[Brady]

I thought those were Smarties downstairs in the. In the bowl. No, no.

[John Holmberg]

California sunshine. No, those aren't Skittles, Brady. Don't you. I got a handful of those. It's a beautiful thing. Anyway, I just want evidence that says. Oh, yeah, since we pilled everybody up, it's, like, been great. I see it as a little different, I think, since we pulled everybody up. Depression rates are higher than ever and kids shoot at each other more. So, yeah, argue with me all day. I kind of believe maybe pharmaceutical companies are behind this. But they call me crazy. I'm the crazy one. I'm a Looney Tune.

[Brady]

It is big money.

[John Holmberg]

It's huge. And it's bigger than it's ever been. So, you know, if you've ever thought to yourself, well, this is for my kids benefit, maybe you're just masking problems he can get over without them. I don't know.

[Brady]

Less parenting.

[John Holmberg]

A little bit, yeah. It's a little less for you to do. And if you don't have a dad in the house, it makes sense. The dad becomes that little pill bottle that starts whacking him in the head. So my dad was. My dad was that dude that stood there and looked at me like, what the hell's wrong with you today? Like, huh?

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Christy and I were broken. Don't be a. Be a man.

[Brady]

Huh? Here's your slap a roll.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, slap her. All worked. And it wasn't hard. I was like, knock it off. Like, yeah, I don't want that anymore. So I choked down my tears like a decent kid every time my dad was around to show him I wasn't. I wasn't a, you know, weakling. And it started working for me.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, what's your problem?

[John Holmberg]

It's what Norm used to say. Norm MacDonald used to always. There's a therapist. They're the worst people in the world. You know, they get you to talk about those feelings you've been trying to hide and run from your entire life. It works. They try to make you remember bad things. I've done a good job of pushing those down.

[Brady]

It was effective because you remember that one time of when your dad did that balloon thing? It probably didn't happen too often.

[John Holmberg]

I was aware of it if he was around.

[Brady]

Do that again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you know what I used to do? Kids do this too. My dad wasn't around. I'd play it up there. Mom would take me out for ice cream or something if I was.

[Brady]

They had milk at the other.

[Brett Vesley]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. I missed school for a black eye. My dad came home from work to take me to school. No. No black eye. Oh, okay.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We had a black at school once. And I wouldn't go, no, I got a black eye. A black. A black ocular regional injury. And I stayed home from school because I convinced my mom things were terrible. And I went and I called. I went to the school nurse because it was hard to see. Of course it was hard to see. I had a big puffy eye. And the school nurse flipped out and called my dad at work and he came to pick me up. He's like, what the hell?

[Brady]

Black guy did what?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you said black guy did what's when he punched him in the face. I never was for this whole integration thing anyway. No, no, sir. He has a baseball, a black eye. Oh, yeah, he's fine. Put him back in class. And that's essentially what he did. I went home, my mom drove me home. My dad gets a call. He comes home thinking that my eye popped out. Is he okay? Yeah, he's fine, dad. Just. He's very.

[Brady]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It hurts. Of course it hurts. It's a bruise. You're getting up and going to school now.

[Larry McFeely]

Your dad was beautiful. Tea Justin.

[Brett Vesley]

He was.

[Larry McFeely]

I knew this would happen when they.

[Brady]

Started that bus and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

What's this world coming to, Junior? I gotta call it works as a black guy. Took out my son's eyeballs. No, no, no. He's got his black eye from baseball. That's right. The baseball is hard. His face is soft. He learned a lesson. Don't let the ball hit your face. In fact, that's a life lesson. My dad was big on Never let the balls hit you in the face.

[Brady]

Put that Hush puppy down. You're going to school.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's basically what it was. I got in my pajamas. I was in bed. It was like 11 in the morning. And the fact that he had to leave work to go see that. I had a bruise. Are you kidding me?

[Brady]

You just finished up prices, right?

[John Holmberg]

Get up. I had a tea. I remember a big thing. My mom made me a tea. Like I needed that oh, my God, mom stuff. Mom, she was doing her job. My dad came home and did his.

[Brady]

Joker's Wild on deck.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Joker's Wild was coming up. Card Sharks was probably on waiting a little bit for Tattletales, even though I really wasn't up for that one. I watched it anyway. It's no pills. It's no pills. Thursday. Let's try to start that today. No more. Everybody's flipping out about that. No more pills. And if you're on them right now. You know, I don't remember ever going to concerts in the 70s and 80s where Van Halen was like, we know you're all sad, but Shinedown does it.

[Larry McFeely]

Every Shine down concert.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, every rock concert is like, we know you're all upset, like, emotional, like, what? We're here to get laid, remember? Oh, we're not here to get lady. We're here reminded that we were suicidal one day.

[Brady]

That's what most of the ballads were about. Maybe someone's about, you know, heartache, but wreck your life.

[John Holmberg]

Van Halen, David Lee Ross said, all right. Man, I know you're all sad. Like, he's never once brought up sadness ever.

[Brady]

What did Ted Nugent say? If you want to get mellow or.

[John Holmberg]

Sad, eat a deer.

[Brady]

Get the F out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, don't be. Yeah. This isn't a place for sadness.

[Larry McFeely]

Damn right.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen Junior's grades? I know it's tough to get good grades. David Lee Roth never cared about my well being. It wasn't his job. I never went to go see Faster Pussycat and had Tammy down going, is everyone feeling up tonight? Are we? No, that's your job. That's why I'm here. I know you're sad and there's a lot of suicide. And then he sang a song about his dad never came home. House of Pain related to it. Everybody in the audience that was a little bit off and like, yeah, I guess you get through it. Put your pills down to write a goddamn song or a poem or something and get out of it. This whole pill thing ain't working. Seeing Rob Reinert's lawyer say he didn't do anything. It was his pills. The pills what killed him. No, they're going to try to get the doctor thrown in jail. Good Christ. What did he do wrong?

[Brady]

He's practicing medicine.

[John Holmberg]

He's practicing. It's like, I don't know. This guy's bananas. Let's try something cold.

[Larry McFeely]

You think we're going to have a murderer downstairs? I mean, all them pill poppers down there, I mean.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think they're.

[Larry McFeely]

What do we call them?

[John Holmberg]

They're regulated.

[Brady]

They're not prescribed.

[John Holmberg]

No, this is. Yeah, if they're prescribed, you got a them. If not, they're just. They're self medicating and it works.

[Larry McFeely]

Who's the fanduel odds on down there?

[John Holmberg]

I want the ladies downstairs that. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, Ed.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you're talking about the ladies.

[Brady]

I was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Ed. You called that a lady? I got Jill on my. She's got that crazy Russian boy, but it's been years. I know she's held off, but eventually she's gonna snap. She's putting that Buick right through the front glass.

[Brady]

It is. It is the high times right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This is enough. One more time that kid rolls home and asks for money. That Buick's coming blazing into one of these blasts. It's gonna try to. She'll probably hit Ed with it just like. That's enough. Anyway, let's get a wake up song, shall we? 5, 8, 5, 9800 a good one. Well, you're not on pills today. Just trying to power through. I'm doing it without pills and I'm insane.

[Brady]

It works.

[John Holmberg]

It's 98 KUPD.

[Brett Vesley]

Wake up.

[Brady]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, my Bears have been a heck of a lot better than I thought they're going to be this year. And what's going to even make it better is playing on the underdog apple. Watching them, it's Brett Vesley from Holberg's Morning Sickness. And playing underdog is so easy. I just pick if my favorite players will go higher or lower than their projected stats. And with my Bears, Caleb Williams and Loveland have been great. So I'm going to go higher on both their stats. You can play the playoffs in underdog too. Download the app today and use a promo code HMS to score 75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code HMS Underdog Make Picks Win Money must be 18 + 19 + in Alabama, Nebraska, 19 + in Colorado for some games, 21 + in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdog fantasy.comweb/play and getterms_dfs_.HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call 24. 7, Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY 46736.

[Brett Vesley]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.

[Brett Vesley]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

It is Thomas James Band. Thank you quite kindly for that introduction here on a Thursday morning. Talking about tonight, we're off the air talking about Miami and Ole Miss over there at the stadium as the Fiesta Bowl. I don't even know why they still call it that. So the playoff is here and interesting. Interesting game for sure. Sorry to everybody who flew into town today to experience the glory, the beautiful. You know, I mean Mississippi and Florida, they don't really have to leave for better weather. Mississippi has to leave because they're in Mississippi. But if you've ever. Evidently I've not been. But I've heard from people that Ole Miss is one of the most unbelievable campuses for both. It's a plantation like Gorgeous. Oh, look. Plantations are pretty now. Back in the day, I wouldn't want to been on. But you look at them now and they're like incredible.

[Brady]

But sit in your suite there at the stadium sipping a mint julep.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard the. I've heard the student body is ridiculous in Ole Miss. I had a friend who went there who wouldn't shut up about it. He's like, it's just. It's just model after model. Well, there you go. You got that. So they flew out here and then Miami. They don't have to worry about weather, so they're not too upset about the rain. It's when teams like Indiana or if we had Indiana here, all those people from Indiana's meth heads would have flown out here and been so sad that they didn't get the 70 degree January weather. They got the. The two or three days it rains here. That stinks. But good game tonight.

[Brady]

Maybe Dale's bringing Michael Irvin in, man.

[John Holmberg]

May. That could be.

[Brady]

I'll.

[John Holmberg]

We'll talk to Dale today. And if Michael's in town, I think Michael will be here.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you're talking about a dude we need on meds. Oh, if Ray Ray's here, just stay inside. There's going to be a. A lot of raping and a murdering. No, Miami will win tonight. We're going to beast mode. And they just stand on the sidelines allowed to do whatever they want. And so if they're in town, SAP would come back because Warren doesn't like it here. Yeah, Warren had to do bad luck here. Yeah, Warren was chucking hookers down a hallway like it was a fraternity. Doing midget tossing, doing the swim move. Right downtown. Well, yeah. The wanted more money. Like, come on, I paid you.

[Larry McFeely]

Wasn't that the Palomar?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it was. It was downtown. Might have been.

[Unidentified Guest]

I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it was. I think it was in a different spot. But it was a downtown hotel. He got a couple of hireable ladies, and I love that he said it when the cops. I paid them already and they won't leave. So he. He literally threw them down the hallway. Allegedly. Literally threw them down.

[Larry McFeely]

Did he have the paperwork?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. I was on Warren's side. I would look when Warren Sapp tells me to leave, even if I'm with him and I'm like, this was going well. I don't care if I'm a prostitute or a best friend. If Warren says, everybody out, I'm walking out. I'm Not. I'm not bowing up to that. He's had a couple of pops in his system because they're partying. It's the Super Bowl. I'm not bowing up.

[Brady]

Stopped his meds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, no, he had some delicious treats. Don't ruin my day, Brady. Meds don't work. But Warren was like, all right. Even if he's on meds, off meds, or otherwise, if Warren. Sepp goes. All right, everybody out. Lee, I'm listening. I'm listening. And you know what? I bet you ran through their heads before the fire hydrant in the hallway did. I should have probably left. I bet you both of those hookers probably thought to themselves, yeah, he warned us. This is on us. And then they got all uppity when they're rolling down there, getting rug burns on their knees for wrong reasons.

[Brady]

Like, you wouldn't hit a guy in glasses, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you would. Why wouldn't you? Well, then take them off. Now you can't see. What are you, an idiot? Keep your glasses on. No. You chuck a hooker down a hallway without warning, I'm still on the side of the guy, you know, who's making that Throw more. And Sapp says, leave, you leave. Period. And just, I'm on Warren's side. Hooker turns to Warren, this ain't enough. That's what you get. Now leave. Like you could have had. If a little sugar would have gotten you, maybe it's, oh, you could have waited in the hallway a little bit. Warren said. And here's how I know Warren was right. He threw those hookers down the hallway, got pressed for it. And that one pimp went up and tried to kill Warren. Like, what'd you do to Warren, SAP? Like, they probably got yelled at.

[Brady]

They got suspended.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. They had to sit out a couple of nights. You go home and tighten that thing up, you ain't gonna play for a couple days. Him in the blue tent. So, Warren, if you're here, just know that someone in the media is on your side. When you were chucking those hookers around, I. My first thought was, what did those bitches say? I didn't think Warren was a bad guy at all. You're allowed to throw a hooker who's there. You pay them to leave. That's the point of a hooker. You don't pay for sex. You pay for them to go away after. And when they won't leave, it's like we had an agreement. I had sex with you. I paid you. Now you're supposed to go. We ain't going nowhere because they just saw Rolexes and Warren stuff and, like, we're gonna stick around, try to get another payment.

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[John Holmberg]

And he picked him up and he chucked him. I. I am smarter than that. Warren's first off. Warren Sapp says, I'll pay to have sex. Like, Jesus Christ. You're taking chances with that. It's 390 pounds of pure rage on a football field. I don't think there's going to be a lot of tender oral sex that night. I'm pretty sure you're going to get tossed around anyway. Then when he says, that's enough, it's the end of the game, and shake hands at the center, maybe do a circle where we all pray, and then we leave. It's just like the end of a football game. But tonight, Ole Miss, Miami Brady. You like Ole Miss because you don't want Miami to win.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because you hate that they're partial because they stomped you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's no fun. You don't want that.

[Brady]

But then on the other side, I.

[John Holmberg]

Was like, well, then you lost to the world champs. That's better. I always think of that, unless it's the Ravens, that if you lose to a team and they move on and win it all, you lost to the best one. Patriots used to hurt me with that, too. I used to. I rooted against them. I didn't care for the. Somebody had to knock him off. But I think Miami wins tonight. Like, Ole Miss is going to eventually collapse. All their coaches quit eventually. That's going to bite them, right? It has to. If it doesn't, then it's a part that was.

[Brady]

Must been playing on adrenaline. Like, we got nobody. We got nothing to lose. Let's just go for it.

[John Holmberg]

Their whole staff, like Lane Kiffin just left, and they had the balls to go, well, if you're gonna go next, you're leaving now.

[Brady]

Water guys are calling the place.

[John Holmberg]

They got Charlie Weiss's son out there. That's crazy. So that's a big one tonight. So that'll happen tonight. So if you're heading over in the West Valley and the rain. Oh, the traffic, it's going to be a disaster over there. The other thing that I didn't know was going on and Brett just told me about is that the Book of Mormon is here.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I did not know the Book of Mormon was back in town. And Brett said, you're going tonight?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, we're going tonight.

[John Holmberg]

You have not seen it.

[Larry McFeely]

I've not seen it. Don't know a lot about I mean.

[John Holmberg]

You know, just from what I've. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

What I've heard from you guys.

[John Holmberg]

But that's it. Without question the most complete piece of comedy I've ever watched. It is so funny. Painfully funny. Even if you're Mormon, you can watch and go, okay, well, there is some of this stuff we don't like that is true.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And they. It is researched, it's smart, it's really funny, and it's tongue in cheek to a point where it actually at the end has it. If you're Mormon, if you haven't seen it because you're kind of bitter about it at the end, they make a decent point that basically is, you know, but you're happy. It may be asinine to think these things or believe in this stuff, but. And here's how fast it can turn. Oh, my God, Brett, you're gonna love it. And to you, my friend, I say, and tomorrow you'll understand this. Hasadiga iboway. All right. Brady won't probably say that because what it means, but. Hasadiga iboi. Hasadiga iboi. I challenge you.

[Brett Vesley]

You.

[Brady]

It's a great song.

[John Holmberg]

On your walk from damage tonight to the car when it's over. Not to sing that also. Man up. You'll sing that as well. You'll be doing that for a few days. Oh, you're gonna love it. Oh, Brad, I'm jealous. And the tickets are still you can I. I might just cancel my life tonight and head over there. I don't care what the prices are.

[Brett Vesley]

That is.

[John Holmberg]

And if you. If all you listening out there have not seen the Book of Mormon and you like funny man, you're not going to find it put together. But there is no lull. Every single piece of that thing is funny. Every one of them. It doesn't miss. I've never met a person.

[Brady]

I thought that was pretty amazing though, in the program too, that you'll get. The LDS Church takes out like two or three full page ads.

[John Holmberg]

Sure they do.

[Brady]

Now you've heard this.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, they think they're being. They think they're being clever. And what they're doing is. Is proving the point. If they. If they would just shut up, it would be better off. It's like when all those religious people used to get on rock and they do whole shows dedicated to Donahue.

[Brett Vesley]

Had a whole.

[John Holmberg]

We paid more attention to the rock than we did the church. They're idiots. And if you're at that thing and you watch this and you want to be a Mormon, Afterwards, it doesn't bash them, but it kind of makes you just look at your eyes or look at anybody you're with. Going, okay, this is an eye roller, man. Is it fun money. Oh, I'm jealous. Steve Greenmire said to me, he said, I got tickets months ago. Based on exactly what you're saying now about that show. I'm going Saturday, and I can't wait. You can't. Unless the performers suck, and I can't imagine they're touring a bad crew. You cannot be disappointed by Book of Mormon. You can't. And I. And all you people out there go, yay. Musical's gay.

[Brett Vesley]

Yep.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, that's what I thought, too.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And they're gay. All right. And this one kind of makes fun of that, too. And. All right, but. But, yes, but a twinket around, but. Oh, my God, I'm going. I'm gonna scalp some tickets outside. I.

