Holmberg's Morning Sickness — 01-08-26

Fiesta Bowl, Book of Mormon, and The Bravest Man in Pakistan

Episode Overview

This episode dives into three major topics: the arrival of Ole Miss and Miami fans for the Fiesta Bowl in Arizona, the excitement (and inside jokes) around seeing "The Book of Mormon" musical on its return to town, and the jaw-dropping story of a man attempting to open a gay bar in Abbottabad, Pakistan. In true HMS style, hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo riff with irreverence, wit, and their signature blend of dark, observational humor.

Key Topics & Segment Timestamps

1. Fiesta Bowl in Town

[00:40 – 07:32]

• Arizona Hosts Ole Miss & Miami:

  • Discussion kicks off with the irony of teams from Mississippi needing to “leave for better weather” only to be met with Arizona rain.
  • The hosts joke about southern college culture and fans:

    "Mississippi has to leave because they're in Mississippi." — John Holmberg [00:57]

  • Quick takes on the game and travel inconveniences for out-of-state visitors.

• Student Body & Parties:

  • Ole Miss is described as having an “unbelievable campus—just model after model.”
  • Miami’s legendary football and party vibe comes up, with half-serious warnings about chaos if some of their infamous figures show up.

• Warren Sapp Story:

  • The crew tells a notorious Warren Sapp anecdote involving hotel parties and sex workers during the Super Bowl in Phoenix:

    "If Warren Sapp tells me to leave, even if I'm a prostitute or a best friend...I'm walking out." — John Holmberg [03:18]

  • They riff about the “rules” of hiring sex workers:

    "You don't pay for sex—you pay for them to go away after." — John Holmberg [05:00]

• Predictions & Fan Partiality:

  • Brett and Brady reveal their preferences: Miami has the edge, but there are mixed feelings due to past defeats.

  "If you lose to a team and they move on and win it all, you lost to the best one." — John Holmberg [06:34]

2. Book of Mormon Returns to Town

[07:34 – 18:21]

• Brett’s First Time at the Musical:

  • Brett is going to see "The Book of Mormon" and the crew piles on with excitement, recommending it as one of the best comedies ever produced.

    "Without question, the most complete piece of comedy I’ve ever watched. Painfully funny.” — John Holmberg [07:48]

  • The hosts recount the signature irreverence and smart writing, noting its rewatchability and universal appeal—even for the Mormon community.

• Notable Numbers:

  • John expresses genuine envy that Brett will experience it for the first time.
  • Brady and John exchange favorite show moments, including the catchy (and controversial) "Hasadiga Eebowai" number.
  • They note that even the LDS Church buys ads in the program:

    "They think they’re being clever... If they just shut up, it would be better off." — John Holmberg [09:32]

• On Offending Believers:

  • Discussion about ex-Mormons’ reactions—anger and laughter—and John’s assurance the show is more satire than attack.

  “It’s not a bash festival... If you don’t know the details, you can move them. But it’s so good." — John Holmberg [11:14]

  • Audience reviews and ticket prices are brought up—no one leaves disappointed, despite the high demand.

• The Power of Good Comedy:

  • John (half-jokingly) laments that after seeing "Book of Mormon," nothing else in comedy compares.

    “I left a little bit upset because it was so good... that’s the new bar for funny.” — John Holmberg [15:00]

3. World's Bravest Man: Opening a Gay Bar in Pakistan

[19:20 – 36:18]

• Introducing the Story:

  • The hosts transition from local sports and theater to global news—specifically, a Pakistani man who tried to open Abbottabad’s first gay bar.
  • They marvel at his courage and his (futile) attempts at clearance with authorities:

    "These are the brass balls of all brass balls in the world." — John Holmberg [20:18]

  • Pakistan's severe anti-LGBTQ+ laws are discussed, including government response—arrest and committal to a psychiatric facility.

• Philosophical Take on Orientation:

  • John uses the story to underscore that sexual orientation isn’t a choice, using the risk in conservative societies as an example:

    “That's how I tell you it's not a choice. In Pakistan, if it's a choice, the choice is easy: I don't diddle with Brett's butt, I don't get blown up." — John Holmberg [24:29]

• Of Hygiene, Danger, and Ridicule:

  • The segment is filled with crude jokes about hygiene, danger, and the absurd logistics of running such a club.
  • They lampoon what “the bravest” means, closing with jabs at American versus Pakistani LGBTQ+ struggles.

    "Sorry, Navy SEALs and Rangers. Not anymore. Those Pakistani homosexuals that are willing to be out loud about it." — John Holmberg [29:39]

• Extended Riffing on Pakistani Gay Bar Life:

  • Hypotheticals fly: the world’s least inviting gay bars, booby-trapped dancefloors, “mysterious” river bathing, and the possibility of the club’s very short lifespan.
  • The segment wraps with the classic “Brokeback Mountain” callback:

    “If you’re out in Pakistan, you’re Superman. You are the bravest man on the planet." — John Holmberg [29:49]
    "I can't quit you." — Brett [29:59]

4. Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Sports Fandom:

  “You don't want that—unless you lost to the world champs, that's better.” — John Holmberg [06:33]

• On Comedy:

  "I've said this before, it made me angry. I left a little bit upset because it was so good... that's the new bar for funny." — John Holmberg [15:00]

• On Bravery:

  "The braver man than him is the first patron of Lorenzo's gay club in Abbottabad... the second you are, you open... congratulations, the gayest man in Pakistan." — John Holmberg [23:04]

• On Orientation & Risk:

  “Being gay is not a choice. Those dudes are willing to open a gay bar in Abbottabad. That's brave.” — John Holmberg [25:07]

• On Local Theatre:

  “If all you listening out there have not seen the Book of Mormon, and you like funny? Man, you’re not going to find it put together... there is no lull. Every single piece of that thing is funny.” — John Holmberg [08:53]

5. Flow & Tone

• The episode is a classic, rapid-fire HMS session: equal parts sports talk, irreverent comedy, pop culture, and jaw-dropping news from around the world.
• John Holmberg’s hosting is sharp and fast-paced; the team tosses in personal anecdotes, recurring inside jokes, and impressions (including a recurring Triumph the Insult Comic Dog as a gay Pakistani).
• Humor is crass and unfiltered—sometimes crossing into intentionally offensive territory, in the spirit of satire.

Conclusion

This episode blends local sports culture, theatre geekiness, and international human rights conversation into HMS’s trademark, black-humor stew. Listeners are left with recommendations (go see The Book of Mormon if you haven’t, even if you’re Mormon), new sports rivalries, and a newfound respect (or awe) for a Pakistani activist whose courageous effort gives the crew a humbling perspective on risk, courage, and freedom.