[Brett Vesley]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

It is.

[Brett Vesley]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Truly.

[Brady]

It's one of those things where after you go, you go with someone that hasn't seen it. It's like going to seeing the drags for the first time. You want to see your buddy's reaction.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I.

[Brett Vesley]

The.

[Brady]

It's a changer.

[John Holmberg]

This guy. This guy's seen it. He goes, did Brady have a spooky Mormon hell dream? After watching. I know what you're talking about. Hilarious.

[Brady]

No, I went woman health dream.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's so good.

[Brady]

With a person that used to be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they were mad.

[John Holmberg]

Not really, like, oh. That they were Mormon ever.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That this is what people think of them.

[Brady]

Really upset them, like.

[John Holmberg]

But also, in fairness, it is not a bash festival.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

At all. It is. It's more of a. If you don't know the details, you can move them. But it's so good. God damn it. The guy that you're going with just emailed me and says this will be my third time seeing. Yeah, I, I, I would say I want to go. You know what? It's here tonight, tomorrow, and through Sunday.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, through Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going four times.

[Larry McFeely]

And there's matinee shows on the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Five times. I'm going five times. Steelers don't play till Monday. I'm going five. If you haven't seen this, get tickets. I swear to God, you cannot be disappointed. It's so funny. And if you're Mormon, come on, give it a run. I watched this is how good I liked it. How much I liked it is that I watched Mormons watch it on a screen. Clips of it and then break down what they thought was real and what wasn't. Like, and they. And they couldn't help but laugh. And then afterwards, like, okay, that's not altogether right, but they're laughing like, it is kind of right. We do believe that. But there's nuance to this net. And, like, all right, you can make excuses for it, but again. Hasadiga Eboi. Oh, Brett. I remember coming in here after I saw it going, the show's canceled. Nothing. Nothing I will ever think of or do will be as complete and funny as what that is. Oh, you're gonna love it. Have fun, Brett. And I'm not hyping it up because it'll live up to it. Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, it's easier.

[John Holmberg]

You won't come back.

[Brett Vesley]

I remember you thinking, and how far.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't think it was this funny. You'll come back and go, holy crap, that's funny.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, that's a high bar you're setting on this thing.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna love this. You're absolutely gonna love this. They go to Africa. You're in heaven tonight. You're in heaven. They go to Africa tonight. You're in heaven. Yep, Heaven. Especially when the tribesman comes out in the Jordan. You're in heaven.

[Brady]

Any two months after I saw it, my neighbor down the street invites me because her son is going to be. They're announcing where he's going on his mission.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that right?

[Brady]

It was to Uganda.

[John Holmberg]

He went to you. Oh, he got the bad one and all. You want, really, if you're a Mormon, is the words Orlando to come out of that guy's mouth. This guy says, I've always been on the fence, John, of seeing Book of Mormon. Have they hired you? They should hire you to do promos because right now I'm considering it. It is that good. I swear to you, I. I stake my reputation as funny on this. It's just. And again, I am a bland cracker of comedy compared to anything that happens on that stage. There is nothing my brain can do that competes with how funny and complete that thing is. And it's mostly just so organized. Complete. It's such a good odds. You're gonna love it. All right, all right. It. I've said this before. It made me angry. I left a little bit upset because it was so good. I'm like, well, there goes what funny is now. That's the new bar for my having.

[Brady]

A little background growing up in this area.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But, I mean, that literally was where I thought funny Lived was like, nope, it lives here now. It's. It's in a different area. It's like it just moved up past all the things I used to think were really the highest you could get.

[Brady]

That.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's. And I'm not overdoing it. I can sell this as high as I. You'll still lose your mind at Hasadilla iboi. You. Will. You just.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's. It's gonna punch in the nuts. Oh, I'm going. I'm with Brett. Does Matthiah have to go? Can I go with you? Did you buy the tickets or did she?

[Larry McFeely]

Well, I will be, but.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

Batman picked him up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, kid. Oh, that's nice.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, he picked him up for us because he was online the day they went on sale.

[John Holmberg]

Batman, I'll give you three times as much as what Brett's will pay you three times to give me those tickets. It's so good. Yeah, go see that? It's worth it. And now it's time for the show to talk about. Oh, here, look at this. All these reviews. Book of Mormon is the most phenomenal thing I've ever seen. I bet it's better with Brett.

[Larry McFeely]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, yes. Sitting next to you when they go to Africa is going to be amazing.

[Brady]

They're going to use that laugh track if you want to hear.

[John Holmberg]

And here's the other thing. If you're at Book of Mormon tonight and you're like, about 30 minutes in, you're like, this would be better if that would. Shut up. That's Brett's wife. She laughs really loud. That's true.

[Larry McFeely]

You'll find us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You'll know where they are. By the cackling insanity of Matthia. She's got a great laugh, but it's so loud, she's a couple rows behind. So I can't hear any of the hasidiga Eboy because it won't shut up. You two are gonna be crying, and then you're gonna look, and her laugh's gonna make you laugh harder, and then you're gonna hear the next thing and. Oh, Brett, I'm jealous. Yeah. This guy said I wanted to go, but I looked. The rafter seats are 400 bucks. Sell plasma. It's worth it. It's expensive because it's great. Winston, just text me. Turn it off. It's a, like, light switch. Just go. Click. It's a nifty little Mormon trick. You're gonna love this thing. Damn it. Sister's taking me for my birthday present tomorrow. Night. Second time I'm seeing it.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, okay.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

It's every. It's so good. God damn it. I gotta adjust my whole week. Maybe not going to the. Maybe not going to the Sun's game Friday because I got to go to a musical. Yep. This one says I'm going tomorrow with four ex Mormons and I can't wait. Tickets are outrageous. But if you have a contact at Gammage or I have a contact at Gamma, if you're interested. She's talking directly to me, not you guys. Guys or you, Brady, who just acted like that was for you. This is email, Br. Check your own email. You're not coattailing my gimmes. Yeah, it's good stuff. This one says, I saw it years ago, I didn't know it was here. I absolutely need to see it again. It's so good. It's so good. But let's talk about something else. That's pretty great. I think we found the bravest man in the world. I'm almost positive we have found him.

[Larry McFeely]

Lizzo's boyfriend.

[John Holmberg]

Lizzo's boyfriend is. You know what? Up till this point you thought maybe that was the one, but it turns out there's a braver person out there. Oh, there's a man in Pakistan who decided he was going to try to open Abbottabad's first gay bar. Now, he didn't just open a facility and how you doing, everybody? If you want to be good, go ahead. He filed paperwork with the city to say, here's my intentions. You know, Pakistan. I don't know if you've been reading about that for a while. Frown on that stuff a little bit. So I hear, A, they don't like alcohol. B, they don't like sex. B, they really don't like man on man or girl on girl sex. And this dude said, he said, I'm gonna start a gay club. It's the most neglected community in the area. Then you realize, you know, the guy, he put up signs, he said, don't worry about it, there's not going to be sex. I'm going to put up signs that say, hey, if you guys want to take it further than kissing, take it outside. Like he was going to monitor. There's no sex in it.

[Larry McFeely]

Take it out back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So to speak. Yes. But he was basically like, you guys can smooch and stuff, but that's it. I'm surprised because the Pakistani government grabbed this dude and threw him in a loony in. It was going to be called the Lorenzo Gay Club. And Abadabot. How much do you like a man's anus to be Pakistani and go, I'm going in there. Something, something.

[Brett Vesley]

Check out homework's morning sickness podcast at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Like, that's. You are. These are the brass balls of all brass balls in the world. Nobody's been braver than this. And also, I think if I was in Pakistan, I could. I could fight the gay feeling because it's just not worth it.

[Larry McFeely]

You don't want anal curry.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, hey, well, first off, the food and the smells have to be, you know, when dogs get fish butt. I can imagine that. That would be gay. Peg. They don't have. Have, like, anybody saying, you need to wash this or whatever.

[Brady]

Oh, that was the goat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That was, like, early. Yeah, early days of gay in, you know, medieval times. I'm sure there wasn't a whole lot of hygiene. And I'm pretty sure Pakistan lives in the 7th century. Anyway, so that's it. He started to want to open this gay club, and I'm surprised that the Pakistani government. Government didn't go, yep, go ahead. And then just blow it up. That's what they're good at, right? That's what they had.

[Brady]

It's just like a giant sting operation.

[John Holmberg]

It's like, oh, good, most of the game, but go ahead, have a great time.

[Brady]

We'll help you build a stadium.

[John Holmberg]

They build just as many as you can pack in. They're given, like, subsidies and, like, alcohol and rubbers and all of that. And then everyone. The new gay bar is really except. And then they blow it up. That's what those people do. Bigotry. True. Why wouldn't the Pakistanis say, hey, this is a great way to get rid of that problem? Problem? The really super Needy Gays of Pakistan. Kind of a good band name.

[Brady]

They'd show up.

[John Holmberg]

But how powerful is being gay?

[Brady]

They're saying, oh, he's medicated. He's crazy.

[Brett Vesley]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're. They don't medicate anyway. They don't have that. We do that. They don't have.

[Brady]

He's just crazy.

[John Holmberg]

They said he's nuts, and they put him in a mental health institution. And he's like, he can face up to two years. They don't enforce the laws very much, but they do have them. And they have a morality police that wanders the streets. And if you're. And Internet stuff, they do that. This guy says, was it called Fudge Pakistani? That's pretty funny. But no, it's not. That's a good gig. But why didn't they just allow it and then explode it? Like, that's their way. But he did the paperwork instead of, like, he's out now, open. He said, I just. I want to stand up for communities that can't stand up for themselves. I just can't imagine. He's brave, but the braver man than him is the first patron of Lorenzo's Gay club in Abbottabad. Because the second you are, you open like, this dude is that. You are officially, congratulations. The gayest man in Pakistan. He's like, I heard there was a gay bar who. First in line, like, you're the gayest guy here.

[Brett Vesley]

You are.

[Brady]

And he makes that statement in front of his friends.

[John Holmberg]

You're. You're with me, right?

[Brady]

I don't know him.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Let me smell your weenie. Yes, he knows. Listen, this is the craziest thing I've ever read in my life. But, yeah, to be a guy who goes into the bar makes you braver than the guy who opens it, because that's how important gay sex is. That's how I tell you. It's not a choice. That's the best way to describe to people that being gay isn't a choice. Because in Pakistan, if it's a choice, the choice is easy. I don't diddle with Brett's butt. I don't get blown up. Well, that's choice. That choice was made for me, and I'm fine with it. But if I cannot stop thinking about Brett's butthole, and I got to have that, and I'm willing to fight over Pakistani and Muslim law.

[Brady]

You're not gonna open a club to get Brett.

[Larry McFeely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No. But I'm not gonna be gay.

[Brady]

You're gonna club Brett.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gonna be gay. But if it's such a. Well, yeah, but if you and I were.

[Brett Vesley]

And we were.

[John Holmberg]

It was such a powerful feeling that even in Pakistan, I'm like, man, what you're risking just to. I could pretend to be straight. Look, if the laws here changed all of a sudden, where heterosexuality meant that you got your head cut off.

[Brady]

Forbidden.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, completely.

[Brady]

I'd.

[John Holmberg]

You know. All right, well, where do I put this, then?

[Brett Vesley]

And I'd.

[John Holmberg]

Brett and I would find Ms. Stubbings, and I would finally be like, I guess we're just gonna do this. We'd be in a sexless marriage of nonsense and whatever. And having a Bronco. Yeah, yeah. We'd be chewing around in that Bronco that Mark looks so gay in and just, you know, we would do that. I'm not going to be so adamant to sit back and go, gotta have that girl. Got it. If it meant, you know, getting tortured and stuff like that, I'd slip on over to the dark side just to not. It's easy. Especially if it started when I was a little kid. That's how strong being gay is not a choice. Those dudes are willing to open a gay bar in a badabot. That's brave. We can call them twinks all we want. Those dudes are who I want on the front lines of all fights. What happened to you, Hala haka? Well, I went to the gay club. Say no more. I know what happened to you. That's terrible. There's a gay club. That's ridiculous. That's like a strip club. If women are like, we really want to strip. How bad do you want to strip in Pakistan that you would actually do it? It's crazy. All right. You're on about the smell. They're used to it. We're not. You, of course, would go over there and notice the smell. Oh yeah, they don't. That's just their day here.

[Brady]

It's the other way around.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, your nose throat doctor for that.

[John Holmberg]

They smell it. They smell like products. Not natural stink. Like buttholes. Like we like. Yeah, it's all you'd hear in that place.

[Brady]

Hey.

[John Holmberg]

We'Ll go to work. Work it, girl. You know you have all that going on inside there, there.

[Larry McFeely]

And the share translate over there too.

[John Holmberg]

Do you want to go make out?

[Brett Vesley]

Yes, I do.

[Brady]

Bing through the beer.

[John Holmberg]

You smell like. So do you. I know we cannot have relations inside of Geka, but let's say we go back to my cave and you know, hard. I want to get your scent all over my body. Smell like gold. Over shares horror music. Yeah. I can't imagine Pakistani gay club being something that. Even if I was the. Even if I was like the king of kdkb, I would still not even. I wouldn't even walk past. I'd walk past and go, what a bunch of in there, huh? I would never reveal myself in Pakistan as gay. It's a trap. They open a gay club in Pakistan. No way. This is bigger than when Mormons decided that Pepsi was okay. This is huge. It's a trap.

[Brady]

That's when he walked in to say I'm to fill out a paperwork for. What do you want? I own my business right over here.

[John Holmberg]

I want to open a club in the bat. I can't Hear you over horror game homosexual music. What are you saying? What happens at your club? We drink crab juice and have kisses with boys. It is something intoxicating about the smell of. Unbelievable. So to the bravest men in the world. Sorry. Navy Seals and Rangers. Not anymore. Those Pakistani homosexuals that are willing to be out loud about it.

[Brady]

Broke pack Mountain. Broke pack.

[John Holmberg]

If you're out in Pakistan, you're.

[Brett Vesley]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

You're Superman. You are the bravest man on the planet.

[Larry McFeely]

I can't quit you.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how to quit you. They just sit and watch Brokeback Mountain all night with that in the background. It is such a great love story between. Oh God. I bet that guy smells like. Who do you like more? Jake or Heath?

[Brady]

Posters of them up all over the club.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like Twilight posters. Broke back Mountain. I was never one of the wolf guys. I like the vampire. I think you are my soulmate. Your smell of stronger than everyone here. Then they get a little too hard and their dresses go up and they have to go take it outside.

[Larry McFeely]

They got to go clean up in.

[John Holmberg]

That river of filth.

[Larry McFeely]

Same thing. It's over.

[John Holmberg]

They don't have rivers are just as bad. They don't have rivers. They don't have had rivers.

[Larry McFeely]

Just as bad.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty sure they don't have water.

[Brady]

That water flows much better.

[John Holmberg]

They don't have water in Pakistan. That's all the same. It's over there. They don't have it yet.

[Brady]

It's only wells.

[John Holmberg]

They don't have it yet. No. Have you seen pictures of that place? It's. It's water. There's no water in Pakistan. Nobody even goes. I'm going fishing. You've never heard of that? I mean fishing in the Pakistan. They don't have water.

[Brett Vesley]

They.

[John Holmberg]

They don't get to India's cleaner than them. You think they got rivers? Find me the prettiest lake in Pak Abbottabad. That place is dry. They got the mountain up there and it snows. But I think it all flows to India which is why they're mad to it. Chimere Pass. I don't remember any of those guys coming back from Afghanistan. Paxton.

[Brady]

There's some dripping. That happens.

[John Holmberg]

Talking about the beautiful lakes. There's water. Water. But like if you see a drop you just suck it out of the sand and you move on. Rivers play a key.

[Larry McFeely]

Here we go. I found it.

[John Holmberg]

Of course they have a river. Pakistan.

[Larry McFeely]

Look at that.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Here are some highlighting the importance of rivers. And that actually looks nice. I like the music in the back too. They got to irrigate their goat farms. Yeah, the goats have to drink. All right. Maybe they bathe in a river or two. I don't know, though.

[Larry McFeely]

See, especially.

[John Holmberg]

Especially after visiting Lorenzo's. To get all of the. Out of my bottom. That's gross. That's not a Pakistani dam. What's this? It's in the top there. Yeah, but you're on the top of the mountain there. There's nobody. Look, there's one impact stand. The rest are in the mountains. You can't get to them. They're. They're thirsty. Over there.

[Brady]

I want to see a lakefront bargain hunt.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, look. See, that's where they're bathing.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. That's what I picture. See two trees during the rain season. It's just mud.

[Brady]

Look at that crib.

[John Holmberg]

That looked pretty nice, actually. That was.

[Larry McFeely]

That's the Roosevelt district of.

[John Holmberg]

We'll go up to Abadabak because all the pictures of. Of.

[Brady]

Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that.

[Brett Vesley]

Nightmare.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yeah. Talk about a chocolate river.

[Brady]

Well.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brett Vesley]

Did you say chocolate river?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, baby, look. Just saying. There they are.

[Larry McFeely]

They're all bathing in it right there.

[Brady]

Ready over there.

[John Holmberg]

You got me there, there. Either way, it's a dump. And being gay there is being brave. They have an anti sodomy rule in Pakistan. I think some parts of the US of A. Have that too. Starting at my house. Anyway, he got. Before he got sent to the mental hospital in Pesawar. A man told the news publication there, so I'm talking about human rights, and I want everybody's human rights to be defended. And I'm like, that is. It's sort of beautiful and all.

[Brett Vesley]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

But you're crazy, man.

[Brett Vesley]

That ain't.

[John Holmberg]

That is not a clean river. Yeah, well, we know Pakistan's a dunk, and we've already established that all the gays asses smell like. We know that. But that's how powerful the human mind is.

[Brady]

They're all medicated. That river's not that powerful. Filled with pharmaceuticals.

[John Holmberg]

The desire to bury your face in another man's ass crack is stronger than death by Allah. That's telling you something right there. I think they're going through a time there that, like the Bible people went through a couple thousand years ago when Sodom and Gomorrah happened under the threat of, like, killing everybody. God will turn you into stone if you start dicking around like that. And a couple of guys are like, hey, I did exactly what I'm not supposed to and nothing happened. And then they started to party and realized we can do whatever we want.

[Brady]

Color of salt.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing's gonna. You're not gonna be salt or anything else. And then they're like, ah, I gotta write a new book and send that sun down. Ah, they're not paying attention anymore, so they're gonna have to change the book.

[Larry McFeely]

We'll get rid of the horse.

[John Holmberg]

Share. Hey, it's almost 8:30 at night. Who likes the smell of.

[Brady]

It's their Sunday brunch.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it smells like crab. I wore my wife's burka. I mean, drag today, ladies. All right, the drag show starts in a minute. Oh, here is Carl. That's right. His name is Carl. Why? Why not? He's very western.

[Brady]

Those are exotic names.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. He's in a blue kuberka and his beekeeper hat is a little smaller. You can almost see his ankles. Try to keep your dicks in, everyone. I don't know why I have turned into trampy insult comic, but have you seen Ted? We love the smell of things. Hey, look at this guy's wiener for me to poop on. Okay, Gay bar in Pakistan. Come on. These tip our caps to those guys. That's some brave stuff. I'm impressed. I am impressed. So good luck to it. But I have a feeling that if the Pakistani leaders allowed that gay bar, I had to put my fanduel bet on that thing lasting one weekend.

[Brady]

Grand opening.

[Brett Vesley]

There will be fireworks.

[John Holmberg]

We did not plan fireworks for the grand opening.

[Brady]

It's on us.

[John Holmberg]

There will be fireworks.

[Brady]

Okay. Free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, It's a tough one. It's a. I don't know how. I don't know how you get through life. I. I could change my mind on. On being gay real fast if you started to tell me that it was a life sentence. I ain't doing that. That's why the brave gays of. Of America back in the day too. Those brave gays of America that were like, they risked it all. Like you've been one of those, you know, A town of 1300 People in Iowa and you two start boning each other and get caught. There was a good chance you were gonna get knocked around. That ain't right. But now you got an entire religion that will kill you. With the support of the government. I'm laying off the B hole. I'll go without. Why would you go to Pakistan when you can pack a stand here? All right. Very clever, Andrew. Thank you very much. You. You should write for Highlights magazine. Oh, my God. And then. Yeah, I like that. That for some reason that got me. That's made me kind of. He's just sitting in there alone. How come no one will come in under penalty of death?

[Brady]

The disco lights are just flashing.

[John Holmberg]

Just the cops sitting there waiting for one dude to touch the doorknob. Okay, get him. Good job. Crazy.

[Brady]

The whole dance floor is just mines.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know what Pakistani people. I'm getting email. I don't know what they sound like. So let's just go with Triumph the Insult Comic and leave it at that.

[Brady]

Okay?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, everybody, it's time to hit the dance floor. What do you say? Okay, who has not been blown tonight? I'm coming over there to give you all a little Packer keys, huh? And this is for you. I think I'm very good. Let's not draw Muhammad for fun, huh? Okay. It's time to burn the American flag for fun.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry. It's terrible. It's the only place in town you're getting this conversation. I guarantee you, Beth and Chachi, PT radio and the. And the isworld show, and they're ain't doing any of this. And then this Enrique supermodel in my head. Yeah, I know. I can't think of it. Well, tonight, Hasadiga Ibuy will take over.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna be just fine. This one said, hey, John, I heard on the news yesterday at the airport, on the carousel, there was blood everywhere. And it turned out somebody brought deer meat in a cooler, and it looked like a crime scene. I just wondered, is Holmberg's dad in town? He is not, but he would do something like this, and he would definitely.

[Larry McFeely]

He'd have the igloo with the duct tape wrapped around it.

[Brett Vesley]

Yep. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't even.

[John Holmberg]

It wouldn't even be the igloo. He wouldn't take one of his nice coolers.

[Brady]

Styrofoam.

[Larry McFeely]

Styrofoam river ones.

[John Holmberg]

The one that, when you buy it, you're like, this is gonna be a blast in about 20 minutes into the drive. You can't take that. That won't stop. Anyway, Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Larry McFeely]

All right, wake up. Song time. And we got a whole list here.

[John Holmberg]

Pull this up. This guy says, sean says, I'm trying to figure out where your gay Pakistani impression ranks on your list of impressions, John. I think it's right after Ned Foster and right before a dog barfing. Yeah, it's probably not a great one, but now that it's Triumph the Insult Comic Pakistani Homosexual. We got something there we can run with that out on the list.

[Larry McFeely]

We got some stuff for Nick Reiner. Manson's. I don't like the drugs, but they like me. Shinedowns. 45 for the pill poppers. Diary of a Madman for Mozzie. For Nick Reiner Ministry. Just one fix for Nick. Benny Mardones. Because apparently it's R. Kelly's birthday. From what?

[John Holmberg]

Nine Inch Snails?

[Larry McFeely]

Corn Ministry and Megadeth. Holy wars for the gay bar.

[Brady]

R. Kelly's 59.

[John Holmberg]

Is he 50?

[Brett Vesley]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Almost 10 more years. Well, 69 is the one we go all right to. And he's 10 years younger than that, and he likes him 10 years under. I think that's pretty perfect. Yeah, I think that's the key to success right there. We're doing it all right for R. Kelly's 59th birthday. One of the most disturbing hits in American history. Benny Mardonis. He's gonna fly off into the night. A98.

[Brett Vesley]

KUPD.

[John Holmberg]

Also kiss. 12:30. The rhythm of the city.

[Brady]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Brett Vesley]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, the year of pity. All that Adderall talk earlier, and I got a one of our listeners, Kevin, says Adderall is the only prescription I take. And guess what I do? I take half of what they prescribe me so I can share it with co workers. That's it. All Adderall people do that. All Adderall people give it to friends for fun. If you weren't with us earlier, I'm suggesting everybody goes off their. Their Looney Tunes meds today. I see no evidence. This is working. Working. Also, I had a few questions, Brady, when you met Douglas, your aunt's African caretaker.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Did you say Hasidiba? Did you try any of that? You did not.

[Brady]

Almost did. I did not.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I know of Africa. Those are African words.

[Brady]

I know. Does that really mean that, Douglas?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady, don't say that about God. You're gonna have a blast tonight. I think we sold about 80 tickets, by the way. People are emailing our crazy, right?

[Brady]

There might not have been that many available.

[John Holmberg]

Well, for the weekend. Get in there. They'll figure it out. Scalp them. You can probably go to Ticketmaster and buy them, too.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, there's some available. I mean secondary market second.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Secondhand Book of Mormon tickets go to that. I didn't even know it was here. How are we supposed to find out about that stuff? Just listen to the radio more. Probably running ads for it. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends at AllPro Shade. AllProchade.com the sun is making a very beautiful camelback mountain this morning out our little little traffic and weather window. Look at that. That is gorgeous. The top of it's covered with clouds making beautiful shade as the sun kind of creeps in on the base of the mountain and makes it pretty. You can have that going on at your house. Put a little shade in a spot, make that shade make the sunlight not bother you so you can enjoy where the sunlight is when it's not directly in your eyes. And they'll make it look great on your house too. Motorized shades. They've got the blinds, they've got window covers if you've got a backyard patio. I just saw something yesterday that said that the number one thing people are looking for in new homes, outdoor living space. That is. That is now top of the list on people's minds saying I want to be able to have something that I can use a functional space outside. Nothing makes it more functional than making sure you can have a TV or some sort of a sitting area where you're not blinded by the sun or you got glare or anything else. The folks at all Pro Shade will do it for you all. Pro shade.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world. Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Bubble Bath Day and World Typing Day.

[John Holmberg]

Want to hear something horrible?

[Brady]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Always. The other day I had a bath and it was really nice been and I've been working out really a lot lately to try to get into a certain type of shape in the next month. And so I. I did a leg workout that was really bad so I did it about bath and my baths are nice so I took another one a couple days later. Like I might get into the habit of this bath thing and here's why. I'll never do it again. I was so relaxed in the bathtub. No, I didn't poop. Jesus. What's wrong with you? Kind of hillbilly. That's what I do. Yeah, but I did pee and I laid in it. I didn't care. I peed in the bath and I just laid in it. I Didn't care. So I got up and I showered that off. But I was not getting up from that warm, amazing feeling ceiling to go pee, which was literally a foot and a half away. I could have just stood. I'm not standing up. And then I realized about halfway through.

[Larry McFeely]

You should go to Pakistan.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just bathing in my own piss.

[Larry McFeely]

But you fit right in over there.

[John Holmberg]

Felt great. Then I got up, I showered myself like a human being.

[Brady]

Great.

[Unidentified Guest]

How come you didn't stand up and arch it?

[John Holmberg]

Because I had to get up. I was too comfortable to get up. Look, if you could come up with a plan. If you could come up with a. Something where I could, you know, besides a diaper. Where, you know, because it doesn't go away. Where you could get rid of your bodily fluids while you slept, I'd be all in on that contraption. Brady's got that CPAP to keep him alive at night for breathing. I would love to just hook up to something and just. And have that. That vacuum just going the whole time down there. And if I ever peed, just sends it. Like one of those bank things.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Not turds or anything. That's gross. Gotta clean up after. I'm just talking about pee.

[Unidentified Guest]

Well, the attachment would be.

[John Holmberg]

I lay it in my own urine because I was so comfortable. That's how nice baths are. So when he said bubble baths, I'm like, God damn it. And the bubbles keep it from you knowing.

[Brady]

Yeah. Cause it's.

[John Holmberg]

You're in your own filth. Oh, it's so nice. But when you think about a bath, you're just laying in your own dirt. Anyway.

[Larry McFeely]

Listen to RuPaul the entire time.

[John Holmberg]

You know what, Brad? If you have that on. God damn. Yeah. It'll be in the back rooms of the Pakistani gay bar.

[Brady]

A couple of basis fun facts, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

We are having a drag party tonight. And not like the old fashioned Pakistani drag parties which were behind Toyota Tacomas. No, this is a real one where we dress up like. Sorry, Pakistani gay bar. I might fly to Abbottabad for that.

[Brady]

That the fastest typist in the world. Type. 216 words per minute. The average typing speed is 41 words per minute.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Well, Brady's bringing the curve down on that one.

[Unidentified Guest]

But just gonna say that.

[John Holmberg]

What do you think you hit a minute? Eight?

[Brady]

20.

[John Holmberg]

You think you get 20? I think you get 20aminute.

[Brady]

Let's.

[Larry McFeely]

Let's time it later.

[Unidentified Guest]

Film him.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do it. Let's give Brady something to type. Let's. They have it Like a secretary's test.

[Brady]

Yeah. The pressures.

[Unidentified Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then see if he can chicken peck that out. Because days you have the backst space button before you couldn't make mistakes.

[Unidentified Guest]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

So let's see what Brady does without ever hitting Delete on the 20 word. I think I could get up to about 75 without hitting Delete. Or just maybe I could. If I really focused hard.

[Brady]

I could. I'm hitting delete no matter what.

[John Holmberg]

75 without. I think I can knock out a letter. I'm pretty good. Good. I get a little slop. I get a little ahead of myself because I'm comfortable with the delete. If you put me on a typewriter said no mistakes. 60. No kidding. Yeah. I think I was doing eighth grade. I got up to 80. Wow. That was pretty good. I got good at typing.

[Unidentified Guest]

So this. This is a te a few options for a test. So we do a one minute test and we can give him easy, medium or hard text. We can do tricky spelling, blind typing.

[John Holmberg]

Blind typing is what we need. That's the key to it, is you can't look at the keyboard somewhere.

[Larry McFeely]

They used to put those little manila folders over the keyboard in High School.

[John Holmberg]

Mrs. Miller. God damn, Mrs. Miller. Coffee breath. She smelled like the bottom of the pot.

[Brady]

Maybe you know one of the longest common words you can spell using just the top row?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

Now I gotta look at the top typewriter.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, I have heard that. Middle row, sodomy.

[Brady]

The best looks like is alfalfa.

[John Holmberg]

You can't spell alpha. Oh, it's got Fs. That's right. I put a P in it.

[Brady]

Bottom nothing. There's no vowels.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a vowel.

[Brady]

The only country whose name that can be typed on one row on the keyboard is Peru. And the only US state is Alaska.

[John Holmberg]

In the second row.

[Brady]

Huh.

[John Holmberg]

Turkey is close on the top row. Just the K. It's true.

[Brett Vesley]

What?

[Larry McFeely]

I was just thinking of the Pakistani.

[John Holmberg]

Pakistani is going to be in our minds for a while.

[Brady]

Inside of the Leaning Tower of Pisa is completely empty. It's just a hollow cylinder from top to bottom.

[John Holmberg]

It's a wework.

[Brady]

Now you got the steps, you gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gonna. Nobody's climbing those. Did you climb the steps to the top?

[Brady]

I did.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, they let you go in there?

[Brady]

When I was there in 87.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

You know you're not allowed. I think after you were there or two.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Because they don't let you do the same.

[Brady]

Started leaning a little more.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brady was on top like, oh, what does he do get out of there. This is like a zip line. There's a balance here.

[Brady]

We've done this one before but. And we've pulled up a picture. But in the 1920s and 30s, it was mostly in New York or people that live in high rises used cages for their kids. Sure to sit out on the window.

[John Holmberg]

It was called the Tears in Heaven.

[Brady]

The doctor said it was good, it was healthy for the kid and it.

[Larry McFeely]

Helped the growing make America great again.

[John Holmberg]

You guys want to hear a tasteless joke?

[Larry McFeely]

Hell yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All the time. Do you know what the difference between a child and a bag of cocaine is? No. Eric Clapton wouldn't have let a bag of cocaine fall out of his window. Laughs it's okay.

[Brady]

The word husband comes from the old Norse word husbandi which means master of the house. Wife comes from an old Indo European.

[John Holmberg]

Word weep.

[Brady]

Which means to wrap might have been referred to the veil the brides would wear.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta wrap them up.

[Brady]

We got a 41 year old teacher from Texas found a 2 carat diamond at a crater at Diamond State park in Arkansas last week. He went with his family after his daughter asked Siri where could we mine crystals. It's worth around five grand.

[John Holmberg]

But still he went to some stupid fun park in Arkansas.

[Brady]

Creator of Diamond State park in Arkansas.

[Unidentified Guest]

They say that that park, they usually find one about that size every year.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Wow. Well, it was going to Arkansas ever, but no. God no.

[Unidentified Guest]

You're rich In Arkansas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 5,000. You got two houses. It's pretty nice.

[Brady]

Education, college.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're paying for. Yeah, you're. You're a razorback.

[Brady]

Wildlife Rescue rescuers at the zoo In Tampa released 26 manatees back into the wild in 2025.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, we're putting what back in manatees? We lost those?

[Brady]

No, they. They're. Well, the population cutting down, but this is. This past year they released 25 rehabbed.

[John Holmberg]

Because they keep running into boat engines. So the dumbest animal in the ocean.

[Brady]

They don't run into them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they do. Have you seen them in Florida? No. When they're in Florida, I don't think.

[Brady]

They try to run into the boat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they do. They will swim right into a parked boat that just starts its engines because they're dumb and. Yeah, they get hit because they don't see it coming. They just kind of mill around the top. You know what other. Name another one that's constantly as a species getting pounded by boat engines. There aren't any humans. No, there aren't any. There's none. There's no other ocean animals. Animal that is getting run over constantly by boats. The manatee is the one. They're sea cows. They're idiots.

[Brady]

They've cared for over 600 manatees over the past 35 years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They can't. And that's the ones that they pull out. The rest of them just get butchered.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

Brady, do you still think Michael Phelps and manatees.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Unidentified Guest]

Have a good race.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't you put money on Michael?

[Unidentified Guest]

Yeah, you kind of did.

[Brady]

No, I think I was a manatee, didn't I?

[John Holmberg]

No, I wouldn't have did eventually.

[Unidentified Guest]

But you thought Michael Phelps would. Would keep pace.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He goes. I forget how fast he is in the wild.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter.

[Unidentified Guest]

In the wild.

[Brady]

Did you say in the wild? In the ocean there might be a difference. Slower speed in the wild than he would be in the.

[Unidentified Guest]

Okay, I'll give you that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you raced Michael Phillip Phelps. Phelps in the wild.

[Unidentified Guest]

That's the other.

[John Holmberg]

Against a manatee, he'd win. But in the water. I'm taking the water dwelling creature. It's not even a has. It's not even a thought like a seahorse. I put my money on him.

[Brady]

This shopping mall near Hong Kong is in the news after adding windows to their public bathroom stalls. You can see through them if the person inside lights up a cigarette. A lot of the people go in there to smoke or vaping.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that wouldn't light up.

[Brady]

It would because once it. Well, actually it's not clear if the vaping also activates the glass.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because it wouldn't have a cigarette smoke.

[Brady]

Heat is what the.

[John Holmberg]

Vape is just steam kind of. Right.

[Brady]

It says it kind of detects the smoke.

[John Holmberg]

It's vapor. Yeah, but it doesn't like it. You can. You can see the cigarette.

[Unidentified Guest]

That's because of water.

[John Holmberg]

The cherry. Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

It's not just water that you're inhaling though.

[Brady]

They say the new system seems to be working as people going in for smoke breaks.

[John Holmberg]

This guy actually made a great point. He said as fast as Toledo said God know about Arkansas. Made me realize that Toledo thinks Cambodia is better than Arkansas. That's how bad Arkansas. Arkansas is.

[Unidentified Guest]

I'll stand on that.

[John Holmberg]

We can sit and wave the American flag. But all 50 stars aren't good. I'd say 11 of the 50 stars.

[Unidentified Guest]

That's fair.

[John Holmberg]

That's not quite visible.

[Unidentified Guest]

20. That's 20% right.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe I'd go higher than that because that New England area is kind of loaded up. You don't like New No, I think it's great. I'm saying add a few. Gotcha.

[Unidentified Guest]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

So maybe 17 of the 50 stars are worth your trip.

[Unidentified Guest]

Oh, worth it.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you were the vacation.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

All of the Midwest is out.

[Brett Vesley]

All of it?

[John Holmberg]

All of a it.

[Unidentified Guest]

Where does the Midwest start? Is Colorado Midwest?

[John Holmberg]

Just south of Chicago. And then it runs all the way over to, like, New York.

[Brady]

That.

[Unidentified Guest]

That's the Midwest.

[John Holmberg]

To Pennsylvania.

[Larry McFeely]

Because Iowa would be still Midwest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Iowa too. So you go there. It's south of that. Yeah, that's. Nobody's ever taken trips to that for fun.

[Unidentified Guest]

Field of dreams.

[Larry McFeely]

No, that would be good for like an hour.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

And then what else you can do in Iowa?

[John Holmberg]

I went to Kansas City for three days and I was there for an hour before I was like, this is a bad idea. I thought you enjoyed Kansas City with hated Kansas City. I like the baseball games, but Kansas City was awful. Yeah, the Midwest stinks. So, like, there's like 15 states right there in the center that are not something I'd visit.

[Unidentified Guest]

You've been to St. Louis with hatred for the team.

[John Holmberg]

I have Awful, awful town.

[Brady]

The Arch.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

What else is there?

[Unidentified Guest]

That's it.

[Brady]

That's all.

[John Holmberg]

When that's your big deal. Not a travelable place place. There's probably a couple like, Montana's good.

[Unidentified Guest]

Montana's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Colorado, Wyoming would be on the list.

[Unidentified Guest]

I don't think those are Midwest.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm saying those are good ones.

[Unidentified Guest]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Gotcha, gotcha. Arkansas's right out. It's one of the higher end.

[Unidentified Guest]

Just go around it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you got to go to Mississippi.

[Unidentified Guest]

You got to go.

[Brady]

I think Arkansas. What is. Well, the draws.

[John Holmberg]

There's no drawbraining.

[Unidentified Guest]

No, because you spent some there, right?

[John Holmberg]

There's no draw there. You've never once gone into a travel agent who has a poster of Arkansas next to Hawaii. There's no draw if you're going Arkansas.

[Brady]

Ozarks was filmed.

[John Holmberg]

Nope, not a draw.

[Unidentified Guest]

Isn't that where you spent summers? That's where you spent some.

[Larry McFeely]

Why don't we go to Hazen, Arkansas just so I can haze.

[John Holmberg]

That's about it. Live. I'd speed around Hazel to see if I could get. Hey, where's the race there? Mario Andretti. I'd meet him. That's it. He's. He's the Arkansas.

[Larry McFeely]

He is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. To say the words, the draw is. You're not talking about Arkansas anymore. Anymore at all. There's no draw. Nobody is go. You know what? We're going to do that let's go to Arkansas this summer. If you don't have just for vacation, it's not happening. You have to have family there. You have to have some sort of weird purpose.

[Brady]

The Buffalo river isn't.

[John Holmberg]

No. You know what? You know when I first heard about.

[Brady]

That, I did the buffalo.

[Larry McFeely]

Brett, what is it?

[Brady]

It's in Arkansas.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know when I first heard about the Buffalo River?

[Brady]

River?

[John Holmberg]

When you said it about a minute ago.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No one talks about Arkansas's anything. It's awful. There is that bottom of the barrel? Like, is that Mississippi? West Virginia is pretty, but it's bottom of the barrel because of the people.

[Unidentified Guest]

Mississippi, Tennessee, surprisingly nice.

[John Holmberg]

Tennessee's nice. I'd say water raft in West Virginia.

[Brady]

And then get out.

[John Holmberg]

Kentucky's out. No, there's other places to do it.

[Unidentified Guest]

Whitewater raft. That's like Deliverance type stuff, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. That's why you don't do it.

[Brady]

Good experience.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's. Skip it. It's something, something.

[Brett Vesley]

Check out H's Morning Sickness [e-mail] Hberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

The Banjo plan's unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 12 to 15 states are worth like going to a place and saying, I'd like to travel there.

[Larry McFeely]

New Mexico's out.

[John Holmberg]

New Mexico's a. Yeah, that shouldn't be anything. Yeah, visit New Mexico is not. No, maybe Santa Fe maybe. But we've got Sedona. So if you're gonna do one or the other, this is for all the tourists here from Miami and Mississippi today. You came to a good spot. New Mexico's a waste of money and time. It'll be cold, but here today you'll be fine.

[Brady]

Grand Canyon, be beautiful. A fortune teller in Thailand got arrested on New Year's Day after predicting a woman would lose something valuable. 19 year old victim saw the guy outside a temple and agreed to pay for a reading. He apparently used tarot cards. 38 year old Fortune teller told her he saw bad luck ahead and that she'd lose a valuable item in her near future. He said he could prevent it for an extra fee. She wouldn't pay it. She realized her iPhone was missing later that day. He took it, went back, accused him of stealing it. He denied it, claimed he just did a really good job at prediction, but even described what the thief looked like.

[Larry McFeely]

Here we go.

[Brady]

Other people stepped in, then dug through a box of the guy had and found the phone.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brady]

She called the cops. No word on the exact charges or facing her name. Death entirely.

[John Holmberg]

Her name is Doug? No, who's Doug? Yeah, who's Doug?

[Brady]

I don't know. When I said Doug, you said Doug.

[John Holmberg]

Threw his a box.

[Brady]

Yeah, they dug through a box.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they dug. You didn't say that. Said Doug. Yeah, it sounded like Doug. Like, who's Doug?

[Brady]

When he was Hopkins then dug through a box.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

D O U G.

[Brady]

The top hot sauce brands of 20, 25.

[John Holmberg]

Random Frank's. You're surprised?

[Brady]

Frank's red hot, number one.

[Unidentified Guest]

That's because the other one has gone away, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no advertising.

[Brady]

That was in number seven. Tabasco, McLaney Boy Fong Sriracha. That's the rooster. That was number two. Taco Bell, number three.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Cholula number four. Texas Pete five. Then Louisiana Brand, which is a Tabasco. Then McElhennies Tabasco number seven.

[Unidentified Guest]

And Brady's is where.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. Where's your pick?

[Brady]

No longer being produced. Oh, it was.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry. I just killed myself from the world's worst story.

[Brady]

Second year. Second year in a row it's been bumped. Yeah, because it stopped.

[Larry McFeely]

What's your favorite? Brady. What are you going with?

[John Holmberg]

Gonna keep this going?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, I like Cholula.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Frank's Red Hot's good.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's not gonna say anything bad about any of that list. What's bad?

[Brady]

No, I don't. I'm not a big fan of Texas Pete because just don't like the way the taste profile.

[John Holmberg]

Generally. Had to shoot twice to go myself. That story made me think Arkansas is not such a bad idea.

[Larry McFeely]

Don't throw your pills away.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? You're right. I need to pill out.

[Brady]

Bath and Body Works debuted a new candle last month. Pizza and Ranch. People magazine, already discontinued, said they discontinued it after some people got the candle, lit it up and gagged. So they got more multiple gag complaints about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So it's probably worth some money now because they discontinue that candle.

[John Holmberg]

Burning dairy is never really on my list of things that I think is going to smell good. Ranch dressing on fire.

[Brady]

It was part of their line of candles called Perfect Pairings. There were three other ones. Comes coffee and donuts, Popcorn and slushy. Chips and salsa.

[John Holmberg]

The smell of chips and salsa might not be bad. Cookie candles are good. Cake candles are good. They are apple pie ones.

[Unidentified Guest]

Apple pie is different.

[John Holmberg]

Some of those are great.

[Unidentified Guest]

But remember Randall used to like sometimes vanilla stuff that he would do that just made me sick of vanilla.

[John Holmberg]

His were two strippers.

[Unidentified Guest]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

We worked with a guy who burned tons of Candles.

[Brady]

And it smelled like that sandalwood.

[John Holmberg]

It was just too stripperish. It was too sugary.

[Brett Vesley]

Remember?

[Brady]

Depended on his mood.

[Larry McFeely]

Remember when he would leave the candles on? Like, overnight?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The whole place?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

John, Texas Pete's sauce tastes like you licked Brady's taint and spit it in a bottle.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. I'll take your word for it. So it only tastes like if I lick his taint, other people get a satisfying taint of flavor off of Brady that I do not get.

[Brady]

Got a couple of Brady videos.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, would you be confident letting someone lick your taint right now?

[Unidentified Guest]

Confident, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You would feel good about that? You wouldn't have to go clean up? No, not at all. Toledo?

[Unidentified Guest]

Yeah, I'd be good right now.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

I don't know where you're going with that, but yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Showered this morning, too. I still think taint looking is something you'd to like, you don't prep for.

[Unidentified Guest]

So you would not feel comfortable right now.

[John Holmberg]

I'm always comfortable back there. Clean.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

But just for courtesy's sake, I'd give it a.

[Unidentified Guest]

For a lick.

[Brady]

I don't know, you know, like, how comfortable I'd be about it. But as far as the, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Someone getting sick or, like, you mean emotionally comfortable? You wouldn't like it.

[Brady]

Yeah, that'd be tough. The emotional part of it would be.

[John Holmberg]

No, physically, yeah, I'm okay. You're. You're like. You think it's clean enough? You would like if somebody goes, end.

[Brady]

Of the day and I haven't showered?

[John Holmberg]

Of course not. Of course not.

[Unidentified Guest]

Anything. How about end of the show?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, end of the show. No, probably.

[Brady]

Yeah. I wouldn't want.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you want to go give it a swipe? There's rules to that. I think for every hour you're awake, it's one swipe to the taint.

[Unidentified Guest]

Oh, man. Okay, so into the show. We got to do six wipes.

[John Holmberg]

You give yourself a nice cleaning.

[Unidentified Guest]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Ladies, are you listening?

[Brady]

It's a sinkhole. That happened in a QT in Oklahoma.

[John Holmberg]

Right under the gas pumps. Whoa. The whole QT went under. Oh, my goodness. Is that real? That can't be looked at it. No, that's AI. The. The gas pumps just stood back up. They said it's real.

[Unidentified Guest]

I actually looked at a story.

[John Holmberg]

Really? When it pops again, the gas pumps go back on.

[Unidentified Guest]

It says Tulsa area, so they're fracking all over.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Oh, don't get all liberal on me on that one. Jesus Christ, Kamala, give us a break.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo's right. They're fracking. I mean, I stand. If Toledo is 100% right. You are all out of your mind.

[Larry McFeely]

Those Toledo walls.

[John Holmberg]

That's just fracking. That's how that is. That's from fracking. Now this fracking. They had sinkholes before fracking, Bernie.

[Brady]

This next one, I don't know if it's AI or not, but it's a drone attack.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady]

Drone assassin.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, cool. Things going over the tops of buildings. The breakneck speed. Oh, it's looking for a dude here. It's coming down into this building. It's gonna find him. Is it shooting? Oh, it's shooting. Oh, it just ran itself. Look at the body. Oh, my Lord. So this drone just goes flying into this thing, finds the guy on top of a roof, and then they fly the. You think it's gonna shoot at him? It just flies the drone directly into the guy and blows up. And then when it blows up, his body shoots a building over and lands on the roof next door. Oh, that's awesome.

[Larry McFeely]

AI or not.

[John Holmberg]

That's cool. And it's incredible. I don't think that's AI because it's.

[Brady]

I'm like the new.

[John Holmberg]

The AI would make that look cleaner.

[Brady]

Thanks to the grand theft.

[John Holmberg]

Man, that's cool.

[Unidentified Guest]

And we're floating drones that now in a year and a half when grand theft comes out.

[Brady]

Is that how long it is?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's just October. Yeah, but they're gonna. It's gonna be pretty magnificent. But that was incredible.

[Brady]

I don't know if I'll get off the roof.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not gonna make it to the roof. That mission is gonna evade you.

[Larry McFeely]

He's gonna be walking stairs.

[Unidentified Guest]

Advanced.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, first day will be fit. You're not flying drones on Grand 7.

[Brady]

I'll be trying to get on the elevator.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you'll be doing. You'll be the one standing halfway in the door and halfway out doing that walk in space thing. This game's dumb.

[Brady]

Next is little Indian Cricket.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, with a Brady's. One of Brady's.

[Brady]

Wicked googly.

[John Holmberg]

He throws at the birth defects on this guy. Every hand is and foot is facing the wrong way.

[Larry McFeely]

Wrong with you, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

His legs should have Dixon Ticonderoga Litten on the side, cuz they're like the skinniest legs I've ever seen. He can't walk. His stomach. His stomach is. He does it better than I expected.

[Brady]

It's almost like highlight.

[Larry McFeely]

Take that, Jim Abbott.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, his stomach and his hip are his balancing points.

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[Brady]

Hit one of those doggy scoops.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like a doggy. The Chuck.

[Brady]

The Chuck it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. His hands are chuckets and he lays on his belly and throws the ball. But you know what? By the way, every one of his pitches got taken yard. I don't know if you guys noticed. The hitter was having no problem with his movement.

[Brady]

This last one is a guy at a party dancing labeled Lego Man. You'll see why.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we're dancing at a party. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

There's Lego.

[John Holmberg]

Got a close up on a guy who looks like he's got a completely Lego shaped head. All right, Brady, that's a great one. He doesn't blow up or anything.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. What you're asking me to do here is play by play of an action video, not just check out that guy. That's a tough one. That's a tough one for me to do. Play by play on. But I look like a Lego man. It's not a lot I can get. We get it. We know what Lego men look like. But had he exploded? Amazing.

[Unidentified Guest]

Yeah. More explosions.

[Brady]

The head popped off.

[Unidentified Guest]

Let that be your guy.

[John Holmberg]

Or jammed himself into two legs. Little circular posts.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

So there's three categories for you.

[John Holmberg]

Bulls. Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

And blowups.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Explosions. Brett, you've got different categories.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

Oh, and breast milk. I forgot.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he doesn't. Those are for him.

[Unidentified Guest]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here we go.

[Larry McFeely]

We'll start off here with a little blind skateboarding.

[Brady]

What?

[Larry McFeely]

Literally sold.

[John Holmberg]

He's a blind person about to drop in with a cane. Got the cane for it as well. We're hurricane skateboarding. Doing the super fast ones. Goes up the other side.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

And just jumps out of the bowl. That's about how I thought that was.

[Brady]

Into the parking lot.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't. I thought it would fall down the second it dropped in. It drops in and does it all the way across.

[Brady]

Hardest park.

[John Holmberg]

It was amazing, the skate park. Just skating away with the thing. Finds the.

[Brady]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

And then. Doesn't land it. Doesn't land it. A lot better than I thought.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Still, we knew tragedy was awaiting us. All right, next video. I like that one.

[Larry McFeely]

We'll start with some fun at the food court.

[John Holmberg]

All right. There's a girl in a very small skirt. It's a KFC food court. She's lifted her butt. She's got a butt plug in. Well, it wasn't a butt plug. It was a front plug. Oh, she's taking it out of herself. And then she took a bite of it and just had a good time there at the kfc.

[Brett Vesley]

Food court.

[John Holmberg]

Court at the mall. Why is that gross? Eating that wasn't out of her butt. That came out of the good stuff. No, no, Brady.

[Unidentified Guest]

Maybe it's the start of her day.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. No, it's below. No, it's not. There's a. But there's a hole above that. She gives herself a little flavor taste right there. See the.

[Unidentified Guest]

Is that the welcome to the Colonel's Chicken?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, it's kfc.

[Brady]

I don't think that's the hole.

[John Holmberg]

No, right above it. You can see it when she pulls it out. It's a double stuff.

[Brett Vesley]

Ready?

[Unidentified Guest]

Right there.

[John Holmberg]

There's the other one.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, she's pretty clean, though. It's a good job.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good job. Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

And to your point from yesterday, well tanned, had the right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she cleaned it up. There's a bleaching mechanism there. If you're going to show that to people on film, clean it. It's like when you're selling a car. You don't show it after you dirty it up. Yeah, you get in there and you paint the scratches and B holes. The cameras are too clean now. If you're going to show it on camera, you got to get that. The stains off. Oh, God. I'll just go with this. All right. Oh, my God. This is a lady wrapped in some sort of Reynolds wrap and then some mechanized sex toys being shoved into her mouth. Now she's just vomiting pure milk and she's. Oh, my God. That was. It was like a piston. Show me that again.

[Larry McFeely]

The sound was pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

This is the sound effects that. The Pakistani gay bar. Yeah, that's pretty.

[Brady]

God, it almost looks like they did. I think they did multiple takes on this.

[Unidentified Guest]

That's not how it sounded when Bus was throwing up in your.

[John Holmberg]

That was right. Exactly what it was. No, cuz he burped first. At least he gave me a warning. Bus. I'm like, oh, God damn it. Right in my ear. It was a cuddle. It was a kiss.

[Brett Vesley]

Boss.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. And then I. Then you put your finger in there to like wipe out all the puke that the dog just did.

[Brady]

Is it all over the couch?

[John Holmberg]

Kibble? No, it was on me. It was. It was a little one and it went right into my ear. And as I'm peeling my finger through the canal, little kibble bits, little chewed up cookie. And he's looking at me like, what?

[Brady]

That's okay.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't okay. But again, I would have killed a human being. Who pukes in my ear? Anyone that goes. Hey, I love you, man. Because that's what he was doing. He's just like, I love you, man. I love you. Excuse me. Sorry. I still love you. And I wasn't. I didn't throw him or anything.

[Larry McFeely]

And since it's a rainy day today, let's get a little rain into the weather.

[John Holmberg]

There's a girl, a very attractive lady, and she's at a car park. She's getting anally violated. I believe that's on the. On the side of the road there. It's just on a. They're changing a tire. And now she's peeing all over the guy. She's got the.

[Brady]

So there's this way.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, she's. She is full of liquid. This is the most well hydrated woman I've ever seen.

[Larry McFeely]

And we'll just finish with that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. There's no way that activity was going on with Grandma and Grandpa Vest. They invented squirting in the 1990s. That didn't exist with Alvar and Isabel. My grandparents did not ever go in the bedroom and lay down. Plastic. Although I've said it for years. That's maybe why all of our grandparents had plastic runners on the floor and plastic on the couches. The worst phrase you've ever heard in your life. Grandma was a squirter.

[Brady]

Why do you have it on there? For guests.

[John Holmberg]

Just to keep the kids from dropping food. Food. Oh, Grandma's a squirter. That got invented recently.

[Larry McFeely]

So there's a lot of the stuff we've seen on my videos.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's a 21st century thing. No freaking way. Mary Todd Lincoln scored it. No way. And none of her friends did.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, it wasn't talked about.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, still had those. Those ladies were.

[Brady]

Knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

Beaten to death almost immediately. Back in the day, if you tried that on a man, she's defective now. It's like a badge of honor for men to make or lose it. It's great stuff. Yeah. Squirting is a. I think Obama brought that to the party. I think it was.

[Larry McFeely]

I mean, Big Mike.

[John Holmberg]

Big Mike was probably. But she squirts. There's no doubt about it. She's a squirrel squirt. Big Mike will tell you and show you if you're interested. And it's like a Tootsie Roll pop. Three licks and the center comes at you. You don't have to get through the crusty shell. Crusty Shell's a good band name. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership feed. I have heard enough of this.

[Brett Vesley]

You PD H's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Ah, barrette. I do 12 hours. 12 hours. Brett's gonna be laughing. You're gonna be having the time of your life. Show starts at 7. 7:30. 7:30?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna be in heaven.

[Unidentified Guest]

Be great.

[John Holmberg]

12 hours from now, you're gonna be rolling and it'll just about be over, like, oh, show it again. Brett's going to book a Mormon tonight.

[Unidentified Guest]

We're going Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

Are you going too? Yeah, I gotta figure. I didn't know it was here. I might go tonight. I might go tomorrow and Saturday or get on StubHub. Yeah, I'll just show up and start sneaking in. Okay. Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

You've seen the old people that usher at the Damage, right?

[John Holmberg]

I might just go and I will suck yo ticket. I'll do it.

[Unidentified Guest]

Tell him you're part of the crew, part of the cast.

[John Holmberg]

I could.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Supposed to go in Hasadiga Eboi. Hello, my name is Elder Clark. Like to share with you the most amazing book. You're gonna love this, by the way. I've been.

[Brett Vesley]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's. It's a musical.

[Larry McFeely]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

It's kind of like Scare Me the Twinkie. Don't worry about it. It doesn't make you gay. If you're. If you're that close to riding the fence and being gay, you just better stay home. You'll be fine. You're not going to come out of there gay, all right? You are going to be. Your stomach's going to hurt. Yeah, like you ate too much bad stuff. So it's a little bit like being gay. I just got news from Adot, by the way, a little breaking news that if you want to go to the game tonight, leave now. It's not going to be good. It's rain. It's going to be miserable. So tonight's game between Miami and Ole Miss. If you want to go, now's the. The time to leave to get there at a reasonable time. They say that if you're in central Phoenix and you leave right now, you should be arriving right about 3 o'. Clock. So that'll be perfect. The tailgate and stuff. If you live in the East Valley, you should have left two or three hours ago. But you can still get there by game time. If you leave now, this is going to be a nightmare.

[Unidentified Guest]

B and B in Glendale yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Yeah, you should have thought ahead. It's going to be really tough with traffic and now. And for those of you who are from out of town that are listed listening. Rain in Phoenix and weather and traffic is a disaster. We're horrible at it. We have to. You got to remember these people are from. A lot of them are from Miami. The other half is from the swamps of Mississippi. They will not understand our behavior. When the magic elixir starts to fall from the clouds. We don't. We lose our minds. So people from Florida who like drive in hurricanes, it rains there every day for a minute or two. They don't have that problem.

[Brett Vesley]

We do.

[John Holmberg]

So Floridians, we apologize but if you leave now you'll avoid the insanity and rush hour by the stadium is going to be a disaster. So once again Adot has reminded all of you if you have tickets to tonight's game and you're not already across central heading west. It's about a six and a half, seven hour trip now. So whatever you had planned, put your forks down, no more breakfast. It's over. And head on out to the stadium and get out of our way.

[Unidentified Guest]

Your private plane guy could make any money on people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Getting a private jet from Scottsdale over to it still. Yeah. I don't know where you're gonna land, Luke. Land out there. It's a good question.

[Unidentified Guest]

I didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. He'll put it down. We'll get it there. But yeah, yeah, Brink could get something together on that. But either way should have left by now. If you haven't, you got a big day. Adot said so. This isn't me. This is Adot Sand. And actually it started by saying Arizona Department of Transportation asks all people heading to tonight's game to get the out of our way. And that's essentially what I'm doing is trying to help out the people who actually work every day from having to deal with this disaster because it's going to get Messy come about 4:30 and that's when it's already bad. Now people are going against it. Salmon. Salmon going downstream, stuck in traffic.

[Brady]

You'll be hearing people yelling hottie Toddy.

[Brett Vesley]

Why?

[Brady]

And just that's.

[John Holmberg]

Is that what they yell at Ole Miss for Ole Miss know that that's not as. That's gayer than the thing you're going to be doing.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

Good.

[Larry McFeely]

Now I feel good.

[John Holmberg]

Hottie toddy. Also, you don't want to piss Florida people off. We got a lot of Floridians here, so be careful between the scary people from Miami and the hillbilly people from Miami. Loving that Miami team. That's a group of rednecks that. Look, we could tell them there's a python hunt and that we could distract them for a little while because they'll do it.

[Brady]

It.

[Unidentified Guest]

You warned people last week, Michael Irvin's in town.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Michael Irvin's here. Warren SAP may be here. Probably Ray Lewis is here. It's almost like a jail has opened up. Miami is in town. The convicts are here. And that's not their reputation anymore because they figured out how to get away with stuff. They still like you, you know, they're still convicts and deep down want people to think so because all of their. Their stars from the past that they allow on the sidelines. You don't see Vinny Testaverde on the sidelines. It's all the guys who got out of jail at one point or another.

[Brett Vesley]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

Miami is loaded up with dudes with prison records and they let them still hang around the team. They should have like Steve Walsh and Jim Kelly and Bernie Kozar and all. But Bernie's sick. But all these other guys now, but Ken Dorsey. Yeah, some of these you get. You get a few of them Willis McGahey dudes who haven't been to jail. But you look on that sideline line, it's all their jailbirds, you know, all of them. And Michael Irvin went crazy against Ohio State. He dressed up a Gatorade bottle as an Ohio State fan and took his belt off and began to spank. Wasn't a bottle. It was one of those coolers. Did you see that? He took a T shirt, an Ohio State T shirt, and put it over a Gatorade igloo.

[Brady]

Cool.

[John Holmberg]

And then pulled his belt off and then had a guy bend it over and just whipped the thing on the sideline. The game's still going on. Yeah, the game was still going on. Michael Irvin lost his mind. It was hilarious, but he'd lost his ever loving mind. All the convicts from Miami are gonna be on the sidelines. The city is loaded with rap sheets because Miami's here. So be careful because the python hunters are their fans. They're. They're weirder than the actual convict. And I think they're going to win. So there's a good chance something gets lit on Fire. That's west side, man. They'll be used to it. But this is this. Even the Westsider. The Westsiders come, they. They turn into Paradise Valley people compared to these Miami fans.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You'll see. Luther Campbell.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, Maryville, step it up.

[John Holmberg]

Luther Campbell is. He'd be like. He'd look at the west side and like, what's with all you prissy bitches? Like, there's nothing thing. Yeah, two Life Crew, they'll be there. Michael Irvin, Ray Lewis. Hide your kids, hide your husbands. Everybody getting raped around here. Warren SAP, chucking women around. You'll see the.

[Brett Vesley]

You.

[Brady]

Don Johnson.

[John Holmberg]

Did Don Johnson go to the U? No, that's. No, we're not talking about that right now. Not all of Miami, just the school.

[Larry McFeely]

Edward James, almost. He'll be there, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, well, now, see, don't get distracted by him and then go down the wrong road. No, look, I got to drive this train. Whenever he derails it, I got to put it back. Don't help. Speaking of Florida, by the way, did you see the thing they got going on with those python hunts? They've got heat sensor fake robot rabbits now to lure them out. Yeah. And they put them in cages, and then they. And then the. Because they can't find all these pythons, they think that even with the python hunting by all these. These creepy Floridians, that they slow the population. They don't know. So they're.

[Brett Vesley]

They.

[John Holmberg]

They assume They've got over 10,000 adult Pythons living Florida trying to do those.

[Brady]

Roundups and cut down.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing you can do. And they're having these invasive bucks a foot. But anytime one of those snakes get pregnant, they have like six or seven more snakes and they're just a non. It's never going to end. So they've. They've hired Floridians to walk the swamps and try to catch them. And they're doing a pretty good job considering. Considering. But they're like, what if we have robots that, like, let off heat sensors and then the snakes will smell and sense the heat pattern and go towards it. And then. So here's what I thought they were doing. I thought they were I.E.D. ing the rabbits and then the snake would start to eat it. No. So they're getting there and they have it in a cage. And then when the sensors go off, somebody from Game and Fish goes and rounds up the snake make.

[Brett Vesley]

And then they.

[Unidentified Guest]

I like your way better.

[John Holmberg]

It's a better way. And then they release it humanely, where they're not releasing that thing.

[Brady]

They're releasing the.

[John Holmberg]

Humanely releasing it. They're just putting it into a shelter and doing tests on it. They're going to kill it anyway, have the rabbits explode.

[Brady]

The roundups are taking them out.

[John Holmberg]

They're not. Their population growing like crazy. That's why they have the fake bunnies now. Now is because their little roundups aren't working. So it's working, but not fast enough. So, like, let's just get fake fake prey. So they're building all these stuffed rabbits, you know, and they're putting stuff in them, and then they put them in little cages. And the snakes, like, they have a scent of rabbit and then the heat. Because that's how snakes, like, sense the heat of something. Like. Oh, that's a living thing. So they see the heat and it lets off, like, it emits, like, a little heat pattern.

[Brett Vesley]

Pattern.

[John Holmberg]

The snake shows up to see what the hell this is, because they think it's prey. And then some guy comes and picks it up, evidently. Just let it eat the rabbit. Let's build hundreds of explosive heat rabbits and just blow the living out of all these pythons. It's an easy solution, but. But then, of course, you get people who are mad that that's what. What are they doing with all these pythons? They're capturing. They're killing them. Yeah, blow them up. Make it fun.

[Brady]

They say they all to, you know, relocate alligators.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't.

[Brady]

Too big in certain areas, like in Naples.

[John Holmberg]

And that's to keep people quiet.

[Brady]

We'll put them over there in the Okeechobee.

[John Holmberg]

They're not putting them anywhere but in. They're holding their heads under brackish water to drown them in salt, and they're killing them anyway. They're trying to make it so they don't start going after kids and people because there's so many of them now, and they can't. They can't find them. So they're called cyberpunk bunnies. So far.

[Brady]

It's gonna be pricey.

[John Holmberg]

How. How you put a couple of those heat packs you put in your pockets when it snows. I guess maybe Josh sells them at Action Ride Shop. For God's sake.

[Brady]

Spray them with heat.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Put whatever you want to put. Rub them up against a real rabbit.

[Unidentified Guest]

I don't think you need that.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Unidentified Guest]

But if you like swimming and pee.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just go rub it on a real rabbit and put it out there. And if no snakes come, rub a rabbit on it again. You get one rabbit and 6,000 of these robot rabbits. This is. This is over in a week. If you include explosives, it wouldn't take much. One of those little M80s, those little tiny things, A cherry bomb, something like that. And if you've got monitoring on it already, I mean, what's more expensive? The rabbits blowing up or having a guy sit there and monitor? Okay, there's a snake. He's got to drive all the way over there, pick up the snake, drive all the way back.

[Brady]

You're talking about doing that in Florida. You take people out.

[John Holmberg]

So tell Florida.

[Brady]

I'm gonna hug it.

[John Holmberg]

Tell Floridians they're allowed to blow snakes up. Your snake problem goes away. Saturday, it's over. You can blow them up now, gang, or you can put tannerite out. Yep, and I know you've got it, so go crazy. The amount of yahooing that would go on in central Miami and Florida area. Oh my Go.

[Brett Vesley]

Woo.

[John Holmberg]

Look at snake chunks everywhere.

[Unidentified Guest]

That's good eats.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. Of course it is. You think those rednecks are out there picking them up and taking them to a humane location and disposing them? No, they're chopping them in half and making lassos and boots.

[Larry McFeely]

I just think of the. The mountain deer buckles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, that's.

[John Holmberg]

That's what it is. My cyber bunny got one. Come on. They'd make them at home. It wouldn't cost the state anything. Just like here. You're allowed to put M80s and Tannerite in a stuffed animal. If you just put this little heat seeker in there and then just sit in your backyard and wait for the pythons, those rednecks would love it. And by the way, Saturday 2:33 in the afternoon, Governor of Florida goes out and goes, we don't have a problem anymore. We blew up over 30,000 snakes in like eight houses. But that was gonna happen.

[Unidentified Guest]

We are snake free.

[John Holmberg]

We're snake free. In fact, we have more fake rabb than we know what to do with. Give Florida permission to blow stuff up. Problem solved. Absolutely solved.

[Unidentified Guest]

Oh my God. Apparently we have a Cuban listener. John, we have a thing called banana rats. In Cuba, the pest control guys just shoot them at night and then the giant boas come there and eat them.

[John Holmberg]

What are we waiting for?

[Unidentified Guest]

What's the difference there? Just the rabbits are cuddlier.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think the risk of releasing a bunch of rats that become more rats than you need.

[Unidentified Guest]

There you go.

[Brady]

And sometimes the dead feed is hard. They. They want the life or has a Little warmth.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, then shoot a BB into them and let them struggle and make them easy prey. This is simple. This is a simple solution. Deep down, I think they kind of want the python problem because it eliminates a lot of hillbillies as they're hunting. We don't hear about that. Like, 20 Floridians die every month from python hunts because they drown.

[Brady]

Or it's mostly like dogs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they blow themselves up or they do something really stupid. But I like robot bunnies until I read that they're decoys for proper disposal. I want. I want explosions screwing around with that. Also, I'm getting a lot of emails about what happened up there in Minneapolis. I withhold comments till I know for sure what's going on. And by the way, let's not go crazy. I already watched a little news on this one. One side's packing its lunch, the other's packing its lunch. On how wrong once both things can be. True, Everyone could have been wrong here. Still, one person lost their life. But if that lady was trying to run people over with a car, it doesn't get good after that. Usually when you're trying to run people over with a car, there's a chance you're going to get hit.

[Unidentified Guest]

She put herself in harm's way.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe hold with hold common till we know for sure. Because right now it's just what everybody wants it to be. Whatever feeds that side, you know, So I don't know. Doesn't look good. How about this? But aren't sure. Did they fire him?

[Unidentified Guest]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

All right. The Miami Dolphins coach has been fired. He can go hunt cobras now or whatever.

[Brady]

John Harbor. Brady made a hard play for Harbor.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

First to contact him.

[John Holmberg]

There's going to be calls for Harbaugh.

[Larry McFeely]

Who'S left on the list. Who else are we expecting for coaching?

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Cardinals are going to interview Matt Nagy. That's smart. We'll talk to Dale about this in a minute. Pretty solid list of people the Cardinals are going to screw up by not.

[Larry McFeely]

Was there anybody else, though, that should.

[John Holmberg]

Be fired or is expected to be in the Cardinals camp?

[Unidentified Guest]

No.

[Brady]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

To be fired.

[John Holmberg]

Well, now that Harbaugh's out, I would suspect there's two or three teams like Tampa, New Orleans, that are kind of middling with their coach and like, oh, well, that's much better. So you'd get rid of a coach that you didn't expect a fire to keep him, to get him. We'll see Tennessee, a couple of those places, they're like we're automatically better once he shows up. So let's not try and find out if we have the.

[Brett Vesley]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

I can't imagine that the dude down there, Kellen Moore down in New Orleans, is breathing easy on his contract. With John Harbaugh floating around? I don't know. We'll see. We'll find out. And Dale's gonna come in here and talk a little sports with us in a minute, but. Yeah. Fired Mike McDaniel. He might be the next Cardinals coach. Another coach with capri pants. That's what this place needs. It could happen. We'll wait for Dale. He's coming in here next. We'll talk a little sports. It's 98.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. You P.D.

[Brett Vesley]

Hberg'S morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 can't do that crap. All right.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, John, are you still walking on cloud nine?

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty happy, Dale. Thursday, I'm coming down a little bit because, you know, the weather ain't helping and all that, but I'm still. When I think about the Ravens and stadium, right, I get real happy. And Tripp even goes, Jesus. It's intolerable, your happiness.

[Brett Vesley]

It is. You walked into our place on Tuesday, and I was like, whoa, you.

[John Holmberg]

First thing you said.

[Brett Vesley]

I got a magic carper. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I was like Aladdin. Oh, boys.

[Brett Vesley]

Like you're in love again.

[John Holmberg]

I brought donuts. I brought slushies. I was so happy. I'm still happy. And when I. And look, when I'm. When I'm feeling a little down, Dale, I just go to my phone, and I take a. I take a look at one of my favorite things ever. A picture of Derrick Henry as the kick goes past the uprights. It's.

[Brett Vesley]

I love that meme. You sent me that. If it goes through the uprights.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Fire Mike Tomlin.

[Brett Vesley]

Tomlin's gone either side. Harbaugh's gone.

[John Holmberg]

It's a tough one. Dale hell is here. Former Dallas Cowboy, three time world champion, and hopefully babysitter of Michael Irvin tonight in the next couple days. Because he's here, right? Have you talked to him?

[Brett Vesley]

We texted yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Are you guys hanging out?

[Brett Vesley]

I don't hang out with Michael.

[Brady]

I thought there was a chance.

[Brett Vesley]

Why? Oh, he Go.

[John Holmberg]

He. He's.

[Brett Vesley]

First of all, he's got 10 times as much energy as I do. That's true. He tends to go places that I do not frequent.

[Larry McFeely]

They're gonna go to the Boom Boom.

[John Holmberg]

The Boom Boom Room. Yeah. He likes the Boom Boom Room.

[Brett Vesley]

Is there such thing as a Boom?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's McDowell and 16th Street. I want to go in there really bad, but I'm. I. I don't think I'm wanted.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Larry McFeely]

Michael. Have Dale set it up.

[John Holmberg]

Would Michael Irvin go? Hey, look, I can roll with the big boys. I'll go out with Michael Irvin and the gang.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, the game games tonight, right? That thing won't be over. Well, it starts at 5:30. Yeah, they'll be overrun. 10 o'.

[Larry McFeely]

Clock.

[John Holmberg]

But it'll be in the West Valley.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, but they'll make their way. They're not standing.

[John Holmberg]

Could meet Michael and the gang at the Rah Rah Room. Rah Rah. We'll go to Rah Rah Room. I'll get him some meat and we'll.

[Brett Vesley]

Head over to Boom. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'll. I'll cover it.

[Brett Vesley]

You will?

[John Holmberg]

So long. You. You can come with. And you cover too. Yeah, and then we'll roll over to the Boom Boom Room on 16th and you and I will go. No one will even notice.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Our glowing white asses in there. And Michael Irvin's with us.

[Brett Vesley]

Is that Boom Room?

[John Holmberg]

No, it is not. It's just a really cool club that.

[Brett Vesley]

That you're not.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that prop. I would be welcome.

[Larry McFeely]

But remember that scene in Animal House?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the Boom Boom Room. I look way too much like a cop for them to be. It wouldn't be that I wouldn't be welcome. It would be uncomfortable for everyone in there to go, what's he doing here? I look like a narc.

[Brady]

So I'm gonna ask you to leave.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be fine, but everybody else would be like, all right. Yeah, he's killing the room. I kill the vibe.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes. And you've done that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. I know when I'm doing it. I am highly aware when I'm like, hey, guys, I'm wrecking this place and.

[Larry McFeely]

It ain't on Michael with you. You're not ruining nothing.

[John Holmberg]

All I am is his albino friend. Yeah, they might think I'm like, I'm with Michael Daryl Johnson or something. You don't know I'm with Michael. Yeah, they'll be like his white friend. Must. Must be a cowboy too, or something. I don't know. Yeah, but it would be. You're not hanging out with him. That's weird.

[Brett Vesley]

No. Everybody kind of knows that there's a separation of state and power and religion and. And all that. That's why I never knew where the White House was.

[John Holmberg]

You weren't allowed to go to the sex stat dungeon.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

That the Cowboys bought because cowboy players. Right. Okay. You weren't allowed.

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, they had John Holmberg money. I mean, you own a couple houses. Your wife doesn't even know.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Yeah, it's true. I have a white house.

[Larry McFeely]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's white. For reasons that are different than that one. It's just me. And they're painting. Dale is brought to you by our friends over at Diamond Coatings. DiamondCoatings. AZ.com is where you go. I'm having them come out, take care of some outdoor countertops. The sun has gotten to. They've got a plan for that. They already did my sport court. If you've got pavers, a garage floor, your driveway, anything that you have a surface, they can make it look better. Check them out. Diamond coatings AZ.com. let's talk Dale. Let's talk sports. First off, let's talk about what Brett was showing you when you walked in the room, which was an Instagram girl dancing with her mother.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And you asked me.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Mother, daughter, hot. Right?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I said no.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Both of them are independently beautiful together. It's incest.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. And I. I know. I. I did not know you had lines.

[John Holmberg]

That is. You should have that line.

[Brett Vesley]

No, I have lines. I didn't think you had lies.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't a second ago. Who's with me on this one? That. He was.

[Brett Vesley]

He was propagating the mother, daughter say what stays. What goes on off air stays. What's your demand? To have your show on. On TV or whatever it is.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about? Oh, I have the thing. We'll put the cameras up, but when we're off the air.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, it stays off.

[John Holmberg]

But that's because of Brett, not because of you and I talking. All I wanted to do is teach you how wrong incest is, and you can't talk about that stuff.

[Brett Vesley]

Please.

[John Holmberg]

If. If you've crossed the line with me, you've crossed a line.

[Brett Vesley]

That is. That. That is something that I never thought I could do.

[Brady]

Never knew there was a line.

[John Holmberg]

When you see me go. That is enough. You have gone so far past the line. Let's talk. First off, we'll get out the of the way. Suns are a blast. Oh, how much fun it was. But watching Kevin Durant beat him the other night was a killer. And. But I talked to Kevin Ray last night during the game.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I said, first off, I figured out why they're fun. The Suns are fun. Because for the first time in four years, we're watching flow. The team.

[Brett Vesley]

The ball doesn't get stopped, the team doesn't stop.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, oh, that's what's been missing. It's moving and everyone's moving and there's a. It's not like jammed in a corner, and then they just pop it out and hope for the best. So you're watching flow. And I'm like, I haven't recognized what flow looks like for four years. Watching the Suns, we were hoping. You don't have to. They're going to move. They're so much fun. And the best part is the news going forward is that last night they beat a team they should have beat, and they beat them badly.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't struggle.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm going to argue that there's two things about this version of the Phoenix Suns that I love to death. Number one. Yeah. Always moving. Constant motion. Hustle and all that. But the effort level, it's something we haven't seen around here in a long time. Now, I've always said effort should be something you expect.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

From a professional athlete, but so often times it's not what you get.

[John Holmberg]

It's got to be.

[Brett Vesley]

And these guys are going for 48 minutes, and it's a pleasure to watch. Plus, this Jordan not guy, he doesn't say a whole lot.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like a Netflix serial killer. The next time I see a picture of the Suns coach, Jordan not, I think it's going to be in a Dateline special. He just looks like, oof, man, he's got bodies.

[Brett Vesley]

He's got keys and he's. He's turning the right ignitions on.

[Brady]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

They're moving. And the fun part about it is they're. They're not going to be an indestructible force in the playoffs. They're going to be a team that. But if they want something, you're going to have to fight them for it.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You might beat them, but they require a fight and that we have not seen for a long time.

[Brett Vesley]

Are you excited to see them with Jalen Green? Bit nervous.

[John Holmberg]

There's your trade deadline. Don't mess around giving anybody away or they're talking about Dylan Brooks getting trouble. You're out of your mind. Don't move a single player and wait for Jalen Green to come back. It's like adding a player.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And he's going to be 22, 23.

[Brett Vesley]

Come in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's always going to be a hiccup, but I think, you know, he's definitely 20 points a night that they don't have that.

[Brett Vesley]

He seems like he's into this team because he's at games.

[John Holmberg]

He's.

[Brett Vesley]

He's high fiving guys, hugging guys. It's again, it reminds me kind of like the team that went to the finals. Yeah, they really like playing with each other and they enjoy being around each other. And that goes a long way in.

[John Holmberg]

The NBA over games. And I wanted to start with the Suns because. There you go. Yeah, there's some fun to talk about. Now before we move on to the Cardinals, I do have one thing I have to say is thank you to Dale for coming to my house on Sunday night when the Steelers played the Ravens. And a again, tickle in my tummy when I say it. Everybody go get me a towel. Brad, at any moment now, I could Vesuvius right through my drawers. Dale brought the Christmas card the Raven sent him this year. Yes, because you used to be one.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

For like an hour. And then you and I love. My favorite part of your career is you flopping the ball all over the field for the Ravens. For a game?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. No, for three.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

But you were bad at being really bad at one.

[John Holmberg]

You destroyed the Ravens season, if I'm not mistaken.

[Brett Vesley]

No, we. We still made the playoffs. We won the game somehow.

[John Holmberg]

But did you do anything in the playoffs?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, we. We won our first game in Miami. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You actually played in the playoffs and didn't screw it up?

[Brett Vesley]

No. When I went down to Miami, it was 72 degrees. My body functioned a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

You were feeling pretty good. Now, when did you. When did you start throwing the ball all over the.

[Brett Vesley]

The first game I played.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the first game.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. That's a Monday night game. Because that's what we do.

[John Holmberg]

Well, now, I take it back. I thought your last game was you flipping the ball.

[Brett Vesley]

No, first game, second game. Game was perfect. Third game was probably a C. Are.

[John Holmberg]

You friends with Ray Lewis, too?

[Brett Vesley]

I will tell you, after that first game, yes. In the bathroom, you know, after a shower or whatever, getting ready. And he came in and very, very supportive. Nice guy.

[John Holmberg]

Do it again and I've killed you. I have killed before.

[Brady]

That was nice support.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. He said. He said, don't hang your head. You're fine. We'll be fine. You're one of us.

[John Holmberg]

And then you looked up at him, he goes, no, never mind. Hang your head. I can't look at that. So he's here. Michael Irvin's here. Yeah. Yeah. Take my soup to the droppings. Did Michael and Troy are here together? Michael and Troy or Michael and Ray? Oh, I'm sure they are. And. And Warren Sapps, probably.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. And so I. So I had texted Michael said, hey, are you out here in God's country? He said, yes, I am. I'll call you in a minute.

[John Holmberg]

Did he?

[Brett Vesley]

Well, that was yesterday at about 4:00'.

[John Holmberg]

Clock. So he's at the Boom Boom.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, he probably is.

[John Holmberg]

Does he know not to drag you along or does he want you to come with?

[Brett Vesley]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't want you with it.

[Brett Vesley]

No, he just knows he's not gonna put me in that position.

[Larry McFeely]

Does he make the offer though? I mean, he's just throw it out.

[Brett Vesley]

There like I told you. Honestly, a lot of us guys had no clue there was a white house. They kept it in their group. And. And.

[John Holmberg]

But he can't say to you, let's have dinner while I'm here.

[Brett Vesley]

He could say, let's have dinner, but is he eating dinner?

[John Holmberg]

I see.

[Brett Vesley]

You know, dinner's a girl's. He's not going to put me in that situation.

[John Holmberg]

He won't go beast mode. Gotta go beast mode with me, Dale. Let's go together. If you text him right now and say, hey, I've got a guy who wants to hang out. He's fun. We want to go stay all night.

[Larry McFeely]

He's not up right now.

[John Holmberg]

All night long. Yeah, but he's not up now. But he will be when he gets the text I got. I don't want to. He's working out right now, so we've got that going on tonight. And who you're picking for tonight's game?

[Brett Vesley]

Hold on. You were about to.

[John Holmberg]

We'll get to the Cardinal. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Because he brought that car or the Ravens card. Well, I was. I thought you'd fumbled the. I thought you were a good Raven for me. Yeah, you tried. I didn't realize that was going on.

[Brett Vesley]

But he sent me a. He sent me a video of him burning my Christmas card.

[John Holmberg]

I burned Christmas.

[Brady]

You left it there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, no, not at that.

[Brett Vesley]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

I burn his family Christmas. Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

He does that.

[John Holmberg]

I burn Christmas cards after they're done.

[Brett Vesley]

Whose face was the last one fighting to stay?

[John Holmberg]

It was the hardest one to burn. Your whole family went up like they were made of gasoline.

[Brady]

That wasn't on a separate card.

[John Holmberg]

It should have been. It was an Easter. It was a F. That was. Yeah. So then Dale brings the card of the Ravens team photo to my house for the game Sunday. And we sacrificed it.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it burned. Weird. It's still in a square.

[Brett Vesley]

Is it really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's really strange. And I think that you helped that kick go right. Either way. Thrilled that that happened. So who do you have? Miami or Ole Miss?

[Brett Vesley]

Quick, I. I am cheering like crazy for old Miss.

[John Holmberg]

Are you really?

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's your friend Michael.

[Brett Vesley]

I just can't imagine these guys. Guys. Senior coach go. Hey, I have a better chance to win the national championships at lsu. And yet you're two games away from winning one here. Yeah, screw him.

[John Holmberg]

A little more impressive to win it at Ole Miss too.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And now we get into the. The meat and taters.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Of what's going on.

[Brett Vesley]

Do you realize that 25% of NFL teams now are without an echo?

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that crazy? They're firing everybody. Like crazy after two or three years. Michael, Mike McDaniel just got fired by the Dolphins. The Cardinals.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Who's their next head coach?

[John Holmberg]

Who, who, who do they. They're going to interview Matt Nagy.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brett Vesley]

Yes, that, that just. You need another bald guys down the.

[John Holmberg]

Side, you know, we don't need any more bald. I've got it covered.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What in the world are they thinking? Vance Joseph, Matt Nagy. They just will not admit they're a bad franchise that needs someone to come and take over.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, that's. And that's the thing. It's one of those things to me, me. You're either gonna hire Robert Salah from San Francisco because. Well, you never know. You never know.

[John Holmberg]

He was the jets coach. He's been through this. You know.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, that. That is something you have against you because you. You are lumped in with Browns, Jets.

[John Holmberg]

The Cardinals are the jets again.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And his. There's no way Robert Salas agent is going to be like, take that if.

[Brett Vesley]

He has other offers. No. Unless they blow it out of the water.

[John Holmberg]

No way.

[Brett Vesley]

Or I would say, hey, one time, Michael, take a stab at something. Throw a lot of money at Harbaugh, see if he bites.

[John Holmberg]

No way.

[Brett Vesley]

And I don't think he will.

[John Holmberg]

No way.

[Brett Vesley]

But at least try no. And say you can have run of everything. Because guess what? The way we've done it now for the last years hasn't worked.

[John Holmberg]

They have to admit they're the issue and they have to let go. Harbaugh will not come here. He's got pick of the litter.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, I know he does. They're firing coaches now to get him.

[John Holmberg]

Playoff teams that if, if the Bills don't get through the playoffs in an impressive fashion, McDermott's probably out. And if I'm Harbaugh, I'm waiting to get Josh Allen or you get a quarterback. He, The Giants is the job he should take. The Cardinals are so delusional to believe that any of these high end candidates want to come here. And you know what I said? I've said Jon Gruden, top to bottom. John Gruden, your answer. Second on my list. I didn't think of this until. Yes, Mike McCarthy wins, wins, wins. He's got the same resume as John Harbaugh. Yeah, same one. Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

But he's older than Harbaugh.

[John Holmberg]

I believe he was 104 when he took over the Bills and he's still alive.

[Brett Vesley]

I think that if you look at it that Harbaugh's either. You're right. If the Bills fire McDermott on Monday.

[John Holmberg]

That'S the one I'm taking.

[Brett Vesley]

Right. Going there. But he, he's a, he's an east coast guy. He's a Giants guy. They got a few more pieces and.

[John Holmberg]

Giants is a great job.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. But because the thing, the thing about the Cardinals, not only do they have their history laying in front of you, but they also got three other teams in this division that all are double digit win.

[John Holmberg]

They're going to kick your ass for a few years. Yes.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Guest]

Yep.

[Brett Vesley]

And that. And you, you look at that stuff and then what are you going to do with the quarterback position if you're.

[John Holmberg]

Harbaugh, don't you just sit back and wait till the end of the playoffs and drive the market?

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, I'm gonna be very patient.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, super patient.

[Brett Vesley]

Be very patient.

[John Holmberg]

And the Raiders are going to throw a ton of money at him because. And that was what the NFL would love to have. Raiders, Chargers, twice a year. Harbaugh. And I would too. Because there's a better chance that terrorists are in the area for that state. It's a one hit shop there to get rid of all the harbor and then. Yeah. Or like, you know, an accident or a volcano or something terrible like God's wrath. I'm not sure. Oh, something terrible. And it would have to happen in Vegas, which is unfortunate because the Rams don't deserve that. So you can't tear their stadium down.

[Brett Vesley]

No, not that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So I would like to See that happen. Now, that's just my wishes.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But the Cardinals are going to end up with something stupid. Do you see them make. Do you see them doing what we talk about, which is finally getting over their delusion of being valuable to a coach?

[Brett Vesley]

No, I don't see them. But again, we, I think over the history of professional sports, you've seen owners decide, hey, I've had enough of this. And, and I'm putting my flag in the ground. I'm going to. I'm throwing everything I got at a guy. And is Michael Bidwell willing to do that? History says no.

[John Holmberg]

No. Do you like my Gruden idea?

[Brett Vesley]

You brought that up the other day and gosh, he would. It would be perfect.

[John Holmberg]

It's perfect. Even if it doesn't go well on the field. You've revamped how the thinking goes.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And you're going to players in and don't.

[Brett Vesley]

And don't think his stuff with the NFL and suing them and all that.

[John Holmberg]

Double motivation.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. It doesn't have anything to do with it.

[John Holmberg]

People will hate hearing this, but it reminds me of the Buddy Ryan hire. And people forget the first year Buddy was here, they were 8 and 8 and going the right direction. Buddy had a problem with the press because the press told him, yeah, sure, your defenses was like the number two defense in football overnight. You got Seth Joyner, Clyde Simmons, Terry Hogue came here. That 94 team was like, Eric Hill was on the other side. They drafted Thrill Hill. They had, they had some play players and they said, yeah, but you can't coach offense. And he cut the entire offense.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And traded Hill to Miami because he's like, I'll show you. I'll build an offense. And the next year they were a disaster.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, he called Steve Berline a cancer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. He was a mess. It was a disaster.

[Brett Vesley]

He didn't have Randall cutting.

[John Holmberg]

No. He had Kent Graham. All of a sudden he's working with Jim McMahon again. Like, what is going on? He was bad, but it reminded me of that hire going, this Bidwell thing is secondary. I'm the second star. Guden would do that exact same thing, only he's more capable and qualified.

[Brett Vesley]

That's what, that's what I was going to say. I, I, I, I think that as far as running a program, he's more capable of doing that than Buddy ryan was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 100%. So. I love that one.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Mike McCarthy's my two. Everything after that is a crap.

[Brady]

Pete Carroll, three.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's 83. You got to get rid of Pete Carol, let Pete Carroll go work in tv.

[Brett Vesley]

If Tomlin. If Pittsburgh loses money night.

[John Holmberg]

There's a chance. Depends on the embarrassment of if they get drubbed at home.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

In the playoffs. There's a chance.

[Brady]

How do you, how would you feel?

[John Holmberg]

It depends on the loss. Like if it's.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. If it was a drubbing.

[John Holmberg]

If it's like 48 to 10 and they look every bit of that. Yeah, there's a chance.

[Brady]

You just clean house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's a chance.

[Larry McFeely]

You're okay with that on the. Based on the one game or.

[John Holmberg]

It's not just one game. That's. That's a lot of time of not, not getting over in the playoffs. They fired Harbaugh because they had the number one seed twice. They got a two time, almost three time MVP at quarterback and they didn't get over the hump. So it's like we got to make a change. I think Mike's got one year left on his deal, so I would be surprised if they did it. But if he loses badly, right. People will be like, all right, it's time.

[Brett Vesley]

You can go to TV for a year.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he can go anywhere he wants.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He could he again pick a litter.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's his choice after that. It's interesting. But.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, so.

[John Holmberg]

But they're not going to lose because.

[Brady]

They will have to wait on what Rogers decides to do or 23 and.

[John Holmberg]

0 on Monday night home games.

[Brett Vesley]

Pittsburgh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In the last 23 Monday night home games, they are. Wow. Undefeated.

[Brett Vesley]

You got to like that. Except for.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't hurt.

[Brett Vesley]

Every streak has to end.

[John Holmberg]

They're due. What I see is two sides. I'm like, well, they're. They're invincible.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they're due at some point.

[Brett Vesley]

Even UCLA's basketball team finally lost. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And it's scary, but it's a hell of a run and I, I like it. So I like the odds of where it's sitting and how it's happening, plus their motivation to keep going. And Aaron Rodgers has proven he's pretty clutch.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes. So have you looked at the weather? What's it going to be like Monday night?

[John Holmberg]

Probably not. Nice.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Which is fine. I don't care. I just. They're in it and the Ravens are out.

[Brett Vesley]

Just make sure you have all your.

[John Holmberg]

Fires going at your fires going.

[Brett Vesley]

You look at the TV and you go, that's football. That's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We have a beautiful situation. Be 70 degrees Monday here that's all I care about. And the Ravens are also at a bar watching too. And that is. Oh, that is. My balls just got a little bit of.

[Brett Vesley]

A little tingle.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of tingle. A lot. Even went right up into the B hole. Everything was fantastic. Yeah, that was a good one. Wow. That was that. Hey, I didn't know you were a. Anyway, it's good stuff. So I'm excited. We're gonna make our. Our football picks here.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Just a little bit. Are you excited about that? The college and the pros.

[Brett Vesley]

So who are the cows Cowboys got this week.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and that's the thing. You and Brady can commiserate over your teams sucking. Here's my. And I've made this prediction. I don't know if it'll be next year, but soon Joe Burrow will be a Pittsburgh Steeler. That's going to happen.

[Brett Vesley]

You think?

[John Holmberg]

I think that's going to happen.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, I think he's. I think he's going to start going the way that Carlson Palmer did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's going to tell the Bengals I quit or trade me, Right? Yeah. He's not happy there and it's awesome. There's another. Ooh, that was my B hole again. I got tangled again. Thinking of the Bengals becoming the Bengals all over.

[Brett Vesley]

What happens if we Rogers wins a playoff game or so and Said decides I want to come back?

[John Holmberg]

You keep him around unless Joe Burrow starts becoming available and then you throw all the stuff at that and get rid of Aaron. It's a business. The players reminder of that all the time.

[Brett Vesley]

Were you a little bummed at how long that your boy Watt stayed out for?

[John Holmberg]

Just a little punctured. Punctured collapse.

[Brett Vesley]

It's a little poke.

[John Holmberg]

It's a collapsed lung. See, we're late. This is your fault we're late. That's it. Yeah, that's it. New year, same results. That's exactly it. D here brought to you by our friends@diamond coatings a dot com. We'll do some football picks with Dale next. Get something something. Check out H's Morning Sickness podcast at.

[Brett Vesley]

98Kupd.Com Hberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

See, this is where it's fun. And we only have a few more weeks of this with football gambling and we're all sitting in here making our picks and doing our thing.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, a couple of the lines were a little bit when. When Brady said the Carolina was getting.

[John Holmberg]

16 and a half. It's like, hold on, it's settling at 10 and a half. But that's still an awful lot to get a team for the playoffs.

[Brett Vesley]

At home.

[John Holmberg]

At home. And you already beat this team once. Well, can you do it twice? That's a big question, but we'll see. Football playoffs are so much fun. But have you ever seen Book of Mormon, Dale?

[Brett Vesley]

I have not. Oh, I heard you talking about this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Get him to it.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, where's this damage?

[John Holmberg]

Down in Tempe. Oh, get your ass over.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm going tonight. I've never seen it before, the Book of Mormon.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, it's brilliant.

[Brady]

I've gone Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Brilliant.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay. And do you think it's as great as Johnny?

[Brady]

It's hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

Brilliant.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Get your ass over. Don't take your wife, though. There's a lot of cussing.

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, you. Well, actually, she's getting better. We're watching Landman now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, I.

[John Holmberg]

Little Billy Bob thing.

[Brady]

Big step, right?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, it is a big step.

[John Holmberg]

She likes when I talk to her through the television, doesn't she? How you doing there? This is hella straight.

[Brett Vesley]

She said, you know what? The language doesn't seem to be. It's. It just is in the conversation. It's not like a comedian throwing out.

[John Holmberg]

An F bomb, feeling like they're going out of their way. Yeah, yeah. She just doesn't like cussing.

[Brett Vesley]

Right. I mean, just for no reason, cussing like you do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Or you. Yeah, you hide from her. Let's not get into that. You're the. You're as bad, if not worse than me. Oh, does she know that?

[Brett Vesley]

You're horrible.

[Brady]

I've never heard Dale Cass.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I've never heard him not. Some of the words are just. He muddles words and then cusses and muddles and cusses. My God.

[Brett Vesley]

Hold on. Now you're out in Mormon country. Is it something that the Mormons like or.

[John Holmberg]

No, they get it.

[Brady]

Mostly they get it. The ones that aren't so Mormon. Like Jack Mormon.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Enjoy it even more.

[John Holmberg]

It's not mean. It's. It's honest.

[Brady]

It's done in a living, loving way. In a way.

[Brett Vesley]

Sort of.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's definitely a kick in the nuts. But it's like. This is what you guys believe. We're just having fun with it.

[Brett Vesley]

I was gonna say. I just don't know how you can make that funny. So maybe I would go. Go see it.

[John Holmberg]

Because I'll tell you off the air how they make it funny.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And it'll sell tickets, I guarantee it. Because it's a blast. By the way, Dale is also the co host of the. The Sports Emporium. No, no, we'll get to that in a second. The main event with Steve McCollum who I met and he seems like he's a very nice guy.

[Brett Vesley]

Fellow doll. And I think. I think there's something in the water over there because everybody I've met from.

[John Holmberg]

Dog bald, we've all lost our hair. Yeah. Very strange.

[Brett Vesley]

Did you go to Dawson Brie?

[Brady]

I did not.

[John Holmberg]

He's been close though. I can see the Chernobyl of high schools. But yeah, so I met here at the main event. Tmesports.com you'll go to any of your Watchman jiggers.

[Brett Vesley]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

You can get that.

[Brett Vesley]

YouTubes and whatever you can find it.

[John Holmberg]

The tubes and the years and the face. The face pokes and all that. And also that sports show with a John Holmberg podcast. Dale AKA occasionally chimes in on that.

[Brett Vesley]

It's wet from John. It's been from John being a co host. No, a guest host. Star to co host to the host to. Now it's John Holmberg.

[John Holmberg]

More just executive producer, showrunner and star. Sort of the Byron Allen of the whole deal. And then Dave Nash is on there and he's getting really annoyed at the fact that he. He doesn't talk much and then gets mad when other people do.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah, he knows he's up against it when he's in there with you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's done, but it's fun, so you can check that out as well. All right, let's get right to it. Our football picks for the week. We've got the packers and Brett's Bears. Brett, I'm going to let you choose this one in our parlay. The packers are one and a half point favorites in Chicago.

[Larry McFeely]

Going with the Bears.

[John Holmberg]

You're going with the Bears. Straight up Bears to win it all. No points.

[Larry McFeely]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Let me undo this stuff here because I'm going to redo the whole 16. We're doing a sixer parlay on Fanduel for this and it's going to be awesome. All right, you're going straight Bears.

[Larry McFeely]

Straight Bears.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, I'm going to let you because you don't have a team in the hunt. Panthers are getting ten and a half at home against the Rams.

[Brady]

I'm going to take the Panthers and the points.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, absolutely. Plus 10. In a playoff game, anything can go wrong.

[Brett Vesley]

Boy, Brady, if you went them just straight up else would go at up.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't get him to win. But Matthew Stafford could bonk his hand on a helmet and everything changed, changes. Ten and a half's an awful lot to give in a playoff game, Dale.

[Larry McFeely]

You used to be points again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, we can do that. That's. But ten and a half you're pushing around.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The Bills are going to Jacksonville. Nobody's talking about the Jags. They're also one and a half point favorites. Dale, who you got there?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. The way that Jacksonville's played of late and Trevor Lawrence. I mean, it's like you don't even recognize him other than the long hair. Hair and pretty face.

[John Holmberg]

And pretty face like Mr. Red and Beautiful eyes. What are you doing when you watch Jags game? It's Jags. It rhymes with what I'm thinking.

[Brett Vesley]

And I think that the Bills are probably on their last leg. Although this is the one year where they wouldn't have to beat the Kansas City Chiefs or the Ravens or the Ravens or the Bengals and. But I going down to Jacksonville at.

[John Holmberg]

Again.

[Brett Vesley]

The NFL is made for change, to change things up. He's down. He's there for one year.

[John Holmberg]

Christ's sake, Pickett. I'm going with the Jags.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm going with the Jags.

[John Holmberg]

Going Jags. Straight up.

[Brett Vesley]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Brady Eagles are at home against the Niners and they're given four and a half to San Francisco.

[Brady]

I. I gotta go with the Eagles straight up.

[Brett Vesley]

I gotta get the points, right?

[John Holmberg]

You're giving points to the Niners on that one.

[Brady]

I'll go with the points on Eagles.

[John Holmberg]

You're giving up four and a half points. Yeah.

[Brady]

Let's just go straight out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for Christ's sake. These guys. All right, Brad, I'm going to go back to you because you're decisive. Male Chargers in New England Patriots, three and a half points. Patriots are favorite. Patriots going Patriots. Straight up.

[Brady]

Straight up.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And then I'll take it for the end.

[Brett Vesley]

Boys, Monday night. You got to wait the whole weekend.

[John Holmberg]

I can just watch that Raven Steelers game 22. Seven full days of getting your nuts tickled that the Ravens are out. I don't care what happens. Steelers are getting three at home 23. And oh at home Monday night games since the 90s.

[Brett Vesley]

NFL did them a nice solid by making them huge.

[John Holmberg]

I'm taking plus three on my Steelers right there. Our bet, boys, is a plus 29, 23. That's 3,000 bucks in my hands if this thing goes. And will I share it with you? I'll have to decide after.

[Brett Vesley]

We'll see.

[John Holmberg]

But I'll put the 100 bucks on it. And off we go. Well done, gentlemen. Let's hope that thing goes.

[Brett Vesley]

3,000.

[John Holmberg]

$3,000 on a six leg parlay and then it has the nerve to ask me as I hit the button, do you. Are you enjoying FanDuel?

[Brett Vesley]

Well, we'll see.

[John Holmberg]

I'll let you know. We'll see about that on Monday.

[Brett Vesley]

About 10 o'.

[John Holmberg]

Clock. Right now? No, but maybe in a little bit. We'll see.

[Larry McFeely]

Right now we still have one good win though.

[John Holmberg]

We had a nice. We had a nice win this year. I think we. I didn't make up for all the money put in, but I. I came out pretty even on that.

[Brett Vesley]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

You still owe us for the big F up that one week. You can't even figure out apple pay. That's right, buddy.

[Brett Vesley]

I owe you $33.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, all of us get 33 from you eventually. Once you get one of your kids.

[Brett Vesley]

To tell you how well you guys can do it for me.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe when you're in one of your mother daughter talks, you can get one of them to explain to you how the phone works.

[Brett Vesley]

There are some interesting lines this week though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there are.

[Brett Vesley]

Seriously, how's Carolina?

[John Holmberg]

10 and half @ home. They've already beaten the Rams once and I think they're taking that into account. I don't know. We'll.

[Brett Vesley]

See. Football starts well, what watches get off the air and the quarterbacks.

[John Holmberg]

Out. We have the right to change that. We can move it, don't you.

[Larry McFeely]

Worry. Subject to.

[John Holmberg]

Change. Yeah, it is tough. Make your prediction. Who do the Cardinals.

[Brett Vesley]

Hire? I would think that probably Robert Salah would. The guy that they would settle on right there. I don't think he's going to command. He'll take $8 million a year. Yeah, I think he'll be better than he was at the Jets. A lot of times you get that first job, you learn things and plus I think the Cardinals, as hard as for me to say this, are a little bit better run than the Jets. I think the jets are the worst run.

[John Holmberg]

Organization. They're pretty bad in the national football. But here's the thing. If you're being compared to jets owners ownership and people are like maybe, yeah, you're.

[Brett Vesley]

Bad. But John, remember we talked about this in August. Yeah, we were high on the Cardinals. Yeah, we were high on the.

[John Holmberg]

Cardinals. And then midway through you said that thing. Yes, which we can't have nice things. No, it can't happen here in the Valley. It's just something dumb happens to all those locals. I don't Care about the Cardinals winning and losing. I like when the city is.

[Brett Vesley]

Happy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's just not going to.

[Brett Vesley]

Be. Although we. We got our sons.

[John Holmberg]

Johnny. No.

[Brett Vesley]

That'S. We got.

[John Holmberg]

Ourselves. We're just happy with them not.

[Brett Vesley]

Sucking.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. They're not.

[Brett Vesley]

Great. Well, I got. I got them over under 30, one and a.

[John Holmberg]

Half. Oh, you're gonna win.

[Brett Vesley]

That. But.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T. Don't you got. It's January. They've got 23 wins, 22 wins. You're fine. Walk in the park. They'd have to go eight. And the rest of them, bookers.

[Brett Vesley]

Out. They decide to trade Dylan.

[John Holmberg]

Brooks. Well, they do that. That's how I do it. Then we'd win 10 or 12 more games for sure. If I'm running point, have him in hysterics, you be hurt more than.

[Brett Vesley]

You know what to do.

[John Holmberg]

With. I already am thinking about it. All right, well, there you go. The football picks are in, and we'll post them up there. This is a good. This is a good parlay. I like what we did here. You two were a little indecisive. Like trying to get a woman to tell you where she wants to have dinner. Brett, I appreciate you knocking her out. Pretty good stuff.

[Brady]

But. Wait. Okay, we're.

[John Holmberg]

In. Would you really. If in your single days a mother and daughter were interested in you, you'd go in there at the same.

[Brett Vesley]

Time? No, no, I just said they were.

[John Holmberg]

Both. I'm not talking about that. I'm saying, let's go back to Dale. Single swinging.

[Brett Vesley]

Days.

[John Holmberg]

And. And a daughter's like, mom's hot and she's.

[Brett Vesley]

In. That was 40 years.

[John Holmberg]

Ago. Okay, let's talk about 40 years ago. Look, I didn't say. Do you remember a time I said. Would you mentally say that's a good.

[Brett Vesley]

Idea? No, I think I. I would think it'd be.

[John Holmberg]

Weird. It's.

[Brett Vesley]

Disgusting. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Weird. It is disgusting.

[Brett Vesley]

John. I. I just don't understand where you decide that's disgusting. But.

[John Holmberg]

Watching. I can explain.

[Brett Vesley]

It. But watching pimple poppers.

[John Holmberg]

Is. How are you comparing those two.

[Brett Vesley]

Things? I'm just saying disgusting is.

[John Holmberg]

Disgusting. I'll tell you. Let me give you a sentence that will make you go, oh, John's right. There's the girl and her daughter again. That. That. Brett Brady found.

[Brett Vesley]

This.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. First of all. And he started. And he shot it to.

[Brady]

Me. I'd go, grandmother, mother.

[John Holmberg]

Daughter. Yeah. See, here's what. Here's where. Here's where I'm going to tell.

[Larry McFeely]

You. Big pimping over.

[John Holmberg]

Here. Both of Them in the room together, nude, self lubricated. Shouldn't ever.

[Brett Vesley]

Happen. No, I'm 100% with.

[John Holmberg]

You. What about.

[Brett Vesley]

Twins? Same thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's incest. Yeah. Yeah. Would you and your brother ever tag team one of those ladies in.

[Brett Vesley]

The.

[John Holmberg]

No. He's so uncomfortable. This is fun for.

[Brett Vesley]

Me. Would you have.

[John Holmberg]

Brett? Brett's not my brother. No, I'm. I have.

[Brett Vesley]

A. You don't have a.

[John Holmberg]

Brother. I have a. One erection.

[Larry McFeely]

Per. One crank.

[John Holmberg]

Room. One. One erection per. Like, if you got one right now and like, I gotta go, you'd know. Oh, he's got one, too. One erection per room.

[Brett Vesley]

Rule. That's your.

[John Holmberg]

Rule. That is a huge rule for.

[Brett Vesley]

Me. Yeah. How about when the Steelers win, there's more than one.

[John Holmberg]

Erection. Ah, that's different, man. That's. That's heavenly. That's.

[Brett Vesley]

Different. So I, I, I did. I asked you on Sunday night because I walked in to your get together and there was. It was noticeable, noticeably. Scant of.

[John Holmberg]

People. Go ahead, make your racist.

[Brett Vesley]

Comment. No, I just, I, I just wanted, you know, you win your scoop up of finding people.

[John Holmberg]

You. Dale said when he came in.

[Brett Vesley]

Did ICE come and scoop up half.

[John Holmberg]

The fans because a couple of the Mexican guys that are normally. They're not there. Don't pussy around if you're gonna bring it.

[Larry McFeely]

Up. That's.

[Brett Vesley]

Funny.

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't know. J.D. could have been scooped up. There's a chance. Look, if I was an ICE agent, I'd look at J.D. quinones and I'd be like, he's got to come with me. Maybe. I don't know. Jose was there. Joe was there. Pretty safe that I still a Jose there. Yeah, there's a Jose and, and we call him Joe, but that's another.

[Brett Vesley]

One. Yeah, it's.

[John Holmberg]

Jose. A couple of Joses in there. It's all right. Phil Avila. We have some.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. But no, hopefully this Monday it'll be stacked up.

[John Holmberg]

Again. All right. Yeah. Like.

[Brett Vesley]

It.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the Ravens are getting turned.

[Brett Vesley]

Turmoil. Yeah. We talked about it on. On podcast that we did. The fact that you went in in the span of about five minutes. Real time. Yeah. Went from absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Devastated. Can't imagine.

[Brett Vesley]

It. Absolutely devastated. Missing that extra point to then pooping your pants for about four and a half minutes to then.

[Brady]

Ecstatic.

[John Holmberg]

Elated. A text to.

[Brett Vesley]

Someone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That actually, I will read it.

[Brett Vesley]

Back. Okay. Because I just imagine you sitting there, first of all, you guys throwing stuff at the TV after the miss extra point. Because Boswell doesn't miss extra.

[John Holmberg]

Points. Well, it Got blocked. The NFL redid it to a block, so it's now considered like it got tipped. That's why it turned.

[Brett Vesley]

Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Right. This says. I actually wrote this to a friend who's a Steelers fan. I said, I cannot deal with this anymore. And I'm saying goodbye to my Steeler friends. I've enjoyed our brief time to together. I'm having a massive heart.

[Brett Vesley]

Attack. Was this right.

[John Holmberg]

After. No, this was just after the Ravens caught that. Isaiah likely caught that miracle 4th and 7 and got a text back says, I can't be a Steeler fan anymore either. This is crazy. And that was a synopsis.

[Brady]

Of. Was that from Brad.

[John Holmberg]

Show. There's about 15 different people that I shared.

[Brett Vesley]

Similar. Me, Joe Green. Yeah, me.

[John Holmberg]

And. Me and Joe were riding brutal. But it's. It's the life of it. Yeah. It's so worth it in the.

[Brett Vesley]

End. Look at.

[John Holmberg]

That. Look at how many people have a heart on. Because I might have to leave. That might be two per word. I'm Stoneheart and.

[Brady]

Dale. You have to go there.

[John Holmberg]

Monday. Oh, you should probably come. Yeah. You're more than welcome. He's. He's been. We boo him when he comes.

[Brett Vesley]

In. The whole.

[John Holmberg]

Crew. It's pretty.

[Larry McFeely]

Great. The Steelers lost with him there.

[Brett Vesley]

Though. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. One time we were up 17 nothing and he left and we lost that.

[Brady]

Game.

[Brett Vesley]

Game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, we blame him.

[Brett Vesley]

Now. You have.

[Larry McFeely]

To. Otherwise you're the.

[John Holmberg]

Mush. If he show.

[Larry McFeely]

Up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Do the entertainment drill next. It's.

[Brady]

98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool.

[John Holmberg]

Actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of.

[Brett Vesley]

This. Morning.

[John Holmberg]

Sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just. Bit rude. It's a thing. There are lines. Don't. Don't you start scenarioing with me.

[Brett Vesley]

D. Everybody has a.

[John Holmberg]

Line. There's a line. Everybody starts in with the but what.

[Brett Vesley]

Ifs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And someone said, what if your sister was lesing up with Dua Lipa? Would you join in if asked? And I said, I don't think. I think they may have found the line. And then, Dale, I added five days to my time with dua, which means it's cream pies for the family. I'm Little.

[Brett Vesley]

Debbie. All righty.

[John Holmberg]

Then. All right, well, don't ask the question. People.

[Brett Vesley]

Always. You might as well put cameras in here.

[John Holmberg]

John. But, but, but don't ask the question if you don't want me to answer.

[Brett Vesley]

It? Yeah, I did. Off the.

[John Holmberg]

Air. Oh, well, I'm sorry, but you weren't the. But Henry isn't. He's a listener. He's the one who posed the.

[Brett Vesley]

Initial and you said absolutely.

[Larry McFeely]

No.

[Brett Vesley]

You. That. That perked your interest a little.

[John Holmberg]

Bit. Oh, yeah. Well, I was like, ooh, maybe. And then I couldn't possibly. Yeah. I told you the thing about the glory hole with my dad. If it was on the other side, whatever comes through that hole, you have to manually stimulate, and then you'll be with me. Okay. And then at the. On the other side, I'm like, I just hear my dad through that wall going, I knew he was gay. And they'd be like, hey, Dan, how are you? I was like, yeah, that was not bad. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing it for.

[Brett Vesley]

Years. John, you have such soft.

[John Holmberg]

Hands. Yeah, I do. I do, actually. I make sure of that. Anyway, don't ask if you don't want answers. And certainly when I answer, you don't do.

[Brady]

The. It's just curious about finding the.

[Brett Vesley]

Limit.

[Brady]

What. What is the.

[Brett Vesley]

Line?

[Brady]

Yeah. What is the.

[Brett Vesley]

Threshold? Because you acted so.

[John Holmberg]

Disgusting. Mother and daughter combinations are.

[Brett Vesley]

Disgusting. Sister and do are not.

[John Holmberg]

Disgusting. And. Yeah, and it is disgusting unless you give me a full fortnight with Dua Lipa and.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm. Well, he gave you a week with.

[Brady]

Her. I.

[John Holmberg]

Know. I got half of them here. Seven.

[Brett Vesley]

Days. Five.

[John Holmberg]

Days. But after five days, she's.

[Brett Vesley]

Gonna. Yeah, I mean, you're gonna be all exhausted.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway. Plus by then she's gonna have a hard time getting out of the well. I've.

[Brady]

Dug. Make it.

[Larry McFeely]

Tough. What's the.

[John Holmberg]

Notion?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That'd be a full on jame gum going there. It's time for Brady to entertain us. We're very late. Brady, this is your fault. Entertain.

[Brady]

Me. Matthew McConaughey says he can't smoke pot with Woody Harrelson.

[John Holmberg]

Anymore. It's too.

[Brady]

Much. Says the stuff. Yeah. Doesn't agree with his constitution and mental.

[John Holmberg]

Makeup. Adam Ray said he smoked with Woody Harrelson when he was here on New Year's Eve. And he said it's just not. It's not to the next level. Human. It's not a.

[Brett Vesley]

Thing.

[Brady]

Yeah. Matt Damon achieved what a lot of people would dream of. He did. Did the. His most recent movie at his high school. Weight of 167 pounds. He said he trolled around 185 and 200 normally. And they said the biggest thing that he credits to success was giving up.

[John Holmberg]

Gluten. I'm not doing.

[Brady]

That. He goes, I found gluten beer. It's been so long since I've had gluten, I can't tell you if it's good or.

[John Holmberg]

Not. I don't know what it is, but I know I like it. I'm.

[Brady]

Positive. Gluten Appetizer was the movie that.

[John Holmberg]

He'S. It's too hard to go. No gluten. Yeah, there's gluten in everything. Then you become one of those weirdos that's, like, at restaurants going into, like, the gluten.

[Brett Vesley]

Free. Well, you know, Nash should tell you that in underdeveloped countries, there's no.

[John Holmberg]

Gluten. There's no gluten allergies, there's no dairy allergies. They just. They're hungry.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. What was your high school weight.

[Brady]

Brady? 167 in the summer. I wrestled at.

[Brett Vesley]

48.

[Brady]

148? Yeah. And I'd go, what year? Basically from sophomore year to Senior. Your year. 30. I do 30 to 35 pounds a.

[John Holmberg]

Year. Wow. Oh, you'd lose it. Oh, so you were not naturally doing that. That is not your. That was not your high school weight. That was your wrestling.

[Brady]

Weight. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That. Your high school weight was, like.

[Brady]

180. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

175.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay. And what are you right.

[Brady]

Now?

[Brett Vesley]

235.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Do you want to wrestle.

[Brett Vesley]

Him? Do I want to wrestle.

[John Holmberg]

Him? Yeah. I didn't know why you're.

[Brett Vesley]

Asking. No, he's got. He's. No, he's. He's missing a kidney. I mean, I don't want to take advantage of.

[John Holmberg]

That. So you're missing. You're missing plenty of stuff. Cognitive resources, and you guys would be an even.

[Brady]

Match. Dale picked out his.

[Brett Vesley]

Story.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Go ahead. Make it snappy.

[Brett Vesley]

Dale. Where do we gotta.

[John Holmberg]

Go? We're late. Larry's up now. We're running way long. I want to go.

[Brett Vesley]

Home. Sarah Michelle Geller would like to know what the new Buffy show, which is called Buffy New Sunnydale, is not a sequel or reboot. It's a.

[John Holmberg]

Continuation. Of.

[Brett Vesley]

What? What's the difference? It's not a read, but with a. That's why the name was even important to me. Buffy. The New Son and Dale. It's Buffy, but it's also something.

[John Holmberg]

Else. You have no idea what you're.

[Brett Vesley]

Talking. I have no idea. I've never seen.

[John Holmberg]

It. You don't know who Sarah Michelle Geller.

[Brett Vesley]

Is? I. If you show me a picture, maybe, but I don't.

[Brady]

I. Come.

[Brett Vesley]

On. Tell me you have not seen one of these.

[John Holmberg]

Movies. Well, I've seen Buffy the Vampire. She was in the tv. TV show.

[Brett Vesley]

Buffy. Why would you watch the TV.

[John Holmberg]

Show? Michelle Geller was pretty good looking at the time. She started her career in a children's soap opera called Swan's Crossing. I used to.

[Larry McFeely]

Be. There you.

[Brady]

Go. That's.

[John Holmberg]

Buffy. Swan's Crossing was in the.

[Brett Vesley]

80S. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, she's pretty. Swan's Crossing was in the late 80s, early 90s. And I used to watch Swan's Crossing because the girls on that were really hot and I was about the same age, little.

[Brett Vesley]

Younger. You were doing that just to try and prove to your dad you weren't gay? My.

[John Holmberg]

Dad. My dad would have thought I was gay for watching a.

[Brady]

Soap. She's married to Freddie Prince Jr. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. No idea who that is. No, that.

[Brett Vesley]

Test. I. I live a real life, Johnny. I don't know Buffy the.

[John Holmberg]

Vampire. Vampire Slayer. You don't. Huge. You're familiar with it though.

[Brett Vesley]

Right? I've heard of.

[John Holmberg]

Vampire.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Christy Swanson was the. Was Buffy in the movie. Sarah Michelle Geller was Buffy in the.

[Brett Vesley]

Show. Good old.

[John Holmberg]

Christie. Christy Swanson's beautiful. You don't know.

[Brett Vesley]

Her?

[John Holmberg]

No. Oh, Dale, you had like. What was the name of that. The football movie she was in, man. James Kahn was Coach and the Coach.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. It wasn't Brian's.

[John Holmberg]

Song. No, no, that was. That's the one you remember. Damn it. But she was in. Christy Swanson was gorgeous. Oh.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. She looks.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty. Wow.

[Brett Vesley]

Anyway. Anyway, way too much time.

[John Holmberg]

On. Exactly. No, Never enough Swans Crossing. I'll give you if we started to go down that road. Swan's Crossing was where I first met Sarah Michelle Geller and said, this little angel's going places every day at 2:30 on channel 45. Oh, pause. No, I probably tried it, but there wasn't enough. There's too many other things to pause and toss to her teenage. So, anyway, that's enough of you. Dale. Dale. Hellustray's leaving. We're done with him and we're out. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a glorious Thursday and we'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning. Sickness.

[Brady]

Solo. It's not weird. It's pretty cool.

[John Holmberg]

Actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of.